Why does it seem like you see narcissists everywhere after you have gotten out of a relationship with one? This could be the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon or the frequency illusion. Once you deal with one narcissist it opens your eyes to toxicity and it's hard to unsee it.
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I'm Lee & I've been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ). I've been in therapy since 2017 & It has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything. My platform is dedicated to giving you the WHYs behind the things that Narcissists do. I'm not here to diagnose ANYONE or to tell you to leave your relationship. I'm just trying to give you the information to make your own informed decisions
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Episode Transcript
What is going on, beautiful folks?
Lee Hammock, your favorite narcissist favorite diagnosed
nurses here with another episodeof Narcissist Code Y'all, why do
you see so many narcissists nowadays?
Why does it seem like you see narcissist everywhere?
Like everywhere you turn your little empathetic head, you see
(00:21):
a damn narcissist or you think you see a narcissist.
Like damn, is that a narcissist there?
Is that a narcissistic trait there?
Are you a narcissist? Is that a narcissist?
Am IA narcissist? What is going on here?
Y'all? That's what happened in today.
Y'all We're just talking about why it seems like there's so
many narcissists nowadays, like especially after you have see
after you have dealt with a narcissist.
(00:43):
Why does it seem like there's somany more out here like Lee, I
dealt with one. Now I think everybody's a
narcissist. I now I recognize the traits so
good. Now I don't know what to do I'm
but I'm feel like I'm going crazy right now.
This happens Y'all so auntie auntie sugar say I'm so scared
(01:06):
Yo. This is what happens right here.
There's something called the Badar mine off phenomenon or the
frequency illusion. You might have saw the thumbnail
said the frequency illusion. This happens when somebody say
I, somebody say I attract them. Yeah, we'll talk about that
later in a few seconds as well. But the frequency illusion or
like I said, the Badar Meinhof, like Badar Meinhof phenomenon
(01:29):
just means that you see more of something.
It seems like you see more of something because you've you,
you, it's, it's fresh in your mind.
It's kind of, it happens like this right here.
They just say I, I like Toyota Priuses, right?
I always wanted the Toyota Prius.
Like I've never driven one before.
I've never had one. But ever since I started looking
up on looking them up online, I see them everywhere.
(01:50):
It's like, damn, it's a Prius right here.
There's a Prius over there. I'm I'm on top of a Prius.
I'm parked beside the Prius, right?
I'm behind that Prius. It seems like you see them
everywhere, but they've always been there.
Those Priuses have always been there.
Now substitute the word Prius orthe Priuses or whatever it is.
Substitute that for narcissist after you've seen a narcissist
(02:16):
up close and personal, after you've dealt with one, after you
had a kid with one been married,one been raised by one.
Once you wake up to what narcissism actually is or
pathological narcissist actuallyis, you're going to seemingly
see them everywhere. You're going to seemingly see
them literally every single place you turn around your,
(02:36):
your, your friends who you neverthought, who who you never
suspected of being narcissistic.You're going to start to see
them. You're going to start like, damn
you, you kind of toxic. Damn, you know what I'm saying?
What's going on with you? You kind of you look, you look,
you're smidge toxic. You look, you got to look
Toxicity coming from you. I never knew.
I've never noticed that about you before of how toxic you
(02:58):
actually are. We've been friends for 20 years
and now I see you differently right now.
You see what I'm saying? That's literally the mentality
that so many people are going togo up against.
The frequency illusion is an absolute real thing.
You're not. You're not seeing more of it.
You just realizing it now. You just recognizing it's kind
(03:20):
of like the blindness have been taken off and you're hyper
vigilant. You're hyper focused on it now
because you've been traumatized by it.
You've been traumatized by this person, by your parent, by your
ex. So, yeah, just like Auntie Sugar
said, it can be so damn scary. It can because now you can be.
Because now you've been in a toxic relationship.
(03:40):
You survived this toxic relationship or you might still
be going through it right now. Now you think this, now you're
afraid you like that? Everybody's a narcissist now.
Damn, I there's no freedom here.I got usually there's nothing I
can do. Like everybody around me is a
narcissist. I'm gonna say I'm gonna stay my
happy ass in the house. My empathetic ass is going to
(04:00):
stay in the house right now because now I see it's just like
I'm seeing everything around me and everybody look and feel
toxic. What can I do?
You know what I mean? And that can make you feel like
you're that little. That can make you feel like
you're going crazy. Y'all, let's keep y'all know.
