The Mick & Pat Show - Life's Weird Thumb

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Ever wondered what happens when two friends share their most embarrassing health stories over exotic craft beers? This episode takes an unexpectedly hilarious and illuminating journey through the challenges of adult life, from medical mysteries to cultural observations.

The conversation begins with a tasting of Trve Brewing's "See the Moon" mixed culture ale – a beer so complex it delivers three distinct flavor experiences in a single sip.

When the discussion shifts to upcoming films like "Warfare" and "28 Years Later," the hosts examine what makes a war movie authentic versus propaganda, and why some horror franchises maintain their integrity while others falter.

But the episode's unexpected highlight arrives when one host shares his medical journey seeking treatment, an embarrassing condition into a universal lesson in men's health.

This blend of cultural analysis, personal vulnerability, and practical wisdom showcases why conversations between friends remain our most valuable source of both entertainment and education. Whether you're interested in craft beer, upcoming films, or finally addressing that health issue you've been ignoring, this episode offers both comfort and a gentle nudge toward better life choices.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome.
Welcome to the Mick and Patshow.
I'm Mick.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
I'm Pat.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
And thanks again for joining us again.
We always appreciate it.
I've received some veryencouraging feedback from the
last couple weeks of our contentand episodes and just happy to
be sharing our stories and life,and all that Even on a week
where, you know, I don't reallyknow what we're going to talk

(00:28):
about, until it happenssometimes.
And, pat, you brought somedelicious, interesting beers.
I actually have had thesebefore.
I think my buddy grabbed themfor my birthday or like the day
we were celebrating my birthday,but and we tried them, and

(00:49):
these are two of True Brewing,because we love True Brewing
here.
These are two of their likefancy bottled.
What is this, you think?
Oh, 500 milliliters, um, beers,but they're ones that they like
brewed in 2022 and sat in somekegs or food is.

(01:14):
See the moon, oh, and I gotboth.
See the moons I didn't get theother one oh, you got both
seasons all right well, I guesswe don't even need glasses, we
can just drink straight a hotbottle.

(01:36):
Yeah, um, this one is I'll saythis is really good and the
other one's really good, butthey're incredibly distinct from
each other.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
It's a mixed culture, ale which?
I don't know if I've ever hadone of those before.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well, I don't even know what that means, because so
many you could say a lot ofbeer is technically mixed
culture ale.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yep, yep, and I picked this one over the other
one because I can't remember theingredients.
This one's got the uh, jasmineflower and uh something hops,
that's a weird font but the um,the other one I forgot what it
said on it, but I was like I'mgoing with this one there is one
of them literally made mytongue numb.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Like it's one of the most oddest experiences I've had
with a beer like and, and bothof them have like three or four
distinct tastes.
Like you're gonna have animmediate taste and then a
middle taste, and then you'regonna have like a swallow and
the first breath you take isgonna taste like something else.
Um, it's pretty, it's prettyinteresting.

(02:39):
But uh, yeah, these are fromTrue Brewing.
I don't know if they've donethis before.
You know, like, if like this isa specific thing they're doing
all the time, part of me doeswonder if this is like a
revelation.

(03:00):
You know what I mean.
Because, isn't it like the greatdragon in revelations comes up
and swallows the moon?
I think you might be right yeah, so, and this is straight up a
dragon flying, breathing.
It's got some like sataniclooking horns and the beer is
called see the moon, so maybeit's like a reference to

(03:22):
revelation, but, um, anyways, uhyeah, it's pretty good, um, and
I'm stoked to see pat gothrough it because it was
definitely like a very uniqueexperience first time I had it.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
So um the uh.
The woman is, in revelation,depicted wearing the sun and
with the moon under her feet,but so, and I guess he's like,
has his mouth open at thebeneath the woman to catch the
baby.
So interesting.
Yeah, that's the uh um, the old, real revelation there well,

(03:57):
this, this dragon on here.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
It's holding hops and barley, yeah and Yep.
So I don't know if this is theone that's trying to eat Jesus,
um, but any news.
Uh, pat, I think you shouldcrack it open, all right,
because I really want to see youexperience.
See how it's pretty crazy, man.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
See the moon to the sink Is this is this beer legal
in all 50 states?

Speaker 1 (04:29):
It definitely has a strange, strange taste to it.
It definitely took me two orthree sips to really figure it
out.
Let's see.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
It's still carbonated in there.
That's good.
Oh, it smells good.
It does smell good, true man.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
I'm always excited for the true.
Those smells like come out likejust pure soda.
It's hard to explain like.
It's like a fermented soda beeryeah, that's, that's good.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Going through the, how many flavors are you getting
?
It's changing because it was atone point it was like I was
having a sour, I think that wasin the middle.
At the beginning it was like Iwas drinking a light summer beer
.
Then it turned into a sour andat the end it got kind of thick,

(05:23):
like that creamy, bready taste,you know.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
But I honestly don't know how they could do it like
how do you get those flavorsdistinctly, one after the other,
versus like them just all beinglayered on top of each other?
I don't know, that's.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
I like that.
The each other.
I don't know that's.
I like that the cultured ale.
It's good for your gut health.
Is this what we're doing?
This is healthy, maybe For theold belly.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
Anyways, should we give it a swish test?
We're not reviewing this beer,by the way.
Yeah, we're not reviewing thisbeer, by the way.
Yeah, we're not doing like aspecific brewery review, but
Might as well.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Might as well, do it.
Swish test.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
If you don't know what the swish test is, you take
about a tablespoon amount intoyour tongue I mean not into your
tongue, into your mouth and youlet it roll over your tongue,
go over.
You let it roll over yourtongue, go over the back, over
the sides, go under it, kind ofjust moving your tongue around
so it can get coated.
Then you start squishing sideto side and then you put all the

(06:32):
beer in front of your tongueand push it with your tongue
through the, the front teeth.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
It really aerates, it really foams it up, it brings
out all the flavors and pat islooking like he is going through
a lot of confusion right now itlooks like he is very confused
by everything he's he'sexperiencing which I forgot what
that taste is at the end kindof like a lemon drop, I think it

(06:59):
was like a.
It's like a.
Yeah, it has like a like this.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
It's not super sour, but it has this as it finishes
off it's, it's.
It's like is it a lemon drop?
Is that what it is I'm tryingto?

Speaker 2 (07:17):
figure out what that, that flavor is.
It's like it was confusing.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
It was very familiar, like the beginning is for sure
sweeter and the middle is likekind of floral ale you expect,
but that the end of it is like aweird total kind of mind f.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, it kind of makes my tongue numb.
That's what you're sayingearlier exactly.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah, yeah, getting on your whole tongue the other
one is like got mint in it.
I think it's mint in something.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
And that one is really numbing because of the
mint on your tongue.
But yeah, no, these it's a goodbeer, um anyways.
Uh, pat, before we started youwere saying you were talking
about this movie you've beenhearing a lot about, called
Warfare.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, yeah, we started.
You're saying you're talkingabout this movie you've been
hearing a lot about calledwarfare.
Yeah, and I think we should.
I think we should review it.
I've heard a lot of good thingsabout it because, like the guy
who came out with, I heard a lotof his friends pushing it like
out there, ray mendoza wrotedirect the film that's based in
the kind of uh, battle Ramadi,like 2007-ish I believe, which
would be like post the AmericanSniper story.

(08:31):
These guys were the ones thatcame in, actually after Chris
Kyle's team and all that left.
They came in right after.
So lots of like the you know,that Task Unit Bruiser group has
gotten a lot of recognition.
They got lots of podcasts,whatever out there.
Jocko's that, that uh testingand bruiser group has gotten a
lot of like recognition.
They got lots of podcasts,whatever out there, chaco's,
people like that.
And so the.
I've heard like those guys saylike this movie is awesome, you

(08:52):
got to go see it, right.
And then I was like you know,you hook, you help your friends
out, you tell people to go seeyour friends and movies, but
then there's been like other youknow people like I think, think
, uh, the biggest one I sawtoday that was like, oh, I need
to see this and then I was gonnasee it either way, but it's
like maybe we should do it for abruising reviews is because, um
, it was a critical drinker justcame out with the video and he

(09:13):
was like, yeah, this is it, andhe's critical of everything.
And he's, yeah, and he like he's, he's kind of to be fair, he
was critical of the last movie.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
That what's his name did?
Is it Alex Garland?
I can't remember if it's AlexGarland or not, but this is the
same guy who made Civil War,which I enjoyed Civil War.
I don't remember if you enjoyedit or not.
Did we do a bruising review onit or did we just briefly talk
about it?

