June 26, 2025 • 48 mins
What happens when you dare to abandon others' blueprints and forge your own destiny? My profound conversation with Melanie Ann Layer of Alpha Femme reveals just that. From navigating life in her car to manifesting a global empire, Melanie's journey is a testament to the sacred alchemy of leading from within.
We explore the pivotal shift from external striving to embodying the magnificent force you already are. Melanie shares philosophies like "pineapple season is coming" for divine timing, "for me, for you, for us" for authentic connection, and "I am the one or the one who got away" for pure sovereignty.
This dialogue transcends old paradigms, inviting you to see growth as an exhilarating exploration of boundless potential. Melanie's ultimate legacy? Cultivating a future where daughters celebrate their mothers' powerful paths.
This conversation isn't just about success—it's about transmuting its very definition into an experience of sublime unfolding.
Find Melanie on Instagram: @melanieannlayer and @alphafemme
More info here
Follow me on Instagram: @merilyn
Website: merilyn.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, hello there, I'm Marilyn.
Welcome to my show.
Today I'm talking with the oneand only Melanie Ann Lea.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
It eased when I realized that I was Alpha Femme,
when I realized I don't need toworry about what I'm going to
be when I grow up.
I love who I am.
If I was this for the rest oftime, I'd be proud.
I don't need to think about thefuture anymore.
That was a really cool momentto think about the future
anymore.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
That was a really cool moment.
Melanie is the brilliant mindbehind Alpha Femme, a global
brand she built from humblebeginnings to a multi,
multi-million dollar coachingcompany.
Her revolutionary teachings areabsolutely transforming how
women lead their lives andbusinesses worldwide.
Let's dive in.
Melanie and Leah,affectionately known as Lenny,
welcome to my show.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
It is an honor and I am sohappy to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I have to say I found you, or I should say I
manifested you, because a fewyears ago I really was
struggling with and I use thatword on purpose with the whole
formulaic, probably masculineside of especially online
business and my heart was saying, please, I want to see examples
(01:14):
of people doing it their way,doing it differently, and is it
possible?
And you came into my life and Ihave thoroughly enjoyed
allowing you to just completelychange the way things are done
for me and show that example.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Thank you.
Well, that is brilliant.
I am so happy and it makes myday to hear that.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I'd like to start with, not your signature story.
I think if the listeners, ifthe listeners want to, you know
they've never heard of you andthey'd love to know the story
about you know, living out ofyour car, all of that just do
some research, go research yourpodcasts, search in Melanie, ann
(01:59):
Lay or Alpha Femme and you willfind plenty of ways that she
tells that story.
And what I love about you,melanie, is you do tell it
differently every time.
You keep it fresh.
But we're not going to go theretoday.
I would like to know.
You were thrust intoresponsibility at a very young
age.
You were asked to help yourparents financially.
You looked after your siblingswhich were a little bit younger
(02:22):
than you.
What did baby Melanie, what didyoung Melanie want to do when
she grew up?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
It's so funny because I just remember wanting to be
an artist, like an illustratoror something Like.
I loved performing, singing, ahyeah, but I also knew that that
(02:51):
would be completelyunacceptable.
So from a very young age I hadno idea what I should do,
because I had two ideas and Iremember my dream was to be a
singer and to just be able to becreative.
But then if I couldn't do that,I wanted to be a criminal
lawyer and my dad didn't want meto.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Wow, how young were you?
When you remember thinking thatVery young.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Very young.
Yeah, I remember a girl atschool was going through
something really terrible.
Something had happened to hersister and they had managed to
catch the bad guy and, thinking,like, I want to be the person
that catches the bad guy.
And the year after thathappened in school, in one of
the projects we were given atschool, there was this whole
thing where we had all theseclues and we had to figure out
(03:39):
what had happened.
And I was obsessed with theschool project.
I got the best grades I'd evergotten in any project of my life
and all I could do is thinkabout it.
And I was obsessed with theschool project.
I got the best grades I'd evergotten in any project of my life
and all I could do was thinkabout it.
And I just remember telling.
So I'd already told my dad Iwanted to be a singer, which he
had said you can't do that.
And then I also told him thenfine, if I can't be a singer,
then I shall be a criminallawyer.
(03:59):
And he was like no, you can'tdo that either.
He was like you don'tunderstand the danger you'll be
putting yourself in.
He sold me all against it.
So I really did not know what Iwas going to do.
Apart from the things I wantedto do, I just know that.
I just knew there was somethingI should be doing, that I
didn't know what.
So from a very young age I feltthe stress of not knowing what
I should be.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
When did that stress ease?
When did that?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
stress ease.
I think it eased when Irealized that I was Alpha Femme,
when I realized I don't need toworry about what I'm going to
be when I grow up.
I love who I am.
If I was this for the rest oftime, I'd be proud.
I don't need to think about thefuture anymore.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
That was a really cool moment.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And that would have only been a few years ago,
really.
Oh yeah, like 2021.
Like when I really thought tomyself I don't need to think
about what I want to be when Igrow up anymore.
I remember, probably aninterview I had at some point in
2021 made me realize that,where it was like someone had
asked me what do you want to donext after this?
And I was like I just see thisin different iterations, I see
(05:11):
this on a greater scale, I seethis with maybe plus being an
author, or and I see this plusbringing back all the things
that I love.
I've been able to sing again.
I've been able to do the thingsthat I really love as passions.
I've actually brought backeverything, and it's been wild
to see how much of the passionsI originally had have held their
place here.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Did you have a sense at a young age that you were
born for something unusual orgreat?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
No, I really just hoped I could make my parents
proud.
That was really all I reallycared about at that point.
That was really my mostimportant thing.
I wanted them to be so proud ofme.
I just remember that beingreally the measuring stick for
almost every decision I evermade until I was about 25 years
old.
What's your?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
thoughts on that sort of bigger calling of leadership
that you know you are movinginto.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
It really feels like and it's something interesting
because you said at times peoplehave told you leadership is
really only something that youwould do inside of a marketplace
or inside of the workforce.
It's not something that youwould do for individuals.
But the thing is the rise ofthe entrepreneur.
It's a real thing Like more andmore people are becoming
self-made, self-led.
If they don't have leadership,they can only go as far as their
(06:22):
own capacity to lead themselves, which for most people, isn't
even beyond their own noses.
So they've got big dreams,they've got visionary dreams,
but in reality, they're notmaking any of those dreams
manifest because they can't leadthemselves to the execution.
And so what I'm really seeingis that this isn't teaching
leadership, it's leadingleadership.
It's not a concept.
The people who are drawn tothis with me are very aware that
(06:47):
if they don't lead themselves,their dream isn't going anywhere
.
And so it's like the mostincredible thing, because I'm
not teaching leadership.
That's not even how I feel.
I feel like I'm leadingleadership.
I'm saying let's make your lifewhat you want it to be.
What do we need to move?
What's stuck?
What's not moving?
Where are you afraid?
And it's causing you to notlead yourself?
Where have you got to block, inwhatever area.
Whether you want to create amulti-million dollar business,
(07:07):
whether you want to create afamily dynamic that's beyond
anything you were ever shown,whether you want to change
generational wealth in yourfamily, whether you want to lead
a movement or a paradigm shifton earth, it doesn't matter what
it is.
If you can't lead yourself andthen other people, nothing
changes.
And so there's a lot of peoplewith big dreams right now, but
not a lot of people with bigresults.
So leadership is the catalyst,the gateway to that, and what I
(07:30):
kind of see is that at any agewe have stories about what we
can and can't do.
I remember being 25 andthinking I was too old.
I think about that, I laugh,but it was like my life's over.
A lot of my friends weregetting married and having
babies and I was sleeping in thefront seat of a Honda Civic.
Like my life was ruined.
I was 25.
It's like we don't realizeyou're not too young.
(07:54):
And then I have women in theirforties, fifties telling me I'm
too old.
I'm like have you lost yourmarbles?
You're not even in your primeyet.
Like, keep moving, you know.
And so I feel like age reallydoesn't matter and I think that
if I could, if I could lead froma younger age, then I'll be
(08:14):
able to lead well into my quoteunquote old age, it won't matter
.
I think I want to defy that.
I want to defy time andeverything that I do and how
long things take and how earlyis too early and too late is too
late.
I want to redefine all of that.
So I think it'll be a coolthing for me, when I'm 100, to
be leading people into thefuture, knowing I've been doing
that since before people eventook me seriously.
Who?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
inspires you as a great leader, dead or alive, or
even fiction.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Oh my gosh, I have so many people.
Every single story of likethrough adversity into triumph
has been my bedtime stories.
You know, along my journey,anyone from the Beatles, who
were told they couldn't sing, toMeryl Streep, who told she
wasn't pretty enough fortelevision, to Oprah, who was
told she only didn't have whatit took to even be on the radio,
(08:59):
who then ended up having herown channel to you know, martin
Luther King, having our ownchannel to you know, martin
Luther King to it doesn't matter.
Like any leader that had to gothrough or was faced with
extreme adversity always remindsme I haven't seen anything yet
of how hard this could be.
This is still easy enough tonot give up, no matter what I'm
going through.
Like these people have inspiredme so greatly on my journey,
(09:22):
and what I've really seen islike leaders make history.
Like you want to remembersomebody, you remember the
legends, the legends of peoplewho made history and they led in
some sort of capacity.
And so, for me, the people whoinspire me the most are the ones
who've led some kind ofprogress or change on the planet
and have a story about how itwasn't in the cards for them,
(09:42):
how they had to stand forsomething or stand against
something, despite the odds, andmade a difference.
Those are the people thatreally matter to me in my
journey the most.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
What breaks your heart most about the world right
now?
What would you change?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know, I just feel like with social media, it's
such an incredible gift.
Social media is such anincredible gift.
Social media is such anincredible gift.
It gives us an opportunity toconnect to people all over the
world.
It gives us an opportunity forpeople to have a real voice and
for us to share like a wholeother renaissance, Like last
time there was a development incommunication the world totally
(10:20):
changed.
So if people really listened tohow similar we all are, if we
all really just talked andreally listened to each other, I
feel like this social mediaplatform could be
revolutionizing humanity.
But instead, because so manypeople are conditioned for
validation metrics, it's becomean opportunity for validation
(10:40):
instead of an opportunity forlearning.
People aren't looking to seewhat they don't know.
They're looking to get likes onwhat they do know.
They're looking to find thepeople who agree with them.
They don't want to bechallenged, they don't want to
evolve, they don't want to grow,and I think the superficiality
of social media and how a lot ofthings are just to be liked
instead of to make progress orto make something amazing happen
(11:02):
.
