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October 15, 2025 49 mins

What happens when the person you love most slowly begins to disappear before your eyes? In this deeply emotional and inspiring conversation, Emma Heming Willis opens up about life with Bruce Willis following his diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia and how she turned heartbreak into purpose.


Joined by Helen Christoni, co-founder of Make Time Wellness, the two reveal why women’s brain health is so often ignored, what every caregiver needs to hear, and how to rediscover joy even in the hardest seasons of life.


👉 Watch now and learn how making time for yourself might just be the most powerful act of care there is.


Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:54 How Helen and Emma created Make Time Wellness

04:47 Hormones, estrogen loss, and dementia risk

06:03 Helen’s personal connection to dementia

08:04 Starting Make Time as Bruce’s symptoms appeared

08:51 How Emma met Bruce Willis and first signs of FTD

12:05 Understanding anosognosia and early dementia signs

15:29 The meaning of ambiguous loss for caregivers

18:45 Practical tools and exercises for caregivers

20:37 Redefining self-care and “making time”

21:20 How others can help caregivers in real ways

24:09 The caregiving crisis and policy change needed

28:43 Gender roles and men’s perspective on caregiving

31:00 Make Time Wellness mission and products

34:49 Bruce Willis’s current condition and progression

38:20 How their daughters are coping and family life

39:24 Emma’s and Helen’s advice for caregivers

40:57 Wisdom bumper sticker

44:57 Closing reflections and gratitude


Learn more about MEA at ⁠https://www.meawisdom.com/


#EmmaHemingWillis #HelenChristoni #MidlifeCaregiving #WomensBrainHealth #CaregiverSupport #FrontotemporalDementia #DementiaAwareness #MakeTimeWellness #MidlifeResilience #SelfCareReimagined #MidlifeWisdom #WomenSupportingWomen #CaregivingJourney #FindingJoyAgain #ModernElderAcademy

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
We have to understand that caregiving is not a solo mission
and we really need to bring in the support anytime when someone
is asking to help take the help.And I think people really also,
you know, when someone close to them or a friend is going
through something, there's so many people that really want to
help and they just don't know what to do.
I just think that this, I think everyone thinks this is like a a

(00:23):
personal issue, but this is it. This is a societal issue, and I
just want other people to know that if you have a caregiver in
your life, you must show up for them.
You have to show up for them. Welcome to the Midlife Chrysalis
Podcast with Chip Conley, where we explore how midlife isn't a

(00:43):
crisis, but a chrysalis, a time of profound transformation that
can lead to the most meaningful chapter of your life.
Welcome to the midlife chrysalis.
This is Chip Conley. And how many of you are
caregiving somebody in your life?
You know, the reality is that the majority of us over the

(01:04):
course of our life will be a, ifnot full time, a significant
part time care caregiver at sometime in our life.
It's not a skill you learn in school.
It's not a skill that most people actually have even
witnessed because a lot of caregiving happens privately in
people's homes. And so today's episode is
dedicated to the caregivers out there and very fortunate to have

(01:28):
Bruce Willis's wife, Emma Hemming Willis and then Helen
Christoni, who's Emma's partner in a new company called Make
Time. They are experts on the topic of
caregiving and Emma's new book called The Unexpected Journey.
Finding strength, hope, and yourself on the caregiving path

(01:50):
skyrocketed up to #2 on the New York Times bestsellers list for
multiple weeks. So I think you're going to enjoy
this at at least. I hope you find it instructional
for yourself because guess what?This is a skill we all need to
learn over the course of our life.
I hope you enjoy it. Emma, Helen, it's great to see
you. Thank you for being here.

(02:12):
What an honor it is to have bothof you here because the topic of
caregiving is so essential in the modern world, especially in
the United States. There's a woman named Aging Pooh
who said something to the effectof, you know, the rest of the
world has created created a social caregiving infrastructure

(02:33):
in the United States. We just have women to do it.
So let's explore first about howthe two of you got to know each
other, and then tell us a littlebit about make time.
Well, thank you for having us. Thank you.
We're so happy to be here. So Helen and I, we were working
on a separate project. And what I started telling her

(02:54):
was that I was on this brain health journey and I, you know,
was dealing with this immense amount of brain fog and just not
feeling sharp. And I told her that my doctor
kept dismissing, you know, what my symptoms, saying, oh, you
know, you're stressed, you're not sleeping enough.
You know, it'll pass. It'll pass.
Well, it never did. So I sought out a brain health

(03:17):
Doctor Who introduced me to the term of brain health, which I
had never heard before. And he, you know, introduced me
to just these lifestyle change, lifestyle changes to help with
my brain health and had me on, you know, handfuls of vitamins
multiple times a day. And what I had said to Helen was