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Is this one where it's just all about the
reporters?

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, it's following the reporters.
It's not about the reporters.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if I had known that goingin I've been happier versus like
I.
Just I thought it was going tobe war, War.
All the time and then it wasjust like, oh, the journalists
are the heroes of the day andI'm like thanks for, yeah,

(10:09):
sponsored this film, bro.
Like literally, he like did hereally?
I'm pretty sure this is one ofthe ones.
He was like, yeah, let's makethis one.
It's because, like, the pressis the press is good for you,
interesting, whatever.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
So anyways, kind of like my little side hair brained
dude, I liked I liked civil war, because there was like that
whole point where they couldhave just made the gun tubers
like the boogaloo boys.
They could have just been like,yeah, let's just show them
getting clapped.
And then the boogaloo boys won.
Dude, the boogaloo boys wontheir little skirmish and I was
like oof that I wonder how thatwent over with like advisors or

(10:36):
whatever.
You know what I mean.
Um, but uh, anyways, yeah.
So this is uh, apparently by himas well.
Is it Alex Garland?
I think it's Alex Garland, yep.
So I'm looking forward toseeing it and I've only heard
good things from friends who arenot huge movie people that went
and saw it, and also frompeople who are very critical

(10:59):
cinephiles and really enjoyed it.
So I think it's probably goingto be a home run, which is good.
We kind of enjoyed it.
So I think it's probably goingto be a home run, which is good.
We kind of need it.
We need another non-cringy,non-propaganda, just good
storytelling war movie, and Ialso watched the cast of the

(11:23):
movie breaking down a scene init.
And I think that really alsosold me on seeing it, because
the dudes that were in the castseemed very I don't know.
They seemed almost likestressed, still, oh yeah, like
they almost seemed traumatizedfrom like doing this movie.
Like doing this movie because Ithink I mean they did the

(11:46):
workout.
You know, they did essentiallythe full uh, um, black hawk down
routine of like training everyday together and doing the seal
training and getting into themindset of communications and
stuff, and um, they did a lot oftheir own stunts because they
were like no, like we can dothis now because we, we did the
training.
Like it's not like it is notlike they're doing crazy stunts
where they're like no, we can dothis now Because we did the
training.
It's not like they're doingcrazy stunts where they're

(12:07):
jumping down mountains orsomething.
But where they're just like allright, we're going to have a
grenade, come in the room,you're going to roll off the
table and kick it over, so thatway it covers you from shrapnel.
And Alex Garland, the director,was like yeah, this is a
nightmare, because these guysall wanted to.
Just they never wanted to stepoff set because they wanted to
stay in character and I wasafraid they were just going to

(12:28):
smash their arms you know likerolling off of a table onto a
stone floor or something andthen the other co-director,
co-writer ray mendoza.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
He was actually.
He was the seal that thestory's based.
Yeah, he was there, so I thinkthat helps like and it's
apparently, as far as I can tell, true story.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
But you know what?
They got me with Operation RedWing.
They got me with Lone Survivor.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Oh yeah.
So who knows what true storiesare?

Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, Did you not hear that Lone Survivor is
almost entirely fabricated?

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Yeah, lots of pieces.
What you're saying is, back inthe day, when you first saw it,
you're like this is legit.
And then now you're.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Now, I believe I believed it was legit until like
six months ago when marcuslatrelle went on the podcast and
just like was like he kind ofjust wanted to tear it down.
He's like no, that's true.
Like I pretty much just saidwhat they were telling me to say
, based off of what happened onthe operation because they
wanted to make a film in a bookand like use it as a media piece
, right, I was just like oh mygosh what.

(13:32):
And then like pretty much wentoff without like no real
coverage, like no one reallyflipped out about it.
I was like dude for the last.
Like 10, 15 years, people havebeen joining the military based
off of that story.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
I don't know, maybe sad yeah it was definitely one
of those ones where there was alot of extra um, well, I mean,
basically they took like ithappened, but then it kind of
didn't, though.
What I mean is like the peoplewho died died, like the people
who died died, and like the likethings have, like the, the

(14:08):
operators who died, the rescuethat came in to get them, like
all that happened, but then likeall the like Hollywood details
of it really didn't like playout that way, like yeah, and so
it was.
It would have been a fairlytragic, a fairly tragic, boring

(14:29):
movie of the version of you know, like yeah, he escaped, his
friends died were they alltogether the whole time fighting
it out or not?

Speaker 1 (14:32):
who we?

Speaker 2 (14:33):
don't know.
Yeah, then you know, was in avillage for a couple days till
he got rescued I think he wasstill there for like it was
actually like six months oh, andthat time he was there.
Yeah, he had like a longrecovery and then you know, with
um, and then, yeah, like youknow, the helicopters came in to
rescue it, like to find himmaybe, but then they did get

(14:54):
shot down, they all you knowpretty much all died and they
did all die, but like thathappened, but the yeah, the all,
the most the fighting andeverything, and that's you know
pretty well uh stories.
And have you have you seen,have you watched the um uh
footage from the other fighterspoint of view?

Speaker 1 (15:17):
I didn't know.
There was footage from thetaliban yeah that were there
during operational.
Yeah, oh, operation, right,yeah it's really it's pretty
rough.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
You just hear like you don't see any of the guys,
but you can hear them likeyelling to it.
You can hear the the guysyelling to each other, the seals
like yelling to each other,crying out for each other, and
then like less voice.
It like really you can justtell it's not going well over
there, it's not like thatopening scene where they just
start roasting me and then like,because then there is.

(15:47):
Then there's pictures theTaliban had of like of their
gear, of a tattoo that Dietz had, like that's what I confirmed
they had like all that stuff.
But they put all that stuff.
So there are some videos outthere of like Red Wings and it's
like classic, like full shakycam taliban.
Yeah, crappy footage but that'scrazy.
But the the most likedisturbing part of that is

(16:08):
listening to them like yell foreach other and they were like
they were pretty young.
They're like boys, you know.
I mean like they were men butlike they weren't.
You know it's weird now that,like you know, I mean they were
as far as they're pretty much intheir early 20s, right like I
think yeah, I think it will.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
I think marcus and axe were like approaching
approaching 30, but d dannydeets was real young.
Yeah, uh, I remember that.
But um, anyways, all I said umwarfare sounds exciting.
It's based on a true story.
If the you know, we'll see ifthe story's true.

(16:44):
But that's unfortunately whathappens when you cry a wolf it
always casts a shadow of a doubton stuff.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
So we'll see.

Speaker 1 (16:52):
But all I said, I'm excited, I kind of want to go
see it.
Everyone's saying to go see itand go see it in movie theaters,
not at home, because it's sounddesigned for cinema and so I
kind of I really want to do that.
I imagine it's going to be alot like a top gun right where
it's you know incrediblyexplosive echoing sound, for you

(17:18):
know 24 speakers yeah, I thinkit'll be a good one.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
So, yeah, I think, yeah, well, I want to catch it
in theaters before it's gone andwe talk about it on here.
I feel like it's those moviesit might be a movie that's like
the types of movies I like thathaven't been coming out for a
long time.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Whatever has been coming out, I'm not really sure
what to call it genre wise,genre suck it's just like direct
to streaming, I guess like youknow like designed for direct to
streaming stuff, you know somuch of what I've heard that's
come out is just like trash,dude, it's just like it's
forgettable, mindless, likegarbage.
Um, and I feel bad saying thatbecause I know a lot of people

(18:01):
are putting you know effort intothese things, but that's just
what I'm hearing.
I mean, I'm not even spendingmoney to go see any of this
stuff really anymore, right, andit is just crazy to me, like
when I see these reviewers thatyou know have their whole career
based on movies, and like it'sjust one after another after
another of them just being likedude, it's just slop.

(18:22):
Like they're literally makingthis movie, giving it a theater
release, but the whole movie isdesigned to be just saturday
afternoon netflix backgroundstream you know and like that.
That makes me so sad, because itjust makes you think like
there's nothing original in it,you know, and people are just
sleepwalking through theirperformances I think that's

(18:44):
where cgi has become the the bigcrutch of like yeah, part of it
being like uh, what did I watchthe other day?