I think that's my biggestsadness right now the online
bullying and the hate andganging up on people.
It's so easy online.
I think it's really unhealthyand I love social media.
I see such an incredibleopportunity.
It would be much easier if Icould just hate it and say let's
not use it anymore.
It's so toxic.
(11:22):
But the fact is, I see thepotential and I just wish I
could inspire people to want touse it differently.
But it's a big.
It's a big request, it's a bigask.
And the fact is, social mediahas been built in very addictive
ways.
You know, with this likeintermittent rewards of people
seeing your story and peopleliking your stuff and then all
of a sudden you're invisible.
And then you write one post andit barely gets nothing, but the
next one gets a bunch of likesand people are constantly
(11:45):
chasing that.
Am I being seen?
Am I being valued?
Instead of I'm saying what I'vegot to say and whoever will see
it will see it.
But I'm saying what I've got tosay.
I'm building my voice Like.
I care much less about theimpact my voice has today.
I care a lot more about whatthe impact of my voice will be
in a decade and two decades fromnow.
So who cares about how manylikes it's getting now?
What I care about is that themessage is squeaky clean and
(12:07):
that I'm building something thatyou know in a decade from now.
If I want the world to hear it,I can make it around the world
that I'm focusing on the biggerpicture.
I wish more people understoodthey could do that.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Related to that is the tall poppy syndrome.
Are you aware of that phrase?
I have heard this phrase.
Yeah, it's very much anAustralian thing where we cut
down people who rise above,talented people, people doing
great things.
(12:38):
What's your take on that?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
that, when people do want to rise or are rising,
whether it's in sport, whetherit's in business, whether it's
in arts, there is this wantingto cut down and we see it in the
social media all the time isthat people have this false
(13:04):
pedestal thing they do withpeople who succeed, where they
imagine that in order for themto have become successful, they
must have pulled the wool overeveryone's eyes and pretended
they were perfect somehow.
And they think they candisprove their talent, their
leadership, their grit by justfinding a flaw.
(13:25):
I think if they find enoughflaws they can disprove the
beauty.
But like that's not how itworks.
I think the maturity isunderstanding.
Everyone has an imperfect side.
All human beings are imperfect.
Everyone sees themselves attheir worst in their lifetime,
but not everyone gets to seethemselves at their best.
(13:46):
Not everyone has the disciplineto go find out what they're
capable of.
So when you see someone who'sreally doing something
extraordinary, they didn't dosomething extraordinary because
they pulled the wool overeverybody's eyes that they were
perfect.
They did it because, in theface of everything that was
imperfect, same as everybodyelse, they were still able to be
disciplined enough to go findsomething glorious.
And so the thing I believe withthe tall poppy syndrome, as you
(14:11):
explain it, is that people arewanting to cut people down back
to being normal.
The fact is they are normal.
It's just on top of theirnormal they built extraordinary.
No-transcript, pointless.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Speaking of being human, what do you still find
really hard now?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
still find really hard now no-transcript, the one
that would watch other peoplethat succeeded and genuinely
thinking to myself gosh, imaginebeing that person.
Or gosh, imagine being able todo that.
Or gosh, and those people notfeeling quite as human as my mom
(15:27):
or my aunt or my friend, likethey were a persona more than a
person.
I remember that feeling towardsother people, of it being like
they had transcended outside ofnormal humanity into this iconic
status.
Yeah, when they were beyond justa person.
(15:48):
They were now they made it,type kind of thing.
And it always blows my mind,being a person, that I know some
people look at me like thatsometimes and how much of a
human I really am and just beinglike gosh.
If there was a way for me tojust like I don't know how but
lend you my brain for fiveminutes just so you can see what
(16:11):
I'm trying to tell you.
Like we have it in us right nowto become successful, it's just
we have to put down all thethings that separates us from
the people who are.
We've got to create proximityto the people who are successful
.
That's why all those that cutpeople down push them away.
It's like they're having aworse experience of it all
because of that.
(16:32):
Like the proximity to power, theactually being able to say like
that's my mentor, that's myfriend, that's I know this
person, instead of like there'sa girl on the internet, I heard
this one podcast interview.
It's like it's beyond that.
You could be listening to thisand we would just be talking
like Marilyn, I could just bespeaking on on the couch.
Like it's not about who, it'slike there's just people talking
(16:56):
and if you can connect somehow,if you can be like a woman I
know this person, I love thisperson, I care about.
If you can find the proximity,if you can decide that you
belong.
All of a sudden all the codesbecome so much more transferable
.
People are just choosing peopleto learn from, like teachers at
arm's length, instead of comingin with that mentor energy,
that real like devotion to aperson, like a friend you lock
(17:19):
arms with and go the distancewith.
And I feel the craziest thingis how much I realized there is
a veil or a thing in the way ofme and people I never thought
could be there.
Because there was a time, fiveminutes ago, that I had to try
to explain that I was goodenough.
And now I have to time fiveminutes ago that I had to try to
explain that I was good enough.
And now I have to explain I'mhuman.
I don't know where that linegot drawn, where, where.
(17:42):
One day it was like, well, youknow, you're just a human, what
makes you good enough to saythese things?
And now it's like, well, yeah,but you're super human, Of
course you know these things.
And it's like no, no, no, no,no.
Let's go back to the fact.
Let's go back to the firstthing that was easier to prove.
It was easier for me to provethat I was good at this than for
me to prove that I'm human,like that is the weird thing to
try to prove that I'm normal,that I'm exactly the same, that
(18:03):
if you listen to this, we'regoing places like that's.
The most challenging thing isto know and to experience myself
as not quite normal to people.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
That's weird because that can cause a disconnect with
us and we don't see, we almost,like, put a gap between us and
the person we admire and itfreezes us in being able to go.
Well, there goes me as well, Ican do that.
So, yeah, you have a lot ofsayings, little short, pithy
(18:38):
sayings that really arememorable.
I've been thinking about thosea lot and I have a collection of
them in my notes.
They aren't just clevermarketing statements, they have
personal meaning to youstatements.
(19:00):
They have personal meaning toyou.
Do you mind if I read out someof them and you give very let's,
do it quickly, give me quicklythe abridged version, the origin
story, but also the personalwhy?
Because I think they're and Ithink I'm right that've started
for you.
First.
They've been a personalaffirmation to lift you up.
You ready, I'm ready.
(19:22):
Let's go to probably one of themost famous one Pineapple
season is coming.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Oh my gosh.
So this one was in 2019.
I was in Hawaii with Kevin andwe went to the Dole Pineapple
Plantation because Kevin lovesto do touristy stuff whenever we
go to a new place.
And we went on this Dolepineapple express, which is a
little train that takes you allthrough the pineapple fields.
And as we're on this pineappletrain and Kevin's all giddy
because he loves this stuff, allof a sudden this little voice
(19:49):
comes to the speaker of thetrain and they're explaining to
us how pineapples grow.
And this, this guy on the train, the automated voice, is
explaining pineapples take 18months to grow One pineapple per
plant at a time when the firstpineapple is ready to be picked,
it's picked, and then thesecond one takes up to a year to
grow and then that one's pickedand then we take out the whole
(20:14):
plant and plant a whole new one.
I'm listening to this.
I did not know that thatpineapples were one fruit per
plant and it takes 18 months.
It takes longer to grow apineapple than a baby.
I started thinking to myself.
I wonder who the first personwas that ever planted a
pineapple and thought what theheck's wrong with these seeds.
Nothing's growing 18 months.
(20:34):
On the drive back from thepineapple fields back to our
home.
We were listening to music andI just got this feeling to write
this text.
And as I started writing it,one of the sentences I wrote was
we sometimes question thetiming of the universe.
We think things should happenfaster than they're happening.
But what if mother nature, god,the universe, heard us and they
(20:58):
received the seed and the waythat we plant, the thoughts and
the way that we water them, like?
That's the soil that we plant,it's the seeds that we plant,
it's the watering of the plants,the trust, it's the faith.
What if everything has itsaligned harvest time?
What if the things that we'veplanted are on their way?
(21:20):
What if golden fruits withcrowns are worth being patient
for?
Pineapple season is coming andI've just kept that in my mind
always.
Like people could be a radish,I could meet a person today that
ends up being my best clienttomorrow or in three days from
now.
But also, sometimes pineappleseason is coming and I meet a
(21:41):
client and it takes them a yearand a half before they decide.
I'm the one.
And is it worth still wateringand still tending to the soil
and still making sure they geteverything they need.
Yes, it is, and so, from takingthat on, pineapple season is
coming in 2019.
The AlphaFem brands generatedover $85 million in pineapples
in people that took their owntime and it's been a beautiful
(22:02):
mantra for me.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Do you take a lot of pressure off you at that
particular time?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah, and I think a lot of my work has to do with
energetics like feminineenergetics and masculine
energetics.
And it's like you plant theseed.
That's masculine energetics.
You make sure the soil is goodit's masculine energetics.
You water the soil a certainamount.
That's masculine energetics.
You choose the location to makesure that they get enough sun
it's masculine energetics.
But then you can't touch theplant at all.
(22:29):
You can't uproot it to makesure the seed's okay.
You can't check on it, youcan't make it grow fast.
Yeah, you can't do anything toit other than lean back and
trust and faith and let the sunand the rain do its magic.
And that's so much of what Iteach in alpha femme is we've
got to do the masculine energythings.
But then we have to have thefaith, the inner capacity, the
(22:50):
regulated nervous system to beable to have faith and trust in
the timing of things and peopleand to not need to control every
outcome or else we burn outLike this is what happens.
It's the story of every woman'slife.
They come to me I did it thesix-figure job, multiple
six-figure, seven-figure jobthen I burnt out.
Can I really do it another way?
And I'm like, well, yeah, butwe're going to have to build you
(23:12):
from the inside out in thefeminine kind of way, in the way
where you believe rain iscoming even when it's sunny, in
the way where you believe thatsun is coming even when it's
raining.
You have to have faith.
You have to be strong on theinside to handle fear and stress
and pressure very differentthan to push and force and do.
But it's a.
It's a similar kind of strengthbut it takes different skills.
(23:32):
And it's been wild what'shappened in my life since I've
really leaned into theseteachings and this way of living
really.
And pineapple season is comingis like the most beautiful
mantra for me, because itreminds me there's nothing that
I can force.
That will be better than whatthe real aligned timing is.
I can try to force a pineappleto grow faster if I want, but
nothing will taste sweeter thanthe one that grew in the
(23:54):
Hawaiian soil for 18 months inthe summer sun and the Hawaiian
rain and the tropical rain.