(03:39):
that, you know, I'm really noticing that the fog is
lifting. I'm feeling so much better, but
I'm having a really hard time sustaining taking all of these
vitamins. I wish that I could put
everything together into like a drink or gummy and just make it
really simple and talk to women about their brain health and the

(03:59):
importance of it. And that's how Helen and I came
together and we'd launched Make Time Wellness about two years
ago, I want to say. And, and yeah, this was totally
in Helen's wheel wheelhouse, andshe stepped in.
Yeah. And when we started kind of
digging into it, we quickly noticed that the conversation

(04:19):
about women's brain health is just not being had.
Like no one was talking to womenabout their brains.
Our doctors, not the media, not the products, and all the
products that are on the shelf for brain health are very
Manish. When we kept digging in, we also
learned that one out of five women are at risk for

(04:41):
Alzheimer's compared to 1 out of10 men.
So women are twice at risk. Why is that?
I mean, what, what is it about? And I, when I saw that stat in
Emma's new book, which we'll talk about, I was shocked.
Why is it that women are more susceptible to Alzheimer's or or
even dementia? A lot of it has to do with our

(05:02):
hormones. And as we lose estrogen,
estrogen is a key player in our brain health.
And there's so many times in a woman's life where there's
hormonal disruption. You know, it starts when we're
young girls and it as we as we get older, when we have kids and
then when we go through perimenopause.
And that's happening earlier andearlier because of the toxic
bird we're all under here, especially in the United States.

(05:25):
You know, loss of estrogen is directly related to things that
are happening with our brain health.
So women are just more at risk. And we are really passionate
about just having that conversation with women.
So women know because I mean, I didn't know until we started
doing some of this research. And that there's actionable

(05:46):
things that we can do today to make a difference in our brains
and just women don't know about it.
So we're really trying to educate women over it, make
time, Wellness and just a very simple, non scary way, you know,
just to encourage women to startcaring for their brains.
And making time. So Helen, in your background,
tell us a little bit about your background in terms of how do

(06:09):
you, how do you have some understanding of the space as
well as you've had family members who have died from
complications related to Alzheimer's, if I'm not mistaken
or dementia. I've been in product marketing
my whole career, you know, in the beauty business and the
Wellness business. And so this is just what I've

(06:29):
done all my life is develop and launch brands.
So definitely my wheelhouse, youknow, and, and then, you know, I
mean, my Nana, who's my favoriteperson ever.
We lost her to dementia. And it was, you know, the last
time I saw my Nana, she was in ahome in Connecticut, and she had

(06:52):
no idea who I was, but she really knew that she needed to
brush my hair. I was her only girl, you know,
And so and that really like, landed on me when I had that
experience with her, you know, the last time I saw her.
And it really was very impactful.
And it was just a moment in my life that I'll never forget, you
know? And so and then after we

(07:15):
launched Make Time, I lost my mother-in-law to frontal
temporal dementia. And I hadn't even connected the
dots on that was the type of, you know, dementia she was
struggling with until after she passed because there's just such
confusion around this topic and there's so little information.

(07:37):
So. So yeah, these things have
really, it's important conversation.
And women are so powerful. We should all be talking to each
other about this stuff. And dementia touches so many
people and, you know, we're justtrying to it's, it's also
important to remove the stigma around it.
There's so much stigma around dementia and be able to talk to

(07:58):
people. You know, people don't want to
hear about it. It's too scary.
They don't want to know. But it's really important.
These are important conversations.
So the irony here is that you, the 2 of you started make time
around a couple years ago and itwas at a time when your husband
Emma Bruce was, was he starting to show some symptoms there or

(08:21):
he already had shown some symptoms at that point?
Yeah, I mean, I was on this brain health journey with him as
well, so it kind of all coincided.
I would say when I really think about it, it's such a blurry
time in my life. But yeah, I that's one of the
reasons why I started to really go in deep into brain health and

(08:42):
just thinking like, why is this the first time I'm hearing about
this? You know, I'm pretty up to date,
pretty up to speed on Wellness and brain health Was this was a
new. Term So let's take ourselves
back 20 years to when you and Bruce first met and and for
those who haven't caught on yet,Emma's married to Bruce Willis.

(09:04):
And so tell us about how you met20 years ago and then how you
started to notice something in Bruce, because Bruce has frontal
temporal dementia similar to your mother-in-law who passed
away from this Helen so. Different variant, but.

(09:24):
OK, got it. Got it.
We can get into the weeds on FT and the variants are very proud
of you for saying that, Helen. It is a different variant that
she had. Tell us about how you met Bruce
20 years ago. I was working out at a gym in
Los Angeles with Gunner Petersonand Bruce ended up working up
working out there, too. And our times kind of

(09:47):
overlapped, and we got to get toknow each other as you would in
Hollywood, in the gym. Yeah.
So at the time, I was actually engaged to marry somebody else.
And, you know, Bruce and I wouldconnect again at the gym but
have really interesting conversations.
Like he was so very different than what you would think.