Speaker 2 (18:51):
I think I watch heat you know and like and just like,
just like being like watchingone watching like a cars crash
together, whatever being likethat costs a lot of money.
That costs a lot of money, youknow, like every time versus
like now, like I'm so watchingval kilmer do the most perfect
reload mag changing, yeah, yeah,and so, like just watching all

(19:12):
that stuff, go it like,basically the.
What I was thinking was you, youdon't need a lot of money to be
creative, but when you havethese big budget films, really
big budget, and a lot's on theline for them and they're not
planning on it being a stinker,you have more skin in the game,

(19:36):
you have a bigger.
Hey guys, we only get one shotat this building coming.
This building's going to comedown.
You got to make it happen.
Say your line, look at thecamera, the level of
professionalism and dedicationversus like, we'll fix it in
post.
I saw a clip from a Marvel moviewhere they AI'd her voice, they

(20:01):
AI'd her mouth.
I think it was on Corridor Crew.
They didn't even need to cutback to her for the scene.
They could have just had herspeaking.
Oh, and I know, you know, andit's like they ai'd her mouth.
Talking was like what the heck?
Like why even bother?
Why even bother?
What was that?
That was like that.
So that kind of like mentalityis just like well, that's why

(20:21):
you're also gonna, so you're,you're going to get smaller
budgets.
Studios would be less risky.
Um, there's less, less at stake, you know, and so then it's
like then the creativity likeyeah, demand for it goes out the
window.
I think I like in some wayshave you heard about the
electric state?

Speaker 1 (20:41):
it was a movie that just came out on netflix that
the uh brothers, uh, russobrothers that did all the
avengers movies they uh, weretrying to make, essentially the
next big, oh, the chris prattone, yeah, franchise.
Chris pratt and millie bobbybrown yeah, oh dude, and it just

(21:02):
stunk like I didn't watch itbut it like it made no money
rotten tomatoes cost 320 milliondollars that's yeah, yeah, so,
yeah, yeah, like to that point,like the.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
That's where is there ?
Are these huge?
There are these huge ones wherethey are just throwing tons of
money at it and they're likedude, like I gotta imagine a
hundred million of that wasfunding the funko pops line and
all the other, like merchandisethat was supposed to make this
like something that everyonewanted to be a part of yeah,
yeah, the rotten tomatoes scoreon it was 15 even on like

(21:35):
audience and critics, or what um, let's see, I haven't clicked
on yet, but but I mean, that'sbrutal dude.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
It's hard to get like actually under 50%, like it's
pretty hard to get that bad.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah, it's bad man, and so I do think you have to
have a healthy pairing of it.
It's not just because you, like, are throwing hundreds of
millions at it, and it's alsonot just because you have like
the heart behind it, cause youdo have.
You have the Napoleon Dynamites, the $30,000 budget and, wow,
that really worked, you know.
But then also I'm thinking tolike the kind of the star Wars,

(22:10):
lord of the Rings, like thesewere cost a ton of money, but
the directors themselves, evenat that level of money they're
getting, they're getting, theystill have to like beg, borrow
and steal, scrounge for it, likereally work for it, go on set
for, like you know, freeze theirnuts off.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Like, freeze camera crews, stop, delay stuff.
What's crazy.
When you like, look at lord ofthe rings and like what the lord
of the rings would cost todayto do all three movies and how
much they made back versus whatelectric state costs, you know
what I mean.
Or like, or like some of theseother ones that are just like
and people are like oh well,it's, it's cheaper to do cgi

(22:54):
armies and it's like well, dude,yeah, the original-in painted
actor army duplicated over andover Right Size-wise.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
It wasn't a fake, it wasn't just slop, it wasn't two
fake guys that they then createdinto 10,000 things.
Yeah, and it was $94 millionwas the budget for Return of the
King.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
That's crazy.
That Return of the King was 94million and it's like, looks
that good.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
So, even like with inflation or change or whatever,
it still would not be even nearthis.
You know, maybe you know whatHollywood needs a little little
doge action, probably on some ofthose numbers.
Oh yeah, Like what's going on,but the probably on some of
those numbers too, like what'sgoing on?
Um, yeah, but the yeah.
So I feel like with this movie,uh, warfare one, I'm hoping
it's more of that.
You know, hey, however muchthey had to spend on and I was

(23:49):
like, hey, we really got to getthis right.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
We, we want to really do it, you know, and we'll see
yeah, I, uh, I think warfare ispretty legit too, because I
don't think it's trying to beany more than just this instance
.
What happened here on this oneday which is also why so many of
us love Black Hawk Down,because Black Hawk Down is

(24:12):
literally a 24-hour period, butwarfare is 90 minutes.
The movies are 90 minutes long,and so it's like it's all just
like happening now in the moment, supposed to feel like an
absolute heinous rollercoasterride that you can't get off of

(24:33):
and then it's over because theday's over, the event is done.
We don't, we don't go back tofollow these guys home and see
what their marriage life's like.
It's just like.
No, it was just about this oneday, which I think is honestly
what the military movie shouldbe.
I don't think I don't know wedon't need to see military

(24:53):
movies be biopics.
You know what I mean, becauseunfortunately, I think that's
the part, part of, like theamerican sniper movie that's, of
course, the weakest, in myopinion, is when they treat it
like it's a movie star by or nota movie star, but like a
musician biopic, where they'relike and here's him, not on tour
anymore and he's at home, andit's like they're juggling the

(25:13):
balance of life in this careerand this, like you know,
marriage and kids and stuff andfamily and I'm just like I don't
, I don't care if I'm beinghonest I don't care at all, like
yeah, you know what I mean um,uh, just move it to all three.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Lord of the rings trilogy was under 300 million to
make.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Each one was about 90 million I bet each one made
somewhere in the neighborhood oflike half a billion to a
billion.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
The trilogy made $3 billion worldwide.
Oh yeah, okay, all right.
So that's some ROI, right there.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
No kidding dude, that's why none of those guys do
anything anymore.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
It's like why.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Viggo Mortensen's like.
I'll just take supporting roleslike indie movies for the rest
of my life because I can dowhatever.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
I want.
Yeah, and so this electricstate one I mean, you said it
was, the budget was over$325,000.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Well, they're saying they've officially revealed that
it was at least $320,000.
But there's a lot of people whoworked on it apparently, who
have been doing some accounting.
Yeah, Like no, it's like$390,000.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
It's like holy good Lord, like three times more
expensive than the Lord of theRings.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
Oh my gosh dude, that is a lot of hookers and blow
for.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
Hollywood.
You know what I mean, and uh,and definitely not even going to
make that back.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
No, not remotely.
But and they don't even see itas a loss though, because,
believe, like you know, when,because of the subscription
model, it's like movies can failand like we just like we have
money coming in, you know.
So, anyways, it's all prettycrazy to me.
But, um, have you seen the uhtrailer for the new like uh

(26:55):
movie in the 28 days series?

Speaker 2 (26:58):
no, you know what, 28 days later is yeah, yeah, the
that, the spider one.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
No, no, no, that's eight-legged freaks which
eight-legged freaks is also areally not good movie like.
It's like not inappropriate,it's just not very good no, but
there is one scene in uh,eight-legged freaks, where
there's dudes on dirt bikestrying to outrun giant spiders

(27:24):
and it's awesome, it's likeworth watching that movie and
like the other 80 minutes ofgarbage for the five minutes of
that one scene.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yeah, I do know 20 days later.
It's like they came out thesame year.
That's why it's in my brainthat way.
Yeah, yes.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Alright.
So I got two trailers I'm goingto show you.
Alright, they're very similar,but one is like this classic one
that came out that is like tothe track called Boots and Boots
.
Let me look it up.
A lot of people have been usingit on, like, uh, instagram

(28:04):
reels and stuff like that,because, uh, it got very popular
, um, uh, from this, from thistrailer.
But it's like, essentially thistrack or song I don't even know
how to, I don't know how tolike even really describe it.

(28:27):
I guess it's, but it's like awar poem song from like way back
in the day, oh boot the poemBoots yeah, yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a 1915 recording of.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
RDR boot.
The poem Boots yeah, yeah, Iknow, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1915 recording of RudyardKipling's Boots, it's a World
War.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
I marching poem yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, but anyways they use this track for it,
right?
Oh really, because it's kind ofjust like how the zombies are
just the boots right, it's justmarching forever and marching on
, marching forever.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
So is this a sequel or a remake?