That's the one that'll tastethe best.
So just trust.
They're meant to grow that way.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Breathe that in, everyone, pause and really drink
that in.
It's so powerful.
Okay, the next one for me, foryou, for us.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
This is such a big one and there's actually a
couple of origin stories becausethe most tangible origin
stories I literally had thefeeling like write this down.
And I wrote it and I was like,well, this isn't new.
And it was like, no, like readit and I was like for me, for
you, for us, it's normal.
I always do things for me, forfor us, and I was like, no, read
(24:34):
it again and read it againuntil it hit me that I didn't do
things for me, for you, for us,I did things for you.
Common female problem.
Yeah, like, if people areanything like me, you, we think
that doing things for you isdoing things for us.
Yes, and we forget that doingthings for you, if it's
something that makes me happy,is something I do for me.
(24:55):
So if I do it for you, thenI've got to be happy that I'm
doing it, because if I'm happythat I'm doing something for you
, then there's an us.
If I'm doing something for youthat I don't want to be doing,
that I'm bitter about, then theus is being bruised every time I
do something for you that Idon't want to do.
And so that was one part of theorigin story is understanding
the nature and the importance ofjust doing things for you is
(25:16):
not noble, nor does it create anus, and I think the strongest
frequency in relationships isthe us frequency.
If you did something for me andI find out later you didn't
want to do it, I'm not evenhappy.
You did it.
I want to know that you did itand you wanted to do it.
I want to know that you careabout us, that you love us, that
you want to do things, us, we,us, together.
That's the frequency I careabout, and so that was a big
(25:39):
piece of the puzzle.
But the other part of it for mehas been, in win-win-win
situations, really looking foroutcomes and thinking in my life
when I've been the most hurt iswhen people have protected
themselves and killed therelationship for it, like they
weren't willing to stand for us.
They just needed to make surethey were okay, and so finding
(26:00):
the wisdom in saying, if I standfor us, if that's really what
I'm standing for, then the wayI'm going to make decisions and
the way I'm going to communicateis very different than if I'm
just standing for me, like if Igive everything to you that I
can until one day I realize thatit's going against me and then
one day I have to stand for me.
That's kind of the typicalconversation.
(26:20):
But what if it was us all along?
Then what would happen?
So it's that triple win for me,for you, for us, my joy, your
joy, our joy, my love, your love, our love.
You know my success, yoursuccess, our success.
And, fundamentally, wheneverything in my life was built
in that frequency, everythingstarted to skyrocket.
For the longest time it was likebeing a good person was worn
(26:43):
like a badge of honor, like Idid this for you, and it wasn't
until it was.
I love doing this for you,because I love us.
Right, that's what was missingall along.
It's not a badge of honor togive.
It's a gift you give yourselfand others for a relationship.
And if it doesn't feel like that, then it's not the aligned
thing to do, and so I feel likeI stopped over giving so much
(27:06):
because it's like, if I don't,if it doesn't make me feel good
to do it, it won't even feelgood for them to receive it.
So lean back, do less, but dowhat you do with all your heart,
and it's paid off every singletime, every single thing I've
done for me, for you, for us haslanded 100% of the time.
The things I did for them notso much.
Most of it went unnoticed,unappreciated, and I ended up
(27:28):
feeling bitter and upset anyway.
So this has been the frequencyfor me that has changed
everything as far as overgivingor being in my masculine
thinking it's feminine,energetics, being generous and
kind like things you thinkyou're being, when in fact
you're giving, you're overgiving to be liked, you're
trying to look a certain way,you're wanting to control
(27:50):
people's anger or upset feelings.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
It's actually all done in masculine a lot of the
times and the next statement isI am the one or the one who got
away.
Oh, this is a good one.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So this was.
I had been in a very bad cycleof dating where I kept choosing
people for the reason that Ithought if I picked someone a
little less fabulous than Iwished for, they'd be happy,
they'd be lucky to have me.
Less fabulous than I wished for, they'd be happy, they'd be
lucky to have me.
You know, if I picked someonethat was maybe a little less
successful, a little lesscharismatic, a little bit less,
(28:24):
whatever you want to call itthat they would be grateful to
have me and then they wouldn'tleave, which would hurt so much
more when they did leave,because inadvertently, of course
when you have a person thatthat chooses you because, and
only because, they think you'rea little bit less than you,
might not leave.
It's a question of time beforeyou run a mile.
And so that happened.
Um, and I think the beauty of itwas I realized through, you
(28:50):
know, a very big decision tochange my life, that I was so
afraid of just being alone.
I had, I had the story that ifI wasn't married by the time I
was 25, I was going to be aloneforever.
And I was 25 and sleeping inthe front seat of my car.
So we were there and I just hadto make the decision, like, I
am not going to make this happen.
(29:11):
I'm going to learn how to be anextraordinary partner.
And I'm just going to be anextraordinary partner, not
because I'm trying to keep aperson, not because I'm trying
to make them not leave me, notbecause I'm trying to prove
Anything, but because that's whoI am.
And if I do that, in the endI'll be the one, and if I'm not
(29:31):
the one, I'll be the one who gotaway.
And I did this forrelationships at first.
That was the way I felt onevery date I went on.
It was a first date and I knewI was going on this first date
and I will be the one or the onewho got away.
I enjoyed my date.
I was entirely myself.
I brought myself in my peak tothe date, not to try to prove
(29:52):
anything just because I'm eitherthe one or the one who got away
.
It gave me so much freedom inmy self-expression, in my
relationship with myself, andeventually I brought these
concepts to business.
Instead of it being like you'regoing to lose a client, the
clients are going to not hireyou If you mess up, you're going
to miss I was like no, I'm theone.
If they don't hire me, I'm theone who got away.
(30:13):
I'm the genius one.
I'm the one that's got so muchto offer.
I'm going to continue learningand developing my skills.
I will be the greatest coachmentor there is on this planet.
I will do everything I've gotin my power because it's who I
am.
So if they don't choose me, I'mthe one who got away.
I don't need to chase peopleand it changed my career
entirely to do that.
(30:34):
All my marketing advertising,everything I do is so different.
Most people come to me andthey're like you just don't have
that energy most people have.
When you're doing the thing,I'm like.
I know there's something deepinside of me that changed early
on in the journey and itaffected things on a very big
scale.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Brilliant.
Look, I've got probably 20 more.
I could say.
I'm just trying to think whichway will we go limited time,
knowing you were coming on?
I had some questions put to meby my listeners so I thought,
instead of sort of drawing themout, let's do them like in two
(31:13):
minutes and we'll do real, realquick, like quick draw.
All right, are we ready?
Yes, what do you do to elevateyour vibrational frequency every
day?
Speaker 2 (31:23):
I live my life the way I want to think about it
when I'm 90.
I take every day of my life andI think about if I were 90 and
I was given a chance to be 36today, what would I be doing
with my day?
I just I choose today would Iwould be doing with my day?
I just I choose today.
Like I got it today, like itwas a gift from the future I
gave.
I gave it to myself.
It's a gift, it's not forgranted.
(31:44):
What do I want to do today?
Immediately raises my vibe wow,wow.
How do you solve conflict withKevin?
My gosh, there really is not alot of conflict with kevin, like
there really just is noconflict with kevin.
Um, honestly, it's I, we careabout each other so much.
It's a for me, for you, for usrelationship.
(32:05):
The minute there's a feeling ofsomething, it immediately just
gets discussed like there's noconflict with kevin.
There's misunderstandings withke Kevin that get solved in
communication at light speed.
Was it always that way?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
That's my question.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
You know, when I first started dating Kevin, I
had been through the whole I'mthe one or the one who got away,
kind of thing, and a big partof being the one in my mind I
remember telling myself becauseI had made this list of like
what's my dream partner and howam I going to feel with this
dream partner.
And I wrote, made this list oflike what's my dream partner and
how am I going to feel withthis dream partner, and I wrote
(32:41):
this whole list.
And then I got this thoughtagain not mine, but it came
through my head and I knewlisten to this, this is an
important question.
I said I heard in my mind avoice say if this is what you're
asking for, who's that personasking for and are you that?
And it kind of hit me for asecond because I was like well,
let me go through these and see.
I want a person with a greatsense of humor.
Do I laugh?
(33:01):
I want a person that is kindand compassionate.
Do I respect that or do I stillchase that high from the bad
guy, the bad boy?
I want the person who caresabout their family.
But do I really want that or doI want someone who's going to
just swan off to Ibiza with mewhenever I want, like what's the
actual thing that I want?
And so I actually refined my mylist, and one of the big things
(33:24):
on my list was I don't want, Iwant a relationship where there
is absolute love, compassion andunderstanding, like I.
The picture I painted wasbasically there's no conflict,
and so it had to be.
Well, who am I going to be inthat then?
And so I can't be perfect.
I'm not going to not say whenthere's conflict, I've got to be
as honest as possible, but I'vegot to forgive quickly and I've
(33:48):
, and I've got to love more thanI want to be right, and I've
got it.
Like, there was a lot of thingsI realized I needed to work on,
and I worked on a lot of thosethings before I ever met Kevin
and that.
But the thing is, I manifestedthe one like, had I lost Kevin,
he'd have been the one who gotaway.
Had he lost me, I'd have beenthe one who got away.
He was everything I needed inorder to grow into the person I
(34:09):
wanted to be, and I waseverything he needed to become.
Like both of us just completedeach other, but it was.
We never played games and onething was for sure we were not
about to let each other go.
And I think when you know thatin a relationship, conflict
changes.
Unless you fight for funbecause you don't know your
worth and I had worked on thatyou know some people fight for
(34:30):
the high just to feel like theymatter.
I always knew I mattered withhim.
I think it was think it wasjust the perfect thing for us.
I can't say this was the casein my other relationships, but
with Kevin we've got it.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Do you ever lose your temper, and how do you deal
with it if you do?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah, I mean I've had some things that have happened
in my life that I just wonderhow anyone could possibly like.
I wonder how you, how youbecome more successful and deal
with some of the things LikeI've dealt with people's
character that's so intense andin the public eye, where you
know they may not have areputation they care about, and
so they're willing to say thingsthat never happened, in ways
(35:10):
that didn't happen, and they'llsay it loud as if it happened.
And I have to look at it and belike is there any way I can,
even is there even a way I canaddress this?
And it's like there isn't.
So I have to let a lie be a lie, spun in the worst way that
never happened and I have tojust let it.
And that makes me mad, oh mygosh, it makes me mad, but I
(35:36):
would never do anything about itpublicly or I would never do
anything.
