December 22, 2023 • 48 mins
In this episode of "The Middle with Jeremy Hobson," we're asking a simple question: what made you happy in 2023? Jeremy is joined by author and speaker Neil Pasricha, Director of the Institute for Global Happiness, as well as Wisconsin comedy sensation and YouTube star Charlie Berens. The Middle's house DJ Tolliver joins as well, plus callers from around the country.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to the Middle. I'm Jeremy Hobson, and as always,
Tolliver is here.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi, Tolliver, Hey Jeremy.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
So since we launched this show back in September, we
have covered all sorts of topics, from wars in Ukraine
and Gaza to the rise of artificial intelligence to inflation.
But I am so excited for this show because people
always say the media are too negative.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
So this hour to fix that.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
We are asking listeners what made them happy in twenty
twenty three. Our number is eight four four four Middle.
That's eight four four four six four three three five
three before we get to calls, before we get to
our guests, let me put that to you.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What made you happy this year? Tolliver?
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Sure, well, I fell in love Jeremy, all right, I
gave a Ted talk this year, and I told my
mom how to text two years got.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Oh, good for you. That's good for you? All right?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well, I could not be well, first of all, I
have there are many things that made me happy.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
You have made me happy. The launch of this show
has made me happy.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I do love long walks and I like the beach.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
But that seems too cliche to put the two together,
so I won't. But anyway, I couldn't be happier about
our guests right now. From Toronto, Neil pasricha author of
many books, most notably the international bestsellers The Happiness Equation
and the Book of Awesome series.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Neil, Welcome to the Middle.
Speaker 5 (01:18):
Thanks for having me. Jeremy, good to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
It's great to have you and joining us from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Charlie Barns, stand up comedian, YouTube star, son of Wisconsin,
host of The Cripes Cast podcast, and author of the
Midwest Survival Guide. Charlie, great to have you on the
Middle as well.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
Oh, thank you so much, son of Wisconsin. Wasn't expecting that,
but probably uncalled for it, but I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You know, I am from Illinois. Tolliver is also from Illinois.
I know you Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I don't always hold us in the highest regard.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
It's not Illinois. It's just loving the Bears is something
we gotta get over emotionally.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
You know, Charlie, we are both from big families. By
the way, I am one of seven. You are one
of twelve, right all right?
Speaker 5 (01:58):
Your mass produced too.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I like, do you see them all at the holidays.
Speaker 6 (02:03):
Yeah, yeah, I do. And usually it's a good experience.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Really, that's good. We like to do like like one
on one, two on two. You put us all together,
there's going to be a fight.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Oh we'll fight.
Speaker 6 (02:16):
But that's part of what makes a good experience.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Well, Uh, I have to ask you, Charlie before we
before we move on. You know, one of the things
about your comedy is putting a focus on uh.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
The middle on the Midwest.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
You try to bring the idea of Midwest nice to
a national audience. I wonder if you could just explain
to our listeners, especially those who are not in the Midwest,
what that means.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
What is Midwest nice?
Speaker 6 (02:40):
You know, it's it's a be nice first, ask questions
later kind of deal. Like if you see, you know
there's a little some growing in your neighbor's gutter, for instance,
you know you see a little plant grown in there. Well,
you know they haven't cleaned out their gutters. You can
go attempt to clean out their gutters and possibly trespass
along the way, and you're just gonna accept the consequences
(03:01):
of trespassing because you know, you got to be nice first.
Get arrest to explain this to the police afterwards. I
wouldn't do that at night.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
By the way, speaking.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
From experience get you into trouble.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Speak to you an experience, Neil Pasrica, you are the
expert on happiness, not just finding things to be happy about,
but how to keep wellness and gratitude a part of
daily life.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
What is the secret to happiness?
Speaker 7 (03:26):
There's many secrets to happiness. A big one is not
sleeping beside our cell phones. Right now, almost everyone is
doing that. I say, get the phones away from your
bedside table when you wake up in the morning. Instead,
do three simple prompts. I will let go of I
am grateful for. I will focus on helps put your
brain in a positive mindset before you get out of bed.
And I think that's a really big step all of us,
(03:48):
including me, can take to be a little happier.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
When you do the I will let go of. Do
you actually let go of it for the day?
Speaker 7 (03:55):
Yeah, there's You know, it turns out that all the
religions were right. You know, most every world religion has
a form of repentance or you know, confession built into
the religious practice hundreds of religions over thousands of years.
But the faster growing religion is not the faster religion
in the US and Canada, or I am is none.
I say, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Turns out it's actually really good for your brain. A
(04:16):
lot of research shows if you write down something, you'll
let go of someone you're comparing yourself to some nasty
text you sent to your sister that you feel bad about.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
That actually helps put it out of your brain so
you aren't thinking about it all day.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
So what made you happy this year?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
If you had to pick one thing, Neil.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
Well, you just heard me rant about cell phones.
Speaker 7 (04:34):
A big thing that makes me happy is whenever I'm
together with friends or family and people aren't looking at
their phones.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
I'm not saying it happens all the time.
Speaker 7 (04:40):
But if you ever get it through a meal or
through a conversation and you're just like, hey, we went
half an hour without people.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Look, those are my happiest moments.
Speaker 8 (04:49):
Of the year.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Charlie, what about you? What made you happy this year?
Speaker 6 (04:53):
You know, I cleaned my basement and that was really good.
Growing up by I was used to clean the garage
with my dad, or go up to my grandpa's and
clean the garage, and it's like we've cleaned these things
a thousand times. But now I'm starting to realize, you know,
clean the basement, you just kind of clean out your
mind a little bit, you know, and when you.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Can see what you have there that you don't need.
Speaker 6 (05:17):
Like there was a puzzle there, and there was this
lego set I didn't even remember I had it, and
there's a little truck. I took it over to my
uh my brother's house, give it to my nieces and
nephews and they got it was just sitting in my basement,
but they loved it all, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I read an article today that in the movie Home Alone,
that there were mannequins in the basement and that that
is an indication that the mother and Home Alone was
in the fashion industry. And there was also a theory
that the that the mccallisters were a crime family and
that anyway.
Speaker 6 (05:51):
It makes me happy right now that deep the Home.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Alone, we got, we got some we got some calls
coming in. Let's go to Ivan in Detroit. Ivan, Welcome
to the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 9 (06:06):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (06:06):
Hello, Jeremy. Yeah, I want to say thank you very
much for your show man. I love it. This is
like the highlight of my Thursday.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Thank you so much. You so other than the middle.
What made you happy this year?
Speaker 10 (06:22):
Well? I live in in Doneraue, Detroit, and my family,
most of my family lives in Texas and Houston, and
especially my Surgate grandparents lived in Houston. So these are
my mother's uncle and aunt and they adopted my mother.
(06:45):
So growing up, I always knew them as my grandparents.
That's how I was raised. And we got to be
with them a couple of months ago, a few months
ago and celebrate did their fiftieth anniversary. So because they
were so special to me, it was so wonderful to
(07:07):
be over there. And one of my lifelong dreams was
to have a cookout with my grandpa. And even though
he was, you know, very delicate as far as his
health was, he we so had a great time and
we had the cookout, I got to see him smile,
(07:28):
and you know, I got to make some final good
memories with him. He passed away last month, and it
was also wonderful, you know, Aside from that, it was
also wonderful that my family got to honor him in
a wonderful way. The family bought a beautiful erm for him.
Speaker 11 (07:53):
Yeah, and it's just it's amazing, it really is.
Speaker 10 (07:58):
That even though go ahead, I was just gonna.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Say, I'm so happy that you were able to do that.
That's really great and I really appreciate you calling in
Neil Pasrika. A lot of people probably would, I mean
certainly be very happy to be able to experience their
grandparents or even their surrogate grandparents' fiftieth wedding anniversary. But
I imagine family is something that comes up with a
lot of people in terms of what makes them happy.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 7 (08:23):
The nineteen thirty eight Harvard Adolt Development Study, the longest
study in happiness ever done in history, shows that community
and connection is the number one driver of long term
happiness more than anything else. You know, anyone's else you
go to and you wear your slippers in. You know,
the people that you feel comfortable calling or getting a
call from or a text from late at night.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
Those intimate relationships make us happy.
Speaker 7 (08:45):
So I agree, I love that story, I've been thank
you for sharing it. And absolutely, Jeremy, the next one's
friends and family is so important, especially right now when
loneliness is at an all time high.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Let's go to Mordecai in Raleigh, North Carolina. Mordecai, Welcome
to the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Yes, hey, y'all. What made me happy was the is
the fact that I retired this year. So I'm happy
that I no longer have to work. I'm free. I
can control my own destiny on a regular basis every
day throughout the day. In addition to that, I have
a road bike and a mountain bike, so I can
(09:26):
get out on my road bike or a mountain bike.
There's just some wonderful trails in Raleigh, North Carolina that
I can, you know, ride through. I attend mass now
on a regular, consistent basis every day. I can take
time to cook my healthy meals, eat healthy There's just
(09:47):
so many things that I can now do on a
regular basis that make me happy in terms of being
able to control my own destiny.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
So you don't think you're going to get bored without
a job now now that you're retired.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Absolutely not. No, There's just so many things that are
available to people to do. I mean, you know, whether
they want to volunteer, I can do a little volunteer work,
or if I want to do that, there's just a lot
of things that are there to occupy one's time. So
(10:25):
I would encourage anyone that is thinking about retirement to
and if they can do it, and they can manage
it financially, to go ahead and do it.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Do it all right, Mordecai, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Charlie Burns.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
By the way, as a as a comedian, do you
anticipate ever retiring or is this going to be something
where you're like one of these comedians that goes to
one hundred.
Speaker 6 (10:47):
I mean, I feel like I'm already retired in some ways,
you know. The lucky thing about my job. I mean,
I started working for a young age being want to
twelve kids, and I did that to get out of
doing the free work at my house. By the way,
but I think since I found like my passion, like
(11:11):
I love writing, and I'm able to do that and
I really enjoy it. That said, there are certainly parts
of my gig that you know, I kind of do
because I want to just be on stage, you know,
so you.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Know, Tolliver.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Last year there was a Gallup poll that found that
people in general are more stressed out and less happy
now than they have ever been.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Well, Jeremy, that's why I want you to listen to
this clip of Dumbledore from the two thousand and four
movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Speaker 12 (11:42):
But you know, happiness is found even in the dark
coast of times, if I only remembers to turn on
the light.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yes, some wise words from our favorite fictional wizard, Alvis Dumbledore.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
And by the way, stay right there because we've got
more calls coming up. And if you are a loyal
Middle podcast listener, go ahead and rate us where you
listen to your podcast. Let's get those ratings up and
some really nice rats. We'll be right back after this break.