Y'all don't like to keep it hot and ready like a little season
piece over here that can make you feel like you're going crazy
and losing your mind. When you're dealing with
(04:22):
somebody like this or you're trying to survive, you're trying
to thrive. You're trying to find some type
of way, some way, shape or form to move forward because now you
feel stuck. You, you absolutely feel stuck.
Lady of Lust says, right. You're more aware of it now.
So now red flags won't get past you.
Yeah. Red flags won't get past you
because now it's like they it's like they raining from the sky.
(04:43):
They won't get past you. Now it's just like, is it, is it
raining? Is it really raining?
Red flags, I see them everywhere.
Is it has it always been like this?
It's kind of like matter of fact, it's kind of like y'all
y'all ever seen the movie The matrix, right?
I know most people have seen themovie The matrix.
If you haven't seen the matrix, stop the live right now.
(05:03):
Go watch the matrix just so you can come back and get this
analogy. I'm more the drop.
Did you leave? OK, now that everybody has left,
they hasn't seen the matrix. Literally Neo like when when
what you call it? Oh, what's his name?
When Morpheus sat down with Neo,he said take the red pill or the
(05:24):
blue pill. You take the blue pill, you go
back to sleep. You won't remember this this
it'll seem like a bad dream. You take the red pill, yo ass
going to wake up and you going to see everything for what it
is. You going to see the real world.
I look, I'm going to show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
I'm going to show your ass exactly how deep this rabbit
(05:44):
hole goes. Red or blue Neo say red Neo say
he took the red flag. You know, stuff that shit down
his throat. Now he woke up to in the Matrix
and he saw everything for what it is.
He started seeing the real world.
He started seeing everybody likeeverybody fake.
Damn. He woke up in the Matrix and
(06:05):
once you wake up in the Matrix, once you wake up to narcissism,
you cannot go back to sleep to it.
You can absolutely not go back to sleep once you wake up to
what's actually going on in the real world, you cannot go to
sleep to you cannot go back to sleep.
You can try. You can try to go back to sleep,
but you know, go back and watch them go back and watch the movie
(06:25):
The Matrix again. The one person who tried to go
back to sleep, he end up turningon everybody and getting his ass
cooked. He ended up getting killed.
I think his name was Cipher or something like that.
He end up dying, right, because he wanted to go back to sleep.
He got tired of seeing the narcissist everywhere.
He got tired of seeing the real world.
He's a man. This dude, I'm tired.
Damn, you know what I mean, You know what I'm saying?
I I'm tired. So it's just like once he
(06:47):
started knowing it, you can't goback to sleep.
It's you're damn near cooked, right?
You know, once you know, you absolutely know the red pill to
I'm going to show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
I'm going to show you, right. And this was going.
It's raining men. Instead of raining men, it's
raining red flags. Yeah.
And that what ends up happening.What's going on, Joey?
(07:07):
That ends up happening to so many people, y'all?
That's why I'm saying like you're seeing more of it.
It's not that you it's not that you're seeing more of it.
It's the fact that you're just you awake to it.
Now you've been awakened to it. Now you, you're woke, right?
So now that the fact that you'rewoke is very difficult or damn
near impossible to go back to sleep, you can't Unsee it.
(07:28):
And not being able to Unsee it can be a very frustrating
dynamic gal. It can be extremely frustrating
because now you can't Unsee whatis going on, even though you
sometimes you want to go back tosleep.
I would. I never saw them for who they
are. Too bad.
Now you woke up to it. Now you can't go back to sleep.
You absolutely cannot do that and it doesn't work.
(07:50):
That doesn't help you. If you, you can try again, you
can try to go back to sleep, butit doesn't work at all.
So once you wake up to it's justlike use this, use the hyper
vigilance, use the awareness to help you.
You know what I mean? Use the awareness in a situation
to help you. And it's sometimes you can use,
sometimes you can use the awareness to not only help you,
but to help other people as well.
(08:11):
Because it's important because like once you wake up to it,
once you're able to talk about it, once you're able to have
this different level of discernment and growth, it can
help you. It can help propel yourself to
the next level of helping people, assisting people and
just helping, assisting yourselfbecause the hyper vigilance
doesn't go away. It can, right?
But once you start dating again or getting back out there in the
(08:33):
dating market or dating pool, whatever the case may be, the
red flag, you going to see the red flags, But now you can act
on them. Now they'll give you a red flag
to be like, look, hey, here, here's the red, here's, here's,
here's one of my red flags. You'll be like,
(08:57):
hell no, You see what I'm saying?
