March 11, 2025 • 24 mins
This episode explores how mid-career professionals unknowingly sabotage their job search by "playing small." With over 172,000 layoffs announced in February 2023—a staggering 245% increase from January—accelerating your job search is more critical than ever.
Common pitfalls that hinder success include:
- Searching for the "perfect" strategy instead of focusing on consistent efforts that yield results.
- Avoiding assertive outreach for fear of appearing desperate, when true confidence is key.
- Hesitating to engage your network, mistakenly believing you'll be a burden.
Success comes from strategic action: track what works, confidently communicate your value, and proactively connect with those who can help.
Ask yourself: How would you show up if you believed your value was non-negotiable?
Download the free Mid-Career Job Seeker's Checklist at johnneral.com to get organized and start seeing results in your job search.
Thank you for listening to The Mid-Career GPS Podcast.
Please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts here.
Visit https://johnneral.com/resources for free and low-ticket resources, including how to join The Mid-Career GPS Membership Community.
Visit https://johnneral.com to join The Mid-Career GPS Newsletter, a free, twice-weekly career and leadership resource for mid-career professionals.
Connect with John on LinkedIn here.
Get John's New Mid-Career Journal on Amazon here.
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Subscribe to John's YouTube Channel here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
John Neral (00:01):
Last week, us employers announced over 172,000
layoffs for February.
That's up 245% from January ofthis year and it is the highest
monthly count since July of 2020.
This data was reported byoutplacement firm Challenger
Gray Christmas, who also notedthat more than a third of that
(00:23):
total came from Elon Musk'sefforts to reduce the federal
headcount.
While these numbers aredaunting and scary, if you've
been impacted by this or fearyour organization may be
eliminating positions, you needto accelerate your job search.
The goal Find the job andhopefully, find a job you'll
(00:44):
love.
In this episode, I will sharewith you three ways I see people
playing small in their jobsearch and how it impacts their
results.
And when people play small, itcan often leave them feeling
frustrated, confused and angry.
So I'm going to share thosethings with you, as well as how
(01:04):
you can turn some of thosearound so you can build your
mid-career GPS to whatever isnext.
Let's get started.
Hello, my friends, this is theMid-Career GPS Podcast and I'm
(01:26):
your host, John Neral.
I help mid-career professionalslike you find a job they love,
or love the job they have, usingmy proven four-step formula.
Before I get into today'sepisode, two things.
One would you do me a favor andkindly share this episode with
someone in your network.
Would you do me a favor andkindly share this episode with
someone in your network?
Just take the link to thisepisode, text it to them, email
(01:48):
it to them.
Obviously, do it when you'resafe, if you're listening to me
while you're driving.
Don't do it now, but if youcould simply share this with
somebody and encourage them tofollow or subscribe, I would
greatly appreciate it.
Thank you so much for that.
And secondly, if you or someoneyou know is in the midst of a
job search and they're feeling alittle disorganized or out of
(02:11):
sorts in terms of what theyquote unquote should be doing,
I've got a free resource.
It is called the Mid-Career JobSeekers Checklist.
You can get a copy of thatright there on my website at
https://johnneral.
com.
It is on the homepage.
It is also under my freebiessection on my website.
It's got everything you need toknow to get yourself organized,
(02:33):
structured and start gettingresults in your job search.
So it's https://johnneral.
com/freebies.
It's a mid-career job seekerschecklist.
Go check it out, download ittoday.
Here's how I want to start offour conversation today.
Any job search, any jobinterview, is one of the most
(02:56):
vulnerable experiences we willhave in our lives.
Look, we don't spend a largepart of our career looking for
jobs, even if you've beenunemployed for a while and
you've been searching for a fewmonths.
Yeah, that takes up the primaryfocus of what you're doing now,
but in the scope of your career, it's a minimal part.
(03:18):
And the reason why job searchesand interviews make us
vulnerable is that someone'sgoing to judge us and right now,
machines are judging us becausewe've got to get that resume
through the applicant trackingsystem.
But we have a networkingconversation, we talk to people,
(03:38):
we go for an interview.
They're going to make ajudgment whether they want to
hire us or not.
Interview and they're going tomake a judgment whether they
want to hire us or not.
All the preparation, all thestudying, all the research and
when you get that notificationthat you're now in the final
round of the interview, it'sbetween you and two other
candidates and you sit there andgo okay, I got a one in three
(04:00):
chance.