This is the Middle. I'm Jeremy Hobson. If you're just tuning,
in the Middle is a national call in show. We
(12:21):
are focused on elevating voices from the middle geographically, politically,
and philosophically, or maybe you just want.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
To meet in the middle.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
This hour, we're asking what made you happy in twenty
twenty three, Tolliver, what's that phone number again?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
It's eight four four four Middle. That's eight four four
four six four three three five three.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I am joined now by Neil pasricha author of the
Book of awesome and the Happiness Equation and Milwaukee based
comedian and YouTube star Charlie Barns, author of The Midwest
Survival Guide.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Before we get back to the.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Phones, uh Neil, let me ask you, what about people
who say, you know, I just spent the last six
hours on TikTok or worse at X. Everything is terrible
in the world. How can I possibly be happy?
Speaker 5 (13:05):
I can relate to that feeling.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
And you know what, our time outdoors is an all
time low right now, Jeremy. According to the American Time
You study, where kids are spending seven percent of their
times outside.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
It's never been lower. You multiplied seven.
Speaker 7 (13:18):
Percent by seven days a week, it means it takes
a kid a whole week to spend half a day outside.
The reason that's important to not is because when you
go outside, you're breathing all these chemicals trees released called
Bayton sides that actually lower your corsol, lower your adrenaline,
and yes, in fact, do make us happier.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Problem is, the internet doesn't make money.
Speaker 7 (13:34):
When you go inside, you never see an ad for
trees on Instagram. A big solution to a lot of
the stress would carry is just to leave your phone inside,
go take a walk.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Charlie heard it.
Speaker 7 (13:44):
I just heard Mordecai talk about mountain biking and it
sounded like he was pretty happy about that.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
That's the recipe right there, absolutely, Charlie.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Do you think that, since you are somebody with a
huge social media following, that you actually are part of
the problem.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
Yeah, part of the problem. And I agree the solution
is go outside.
Speaker 9 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
I hate all a lot about my phone.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Hate maybe a strong word.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
There's some good in it, you know, but it's just
you gotta sip through a lot of the garbage. You know.
I'm not going to say what I create if it's
good or garbage, but you know it's out there. But
I agree with and I didn't know. Trees released like
dopamine stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
That's awesome.
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Yeah, byton Sides, that's like, that's the new drug. Folks
get after it.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Christmas trees have that because maybe that's why people are
happy with the holidays. Mostly, let's get back to the phones.
And Victor in uh Fort Myers, Florida, is with us high.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Victor, welcome to the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 11 (14:47):
Hey, so the middle of this year? Hold on a moment,
my wat's getting home middle of this year. Earlier, the
doctors showed concern for what they thought was my wife
having breast cancer. And after fighting with the insurance company,
(15:09):
which is a big story here, that is the same
story every day, doesn't matter if it's helped insurance, home
matures or whatever.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Insurance.
Speaker 11 (15:15):
But after a week and a half of testing and
diagnosing and diagnostics, she was declared. It was declared that
she did not have breast cancer. It was just some
kind of calcious bumps. Yeah. So yes, And I kind
of surprised her when I told her that i'd be
saying something about it. She's like, oh, so that's that's
(15:38):
what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Yeah, that's exactly who you had the phone with.
Speaker 11 (15:44):
So but I appreciate taking my call, and everybody out.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
There, congratulations to you answer your wife. I really appreciate
your call, Neil. I got to think that a lot
of people, you know, for a lot of people, some
of the most happy news they could ever get is
as good health is when there's something they're worried about
and then they find out that it's not as bad
as they thought.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Absolutely, health is a big deal.
Speaker 7 (16:09):
Everyone says, you know, everybody's got nine to nine problems
that somebody with the health concern has won, right, and
our health experience really.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Does lead to lots of positives. There's the story we
just heard.
Speaker 7 (16:19):
There's also you know, showing up the walking clinic and
there's miraculously no way to getting these positive diagnosis. Anything
related to health is very impactful. Fact, just before we
called in for the show, I was texting with my dad,
who's experiencing high blood pressure right now. I'm going to
check in with him right after we're done, and so
it's on my mind too.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Everybody out there who's going through something with.
Speaker 7 (16:37):
Help, sending you love, hope you feel better, and absolutely
it's the number one thing.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Jay is with us from Iowa. Hi, Jay, Welcome to
the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 13 (16:48):
Well, I grew up on welfare back in the nineteen
seventies and eighties, and this year I made enough money
to send my wife to Hawaii this month with a
friend of ours who has a timeshare and we live very,
very cheaply, so it was decent to be able to.
(17:10):
It just made me feel really good that I was
able to send her to way. I don't want to fly.
You didn't she got to experience a I didn't go
because I don't want to fly. I'm a little scared
of that. But she had never been to Hawaii, so
she got to go and that made me very happy
(17:30):
that they had a great time.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Which island did you did you send her?
Speaker 13 (17:36):
She went to the Big Island?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Nice, beautiful, great.
Speaker 13 (17:41):
That just made Yeah, that just made me feel really
good that I was able to do that despite growing
up on food stamps and welfare.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
That is awesome though.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, well, thank you so much for that call. Really
appreciate it. Let's uh, let's get to another one. Alice
is in Hatchog, New York. Alice, Welcome to the middle.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
What made you happy this year?
Speaker 8 (18:07):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Alice?
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Yes, hi, Hi?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
What made you happy this year?
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Oh? Great?
Speaker 14 (18:15):
Thanks for taking my call. You know, I think this
might sound a little strange, but I'm sure you'll understand
by the time i'm done. My beloved father, Jim, he
passed away this past June. But what made me happy
about that situation was I got to meet the most
wonderful people from Good Shepherd Hospice in where I live
(18:36):
in Port Jefferson, Long Island, and they made that experience
that can be so fearful, especially when you love someone
so dearly. They changed that experience for me into the
most precious gift that I could have ever imagined, you know,
being able to comfort my father on his very last
(18:56):
you know, in his last.
Speaker 8 (18:57):
Day days of life. And that makes me happy. It's
a memory that I'll always cherished, that something he wanted
so badly was to be home, and for me to
be able to, with their help with the hospice help hospice,
be able to give that to him, with old nurturing,
all the love that I could possibly give and you
(19:19):
I just felt like a real honor and it makes
me very happy to think I was able to do
that for him.
Speaker 11 (19:25):
That's my story.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you so much. Alice really appreciate that. Yeah,
Charlie Bearns.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
You know, as you listen to these calls from all
over the country and so many really personal stories, what
do you what do you think I mean that.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
You know that last story to Alice, which you're saying
about being able to give that to her husband. I
mean you can tell how much that that made her feel.
And then I think it was Jay sending you know,
his life to why you know, it's kind of like,
what makes you really feel is doing so thing for
(20:00):
someone else, you know, I mean that that makes you
happy quite a bit because you can you I find that,
you know, especially maybe as you take off or you
can buy something for yourself, it doesn't feel as good
as buying it for someone else.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
So yeah, absolutely, let's go to Anna in South Bend, Indiana. Anna,
Welcome to the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 5 (20:24):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Anna?
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Okay, five second rule? I guess so you know, actually,
Charlie Barns, I know that you spent time as a journalist.
You were a journalist early in your earlier in your career,
you went to journalism school, you did. Yeah, so well,
first of all, what made you decide to go the
comedy root instead of sticking with the journalism.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
I was just doing various types of everything from local
news to you know, I moved around the country doing this.
I was doing local news in Dallas, I was in
Los Angeles to red carpets, and I just didn't really
care about the stuff I was reporting on at that point,
So I started doing stand up at night and then
(21:10):
I was, you know, making jokes about all the things
people said when I was reporting in news, which was
that I had an accent, you know, which is obviously false, folks.
But then I found once I was on stage and
I was able to kind of talk about that stuff,
that there was a lot of people relating to it,
(21:31):
and that really got me going into comedy and I
haven't really looked back ever since.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Do you think that the news generally is pretty depressing
or like, how do you feel about whether it makes
you happy, whether it makes you happy to pay attention
to what's going on in the world or not.
Speaker 6 (21:49):
Yeah, you know, I mean, I think that there's this
one Bible passage that it's like, the poor will always
be with us, and it's kind of a confusing passage
for some people. And I promise this relates to what
you're taught talking about. But you know, I'm not a
biblical scholar by any means. I've just read the Bible
from here to there. But I think that whole thing
the poor will always be with us, The news will
(22:10):
always be bad, there will always be people dying somewhere.
It doesn't mean you give up on it, but it
means that you realize that you do what you can
for those people as much as you can, and then
you realize you don't have the ego to solve everything
in the world. I think that's what I took from
a bit, and so with news. It always made me
happy to like find something or report on something, especially
(22:34):
more of an investigative piece, to like help people see
something maybe they didn't see before. You know, at the
end of the day, it really wasn't for me. I mean,
comedy was more for me, But I really do enjoy
the news, and especially the good local journalism that a
lot of folks are doing.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Neil, then back to you about the issue of the
news and how depressing it can be, especially as we
head into this twenty twenty four election, which I'm sure
is going to be pretty difficult for a lot of people.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Well, you know, Charlie said, I like the good local news.
I agree with that.
Speaker 7 (23:05):
The problem is that most news, most news isn't local anymore.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
We got these things in the center of our brain.
Speaker 7 (23:10):
They've been evolving three million years, called our Amigdala's right.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
It's while we all rubberneck on the highway.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
So why when you get a blood test back from
your doctor, you scan for the high cholesterol, you get
a math test back from your teacher. You want to
check out the one that you got wrong. Our brain's
a program to look for problems, so sometimes that's all
we see news media. Social media is designed to give
us endless negativity, so you can't stop looking, so you
get more ads. And so the design of the system
(23:36):
right now is really really bad.
Speaker 5 (23:38):
For our mental health.
Speaker 7 (23:39):
And it's part of the reason why Surgeon General Vivic
Murphy's thinks that you know, one in two American adults
right now says that they're lonely, which is.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
Worse for our health than smoking fifteen cigarettes than loneliness is.
Speaker 7 (23:48):
So one of the solutions I really advocate to cultivate
a more positive mindset is just to read fiction from
a real book. The Annual Psychology says that reading a
couple pages of fiction tonight, just a couple of pages,
actually opens up the mirror neurons in your brain responsible
for empathy, compassion understanding. If when you listen to the
(24:11):
conversations and the calls not you feel empathetic.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Passionate understanding.
Speaker 7 (24:15):
Hearing about retired mountain bikers and hearing about sending your
wife to Hawaii and all these stories, that's the same
thing that happens when you read a story from another gender,
another world, part of the world, another time of the world.
