September 14, 2024 • 35 mins
Can finding stillness amidst life's chaos truly transform your experience of menopause? Today's episode of the MiDOViA Menopause Podcast promises to reveal exactly how mindfulness can empower you during this significant phase of life. We're joined by Denise Pyles, an inspiring micro-mindfulness coach with a captivating past as a former nun. Denise shares her fascinating journey from nonprofit work to the corporate world, and how she fused her experiences to help others navigate midlife challenges with grace. From practical strategies like one-sentence journaling to intentional pauses and self-talk mantras, Denise brings you actionable steps to achieve calm and balance.
In this insightful episode, Denise dives into the power of capturing daily moments through various journaling techniques, and how setting daily intentions can build sustainable focus and clarity. Listeners will also get a sneak peek into her upcoming book, "Burned Without Burning Out," which outlines seven micro-mindfulness habits for clear thinking and burnout recovery. Tune in for an enriching discussion that covers everything from mindful self-talk to engaging with nature, and even some personal anecdotes that will leave you inspired to incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life.
Denise is a writer, speaker, and micro-mindfulness coach with over 35,000 hours of mindfulness practice under her belt. Her unique background as a former nun and her work helping individuals in high-pressure environments find stillness brings a powerful perspective to today’s conversation. Denise has made it her mission to help others discover nurturing stillness in a distracted world, and her practical approach to micro-mindfulness through one-sentence journaling, intentional pauses, and mindful self-talk mantras is truly transformative.
https://denisepyles.com/
Pre-order the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DB1H9ZC7/
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Email Us: info@midovia.com
MiDOViA is dedicated to changing the narrative about menopause by educating, raising awareness & supporting women in this stage of life, both at home and in the workplace. Visit midovia.com to learn more.
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images & other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Medovia Menopause Podcast, your
trusted source forevidence-based, clients-backed
information related to menopause.
Medovia is dedicated tochanging the narrative about
menopause by educating, raisingawareness and supporting women
in this stage of life, both athome and in the workplace.
(00:21):
Visit medoviacom to learn morehome and in the workplace.
Visit Medoviacom to learn more.
I'm one of your hosts, aprilHaberman, and I'm joined by Kim
Hart.
We're co-founders of Medovia,certified health coaches,
registered yoga teachers andmidlife mamas specializing in
menopause.
You're listening to anotherepisode of our podcast, where we
(00:43):
offer expert guidance for themost transformative stage of
life, bringing you realconversations, education and
resources to help you overcomechallenges and reach your full
potential through midlife.
Join us and our special guestseach episode as we bring vibrant
, fun and truthful conversationand let us help you have a
(01:07):
deeper understanding ofmenopause.
Today, we have a very specialguest joining us Denise Piles.
Denise is a writer, speaker andmicro-mindfulness coach with
over 35,000 hours of mindfulnesspractice under her belt Wow.
Her unique background as aformer nun and her work helping
(01:29):
individuals and high pressureenvironments find stillness
brings a powerful perspective totoday's conversation.
Denise has made it her missionto help others discover
nurturing stillness in adistracted world, and her
practical approach to micromindfulness through one sentence
, journaling, intentional pausesand mindful self-talk mantras
(01:51):
is truly transformative.
In this episode, we explore howmindfulness practices can offer
invaluable support for womennavigating the often
overwhelming challenges ofmenopause.
Whether you're experiencing hotflashes, anxiety or brain fog,
denise's insights will empoweryou to take small, intentional
(02:13):
steps towards calm and balance.
Let's dive in, denise welcometo the show.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Thank you, it's great to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
We're excited to have this conversation today.
You have a unique backgroundand we know that you're going to
give great insight andperspective today for our
conversation.
And I can't believe that youactually live in Edmonds.
You are our neighbor.
I'm sure that we have crossedpaths in downtown Edmonds at
(02:44):
some point, but it's great tohave you on the show and to get
to know you a little bit better.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Thank you.
Thank you, it's great to behere.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
I um just for our, just for our listeners.
I met Denise through work andhad a coffee with her a couple
of months ago, and it was one ofthose coffees that we, um,
couldn't stop.
We wanted to be like we'retaking our watch like gosh.
There's so much to learn fromeach other, so really happy to
have you here, denise, thank you?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, you do.
You have such a uniquebackground and it fits so
perfectly with the work that wedo with women in midlife and
menopause.
And, you know, I think it'd bea great place to just start with
the conversation to ask youabout your mission.
You know you have so manythings that we're going to talk
(03:29):
about in this podcast, but tellus a little bit about your
mission and your ultimate drive.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Thank you.
So part of my mission is Ipivoted at midlife from a
nonprofit organization, churchwork to corporate with zero
business experience, and whatgot me there was the sense of
what I leaned on in my formerlife is that I am a nun and I
(03:58):
lived as a nun for eight yearsand then, over time, realized I
couldn't, for health andfinancial reasons, needed to
make that pivot.
But I leaned on thoseexperiences of mindfulness that
I learned as a nun to help memake that pivot to a corporate
successful career that I'm intoday in the tech industry.
(04:19):
Wow, what stays rooted is mymission is the same as I want to
(04:56):
help people find mindfulnessand stillness in life today,
which life today feels like weare living in don't have time to
practice mindfulness, and Ithought me neither.
I mean it's that sense ofmindfulness is about.
I would love to have severalhuge impact on our lives and can
help us in the bouncy housefind our balance, pick out the
(05:19):
right ball that we need to focuson right now and be present to
all the chaos with a clear mindand focus.
And so I want to help othersthat know that you have it
within you already to practicemindfulness.
You no longer have the excuseto say I don't have time because
, and that we can all do it,even in a life that we're living
(05:41):
today, that is chaotic, that'sstressful, that's constantly
changing and that AI is pushingus at the speed of faster than
how we want to live sometimes.
But we have that power withinus to slow down, just to take a
pause, be still for a moment, toclear our mind, our head, our
(06:03):
heart, and be present and thengo at life as full of war as we
can when we want to and need to.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, it's like refueling right, yeah.
That pause is really refueling,Kim.
What were you going to say?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Well, we hear often from women.
We were doing a trainingsession for a large group of
women and this one woman raisesher hand.
I'll never forget it.
She's like I don't have anytime.
I've got a disabled husband, Ihave two jobs, I have kids that
are doing this.
How am I supposed to take careof self-care?
And I was like just take abreath, Just remember to take a
(06:37):
breath.
So on that note, Denise, youpost on LinkedIn every day.
I do Micro mindfulness minutes.
How many days in a row are youup to now?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I think it's 1,218 days in a row.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah, it's worth following because it helps me
take my moments of self-care.
So let's talk about that alittle bit.
How can we take time forself-care?
About that a little bit.
How can we take time forself-care?
How are these practices able tosupport women with menopause
symptoms?