Now your brain will take you tothis place of going yeah, but I
could be one of the two thatdon't get the job.
Fearing rejection is what oftenholds us back in this entire job
search and, additionally, wemay think that we're wasting our
(04:20):
time, our efforts and ourenergy because we're not getting
a job offer.
This market is unquestionablydifficult right now.
It is not impossible, and oneof the ways you can counteract
that is by looking at how youare approaching this job search
and when I work with my clientsand I talk to people who are
(04:44):
inquiring about coaching.
Here are the things I want toshare with you today.
Are you someone who is playingfull out in this entire process
or are you playing small?
And I've got three ways for youtoday, where people are playing
small in their job search, youmay find you're doing one, two
(05:07):
or maybe all three of them, buthere's number one you are
playing small in this job search.
If you are looking for theperfect way to find a new job,
there is no perfect diet outthere.
All diets work.
There's no perfect exercisethere All diets work.
There's no perfect exerciseprogram All exercises work.
(05:27):
It's just a matter of what youcommit to and where you get
consistency.
And so I work with people whowill say to me John, I only want
to apply on job boards, but Ihear that's not a great way to
find a job, or I'm only doingnetworking, or I'm just going to
work with a recruiter.
Any of those are viable pathsfor finding a new job.
(05:51):
There is no perfect way to finda new job.
It is only the way, the searchstrategy that you consistently
do, that's going to get you theresults.
So what I want you to thinkabout here is where are you
spending your time?
Are you spending the majorityof your job search time on job
(06:17):
boards, building thosenetworking connections, having
those networking conversations,going to networking events or
networking groups online?
Are you doing outreach,specifically with recruiters?
Where are you spending the timeand what's getting you results?
Because here's the thingresults matter, matter.
(06:51):
You could apply for one jobonline and get it.
You could apply to a thousandjobs online and not get it.
What efforts are you doing thatgets you the best results?
And I don't want you to answerthis question and say, well, I
think I do pretty good withonline versus meeting people in
(07:11):
person.
I don't want you to think.
I want you to know.
Got to look at some hard datahere, be honest with your
efforts and evaluate themaccordingly.
Could you do all three?
Sure, all three oftentimes letsyou determine which is the best
path for you.
(07:31):
You have to figure that out.
It's your job search and whatyou are doing to make right.
The second way I see peopleplaying small in this job search
is that they're not beingaggressive enough with their
efforts.
Let me say that again they arenot being aggressive enough with
(07:59):
their efforts.
The key word here is aggressiveand, depending on whatever
thoughts you have about beingaggressive, I want you to take a
look at that.
Being aggressive doesn't mean abad thing.
You could be aggressive on theathletic field.
That could be good.
It could also be bad, dependingon what sport you're playing.
(08:24):
When I hear people who areplaying small in their job
search and I get really curiouswith them about why they're not
doing a little more or beingmore aggressive.
What I often find is this Ifthey keep themselves busy, they
(08:44):
can tell themselves they'reputting all this effort out
there.
It doesn't matter.
The only thing matters here isthe results.
So, rather than loadingyourself up with a whole bunch
of busy work, what if youfocused your efforts solely on
(09:05):
those activities that producejob leads?
Those leads go to interviews orthey create better connections
for you in your career.
They create better connectionsfor you in your career.
The busy work has to stop.
You must be more strategic inthis job search, and so being
(09:33):
aggressive simply means youwholeheartedly believe that you
have something to offer A teamdepartment, an organization,
whatever it might be, and youwill be relentless in getting
your message out there, becausegetting that job is what's
important to you.
(09:55):
This is not about beingdesperate or needy or grasping
and I want to give you thisexample, but if let's just say
you are walking in the desert, Ilove this example.
This example comes from MasterCoach Brooke Castillo at the
Life Coach School.
(10:16):
I am not certified there.
My certification is throughIPEC, the Institute for
Professional Excellence inCoaching.
I have listened and followedBrooke and heard her talk and I
want to make sure I give creditwhere credit is due.
But she talks about you'rewalking in the desert.
You have this bottle of water,okay, and somebody comes up to
you and they're parched andthey're thirsty and they've been
(10:38):
in the desert and they'reparched and they're thirsty and
they've been in the desert andthey're sweating and they want
that bottle of water.