So reading a couple of pages of fiction before bed
is a big happiness practice. And the reason that comes
down so hard on it is because fifty seven percent
(24:36):
of Americans read zero books last year. The numbers at
an all time high, So we actually have to recultivate
this practice that most of us had going for us
when we were kids.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Charlie, how many books did you read last year?
Speaker 6 (24:47):
Oh, don't ask question. Come on, I mean half of one?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Okay, none?
Speaker 10 (24:56):
None?
Speaker 8 (24:57):
Wow? That is zero.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
I know. I'm sorry, Neil, round up, don't round down.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
You know we are getting some comments online. You can
reach out at listen to the middle dot com and
go to all of our social media there, Tolliver, what
are people saying?
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Yeah, Carrie and Fleming Island, Florida says what made me
happy in twenty twenty three was reverting at age sixty
five to youthful behaviors by going to a lot of
rock concerts. One was a four day festival, some were
two night affairs, and I traveled quite a ways to
do it. As a bona fide dancing fool. I want
younger folks to see that it's okay to hoot, holler
and dance like nobody's watching. Nice he's better than me
four days. Yeah, I got a hat stage yay.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Best.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
David in Cleveland Heights, Ohio says what may be happy
in Ohio is when people of all parties came together
to support citizens' rights to amend our constitution. Personally speaking, though,
it always makes me happy when I see my almost
teen daughter enjoying time with her friends, more family, you know.
And then Mindy in my home city of Chicago says
in twenty twenty three, I'm pleased that both my sons
twenty eight and twenty five are employed and actually like
(25:53):
their positions. That's rare that age. We spend so much
time at work that it is a shame. So many
of us do not want to be where we are employed,
but have to stay. Yes, we can look for other jobs,
though I'm sure so many people would agree for me
with me that finding something better isn't always possible.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, yeah, well, by the way of just getting word
and so the reason that we've had phone issues in
the past is because the system's overloaded. I think this
question was too easy, and so therefore the phone lines
are completely up. So I'm going to try again, because
you know what might as well. I love having the
callers call in here. So, Karen in Kansas City, Missouri,
(26:29):
can you hear me?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Are you there?
Speaker 5 (26:33):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (26:33):
I'm fine. I'm not hearing you very well.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Okay, Well you're hearing me.
Speaker 11 (26:37):
Okay, I can hear you.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Okay. So tell us what made you happy this year?
Speaker 9 (26:42):
Well, it made me happy was planting trees and actually
getting a whole crew of people to plant them and
water them with me. I am very, very worried about
the climate, and it's hard to know what to do
about the climate. And I decided that getting trees in
the ground was to be the best thing I could use.
(27:03):
So I got trees for free from a source over
in Saint Louis, and I gathered some friends together and
we got in October, we got about forty six trees
in the ground, street trees, and I knocked on doors
of people nearby, whether they were working by or living nearby,
(27:25):
and said, will you please water this tree for the
next two years? And it blew my mind how many
people said absolutely, absolutely, I will help with this project. Yes,
it was the biggest thrill of my life this past year.
I planned to continue next year. What they were kind
(27:46):
of trees? Yeah, Well, I'm a big believer in oak trees.
I know that we don't have enough oak trees. I
only plant trees that are native to this area. And
I know that oak trees Number one, they get really big,
they really create a lot of shade, and number two,
they provide many ecosystem They they provide a lot of
(28:07):
ecosystem value. To say, you know, they're important for insects
to eat their leaves, and I guess that's that's kind
of the main thing.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Well, really appreciate that, Karen.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I'm glad you were able to do that and that
it made you so happy. I have to say, I
I planted a tree several years ago in a house
I used to live in. Two trees actually, and I
still will drive by and the people that live there
now probably think I'm crazy, But I just want to
see how my little babies are doing.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, and I get that book.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
What is that?
Speaker 2 (28:42):
You know, Tolliver?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
It is the holiday season, as you know, and just
about every ad that we watch is telling us that
if we buy the product, we will be happy.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
It's been like that for quite some time. Jeremy. Here's
an old commercial that tells us that the secret of
a happy marriage is actually a cup of Folders instant coffee.
Speaker 15 (29:00):
Did you ever see Larry looking so happy?
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Holy happiness is a vacation.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Away from your coughing Larry. Oh, missus Olsen. He's always
ranting about my coffee. But I guess it really isn't
any good now.
Speaker 8 (29:15):
Now, good coffee is no problem.
Speaker 12 (29:17):
All you need is a coffee with better flavors Poliers.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Unfortunately, we are not getting any money from Folders.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Why no.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
But you know, as we near the end of the
year and you're making tax seductible contributions to organizations you
care about, you could make the Middle one of them.
At Listen to the Middle dot com, we appreciate your support.
We'll be right back with more right after this break.
This is the Middle. I'm Jeremy Hobson. This hour we're
asking you what made you happy this year. Our number
(29:48):
is eight four four four Middle. You can also reach
out to us at Listen to the Middle dot com.
Our guests are Neil pasricha author of the book of
Awesome series and the Happiness Equation and comedian Charlie Barn's
before we go back to the phone. Charlie, you know,
one of the reasons obviously you are not an expert
on happiness, you're a comedian, But one of the reasons
that I wanted to have you on this show this
(30:10):
hour is because you make people laugh.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Laughing makes people happy. What was the.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Best joke that you told this year that you can
think of right now that you can remember at.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
This moment, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Or just one of your favorites of all time.
Speaker 6 (30:25):
You are really putting me on. Yeah, you know, I mean,
I love talking about my family like i'd be like,
you know, I said it earlier, I said, I'm one
of twelve kids. I'm mass produced. That's Andy, Charlie, Billy, Betsy, Megaetti, Mary,
Kate Gentleman, Nor Bridget, Eli, Frank. You know that's so
many kids. I just said thirteen names, and you guys
(30:46):
didn't even know the difference. So you know, I mean,
those are old jokes, but it's what's off the top
of my head. But yeah, really, there's nothing better than
making a crowd laugh at something that you think is
funny too.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I have to say.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
One of the I was watching that you did that
made me laugh was about roundabouts and how how people
from the Midwest handle them.
Speaker 6 (31:09):
Yeah, you know, I mean you would think that if
you were designing a round about, you would not test
market it in the Midwest because where it's oh, no
after you, no, I ins af no you hey, here
have some root barb. They're handing out the thing, you know,
and the only people in the middle going round and
round are for Milanois, you know, because they're the only
(31:29):
ones who are assertive in the Midwest.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
So that's one of the.
Speaker 6 (31:33):
Things you got to watch out for.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
You have stories about that time.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Yeah, I'm from Chicago. When I moved to me to Apolis,
I'm a jaywalker because I'm from Chicago, and I will
jaywalk to time for the cars to pass me. But
they'll just stop in the middle of the street and
let me pass like it's your turn.
Speaker 5 (31:46):
Go.
Speaker 6 (31:46):
Yeah, that breaks up the whole jaywalking thing if you
can't predict that they're just in a rush past you
like they sah know.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Neil past Richa, is there a How connected is laughter
and happiness.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
And you know it produces the right chemical.
Speaker 7 (32:03):
We'll go back to the chemicals again, chemicals in your
body and make it feel good, especially when we're laughing
together in a group post pandemic, getting back into those
comedy clubs, being with people on a movie theater.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
That type of stuff is really valuable.
Speaker 7 (32:15):
I was just thinking, I went to the movie theater
the other day, and you know, the best seat in
the movie theater, Jeremy, tell me if you agree, is
when you're sitting in that one seat that has the
metal bar in front of you. It doesn't block a view,
but it's perfect height for a foot rest. There's like
one chair and everything.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
That disabled people in the theater. Are you allowed to
sit in that one? I don't know.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
I have not asked that question before.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
All right, Uh, let's go to the phones. Maria is
in Birmingham, Alabama. Hi Maria, what made you happy this year?
Speaker 16 (32:49):
Hello?
Speaker 17 (32:51):
One of the things that made me most happy this
year was teaching English as the second language to immigrants
from Mexico and Central America. I became a graduate student
at age fifty seven and was given the opportunity to
teach English to students in the university Community program, which
(33:17):
is free for them to attend and it was just
so wonderful seeing their faces light up as they were
more able to communicate and socialize, and it was just
such a beautiful thing. They came here really wanting to
be part of the community, and it was so gratifying
(33:41):
to see them be able to communicate more and feel
more welcome and to belong. And at the end of
our class, we had a beautiful party and everyone made
food from their own country and it was just a
great celebration.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Well that sounds great, Maria, thank you so much for
that call. You know, Neil, I'm just that made me
think of the issue of communicating and how happy you
are when you are able to communicate, especially if you
aren't able to begin with. I'm thinking about people have
talked about babies that one of the reasons that they
cry as much as they do is because they cannot
communicate what they want. And so a lot of people
(34:24):
will teach their babies sign language before they can talk,
because then at least they can tell their mom or
their dad what they're after exactly.
Speaker 7 (34:31):
Putting the fingers together for more, wiping the hands together
for all done.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
And I love Maria's comment that I'm learning I'm teaching
EESL at fifty seven. Right.
Speaker 7 (34:40):
It kind of reminds me of Mordecai saying, hey, getting
into volunteering and retirement. Yeah, a lot of people have
this misnomer that you know, retirement either makes you happy
or doesn't make you happy. What the research actually shows
that if you have four s's in your life at
any age that combines for happiness. They are social, so
being together with people, structure, having a reason to get
out of bed in the morning, stimulation all was learning
(35:02):
something new, whether that's asl or mountain biking. And story
being part of something bigger than yourselves. If you have
those four US's, social, structure, stimulation, and story, you can
usually find happiness with or without a paying job.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
All right, Murphy is joining us from Saint Paul, Minnesota. Murphy,
what made you happy this year?
Speaker 6 (35:23):
Hi?
Speaker 18 (35:23):
There? Well, early this year I had to have cataract surgery.
I was losing my site and I hadn't quite reached
my deductible and my insurance yet, so the bills were
coming due and I was really nervous about it, and
my best friend set up a goalfundme to try to
raise money to make sure I can make my medical
expenses and kind of spread it around to friends and
(35:46):
social media, and we reached the goal in four days.
My friends and coworkers rallied and I was able to
raise the money to pay for my surgeries. So not
only has my site been restored and I can see
better than I have, you know, since I was a kid,
but I hit the jackpot on friends and that just
changed everything for me.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
It just did.
Speaker 18 (36:08):
So I'm still waking up in the morning like seeing
branches and birds and everything's perfect. And I'm still so
grateful that I have the best friends in the entire
world that really rallied around me.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
That's great. And you feel like a new person with
after your cataract surgery.