Nope. You'll be able to walk away
regardless of how attractive youthink they are, regardless of
you know what I mean? The level of the, the lust, the
regardless of how, how hot they make you, right?
That's what happens. You're able to have a different
level of discernment, which helps protect you in the long
run. It really absolutely does.
(09:20):
Let that discernment be your protection.
You know, I'm too scared to get back out there.
Take your time. Take your time.
The fear dissipates over a whileafter a while, right?
But you have to take your time because the first person that
you have to trust when you're trying to date again is you when
you're trying to date again after narcissistic relationship.
So many people don't trust themselves like you.
(09:42):
Like well, my, my picker must beawful because I picked this
toxic narcissistic bastard. So I must be a horrible at
picking people, right? So I hear a lot of people say
that. So the first person that you
have to trust out there is you. You have to be able to trust
yourself to have that level of discernment, to use that hyper
vigilance, to use what you've been through in order to help
protect you and keep you from going it again, to keep you from
(10:04):
going through it again. You know what I mean?
That's what helps protect you. That's what helps guide you.
That's what helps going on. I keep getting commercials.
Do has has it broken up? I haven't seen that break up.
Well, they don't they don't come.
I'm on. I'm not even on YouTube.
I'm on like this psycho stream yard.
You're hyper vigilance goes through the roof for everyone.
Yeah, absolutely. You start seeing you start look,
(10:24):
you might start seeing red flagsthat are not even there, but
that doesn't have to look. That doesn't have to be a bad
thing. Seeing red flags doesn't have to
be in in other people doesn't have to be a bad thing because
you have to use your level of discernment.
Like, OK, I see this flag right here.
I see this person is this bad? You see what I'm saying?
(10:45):
Is this a real red flag or or isthis my hyper vigilance?
Trust yourself. If you think it's a red flag,
dip, dip, dip. What's going on?
Scott Jackson dip the narcissistic experience fix my
picker. I fully trust myself.
There you go humility before honors.
There you go. It help.
It can help you out. It doesn't have to be a it
(11:06):
doesn't always have to be a negative thing.
It can be a positive at the end of the day to help us benefit
you greatly. You know what I mean?
This can be one of those positive things that helps you
move forward. It helps protect your peace and
help protect yourself. Today is 4 years since my
experience and I found your videos power up.
They took a look. They took off the the song I
used to use sky that get you that the veto the singer song
(11:31):
get you with me. It's time to boss up.
Fix your credit, girl get it. They took it off.
They're happy. Better use it.
Hi, Lee. Oh, I was like, wait, who's Lee?
I just left my narcissistic parent after eight years of
extreme abuse. I'm at the lowest, sickest point
of my life. Is healings is healing season.
It's healing season right now. Low.
(11:52):
It's the lowest point of your life means that you only you
only have to go. Only way you have to go is up.
I know this is. I know it sounds like it's just
a motivational speech. That ain't how it goes, though.
It's a truth. It's a truth speech.
The only way you can go is up. Go ahead and go, my boy.
Lee, cut them locks. Yeah, they're gone.
They're gone. Here's a spin.
Y'all see the back, but listen to album.
(12:24):
There you go. I'm still in that zone of not
trusting anyone. Everyone is a red flag.
For now. Peace will be protected.
Yeah, protect. You have to protect your peace.
Your peace is worth protecting. If you get nothing else from
this life, your peace is worth protecting.
But also my coaching, my courses, everything is at
mentalillness.net. And for my highly rated my five
(12:46):
star courses, you can enter the code mothers or fathers to get
them half off, half off courses.That could absolutely be the
catalyst to help you live a better, more impact, more
impactful life, to help you recognize the red flags and also
to help you heal from toxicity. mentalillness.net.
Check them out. I love the video on Narc season.
(13:09):
Oh yeah, I just did it yesterday.
I was getting hype. You're crown dread.
Yeah, I had a it was time to go.It was time to go.
Being with y'all, I do have to hop off this thing.
I actually have a call I got to hop on in the next few seconds.
I need to run to the bathroom really quick but I didn't hop
off this thing. Y'all again, mental illness.net
for everything. The one on ones are on there as
(13:30):
well. If y'all do want to do a
one-on-one, you can enter the code mental 15.
It gives you 15% off. It makes it like the damn
they're the most affordable narcissistic coach you've never
mentioned called mental 15 y'all.
Anyway, anyways y'all I got to hop off this thing.
Hit that subscribe button if youhave it and I'm out.
Peace healing season is scary.
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