Speaker 1 (29:04):
So this is 28 years later, which this is why I'm
excited, right, because theoriginal 28 Days Later was
directed by Alex Garland.
That's like what got AlexGarland his career, his?
beginning if I remembercorrectly I'm double, I'm
checking no, sorry, danny Boyle,danny Boyle, alex Garland got

(29:27):
started with a different one,but then Danny Boyle did 28
Weeks Later, kind of I think Idon't know if he was still
director, was he still?
No, he wasn't, but he was aproducer for it, which he was a
lot weaker.
And then now there's 28 yearslater, which to me looks awesome

(29:54):
Because Danny Boyle's back todirect it and he's just done
good with a lot of other stufflike uh, did you ever see train
spotting?
Or slumdog millionaire, yes,slumdog.
So he's had producer anddirector roles in a lot of those
things.
Um, and I just think he'shonestly I don't know like he's.
He just strikes me as like oneof the best directors, kind of

(30:17):
in hollywood.
All like everything he touchesfeels pretty original.
Um, it doesn't feel to me likehe uh does like a whole lot of
copying, um, and like even hissequel.
So he did train spotting t2,which was like a interesting

(30:40):
like sequel to the originalTrainspotting.
The original Trainspotting justfollows like Irish druggies and
like just getting in over theirhead.
Ewan McGregor plays probablythe best heroin addict I've ever
seen on TV.
Oh, yeah.
And like he crushes it and it'slike the most classic, like
hectic, like British crime, youknow stress movie.

(31:01):
But he also did this movie,sunshine, which Sunshine was
like a really great horror moviewith, uh, killian Murphy as
well.
Um, uh, 127 hours.
That one was a pretty goodmovie.
He did the Steve Jobs movie aswell.
Anyways, so he's doing 28 yearslater and, as you would expect,

(31:27):
it's taking place 28 yearsafter the initial outbreak.
Right, that's kind of the wholepremise of these movies is that
this is is what's occurring, youknow, after this virus gets out
.
Um, and it was reallyinteresting.
Did you ever see the originalone?

Speaker 2 (31:47):
I never saw it no.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
So the virus escapes from animal rights activists
going into a lab and trying tofree the monkeys.
And the monkeys are alreadyinfected with the virus and they
bite one of the people and sothey run and leave Like no one
dies in the lab, but they'relike, oh shit, we got to get out
of here.
Well, they get out and they'vebeen bitten by the monkeys with
the rage virus and, of course,killian Murphy wakes up.

(32:09):
He's the OG, wakes up in ahospital.
It's before the Walking Dead,right.
So he wakes up in a hospital,looks around and it's gone right
.
Um, and so, uh, anyways, 20years, 28 years later, is uh
taking place after that?

(32:29):
Um, and it's got one of myfavorite actors, especially one
of my favorite british actorsnowadays, um, oh yeah, no, alex
garland is involved in this.
He's a writer.
Yeah, he's a writer.
Yeah, that's so sick.
Um, but uh, aaron TaylorJohnson.
I love Aaron Taylor Johnson.
He was originally kick ass and Ithink he's just crushed

(32:51):
everything.
He's in like I've never seenhim in a role where I thought he
sucked, like he was in.
He was in.
I'm trying to even think oflike a lighter movie he was in,
where he still I think he was inone of the newest Kingsman
movies One of the newer ones.
I thought he was good in that.

(33:11):
But he was also in the Tenantand his character was just like,
essentially, captain Price fromCall of Duty, like he just had
chops and a beret on.
Yeah, I was like badass dude.
He just like he didn't havemuch to work with there, but he
killed it.
Dude, he did a good job he wasin nosferatu also he was in
nosferatu as well.
Yeah, um, I thought he was greatin nosferatu.

(33:33):
I enjoyed his character anyways, but aaron taylor johnson
really enjoy him.
Uh, but these, uh, this, thesetwo trailers make me stoked,
because this still, even thoughthis is like a, this is the
third film in a series.
It feels very, very original tome.
Well, this is the third yeah,so there's 28 days later uh-huh,

(33:56):
first one second was 21, I mean28 weeks later, oh, which was
also still very original it justwasn't, it wasn't enough time
had gone by, or something no itjust wasn't delivered by the
cast.
Well enough, jeremy renner is init and he does a pretty good
job, but like even then youcould tell it's like an early
career thing for jeremyner tooand it's just not as delivered.

(34:20):
Acting wise, as like the firstone was.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
But it was still a really good, like unique take
like 28 weeks later was like,okay, people are now coming back
to England because, like we'vecreated a quarantine zone and we
can have like normal societyagain, and of course, people
mess it up and they get getinfected in the quarantine zone,
and it was.
It was pretty cool because itjust shows like a government
who's like all right, scrap it,kill them all again, and like

(34:48):
they just start killingeverybody in the quarantine zone
.
But all right here.
So I'm gonna, I'm gonna turn itso you can watch too.
But, um, this is uh, 28.
This is the first trailer thatcame out like four months ago.
That got me super stoked for it.

(35:13):
What's going on?
Do me sit, still, keep quietand do not move from this spot.
Seven, six, eleven, five, nineand twenty miles today.

(35:46):
Four, eleven, seventeen, thirty, two the day before.
Boost, boost, boost moving upand down again.
There's no discharge in the war.
Don't, don't, don't, don't,look at what's in front of you.
Boost, boost, boost, boostMoving up and down again.
Men, men, men, men, men, go madwith watching them.

(36:09):
There's no discharge in the war.
If your eyes drop, they willget the top of you.
Poof, poof, poof, poof, movingup and down again.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
There's no discharge in the war.
Fly, fly, fly, fly To think ofsomething different.
Oh my god, people going lunatic, folks, folks, folks, folks

(36:51):
moving up and down again and nodischarge in the world 7, 6, 11,
5, 4, 17, 32 the day before now.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
I have watched that trailer probably like 4 or 5
times, oh yeah, and thought,okay, can I figure out what is
going on, because it's prettyintense.
Um and uh, oh yeah, ralphfiends is in it too, which and I
just watched anything withralph fiends gets me going dude

(37:29):
I I was just I think he'sexcellent.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
I'm doing a late night random amazon prime watch.
I started watching this moviewith him and gerard Butler
Coriolanus and my Shakespeare'snot up to snuff, apparently
because I didn't know what I wasgetting into and I what the
first what was it?
called Uh Coriolanus.
It's a.

(37:52):
It's a book by Shakespeare.
I didn't know that.
I thought I was watching.
I thought I was going to bewatching like a modern war movie
, but it was.
They had really had redone, um,they had they had taken the
shakespeare book and then put itto modern times.
So it's like modern people.
I kind of like the romeo andjuliet with uh yeah, um leo yeah
, like you know, or with, like,leonardo dicaprio, they did like

(38:14):
a just a modern version where,like, instead of swords they had
guns and everything.
But anyways, the first like 20minutes it was like I was like
what the hell is going on andthen I finally figured out.
Oh, I'm just dumb and didn'trealize it.
This was actually pretty cool,pretty good movie, nice.
But uh, yeah, he was ralphfinney's.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
He's like, he's like top-notch kind of like as far as
like drama, serious, I've neverseen anything with the minute
that I thought he half-assed,right phoned in you know what I
mean like even stuff that I feelis like could have been like a
snoozer for him.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
He always just gives it everything um, he was looking
intense in that trailer yeah, Ithink he's a.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
I think he's going to be part of the.
So, from what I understand justwatching right, there's no
release of like.
Here's what's going on.
We'll tell you guys.
I think it's going to followtwo stories.
One is a group of troops whoare going into the infected zone
.
I don't know where they'recoming from, because 28 weeks

(39:22):
later literally ends with usfinding out almost all of Europe
is fallen.
At least.
It's pretty bleak at the end,at the end of the movie of 28
weeks later.
It literally makes it seem likethe whole world's gone, like
there is actually no governmentsanymore anywhere.