Speaker 18 (36:25):
I haven't seen this way since I was six years old. Yeah,
it really has changed everything. It's uh, you know, I'm
not squinting and I can see for miles and I'm
so grateful because I can really see my friends now too.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
That is great.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Thank you so much for that call, Murphy, And you
know what We've got Mia in Chicago, Mia, what made
you happy this year?
Speaker 8 (36:47):
This year?
Speaker 19 (36:48):
I got a much needed divorce. Wow, and that made
me happy?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Made you happy to get the divorce.
Speaker 19 (36:58):
I mean, the divorce is needed. And the reason it
made me happy is that it made me become an
independent person and a part time single mom. And as
part of that, I've been a teacher for twenty years,
but I took a new job working with neurodiverse kids,
(37:19):
so kids on the autism spectum, and doing that every
day has made me happy. And you know, I look
back at last Christmas and I look at this Christmas,
and you know, my son is happy and healthy, and
I'm happy and every day is full of joy, and
(37:41):
I can look back and say that, you know, that
divorce was a good thing and it has bought so
much happiness to the people it's touched this year.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Great Mia, thank you so much for that call, Neil,
Charlie your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
A divorce that makes you happy.
Speaker 7 (37:59):
There is some research Richard Thaler believe undercover economists, if
I have it right, that shows that the higher the
instance of divorce in site, the higher this happiness too.
People are less financially dependent in the relationships they're able
to pursue.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
You know, you just heard the teaching of neurodiverse.
Speaker 7 (38:15):
Kids the past that they're cho they're that they're interested in.
So there is some research that suggests, hey, perhaps it's
an ingredient, not of a negative society. Oh wanted two
people get divorces terrible, but actually people like if I
hadn't got divorced when I was twenty eight, which I did,
I wouldn't be married to the woman I am today
and that has turned into a wonderful thing for me.
So you know, maybe this divorce is a step towards
(38:36):
something else, or something different or something better.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
Yeah, I got I got divorced too. And you know,
I will say this with happiness and divorce. We do
all these wedding registries for people who are getting married.
Those are the people with their lives together. We got
to start doing divorce registries, you know, because I have
four samuraized sorts on my wall, but only one butter knife, Like,
where is my registry?
Speaker 10 (39:00):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (39:01):
But these are I think that divorce can make you happy,
but we need society to rally around the divorce folks.
How about the not doing so well dot com instead
not dot com? That's what I'm saying, putting it.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
Out there, that's what you need. The Bachelor party too.
Speaker 6 (39:17):
Yeah, there you go. That's it, because you're actually a bacheler,
then you're not really a bacheler when you're engaged.
Speaker 5 (39:22):
For God's sake.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
All right, let's go to Ann in Houston. Ann, welcome
to the middle Go ahead. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 16 (39:31):
Oh? So much. I have joined two book clubs. And
that means, besides the books that I pick on my own,
I've read twelve plus twelve other books. I've got plenty
of reading. And I'm meeting some wonderful people and they
belong to these groups. I'm in a writing group. They
help me write better, and I help them write better.
(39:54):
I'm able to just I signed up to give money
to help the people who are injured in the Middle East.
I that's I have trees.
Speaker 18 (40:09):
In my yard.
Speaker 16 (40:10):
I'm really enjoying the crisp winter weather that we're having
in Houston here. It's just right. It's it's crisp, it's
not too cold. I don't have to run the heat
or the air conditioner. I've met I already said, I
meant so oh. I have my brother over for dinner
every every week. I make something really good and he
(40:33):
enjoys it, and and my grandchildren and his grandchildren. I
have pictures of all of them in my entry hall.
I'm so proud of them. They're so beautiful. And I
even have a picture of my great grandfather among the
pictures in my all way.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
So just lots of things you're happy with, just about everything.
Speaker 16 (40:52):
It sounds like, yeah, I have the story and the
and the and the family at the social one of
the other. I have all of those.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
Speaker 7 (41:03):
Structure, stimulation and story and listen, Jeremy planning trees, singing, volunteering, teaching,
neurodiverse kids. Nobody's saying being online on Instagram right, even
though we're spending.
Speaker 5 (41:15):
Three to five hours a day on social media.
Speaker 7 (41:18):
I think a big ingredient we need to do as
a nation on happiness is we got to increase the
minimum age of social media from thirteen up to sixteen
or eighteen. There's a reason that TikTok shuts off in
China every single night at ten pm sharp across the
whole country every night.
Speaker 5 (41:33):
They turn it off, the whole thing. Yeah, and they
make it so we got to get why.
Speaker 7 (41:38):
So the fact that the things that make us happy
are often these simple pleasures that we're all talking about
in this wonderful show, and let's get wise and kind
of crank up the heat on some of these tech
companies that are putting us in a negative state with
the addictive technology.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
You know, I took a mini vacation a few weeks ago,
just for like four days, and turned a deleted all
of the social media apps on my phone so that
I couldn't look at them.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
I didn't delete the accounts.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
That would be the next step maybe, but for this time,
I just I just leaded them and it was great.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
It's like, it doesn't make you happy. It totally doesn't
make you happy.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
But that being said, we are on all the social media.
If you want to reach out to us, you can
find it all. Listen to the Middle dot com. Let's
get to Gwen in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Hi, Gwen, welcome to
the Middle.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Go ahead. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 5 (42:25):
So?
Speaker 20 (42:26):
What makes me happy is walking along the brook near
my house. But I found out that my city is
dumping sewage in the brook. So I've been trying with
a bunch of friends community members to stop this problem.
And that activism itself makes me happy. But what really
made me happy this week was that we invited the
(42:49):
Commissioner of the Massachusetts Department of Conservation and Recreation, the
guy who's in charge of all the parks for the
whole state of Massachusetts, to come visit. And he agreed
to meet with us and walk along the brook. And
there was a massive storm on Monday, freeze down, power outages,
massive amounts of rain. And he came anyway, and he
(43:11):
walked up and down the brook, and a great blue
heron flew out of the freeze over our heads. And
he took pictures, and he was interested, and he listened
and he cared. And it's so wonderful when a government
official hairs and is interested in solving a problem.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
That is great. Gwen, thank you so yeah, that's great.
Thank you so much for that call. I think I
can probably squeeze one more in and I will go
to Sarah in Alabama. Hi, Sarah, Welcome to the middle
What made you happy this year?
Speaker 15 (43:48):
So this year I graduated in nursing school as an
adult learner, and I am working as a room care nurse,
which has been my dream for manny, and my husband
is now tenured at the University of Alabama. So I'm
very proud of all the work he's put in for that,
(44:10):
and our child got into art school this year.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Wow, that's great.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
So you've been wonderful. You got your dream job, graduated,
and your child also got into art school he is.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
That's great, Sarah, congratulations on all of that.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
You know, Charlie and Neil, it's like making people other
people that they love feel better doing something that they
enjoy being outside. Those are seems like three running themes
here tonight.
Speaker 7 (44:50):
Yeah, we heard a lot about health too, right, We've
turn a little about health.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
People passing away.
Speaker 7 (44:54):
I say, the one hundred and fifteen billion people have
ever lived ever total, in the world, in history forever.
If you're listening to this right now, where you're one
of the eight billion people alive today, Let's remember we
already won the lottery. Fourteen out of every fifteen people
don't get to be here and give everything they got
to enjoy one more day. Let's listen to all these
things that make each other happy, in ourselves happy, and
let's just reinvest I'm mentally thinking about that myself. How
(45:17):
do I reinvest in these simple things that make me happy?
Speaker 1 (45:21):
And Charlie you know, yeah, I did notice that we
got to hear a lot of different Midwest accents this evening.
Could you tell the difference.
Speaker 6 (45:28):
Between Yeah, we heard a little Minnesota, a little greater
Chicago area. I mean, you, guys, that is just the
butter on my cheese. I'll tell you that right now.
So it's just keep representing that makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (45:42):
Okay, what is your How are you going to celebrate
the holidays, Charlie Barns.
Speaker 6 (45:48):
I'm gonna hang out with my big family and I'm
going to do some bird watching. The red breasted Merganzas
are in, so I mean that is a sexy bird.
Speaker 4 (45:58):
Guys.
Speaker 6 (45:58):
I don't want to get to uh, you know, I
don't want to go into their mating rituals. This is
public radio and everything, but you should watch it sometime
through the noox. It's pretty exciting.
Speaker 14 (46:11):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Before we go, Tolliver has a quiz for both of you.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Tolliver, I sure do. Uh So, according to an article
in the Forbes, which generation is the happiest at work?
Speaker 10 (46:22):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Is it gen Z, Millennials, gen X or boomers? What
do you got? Just jump in when you got it?
Speaker 5 (46:29):
Boom.
Speaker 6 (46:30):
Yeah, I was going to say that too.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
It's millennials, isn't that shock?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
It's millennials.
Speaker 6 (46:35):
Interesting.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
I know, like sixty percent millennials are happy at work. Stunning.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Why did you say boomers? Why did you say boomers?
Both of you?
Speaker 5 (46:45):
I just yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (46:48):
I just figure, Oh, he was tricking me.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
Yeah, I'm a millennial and I'm having a great time.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Yeah right, Uh, well, well, I want to thank my guests.
Neil pas Rica, author of the book of awesome series
The Happiness Equation, host of the podcast Three Books with
Neil Pasricha.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Neil, so great to have you on. Thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (47:08):
Thank you, Jeremy, thank you, Charlie. That was a lot
of fun, guys.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
And Charlie Barns, comedian, YouTube star, author of The Midwest
Survival Guide.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Charlie, thank you so much.
Speaker 10 (47:17):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (47:17):
This was a real pleasure.
Speaker 5 (47:19):
Made me happy.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
Good made me happy too. Tolliver, what do we have
on tap for next week's show?
Speaker 3 (47:23):
Yeah, with twenty twenty three almost in the rearview mirror,
we're asking what was the most important story of the
year in your community. You can call us at eight
four four four middle and let us know.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
And by the way, Tliver as you know. We have
a weekly newsletter is free. People can sign up at
listen to theemiddle dot com.
Speaker 3 (47:38):
Yes, We're also available as a podcast in partnership with
iHeart Podcasts on the iheartapp or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
The Middle is brought to you by Long Nook Media,
distributed by Illinois Public Media in Urbana, Illinois, and produced
by Joanne Jennings, Harrison Patino, John Barth, Danny Alexander, and
Charlie Little. Our technical director is Jason Croft. Our theme
music was composed by Andrew Haig. Thanks to Nashville Public Radio,
iHeartMedia and the more than three hundred and seventy public
(48:05):
radio stations that are making it possible for people across
the country to listen to The Middle, I'm Jeremy Hobson
from all of us at the Middle. Have a merry Christmas,
and I'll talk to you next week.