This mid-stage life you talkedabout, you know your mid-stage
changes how can women thinkabout this as a way of self-care
(07:17):
and what are your advice andguidance on those
micro-mindfulness minutes?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yes, thank you.
So one thing in looking atmenopause and and and I can
share this with this groupbecause I was forced into
menopause at an early time in mylife, as a young, as an adult
in my I was 32 when I had ahysterectomy due to
endometriosis and I sufferedfrom chronic endometriosis for
six years.
Even I had six surgeries in sixyears with because I had I was
(07:45):
one of the few women where itgrows outside the uterine wall
and to struggle with that.
It's a pivot in our lives.
It's part of that aging process.
It's part of those lifetransitions that happen in our
lives and sometimes we're incontrol of that.
We make a decision, and othertimes they try to control us.
(08:08):
Those pivots do that, and whatmicro mindfulness reminds me is
that sometimes I'm not incontrol.
And how do I just be present andrelease expectations and
release judgment, being in themoment, or judgment against
myself, and it's not adding onething to my calendar to do that,
(08:30):
but it's a mental pivot or ashift or like a short activity,
if people have never triedmindfulness before, even to give
yourself 30 seconds or 10seconds or, like you said, just
one intentional deep breath andor I used to direct the choir
and I'm saying we would alwaysstart our choir practice
(08:52):
pivoting from work or getting tothere before rehearsing is to
say to everybody take it a nicedeep breath and sigh out loud,
and that alone, psychology saysjust a focused, mindful breath
can help reduce stress.
It's sort of like this minipower boost of energy.
(09:13):
And so did we have time in theday, we're so busy, but I took
less than 10 seconds to do that.
And so then it's like can Ibuild on that, those transition
moments of going from oneactivity to the next, or my
attitude that hot flashes aregoing to hit me, the emotional
(09:35):
roller coaster up and downbouncy house?
How can I know it's happeningand how can I just take in a
deep breath and embrace thatmoment and know that that moment
will pass and I can be calm andcentered in that?
Again, that takes less than 30seconds, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
It sounds a little bit like habit stacking right.
Yes, trying to learn how to dothis.
So what's your advice andguidance for how to add this in,
like?
How do I remember oh my gosh,I'm stressed right now I how to
add this in, like, how do Iremember?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Oh my gosh, I'm stressed right now I need to
take a breath Like yeah, yeah,how do you notice?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
right.
How do you know that isstopping to notice?
Yeah, so there's two things.
One is that sense of desire,like part of one of my habits
that I talk about in the book Ihave that's coming out is
setting your intention, like inthe morning or anytime during
the day.
Is that my intention is I wantto be able to pay attention when
I need to pause or when I needto take a breath.
So that sense of mentally and Iwrite that down I keep a
(10:38):
journal with me just during theday, like a commonplace journal,
where I just take notes aboutwhat is going on in the day and
at the top I write my intentionfor the day Pay attention, what
is my, what is my, the desire ofmy heart today?
I want to lean in and listen, Iwant to be mindful of when I
(10:58):
need to breathe.
I put that on a sticky note andthen so.
Then the habit stacking ismaybe I pivot from one meeting
to the next and I see thatsticky note, or the moment my
phone rings to say, okay, I'mgoing to pause for two seconds
and take in a deep breath beforeI pick it up and even look at
(11:20):
who it's from, or I try to havemy phone upside down when I'm
working so I don't see thescreen.
So it's habit stacking on.
Pay attention during your day.
What are some transitionmoments?
Do you go to pick up kids atschool?
Do you go and can you drive inthe car with no nothing on, you
know, like no podcast or radioor something like that going on?
(11:43):
Just say I'm going to justfocus on driving it.
Every stoplight or every redlight stop sign, I'm going to
take a deep breath and justbreathe.
Or I'm going to pay attentionto what's going in my head and
just mentally say, okay, I'mjust stacking that on my to-do
pile for now and I'm going tostay focused on what I'm doing.
(12:03):
So they're just short, littlelike it's finding out.
Where are those opportunities inyour day that you pivot to from
one activity to the next?
I currently work fully, 100%,at home, remotely, and so I'd
have a shutdown ritual in theevening where I shut down my
(12:24):
laptop and I just pause with myhands on top of my laptop and
taking a deep breath and say I'mletting all this go, it's not
going anywhere and nobody'sgoing to die at work on on and
this and just say, just puttingsetting realistic expectations
and I can.
When I open it it's going to beright here with me and I can
(12:45):
face it tomorrow.
So that's kind of like just and, like I said, that's 30 seconds
of shutting, literally shuttingdown and pivoting to the next
thing.
So that habit stacking of ishelpful you turn on a light
switch.
You know, that's another onethat's coming.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah, it's, intentionality right.
You have to be very intentionalwith it.
It reminds me gosh, just thingsthat come back.
You don't realize that you'vebeen doing it for so long.
When I used to run same thing,denise I would run and I would
hit.
I would tell myself you'regoing to hit that stop sign and
when you hit that stop sign,from that stop sign, all the way
(13:25):
around, that circle is yourprayer circle and you're not
going to do anything else andyou're going to turn the music
off and this is what it becomes.
So, yeah, you create thosehabits, but it has to be very,
very intentional.
And I love the post-it notereminder too, to put that
throughout the house so that asyou're going about your day, you
see it, and it's a greatreminder because we forget.
(13:45):
You know, we get busy and weforget as much intention good
intention that we have.
We're humans and we forget.
I'd love for you to unpack theone sentence journaling a little
bit more as well, because I'm ajournaler and I love that, but
I know that for a lot of people,when you say journaling and you
(14:05):
hand them an empty notebook,they don't know what to do with
that.
It's very overwhelming and notcalming.
So can you unpack that a littlebit more?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Sure, I've been journaling as well since high
school and I've kept my journalssince then and I love it and I
do various forms of journaling.
And one sentence journaling hasreally helped me, especially in
times when they're verystressful and chaotic, but it
still helps me connect with mymind and heart and body in being
(14:34):
present.
And the other thing is onesentence journaling.
So even when people say I don'tlike to write, I'm saying
that's okay.
What do you like to do?
Maybe you like to takephotographs, maybe you sketch or
doodle, maybe you like to talk,maybe you know you like to draw
.
So when I was a nun, Ijournaled every day and I was on
(15:00):
a retreat with another sisterand she English was not her
first language and she Englishwas not her first language and
on retreat she had this 11 by 14notepad and every day she drew
in color, like chalk and crayon,this incredible beautiful
picture of flowers or trees orsomething.
And that was her journal everyday.
She had a picture every day sothat so like, for example, I'll
(15:25):
move my phone, like on my phoneI have the day one journal and I
made a folder called onesentence journaling, but it's
one photograph a day that I taketo say what am I feeling, what
captures my mood, and I take nowI take lots of pictures on my
phone, on my, you know, on myphone, in my camera photos, but
(15:49):
I choose one for the day and saythis is, and most often it
centers around gratitude, orwatching the sunset in Edmonds
over the Olympic Mountains, orsomething like that.