(10:10):
Very humble, always asking questions about me, just very
curious, but never pushy. And so over time, my
relationship with my other person sizzled.
And then it was like maybe six months later that Bruce and I
then connected. And it was a pretty quick love

(10:34):
story, I would say. Yeah.
I mean, he's my he's my person. And we got married and 2009.
We have two daughters. He has a girl dad, dad of five
girls. Our two youngest now are 11 and
13. For signs or symptoms, I would
say was, you know, noticing Bruce and that his stutter was

(10:57):
coming back. He had a severe stutter as a
child and through his life he was kind of able to figure out
how to manage it. And I and I think that has a lot
to do with his drama teacher whowas like, let me help you with
that. What Bruce realizes that when he
memorized scripts that he would be able to recite them without

(11:20):
stuttering. So again, he's always been a
person that's stuttered. He's just been able to kind of
mask it, I guess. And then I just started noticing
it coming back. And I just thought that was so
interesting. And, you know, never in my
wildest dreams was I putting twoand two together thinking that
this might be a young onset dementia.

(11:41):
And in the end, Bruce was diagnosed with FTDPPA, which is
primary progressive aphasia. This is another variant of FTD
which effects language in your your.
We hold our language communication in our temporal
lobe, hence frontotemporal dementia or degeneration where

(12:04):
Helen's mother-in-law had the movement variant.
So FTD can affect people in three different ways, behavior,
language or movement. And Bruce was diagnosed with the
language variant, which was why we started noticing the stutter,
why we started, you know, just seeing him a little more

(12:26):
removed, why our conversations and things that we used to align
on just weren't meshing anymore.You know, when I say in, in my
book is that FTD whispers, it doesn't scream.
And it's a slow sort of moving vehicle.
And you don't realize that it's taking the person that you know

(12:49):
in love with it. So yeah, let's talk about the
book. The book is called The
Unexpected Journey. Finding strength, Hope and
yourself on the Caregiving path.New York Times bestseller at by
Maria Shriver's imprint. So Maria, good friend of of mine
and was the 1st guest on this podcast.

(13:10):
Isn't she a moral beauty? That is what I always call her.
She's a moral beauty, and if I was straight, I'm not.
If I was straight, I would be marrying that woman right now.
Yeah, I love that. Maria's something else.
If I was a lesbian, I'd be dating her too.
The process of witnessing your husband, your spouse, shifting

(13:34):
but not having much knowledge about this.
I'm going to get to the caregiving piece in a moment,
but how does a person identify that something's going wrong?
In this case, the the stutter was something sort of obvious,
but in other cases, it may not be obvious because it happened
so slowly. And in Bruce's case, from what I

(13:55):
understand, he had no idea that this was coming on it.
It's not like he one day he saidto you, something's wrong with
my brain. No, that's called, I'm going to
butcher it, but I'm going to sayit.
Anasagnosia, which is a neurological symptom or
condition where a person who might have a disease might not

(14:19):
realize that something is not right.
Something's not right in their brain.
That is not denial. That is a part of the disease,
which makes it even more confusing because you're like,
well, if they're not flagging it, then maybe everything's OK.
You know, it's, it's, it's hard to know.
I think with the behavioral variant, I think that one's a

(14:41):
little louder where you would see someone really just with no
filter, you know, maybe saying inappropriate things, doing
inappropriate things. That's a little louder.
And I think for someone, you know, what I'd learned from
Doctor Bruce Miller, he's a neurologist at UCSUCSF.
And what he told me was that when you start noticing, you

(15:07):
know, if someone's in their 30s,forties, fifties, 60s, where
they should really kind of have their life together, they kind
of have a, a trajectory, they'regrounded, they're with family.
If you start noticing a difference in someone, that is a
change in the brain and that needs to be addressed.

(15:29):
So there's a term called ambiguous loss, Helen, and both
of you feel free to answer this one.
Helen what does that mean? It is ambiguous loss.
It's something that I, I noticed, I think in the book.
And is that, is that what you'reSpeaking of, Emma?
Is that the idea that no is thatis that is this different?