There is an exchange of valuebetween the bottle of water
you're holding and what someoneis willing to pay you for it,
and I know everybody always sayswouldn't you just give the
person the water?
It's your water.
I know everybody always sayswouldn't you just give the
(11:01):
person the water?
It's your water, you need it,but you're willing to sell it to
somebody.
Whatever you decide to sell itfor is a reflection on the value
you believe that bottle ofwater is to that person because
of the transformation they'regoing to get.
What's the transformation forthem?
(11:24):
They become hydrated.
Their cells react better.
They get a little bit of energy.
In your job search right now,the transformation that a
company gets by hiring you iswhat you need to tap into.
What do they gain?
What's their benefit?
Where do they get the win?
(11:47):
By bringing you on board?
That's the message.
That's where people beginplaying full out, because they
are so clear on their value thatthey provide that they will
show up in such a powerful way.
They know that their value isnon-negotiable.
(12:12):
Oftentimes I'm doing thisexercise with clients and we're
talking about what it means forthem to be more aggressive in
their job search.
With clients and we're talkingabout what it means for them to
be more aggressive in their jobsearch.
They will often question andthey'll stop the session.
So I'm not really good aboutbragging about myself or I'm not
really good at self-promoting.
This isn't it.
(12:36):
This is not it.
What you need to tap into hereis that what you have to offer
is so needed that any companywould be lucky to have you.
Any leader would be fortunateto have you on their team.
(12:57):
Self-promoting and bragging arevery different than saying
here's what I do, here's how Ican help you, but not being
aggressive in terms of yousaying that message to anyone
(13:17):
and everyone is absolutely a wayI see people playing small.
It doesn't have to be at aformal networking event.
I've had people whom I'veconnected to in my career
literally, literally happened inthe checkout line at a
supermarket.
You have to be clear on yourvalue and know how to connect.
So the third way this is goingto be hard for some people.
(13:44):
I'm not going to lie.
The third way I see peopleplaying small is that they don't
want to bother their network.
I hear people say, oh, they'retired, they're frustrated,
they're exhausted, they're goingthrough a lot too.
I don't want to be a pest, Idon't want to turn them off.
And so what do you do?
You play small, you retreat,you never ask, and when you
(14:09):
never ask, you never know.
And when you never know, youdon't know what could be or what
might happen.
Digging into your network, ordigging more deeply into your
network, is all about saying tothem hey, you and I have known
each other for a while.
Who can you connect me to?
(14:30):
Who should I be speaking with?
Just last week, I connectedfour people in my network to
three other people in my networkwho I thought they'd all be
great matches for, and I madeemail connections and I
(14:50):
hyperlinked their LinkedInprofile.
Do you know why?
Because people said to me whodo you know?
Who should I be speaking to?
Who's a great person in yournetwork that you think they'd
like to meet me, and vice versa.
That's the ask.
That's about leveraging thenetwork.
So, look, I may not be able todirectly help them, but I have a
(15:13):
wonderful network.
I am proud of that.
I know there are people withinmy network that could absolutely
help them and whenever possible, I'm happy to connect.
But you are getting in your ownway if you are not wanting to
bother your network or you havea thought that everyone is busy
(15:34):
and you don't want to botherthem If they're really good
people in your network.
They will find a way to helpyou.
They will find a way to make aconnection.
And I want to offer you thisadditional tip.
(15:55):
So if you've listened to me fora while, you know I keep the
most obnoxious to-do list and Iscrap it every 30 days because
if it's not done in 30 days it'snot going to get done.
But my brain works pretty quickand I'm constantly putting
stuff down.
When I make an offer to connectsomebody, I say to that person
I will get this done by close ofbusiness on such a day or by
(16:17):
the end of the week.
Oh, thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
Hey, here's what I need fromyou.
If, for any reason, somethinghappens and I don't make that
connection, please remind me.
I'm going to put it on theto-do list.
It's going to get done.
If something happens and Iforget, it's okay to remind me.
I make that agreement.
(16:40):
So they don't feel like theyhave to be trepidatious or
hesitant about reaching out andasking me.
You can make those agreementswith people in your network when
somebody says to you hey, I'dlove to connect you to so-and-so
Great.
Thank you so much for that.
When do you think you'll beable to do that and they might
(17:03):
say, great, I'll be able to doit by Thursday.