But for people I do have on mywebsite, I have also a free
course that you could take onone sentence journaling.
If you've never done it, thesense of like I give you the
prompts, you're not staring at ablank page and you can have
(16:13):
just a small notebook and numberthe weeks one to seven and day
one.
What is it?
And it could be a word, itcould be a phrase, it could be a
sentence, and then if your mindstarts going, then keep going.
Some people who do one sentencejournaling is that a friend of
mine said I mark my calendar inmy notebook every hour and I
(16:36):
reflect on the word that I'mmindful of every hour and at the
end of the day I've got allthis work graph, almost mindful
love every hour.
And at the end of the day I'vegot all these, this work graph
almost.
And then I encourage peoplethat like, say, give yourself a
week and then that seventh day,just pause and reflect on what
(16:58):
you wrote, what you drew, whatyou sketched, what you, what
photographs you took, and thenmake a list of any insights
about yourself.
And then make a list of anyinsights about yourself and then
rinse and repeat and over time,you see this pattern of days.
The other thing I've had isthat I oh I didn't have it with
me, but the five year, onesentence a day, these little
journals, and I started thatfive years ago and I clearly
(17:20):
remember March 3rd of 2020writing.
There's nine cases of thisCOVID that happened in Kirkland.
I wonder how long this is goingto last.
And I go back and look at thatand I'm going oh my gosh,
several million people later andyou know we're still so.
That's those memories, thosethoughts in the moment, moment.
(17:44):
So once into one sentencejournaling I love because I can
help people.
Or, if you've not done it, it'sjust a way to get into a habit.
It's a way to build aconsistent habit.
It's one of the easiest way tobuild a consistent habit around
mindfulness Because, first ofall, before writing, it's like
you're reflecting and statingwhat was your intention today,
what did reflect on your day, oryou get a prompt and it's, and
my my philosophy aboutpracticing mindfulness is in my
(18:08):
graduate studies I took a courseon the spirituality of
Alcoholics Anonymous and one ofmy favorite lines from AA is
take what you like and leave therest.
And that is the sense ofmindfulness is like can you
embrace activities withoutjudgment and without judgment of
yourself or other people?
And if it's not helpful, moveon and it's okay?
(18:29):
So the sense of like onesentence journaling is like that
sense of habit stacking, thatsense of reflecting and even to
say I don't my, my mind isracing, I don't have anything to
say today.
It's like you own it andacknowledge it and that is okay.
It's like there's not a rightor wrong way.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
I love that April does her journaling in the
morning and I do a gratitudejournal at night.
So I write down five thingsthat I'm grateful for, and
they're usually related to whathappened that day.
You know, something greathappened with my kids or
something great happened at workor something like that.
So it's sort of a journal intime and sort of a gratitude
(19:07):
practice which always helps mego to sleep.
You emphasize mindful self-talkmantras and.
I'm pretty sure that I'm not asgood at my self-talk as I need
to be, and I was just doing somework on trusting yourself with
the commitments that you make toyourself and how can you follow
(19:30):
through on those.
Talk about the mindfulself-talk mantras and how they
help you with I don't know bodyimage, self-esteem,
accomplishing your goals.
How, how do you, how do you usethat and how does it help with
a shift in your mindset?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yes.
So first of all, I considermyself a recovering
perfectionist in my life, soself-taught and it's a work in
progress.
Self-talk is very important.
One of the things that hasstayed with me all throughout my
life and working on my ownpersonal growth is that one of
the most important voices youlisten to and are mindful of in
(20:11):
your life is the voice insideyour head and what you are
telling yourself and Brene Brownhas said this too.
It's like you would not say toyour friends what you sometimes
say to yourself internally, andso it's kind of that check and
the sense of embracing yourselfwith self-compassion.
Can you hold yourself in graceand wrapped in compassion, and
(20:39):
so the journaling or mindfulself-talk can be just one again.
One phrase, a very short phrase,like I am worthy, I am grateful
to be here, I am loved, I lovemyself, I'm a work in progress,
(21:07):
that.
So those mantras are somethingthat I can repeat over and over
again to myself and it's kind ofthis way of the image I have is
like inside your head you havean inner critic and this
positive coach and it's like andI'm aging myself too it's like,
it's like a radio dials youturn the mentally, turn the
volume down of the inner criticand just turn up the volume of
(21:30):
the of the positive coach, thepositive that says you can do
this, You've got this, you are.
You are good in the goodness ofwho you are.
And one experience that helpedme with that mantra is at work.
I was moved to a new buildingthis was before COVID and I
walked into the women's restroomto wash my hands and I come out
(21:52):
and there are sticky notes onthe mirror and it says you've
got this, you can do it, You'rehaving a great day, you are here
because you are good and youhave something to give.
You know, I mean, it's likethis and I thought this is so
cool, so I'm taking pictures.
I did the same, yeah, and everytime I would just smile and it
(22:16):
boosted my energy.
I'd walk out of the bathroomsmiling and I'm sure people who
notice me like what is going onhere, you know.
But again, it's that sense oflistening to that as a reminder
of the self-talk that I do tomyself.
How can I do that?
And I have to say, as arecovering perfectionist, that
takes a lot of work, becauseunder stress and under difficult
situations, sometimes in lifeand in work, it's like, oh, I
(22:39):
just get mad at myself and thenI intentionally pause and I say
to myself let it go.
You, you may not be at your besttoday, but you are here and
present and you will be bettertomorrow.
You know, it's just that senseof the self talk and women, you
know, in menopause it's again,it's that pivot, it's that life
(23:01):
and you know the emotionalroller coaster and to say I'm
still here in this moment.
I may not be able to controlthese emotions, but I can
control remaining calm, beingpresent or being frustrated, as
heck that I can't.
I, you know, it is what it is,not in a way to negate that, but
to say I am here and I'm awareof this and I want to face this
(23:26):
with my best self that I canbring, even if it's not my best
self today.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, I love that and it makes me think to Denise,
just the transitions in ourlives, especially for women in
midlife.
We're kind of in this,oftentimes in this middle place,
as we call it at Adobe, whereour sense of self and identity
is gone, oftentimes if we'reswitching careers or we're
(23:53):
looking at picking up a career,because we have sacrificed our
career for children and raisingfamily and now we're empty
nesters.
And what does that mean for megoing forward?
And I know I've talked to a lotof women who have just said I
don't feel like I can doanything, I don't feel like I'm
worth anything, I don't feellike I can add value.
(24:15):
So that self-talk and thosemantras can be extremely helpful
in those transitional periodsas well, can be extremely
helpful in those transitionalperiods as well.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yes, and I love nature, so I also talk to myself
.