(39:44):
But this trailer clearly showsSWAT team or tactical team of
some kind, right, going inhostage rescue team, basically
Right, and they're gettingpicked off one by one, I think.
And then there's also thepeople who had to live in the
corn in the zone.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Yeah, because there's the haves and the haves.
There's dudes with like bowsand like rags and the other
people got all teched out.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
Yeah, and that's Aaron Taylor Johnson, and I
think the other ones are goingto be the people who have
essentially, like, learnedsomehow to live alongside the
infected, and I think they arelike cannibals, like they eat
people too which is like why wesee those like towers of skulls.
You know and stuff, yep and Ithink ralph fiends is gonna be

(40:29):
like this cannibalistic tribeleader who like and I think what
they'll probably do here'shere's why I think it'll be
scary they literally like usethe infected as like hunting
dogs.
Oh yeah, deliver them to theirnext, you know, meal um, and so

(40:49):
I'll be.
I'm pretty excited to see, uh,but also like just the way they
incorporated that track with thebeats and like scene to scene.
I'm just like, oh, hey, yeah,I'm stoked.
This looks, it is, it is partof a series, but it also looks
very original to me and I likethe like the scary movies.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
I like the ones at least look like they have a
halfway decent storyline.
You know it's like it's like itcould be good, could be good
yeah, um, all right, cool, uh.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
Oh, you know what else?
I did see a movie recentlycalled companion.
I'm just tossing this out there.
Anyone who wants to see like apretty good movie that's like 90
minutes or whatever, with, uh,like a good date night movie.
Companion was great.
It was a little violent forpeople who were like sensitive
to violence and stuff, butthere's you know it really

(41:44):
telegraphs so you can definitelyclose your eyes and look away.
Um, but it was uh, it was justreally good.
It was a very classic uh kindof uh everything's not what it
looks like on the surface lovestory, and I would say, if you

(42:04):
don't know anything about it,don't watch anything.
Don't watch a trailer.
It's too late.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
I think you already spoiled it for yourself I think
I agree, don't go look and justgo watch it, yeah because it was
well, it was great.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
I took, I took billy jean it and she didn't see a
trailer or anything and she hadno idea and the reveal in the
movie was pretty big for her.
She was like whoa, what, what?
It's one of those movies wherethe trailer definitely spoils
too much.
But just watch it.

(42:39):
It's streaming now.
It's for free streaming onstuff and we paid matinee prices
for it and it was entertainingenough that I would have paid
full price to go see it.
I think we went for Valentine'sDay, but anyways, all that said
, well, I don't really haveanything else to say.

(43:04):
Other, we're beating around thebush here.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
We've really been building up to it you told us,
you you let it speaking of thebig reveal.
You, you, you told us a littlebit about it last week, a couple
weeks ago maybe.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
I think it was last week I think I I alluded to it
during the uh med kit reviewprocess yeah, yeah, we talked
about it there, but now we havesounds like we have updates yeah
, dude, I uh, I guess we shouldjust talk about men's health for
a moment.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
Right, let's just be a little men's health segment.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
Yeah, a little bit of men's health moment here.
Um, I, I, I went and I made adoctor's appointment, right Just
for like a checkup.
Well, I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do, right,Because I mean, here's the
bottom line, Ken you know familyBottom.
Our listeners out there that arefamily, have been listening for

(43:57):
a while.
Right, you guys know that I'vebeen joking around about a
hemorrhoid for a while.
Right, you guys know that I'vebeen joking around about a
hemorrhoid, joking about how myhemorrhoids are causing me, uh,
not pain isn't the right word,but just a nuisance.
And uh, I I don't know, it's myfirst time dealing with him
like a hemorrhoid right and likea hemorrhoid.

(44:18):
That's not just like a littlebump like a, you know like a
hemorrhoid.
That's not just like a whittlebump like a, you know like a
hemorrhoid.
That's like okay, I gotta, Igotta figure out how to build my
life around this thing.
And so you look up stuff andeveryone like there's a
different suggestion oneverything what to do and who to
make an appointment with and Iwent on to my insurance's
website and, you know, trying tofigure out like, okay, what

(44:39):
kind of doctor do I need to finda network to deal with this?
I could have find nothing.
I was like, hey, you know what,who will know A doctor?
Yeah, like, I'll go to a doctorfor just like a general checkup
.
The doctor can just, you know,I'll unfortunately reveal to the
doc, you know I'm going to haveto go in and be like they're

(45:02):
like all right, you're here fora standard physical, yearly
physical, and I'll be like, no,not really.
I just didn't know where elseto go.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
I need you to give me a referral to get my hemorrhoid
looked at right Whoa God, don'tlook these up unless you're
ready for it.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Well, okay, because I'm just saying also because If
you, look them up, you're goingto see the worst kind of about
them, right like, dude, myhemorrhoid, my hemorrhoids, a
nice little hemorrhoid, okay,it's a nice little gentle
hemorrhoid.
I want you to, pat, do me afavor.
Oh, I guess, do me a favor.
Yeah, turn your hand towardsyou.
Uh-huh, and look at your thumb.

(45:32):
Uh-huh, and just look at yourthumb, so you can't see any nail
you're just seeing that topjoint.
Now just imagine that attachedto the rim of your anus.
Yeah, it's not purple, it's not, yeah, throbbing, it's not
bleeding, it's not rashy, it'sjust like a big ass, like like a
thumb, a butt thumb, big oldlump that looks like a thumb.

(45:55):
That's exactly like dude when Ilook at it in the mirror.
And for people wondering howyou do this, I'll tell you.
You, uh, you get a mirror likea small handheld mirror.
Oh yeah, you set it down on theshower floor or the tub floor
and then you squat over it andlook down between your legs,
lifting up your junk, and thatsquat really spreads your cheeks

(46:17):
.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
So that way, you can get a good view of what's going
on down there, because, hey,sometimes you gotta do an
inspection, sometimes you gottaknow what's going on men's
health, you gotta do aninspection.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
You are your first line of defense against, you
know, any kind of liketesticular or rectal cancer,
right?
Uh, you gotta do checkups.
But anyways, that's what it is,guys.
I don't want anyone herethinking I got like anal
fissures or something like that,right, like that's certainly
not what this is, uh, but it isa thumb.
It is a thumb coming out of myass, oh my god, okay and like

(46:48):
everyone's like, yada, yada,you're exaggerating for comedy,
all right.
So this brings me to the doctor.
So I got I got a doctor'sappointment with uh, with the uh
, not a pa.
Well, maybe no, I think he was aPA it was a he specifically was
like I want to find a maledoctor that I can go to, an

(47:08):
older male doctor who can like,who's probably had his own
hemorrhoids, you know what Imean, who can like.
Kind of walk me through this.
But I made an appointment andthen, sure enough, I get a call
from the doctor's office andthey're like we have an earlier
opening if you'd like with likedoctor, female name here.
And I'm just like nah, I'dreally like a male doctor,

(47:30):
honestly, you know.
And they're like oh, okay, well, how about this?
This one, this is a, this isour you know PA, and he can do
the physical and the generalcheckup and all that.
And I was like yeah, right,that's fine.
Whatever.
So I get in there and you gotto fill out the like information
, right, when you're a newpatient, you're filling out all

(47:51):
the documentation and all thatand I can never remember
anything, right, like there'sthat thing that comes up where
it's like what kind ofconditions do you have?
And I'm like, well, I am, I amlegally blind without my glasses
, uh, but like I don't know if,like they needed, I don't think

(48:11):
they care about that, right.
And then they ask, like youknow, do you have?
It's always awkward whenthey're like what's your family
history on your father's side?
And I just gotta be like yeahand uh, yeah, anyways, anyways.
But, um, I'm filling all thatout and then, of course, uh, you
go into the back with, like thenurse who walks you back there.
She's like so what do you want?
Like, what do you want?

(48:31):
You're just here for like aphysical checkup and all that.
Today.
I'm like yeah and uh, andthey're like anything else that
we need to know and like it'sone of those things where, like
you either tell them or you tella doctor, but it's going in
your medical record for everyoneto see.
I was like all right, just getlike, don't have any ego about
it.
It's a chill funny thing, it'sokay.
It's okay to laugh about it.

(48:52):
In fact, I'm going to make it mygoal to make everyone I
interact with here at thisoffice laugh about it, because
then it makes me feel lessclinical and less awkward.
And so I was like, honestly, Idon't think I need a physical, I
just need him to take a look atmy hemorrhoid and give me a
referral yeah she was an oldernurse and I could see she likes

(49:13):
was a little caught off guard.
There was like an emotionaltwitch there, yeah, but like she
steeled it away, I'm like andlike honestly, I just don't know
what to do, because and Ilooked her in the eyes I'm like
it's, it's a thump Coming out ofmy ass and like I just swear at
everything Because I'm like ifI break them I'll feel a lot
Better.
And she Just immediately startedchuckling and laughing and like

(49:35):
, just like you know, she didthe classic, like you know,
older woman, not Old, but likeolder woman, like squint eyes
and like try to fight it and itfeels like the like loud cackle
laugh, you know yeah and thenshe's like okay, all right,
she's like you know you can makean appointment with like a
gastrointestinal, like doctor orsomething like I don't know.