Great, now, if they don'thappen to make the email
introduction by Thursday, youcould follow up and say, hey,
hope, everything's okay.
We set up an agreement, you'regoing to make this introduction
by Thursday.
Would you still be willing tomake it?
Or you can say, hey, thanks somuch for saying you're going to
(17:24):
be able to do this on Thursday.
If, for any reason, somethinghappens and you don't get to it,
would you be okay if I remindedyou Because this connection
sounds really great and I reallyappreciate you making it.
Earlier today I had to take oneof the cars in for service
routine service and I got thereand I waited almost 20 minutes
(17:48):
before somebody came out to helpme, and so I was a little
frustrated and annoyed andeverything.
And then the tech says to meare you going to leave it or
wait for it?
I said, oh, I'm going to waitfor it.
And the tech goes it's going tobe three hours Now.
I had my computer with me.
I was prepared to sit there anddo work.
Here's the question I asked Isit going to be three hours?
(18:12):
Are you really telling me four?
And the guy looked at me and hekind of chuckled.
He goes no, no, it's three.
I said, okay, just want to makesure.
And when it came time to checkout, he came over to me and he
said I'm so sorry you had towait long.
I hope I was able to at leasthonor the part about it taking
three hours.
I said, yeah, you did great.
(18:33):
I got a ton of stuff done, gotmy favorite spot here in the
service center and I sat thereand got some bunch of work done.
It was all good.
Right, you know what he says tome.
At the end he says, hey, we'regoing to get a survey.
If you wouldn't mind giving meall great ratings.
I appreciate it and I know youhad to wait, but I hope I made
this better.
(18:54):
We have to make agreements withpeople.
Sometimes we shy away frommaking agreements for fear that
we're going to offend, upset orwhatever it might be.
Get out of your way.
If it's that important to you,you will make that agreement
Because I will tell you.
If he told me it was reallygoing to be like four, four and
a half hours, I probably wouldhave taken a ride share home or
(19:19):
I would have brought the carback on another day.
It's okay.
He said three hours.
I'm in, we're doing three hours, it was three hours.
Don't be afraid to make thoseagreements with people.
That's how we buildrelationships.
That's how people get to knowus.
See, the impact of playing smallin this game is that you will
(19:40):
stall your results, going overthese three tips that I share
with you, for where I see peopleplaying small.
Number one you're looking forthe perfect way to find a new
job.
Number two you aren't beingaggressive enough with your
efforts.
And number three, you're notleveraging your network's other
connections.
If you're doing those thingsand playing small, you are
(20:01):
stalling your results.
You are not accelerating thisprocess as much as you
potentially could.
Effort is energy.
If you believe in the effortand you put the energy in the
right way, results happen.
Okay, you play safe becausethat's what's comfortable,
(20:24):
because there's something abouttelling Aunt Susie, when Aunt
Susie gets you at Sunday nightdinners like, have you found a
new job yet?
You're like, oh, I applied for80 jobs this week.
I've heard nothing.
That's comfortable because youfeel like you're doing the right
work.
It's not getting you theresults.
Job searches are not meant tobe comfortable because you don't
(20:46):
do it all the time.
So it's different Get help, getresources, get support.
I shared at the top of theepisode.
I've got a checklist on mywebsite to help you get
organized.
If you want to do some worktogether, I'm here to help you.
We can talk about what hiringme as your coach is going to
look like, but if you areplaying small in this job search
(21:07):
, the biggest impact is you staystagnant, you don't get results
, you don't get into that jobquicker, you get more frustrated
, more upset, more angry.
It impacts your life in so manyother different ways because
you choose to play small.
So, as we wrap up, I'm going toask you three questions and I'm
(21:33):
going to give a little bit oftime after I ask these questions
for you to just think about.
If it helps you to pause theepisode, by all means do.
But here are these threequestions.
Question number one how wouldyou show up for your job search,
your interview or anynetworking conversation if you
(22:00):
knew your value wasnon-negotiable?
Question two what would everyprofessional interaction look
(22:20):
like?
What would every professionalinteraction look like?
An initial call with arecruiter, hr, professional,
hiring manager.
What would every interactionlook like if you knew you could
(22:46):
help someone?
Question number three what doyou need to do right now to stop
playing small in your jobsearch?
(23:10):
Remember you will build yourmid-career GPS one mile or one
step at a time, and how you showup matters.