And so I talk it out, I talk itout with my closest friends, I
talk it out with my family, Italk it about, I talk it with it
out with Kevin and we laugh.
I have one thing I have incommon Like one thing I have
that I'm so grateful for.
I have the best friends.
My relationship with my familyhas transformed 180 degrees.
My relationship with Kevin islike a rom-com.
(35:57):
We'd bug people if they couldsee the way we are.
But we laugh about it Likethey'll say something to me and
they'll just crack me up.
They know how to do it.
Like I need a state change.
You know we'll talk about itfor a couple of seconds but then
say something really sassy orsay something.
Kevin cracks me up Like nextthing.
I know I'm laughing, I'm crying, like I'm crying.
(36:18):
I'm laughing so hard.
So I think I just have theright circle around me also and
they know me, you know.
I think people around me alsoknow the amount of pressure I'm
under, knowing, like whensomething difficult like that
happens, I have I can't reallydo anything about it, and so
there's gotta be an outlet,there's gotta be a place to talk
about it.
And because of the way I handleeverything else in my life, I
(36:40):
have a really amazing supportsystem.
When something does isdifficult for me, they're right
there, and they're right therein the perfect way for me, and
we turn the page really fast andwe go back to business as usual
.
So I don't know if that answersthe question, but that's the
vibe.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
You can answer it however you want, that's
fabulous, okay.
Next question is where do youdraw the line between life and
coaching, especially when itcomes to what experiences do or
don't get shared?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
That's a really great question.
When I first started, I sharedeverything.
Like I just shared everything.
I used my social media like adiary, Like I just shared
everything.
I used my social media like adiary.
But something did start tohappen when I became more
successful.
When we look at, like the tallpoppy syndrome, the way you
explained it before, like peoplejust started saying really
awful things about things thatmattered to me a lot, People
that mattered to me a lot, justreally awful things about
(37:31):
people's appearance or how theysounded.
And I was like this nobodydeserves this.
Like that's not.
Then you don't get to see.
You don't just don't get to see.
And there was something reallypowerful about that experience
because I think I did eventuallybelieve that the fact that
people knew everything about mylife was what was helping them
choose me.
But I just kept doing the samethings in private, although they
(37:52):
didn't show up in public, andnothing changed.
And that's when I realized it'snot about what you show, it's
about what's true.
And so I've shown less of mylife than I ever have in the
last two years and people stillchoose me because the strongest
frequency on earth is thefrequency of truth.
So I don't share anything Idon't want to share.
I don't share anything becauseI have to.
There's times I feel likethere's lessons I want to share.
(38:12):
There's times I feel like Iwant to show a little bit, but
I'm so private in comparison towho I used to be because I don't
need to show any of it.
I don't need it for socialproof.
I don't need it for anything.
The fact that I lived itenergetically is enough.
The pathways are squeaky clean.
The people who are meant tofind me find me.
I don't need to prove any of it.
That's the best part.
Next question Thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
How do you design or craft your image?
I imagine that means brandingconsciously.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I think it's based on what I love.
Like I, I see beauty ineverything, and one of the
things I learned in my humandesign as I dove deep into it is
that beauty is an alignmenttheme for me, and I was like
gosh.
There's no stronger truth thanthat.
Like when I'm seeing somethingbeautiful, I'm inspired, I'm lit
up, and so I feel like what Ishow you is what I saw that took
(39:07):
my breath away, the things thatreally impacted me.
And I don't I don't, eventhough I speak a lot.
I prefer to have peopleexperience what I'm saying as
much as possible.
That's why I do the animationsfor the programs, and the
photography is a really big partof what I do.
Or my sales pages are likepoetry A lot of the times, like
(39:29):
I don't want to.
I don't want you to buy thisbecause of a logical thing I
want you to feel it in yourbones, and if you do, then
that's it.
I'll capture it in your bones,and if you do, then that's it.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I'll capture it in an image, in a video in a song, in
a poem, like you'll get it, andso I feel like the image of my
brand is basically the way Ilook at the world.
Great Last question Are you aunicorn?
Do you really believe that ifyou could do it, so can others?
Or is it a special calling onyour life?
Speaker 2 (40:00):
I believe that I became a unicorn because I did
what no one else was willing todo.
So I've seen people in mycareer that I was like if you
just did this, you would be it.
I watched them fight againstthemselves and I watched them
fight against others and Iwatched them get distracted by
the things that are hard and Iwatch them stumble with a
mistake and get caught up intheir pride and their ego and
(40:21):
get caught up in their oldidentity and then just sabotage
and then not do it and thenclaim it's because they can't or
they're not good enough and I'mlike, nope, that wasn't it.
I watched that happen and thatand this and that, and it's all
an internal game, and so we'reall special.
That's the thing.
Every single one of us has astory that could be uniquely
told, that could inspire theworld.
We've all been given veryunique pathways to impact people
(40:44):
, but what really makes you theunicorn is the fact that you do
it when no one else will.
A lot of people are visionaries, they have ideas, they have
thoughts, but to create thoughtinto tangible reality, you've
got to be one heck of a leader.
You've got to be strong.
You've got to be so strong onthe inside and we don't really
have great models to teach usthat Unless you had a genius
(41:07):
parent who's teaching usemotional regulation it's just
not even a part of the process.
So I feel like the fact that myjourney led me down the path
that it did made it that I justdid what I needed to do, and my
goal and my desire with AlphaFemme is to create an incubation
where you come in and I helpyou grow your unicorn.
(41:27):
You know your your specialunicorn horn or your wings or
like I want to.
I want to help you do thethings no one else is doing.
I want to help you go beyondthe fears where everyone else
doesn't.
I want you like that's.
What makes you special in theend is that you do it when
others won't.
So we all have the potential todo it, but the unicorns are the
ones who do with theirpotential.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Thank you, and thank you to everyone who supplied
those questions.
They were great.
Melanie, I've got one lastquestion.
It's kind of the theme thatI've been asking a lot of people
that come on lately, but I wantto open up.
Is there anything else on yourheart that you would like to
share with the listeners, theviewers?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
The one thing that came up when you asked that is,
I would love to redefinepersonal development.
I think, at the very core, alot of people take personal
development to prove that theyare changing, to prove that
they're working on themselves.
They do it for other people,they do it to try to be better,
as if they're not good enough.
Instead of realizing, whoever,mother nature, god, the universe
(42:32):
, has whispered truths down intohuman ears that some people
have heard that, if we want, wecan listen and change our life
experience because we want.
We're not not good enough.
If we don't do it, there'snothing wrong with us.
We're not a better person if wedo it like better than another
person.
We just get to experience adifferent kind of life, one
(42:56):
where maybe we have what otherpeople think is unicorn powers
or superhero powers.
We get to have shortcuts wheresome things take a long time
because we're willing to rely onvery interesting laws that most
people don't even know about.
We're basically going andlearning something because we
want to, because there's a partof us that says you know what?
(43:18):
I think I do really well withthat.
I want that experience, I wantthat to be who I am, and so it's
not a.
It's not a validation thing orsomething you wear as a badge of
honor.
As a matter of fact, doesn'tmatter if you don't tell anyone
at all.
And this is the biggestbreakthrough I think I've really
found in this personaldevelopment journey is that it
changes you so deeply that evenif you didn't tell a person
(43:38):
about it and you just lived byit, your life would change.
Don't do it for show, and thepeople who do it for show are
the ones who make it look cheesy, who make it sound so la-di-da.
There is no simpler thing thanthis work, and if you do it for
you, your life is just greater.
Your life, your experience ofyour life is greater for it.
(44:02):
And so anything you've listenedto today like I just hope it
goes through the filter, not ofI think you should do it, or if
you don't do it, there'ssomething wrong or something
like that.
Like everything I'm saying hereis just the facts of what
happened when I did and what myhopes are for humanity and the
way that I bring personaldevelopment forward and hopes
(44:22):
that I can really bringsomething to the public that is
maybe not even understood inthis way yet, like to
revolutionize people'sexperience of this work so it
can be taken in in a reallyself-constructive way.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Thank you so much for being with us.
I've got one more question.
Yes, it's a hundred years time.
Yes, a hundred years away.
What would you like to beremembered for and what would
you like to see in the world asa result of your work?
Today?
Speaker 2 (44:53):
This is the best question I would love oh, that
makes me emotional.
I would love that in personaldevelopment rooms, when people
talk about their lineage, theytalk about how proud they are of
their mothers.
I would want mothers, I wouldwant daughters, to be talking
(45:14):
about how grateful they were fortheir incredible mother to be
sharing stories of their lineageagain, to be sharing stories of
their ancestors again, to befeeling like they're part of a
lineage they don't need to runaway from or escape from or save
the future from that.
They're actually on a journey ofpassing the torch and passing
(45:38):
the baton down their lineagefrom something they're proud of,
that they're equipped alreadyand they're looking for even
greater ways, not becausethere's something wrong, but
because they know what, likecultivating, thought about this
work can do.
And they're interested ingrowth because why not?
Not because something's broken,but because they have evidence
(45:59):
of what can be built.
And I would love for I wouldlove if alpha fem's teachings
like if being an alpha fem meansthat being an alpha fem means
that you're the grandmother theytalk about the mother they talk
about Not in therapy becausethey need to understand why you
(46:20):
did what you did, but inself-development, as they
celebrate the path.
You lit for them and that's theAlpha Femme way.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Wow, I love that You've thought about that a lot.
Wow, I love that You've thoughtabout that a lot.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
I just feel like in a lot of the rooms that I lead,
the conversation leads back topeople who think their mothers
didn't love them, who think thatit was hard growing up, that
it's hard to be a woman, thatit's unfortunate to be a woman,
that things have happened tothem that no one protected them
from.
That life happened to them in away they weren't prepared for
(47:00):
that.
They still have so many oftheir childhood wounds and
they've never worked throughthem and the responsibility of
their still-wounded parents andgrandparents are still on their
shoulders and they can't escape.
They still feel traumatized byhow they can and can't behave.
They're still afraid of notfitting in or being told off,
even in their grown adult ages.
(47:21):
Like there's a rite of passagemissing.
There's something missing incivilization as it is and
there's not.
It's so rare that someone comesinto my world and celebrates
their mother.
It's usually they've got toheal because of that
relationship.
And what would it look likethree generations down if the
grandmother, the mother and thedaughter were a lineage that was
proud to bring someone new intothe world with nothing to fix,
(47:45):
with more of an extension,energy, and we could do that.
We could do that in onegeneration.
We could Just like that.
We change the future, just that.
Oh, I love this.