(49:56):
Yeah, no, I don't know that,like when I looked up like
hemorrhoid doctor, there wasn'tone on my insurance portal.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:05):
And so she's like, okay, all right, well, he'll
take a look at it and it'sprobably not as big as it is.
Like there's a lot of thingsoutside of surgery that you can
do, and I was like I kind ofbeen already doing stuff.
I already had like a Teladocappointment, you know, and for
everyone wondering no and foreveryone wondering no, I didn't
put my phone down and justspread my cheeks over the phone
camera and be like what do youthink, doc?
What do you think?
Is this a good view?

(50:25):
Can you turn the flashlight?

Speaker 2 (50:27):
on Open up the console, just with that, yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
No, dude, it was so funny.
I specifically was like I'm notmaking this doc get on a camera
, I'm just going to request onlya phone call because I don't
want them to be like on camera,afraid I'm just gonna be like
all right, well, here it is, doc.
What's your thoughts?
Um, but anyways, uh.
So I told her I was like yeah,I already had a teledoc

(50:51):
appointment.
They gave me some likehydrocortisone, uh like more
intense hydrocortisone than youcan just get uh over the counter
you have to have a prescription.
Like've been using that and it'snot been improving and I've
been like taking some likesupplements that are supposed to
like open up and then increasethe dilation of your veins in

(51:14):
your legs.
So that way it's a lot easier,because hemorrhoids essentially
what people don't if peopledon't know what a hemorrhoid, is
lot easier because hemorrhoidsessentially what people don't.
If people don't know what ahemorrhoid is, um, it's pretty
much like a kink in the, thevascular swollen network yeah,
around your anus, which is thesame thing that happens if you
get punched in the lip in yourface, because your lips a lot of

(51:36):
people don't know your lips arethe same tissue like you're,
you're, I don't know, that's thereason your anus looks like
your lips, anyways, but it's thesame tissue, so like if you get
punched in the lip and your lipswells up and gets purple.
That's the same thing that'shappening with you know, a

(51:57):
hemorrhoid.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
Now.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
I wasn't punched in the ass.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Yeah, because there's one cause, there's a specific
activity that causes this.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
What is this?
You want to make this joke?
It's the gay sex?
Yeah, I'm not having any ofthat, but I'll get to that.
I'll get to the cause.
I'll get to the cause.
It's honestly probably likelygoing to be a lot more of our
listeners than most of themthink, um, but anyways.

(52:27):
So she's like all right, well,you know, the doc will be in a
minute, so he comes in.
He clearly didn't get the memo.
He comes in and he's like sojust here for a general checkup.
We're like, ah, no, doc, uh, uh, yes, um, I just turned, you
know 30 and all that.
So, please, you know, let's,let's do our the general
physical checkup, whatever Igotta do, whatever labs.

(52:48):
But I'm primarily here becauseI have a giant hemorrhoid.
I don't know what to do with itand I need, I need a referral.
And again, I could tell he wastrying to be chill about it and
he was only maybe a year or twoolder than me.
He's pretty young too, so he'sprobably never had a hemorrhoid.
Um, but I saw that he was onlymaybe a year or two older than
me.
He's pretty young too, so he'sprobably never had a hemorrhoid,
but I saw that he was married.
He got a wedding ring on and heseemed like pretty I would say

(53:11):
like a classic colorado frontrange guy.
You know like he looked like herock climbed.
You know what I mean?
He looked like he actually justgot done rock climbing and put
on the quarter zip to come to bea doctor this is dr j.
Yeah, exactly, um, and so is itdr j.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
I don't know who that is.
That's the last name of the guyI see I.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
I don't think this guy all right.
I don't think this guy'stechnically a doctor he's a pa
okay um, but uh, he was like allright.
Um, well, okay, we can, we canprobably take a.
You know, uh, go over somestuff with that today and I'll
tell you some like ways youcould treat it and stuff.
He's like you give somepreparation, age and stuff.

(53:51):
I'm like doc, doc, you're notlistening, yeah, you're not
hearing me out here.
I'm already doing over the likethree times application a day
of this hydrocortisone.
The size is not changing and Ilike looked him in the eyes.
I was like it's the size of mythumb.
It is my thumb coming out of myass, like I kid you not, like I
kid you not.
And he at that point he laughed.

(54:12):
I was like Doc, can you evenknow Like it's okay to laugh?
And I'd actually feel morecomfortable the more you laugh.
Like if you're too clinical,I'm going to feel weird about
this.
And he added some really prettygood chuckles and stuff and he
was like well, you know, man,like these things they really
don't need surgery that much.
You kind of want to avoid itbecause the surgery hurts.
And like you got to go to sleepand it's you're almost never

(54:33):
going to be in an er right orurgent care.
You're going to go into like adoctor's clinic office.
They're going to give you ashot and they're going to prop
you up in a table and like he'slike, he's like pulled his knees
up, but he's like you're goingto be in this chair like this,
knees lifted up, spread wide andthe ultimate brazilian, yeah,
and he's like.
He's like you're gonna be like,essentially, if you're giving

(54:54):
birth, this is giving birth post.
Yeah, and I was like I get it,doc, I do, but I think that's
the only way, I think that's theonly solution.
And he was like all right, okay,like let's take a look here.
I was like is there is, ifthere's an, if there's a pill,
if there's anything like orallyI could take that will like help
with this, I'm fine,anti-inflammatory, whatever.
And he's like you're reallydoing this hydrocortisone

(55:15):
prescription.
I'm like, yeah.
And he's like, okay, this ispretty high percentage.
This is a lot per day.
All right, he's like well, youknow, I could take a look at it.
I was like, if you want to,yeah, and he was like, well, I
don't really want it.
I was like, well, I'm tellingyou what it is, man, like I'm
not exaggerating here.
I I feel it every day when Ihave to put the cream on your
little buddy, yeah, it literallyis too.

(55:38):
Uh, like, it's like just hangingout there right um, and so I
stand up, I tell him I'm likehey, doctor, so you know too,
like I do have my holster onstuff still, but like I left my
gun and mags out in the carbecause I knew I was probably
gonna have to strip at somepoint or take shirts off, right,
yeah, and he I could see therewas a pause on his face when he

(55:58):
was like processing like holsterand stuff.
Uh-huh, I was like all right,we're about to find out if he's
a freaking dork or not.
Um, and uh, he was like, okay,yeah, no, cool, no worries.
Um, and uh, I take my holsteroff the self-drop trowel and,
bro, I turn around and kind ofjust like lean over the the the

(56:19):
bed, right, uh, just enough.
And like he doesn't even haveto like spread my cheeks, he's
just like, oh my god, that'slike.
He's like it's the size of agrape.
I'm like, dude, I look like,turned over my shoulder.
I look at him like I told youlike I wasn't lying.
He's like it's the size of agrape.
And I'm like dude, I look like,turned over my shoulder, and I
look at him like I told you likeI wasn't lying.
He's like.
He's like, yeah, I'm just gonnagive you the referral, like I'm
just gonna refer you to thesurgeon now, because he was

(56:42):
trying to like avoid doing that.
Yeah, and I was like, thank youlike.
He's like, yeah, there's, youcan't do anything about that.
Uh, let's continue to take careof it and take, like you know,
your anti-inflammatories, butlike you know that that is like
the big concern of that is like,if the essentially you get a
blood clot in it, right, if it'saround for too long, it's just
too much effort for the bloodand like plaque or whatever

(57:04):
builds up, you get a blood clot,which then is when it gets all
purple and not good, and thenyou risk it like rupturing and
people bleed out to death fromhemorrhoids.
Really, yeah, no, it's actuallycommon.
Look at, look up how many let'ssee how many people die from
hemorrhoids a year in the US, ohmy God, because they'll be
taking a, they'll be taking adookie, right, and they wipe too

(57:27):
hard or they strain too hardand it bursts and because, like,
it doesn't hurt when it bursts,it just they just bleed out to
death on the toilet.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
the uh oh deaths wise um looks like there's not a ton
of people dying, but you dopeople like there's not.
There's not a ton of peopledying, but you do people like
like there's not there's notenough people, that they have a
number, but, but people do diefrom it, which you would not
expect.
Yeah, like to be like I hadthis thing and then I died,

(58:04):
right.