Make it a great rest of yourday and start playing full out.
Thank you for listening to theMid-Career GPS Podcast.
Make sure to follow on yourfavorite listening platform and,
if you have a moment, I'd loveto hear your comments on Apple
(23:30):
Podcasts.
Visit johnnerrellcom for moreinformation about how I can help
you build your mid-career GPSor how I can help you and your
organization with your nextworkshop or public speaking
event.
Don't forget to connect with meon LinkedIn and follow me on
social at John Darrell Coaching.
I look forward to being backwith you next week.
(23:51):
Until then, take care andremember how we show up matters.
Thank you.
Last week, us employers announced over 172,000
layoffs for February.
That's up 245% from January ofthis year and it is the highest
monthly count since July of 2020.
This data was reported byoutplacement firm Challenger
Gray Christmas, who also notedthat more than a third of that
(00:23):
total came from Elon Musk'sefforts to reduce the federal
headcount.
While these numbers aredaunting and scary, if you've
been impacted by this or fearyour organization may be
eliminating positions, you needto accelerate your job search.
The goal Find the job andhopefully, find a job you'll
(00:44):
love.
In this episode, I will sharewith you three ways I see people
playing small in their jobsearch and how it impacts their
results.
And when people play small, itcan often leave them feeling
frustrated, confused and angry.
So I'm going to share thosethings with you, as well as how
(01:04):
you can turn some of thosearound so you can build your
mid-career GPS to whatever isnext.
Let's get started.
Hello, my friends, this is theMid-Career GPS Podcast and I'm
(01:26):
your host, John Neral.
I help mid-career professionalslike you find a job they love,
or love the job they have, usingmy proven four-step formula.
Before I get into today'sepisode, two things.
One would you do me a favor andkindly share this episode with
someone in your network.
Would you do me a favor andkindly share this episode with
someone in your network?
Just take the link to thisepisode, text it to them, email
(01:48):
it to them.
Obviously, do it when you'resafe, if you're listening to me
while you're driving.
Don't do it now, but if youcould simply share this with
somebody and encourage them tofollow or subscribe, I would
greatly appreciate it.
Thank you so much for that.
And secondly, if you or someoneyou know is in the midst of a
job search and they're feeling alittle disorganized or out of
(02:11):
sorts in terms of what theyquote unquote should be doing,
I've got a free resource.
It is called the Mid-Career JobSeekers Checklist.
You can get a copy of thatright there on my website at
https://johnneral.
com.
It is on the homepage.
It is also under my freebiessection on my website.
It's got everything you need toknow to get yourself organized,
(02:33):
structured and start gettingresults in your job search.
So it's https://johnneral.
com/freebies.
It's a mid-career job seekerschecklist.
Go check it out, download ittoday.
Here's how I want to start offour conversation today.
Any job search, any jobinterview, is one of the most
(02:56):
vulnerable experiences we willhave in our lives.
Look, we don't spend a largepart of our career looking for
jobs, even if you've beenunemployed for a while and
you've been searching for a fewmonths.
Yeah, that takes up the primaryfocus of what you're doing now,
but in the scope of your career, it's a minimal part.
(03:18):
And the reason why job searchesand interviews make us
vulnerable is that someone'sgoing to judge us and right now,
machines are judging us becausewe've got to get that resume
through the applicant trackingsystem.
But we have a networkingconversation, we talk to people,
(03:38):
we go for an interview.
They're going to make ajudgment whether they want to
hire us or not.
Interview and they're going tomake a judgment whether they
want to hire us or not.
All the preparation, all thestudying, all the research and
when you get that notificationthat you're now in the final
round of the interview, it'sbetween you and two other
candidates and you sit there andgo okay, I got a one in three
(04:00):
chance.
Now your brain will take you tothis place of going yeah, but I
could be one of the two thatdon't get the job.
Fearing rejection is what oftenholds us back in this entire job
search and, additionally, wemay think that we're wasting our
(04:20):
time, our efforts and ourenergy because we're not getting
a job offer.
This market is unquestionablydifficult right now.
It is not impossible, and oneof the ways you can counteract
that is by looking at how youare approaching this job search
and when I work with my clientsand I talk to people who are
(04:44):
inquiring about coaching.
Here are the things I want toshare with you today.
Are you someone who is playingfull out in this entire process
or are you playing small?