Sometimes we do need to break abreak where we don't do
anything, and I'm very carefulabout that because I can be
really easy to kind of go offthat edge and say, oh, let's
just watch Netflix and justforget about life and things
like that, and then our restbecomes this long period of
doing nothing.
(24:47):
So I keep thinking it's okay toslow down and pause and I say,
go at a pace of a turtle.
You know, turtles are juststeady, slow, not at the pace of
a sloth where it becomes likethis.
Where it becomes like this.
I've seen Zootopia where it'slike this slow motion of a sloth
(25:07):
signing paperwork at the DMV inthe Disney movie, pixar movie,
zootopia.
But that's a balance.
That part of that is our ownself-awareness and
self-knowledge that if I need toreally just release, let go,
let everything just be and notdo anything for a while, give
myself a break.
It's like put boundaries onthat pivot of what we're doing
(25:31):
and then bring ourselves backinto what is that next thing.
But again, that's individualand that's each person's
prerogative on how to do that.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Yeah, that's great.
So before we get into howpeople can find you and a little
bit about your book, let's talkabout what people can do.
What can they do when they'rejuggling their careers, their
menopause, their kids, theirparents, their all the things
where, where?
What can they do and whereshould they start?
What can they do?
Speaker 2 (26:03):
and where should they start.
So one of the things that Ireally encourage is that what
you do is to do something small,like small.
Set reasonable expectations foryourself.
One minute we all have oneminute between something, even
walking from one end of thehallway to the next, and just in
(26:23):
that moment you can take a deepbreath.
One of my favorite breathingtechniques is box breathing.
You know, I could stop and justfor four seconds inhale, hold
for four seconds, like imaginedrawing a box, release for four
seconds and then pause and do itagain, do it twice, or just
taking a nice deep breath.
(26:43):
Or the other thing is I lovejust walking outside and taking
one lap around the house, and soset yourself reasonable
expectations to do that and thenbuild from there.
In the morning, when you wake up, if your alarm goes off, turn
(27:04):
it off, even if it's attached toyour phone, but don't pick up
your phone and look at it, pauseand say, for just this minute
I'm just going to focus on whatis my intention for today and
then move so we can have thatmoment.
Start small and do one thing,pick one activity.
(27:25):
Or I connect a lot with nature.
Nature is a great calmingmirror to us.
It helps us to pause and justbe still.
I can walk outside and say picka color, for example pink or
red.
Walk outside and say whatflower or what of nature do I
(27:48):
see in red?
I love it, like in the fallseason and spring, to say or to
say today I just want to listen,to see if I can hear any of the
birds chirping, and just to bestill, for I'm going to give
myself one minute to do that.
That again, that's a mentalreset, a recharge, and the sense
is building on those micromoments and stacking those and
(28:12):
then over time it's like I'vegot this sustainable energy,
I've got this sustainable focus,I have this mental clarity in
the midst of all the chaos, allthe pivots, all the transitions
that I'm going through.
And it's sort of like this it'slike your blood, your heart
rate, you know, is at a range.
(28:32):
It's not just flat, flat mindis not living, but you're within
a range.
And so mindfulness helps youstay in a range of clarity and
that's you know, and that's thegoal.
And then that sense of energy,that reset, that presence of
listening to someone, cansustain you.
But again, start small, get asense of timing.
(28:56):
Arianna Huffington said shecalls them 60 second micro steps
.
Do something for one minute ata time and then stack that on
top of that throughout your day.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I love that.
I love that, denise, we couldkeep talking.
Truth be told, we have a listof questions that we like to
prepare before podcasts, andthere's so many more that we
have on our list.
We're going to have to have youback, because I would love to
Fascinating, but you know, inthe meantime, how can people
find you?
(29:28):
Do you have a website?
Do you have a book?
So why don't you talk a littlebit about your book?
Tell us where you can find that.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
So what's coming out September 22nd 2024 is my book
called Burned Without BurningOut.
I have the author copy to checkfor mistakes, et cetera, and so
it's Burned Without Burning Outseven micro-mindfulness habits
for clear thinking, decisiveaction and recovery from burnout
.
I started writing this book acouple of years ago when I was
(29:56):
reflecting on my own life andhow do I want to live?
And I asked myself thisquestion as an ordinary person,
how will you spend your everydaylife doing extraordinary,
meaningful work with the timeyou have left?
And so, for women withmenopause, it's that pivot in
our lives of we see a runway,look shorter and say, okay, what
(30:19):
do I need to do, what do I wantto do, how do I want to live?
And it starts in our moments ofeveryday life, and so the book
is the result of that.
So you can find this on Amazonand it's in will be paperback,
ebook and audible.
So I did the audible recording.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Oh, I'm doing the audible.
I know I can listen to that onmy walks.
I love that, although I'd liketo dog ear and highlight.
Yes exactly, and I'd have to doboth.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
And then I have a website, denisepilescom, for
resources.
I do offer some easy.
If you've not tried mindfulnessbefore, I have a start micro
(31:07):
mindfulness email course fivedays and then a two week on
LinkedIn.
I write every day, I post onTwitter, linkedin and Medium,
and then I also offer a weeklynewsletter called One Mindful
Thing my Daring Perspectives onMindfulness.
So it's just weekly tips thatyou can do, that you can
practice or focus withoutfeeling like it's one more thing
(31:30):
on your calendar.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
You are busy.
It's not meant to overwhelm.
Yeah, Right, and by the way,listeners piles is P-Y-L-E-S, so
Denise piles P-Y-L-E-S.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
It's like piles of paper, but with a Y, there you
go.
I'm sure you've had to say thatbefore.
And why are?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
there piles of paper, I don't know.
All right, should we?
Speaker 3 (31:53):
do rapid fire.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, let's do it, let's do it.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Well, I know the answer to this, but I'm going to
ask you anyway.
Are you coffee or tea?
Denise, I'm tea.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
You have a special tea that you drink.
Yes, I drink English breakfastwith a shot of frothed milk.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Oh, that is special.
Okay, I might have to try that.
I love all these questionsbecause I try new things, yeah,
okay, what is your favoritepodcast besides this one?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
So my favorite podcast is On being by Krista
Tippett I really enjoy her work.
She has a great book calledBecoming Wise and she is in
correspondence, npr and othernews media, but she also has a
Masters of Divinity, a theologydegree, and the way she asks
(32:45):
questions to interview people,it's excellent.
It's an excellent read.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
And are you?
It's being b-e-i-n-gb-e-b-e-i-n-g.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Okay, okay, and krista tippett is t-i-p-p-e-t-t.
Okay, all right, excellent.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
What's the last thing that made you laugh?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
laugh.
Let's see, I laughed at myselffor walking out the door without
my car keys.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I'm so glad you can laugh at yourself.