(15:52):
I would say it's different. Ambiguous loss is more about.
So this was coined by Doctor Pauline Boss and it can.
And when I came into the world of dementia, I kept hearing this
term ambiguous loss, what it means for when you're navigating
someone with dementia and what you're the loss that you're
feeling as a caregiver is that your person is physically

(16:16):
present but psychologically gone.
And this could also work for, you know, missing children, you
know, where they're physically gone but psychologically
present. So it can kind of go, it can
kind of go either way. So ambiguous loss is about

(16:37):
really mourning someone, grieving someone who is still
alive. And that is, that is.
Hard. It's actually maybe the
caregiver who's feeling the ambiguous losses that way.
OK, got it. Helen, do you want to add
anything to that? Yeah.
And then I think that, you know,Emma in her book, when she talks
about therapy and, you know, having places to put your grief

(17:05):
and your feelings and having a sounding word, It's so important
for people that are caring for someone who isn't well or also,
you know, when you're in a griefseason, whether it's ambiguous
or real, you know, I think when we get to this, this place in

(17:26):
our life, you know, grief and loss is something that we're all
dealing with. So I think being rooted in
therapy or writing or journalingor reaching out to people that
are going through something similar is just so, so important
to be able to just get through. If you're enjoying the
conversations we've been having on the midlife chrysalis, I have

(17:49):
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My book, Learning to Love Midlife, 12 Reasons Why Life
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(18:09):
life not as a decline, but an opportunity to flourish.
Claim your copy today at meawisdom.com/midlife Book So
let's talk about the book a little bit further because it's
really, it's a, it's a, it's almost like a workbook.
It's certainly your personal storytelling and the experience

(18:30):
with Bruce and and that's poignant.
But what I really appreciated, and I think what is so needed is
not just the inspiration from the book, but the actual
practical exercises that you offer.
So why don't you talk about someparts of the exercises that you

(18:51):
know you think are most relevantto any kind of caregiver, not
just a caregiver for someone with dementia?
So this goes back to making time, right?
So instead of this idea of self-care, which I think has
just been taken over by the beauty industry, it's very sort
of like washed down at this point.
I don't even know what that means.
It's very triggering to me when I hear self-care because I

(19:11):
don't. Know I do too.
That is so funny, Emma. I have, I think self-care sounds
self indulgent, but it also it'sthe thing you say to somebody
when they're sort of like losingthe like themselves.
They're like, just do some self-care and it's like, oh God,
I don't know. I think it's so, it's so social

(19:33):
media driven now. Like, you know, self-care Sunday
and we got to get our nails doneand our hair done and we got to
do all the things. It's like turned into work.
Self-care has turned into a lot of work in so many ways,
especially for women. Yeah, it's work.
Like we got to get our roots done, our nails done.
We got to go here and there. So it's, that's why I like the
concept of making time because hence our brand name make time

(19:56):
because I think what it does it it for me, it, it brings it back
to like, what do I want to make time for?
What is going to feed my soul? And I mean, this could be so
simple. Like, I'll tell you something
that so Maria Shriver lives downthe street from me and.
You know, I was like, I'm going to walk to her house for dinner.

(20:17):
That's what I'm going to do instead of getting in my car as
we all do in Los Angeles. But like that was a make time
moment. It took me 15 minutes door to
door and I just got to walk. So that is what I made time for
that day. It's very simple.
It doesn't have to be let's go get our nails done.
Let's go get a like a fate, let's go get a massage.
If that is what rocks your boat,you should definitely do that.

(20:37):
We have a 2600 acre ranch here for MEA campus in Santa Fe.
And normally I, I live on the ranch and our, our two retreat
centers are on the ranch. But today on the way to come and
do this interview with you, I walked and it was about a 25
minute walk from my home here and I listened to some beautiful

(21:00):
orchestra music and I, I realized like this is a ritual I
need to do before I, I do my interviews because it puts me in
the right space to actually be prepared to, to be present for
you. So making time, I, I hear that
as, as one of the most importantthings a caregiver can do.
What are some other other practical tips that you have in

(21:25):
the book that people should consider?
Yeah, I mean, I think like Emma talks about how people, you
know, what can I do to help? Like, how can I help you?
Let me know. I'm here.
But Emma gives this really greatadvice in the book where it's
like, take a minute, write down what you do in a day and have a
list ready that you can just give people and say like, you
want to help here. Yeah, you know what's what's so

(21:47):
funny? Because I was thinking about
this just yesterday and the workbook portion was that, God,
why didn't I add just that? Like make a list.
Here's the time that you're going to make your list of
everything you do in a day, a week, a month.
So that when the person says, ifthere's anything I can do, let
me know that you said, oh, actually I have something.

(22:07):
Here is something that you can do that will help.
I mean, caregivers are so quick to say I'm good, I have it
covered, thank you, I'm good. It's only because it's, we're,
we're so decision fatigued. We're constantly making
decisions all the time. So what I ask is that caregivers
do just a little bit of back endwork so that they have this list

(22:30):
ready so that when someone says that they're going to say yes, I
do need help. Could you drop a lasagna off
once a month, every Sunday? You know, one the first weekend,
every Sunday? Can you go wash my car?
Can you pick my kids up from school?
Can you help them with homework?There's a ton of things that we

(22:50):
need help with, but we as caregivers want to do everything
because we think that no one else can do it better than us,
that we don't want to burden anyone.
But we we have to understand that caregiving is not a solo
mission and we really need to bring in the support anytime
when someone is asking to help take the help.