Welcome to the Middle. I'm Jeremy Hobson, and as always,
Tolliver is here.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi, Tolliver, Hey Jeremy.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
So since we launched this show back in September, we
have covered all sorts of topics, from wars in Ukraine
and Gaza to the rise of artificial intelligence to inflation.
But I am so excited for this show because people
always say the media are too negative.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
So this hour to fix that.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
We are asking listeners what made them happy in twenty
twenty three. Our number is eight four four four Middle.
That's eight four four four six four three three five
three before we get to calls, before we get to
our guests, let me put that to you.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What made you happy this year? Tolliver?
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Sure, well, I fell in love Jeremy, all right, I
gave a Ted talk this year, and I told my
mom how to text two years got.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Oh, good for you. That's good for you? All right?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well, I could not be well, first of all, I
have there are many things that made me happy.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
You have made me happy. The launch of this show
has made me happy.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I do love long walks and I like the beach.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
But that seems too cliche to put the two together,
so I won't. But anyway, I couldn't be happier about
our guests right now. From Toronto, Neil pasricha author of
many books, most notably the international bestsellers The Happiness Equation
and the Book of Awesome series.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Neil, Welcome to the Middle.
Speaker 5 (01:18):
Thanks for having me. Jeremy, good to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
It's great to have you and joining us from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Charlie Barns, stand up comedian, YouTube star, son of Wisconsin,
host of The Cripes Cast podcast, and author of the
Midwest Survival Guide. Charlie, great to have you on the
Middle as well.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
Oh, thank you so much, son of Wisconsin. Wasn't expecting that,
but probably uncalled for it, but I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You know, I am from Illinois. Tolliver is also from Illinois.
I know you Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I don't always hold us in the highest regard.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
It's not Illinois. It's just loving the Bears is something
we gotta get over emotionally.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
You know, Charlie, we are both from big families. By
the way, I am one of seven. You are one
of twelve, right all right?
Speaker 5 (01:58):
Your mass produced too.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I like, do you see them all at the holidays.
Speaker 6 (02:03):
Yeah, yeah, I do. And usually it's a good experience.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Really, that's good. We like to do like like one
on one, two on two. You put us all together,
there's going to be a fight.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Oh we'll fight.
Speaker 6 (02:16):
But that's part of what makes a good experience.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Well, Uh, I have to ask you, Charlie before we
before we move on. You know, one of the things
about your comedy is putting a focus on uh.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
The middle on the Midwest.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
You try to bring the idea of Midwest nice to
a national audience. I wonder if you could just explain
to our listeners, especially those who are not in the Midwest,
what that means.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
What is Midwest nice?
Speaker 6 (02:40):
You know, it's it's a be nice first, ask questions
later kind of deal. Like if you see, you know
there's a little some growing in your neighbor's gutter, for instance,
you know you see a little plant grown in there. Well,
you know they haven't cleaned out their gutters. You can
go attempt to clean out their gutters and possibly trespass
along the way, and you're just gonna accept the consequences
(03:01):
of trespassing because you know, you got to be nice first.
Get arrest to explain this to the police afterwards. I
wouldn't do that at night.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
By the way, speaking.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
From experience get you into trouble.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Speak to you an experience, Neil Pasrica, you are the
expert on happiness, not just finding things to be happy about,
but how to keep wellness and gratitude a part of
daily life.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
What is the secret to happiness?
Speaker 7 (03:26):
There's many secrets to happiness. A big one is not
sleeping beside our cell phones. Right now, almost everyone is
doing that. I say, get the phones away from your
bedside table when you wake up in the morning. Instead,
do three simple prompts. I will let go of I
am grateful for. I will focus on helps put your
brain in a positive mindset before you get out of bed.
And I think that's a really big step all of us,
(03:48):
including me, can take to be a little happier.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
When you do the I will let go of. Do
you actually let go of it for the day?
Speaker 7 (03:55):
Yeah, there's You know, it turns out that all the
religions were right. You know, most every world religion has
a form of repentance or you know, confession built into
the religious practice hundreds of religions over thousands of years.
But the faster growing religion is not the faster religion
in the US and Canada, or I am is none.
I say, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Turns out it's actually really good for your brain. A
(04:16):
lot of research shows if you write down something, you'll
let go of someone you're comparing yourself to some nasty
text you sent to your sister that you feel bad about.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
That actually helps put it out of your brain so
you aren't thinking about it all day.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
So what made you happy this year?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
If you had to pick one thing, Neil.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
Well, you just heard me rant about cell phones.
Speaker 7 (04:34):
A big thing that makes me happy is whenever I'm
together with friends or family and people aren't looking at
their phones.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
I'm not saying it happens all the time.
Speaker 7 (04:40):
But if you ever get it through a meal or
through a conversation and you're just like, hey, we went
half an hour without people.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Look, those are my happiest moments.
Speaker 8 (04:49):
Of the year.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Charlie, what about you? What made you happy this year?
Speaker 6 (04:53):
You know, I cleaned my basement and that was really good.
Growing up by I was used to clean the garage
with my dad, or go up to my grandpa's and
clean the garage, and it's like we've cleaned these things
a thousand times. But now I'm starting to realize, you know,
clean the basement, you just kind of clean out your
mind a little bit, you know, and when you.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Can see what you have there that you don't need.
Speaker 6 (05:17):
Like there was a puzzle there, and there was this
lego set I didn't even remember I had it, and
there's a little truck. I took it over to my
uh my brother's house, give it to my nieces and
nephews and they got it was just sitting in my basement,
but they loved it all, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I read an article today that in the movie Home Alone,
that there were mannequins in the basement and that that
is an indication that the mother and Home Alone was
in the fashion industry. And there was also a theory
that the that the mccallisters were a crime family and
that anyway.
Speaker 6 (05:51):
It makes me happy right now that deep the Home.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Alone, we got, we got some we got some calls
coming in. Let's go to Ivan in Detroit. Ivan, Welcome
to the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 9 (06:06):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (06:06):
Hello, Jeremy. Yeah, I want to say thank you very
much for your show man. I love it. This is
like the highlight of my Thursday.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Thank you so much. You so other than the middle.
What made you happy this year?
Speaker 10 (06:22):
Well? I live in in Doneraue, Detroit, and my family,
most of my family lives in Texas and Houston, and
especially my Surgate grandparents lived in Houston. So these are
my mother's uncle and aunt and they adopted my mother.
(06:45):
So growing up, I always knew them as my grandparents.
That's how I was raised. And we got to be
with them a couple of months ago, a few months
ago and celebrate did their fiftieth anniversary. So because they
were so special to me, it was so wonderful to
(07:07):
be over there. And one of my lifelong dreams was
to have a cookout with my grandpa. And even though
he was, you know, very delicate as far as his
health was, he we so had a great time and
we had the cookout, I got to see him smile,
(07:28):
and you know, I got to make some final good
memories with him. He passed away last month, and it
was also wonderful, you know, Aside from that, it was
also wonderful that my family got to honor him in
a wonderful way. The family bought a beautiful erm for him.
Speaker 11 (07:53):
Yeah, and it's just it's amazing, it really is.
Speaker 10 (07:58):
That even though go ahead, I was just gonna.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Say, I'm so happy that you were able to do that.
That's really great and I really appreciate you calling in
Neil Pasrika. A lot of people probably would, I mean
certainly be very happy to be able to experience their
grandparents or even their surrogate grandparents' fiftieth wedding anniversary. But
I imagine family is something that comes up with a
lot of people in terms of what makes them happy.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 7 (08:23):
The nineteen thirty eight Harvard Adolt Development Study, the longest
study in happiness ever done in history, shows that community
and connection is the number one driver of long term
happiness more than anything else. You know, anyone's else you
go to and you wear your slippers in. You know,
the people that you feel comfortable calling or getting a
call from or a text from late at night.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
Those intimate relationships make us happy.
Speaker 7 (08:45):
So I agree, I love that story, I've been thank
you for sharing it. And absolutely, Jeremy, the next one's
friends and family is so important, especially right now when
loneliness is at an all time high.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Let's go to Mordecai in Raleigh, North Carolina. Mordecai, Welcome
to the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Yes, hey, y'all. What made me happy was the is
the fact that I retired this year. So I'm happy
that I no longer have to work. I'm free. I
can control my own destiny on a regular basis every
day throughout the day. In addition to that, I have
a road bike and a mountain bike, so I can
(09:26):
get out on my road bike or a mountain bike.
There's just some wonderful trails in Raleigh, North Carolina that
I can, you know, ride through. I attend mass now
on a regular, consistent basis every day. I can take
time to cook my healthy meals, eat healthy There's just
(09:47):
so many things that I can now do on a
regular basis that make me happy in terms of being
able to control my own destiny.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
So you don't think you're going to get bored without
a job now now that you're retired.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Absolutely not. No, There's just so many things that are
available to people to do. I mean, you know, whether
they want to volunteer, I can do a little volunteer work,
or if I want to do that, there's just a lot
of things that are there to occupy one's time. So
(10:25):
I would encourage anyone that is thinking about retirement to
and if they can do it, and they can manage
it financially, to go ahead and do it.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Do it all right, Mordecai, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Charlie Burns.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
By the way, as a as a comedian, do you
anticipate ever retiring or is this going to be something
where you're like one of these comedians that goes to
one hundred.
Speaker 6 (10:47):
I mean, I feel like I'm already retired in some ways,
you know. The lucky thing about my job. I mean,
I started working for a young age being want to
twelve kids, and I did that to get out of
doing the free work at my house. By the way,
but I think since I found like my passion, like
(11:11):
I love writing, and I'm able to do that and
I really enjoy it. That said, there are certainly parts
of my gig that you know, I kind of do
because I want to just be on stage, you know,
so you.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Know, Tolliver.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Last year there was a Gallup poll that found that
people in general are more stressed out and less happy
now than they have ever been.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Well, Jeremy, that's why I want you to listen to
this clip of Dumbledore from the two thousand and four
movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Speaker 12 (11:42):
But you know, happiness is found even in the dark
coast of times, if I only remembers to turn on
the light.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yes, some wise words from our favorite fictional wizard, Alvis Dumbledore.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
And by the way, stay right there because we've got
more calls coming up. And if you are a loyal
Middle podcast listener, go ahead and rate us where you
listen to your podcast. Let's get those ratings up and
some really nice rats. We'll be right back after this break.