I laughed at myself.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
And I think this doesn't happen that much, but
sometimes I do that, so I just Iwas able to laugh at myself,
instead of thinking oh my God,I'm losing my memory, you know?
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Yeah, exactly, it's healthy, it's healthy.
And then, on a more seriousnote, what is the best piece of
advice you've ever received?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
The best piece of advice that I ever received was
from my 92 year old mentor ofbusiness that she was in
business and in life and not andI took this as it's a.
It was a positive message ofsaying you are running out of
time, just go, don't let fearhold you back.
So it was her wisdom of sayingdo what you need to do now and
(34:10):
don't worry about it's notperfect, it's not.
You know that you're runningout of time, you don't?
You know you don't have a fulllife, you don't you know it's
like we don't have infinite timeto do everything on our to-do
list or our wishlist or ourbucket list.
And she's like don't let fearhold you back.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Great, that's great advice.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, that's great advice.
Oh gosh, we're going to make alist of all of this someday and
put it all in a book is whatwe're going to do.
All right, well, thank you somuch, denise, for spending your
afternoon with us, and it's justbeen a pleasure.
I'm so glad that Kim introducedus and that you took the time
to be on the show.
And a pleasure.
(34:52):
I'm so glad that Kim introducedus and that you took the time
to be on the show, and listeners.
Until we meet again, go findjoy in the journey.
Thank you for listening to theMedovia Menopause Podcast.
If you enjoyed today's show,please give it a thumbs up,
subscribe for future episodes,leave a review and share this
episode with a friend.
There are more than 50 millionwomen in the US who are
(35:14):
navigating the menopausetransition.
The situation is compounded bythe presence of stigma, shame
and secrecy surroundingmenopause, posing significant
challenges and disruptions inwomen's personal and
professional spheres.
Medovia is out to change thenarrative.
Learn more at Medoviacom.
(35:36):
That's M-I-D-O-V-I-A dot com.
Welcome to the Medovia Menopause Podcast, your
trusted source forevidence-based, clients-backed
information related to menopause.
Medovia is dedicated tochanging the narrative about
menopause by educating, raisingawareness and supporting women
in this stage of life, both athome and in the workplace.
(00:21):
Visit medoviacom to learn morehome and in the workplace.
Visit Medoviacom to learn more.
I'm one of your hosts, aprilHaberman, and I'm joined by Kim
Hart.
We're co-founders of Medovia,certified health coaches,
registered yoga teachers andmidlife mamas specializing in
menopause.
You're listening to anotherepisode of our podcast, where we
(00:43):
offer expert guidance for themost transformative stage of
life, bringing you realconversations, education and
resources to help you overcomechallenges and reach your full
potential through midlife.
Join us and our special guestseach episode as we bring vibrant
, fun and truthful conversationand let us help you have a
(01:07):
deeper understanding ofmenopause.
Today, we have a very specialguest joining us Denise Piles.
Denise is a writer, speaker andmicro-mindfulness coach with
over 35,000 hours of mindfulnesspractice under her belt Wow.
Her unique background as aformer nun and her work helping
(01:29):
individuals and high pressureenvironments find stillness
brings a powerful perspective totoday's conversation.
Denise has made it her missionto help others discover
nurturing stillness in adistracted world, and her
practical approach to micromindfulness through one sentence
, journaling, intentional pausesand mindful self-talk mantras
(01:51):
is truly transformative.
In this episode, we explore howmindfulness practices can offer
invaluable support for womennavigating the often
overwhelming challenges ofmenopause.
Whether you're experiencing hotflashes, anxiety or brain fog,
denise's insights will empoweryou to take small, intentional
(02:13):
steps towards calm and balance.
Let's dive in, denise welcometo the show.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Thank you, it's great to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
We're excited to have this conversation today.
You have a unique backgroundand we know that you're going to
give great insight andperspective today for our
conversation.
And I can't believe that youactually live in Edmonds.
You are our neighbor.
I'm sure that we have crossedpaths in downtown Edmonds at
(02:44):
some point, but it's great tohave you on the show and to get
to know you a little bit better.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Thank you.
Thank you, it's great to behere.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
I um just for our, just for our listeners.
I met Denise through work andhad a coffee with her a couple
of months ago, and it was one ofthose coffees that we, um,
couldn't stop.
We wanted to be like we'retaking our watch like gosh.
There's so much to learn fromeach other, so really happy to
have you here, denise, thank you?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, you do.
You have such a uniquebackground and it fits so
perfectly with the work that wedo with women in midlife and
menopause.
And, you know, I think it'd bea great place to just start with
the conversation to ask youabout your mission.
You know you have so manythings that we're going to talk
(03:29):
about in this podcast, but tellus a little bit about your
mission and your ultimate drive.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Thank you.
So part of my mission is Ipivoted at midlife from a
nonprofit organization, churchwork to corporate with zero
business experience, and whatgot me there was the sense of
what I leaned on in my formerlife is that I am a nun and I
(03:58):
lived as a nun for eight yearsand then, over time, realized I
couldn't, for health andfinancial reasons, needed to
make that pivot.
But I leaned on thoseexperiences of mindfulness that
I learned as a nun to help memake that pivot to a corporate
successful career that I'm intoday in the tech industry.
(04:19):
Wow, what stays rooted is mymission is the same as I want to
(04:56):
help people find mindfulnessand stillness in life today,
which life today feels like weare living in don't have time to
practice mindfulness, and Ithought me neither.
I mean it's that sense ofmindfulness is about.
I would love to have severalhuge impact on our lives and can
help us in the bouncy housefind our balance, pick out the
(05:19):
right ball that we need to focuson right now and be present to
all the chaos with a clear mindand focus.
And so I want to help othersthat know that you have it
within you already to practicemindfulness.
You no longer have the excuseto say I don't have time because
, and that we can all do it,even in a life that we're living
(05:41):
today, that is chaotic, that'sstressful, that's constantly
changing and that AI is pushingus at the speed of faster than
how we want to live sometimes.
But we have that power withinus to slow down, just to take a
pause, be still for a moment, toclear our mind, our head, our
(06:03):
heart, and be present and thengo at life as full of war as we
can when we want to and need to.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, it's like refueling right, yeah.
That pause is really refueling,Kim.
What were you going to say?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Well, we hear often from women.
We were doing a trainingsession for a large group of
women and this one woman raisesher hand.
I'll never forget it.
She's like I don't have anytime.
I've got a disabled husband, Ihave two jobs, I have kids that
are doing this.
How am I supposed to take careof self-care?
And I was like just take abreath, Just remember to take a
(06:37):
breath.
So on that note, Denise, youpost on LinkedIn every day.
I do Micro mindfulness minutes.
How many days in a row are youup to now?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I think it's 1,218 days in a row.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah, it's worth following because it helps me
take my moments of self-care.
So let's talk about that alittle bit.
How can we take time forself-care?