(23:12):
And I think people really also, you know, when someone close to
them or a friend is going through something, there's so
many people that really want to help and they just don't know
what to do, you know? And so I think I think it helps
on both sides, you know, the person that's the caregiver and
then people that love them that just don't know how.
So I think it kind of checks offboth boxes there.
Yeah. I mean, I have a chapter in my

(23:34):
book of like how family and friends can show up to you for
you. I mean, as much as this book is
to care for the caregiver, this book is also for family and
friends to understand what this looks like and the importance of
them coming in. Because I just think that this

(23:54):
they think everyone thinks this is like a personal issue, but
this isn't this is a societal issue.
And I just want other people to know that if you have a
caregiver in your life, you mustshow up for them.
You have to show up for them. You said you called it a
societal issue and that's for sure the case.
A few years ago during the BidenWhite House, they the White

(24:16):
House was trying to get infrastructure in the US and the
infrastructure that was they hadtwo sides to this.
One is the physical infrastructure, roads and
bridges. And then there is this other
part of the infrastructure that they tried to actually have part
of the bill, which was a caregiving infrastructure and it
and that went nowhere. And so if you could like if you

(24:42):
could speak to whoever is the next president of the United
States and make a couple policy suggestions.
I'll pass it on to my friend Gavin, who for 30 years has been
my mentee the the governor of California.
What do you think the US needs to do to actually create some

(25:05):
caregiving infrastructure that would help with this epidemic of
caregiving fatigue and just the fact that as the population
ages, this is only going to get worse?
Yeah, I mean, they're saying in 2050 that dementia cases will
triple and we are in a caregiving crisis even with

(25:29):
trying to get formal caregiving,right.
There's, you know, everyone is burned out.
So, you know, there's 63,000,000.
The AARP says there's 63,000,000caregivers in the US, 11,000,000
of which are caring for someone with dementia.
I think that that is, I mean, this, this is a, this is a
crisis. And I think it is really

(25:49):
important that we are electing officials that hear these cries.
You know, I think that was one of the reasons not, and I'm, I
don't want to get so political, but I was excited about Vice
President Harris because she hadthat caregiving story with her

(26:10):
mother and she really understoodwhat that looked like.
And I thought, Oh my gosh, this could be the person that can
really make a difference, You know, that, that, that, that can
actually get in there and, and hopefully change or bring in
policies or, or whatever that looks like.
I mean, I think that I am learning how to use my voice.

(26:31):
I am learning how to advocate and I think I would love to join
forces with, you know, hygiene to be able, you know, she does
so much within that space already to be able to get to DC
at some. I mean, I think that is the goal
for me is how can we get politicians to hear the cries of

(26:56):
caregivers who have little to nosupport Access isn't there.
You know, there's, we need resources.
I mean, it's it's. I don't know what that looks
like yet, but I will. I also think, you know, from a
financial perspective, tax credits, I mean, like, look,

(27:19):
they'll give you a tax credit for owning an Airbnb.
But like, like look at the lack of tax credits for people that
are not able to work as much, you know, taking care of someone
like reducing some of that red tape so you can have access to
some of, you know, funds they'redue maybe later in life.
I think I think in that there needs to be some tax reform done

(27:43):
here because this is a really large population and that's
that's all the tax breaks that come through every year for
people with real estate and stuff.
The same thing should be appliedto people that are like taking
care of people. And so I think that's one way I
think the government can really lean in and make a difference

(28:03):
quickly. I mean, you look at like
Medicare and Medicaid that's, you know, already was already
complicated and now it's, you know, being stripped more.
What does that look like for caregivers who are taking on so
much that are being removed fromthe workforce?
You know, especially when you'relooking at a young onset

(28:23):
dementia, you're taking a personthat should be, you know,
working, contributing, you know,right at probably at the height
of of their income. Yeah, I would think.
And also you're taking the caregiver now out to so it's,
it's a crisis. It is.

(28:43):
And my own point of view on it is I just think because
caregiving is so much reliant upon women, there's an
undervaluing it, undervaluing itof it by legislators who tend to
be men. And I just don't think people
see it and you know it. It's been remarkable to me to
see men that I know, friends that I know who are, have been

(29:07):
thrust into the role of being the caregiver in their family
for one reason or another and have them just say like I have
so much more respect for women and you for me.
Like I, I have prostate cancer, stage 3 prostate cancer and have
been through my own journey. And I had to go through
menopause, my male version of menopause because I was on 19
months of hormone depletion therapy, no testosterone.