And I've got three ways for youtoday, where people are playing
small in their job search, youmay find you're doing one, two
(05:07):
or maybe all three of them, buthere's number one you are
playing small in this job search.
If you are looking for theperfect way to find a new job,
there is no perfect diet outthere.
All diets work.
There's no perfect exercisethere All diets work.
There's no perfect exerciseprogram All exercises work.
(05:27):
It's just a matter of what youcommit to and where you get
consistency.
And so I work with people whowill say to me John, I only want
to apply on job boards, but Ihear that's not a great way to
find a job, or I'm only doingnetworking, or I'm just going to
work with a recruiter.
Any of those are viable pathsfor finding a new job.
(05:51):
There is no perfect way to finda new job.
It is only the way, the searchstrategy that you consistently
do, that's going to get you theresults.
So what I want you to thinkabout here is where are you
spending your time?
Are you spending the majorityof your job search time on job
(06:17):
boards, building thosenetworking connections, having
those networking conversations,going to networking events or
networking groups online?
Are you doing outreach,specifically with recruiters?
Where are you spending the timeand what's getting you results?
Because here's the thingresults matter, matter.
(06:51):
You could apply for one jobonline and get it.
You could apply to a thousandjobs online and not get it.
What efforts are you doing thatgets you the best results?
And I don't want you to answerthis question and say, well, I
think I do pretty good withonline versus meeting people in
(07:11):
person.
I don't want you to think.
I want you to know.
Got to look at some hard datahere, be honest with your
efforts and evaluate themaccordingly.
Could you do all three?
Sure, all three oftentimes letsyou determine which is the best
path for you.
(07:31):
You have to figure that out.
It's your job search and whatyou are doing to make right.
The second way I see peopleplaying small in this job search
is that they're not beingaggressive enough with their
efforts.
Let me say that again they arenot being aggressive enough with
(07:59):
their efforts.
The key word here is aggressiveand, depending on whatever
thoughts you have about beingaggressive, I want you to take a
look at that.
Being aggressive doesn't mean abad thing.
You could be aggressive on theathletic field.
That could be good.
It could also be bad, dependingon what sport you're playing.
(08:24):
When I hear people who areplaying small in their job
search and I get really curiouswith them about why they're not
doing a little more or beingmore aggressive.
What I often find is this Ifthey keep themselves busy, they
(08:44):
can tell themselves they'reputting all this effort out
there.
It doesn't matter.
The only thing matters here isthe results.
So, rather than loadingyourself up with a whole bunch
of busy work, what if youfocused your efforts solely on
(09:05):
those activities that producejob leads?
Those leads go to interviews orthey create better connections
for you in your career.
They create better connectionsfor you in your career.
The busy work has to stop.
You must be more strategic inthis job search, and so being
(09:33):
aggressive simply means youwholeheartedly believe that you
have something to offer A teamdepartment, an organization,
whatever it might be, and youwill be relentless in getting
your message out there, becausegetting that job is what's
important to you.
(09:55):
This is not about beingdesperate or needy or grasping
and I want to give you thisexample, but if let's just say
you are walking in the desert, Ilove this example.
This example comes from MasterCoach Brooke Castillo at the
Life Coach School.
(10:16):
I am not certified there.
My certification is throughIPEC, the Institute for
Professional Excellence inCoaching.
I have listened and followedBrooke and heard her talk and I
want to make sure I give creditwhere credit is due.
But she talks about you'rewalking in the desert.
You have this bottle of water,okay, and somebody comes up to
you and they're parched andthey're thirsty and they've been
(10:38):
in the desert and they'reparched and they're thirsty and
they've been in the desert andthey're sweating and they want
that bottle of water.
There is an exchange of valuebetween the bottle of water
you're holding and what someoneis willing to pay you for it,
and I know everybody always sayswouldn't you just give the
person the water?
It's your water.
I know everybody always sayswouldn't you just give the
(11:01):
person the water?
It's your water, you need it,but you're willing to sell it to
somebody.
Whatever you decide to sell itfor is a reflection on the value
you believe that bottle ofwater is to that person because
of the transformation they'regoing to get.
What's the transformation forthem?
(11:24):
They become hydrated.
Their cells react better.
They get a little bit of energy.
In your job search right now,the transformation that a
company gets by hiring you iswhat you need to tap into.