About that a little bit.
How can we take time forself-care?
How are these practices able tosupport women with menopause
symptoms?
This mid-stage life you talkedabout, you know your mid-stage
changes how can women thinkabout this as a way of self-care
(07:17):
and what are your advice andguidance on those
micro-mindfulness minutes?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yes, thank you.
So one thing in looking atmenopause and and and I can
share this with this groupbecause I was forced into
menopause at an early time in mylife, as a young, as an adult
in my I was 32 when I had ahysterectomy due to
endometriosis and I sufferedfrom chronic endometriosis for
six years.
Even I had six surgeries in sixyears with because I had I was
(07:45):
one of the few women where itgrows outside the uterine wall
and to struggle with that.
It's a pivot in our lives.
It's part of that aging process.
It's part of those lifetransitions that happen in our
lives and sometimes we're incontrol of that.
We make a decision, and othertimes they try to control us.
(08:08):
Those pivots do that, and whatmicro mindfulness reminds me is
that sometimes I'm not incontrol.
And how do I just be present andrelease expectations and
release judgment, being in themoment, or judgment against
myself, and it's not adding onething to my calendar to do that,
(08:30):
but it's a mental pivot or ashift or like a short activity,
if people have never triedmindfulness before, even to give
yourself 30 seconds or 10seconds or, like you said, just
one intentional deep breath andor I used to direct the choir
and I'm saying we would alwaysstart our choir practice
(08:52):
pivoting from work or getting tothere before rehearsing is to
say to everybody take it a nicedeep breath and sigh out loud,
and that alone, psychology saysjust a focused, mindful breath
can help reduce stress.
It's sort of like this minipower boost of energy.
(09:13):
And so did we have time in theday, we're so busy, but I took
less than 10 seconds to do that.
And so then it's like can Ibuild on that, those transition
moments of going from oneactivity to the next, or my
attitude that hot flashes aregoing to hit me, the emotional
(09:35):
roller coaster up and downbouncy house?
How can I know it's happeningand how can I just take in a
deep breath and embrace thatmoment and know that that moment
will pass and I can be calm andcentered in that?
Again, that takes less than 30seconds, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
It sounds a little bit like habit stacking right.
Yes, trying to learn how to dothis.
So what's your advice andguidance for how to add this in,
like?
How do I remember oh my gosh,I'm stressed right now I how to
add this in, like, how do Iremember?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Oh my gosh, I'm stressed right now I need to
take a breath Like yeah, yeah,how do you notice?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
right.
How do you know that isstopping to notice?
Yeah, so there's two things.
One is that sense of desire,like part of one of my habits
that I talk about in the book Ihave that's coming out is
setting your intention, like inthe morning or anytime during
the day.
Is that my intention is I wantto be able to pay attention when
I need to pause or when I needto take a breath.
So that sense of mentally and Iwrite that down I keep a
(10:38):
journal with me just during theday, like a commonplace journal,
where I just take notes aboutwhat is going on in the day and
at the top I write my intentionfor the day Pay attention, what
is my, what is my, the desire ofmy heart today?
I want to lean in and listen, Iwant to be mindful of when I
(10:58):
need to breathe.
I put that on a sticky note andthen so.
Then the habit stacking ismaybe I pivot from one meeting
to the next and I see thatsticky note, or the moment my
phone rings to say, okay, I'mgoing to pause for two seconds
and take in a deep breath beforeI pick it up and even look at
(11:20):
who it's from, or I try to havemy phone upside down when I'm
working so I don't see thescreen.
So it's habit stacking on.
Pay attention during your day.
What are some transitionmoments?
Do you go to pick up kids atschool?
Do you go and can you drive inthe car with no nothing on, you
know, like no podcast or radioor something like that going on?
(11:43):
Just say I'm going to justfocus on driving it.
Every stoplight or every redlight stop sign, I'm going to
take a deep breath and justbreathe.
Or I'm going to pay attentionto what's going in my head and
just mentally say, okay, I'mjust stacking that on my to-do
pile for now and I'm going tostay focused on what I'm doing.
(12:03):
So they're just short, littlelike it's finding out.
Where are those opportunities inyour day that you pivot to from
one activity to the next?
I currently work fully, 100%,at home, remotely, and so I'd
have a shutdown ritual in theevening where I shut down my
(12:24):
laptop and I just pause with myhands on top of my laptop and
taking a deep breath and say I'mletting all this go, it's not
going anywhere and nobody'sgoing to die at work on on and
this and just say, just puttingsetting realistic expectations
and I can.
When I open it it's going to beright here with me and I can
(12:45):
face it tomorrow.
So that's kind of like just and, like I said, that's 30 seconds
of shutting, literally shuttingdown and pivoting to the next
thing.
So that habit stacking of ishelpful you turn on a light
switch.
You know, that's another onethat's coming.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah, it's, intentionality right.
You have to be very intentionalwith it.
It reminds me gosh, just thingsthat come back.
You don't realize that you'vebeen doing it for so long.
When I used to run same thing,denise I would run and I would
hit.
I would tell myself you'regoing to hit that stop sign and
when you hit that stop sign,from that stop sign, all the way
(13:25):
around, that circle is yourprayer circle and you're not
going to do anything else andyou're going to turn the music
off and this is what it becomes.
So, yeah, you create thosehabits, but it has to be very,
very intentional.
And I love the post-it notereminder too, to put that
throughout the house so that asyou're going about your day, you
see it, and it's a greatreminder because we forget.
(13:45):
You know, we get busy and weforget as much intention good
intention that we have.
We're humans and we forget.
I'd love for you to unpack theone sentence journaling a little
bit more as well, because I'm ajournaler and I love that, but
I know that for a lot of people,when you say journaling and you
(14:05):
hand them an empty notebook,they don't know what to do with
that.
It's very overwhelming and notcalming.
So can you unpack that a littlebit more?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Sure, I've been journaling as well since high
school and I've kept my journalssince then and I love it and I
do various forms of journaling.
And one sentence journaling hasreally helped me, especially in
times when they're verystressful and chaotic, but it
still helps me connect with mymind and heart and body in being
(14:34):
present.
And the other thing is onesentence journaling.
So even when people say I don'tlike to write, I'm saying
that's okay.
What do you like to do?
Maybe you like to takephotographs, maybe you sketch or
doodle, maybe you like to talk,maybe you know you like to draw
.
So when I was a nun, Ijournaled every day and I was on
(15:00):
a retreat with another sisterand she English was not her
first language and she Englishwas not her first language and
on retreat she had this 11 by 14notepad and every day she drew
in color, like chalk and crayon,this incredible beautiful
picture of flowers or trees orsomething.
And that was her journal everyday.