(29:30):
So I had all of the experiences of hot flashes, night sweats,
rain, fog, all of that. And I think all men should have
to go through this so they can understand what women go through
in perimenopause and menopause. And so I just think some of this
is just figuring out how men canactually understand the the load

(29:56):
that is having to be carried, whether it's through
perimenopause, menopause or through caregiving that women go
through. Yeah.
I mean, 60% they say of, of women are caregivers, but we
can't discredit the 40% that aremale.
And I and I can imagine how muchmore isolating it must be for
them trying to figure this out when, you know, there is a

(30:19):
reason why we are the caregiversand the mothers and the doers
and, you know, we are a nurturing breed.
So I think that this becomes outit's, it's out of the comfort
zone, possibly not of all men, but a lot of them, you know,
like I'm happy that I'm caring for my husband.
He's not caring for me. Yeah, well, he, he, he need to

(30:41):
hire a woman to do, to help withthis.
So let's, we're going to, we'll come back to Bruce in a few
minutes. I, I want to, I just want to
talk about make time and I want to like come back to that and,
and talk about your relationshipwith time.
And you talked a little bit about it in terms of walking
over to, to Maria's house for dinner.
And Helen, tell us a little bit more beyond what you told us

(31:03):
earlier about what make time, what your mission is like.
And, and at the end of the day, when you have these raving
evangelists who say like, oh, I love this.
Why are why are they such evangelists?
Well, I mean, our mission at Make Time is to get the world
talking seriously about women's brain health because it's just

(31:24):
like many women's issues has been overlooked, under studied,
underfunded, all the things. And the great thing about our
brains and is that there's things that you can do earlier
in your life to that can preventa lot of this stuff.
And so at Make Time, we're very vocal about the pillars of brain

(31:49):
health, which is connection and nutrition movement.
Rest, recovery and you know, mental engagement, these make
such a huge impact and it's these are fun by the way, I feel
like, you know, what I do with my brain health is that I put my

(32:11):
brain 1st and the rest of my body benefits, you know, because
we're talking about sleep, we'retalking about exercise, we're
talking about nutrition, supplementation.
You know, my whole body is is going to benefit when I am
caring for my brain and thinkingabout it first.
Everyone is thinking about theirtheir heart or the inches on
their waist or what, whatever that might be.

(32:32):
This is just a rewiring of how we today as women and how we
view our health so. What are the products that you
offer or services that are most popular?
Sure. So we have our make time drink,
which is our hero product. That is, we kind of call it our
girl Tang, and it has a beautiful amount of or just a

(33:00):
combination of supplements in a natural ingredients that really
support a woman's brain, body and beauty, in that order.
And we worked really hard to really identify things that can
really help them. It has curcumin in it, which is
so important. It's such a traditionally used

(33:20):
ingredient that helps us. It's a massive antioxidant.
It helps with the woman's inflammation and we have
cognizant which is nootropic that's been studied on women
that supports brain health, focus, attention, things that
can help us right now, today. And also women's multivitamin,
biotin, MCT for energy. We really like loaded this up so

(33:44):
we could make it easy. So it's one thing that you can
do every day to check your boxesand start the day by making
time. I just add like a scoop into 8
ounces of, of cold water and drink that.
And it's, it's actually, it's inmy bottle today and it's today
today it's my, you know, it's like my on the go.

(34:04):
So it's like what, what? What do we call this?
Our watered down? Version yeah, you could just
throw it in any amount of water and just, you know, just as take
away and you don't have to deal with all the pills and the
supplements. And there's like, you know, 6
supplements in it, let's say. And so I mean, we just, we just
make it easy. And then also we have our Make
Time podcast to where we interview experts and give

(34:25):
action and give women these actionable ways that they can
make time for all kinds of things.
You know, making time is personal.
It looks different for everybody.
So it's so important that we just think about that.
Yeah, we love giving women ideasbecause sometimes we just need
ideas. Sometimes I just want someone to
tell me like, well, what? What should I do?

(34:46):
You know, can you give me some tips?
Can you help me? So let's talk about where Bruce
is at this point in terms of hisjourney and what are the
prospects over the next few years of where where you know
where Bruce will be and and how old is Bruce?
Remind us of that. 70 so he was,he was diagnosed in 2022, so 3

(35:11):
years ago. And you know, all things
considering, you know, Bruce is doing well, he, you know, we
have a beautiful support team around us that has really
helped. And I guess that, you know,

(35:32):
things are, things feel very balanced, you know, do I have a
magic ball to know what, how this plays out?
No, and doctors don't either. But I'm very educated on FTD and
the variant that Bruce has so that I can continue to support
him as he will progress. I think that's been really

(35:57):
important and helpful for me to sort of help with my anxiety and
stress around it is just to be acouple of steps ahead to really
be able to ask questions and notbe afraid to hear the answers.
I think that helps me. I think that helps a lot.

(36:19):
What's his level of awareness ofwhat's happening And, and, and,
and he still recognizes you and loves you and, but there's going
to be a point at which that may not be the case anymore.
Is that soon? I don't know.
I mean, yeah. So I mean, I think this is the
misconception between FTD and maybe Alzheimer's, right?