Thank you, you for askingquestions a really great
question.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
Thank you, I really appreciate your time and I I
can't wait to show you off to myworld.
I'm good at showing off otherpeople, um, but thank you so
much for your time, your wisdom,and I can't wait to see more
and more of the impact you haveon this planet.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
That means the world.
Thank you so much, and thankyou for having me.
I've really enjoyed everyminute of this.
Speaker 1 (48:32):
I love this.
I learned things from you thatI haven't heard elsewhere.
Well see, that's the beauty ofyour question.
Yeah, thank you.
Well, hello there, I'm Marilyn.
Welcome to my show.
Today I'm talking with the oneand only Melanie Ann Lea.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
It eased when I realized that I was Alpha Femme,
when I realized I don't need toworry about what I'm going to
be when I grow up.
I love who I am.
If I was this for the rest oftime, I'd be proud.
I don't need to think about thefuture anymore.
That was a really cool momentto think about the future
anymore.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
That was a really cool moment.
Melanie is the brilliant mindbehind Alpha Femme, a global
brand she built from humblebeginnings to a multi,
multi-million dollar coachingcompany.
Her revolutionary teachings areabsolutely transforming how
women lead their lives andbusinesses worldwide.
Let's dive in.
Melanie and Leah,affectionately known as Lenny,
welcome to my show.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
It is an honor and I am sohappy to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I have to say I found you, or I should say I
manifested you, because a fewyears ago I really was
struggling with and I use thatword on purpose with the whole
formulaic, probably masculineside of especially online
business and my heart was saying, please, I want to see examples
(01:14):
of people doing it their way,doing it differently, and is it
possible?
And you came into my life and Ihave thoroughly enjoyed
allowing you to just completelychange the way things are done
for me and show that example.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Thank you.
Well, that is brilliant.
I am so happy and it makes myday to hear that.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I'd like to start with, not your signature story.
I think if the listeners, ifthe listeners want to, you know
they've never heard of you andthey'd love to know the story
about you know, living out ofyour car, all of that just do
some research, go research yourpodcasts, search in Melanie, ann
(01:59):
Lay or Alpha Femme and you willfind plenty of ways that she
tells that story.
And what I love about you,melanie, is you do tell it
differently every time.
You keep it fresh.
But we're not going to go theretoday.
I would like to know.
You were thrust intoresponsibility at a very young
age.
You were asked to help yourparents financially.
You looked after your siblingswhich were a little bit younger
(02:22):
than you.
What did baby Melanie, what didyoung Melanie want to do when
she grew up?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
It's so funny because I just remember wanting to be
an artist, like an illustratoror something Like.
I loved performing, singing, ahyeah, but I also knew that that
(02:51):
would be completelyunacceptable.
So from a very young age I hadno idea what I should do,
because I had two ideas and Iremember my dream was to be a
singer and to just be able to becreative.
But then if I couldn't do that,I wanted to be a criminal
lawyer and my dad didn't want meto.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Wow, how young were you?
When you remember thinking thatVery young.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Very young.
Yeah, I remember a girl atschool was going through
something really terrible.
Something had happened to hersister and they had managed to
catch the bad guy and, thinking,like, I want to be the person
that catches the bad guy.
And the year after thathappened in school, in one of
the projects we were given atschool, there was this whole
thing where we had all theseclues and we had to figure out
(03:39):
what had happened.
And I was obsessed with theschool project.
I got the best grades I'd evergotten in any project of my life
and all I could do is thinkabout it.
And I was obsessed with theschool project.
I got the best grades I'd evergotten in any project of my life
and all I could do was thinkabout it.
And I just remember telling.
So I'd already told my dad Iwanted to be a singer, which he
had said you can't do that.
And then I also told him thenfine, if I can't be a singer,
then I shall be a criminallawyer.
(03:59):
And he was like no, you can'tdo that either.
He was like you don'tunderstand the danger you'll be
putting yourself in.
He sold me all against it.
So I really did not know what Iwas going to do.
Apart from the things I wantedto do, I just know that.
I just knew there was somethingI should be doing, that I
didn't know what.
So from a very young age I feltthe stress of not knowing what
I should be.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
When did that stress ease?
When did that?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
stress ease.
I think it eased when Irealized that I was Alpha Femme,
when I realized I don't need toworry about what I'm going to
be when I grow up.
I love who I am.
If I was this for the rest oftime, I'd be proud.
I don't need to think about thefuture anymore.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
That was a really cool moment.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And that would have only been a few years ago,
really.
Oh yeah, like 2021.
Like when I really thought tomyself I don't need to think
about what I want to be when Igrow up anymore.
I remember, probably aninterview I had at some point in
2021 made me realize that,where it was like someone had
asked me what do you want to donext after this?
And I was like I just see thisin different iterations, I see
(05:11):
this on a greater scale, I seethis with maybe plus being an
author, or and I see this plusbringing back all the things
that I love.
I've been able to sing again.
I've been able to do the thingsthat I really love as passions.
I've actually brought backeverything, and it's been wild
to see how much of the passionsI originally had have held their
place here.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Did you have a sense at a young age that you were
born for something unusual orgreat?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
No, I really just hoped I could make my parents
proud.
That was really all I reallycared about at that point.
That was really my mostimportant thing.
I wanted them to be so proud ofme.
I just remember that beingreally the measuring stick for
almost every decision I evermade until I was about 25 years
old.
What's your?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
thoughts on that sort of bigger calling of leadership
that you know you are movinginto.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
It really feels like and it's something interesting
because you said at times peoplehave told you leadership is
really only something that youwould do inside of a marketplace
or inside of the workforce.
It's not something that youwould do for individuals.
But the thing is the rise ofthe entrepreneur.
It's a real thing Like more andmore people are becoming
self-made, self-led.
If they don't have leadership,they can only go as far as their
(06:22):
own capacity to lead themselves, which for most people, isn't
even beyond their own noses.
So they've got big dreams,they've got visionary dreams,
but in reality, they're notmaking any of those dreams
manifest because they can't leadthemselves to the execution.
And so what I'm really seeingis that this isn't teaching
leadership, it's leadingleadership.
It's not a concept.
The people who are drawn tothis with me are very aware that
(06:47):
if they don't lead themselves,their dream isn't going anywhere
.
And so it's like the mostincredible thing, because I'm
not teaching leadership.
That's not even how I feel.
I feel like I'm leadingleadership.
I'm saying let's make your lifewhat you want it to be.
What do we need to move?
What's stuck?
What's not moving?
Where are you afraid?
And it's causing you to notlead yourself?
Where have you got to block, inwhatever area.
Whether you want to create amulti-million dollar business,
(07:07):
whether you want to create afamily dynamic that's beyond
anything you were ever shown,whether you want to change
generational wealth in yourfamily, whether you want to lead
a movement or a paradigm shifton earth, it doesn't matter what
it is.
If you can't lead yourself andthen other people, nothing
changes.
And so there's a lot of peoplewith big dreams right now, but
not a lot of people with bigresults.
So leadership is the catalyst,the gateway to that, and what I
(07:30):
kind of see is that at any agewe have stories about what we
can and can't do.
I remember being 25 andthinking I was too old.
I think about that, I laugh,but it was like my life's over.
A lot of my friends weregetting married and having
babies and I was sleeping in thefront seat of a Honda Civic.
Like my life was ruined.
I was 25.
It's like we don't realizeyou're not too young.
(07:54):
And then I have women in theirforties, fifties telling me I'm
too old.
I'm like have you lost yourmarbles?
You're not even in your primeyet.
Like, keep moving, you know.
And so I feel like age reallydoesn't matter and I think that
if I could, if I could lead froma younger age, then I'll be
(08:14):
able to lead well into my quoteunquote old age, it won't matter
.
I think I want to defy that.
I want to defy time andeverything that I do and how
long things take and how earlyis too early and too late is too
late.
I want to redefine all of that.
So I think it'll be a coolthing for me, when I'm 100, to
be leading people into thefuture, knowing I've been doing
that since before people eventook me seriously.
Who?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
inspires you as a great leader, dead or alive, or
even fiction.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Oh my gosh, I have so many people.
Every single story of likethrough adversity into triumph
has been my bedtime stories.
You know, along my journey,anyone from the Beatles, who
were told they couldn't sing, toMeryl Streep, who told she
wasn't pretty enough fortelevision, to Oprah, who was
told she only didn't have whatit took to even be on the radio,
(08:59):
who then ended up having herown channel to you know, martin
Luther King, having our ownchannel to you know, martin
Luther King to it doesn't matter.
Like any leader that had to gothrough or was faced with
extreme adversity always remindsme I haven't seen anything yet
of how hard this could be.
This is still easy enough tonot give up, no matter what I'm
going through.
Like these people have inspiredme so greatly on my journey,
(09:22):
and what I've really seen islike leaders make history.
Like you want to remembersomebody, you remember the
legends, the legends of peoplewho made history and they led in
some sort of capacity.
And so, for me, the people whoinspire me the most are the ones
who've led some kind ofprogress or change on the planet
and have a story about how itwasn't in the cards for them,
(09:42):
how they had to stand forsomething or stand against
something, despite the odds, andmade a difference.
Those are the people thatreally matter to me in my
journey the most.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
What breaks your heart most about the world right
now?
What would you change?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know, I just feel like with social media, it's
such an incredible gift.
Social media is such anincredible gift.
Social media is such anincredible gift.
It gives us an opportunity toconnect to people all over the
world.
It gives us an opportunity forpeople to have a real voice and
for us to share like a wholeother renaissance, Like last
time there was a development incommunication the world totally
(10:20):
changed.
So if people really listened tohow similar we all are, if we
all really just talked andreally listened to each other, I
feel like this social mediaplatform could be
revolutionizing humanity.
But instead, because so manypeople are conditioned for
validation metrics, it's becomean opportunity for validation
(10:40):
instead of an opportunity forlearning.
People aren't looking to seewhat they don't know.
They're looking to get likes onwhat they do know.
They're looking to find thepeople who agree with them.
They don't want to bechallenged, they don't want to
evolve, they don't want to grow,and I think the superficiality
of social media and how a lot ofthings are just to be liked
instead of to make progress orto make something amazing happen
(11:02):
.
I think that's my biggestsadness right now the online
bullying and the hate andganging up on people.
It's so easy online.
I think it's really unhealthyand I love social media.
I see such an incredibleopportunity.
It would be much easier if Icould just hate it and say let's
not use it anymore.
It's so toxic.
(11:22):
But the fact is, I see thepotential and I just wish I
could inspire people to want touse it differently.
But it's a big.
It's a big request, it's a bigask.
And the fact is, social mediahas been built in very addictive
ways.