This is the Middle. I'm Jeremy Hobson. If you're just tuning,
in the Middle is a national call in show. We
(12:21):
are focused on elevating voices from the middle geographically, politically,
and philosophically, or maybe you just want.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
To meet in the middle.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
This hour, we're asking what made you happy in twenty
twenty three, Tolliver, what's that phone number again?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
It's eight four four four Middle. That's eight four four
four six four three three five three.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I am joined now by Neil pasricha author of the
Book of awesome and the Happiness Equation and Milwaukee based
comedian and YouTube star Charlie Barns, author of The Midwest
Survival Guide.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Before we get back to the.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Phones, uh Neil, let me ask you, what about people
who say, you know, I just spent the last six
hours on TikTok or worse at X. Everything is terrible
in the world. How can I possibly be happy?
Speaker 5 (13:05):
I can relate to that feeling.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
And you know what, our time outdoors is an all
time low right now, Jeremy. According to the American Time
You study, where kids are spending seven percent of their
times outside.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
It's never been lower. You multiplied seven.
Speaker 7 (13:18):
Percent by seven days a week, it means it takes
a kid a whole week to spend half a day outside.
The reason that's important to not is because when you
go outside, you're breathing all these chemicals trees released called
Bayton sides that actually lower your corsol, lower your adrenaline,
and yes, in fact, do make us happier.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Problem is, the internet doesn't make money.
Speaker 7 (13:34):
When you go inside, you never see an ad for
trees on Instagram. A big solution to a lot of
the stress would carry is just to leave your phone inside,
go take a walk.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Charlie heard it.
Speaker 7 (13:44):
I just heard Mordecai talk about mountain biking and it
sounded like he was pretty happy about that.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
That's the recipe right there, absolutely, Charlie.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Do you think that, since you are somebody with a
huge social media following, that you actually are part of
the problem.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
Yeah, part of the problem. And I agree the solution
is go outside.
Speaker 9 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
I hate all a lot about my phone.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Hate maybe a strong word.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
There's some good in it, you know, but it's just
you gotta sip through a lot of the garbage. You know.
I'm not going to say what I create if it's
good or garbage, but you know it's out there. But
I agree with and I didn't know. Trees released like
dopamine stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
That's awesome.
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Yeah, byton Sides, that's like, that's the new drug. Folks
get after it.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Christmas trees have that because maybe that's why people are
happy with the holidays. Mostly, let's get back to the phones.
And Victor in uh Fort Myers, Florida, is with us high.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Victor, welcome to the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 11 (14:47):
Hey, so the middle of this year? Hold on a moment,
my wat's getting home middle of this year. Earlier, the
doctors showed concern for what they thought was my wife
having breast cancer. And after fighting with the insurance company,
(15:09):
which is a big story here, that is the same
story every day, doesn't matter if it's helped insurance, home
matures or whatever.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Insurance.
Speaker 11 (15:15):
But after a week and a half of testing and
diagnosing and diagnostics, she was declared. It was declared that
she did not have breast cancer. It was just some
kind of calcious bumps. Yeah. So yes, And I kind
of surprised her when I told her that i'd be
saying something about it. She's like, oh, so that's that's
(15:38):
what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Yeah, that's exactly who you had the phone with.
Speaker 11 (15:44):
So but I appreciate taking my call, and everybody out.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
There, congratulations to you answer your wife. I really appreciate
your call, Neil. I got to think that a lot
of people, you know, for a lot of people, some
of the most happy news they could ever get is
as good health is when there's something they're worried about
and then they find out that it's not as bad
as they thought.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Absolutely, health is a big deal.
Speaker 7 (16:09):
Everyone says, you know, everybody's got nine to nine problems
that somebody with the health concern has won, right, and
our health experience really.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Does lead to lots of positives. There's the story we
just heard.
Speaker 7 (16:19):
There's also you know, showing up the walking clinic and
there's miraculously no way to getting these positive diagnosis. Anything
related to health is very impactful. Fact, just before we
called in for the show, I was texting with my dad,
who's experiencing high blood pressure right now. I'm going to
check in with him right after we're done, and so
it's on my mind too.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Everybody out there who's going through something with.
Speaker 7 (16:37):
Help, sending you love, hope you feel better, and absolutely
it's the number one thing.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Jay is with us from Iowa. Hi, Jay, Welcome to
the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 13 (16:48):
Well, I grew up on welfare back in the nineteen
seventies and eighties, and this year I made enough money
to send my wife to Hawaii this month with a
friend of ours who has a timeshare and we live very,
very cheaply, so it was decent to be able to.
(17:10):
It just made me feel really good that I was
able to send her to way. I don't want to fly.
You didn't she got to experience a I didn't go
because I don't want to fly. I'm a little scared
of that. But she had never been to Hawaii, so
she got to go and that made me very happy
(17:30):
that they had a great time.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Which island did you did you send her?
Speaker 13 (17:36):
She went to the Big Island?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Nice, beautiful, great.
Speaker 13 (17:41):
That just made Yeah, that just made me feel really
good that I was able to do that despite growing
up on food stamps and welfare.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
That is awesome though.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, well, thank you so much for that call. Really
appreciate it. Let's uh, let's get to another one. Alice
is in Hatchog, New York. Alice, Welcome to the middle.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
What made you happy this year?
Speaker 8 (18:07):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Alice?
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Yes, hi, Hi?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
What made you happy this year?
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Oh? Great?
Speaker 14 (18:15):
Thanks for taking my call. You know, I think this
might sound a little strange, but I'm sure you'll understand
by the time i'm done. My beloved father, Jim, he
passed away this past June. But what made me happy
about that situation was I got to meet the most
wonderful people from Good Shepherd Hospice in where I live
(18:36):
in Port Jefferson, Long Island, and they made that experience
that can be so fearful, especially when you love someone
so dearly. They changed that experience for me into the
most precious gift that I could have ever imagined, you know,
being able to comfort my father on his very last
(18:56):
you know, in his last.
Speaker 8 (18:57):
Day days of life. And that makes me happy. It's
a memory that I'll always cherished, that something he wanted
so badly was to be home, and for me to
be able to, with their help with the hospice help hospice,
be able to give that to him, with old nurturing,
all the love that I could possibly give and you
(19:19):
I just felt like a real honor and it makes
me very happy to think I was able to do
that for him.
Speaker 11 (19:25):
That's my story.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you so much. Alice really appreciate that. Yeah,
Charlie Bearns.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
You know, as you listen to these calls from all
over the country and so many really personal stories, what
do you what do you think I mean that.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
You know that last story to Alice, which you're saying
about being able to give that to her husband. I
mean you can tell how much that that made her feel.
And then I think it was Jay sending you know,
his life to why you know, it's kind of like,
what makes you really feel is doing so thing for
(20:00):
someone else, you know, I mean that that makes you
happy quite a bit because you can you I find that,
you know, especially maybe as you take off or you
can buy something for yourself, it doesn't feel as good
as buying it for someone else.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
So yeah, absolutely, let's go to Anna in South Bend, Indiana. Anna,
Welcome to the middle. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 5 (20:24):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Anna?
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Okay, five second rule? I guess so you know, actually,
Charlie Barns, I know that you spent time as a journalist.
You were a journalist early in your earlier in your career,
you went to journalism school, you did. Yeah, so well,
first of all, what made you decide to go the
comedy root instead of sticking with the journalism.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
I was just doing various types of everything from local
news to you know, I moved around the country doing this.
I was doing local news in Dallas, I was in
Los Angeles to red carpets, and I just didn't really
care about the stuff I was reporting on at that point,
So I started doing stand up at night and then
(21:10):
I was, you know, making jokes about all the things
people said when I was reporting in news, which was
that I had an accent, you know, which is obviously false, folks.
But then I found once I was on stage and
I was able to kind of talk about that stuff,
that there was a lot of people relating to it,
(21:31):
and that really got me going into comedy and I
haven't really looked back ever since.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Do you think that the news generally is pretty depressing
or like, how do you feel about whether it makes
you happy, whether it makes you happy to pay attention
to what's going on in the world or not.
Speaker 6 (21:49):
Yeah, you know, I mean, I think that there's this
one Bible passage that it's like, the poor will always
be with us, and it's kind of a confusing passage
for some people. And I promise this relates to what
you're taught talking about. But you know, I'm not a
biblical scholar by any means. I've just read the Bible
from here to there. But I think that whole thing
the poor will always be with us, The news will
(22:10):
always be bad, there will always be people dying somewhere.
It doesn't mean you give up on it, but it
means that you realize that you do what you can
for those people as much as you can, and then
you realize you don't have the ego to solve everything
in the world. I think that's what I took from
a bit, and so with news. It always made me
happy to like find something or report on something, especially
(22:34):
more of an investigative piece, to like help people see
something maybe they didn't see before. You know, at the
end of the day, it really wasn't for me. I mean,
comedy was more for me, But I really do enjoy
the news, and especially the good local journalism that a
lot of folks are doing.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Neil, then back to you about the issue of the
news and how depressing it can be, especially as we
head into this twenty twenty four election, which I'm sure
is going to be pretty difficult for a lot of people.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Well, you know, Charlie said, I like the good local news.
I agree with that.
Speaker 7 (23:05):
The problem is that most news, most news isn't local anymore.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
We got these things in the center of our brain.
Speaker 7 (23:10):
They've been evolving three million years, called our Amigdala's right.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
It's while we all rubberneck on the highway.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
So why when you get a blood test back from
your doctor, you scan for the high cholesterol, you get
a math test back from your teacher. You want to
check out the one that you got wrong. Our brain's
a program to look for problems, so sometimes that's all
we see news media. Social media is designed to give
us endless negativity, so you can't stop looking, so you
get more ads. And so the design of the system
(23:36):
right now is really really bad.
Speaker 5 (23:38):
For our mental health.
Speaker 7 (23:39):
And it's part of the reason why Surgeon General Vivic
Murphy's thinks that you know, one in two American adults
right now says that they're lonely, which is.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
Worse for our health than smoking fifteen cigarettes than loneliness is.
Speaker 7 (23:48):
So one of the solutions I really advocate to cultivate
a more positive mindset is just to read fiction from
a real book. The Annual Psychology says that reading a
couple pages of fiction tonight, just a couple of pages,
actually opens up the mirror neurons in your brain responsible
for empathy, compassion understanding. If when you listen to the
(24:11):
conversations and the calls not you feel empathetic.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Passionate understanding.
Speaker 7 (24:15):
Hearing about retired mountain bikers and hearing about sending your
wife to Hawaii and all these stories, that's the same
thing that happens when you read a story from another gender,
another world, part of the world, another time of the world.
So reading a couple of pages of fiction before bed
is a big happiness practice. And the reason that comes
down so hard on it is because fifty seven percent
(24:36):
of Americans read zero books last year. The numbers at
an all time high, So we actually have to recultivate
this practice that most of us had going for us
when we were kids.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Charlie, how many books did you read last year?