Speaker 1 (58:04):
Yeah, um.
So anyways, I got the referralbut the, uh, the, the, they,
they haven't called me yet toschedule an appointment, so I
think I'm just going to callthat office.
He printed it out for me andgave it to me.
He's like, hey, man, get ittreated.
But he asked about the podcast.
Oh, really.
And I told him I was like, yeah, I'm really comfortable about
talking about this with youbecause, like one is like you

(58:25):
know, patient, doctorconfidentiality, but also, you
know, I, I talk, I've talkedabout it jokingly, so like, uh,
I'm not, you know, actuallyconcerned here.
And he was like, yeah, no, cool, what's the podcast?
And refer him to.
And he's like I'll check it out.
So hopefully doc's listening tothis and enjoying it um, but he
also like it was funny becausewhen he was doing like the

(58:48):
assessment on me to just see ifI'm in good physical health
before I dropped trial, he wasasking me questions about gun
questions and he's got guns andhis parents actually own a gun
shop in California.
Oh wow, and they're actuallytrying to sell it because of how
hard the gun laws are out thereand trying to close them down.
And so he was actually superpro-gun and very chill and

(59:13):
comfortable and asked me what Iusually carry and stuff and all
that.
So yeah, he was a great doctor.
I'm excited to go see him.
He's now my general practitioner, but it was pretty funny a

(59:39):
doctor like lose their, you losetheir demeanor when they see
like my actual ailment and theyhear and be like, oh my god,
like you know, just likeimmediately flabbergasted.
That was awesome, dude.
It was funny too because likethe rest of the day I was just
laughing about it and my, mywife, billy gene, would be like
what are you smiling about?
What are you laughing about?
I'm like I'm still justlaughing about that doctor's
appointment.
It was so funny.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
It's like a thumb thumb from Spy Kids.

Speaker 1 (59:59):
It actually is yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Floops Fuglies.

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
Yeah, it's crazy.
I'm going to take a picture ofit.
When they do the surgery.
I'm going to be like, hey, I'llbe asleep.
Can someone take a picture ofof it, so that way I could see
what it's like in all of itsglory?
Put a dime next to it, orsomething, so that way people
have a sense of scale.
I'm going to make you look atit.
I'm going to make you look atit for sure, oh man, anyways,

(01:00:24):
alright, funny jokes, I get it.
If this was too graphic for you, you know, if you watched the
trailer for 28 years later andyou were like, oh, that looks
good, and then we went into thisstory and it's too graphic for
you.
You know, sorry, apologies, Iguess.
Yeah, but what about you?
You had a checkup, some men'shealth checkup stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
Yeah, it was pretty basic.
You know, we go in there.
Similarly, I wanted a dude, butthen they were like all right,
right, you can come see dr jenny.
I'm like dang, if I get inthere, dr jenny's a dude.
Hey, last name, there you go.
So anyways, yeah, it's like,but the um, nice, uh, so uh, it
is funny.

(01:01:05):
They're asking you like, solike, have you had, you know, do
you have you had a like primarycare doctor?
And I'm like not, since I was akid, you know, like really, and
I'm like, yeah, what do youmean?
like you know, that's what Itold my doctor too.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
He's like when was your last time you had, like
your like just standard checkupprimary care physician?
I was like, uh, when thesheriff department made me yeah,
no for sure, because it nevergoing in there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
and then you know the it's always the funny thing
about the doctor stuff is Idon't want to have something
wrong with me, I just want themto like maybe do more to find
something.
It's like all right, like checkyour heartbeat, check your
pulse, you know, ask you thequestions and then ask you.
You know's always like you knowabout your tobacco, alcohol,

(01:01:55):
diet, family history did younotice?

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
they changed the alcohol question.
So the last time I did it itwas like how many drinks a week
do you have?
Oh yeah, and it said, based onhow many drinks a week you have,
is it whether or not you're analcoholic.
And uh, so I was like okay, andthat mine was like you're an
alcoholic.

(01:02:17):
It was like if you're havingseven drinks or more a week,
you're an alcoholic.
I was like that's crazy,because I, you know, I most of
the time I don't even have one aday, I just have like maybe
four on friday right and uh.
Now the question is how manydays in the last year did you
have four or more drinks?

(01:02:38):
I was like, okay, it's like 52Fridays in a year.
Divide that by two, so 26.
Right, you know what I mean?
Right, and that's my best, likeguesstimate, but that's the new
question.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
That's probably a better way to frame it for them.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
I mean, I don't know anyone who doesn't have roughly
seven beers a week.
I'm legit trying to thinkthrough it and I don't really
think any of my friends arealcoholics, but most of them
unless they're actually sober.
Most of them are having sevenbeers a week because they're
having like two or three onfriday, saturday and then maybe

(01:03:19):
there's one elsewhere within theweek, like one or two during
the week, right, yep, yep, I'dagree with that.

Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
Like the uh, I guess, like you know, the doctors ask
you all those questions and thenyou're like they look in your
eyes, look at your nose, look inyour ears.
You're like like, do you haveany concerns for your health?
Like you're feeling, like no, Ifeel good.
They're like all right.
You're like, well, what about?
What else are you gonna do?
Like you know, it always feelslike there should be.
You want me to touch your balls?

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
yeah, I know you want me to touch your balls, I'll do
it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
It's not gonna tell me anything, but I'll do it if
it makes you feel better forreal, but the um, the uh, just
like it feels like we should becloser to the point where, you
know, like that, that pin fromstar trek, they just like wanded
over you.
You know, it's like then I cancheck what, like it's like find
all the stuff or whatever, um,but, and they'll do occasionally
, like you know, whatever, orderblood labs, things like that.

(01:04:10):
But yeah, I did figure toprobably time.
I was like you know, go do ayearly checkup, just go in, tell
the doctor what's going on, andI guess it's, I guess it's time
for that type of thing, youknow.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
But what was the bill of health he gave you?

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
said I was good to go say you're fine, yeah, exactly,
yeah, yeah, so it wasuneventful.
Funny thing too is he was likeso when's the last time you had
a doctor?
I was like well, I feel like Igo to a doctor like constantly
because I have kids, kids and mywife definitely takes them way
more than I do, yeah, but it'slike I'm always, it feels like

(01:04:46):
I'm in and out of doctor dropsall the time.
It's just not for me, you know,whatever.
So but the um, because, yeah,little kids gosh, you're always
at the doctor feels like,especially, looking back as a
kid too, it's like dentist,doctor, just all the time yeah,
it's crazy, I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
I don't remember going to the doctors all the
time, but it did.
It was easily like every yearright, if not twice, a year
compared like my, my threevisits over the last decade.
Yeah, you know, I think it'sbecause kids are just like,
honestly, when I'm like tryingto retrospect, like think about
my existence or my like growingup, like I know I wasn't a

(01:05:26):
troublemaker and I wasn't thatmuch of a daredevil.
I definitely goofed around andgot hurt a couple times, but I
think kids just like don't havethe like life experience,
especially when they get intothe teenage years to comprehend
like uh, the discipline of, likeuh, routine self-care and for

(01:05:47):
me, the biggest thing that Ikept on going to the doctors in
for high school was like justingrown toenails, because it was
like I never like.
When you're a kid, you're likeyour shoes get too small because
you're growing so muchespecially as a dude in high
school your feet are growingfaster than any other part of
your body it feels likesomething yeah, unfortunately,

(01:06:08):
uh, but um, it's one of thosethings where, like, you just get
your shoes get tight and you'relike, oh, whatever, I'll deal,
and then you start having painin your toes.
And it's one of those thingswhere, like, you just get your
shoes get tight and you're like,whatever, I'll deal, and then
you start having pain in yourtoes and it's because your shoes
are so tight that you gotingrown toenails and you gotta
go and get them like snipped off.
Have you ever seen?

Speaker 2 (01:06:26):
that.
Have you ever had them?
I've never had to, but I've gotbuddies have.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
It seems like, like ancient dude japanese torture
yeah, honestly, the white hotsearing pain of like the nerve
squeezing uh-huh on yourtoenails growing into the skin.
It hurt more than my femurbreaking, without a doubt.
Like there was times where Ithought about like I was, like

(01:06:51):
if I had a gun I'd kill myself,just because, like the pain is
unreal, dude and it's one ofthose things where, like, as
soon as you stub it or stomp onit, there's like a singeing, but
you know, it's like travelingup your spine like it's gonna
hit your brain at any minute now, and it's like watery eyes.
It's like the feeling of likewhen someone hits you in the
nose.