(36:40):
Where Alzheimer's people, what affects them is, is memory.
And for FTD, it's not really memory.
It's more again, language, the frontal parts, which is all
about like decision making, how you kind of show up in the
world. So, you know, for Bruce, I mean,
he is as present as he can be within a disease that strips you

(37:05):
of so much, you know. So yes, like he, we are all very
connected with him. We have our own way of
connecting, which just looks different to what the norm might
be. You know, we just really are
able to meet Bruce where he's atin his disease and be able to be

(37:27):
there and be present with him and supportive of him as he is
navigating this. Really unkind.
Disease. And does he stay private?
I mean, is how is it comfortablegoing out to dinner or is that
something? No, we're past that.
We're way past that. Yeah, it's, it's, you know, for

(37:49):
FTD, it's important for, for, for some, because FTD plays out
different. Dementia plays out different in
everybody. You know, there's not like
one-size-fits-all. You know, what's important is a
really calm and serene atmosphere for Bruce is what
I've been able to create that has been very supportive and

(38:10):
beneficial for him. So unfortunately, no, we're not
doing dinners. You know, we're, we have a very
simple life. And how are your daughters
handling it? You know, I think that they're
doing as well as they can. I think that how things are now
has been really beneficial for them.

(38:33):
When Bruce was diagnosed, the girls were 8 and 11.
They're 11 and 13 now and, you know, it's hard for them.
I'm not going to say that it's not, but I have the right
support for them. They feel very, I think, you
know, I don't know, comfortable.They feel secure.

(38:54):
They know that if anything changes, I'm always going to let
them know. And they have no expectations
of, of, of their dad. They can also just be very
present with him. They get it, they see it, they
understand the disease, they understand what this looks like.
They've been living it for years.
But again, I think if I want to look at the bright side of it,

(39:17):
this is a slow progression. And when we are fortunate that
we get time, we get this time with him.
I'm going to give you both the opportunity to answer this one
and then I have one last question after that.
What's one piece of advice that you haven't given so far that
you would give to a caregiver atthis point?
And not just making time, but ifthere's one additional piece of

(39:41):
advice that you haven't given inthis podcast so far, what might
that be? I'm just going to say again,
because I just think it's reallyimportant for not only the
caregiver to hear, but people that are listening to your
podcast today that might know a caregiver and to know that like
caregiving is not a solo missionand we all shouldn't be expected

(40:01):
to think that it is. And.
And that everyone needs to step up, step in, you know, support
caregivers who are unseen, unsupported in so many ways.
You know, we just talked about that.
And really be there to be there for them, support them.

(40:27):
I also think, you know, just finding some joy wherever you
can, you know, like I think thatwe are human beings are really
strong. And I think just recognizing the
joyful moments and what those are because life changes, joy

(40:47):
looks different. And I'm just identifying what
joy looks like in there, in there in your present day,
whatever that looks like to you.I think it's so, so vital.
Last question and this question relates to your whole life.
Let's let's open open the aperture of the life of Emma and
and Helen with the premise that you've built some wisdom along

(41:10):
the way. Mea the modern elder Academy is
a is the world's first midlife wisdom school dedicated to
helping people in the middle of their life make sense of what
they've learned along the way because our painful life lessons
are often the raw material for our future wisdom.
So if someone came to you and said I'd love to sit down and

(41:32):
have coffee or tea or, or that amazing drink that you guys make
that and I want to drink that with you next week.
And I'd love to have you come tothe meeting with sort of a
mental bumper sticker of a wisdom and the origin story of
it. And it doesn't have to do with
caregiving or anything in the last five years.
It could be something from earlier in your life.

(41:55):
What would be the bumper stickerand what's the origin story of
something that has Emma or Helen's finger wisdom
fingerprints on it? I'm going to go for her.
You go for her. Find joy.
I'm just going off of what you said, find joy because you know,
I, I would say early on in this journey, I, there was no joy to

(42:17):
be had. I never knew that I would be
able to find joy, that I could sit here today and be able to
talk to you and put words together like I and smile and
laugh and I just never, I thought that could be possible
for my life after our life was completely, in a way, just
dismantled. What I've realized is that there

(42:39):
is joy to be had and that you can still find these cracks of
light along the way. You just have to be willing to
look up sometimes. And again, you know, joy looks
different for everyone. Joy is a process.
I didn't start there. I was there at one point and
then joy was ripped. But joy has come back.

(43:01):
And I just want caregivers, people to know that whatever
hard season that they're going through, there will be a time in
this process. Well, you will be able to tap
back into some joy. Not.
It won't be as colorful and big maybe as it was before, but it
will be there. Thank you, Helen.