Speaker 6 (24:47):
Oh, don't ask question. Come on, I mean half of one?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Okay, none?
Speaker 10 (24:56):
None?
Speaker 8 (24:57):
Wow? That is zero.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
I know. I'm sorry, Neil, round up, don't round down.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
You know we are getting some comments online. You can
reach out at listen to the middle dot com and
go to all of our social media there, Tolliver, what
are people saying?
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Yeah, Carrie and Fleming Island, Florida says what made me
happy in twenty twenty three was reverting at age sixty
five to youthful behaviors by going to a lot of
rock concerts. One was a four day festival, some were
two night affairs, and I traveled quite a ways to
do it. As a bona fide dancing fool. I want
younger folks to see that it's okay to hoot, holler
and dance like nobody's watching. Nice he's better than me
four days. Yeah, I got a hat stage yay.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Best.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
David in Cleveland Heights, Ohio says what may be happy
in Ohio is when people of all parties came together
to support citizens' rights to amend our constitution. Personally speaking, though,
it always makes me happy when I see my almost
teen daughter enjoying time with her friends, more family, you know.
And then Mindy in my home city of Chicago says
in twenty twenty three, I'm pleased that both my sons
twenty eight and twenty five are employed and actually like
(25:53):
their positions. That's rare that age. We spend so much
time at work that it is a shame. So many
of us do not want to be where we are employed,
but have to stay. Yes, we can look for other jobs,
though I'm sure so many people would agree for me
with me that finding something better isn't always possible.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, yeah, well, by the way of just getting word
and so the reason that we've had phone issues in
the past is because the system's overloaded. I think this
question was too easy, and so therefore the phone lines
are completely up. So I'm going to try again, because
you know what might as well. I love having the
callers call in here. So, Karen in Kansas City, Missouri,
(26:29):
can you hear me?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Are you there?
Speaker 5 (26:33):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (26:33):
I'm fine. I'm not hearing you very well.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Okay, Well you're hearing me.
Speaker 11 (26:37):
Okay, I can hear you.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Okay. So tell us what made you happy this year?
Speaker 9 (26:42):
Well, it made me happy was planting trees and actually
getting a whole crew of people to plant them and
water them with me. I am very, very worried about
the climate, and it's hard to know what to do
about the climate. And I decided that getting trees in
the ground was to be the best thing I could use.
(27:03):
So I got trees for free from a source over
in Saint Louis, and I gathered some friends together and
we got in October, we got about forty six trees
in the ground, street trees, and I knocked on doors
of people nearby, whether they were working by or living nearby,
(27:25):
and said, will you please water this tree for the
next two years? And it blew my mind how many
people said absolutely, absolutely, I will help with this project. Yes,
it was the biggest thrill of my life this past year.
I planned to continue next year. What they were kind
(27:46):
of trees? Yeah, Well, I'm a big believer in oak trees.
I know that we don't have enough oak trees. I
only plant trees that are native to this area. And
I know that oak trees Number one, they get really big,
they really create a lot of shade, and number two,
they provide many ecosystem They they provide a lot of
(28:07):
ecosystem value. To say, you know, they're important for insects
to eat their leaves, and I guess that's that's kind
of the main thing.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Well, really appreciate that, Karen.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I'm glad you were able to do that and that
it made you so happy. I have to say, I
I planted a tree several years ago in a house
I used to live in. Two trees actually, and I
still will drive by and the people that live there
now probably think I'm crazy, But I just want to
see how my little babies are doing.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, and I get that book.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
What is that?
Speaker 2 (28:42):
You know, Tolliver?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
It is the holiday season, as you know, and just
about every ad that we watch is telling us that
if we buy the product, we will be happy.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
It's been like that for quite some time. Jeremy. Here's
an old commercial that tells us that the secret of
a happy marriage is actually a cup of Folders instant coffee.
Speaker 15 (29:00):
Did you ever see Larry looking so happy?
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Holy happiness is a vacation.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Away from your coughing Larry. Oh, missus Olsen. He's always
ranting about my coffee. But I guess it really isn't
any good now.
Speaker 8 (29:15):
Now, good coffee is no problem.
Speaker 12 (29:17):
All you need is a coffee with better flavors Poliers.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Unfortunately, we are not getting any money from Folders.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Why no.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
But you know, as we near the end of the
year and you're making tax seductible contributions to organizations you
care about, you could make the Middle one of them.
At Listen to the Middle dot com, we appreciate your support.
We'll be right back with more right after this break.
This is the Middle. I'm Jeremy Hobson. This hour we're
asking you what made you happy this year. Our number
(29:48):
is eight four four four Middle. You can also reach
out to us at Listen to the Middle dot com.
Our guests are Neil pasricha author of the book of
Awesome series and the Happiness Equation and comedian Charlie Barn's
before we go back to the phone. Charlie, you know,
one of the reasons obviously you are not an expert
on happiness, you're a comedian, But one of the reasons
that I wanted to have you on this show this
(30:10):
hour is because you make people laugh.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Laughing makes people happy. What was the.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Best joke that you told this year that you can
think of right now that you can remember at.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
This moment, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Or just one of your favorites of all time.
Speaker 6 (30:25):
You are really putting me on. Yeah, you know, I mean,
I love talking about my family like i'd be like,
you know, I said it earlier, I said, I'm one
of twelve kids. I'm mass produced. That's Andy, Charlie, Billy, Betsy, Megaetti, Mary,
Kate Gentleman, Nor Bridget, Eli, Frank. You know that's so
many kids. I just said thirteen names, and you guys
(30:46):
didn't even know the difference. So you know, I mean,
those are old jokes, but it's what's off the top
of my head. But yeah, really, there's nothing better than
making a crowd laugh at something that you think is
funny too.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I have to say.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
One of the I was watching that you did that
made me laugh was about roundabouts and how how people
from the Midwest handle them.
Speaker 6 (31:09):
Yeah, you know, I mean you would think that if
you were designing a round about, you would not test
market it in the Midwest because where it's oh, no
after you, no, I ins af no you hey, here
have some root barb. They're handing out the thing, you know,
and the only people in the middle going round and
round are for Milanois, you know, because they're the only
(31:29):
ones who are assertive in the Midwest.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
So that's one of the.
Speaker 6 (31:33):
Things you got to watch out for.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
You have stories about that time.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Yeah, I'm from Chicago. When I moved to me to Apolis,
I'm a jaywalker because I'm from Chicago, and I will
jaywalk to time for the cars to pass me. But
they'll just stop in the middle of the street and
let me pass like it's your turn.
Speaker 5 (31:46):
Go.
Speaker 6 (31:46):
Yeah, that breaks up the whole jaywalking thing if you
can't predict that they're just in a rush past you
like they sah know.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Neil past Richa, is there a How connected is laughter
and happiness.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
And you know it produces the right chemical.
Speaker 7 (32:03):
We'll go back to the chemicals again, chemicals in your
body and make it feel good, especially when we're laughing
together in a group post pandemic, getting back into those
comedy clubs, being with people on a movie theater.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
That type of stuff is really valuable.
Speaker 7 (32:15):
I was just thinking, I went to the movie theater
the other day, and you know, the best seat in
the movie theater, Jeremy, tell me if you agree, is
when you're sitting in that one seat that has the
metal bar in front of you. It doesn't block a view,
but it's perfect height for a foot rest. There's like
one chair and everything.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
That disabled people in the theater. Are you allowed to
sit in that one? I don't know.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
I have not asked that question before.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
All right, Uh, let's go to the phones. Maria is
in Birmingham, Alabama. Hi Maria, what made you happy this year?
Speaker 16 (32:49):
Hello?
Speaker 17 (32:51):
One of the things that made me most happy this
year was teaching English as the second language to immigrants
from Mexico and Central America. I became a graduate student
at age fifty seven and was given the opportunity to
teach English to students in the university Community program, which
(33:17):
is free for them to attend and it was just
so wonderful seeing their faces light up as they were
more able to communicate and socialize, and it was just
such a beautiful thing. They came here really wanting to
be part of the community, and it was so gratifying
(33:41):
to see them be able to communicate more and feel
more welcome and to belong. And at the end of
our class, we had a beautiful party and everyone made
food from their own country and it was just a
great celebration.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Well that sounds great, Maria, thank you so much for
that call. You know, Neil, I'm just that made me
think of the issue of communicating and how happy you
are when you are able to communicate, especially if you
aren't able to begin with. I'm thinking about people have
talked about babies that one of the reasons that they
cry as much as they do is because they cannot
communicate what they want. And so a lot of people
(34:24):
will teach their babies sign language before they can talk,
because then at least they can tell their mom or
their dad what they're after exactly.
Speaker 7 (34:31):
Putting the fingers together for more, wiping the hands together
for all done.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
And I love Maria's comment that I'm learning I'm teaching
EESL at fifty seven. Right.
Speaker 7 (34:40):
It kind of reminds me of Mordecai saying, hey, getting
into volunteering and retirement. Yeah, a lot of people have
this misnomer that you know, retirement either makes you happy
or doesn't make you happy. What the research actually shows
that if you have four s's in your life at
any age that combines for happiness. They are social, so
being together with people, structure, having a reason to get
out of bed in the morning, stimulation all was learning
(35:02):
something new, whether that's asl or mountain biking. And story
being part of something bigger than yourselves. If you have
those four US's, social, structure, stimulation, and story, you can
usually find happiness with or without a paying job.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
All right, Murphy is joining us from Saint Paul, Minnesota. Murphy,
what made you happy this year?
Speaker 6 (35:23):
Hi?
Speaker 18 (35:23):
There? Well, early this year I had to have cataract surgery.
I was losing my site and I hadn't quite reached
my deductible and my insurance yet, so the bills were
coming due and I was really nervous about it, and
my best friend set up a goalfundme to try to
raise money to make sure I can make my medical
expenses and kind of spread it around to friends and
(35:46):
social media, and we reached the goal in four days.
My friends and coworkers rallied and I was able to
raise the money to pay for my surgeries. So not
only has my site been restored and I can see
better than I have, you know, since I was a kid,
but I hit the jackpot on friends and that just
changed everything for me.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
It just did.
Speaker 18 (36:08):
So I'm still waking up in the morning like seeing
branches and birds and everything's perfect. And I'm still so
grateful that I have the best friends in the entire
world that really rallied around me.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
That's great. And you feel like a new person with
after your cataract surgery.