What do they gain?
What's their benefit?
Where do they get the win?
(11:47):
By bringing you on board?
That's the message.
That's where people beginplaying full out, because they
are so clear on their value thatthey provide that they will
show up in such a powerful way.
They know that their value isnon-negotiable.
(12:12):
Oftentimes I'm doing thisexercise with clients and we're
talking about what it means forthem to be more aggressive in
their job search.
With clients and we're talkingabout what it means for them to
be more aggressive in their jobsearch.
They will often question andthey'll stop the session.
So I'm not really good aboutbragging about myself or I'm not
really good at self-promoting.
This isn't it.
(12:36):
This is not it.
What you need to tap into hereis that what you have to offer
is so needed that any companywould be lucky to have you.
Any leader would be fortunateto have you on their team.
(12:57):
Self-promoting and bragging arevery different than saying
here's what I do, here's how Ican help you, but not being
aggressive in terms of yousaying that message to anyone
(13:17):
and everyone is absolutely a wayI see people playing small.
It doesn't have to be at aformal networking event.
I've had people whom I'veconnected to in my career
literally, literally happened inthe checkout line at a
supermarket.
You have to be clear on yourvalue and know how to connect.
So the third way this is goingto be hard for some people.
(13:44):
I'm not going to lie.
The third way I see peopleplaying small is that they don't
want to bother their network.
I hear people say, oh, they'retired, they're frustrated,
they're exhausted, they're goingthrough a lot too.
I don't want to be a pest, Idon't want to turn them off.
And so what do you do?
You play small, you retreat,you never ask, and when you
(14:09):
never ask, you never know.
And when you never know, youdon't know what could be or what
might happen.
Digging into your network, ordigging more deeply into your
network, is all about saying tothem hey, you and I have known
each other for a while.
Who can you connect me to?
(14:30):
Who should I be speaking with?
Just last week, I connectedfour people in my network to
three other people in my networkwho I thought they'd all be
great matches for, and I madeemail connections and I
(14:50):
hyperlinked their LinkedInprofile.
Do you know why?
Because people said to me whodo you know?
Who should I be speaking to?
Who's a great person in yournetwork that you think they'd
like to meet me, and vice versa.
That's the ask.
That's about leveraging thenetwork.
So, look, I may not be able todirectly help them, but I have a
(15:13):
wonderful network.
I am proud of that.
I know there are people withinmy network that could absolutely
help them and whenever possible, I'm happy to connect.
But you are getting in your ownway if you are not wanting to
bother your network or you havea thought that everyone is busy
(15:34):
and you don't want to botherthem If they're really good
people in your network.
They will find a way to helpyou.
They will find a way to make aconnection.
And I want to offer you thisadditional tip.
(15:55):
So if you've listened to me fora while, you know I keep the
most obnoxious to-do list and Iscrap it every 30 days because
if it's not done in 30 days it'snot going to get done.
But my brain works pretty quickand I'm constantly putting
stuff down.
When I make an offer to connectsomebody, I say to that person
I will get this done by close ofbusiness on such a day or by
(16:17):
the end of the week.
Oh, thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
Hey, here's what I need fromyou.
If, for any reason, somethinghappens and I don't make that
connection, please remind me.
I'm going to put it on theto-do list.
It's going to get done.
If something happens and Iforget, it's okay to remind me.
I make that agreement.
(16:40):
So they don't feel like theyhave to be trepidatious or
hesitant about reaching out andasking me.
You can make those agreementswith people in your network when
somebody says to you hey, I'dlove to connect you to so-and-so
Great.
Thank you so much for that.
When do you think you'll beable to do that and they might
(17:03):
say, great, I'll be able to doit by Thursday.
Great, now, if they don'thappen to make the email
introduction by Thursday, youcould follow up and say, hey,
hope, everything's okay.
We set up an agreement, you'regoing to make this introduction
by Thursday.
Would you still be willing tomake it?
Or you can say, hey, thanks somuch for saying you're going to
(17:24):
be able to do this on Thursday.
If, for any reason, somethinghappens and you don't get to it,
would you be okay if I remindedyou Because this connection
sounds really great and I reallyappreciate you making it.
Earlier today I had to take oneof the cars in for service
routine service and I got thereand I waited almost 20 minutes
(17:48):
before somebody came out to helpme, and so I was a little
frustrated and annoyed andeverything.