She had a picture every day sothat so like, for example, I'll
(15:25):
move my phone, like on my phoneI have the day one journal and I
made a folder called onesentence journaling, but it's
one photograph a day that I taketo say what am I feeling, what
captures my mood, and I take nowI take lots of pictures on my
phone, on my, you know, on myphone, in my camera photos, but
(15:49):
I choose one for the day and saythis is, and most often it
centers around gratitude, orwatching the sunset in Edmonds
over the Olympic Mountains, orsomething like that.
But for people I do have on mywebsite, I have also a free
course that you could take onone sentence journaling.
If you've never done it, thesense of like I give you the
prompts, you're not staring at ablank page and you can have
(16:13):
just a small notebook and numberthe weeks one to seven and day
one.
What is it?
And it could be a word, itcould be a phrase, it could be a
sentence, and then if your mindstarts going, then keep going.
Some people who do one sentencejournaling is that a friend of
mine said I mark my calendar inmy notebook every hour and I
(16:36):
reflect on the word that I'mmindful of every hour and at the
end of the day I've got allthis work graph, almost mindful
love every hour.
And at the end of the day I'vegot all these, this work graph
almost.
And then I encourage peoplethat like, say, give yourself a
week and then that seventh day,just pause and reflect on what
(16:58):
you wrote, what you drew, whatyou sketched, what you, what
photographs you took, and thenmake a list of any insights
about yourself.
And then make a list of anyinsights about yourself and then
rinse and repeat and over time,you see this pattern of days.
The other thing I've had isthat I oh I didn't have it with
me, but the five year, onesentence a day, these little
journals, and I started thatfive years ago and I clearly
(17:20):
remember March 3rd of 2020writing.
There's nine cases of thisCOVID that happened in Kirkland.
I wonder how long this is goingto last.
And I go back and look at thatand I'm going oh my gosh,
several million people later andyou know we're still so.
That's those memories, thosethoughts in the moment, moment.
(17:44):
So once into one sentencejournaling I love because I can
help people.
Or, if you've not done it, it'sjust a way to get into a habit.
It's a way to build aconsistent habit.
It's one of the easiest way tobuild a consistent habit around
mindfulness Because, first ofall, before writing, it's like
you're reflecting and statingwhat was your intention today,
what did reflect on your day, oryou get a prompt and it's, and
my my philosophy aboutpracticing mindfulness is in my
(18:08):
graduate studies I took a courseon the spirituality of
Alcoholics Anonymous and one ofmy favorite lines from AA is
take what you like and leave therest.
And that is the sense ofmindfulness is like can you
embrace activities withoutjudgment and without judgment of
yourself or other people?
And if it's not helpful, moveon and it's okay?
(18:29):
So the sense of like onesentence journaling is like that
sense of habit stacking, thatsense of reflecting and even to
say I don't my, my mind isracing, I don't have anything to
say today.
It's like you own it andacknowledge it and that is okay.
It's like there's not a rightor wrong way.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
I love that April does her journaling in the
morning and I do a gratitudejournal at night.
So I write down five thingsthat I'm grateful for, and
they're usually related to whathappened that day.
You know, something greathappened with my kids or
something great happened at workor something like that.
So it's sort of a journal intime and sort of a gratitude
(19:07):
practice which always helps mego to sleep.
You emphasize mindful self-talkmantras and.
I'm pretty sure that I'm not asgood at my self-talk as I need
to be, and I was just doing somework on trusting yourself with
the commitments that you make toyourself and how can you follow
(19:30):
through on those.
Talk about the mindfulself-talk mantras and how they
help you with I don't know bodyimage, self-esteem,
accomplishing your goals.
How, how do you, how do you usethat and how does it help with
a shift in your mindset?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yes.
So first of all, I considermyself a recovering
perfectionist in my life, soself-taught and it's a work in
progress.
Self-talk is very important.
One of the things that hasstayed with me all throughout my
life and working on my ownpersonal growth is that one of
the most important voices youlisten to and are mindful of in
(20:11):
your life is the voice insideyour head and what you are
telling yourself and Brene Brownhas said this too.
It's like you would not say toyour friends what you sometimes
say to yourself internally, andso it's kind of that check and
the sense of embracing yourselfwith self-compassion.
Can you hold yourself in graceand wrapped in compassion, and
(20:39):
so the journaling or mindfulself-talk can be just one again.
One phrase, a very short phrase,like I am worthy, I am grateful
to be here, I am loved, I lovemyself, I'm a work in progress,
(21:07):
that.
So those mantras are somethingthat I can repeat over and over
again to myself and it's kind ofthis way of the image I have is
like inside your head you havean inner critic and this
positive coach and it's like andI'm aging myself too it's like,
it's like a radio dials youturn the mentally, turn the
volume down of the inner criticand just turn up the volume of
(21:30):
the of the positive coach, thepositive that says you can do
this, You've got this, you are.
You are good in the goodness ofwho you are.
And one experience that helpedme with that mantra is at work.
I was moved to a new buildingthis was before COVID and I
walked into the women's restroomto wash my hands and I come out
(21:52):
and there are sticky notes onthe mirror and it says you've
got this, you can do it, You'rehaving a great day, you are here
because you are good and youhave something to give.
You know, I mean, it's likethis and I thought this is so
cool, so I'm taking pictures.
I did the same, yeah, and everytime I would just smile and it
(22:16):
boosted my energy.
I'd walk out of the bathroomsmiling and I'm sure people who
notice me like what is going onhere, you know.
But again, it's that sense oflistening to that as a reminder
of the self-talk that I do tomyself.
How can I do that?
And I have to say, as arecovering perfectionist, that
takes a lot of work, becauseunder stress and under difficult
situations, sometimes in lifeand in work, it's like, oh, I
(22:39):
just get mad at myself and thenI intentionally pause and I say
to myself let it go.
You, you may not be at your besttoday, but you are here and
present and you will be bettertomorrow.
You know, it's just that senseof the self talk and women, you
know, in menopause it's again,it's that pivot, it's that life
(23:01):
and you know the emotionalroller coaster and to say I'm
still here in this moment.
I may not be able to controlthese emotions, but I can
control remaining calm, beingpresent or being frustrated, as
heck that I can't.
I, you know, it is what it is,not in a way to negate that, but
to say I am here and I'm awareof this and I want to face this
(23:26):
with my best self that I canbring, even if it's not my best
self today.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, I love that and it makes me think to Denise,
just the transitions in ourlives, especially for women in
midlife.
We're kind of in this,oftentimes in this middle place,
as we call it at Adobe, whereour sense of self and identity
is gone, oftentimes if we'reswitching careers or we're
(23:53):
looking at picking up a career,because we have sacrificed our
career for children and raisingfamily and now we're empty
nesters.
And what does that mean for megoing forward?
And I know I've talked to a lotof women who have just said I
don't feel like I can doanything, I don't feel like I'm
worth anything, I don't feellike I can add value.