You know, with this likeintermittent rewards of people
seeing your story and peopleliking your stuff and then all
of a sudden you're invisible.
And then you write one post andit barely gets nothing, but the
next one gets a bunch of likesand people are constantly
(11:45):
chasing that.
Am I being seen?
Am I being valued?
Instead of I'm saying what I'vegot to say and whoever will see
it will see it.
But I'm saying what I've got tosay.
I'm building my voice Like.
I care much less about theimpact my voice has today.
I care a lot more about whatthe impact of my voice will be
in a decade and two decades fromnow.
So who cares about how manylikes it's getting now?
What I care about is that themessage is squeaky clean and
(12:07):
that I'm building something thatyou know in a decade from now.
If I want the world to hear it,I can make it around the world
that I'm focusing on the biggerpicture.
I wish more people understoodthey could do that.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Related to that is the tall poppy syndrome.
Are you aware of that phrase?
I have heard this phrase.
Yeah, it's very much anAustralian thing where we cut
down people who rise above,talented people, people doing
great things.
(12:38):
What's your take on that?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
that, when people do want to rise or are rising,
whether it's in sport, whetherit's in business, whether it's
in arts, there is this wantingto cut down and we see it in the
social media all the time isthat people have this false
(13:04):
pedestal thing they do withpeople who succeed, where they
imagine that in order for themto have become successful, they
must have pulled the wool overeveryone's eyes and pretended
they were perfect somehow.
And they think they candisprove their talent, their
leadership, their grit by justfinding a flaw.
(13:25):
I think if they find enoughflaws they can disprove the
beauty.
But like that's not how itworks.
I think the maturity isunderstanding.
Everyone has an imperfect side.
All human beings are imperfect.
Everyone sees themselves attheir worst in their lifetime,
but not everyone gets to seethemselves at their best.
(13:46):
Not everyone has the disciplineto go find out what they're
capable of.
So when you see someone who'sreally doing something
extraordinary, they didn't dosomething extraordinary because
they pulled the wool overeverybody's eyes that they were
perfect.
They did it because, in theface of everything that was
imperfect, same as everybodyelse, they were still able to be
disciplined enough to go findsomething glorious.
And so the thing I believe withthe tall poppy syndrome, as you
(14:11):
explain it, is that people arewanting to cut people down back
to being normal.
The fact is they are normal.
It's just on top of theirnormal they built extraordinary.
No-transcript, pointless.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Speaking of being human, what do you still find
really hard now?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
still find really hard now no-transcript, the one
that would watch other peoplethat succeeded and genuinely
thinking to myself gosh, imaginebeing that person.
Or gosh, imagine being able todo that.
Or gosh, and those people notfeeling quite as human as my mom
(15:27):
or my aunt or my friend, likethey were a persona more than a
person.
I remember that feeling towardsother people, of it being like
they had transcended outside ofnormal humanity into this iconic
status.
Yeah, when they were beyond justa person.
(15:48):
They were now they made it,type kind of thing.
And it always blows my mind,being a person, that I know some
people look at me like thatsometimes and how much of a
human I really am and just beinglike gosh.
If there was a way for me tojust like I don't know how but
lend you my brain for fiveminutes just so you can see what
(16:11):
I'm trying to tell you.
Like we have it in us right nowto become successful, it's just
we have to put down all thethings that separates us from
the people who are.
We've got to create proximityto the people who are successful
.
That's why all those that cutpeople down push them away.
It's like they're having aworse experience of it all
because of that.
(16:32):
Like the proximity to power, theactually being able to say like
that's my mentor, that's myfriend, that's I know this
person, instead of like there'sa girl on the internet, I heard
this one podcast interview.
It's like it's beyond that.
You could be listening to thisand we would just be talking
like Marilyn, I could just bespeaking on on the couch.
Like it's not about who, it'slike there's just people talking
(16:56):
and if you can connect somehow,if you can be like a woman I
know this person, I love thisperson, I care about.
If you can find the proximity,if you can decide that you
belong.
All of a sudden all the codesbecome so much more transferable
.
People are just choosing peopleto learn from, like teachers at
arm's length, instead of comingin with that mentor energy,
that real like devotion to aperson, like a friend you lock
(17:19):
arms with and go the distancewith.
And I feel the craziest thingis how much I realized there is
a veil or a thing in the way ofme and people I never thought
could be there.
Because there was a time, fiveminutes ago, that I had to try
to explain that I was goodenough.
And now I have to time fiveminutes ago that I had to try to
explain that I was good enough.
And now I have to explain I'mhuman.
I don't know where that linegot drawn, where, where.
(17:42):
One day it was like, well, youknow, you're just a human, what
makes you good enough to saythese things?
And now it's like, well, yeah,but you're super human, Of
course you know these things.
And it's like no, no, no, no,no.
Let's go back to the fact.
Let's go back to the firstthing that was easier to prove.
It was easier for me to provethat I was good at this than for
me to prove that I'm human,like that is the weird thing to
try to prove that I'm normal,that I'm exactly the same, that
(18:03):
if you listen to this, we'regoing places like that's.
The most challenging thing isto know and to experience myself
as not quite normal to people.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
That's weird because that can cause a disconnect with
us and we don't see, we almost,like, put a gap between us and
the person we admire and itfreezes us in being able to go.
Well, there goes me as well, Ican do that.
So, yeah, you have a lot ofsayings, little short, pithy
(18:38):
sayings that really arememorable.
I've been thinking about thosea lot and I have a collection of
them in my notes.
They aren't just clevermarketing statements, they have
personal meaning to youstatements.
(19:00):
They have personal meaning toyou.
Do you mind if I read out someof them and you give very let's,
do it quickly, give me quicklythe abridged version, the origin
story, but also the personalwhy?
Because I think they're and Ithink I'm right that've started
for you.
First.
They've been a personalaffirmation to lift you up.
You ready, I'm ready.
(19:22):
Let's go to probably one of themost famous one Pineapple
season is coming.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Oh my gosh.
So this one was in 2019.
I was in Hawaii with Kevin andwe went to the Dole Pineapple
Plantation because Kevin lovesto do touristy stuff whenever we
go to a new place.
And we went on this Dolepineapple express, which is a
little train that takes you allthrough the pineapple fields.
And as we're on this pineappletrain and Kevin's all giddy
because he loves this stuff, allof a sudden this little voice
(19:49):
comes to the speaker of thetrain and they're explaining to
us how pineapples grow.
And this, this guy on the train, the automated voice, is
explaining pineapples take 18months to grow One pineapple per
plant at a time when the firstpineapple is ready to be picked,
it's picked, and then thesecond one takes up to a year to
grow and then that one's pickedand then we take out the whole
(20:14):
plant and plant a whole new one.
I'm listening to this.
I did not know that thatpineapples were one fruit per
plant and it takes 18 months.
It takes longer to grow apineapple than a baby.
I started thinking to myself.
I wonder who the first personwas that ever planted a
pineapple and thought what theheck's wrong with these seeds.
Nothing's growing 18 months.
(20:34):
On the drive back from thepineapple fields back to our
home.
We were listening to music andI just got this feeling to write
this text.
And as I started writing it,one of the sentences I wrote was
we sometimes question thetiming of the universe.
We think things should happenfaster than they're happening.
But what if mother nature, god,the universe, heard us and they
(20:58):
received the seed and the waythat we plant, the thoughts and
the way that we water them, like?
That's the soil that we plant,it's the seeds that we plant,
it's the watering of the plants,the trust, it's the faith.
What if everything has itsaligned harvest time?
What if the things that we'veplanted are on their way?
(21:20):
What if golden fruits withcrowns are worth being patient
for?
Pineapple season is coming andI've just kept that in my mind
always.
Like people could be a radish,I could meet a person today that
ends up being my best clienttomorrow or in three days from
now.
But also, sometimes pineappleseason is coming and I meet a
(21:41):
client and it takes them a yearand a half before they decide.
I'm the one.
And is it worth still wateringand still tending to the soil
and still making sure they geteverything they need.
Yes, it is, and so, from takingthat on, pineapple season is
coming in 2019.
The AlphaFem brands generatedover $85 million in pineapples
in people that took their owntime and it's been a beautiful
(22:02):
mantra for me.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Do you take a lot of pressure off you at that
particular time?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah, and I think a lot of my work has to do with
energetics like feminineenergetics and masculine
energetics.
And it's like you plant theseed.
That's masculine energetics.
You make sure the soil is goodit's masculine energetics.
You water the soil a certainamount.
That's masculine energetics.
You choose the location to makesure that they get enough sun
it's masculine energetics.
But then you can't touch theplant at all.
(22:29):
You can't uproot it to makesure the seed's okay.
You can't check on it, youcan't make it grow fast.
Yeah, you can't do anything toit other than lean back and
trust and faith and let the sunand the rain do its magic.
And that's so much of what Iteach in alpha femme is we've
got to do the masculine energythings.
But then we have to have thefaith, the inner capacity, the
(22:50):
regulated nervous system to beable to have faith and trust in
the timing of things and peopleand to not need to control every
outcome or else we burn outLike this is what happens.
It's the story of every woman'slife.
They come to me I did it thesix-figure job, multiple
six-figure, seven-figure jobthen I burnt out.
Can I really do it another way?
And I'm like, well, yeah, butwe're going to have to build you
(23:12):
from the inside out in thefeminine kind of way, in the way
where you believe rain iscoming even when it's sunny, in
the way where you believe thatsun is coming even when it's
raining.
You have to have faith.
You have to be strong on theinside to handle fear and stress
and pressure very differentthan to push and force and do.
But it's a.
It's a similar kind of strengthbut it takes different skills.
(23:32):
And it's been wild what'shappened in my life since I've
really leaned into theseteachings and this way of living
really.
And pineapple season is comingis like the most beautiful
mantra for me, because itreminds me there's nothing that
I can force.
That will be better than whatthe real aligned timing is.
I can try to force a pineappleto grow faster if I want, but
nothing will taste sweeter thanthe one that grew in the
(23:54):
Hawaiian soil for 18 months inthe summer sun and the Hawaiian
rain and the tropical rain.
That's the one that'll tastethe best.
So just trust.
They're meant to grow that way.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Breathe that in, everyone, pause and really drink
that in.
It's so powerful.
Okay, the next one for me, foryou, for us.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
This is such a big one and there's actually a
couple of origin stories becausethe most tangible origin
stories I literally had thefeeling like write this down.
And I wrote it and I was like,well, this isn't new.
And it was like, no, like readit and I was like for me, for
you, for us, it's normal.