Speaker 18 (36:25):
I haven't seen this way since I was six years old. Yeah,
it really has changed everything. It's uh, you know, I'm
not squinting and I can see for miles and I'm
so grateful because I can really see my friends now too.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
That is great.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Thank you so much for that call, Murphy, And you
know what We've got Mia in Chicago, Mia, what made
you happy this year?
Speaker 8 (36:47):
This year?
Speaker 19 (36:48):
I got a much needed divorce. Wow, and that made
me happy?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Made you happy to get the divorce.
Speaker 19 (36:58):
I mean, the divorce is needed. And the reason it
made me happy is that it made me become an
independent person and a part time single mom. And as
part of that, I've been a teacher for twenty years,
but I took a new job working with neurodiverse kids,
(37:19):
so kids on the autism spectum, and doing that every
day has made me happy. And you know, I look
back at last Christmas and I look at this Christmas,
and you know, my son is happy and healthy, and
I'm happy and every day is full of joy, and
(37:41):
I can look back and say that, you know, that
divorce was a good thing and it has bought so
much happiness to the people it's touched this year.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Great Mia, thank you so much for that call, Neil,
Charlie your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
A divorce that makes you happy.
Speaker 7 (37:59):
There is some research Richard Thaler believe undercover economists, if
I have it right, that shows that the higher the
instance of divorce in site, the higher this happiness too.
People are less financially dependent in the relationships they're able
to pursue.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
You know, you just heard the teaching of neurodiverse.
Speaker 7 (38:15):
Kids the past that they're cho they're that they're interested in.
So there is some research that suggests, hey, perhaps it's
an ingredient, not of a negative society. Oh wanted two
people get divorces terrible, but actually people like if I
hadn't got divorced when I was twenty eight, which I did,
I wouldn't be married to the woman I am today
and that has turned into a wonderful thing for me.
So you know, maybe this divorce is a step towards
(38:36):
something else, or something different or something better.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
Yeah, I got I got divorced too. And you know,
I will say this with happiness and divorce. We do
all these wedding registries for people who are getting married.
Those are the people with their lives together. We got
to start doing divorce registries, you know, because I have
four samuraized sorts on my wall, but only one butter knife, Like,
where is my registry?
Speaker 10 (39:00):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (39:01):
But these are I think that divorce can make you happy,
but we need society to rally around the divorce folks.
How about the not doing so well dot com instead
not dot com? That's what I'm saying, putting it.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
Out there, that's what you need. The Bachelor party too.
Speaker 6 (39:17):
Yeah, there you go. That's it, because you're actually a bacheler,
then you're not really a bacheler when you're engaged.
Speaker 5 (39:22):
For God's sake.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
All right, let's go to Ann in Houston. Ann, welcome
to the middle Go ahead. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 16 (39:31):
Oh? So much. I have joined two book clubs. And
that means, besides the books that I pick on my own,
I've read twelve plus twelve other books. I've got plenty
of reading. And I'm meeting some wonderful people and they
belong to these groups. I'm in a writing group. They
help me write better, and I help them write better.
(39:54):
I'm able to just I signed up to give money
to help the people who are injured in the Middle East.
I that's I have trees.
Speaker 18 (40:09):
In my yard.
Speaker 16 (40:10):
I'm really enjoying the crisp winter weather that we're having
in Houston here. It's just right. It's it's crisp, it's
not too cold. I don't have to run the heat
or the air conditioner. I've met I already said, I
meant so oh. I have my brother over for dinner
every every week. I make something really good and he
(40:33):
enjoys it, and and my grandchildren and his grandchildren. I
have pictures of all of them in my entry hall.
I'm so proud of them. They're so beautiful. And I
even have a picture of my great grandfather among the
pictures in my all way.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
So just lots of things you're happy with, just about everything.
Speaker 16 (40:52):
It sounds like, yeah, I have the story and the
and the and the family at the social one of
the other. I have all of those.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
Speaker 7 (41:03):
Structure, stimulation and story and listen, Jeremy planning trees, singing, volunteering, teaching,
neurodiverse kids. Nobody's saying being online on Instagram right, even
though we're spending.
Speaker 5 (41:15):
Three to five hours a day on social media.
Speaker 7 (41:18):
I think a big ingredient we need to do as
a nation on happiness is we got to increase the
minimum age of social media from thirteen up to sixteen
or eighteen. There's a reason that TikTok shuts off in
China every single night at ten pm sharp across the
whole country every night.
Speaker 5 (41:33):
They turn it off, the whole thing. Yeah, and they
make it so we got to get why.
Speaker 7 (41:38):
So the fact that the things that make us happy
are often these simple pleasures that we're all talking about
in this wonderful show, and let's get wise and kind
of crank up the heat on some of these tech
companies that are putting us in a negative state with
the addictive technology.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
You know, I took a mini vacation a few weeks ago,
just for like four days, and turned a deleted all
of the social media apps on my phone so that
I couldn't look at them.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
I didn't delete the accounts.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
That would be the next step maybe, but for this time,
I just I just leaded them and it was great.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
It's like, it doesn't make you happy. It totally doesn't
make you happy.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
But that being said, we are on all the social media.
If you want to reach out to us, you can
find it all. Listen to the Middle dot com. Let's
get to Gwen in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Hi, Gwen, welcome to
the Middle.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Go ahead. What made you happy this year?
Speaker 5 (42:25):
So?
Speaker 20 (42:26):
What makes me happy is walking along the brook near
my house. But I found out that my city is
dumping sewage in the brook. So I've been trying with
a bunch of friends community members to stop this problem.
And that activism itself makes me happy. But what really
made me happy this week was that we invited the
(42:49):
Commissioner of the Massachusetts Department of Conservation and Recreation, the
guy who's in charge of all the parks for the
whole state of Massachusetts, to come visit. And he agreed
to meet with us and walk along the brook. And
there was a massive storm on Monday, freeze down, power outages,
massive amounts of rain. And he came anyway, and he
(43:11):
walked up and down the brook, and a great blue
heron flew out of the freeze over our heads. And
he took pictures, and he was interested, and he listened
and he cared. And it's so wonderful when a government
official hairs and is interested in solving a problem.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
That is great. Gwen, thank you so yeah, that's great.
Thank you so much for that call. I think I
can probably squeeze one more in and I will go
to Sarah in Alabama. Hi, Sarah, Welcome to the middle
What made you happy this year?
Speaker 15 (43:48):
So this year I graduated in nursing school as an
adult learner, and I am working as a room care nurse,
which has been my dream for manny, and my husband
is now tenured at the University of Alabama. So I'm
very proud of all the work he's put in for that,
(44:10):
and our child got into art school this year.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Wow, that's great.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
So you've been wonderful. You got your dream job, graduated,
and your child also got into art school he is.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
That's great, Sarah, congratulations on all of that.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
You know, Charlie and Neil, it's like making people other
people that they love feel better doing something that they
enjoy being outside. Those are seems like three running themes
here tonight.
Speaker 7 (44:50):
Yeah, we heard a lot about health too, right, We've
turn a little about health.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
People passing away.
Speaker 7 (44:54):
I say, the one hundred and fifteen billion people have
ever lived ever total, in the world, in history forever.
If you're listening to this right now, where you're one
of the eight billion people alive today, Let's remember we
already won the lottery. Fourteen out of every fifteen people
don't get to be here and give everything they got
to enjoy one more day. Let's listen to all these
things that make each other happy, in ourselves happy, and
let's just reinvest I'm mentally thinking about that myself. How
(45:17):
do I reinvest in these simple things that make me happy?
Speaker 1 (45:21):
And Charlie you know, yeah, I did notice that we
got to hear a lot of different Midwest accents this evening.
Could you tell the difference.
Speaker 6 (45:28):
Between Yeah, we heard a little Minnesota, a little greater
Chicago area. I mean, you, guys, that is just the
butter on my cheese. I'll tell you that right now.
So it's just keep representing that makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (45:42):
Okay, what is your How are you going to celebrate
the holidays, Charlie Barns.
Speaker 6 (45:48):
I'm gonna hang out with my big family and I'm
going to do some bird watching. The red breasted Merganzas
are in, so I mean that is a sexy bird.
Speaker 4 (45:58):
Guys.
Speaker 6 (45:58):
I don't want to get to uh, you know, I
don't want to go into their mating rituals. This is
public radio and everything, but you should watch it sometime
through the noox. It's pretty exciting.
Speaker 14 (46:11):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Before we go, Tolliver has a quiz for both of you.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Tolliver, I sure do. Uh So, according to an article
in the Forbes, which generation is the happiest at work?
Speaker 10 (46:22):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Is it gen Z, Millennials, gen X or boomers? What
do you got? Just jump in when you got it?
Speaker 5 (46:29):
Boom.
Speaker 6 (46:30):
Yeah, I was going to say that too.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
It's millennials, isn't that shock?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
It's millennials.
Speaker 6 (46:35):
Interesting.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
I know, like sixty percent millennials are happy at work. Stunning.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Why did you say boomers? Why did you say boomers?
Both of you?
Speaker 5 (46:45):
I just yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (46:48):
I just figure, Oh, he was tricking me.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
Yeah, I'm a millennial and I'm having a great time.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Yeah right, Uh, well, well, I want to thank my guests.
Neil pas Rica, author of the book of awesome series
The Happiness Equation, host of the podcast Three Books with
Neil Pasricha.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Neil, so great to have you on. Thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (47:08):
Thank you, Jeremy, thank you, Charlie. That was a lot
of fun, guys.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
And Charlie Barns, comedian, YouTube star, author of The Midwest
Survival Guide.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Charlie, thank you so much.
Speaker 10 (47:17):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (47:17):
This was a real pleasure.
Speaker 5 (47:19):
Made me happy.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
Good made me happy too. Tolliver, what do we have
on tap for next week's show?
Speaker 3 (47:23):
Yeah, with twenty twenty three almost in the rearview mirror,
we're asking what was the most important story of the
year in your community. You can call us at eight
four four four middle and let us know.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
And by the way, Tliver as you know. We have
a weekly newsletter is free. People can sign up at
listen to theemiddle dot com.
Speaker 3 (47:38):
Yes, We're also available as a podcast in partnership with
iHeart Podcasts on the iheartapp or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
The Middle is brought to you by Long Nook Media,
distributed by Illinois Public Media in Urbana, Illinois, and produced
by Joanne Jennings, Harrison Patino, John Barth, Danny Alexander, and
Charlie Little. Our technical director is Jason Croft. Our theme
music was composed by Andrew Haig. Thanks to Nashville Public Radio,
iHeartMedia and the more than three hundred and seventy public
(48:05):
radio stations that are making it possible for people across
the country to listen to The Middle, I'm Jeremy Hobson
from all of us at the Middle. Have a merry Christmas,
and I'll talk to you next week.
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