(01:07:11):
You have that watery eyes, kneejerk reaction.
But then it's like also likenow, imagine there's just like a
knife, hot knife, going throughyour foot.
Oh dude, it was unreal andsince then I had so many of them
that, like I do very regularlike take care of your
maintenance and care on my nailsand feet
and I always am buying moreshoes two, three sizes up if I

(01:07:36):
need, not because I think myfeet are going to grow anymore,
but because I know, like withsocks and wool socks especially,
that roominess is a great wayto avoid that.
And once you get them, oncethey just kind of happen over
and over again.
Yeah, so, anyways, sorry that'sa side tangent, but that was
always what I was in the as akid, in the doctors for.
Oh, yeah, so anyways, sorrythat's a side tangent, but yeah,
that was always what I was inthe as a kid in the doctors for

(01:07:56):
oh, yeah, and kids, yeah,there's like, yeah, there's just
kids get colds.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
You're going to check up, so you got your and then
just your er visits, you know,for stuff.
But the um, yeah, it's probablyabout time to just even, yeah,
just do some routinely go to thedoctor, get some blood work
done, see where you're at and,you know, make sure what will be
interesting, or like, or overthe next, like the next 10 years

(01:08:22):
, is where, like, you'll starthearing about, like you know
whatever, some friend from highschool on facebook like, oh no
shit, they've got cancer or likeyou know, like yeah't, yeah,
like that, or like and like orlike you know, sort of like wait
, we weren't old, oh nope.
All of a sudden, like just likejust the uh, it's crazy, those
things start kind of popping upin there yeah, like hidden 30

(01:08:43):
was has been like a real weirdthing for me, man oh yeah hidden
.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
30 has made me feel like I don't know.
I mean, everyone goes throughit right, like well, everyone
who's alive, I guess, but I justdo think like it's strange to
think that the next decade is 40.

Speaker 2 (01:09:02):
I don't feel in my 30s at all dude, Because 20 to
30 goes pretty fast.

Speaker 1 (01:09:07):
So fast and like I don't have any kids yet and I'm
not feeling stressed or anythingabout like, oh, I need to have
a kid right now.

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
But I am kids yet and I'm not feeling stressed or
anything about like, oh, I needto have a kid right now.
I am.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
I'm like, oh, wow, I'm gonna be the old dad.
Like I'm gonna be the old dadalready if you start playing out
the math on it.
Yeah, um, but who knows modernmedicine, maybe I'll live longer
.
I'll still be a young dad, Idon't.
It's just one of those thingsthat I'm just kind of like
scratching my head about.
I'm like that came so quick,you know, um, but anyways, glad
to hear your checkup was good.
Oh, yeah, good and fine, youdidn't have him check your butt.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
No, not this time.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
Oh the cause, the cause of the cause of the
hemorrhoids, yeah, yeah, yougotta educate us so we can avoid
he.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
He was asking me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
He was like well, what's going on Like, do you do
a lot of like squatting for yourjob or anything like that?
I'm like no, I sit in a chairat my desk and work on the
computer at home.

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
And.

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
I go on walks, probably, you know, anywhere
from one to three times a day,and he's like okay, three times
a day, and he's like, okay, um,and I was like.
What I did hear, though, isthat sitting on the toilet
causes this because of the shapeof toilet seats, and toilet

(01:10:25):
seats are literally shaped tospread your butt cheeks apart,
and the downward gravity forceof that hole in the toilet seat
literally pulls on your anuswhile you're pooping and it's
supposed to make pooping easier,which for sure it does, um, but
that is also like for a long,for a while.

(01:10:47):
That's like the part of youthat is like lowest to the
ground, and when your blood'slike circulating, your butthole
just fills up with blood, and itso like prolonged sitting on
the toilet is like the numberone cause of hemorrhoids now
stop scrolling exactly like Itold him I was like I think I
just sat on the phone.

(01:11:08):
You know I'm used to taking like20 30 minute dunks yeah at
night and stuff before bed andhe's like oh yeah, that is that
will do it.
If you do that every day for ayear you're gonna have
hemorrhoids, it doesn't matteryour age.
I was like, no way he's like.
Oh yeah, he's like, and that'sthe number one cause we see now
he's like.
It used to be.
The number one cause used to be, you know, five, ten years ago

(01:11:32):
was bodybuilding like thebodybuilding exercises could
would strain is clotting so muchthat dudes were like getting
hemorrhoids, uh-huh, because theblood just couldn't get out
before the the like thosemuscles would pinch the vein off
.
Oh yeah, right, and he's likenow.
It's not even remotely close.
It's mostly just dudes sittingon the toilet surfing their
phone and he's like and girlsbecause girls just sit on the

(01:11:56):
toilet surfing their phone too Iwas like, wow, that's crazy,
that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
I don't know if.
Did your grandma ever have thecushy toilet seat?

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
no, she didn't, but I know, like you ever said, the
cushy leather toilet seat, thecushy toilet seat yeah, that's
for hemorrhoids no that's a partof it, really.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
Yeah, just like about less, like whether it works or
not, sure, I don't know, butlike cause.
Also, as you get older, yourmuscles aren't as strong, you
know all this stuff, so you'remore likely To get them.
So that toilet seat, so youhave to get the grandma toilet
seat To relax on, but or thesquatty potty and then get it
done, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:29):
Yeah, I also think I've seen that there's actual
true scientific articles aboutbidets, so I think I'm going to
get a bidet.

Speaker 2 (01:12:37):
Well, what's that?
Does that just make you?
What's the how's that fixed it?
The cool, cold water.

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
Oh yeah, uh, used to clean your anus means that you
have way less friction from likewiping, and so it just like you
just don't have to wipe.
No, yeah and so or wipe as much, and that just essentially a
lot, of a lot of it too is likethe wiping with toilet paper is
actually super strenuous on thattissue.

(01:13:04):
Like imagine how your lips feelif you just wiped and the only
thing you wiped your mouth withwas like paper towels all day,
every day.

Speaker 2 (01:13:15):
Are you getting the cheap stuff or are you getting
the Charmin Ultra Strong?
You need the soft stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
And the thing is, you can lick your lips.
Before you wipe your mouth, getthem wet.

Speaker 2 (01:13:24):
You can't lick your ass before you wipe it right,
there is a method called theLouisiana wet wipe.
Yeah, it's where you blow yournose, then you wipe with it.
I bet those guys have lesshemorrhoids.

Speaker 1 (01:13:40):
I do the turn one into two with the dude wipes,
because dude wipes on thepackage says only one wipe per
flush.
It says don't use more than onewipe because you could clog
your toilet.
So I take a dude wipe and Ilayer toilet paper on both sides
of it, just give it a nicelittle press, and then I pull

(01:14:02):
the toilet paper off and foldthem into their own wipes and
then I have three kind ofmoistened wipes.
And it definitely makes it abetter experience.
That's hilarious.
What's the AI generated artworkthumbnail of this episode?

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
Definitely makes it a better experience.
That's hilarious, yeah, anyways.

Speaker 1 (01:14:15):
What's the AI-generated artwork thumbnail
of this episode going to?

Speaker 2 (01:14:19):
be.
Oh, it's going to be Just likea thumb.
It's coming off my butt cheekJust a thumb.

Speaker 1 (01:14:25):
We can't do that to the people.

Speaker 2 (01:14:26):
No, no, we'll see what it comes up with for us.

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
Anyways, it's so funny.
Well, you know what, Pat?
I don't have much else.
We covered kind of our good oldsoapbox rants and we also got
into some comedic healthcarestuff.
But you got anything else?

Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
Sounds like I gotta change my ways.
Gotta stop taking the phone inthe potty with me.
I'm stopping doing it, man, Idon't want that.

Speaker 1 (01:14:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:14:56):
Because yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Last night was one of the first nights in a long time
where I didn't take a nighttimedeuce before I went to bed.

Speaker 2 (01:15:03):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15:04):
I just was like you know what?
I don't feel like I need to go.
I'm not going to go sit until Ineed to go, I'm just gonna go
to bed.
Huh, well, I guess that's theway it's intended.
Go when you need to.
30s are a crazy time crazywake-up call, for sure?

(01:15:24):
um, all right.
Well, hey, ken, thanks forlistening.
Uh, I hope you enjoyed this,hope you got a lot of a lot of
good laughs out of it.
Hope you felt seen.
You know to.
To my kid out there, whetheryou're a man or a woman with
hemorrhoids, I just want you toknow I get the battle you're
going through.
I'm with you in the trenchesand I get it.
No one understands, because youtell someone you got a

(01:15:46):
hemorrhoid and immediately theysee what Pat saw on the computer
and you're like you gottaexplain.
No, it's not that bad.
Anyways, we're in it togetherand, pat, you got anything.

Speaker 2 (01:16:01):
Until next time, folks.