And then the tech says to meare you going to leave it or
wait for it?
I said, oh, I'm going to waitfor it.
And the tech goes it's going tobe three hours Now.
I had my computer with me.
I was prepared to sit there anddo work.
Here's the question I asked Isit going to be three hours?
(18:12):
Are you really telling me four?
And the guy looked at me and hekind of chuckled.
He goes no, no, it's three.
I said, okay, just want to makesure.
And when it came time to checkout, he came over to me and he
said I'm so sorry you had towait long.
I hope I was able to at leasthonor the part about it taking
three hours.
I said, yeah, you did great.
(18:33):
I got a ton of stuff done, gotmy favorite spot here in the
service center and I sat thereand got some bunch of work done.
It was all good.
Right, you know what he says tome.
At the end he says, hey, we'regoing to get a survey.
If you wouldn't mind giving meall great ratings.
I appreciate it and I know youhad to wait, but I hope I made
this better.
(18:54):
We have to make agreements withpeople.
Sometimes we shy away frommaking agreements for fear that
we're going to offend, upset orwhatever it might be.
Get out of your way.
If it's that important to you,you will make that agreement
Because I will tell you.
If he told me it was reallygoing to be like four, four and
a half hours, I probably wouldhave taken a ride share home or
(19:19):
I would have brought the carback on another day.
It's okay.
He said three hours.
I'm in, we're doing three hours, it was three hours.
Don't be afraid to make thoseagreements with people.
That's how we buildrelationships.
That's how people get to knowus.
See, the impact of playing smallin this game is that you will
(19:40):
stall your results, going overthese three tips that I share
with you, for where I see peopleplaying small.
Number one you're looking forthe perfect way to find a new
job.
Number two you aren't beingaggressive enough with your
efforts.
And number three, you're notleveraging your network's other
connections.
If you're doing those thingsand playing small, you are
(20:01):
stalling your results.
You are not accelerating thisprocess as much as you
potentially could.
Effort is energy.
If you believe in the effortand you put the energy in the
right way, results happen.
Okay, you play safe becausethat's what's comfortable,
(20:24):
because there's something abouttelling Aunt Susie, when Aunt
Susie gets you at Sunday nightdinners like, have you found a
new job yet?
You're like, oh, I applied for80 jobs this week.
I've heard nothing.
That's comfortable because youfeel like you're doing the right
work.
It's not getting you theresults.
Job searches are not meant tobe comfortable because you don't
(20:46):
do it all the time.
So it's different Get help, getresources, get support.
I shared at the top of theepisode.
I've got a checklist on mywebsite to help you get
organized.
If you want to do some worktogether, I'm here to help you.
We can talk about what hiringme as your coach is going to
look like, but if you areplaying small in this job search
(21:07):
, the biggest impact is you staystagnant, you don't get results
, you don't get into that jobquicker, you get more frustrated
, more upset, more angry.
It impacts your life in so manyother different ways because
you choose to play small.
So, as we wrap up, I'm going toask you three questions and I'm
(21:33):
going to give a little bit oftime after I ask these questions
for you to just think about.
If it helps you to pause theepisode, by all means do.
But here are these threequestions.
Question number one how wouldyou show up for your job search,
your interview or anynetworking conversation if you
(22:00):
knew your value wasnon-negotiable?
Question two what would everyprofessional interaction look
(22:20):
like?
What would every professionalinteraction look like?
An initial call with arecruiter, hr, professional,
hiring manager.
What would every interactionlook like if you knew you could
(22:46):
help someone?
Question number three what doyou need to do right now to stop
playing small in your jobsearch?
(23:10):
Remember you will build yourmid-career GPS one mile or one
step at a time, and how you showup matters.
Make it a great rest of yourday and start playing full out.
Thank you for listening to theMid-Career GPS Podcast.
Make sure to follow on yourfavorite listening platform and,
if you have a moment, I'd loveto hear your comments on Apple
(23:30):
Podcasts.
Visit johnnerrellcom for moreinformation about how I can help
you build your mid-career GPSor how I can help you and your
organization with your nextworkshop or public speaking
event.
Don't forget to connect with meon LinkedIn and follow me on
social at John Darrell Coaching.
I look forward to being backwith you next week.
(23:51):
Until then, take care andremember how we show up matters.
Thank you.
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