I always do things for me, forfor us, and I was like, no, read
(24:34):
it again and read it againuntil it hit me that I didn't do
things for me, for you, for us,I did things for you.
Common female problem.
Yeah, like, if people areanything like me, you, we think
that doing things for you isdoing things for us.
Yes, and we forget that doingthings for you, if it's
something that makes me happy,is something I do for me.
(24:55):
So if I do it for you, thenI've got to be happy that I'm
doing it, because if I'm happythat I'm doing something for you
, then there's an us.
If I'm doing something for youthat I don't want to be doing,
that I'm bitter about, then theus is being bruised every time I
do something for you that Idon't want to do.
And so that was one part of theorigin story is understanding
the nature and the importance ofjust doing things for you is
(25:16):
not noble, nor does it create anus, and I think the strongest
frequency in relationships isthe us frequency.
If you did something for me andI find out later you didn't
want to do it, I'm not evenhappy.
You did it.
I want to know that you did itand you wanted to do it.
I want to know that you careabout us, that you love us, that
you want to do things, us, we,us, together.
That's the frequency I careabout, and so that was a big
(25:39):
piece of the puzzle.
But the other part of it for mehas been, in win-win-win
situations, really looking foroutcomes and thinking in my life
when I've been the most hurt iswhen people have protected
themselves and killed therelationship for it, like they
weren't willing to stand for us.
They just needed to make surethey were okay, and so finding
(26:00):
the wisdom in saying, if I standfor us, if that's really what
I'm standing for, then the wayI'm going to make decisions and
the way I'm going to communicateis very different than if I'm
just standing for me, like if Igive everything to you that I
can until one day I realize thatit's going against me and then
one day I have to stand for me.
That's kind of the typicalconversation.
(26:20):
But what if it was us all along?
Then what would happen?
So it's that triple win for me,for you, for us, my joy, your
joy, our joy, my love, your love, our love.
You know my success, yoursuccess, our success.
And, fundamentally, wheneverything in my life was built
in that frequency, everythingstarted to skyrocket.
For the longest time it was likebeing a good person was worn
(26:43):
like a badge of honor, like Idid this for you, and it wasn't
until it was.
I love doing this for you,because I love us.
Right, that's what was missingall along.
It's not a badge of honor togive.
It's a gift you give yourselfand others for a relationship.
And if it doesn't feel like that, then it's not the aligned
thing to do, and so I feel likeI stopped over giving so much
(27:06):
because it's like, if I don't,if it doesn't make me feel good
to do it, it won't even feelgood for them to receive it.
So lean back, do less, but dowhat you do with all your heart,
and it's paid off every singletime, every single thing I've
done for me, for you, for us haslanded 100% of the time.
The things I did for them notso much.
Most of it went unnoticed,unappreciated, and I ended up
(27:28):
feeling bitter and upset anyway.
So this has been the frequencyfor me that has changed
everything as far as overgivingor being in my masculine
thinking it's feminine,energetics, being generous and
kind like things you thinkyou're being, when in fact
you're giving, you're overgiving to be liked, you're
trying to look a certain way,you're wanting to control
(27:50):
people's anger or upset feelings.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
It's actually all done in masculine a lot of the
times and the next statement isI am the one or the one who got
away.
Oh, this is a good one.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So this was.
I had been in a very bad cycleof dating where I kept choosing
people for the reason that Ithought if I picked someone a
little less fabulous than Iwished for, they'd be happy,
they'd be lucky to have me.
Less fabulous than I wished for, they'd be happy, they'd be
lucky to have me.
You know, if I picked someonethat was maybe a little less
successful, a little lesscharismatic, a little bit less,
(28:24):
whatever you want to call itthat they would be grateful to
have me and then they wouldn'tleave, which would hurt so much
more when they did leave,because inadvertently, of course
when you have a person thatthat chooses you because, and
only because, they think you'rea little bit less than you,
might not leave.
It's a question of time beforeyou run a mile.
And so that happened.
Um, and I think the beauty of itwas I realized through, you
(28:50):
know, a very big decision tochange my life, that I was so
afraid of just being alone.
I had, I had the story that ifI wasn't married by the time I
was 25, I was going to be aloneforever.
And I was 25 and sleeping inthe front seat of my car.
So we were there and I just hadto make the decision, like, I
am not going to make this happen.
(29:11):
I'm going to learn how to be anextraordinary partner.
And I'm just going to be anextraordinary partner, not
because I'm trying to keep aperson, not because I'm trying
to make them not leave me, notbecause I'm trying to prove
Anything, but because that's whoI am.
And if I do that, in the endI'll be the one, and if I'm not
(29:31):
the one, I'll be the one who gotaway.
And I did this forrelationships at first.
That was the way I felt onevery date I went on.
It was a first date and I knewI was going on this first date
and I will be the one or the onewho got away.
I enjoyed my date.
I was entirely myself.
I brought myself in my peak tothe date, not to try to prove
(29:52):
anything just because I'm eitherthe one or the one who got away
.
It gave me so much freedom inmy self-expression, in my
relationship with myself, andeventually I brought these
concepts to business.
Instead of it being like you'regoing to lose a client, the
clients are going to not hireyou If you mess up, you're going
to miss I was like no, I'm theone.
If they don't hire me, I'm theone who got away.
(30:13):
I'm the genius one.
I'm the one that's got so muchto offer.
I'm going to continue learningand developing my skills.
I will be the greatest coachmentor there is on this planet.
I will do everything I've gotin my power because it's who I
am.
So if they don't choose me, I'mthe one who got away.
I don't need to chase peopleand it changed my career
entirely to do that.
(30:34):
All my marketing advertising,everything I do is so different.
Most people come to me andthey're like you just don't have
that energy most people have.
When you're doing the thing,I'm like.
I know there's something deepinside of me that changed early
on in the journey and itaffected things on a very big
scale.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Brilliant.
Look, I've got probably 20 more.
I could say.
I'm just trying to think whichway will we go limited time,
knowing you were coming on?
I had some questions put to meby my listeners so I thought,
instead of sort of drawing themout, let's do them like in two
(31:13):
minutes and we'll do real, realquick, like quick draw.
All right, are we ready?
Yes, what do you do to elevateyour vibrational frequency every
day?
Speaker 2 (31:23):
I live my life the way I want to think about it
when I'm 90.
I take every day of my life andI think about if I were 90 and
I was given a chance to be 36today, what would I be doing
with my day?
I just I choose today would Iwould be doing with my day?
I just I choose today.
Like I got it today, like itwas a gift from the future I
gave.
I gave it to myself.
It's a gift, it's not forgranted.
(31:44):
What do I want to do today?
Immediately raises my vibe wow,wow.
How do you solve conflict withKevin?
My gosh, there really is not alot of conflict with kevin, like
there really just is noconflict with kevin.
Um, honestly, it's I, we careabout each other so much.
It's a for me, for you, for usrelationship.
(32:05):
The minute there's a feeling ofsomething, it immediately just
gets discussed like there's noconflict with kevin.
There's misunderstandings withke Kevin that get solved in
communication at light speed.
Was it always that way?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
That's my question.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
You know, when I first started dating Kevin, I
had been through the whole I'mthe one or the one who got away,
kind of thing, and a big partof being the one in my mind I
remember telling myself becauseI had made this list of like
what's my dream partner and howam I going to feel with this
dream partner.
And I wrote, made this list oflike what's my dream partner and
how am I going to feel withthis dream partner, and I wrote
(32:41):
this whole list.
And then I got this thoughtagain not mine, but it came
through my head and I knewlisten to this, this is an
important question.
I said I heard in my mind avoice say if this is what you're
asking for, who's that personasking for and are you that?
And it kind of hit me for asecond because I was like well,
let me go through these and see.
I want a person with a greatsense of humor.
Do I laugh?
(33:01):
I want a person that is kindand compassionate.
Do I respect that or do I stillchase that high from the bad
guy, the bad boy?
I want the person who caresabout their family.
But do I really want that or doI want someone who's going to
just swan off to Ibiza with mewhenever I want, like what's the
actual thing that I want?
And so I actually refined my mylist, and one of the big things
(33:24):
on my list was I don't want, Iwant a relationship where there
is absolute love, compassion andunderstanding, like I.
The picture I painted wasbasically there's no conflict,
and so it had to be.
Well, who am I going to be inthat then?
And so I can't be perfect.
I'm not going to not say whenthere's conflict, I've got to be
as honest as possible, but I'vegot to forgive quickly and I've
(33:48):
, and I've got to love more thanI want to be right, and I've
got it.
Like, there was a lot of thingsI realized I needed to work on,
and I worked on a lot of thosethings before I ever met Kevin
and that.
But the thing is, I manifestedthe one like, had I lost Kevin,
he'd have been the one who gotaway.
Had he lost me, I'd have beenthe one who got away.
He was everything I needed inorder to grow into the person I
(34:09):
wanted to be, and I waseverything he needed to become.
Like both of us just completedeach other, but it was.
We never played games and onething was for sure we were not
about to let each other go.
And I think when you know thatin a relationship, conflict
changes.
Unless you fight for funbecause you don't know your
worth and I had worked on thatyou know some people fight for
(34:30):
the high just to feel like theymatter.
I always knew I mattered withhim.
I think it was think it wasjust the perfect thing for us.
I can't say this was the casein my other relationships, but
with Kevin we've got it.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Do you ever lose your temper, and how do you deal
with it if you do?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah, I mean I've had some things that have happened
in my life that I just wonderhow anyone could possibly like.
I wonder how you, how youbecome more successful and deal
with some of the things LikeI've dealt with people's
character that's so intense andin the public eye, where you
know they may not have areputation they care about, and
so they're willing to say thingsthat never happened, in ways
(35:10):
that didn't happen, and they'llsay it loud as if it happened.
And I have to look at it and belike is there any way I can,
even is there even a way I canaddress this?
And it's like there isn't.
So I have to let a lie be a lie, spun in the worst way that
never happened and I have tojust let it.
And that makes me mad, oh mygosh, it makes me mad, but I
(35:36):
would never do anything about itpublicly or I would never do
anything.
And so I talk it out, I talk itout with my closest friends, I
talk it out with my family, Italk it about, I talk it with it
out with Kevin and we laugh.
I have one thing I have incommon Like one thing I have
that I'm so grateful for.
I have the best friends.
My relationship with my familyhas transformed 180 degrees.
My relationship with Kevin islike a rom-com.
(35:57):
We'd bug people if they couldsee the way we are.
But we laugh about it Likethey'll say something to me and
they'll just crack me up.
They know how to do it.
Like I need a state change.