(43:23):
Yeah. And I think, I think for me it
really is don't miss the moment.You know, I mean, we life
changes and we're all having ourmoments.
And it's really important that your present for them because
you know, as life changes, thosethose moments become more and
more important when they turn into memories.

(43:44):
And so I think it's making sure that you're not missing moments
and that your present is so important when we look back, you
know, so I think that don't missthe moments, you know, show up
and be present because we're allso distracted.
So it's like, just don't, don't miss them.

(44:04):
Make time. Yeah, for sure.
Don't miss the moment. Don't miss the moment of Nana
Nana needing to brush your hair.Don't miss the moment when, you
know, love is in the air. Oh, I'm, I'm a poet here.
Thank you to both of you for making time for me and for our
audience. We really deeply appreciate the

(44:27):
fact that we got to dive into caregiving on this episode
because it's, you know, quite frankly, one of the most
important issues facing Americans today.
And it's not in like we said, it's only going to.
I don't think it worse. We are going to have to get
wiser about this. You know, that's, that's what we
need. We need some serious wisdom as a

(44:48):
country and as individuals. And you've given us some great
advice today, so thank you very much.
Thanks for having us Trip. Thank you.
Wow, I wish I could just be in the same room with those two
women and give them hugs becauseit's very clear that they are
real advocates and activists forthe, the needs of caregivers.

(45:14):
You know, my my lessons on this particular episode.
I think the first one is really this is a, a topic that is
essential for women. I hope men stayed through the
end and listened to the whole thing as well.
But let's look at the fact that the majority of caregivers in
the United States are women. So this is a topic that requires
both understanding how to be a caregiver, but also looking at

(45:36):
how do we advocate for caregivers politically and
socially in our society. But also the that stat about the
fact that really 2/3 of people actually experiencing
Alzheimer's are women. Women, because of the reduction
in estrogen in their brains, actually are more susceptible to

(45:57):
these brain illnesses. And so brain health is important
for women, even maybe more than men.
So for those of you who made it to the end, take a look at make
time. They, by the way, I was
promoting make time there. I don't get any money.
The midlife Christmas gets no money from any of the people who

(46:18):
are on our podcast. So I I wanted to make time for
making time for make time because I want them to be able
to be an advocate for this out there in the in the populace.
The second thing, and I think mynumber one thing I took away
from this episode, it was this idea of making the list.
You know, it's when I was going through my radiation, 36

(46:41):
sessions of radiation and the impacts of that, you know, a
couple years ago. And I had a lot of people asking
me, what can I do for you? And you know, people do that and
that we it's they're being sweetand thoughtful.
And of course, the thing I wouldalways say is I'm fine.
I'm fine, even though I wasn't always fine.
And I would love to have had somebody do some shopping at the

(47:04):
local grocery store for me. My baby Mama has, you know, I
won't say her name because I want to be private.
For she's been going through chemotherapy.
And, you know, chemotherapy is even worse than radiation.
And so, you know, a conversationI had with her was just about
the fact that, you know, sometimes she needed to, like,
be able to answer someone who says, like, what can I do for

(47:26):
you? And what Emma talked about and
Emma and Helen talked about was the idea of making a list
because along the way, when you're going through anything,
as the person is going through the illness or if you are the
person who actually is caregiving, you know, there are
things you need. And you can just make a list so
that when somebody does ask thatyou have the ready to answer,

(47:48):
answer at the, you know, on yourlips.
So that to me is a very simple way for us to actually help
caregivers and frankly people who are going through an
illness. And then finally, both of them
toward the end of the episode, talked about joy, finding joy.
Let's just talk about joy for a moment.
Joy is one of my favorite topics.

(48:09):
JD Salinger, who wrote Catcher in the Rye, said happiness is a
solid and joy is a liquid, whichis part of the reason I I named
my company Joie de Vive when I started a boutique hotel company
at age 26. I love the idea of joy.
I think it's more important thanhappiness.
Happiness is often circumstantial.

(48:30):
I'm going to go get some happiness by, you know, getting
a promotion or I, I don't know, asking someone out for a date
and having them say yes. But joy comes from within.
It overflows. And so the idea of introducing
joy in our life and asking ourselves what would bring us
joy, it's a very important question for us to ask as a

(48:53):
caregiver because it is those moments of joy, whether it's
getting a massage or going for awalk with the dog or, you know,
watching an episode of your, your favorite Netflix series,
those moments of joy help you todisrupt sometimes the drudgery
and the challenge of all you're going through as a caregiver.

(49:15):
So go out and create some joy for yourself, whether you're
caregiving or not. It you, you deserve it.
And I'll look forward to seeing you joyfully next week with
another episode of The Midlife Chrysalis.
Thanks for listening to The Midlife Chrysalis.
This show is produced by MidlifeMedia.
If you enjoyed this episode, help us spread the word by

(49:37):
subscribing and leaving a reviewon your favorite platform.
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