You know we'll talk about itfor a couple of seconds but then
say something really sassy orsay something.
Kevin cracks me up Like nextthing.
I know I'm laughing, I'm crying, like I'm crying.
(36:18):
I'm laughing so hard.
So I think I just have theright circle around me also and
they know me, you know.
I think people around me alsoknow the amount of pressure I'm
under, knowing, like whensomething difficult like that
happens, I have I can't reallydo anything about it, and so
there's gotta be an outlet,there's gotta be a place to talk
about it.
And because of the way I handleeverything else in my life, I
(36:40):
have a really amazing supportsystem.
When something does isdifficult for me, they're right
there, and they're right therein the perfect way for me, and
we turn the page really fast andwe go back to business as usual
.
So I don't know if that answersthe question, but that's the
vibe.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
You can answer it however you want, that's
fabulous, okay.
Next question is where do youdraw the line between life and
coaching, especially when itcomes to what experiences do or
don't get shared?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
That's a really great question.
When I first started, I sharedeverything.
Like I just shared everything.
I used my social media like adiary, Like I just shared
everything.
I used my social media like adiary.
But something did start tohappen when I became more
successful.
When we look at, like the tallpoppy syndrome, the way you
explained it before, like peoplejust started saying really
awful things about things thatmattered to me a lot, People
that mattered to me a lot, justreally awful things about
(37:31):
people's appearance or how theysounded.
And I was like this nobodydeserves this.
Like that's not.
Then you don't get to see.
You don't just don't get to see.
And there was something reallypowerful about that experience
because I think I did eventuallybelieve that the fact that
people knew everything about mylife was what was helping them
choose me.
But I just kept doing the samethings in private, although they
(37:52):
didn't show up in public, andnothing changed.
And that's when I realized it'snot about what you show, it's
about what's true.
And so I've shown less of mylife than I ever have in the
last two years and people stillchoose me because the strongest
frequency on earth is thefrequency of truth.
So I don't share anything Idon't want to share.
I don't share anything becauseI have to.
There's times I feel likethere's lessons I want to share.
(38:12):
There's times I feel like Iwant to show a little bit, but
I'm so private in comparison towho I used to be because I don't
need to show any of it.
I don't need it for socialproof.
I don't need it for anything.
The fact that I lived itenergetically is enough.
The pathways are squeaky clean.
The people who are meant tofind me find me.
I don't need to prove any of it.
That's the best part.
Next question Thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
How do you design or craft your image?
I imagine that means brandingconsciously.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I think it's based on what I love.
Like I, I see beauty ineverything, and one of the
things I learned in my humandesign as I dove deep into it is
that beauty is an alignmenttheme for me, and I was like
gosh.
There's no stronger truth thanthat.
Like when I'm seeing somethingbeautiful, I'm inspired, I'm lit
up, and so I feel like what Ishow you is what I saw that took
(39:07):
my breath away, the things thatreally impacted me.
And I don't I don't, eventhough I speak a lot.
I prefer to have peopleexperience what I'm saying as
much as possible.
That's why I do the animationsfor the programs, and the
photography is a really big partof what I do.
Or my sales pages are likepoetry A lot of the times, like
(39:29):
I don't want to.
I don't want you to buy thisbecause of a logical thing I
want you to feel it in yourbones, and if you do, then
that's it.
I'll capture it in your bones,and if you do, then that's it.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I'll capture it in an image, in a video in a song, in
a poem, like you'll get it, andso I feel like the image of my
brand is basically the way Ilook at the world.
Great Last question Are you aunicorn?
Do you really believe that ifyou could do it, so can others?
Or is it a special calling onyour life?
Speaker 2 (40:00):
I believe that I became a unicorn because I did
what no one else was willing todo.
So I've seen people in mycareer that I was like if you
just did this, you would be it.
I watched them fight againstthemselves and I watched them
fight against others and Iwatched them get distracted by
the things that are hard and Iwatch them stumble with a
mistake and get caught up intheir pride and their ego and
(40:21):
get caught up in their oldidentity and then just sabotage
and then not do it and thenclaim it's because they can't or
they're not good enough and I'mlike, nope, that wasn't it.
I watched that happen and thatand this and that, and it's all
an internal game, and so we'reall special.
That's the thing.
Every single one of us has astory that could be uniquely
told, that could inspire theworld.
We've all been given veryunique pathways to impact people
(40:44):
, but what really makes you theunicorn is the fact that you do
it when no one else will.
A lot of people are visionaries, they have ideas, they have
thoughts, but to create thoughtinto tangible reality, you've
got to be one heck of a leader.
You've got to be strong.
You've got to be so strong onthe inside and we don't really
have great models to teach usthat Unless you had a genius
(41:07):
parent who's teaching usemotional regulation it's just
not even a part of the process.
So I feel like the fact that myjourney led me down the path
that it did made it that I justdid what I needed to do, and my
goal and my desire with AlphaFemme is to create an incubation
where you come in and I helpyou grow your unicorn.
(41:27):
You know your your specialunicorn horn or your wings or
like I want to.
I want to help you do thethings no one else is doing.
I want to help you go beyondthe fears where everyone else
doesn't.
I want you like that's.
What makes you special in theend is that you do it when
others won't.
So we all have the potential todo it, but the unicorns are the
ones who do with theirpotential.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Thank you, and thank you to everyone who supplied
those questions.
They were great.
Melanie, I've got one lastquestion.
It's kind of the theme thatI've been asking a lot of people
that come on lately, but I wantto open up.
Is there anything else on yourheart that you would like to
share with the listeners, theviewers?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
The one thing that came up when you asked that is,
I would love to redefinepersonal development.
I think, at the very core, alot of people take personal
development to prove that theyare changing, to prove that
they're working on themselves.
They do it for other people,they do it to try to be better,
as if they're not good enough.
Instead of realizing, whoever,mother nature, god, the universe
(42:32):
, has whispered truths down intohuman ears that some people
have heard that, if we want, wecan listen and change our life
experience because we want.
We're not not good enough.
If we don't do it, there'snothing wrong with us.
We're not a better person if wedo it like better than another
person.
We just get to experience adifferent kind of life, one
(42:56):
where maybe we have what otherpeople think is unicorn powers
or superhero powers.
We get to have shortcuts wheresome things take a long time
because we're willing to rely onvery interesting laws that most
people don't even know about.
We're basically going andlearning something because we
want to, because there's a partof us that says you know what?
(43:18):
I think I do really well withthat.
I want that experience, I wantthat to be who I am, and so it's
not a.
It's not a validation thing orsomething you wear as a badge of
honor.
As a matter of fact, doesn'tmatter if you don't tell anyone
at all.
And this is the biggestbreakthrough I think I've really
found in this personaldevelopment journey is that it
changes you so deeply that evenif you didn't tell a person
(43:38):
about it and you just lived byit, your life would change.
Don't do it for show, and thepeople who do it for show are
the ones who make it look cheesy, who make it sound so la-di-da.
There is no simpler thing thanthis work, and if you do it for
you, your life is just greater.
Your life, your experience ofyour life is greater for it.
(44:02):
And so anything you've listenedto today like I just hope it
goes through the filter, not ofI think you should do it, or if
you don't do it, there'ssomething wrong or something
like that.
Like everything I'm saying hereis just the facts of what
happened when I did and what myhopes are for humanity and the
way that I bring personaldevelopment forward and hopes
(44:22):
that I can really bringsomething to the public that is
maybe not even understood inthis way yet, like to
revolutionize people'sexperience of this work so it
can be taken in in a reallyself-constructive way.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Thank you so much for being with us.
I've got one more question.
Yes, it's a hundred years time.
Yes, a hundred years away.
What would you like to beremembered for and what would
you like to see in the world asa result of your work?
Today?
Speaker 2 (44:53):
This is the best question I would love oh, that
makes me emotional.
I would love that in personaldevelopment rooms, when people
talk about their lineage, theytalk about how proud they are of
their mothers.
I would want mothers, I wouldwant daughters, to be talking
(45:14):
about how grateful they were fortheir incredible mother to be
sharing stories of their lineageagain, to be sharing stories of
their ancestors again, to befeeling like they're part of a
lineage they don't need to runaway from or escape from or save
the future from that.
They're actually on a journey ofpassing the torch and passing
(45:38):
the baton down their lineagefrom something they're proud of,
that they're equipped alreadyand they're looking for even
greater ways, not becausethere's something wrong, but
because they know what, likecultivating, thought about this
work can do.
And they're interested ingrowth because why not?
Not because something's broken,but because they have evidence
(45:59):
of what can be built.
And I would love for I wouldlove if alpha fem's teachings
like if being an alpha fem meansthat being an alpha fem means
that you're the grandmother theytalk about the mother they talk
about Not in therapy becausethey need to understand why you
(46:20):
did what you did, but inself-development, as they
celebrate the path.
You lit for them and that's theAlpha Femme way.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Wow, I love that You've thought about that a lot.
Wow, I love that You've thoughtabout that a lot.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
I just feel like in a lot of the rooms that I lead,
the conversation leads back topeople who think their mothers
didn't love them, who think thatit was hard growing up, that
it's hard to be a woman, thatit's unfortunate to be a woman,
that things have happened tothem that no one protected them
from.
That life happened to them in away they weren't prepared for
(47:00):
that.
They still have so many oftheir childhood wounds and
they've never worked throughthem and the responsibility of
their still-wounded parents andgrandparents are still on their
shoulders and they can't escape.
They still feel traumatized byhow they can and can't behave.
They're still afraid of notfitting in or being told off,
even in their grown adult ages.
(47:21):
Like there's a rite of passagemissing.
There's something missing incivilization as it is and
there's not.
It's so rare that someone comesinto my world and celebrates
their mother.
It's usually they've got toheal because of that
relationship.
And what would it look likethree generations down if the
grandmother, the mother and thedaughter were a lineage that was
proud to bring someone new intothe world with nothing to fix,
(47:45):
with more of an extension,energy, and we could do that.
We could do that in onegeneration.
We could Just like that.
We change the future, just that.
Oh, I love this.
Thank you, you for askingquestions a really great
question.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
Thank you, I really appreciate your time and I I
can't wait to show you off to myworld.
I'm good at showing off otherpeople, um, but thank you so
much for your time, your wisdom,and I can't wait to see more
and more of the impact you haveon this planet.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
That means the world.
Thank you so much, and thankyou for having me.
I've really enjoyed everyminute of this.
Speaker 1 (48:32):
I love this.
I learned things from you thatI haven't heard elsewhere.
Well see, that's the beauty ofyour question.
Yeah, thank you.
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