(24:15):
So that self-talk and thosemantras can be extremely helpful
in those transitional periodsas well, can be extremely
helpful in those transitionalperiods as well.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yes, and I love nature, so I also talk to myself
.
Sometimes we do need to break abreak where we don't do
anything, and I'm very carefulabout that because I can be
really easy to kind of go offthat edge and say, oh, let's
just watch Netflix and justforget about life and things
like that, and then our restbecomes this long period of
doing nothing.
(24:47):
So I keep thinking it's okay toslow down and pause and I say,
go at a pace of a turtle.
You know, turtles are juststeady, slow, not at the pace of
a sloth where it becomes likethis.
Where it becomes like this.
I've seen Zootopia where it'slike this slow motion of a sloth
(25:07):
signing paperwork at the DMV inthe Disney movie, pixar movie,
zootopia.
But that's a balance.
That part of that is our ownself-awareness and
self-knowledge that if I need toreally just release, let go,
let everything just be and notdo anything for a while, give
myself a break.
It's like put boundaries onthat pivot of what we're doing
(25:31):
and then bring ourselves backinto what is that next thing.
But again, that's individualand that's each person's
prerogative on how to do that.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Yeah, that's great.
So before we get into howpeople can find you and a little
bit about your book, let's talkabout what people can do.
What can they do when they'rejuggling their careers, their
menopause, their kids, theirparents, their all the things
where, where?
What can they do and whereshould they start?
What can they do?
Speaker 2 (26:03):
and where should they start.
So one of the things that Ireally encourage is that what
you do is to do something small,like small.
Set reasonable expectations foryourself.
One minute we all have oneminute between something, even
walking from one end of thehallway to the next, and just in
(26:23):
that moment you can take a deepbreath.
One of my favorite breathingtechniques is box breathing.
You know, I could stop and justfor four seconds inhale, hold
for four seconds, like imaginedrawing a box, release for four
seconds and then pause and do itagain, do it twice, or just
taking a nice deep breath.
(26:43):
Or the other thing is I lovejust walking outside and taking
one lap around the house, and soset yourself reasonable
expectations to do that and thenbuild from there.
In the morning, when you wake up, if your alarm goes off, turn
(27:04):
it off, even if it's attached toyour phone, but don't pick up
your phone and look at it, pauseand say, for just this minute
I'm just going to focus on whatis my intention for today and
then move so we can have thatmoment.
Start small and do one thing,pick one activity.
(27:25):
Or I connect a lot with nature.
Nature is a great calmingmirror to us.
It helps us to pause and justbe still.
I can walk outside and say picka color, for example pink or
red.
Walk outside and say whatflower or what of nature do I
(27:48):
see in red?
I love it, like in the fallseason and spring, to say or to
say today I just want to listen,to see if I can hear any of the
birds chirping, and just to bestill, for I'm going to give
myself one minute to do that.
That again, that's a mentalreset, a recharge, and the sense
is building on those micromoments and stacking those and
(28:12):
then over time it's like I'vegot this sustainable energy,
I've got this sustainable focus,I have this mental clarity in
the midst of all the chaos, allthe pivots, all the transitions
that I'm going through.
And it's sort of like this it'slike your blood, your heart
rate, you know, is at a range.
(28:32):
It's not just flat, flat mindis not living, but you're within
a range.
And so mindfulness helps youstay in a range of clarity and
that's you know, and that's thegoal.
And then that sense of energy,that reset, that presence of
listening to someone, cansustain you.
But again, start small, get asense of timing.
(28:56):
Arianna Huffington said shecalls them 60 second micro steps
.
Do something for one minute ata time and then stack that on
top of that throughout your day.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I love that.
I love that, denise, we couldkeep talking.
Truth be told, we have a listof questions that we like to
prepare before podcasts, andthere's so many more that we
have on our list.
We're going to have to have youback, because I would love to
Fascinating, but you know, inthe meantime, how can people
find you?
(29:28):
Do you have a website?
Do you have a book?
So why don't you talk a littlebit about your book?
Tell us where you can find that.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
So what's coming out September 22nd 2024 is my book
called Burned Without BurningOut.
I have the author copy to checkfor mistakes, et cetera, and so
it's Burned Without Burning Outseven micro-mindfulness habits
for clear thinking, decisiveaction and recovery from burnout
.
I started writing this book acouple of years ago when I was
(29:56):
reflecting on my own life andhow do I want to live?
And I asked myself thisquestion as an ordinary person,
how will you spend your everydaylife doing extraordinary,
meaningful work with the timeyou have left?
And so, for women withmenopause, it's that pivot in
our lives of we see a runway,look shorter and say, okay, what
(30:19):
do I need to do, what do I wantto do, how do I want to live?
And it starts in our moments ofeveryday life, and so the book
is the result of that.
So you can find this on Amazonand it's in will be paperback,
ebook and audible.
So I did the audible recording.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Oh, I'm doing the audible.
I know I can listen to that onmy walks.
I love that, although I'd liketo dog ear and highlight.
Yes exactly, and I'd have to doboth.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
And then I have a website, denisepilescom, for
resources.
I do offer some easy.
If you've not tried mindfulnessbefore, I have a start micro
(31:07):
mindfulness email course fivedays and then a two week on
LinkedIn.
I write every day, I post onTwitter, linkedin and Medium,
and then I also offer a weeklynewsletter called One Mindful
Thing my Daring Perspectives onMindfulness.
So it's just weekly tips thatyou can do, that you can
practice or focus withoutfeeling like it's one more thing
(31:30):
on your calendar.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
You are busy.
It's not meant to overwhelm.
Yeah, Right, and by the way,listeners piles is P-Y-L-E-S, so
Denise piles P-Y-L-E-S.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
It's like piles of paper, but with a Y, there you
go.
I'm sure you've had to say thatbefore.
And why are?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
there piles of paper, I don't know.
All right, should we?
Speaker 3 (31:53):
do rapid fire.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, let's do it, let's do it.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Well, I know the answer to this, but I'm going to
ask you anyway.
Are you coffee or tea?
Denise, I'm tea.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
You have a special tea that you drink.
Yes, I drink English breakfastwith a shot of frothed milk.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Oh, that is special.
Okay, I might have to try that.
I love all these questionsbecause I try new things, yeah,
okay, what is your favoritepodcast besides this one?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
So my favorite podcast is On being by Krista
Tippett I really enjoy her work.
She has a great book calledBecoming Wise and she is in
correspondence, npr and othernews media, but she also has a
Masters of Divinity, a theologydegree, and the way she asks
(32:45):
questions to interview people,it's excellent.
It's an excellent read.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
And are you?
It's being b-e-i-n-gb-e-b-e-i-n-g.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Okay, okay, and krista tippett is t-i-p-p-e-t-t.
Okay, all right, excellent.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
What's the last thing that made you laugh?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
laugh.
Let's see, I laughed at myselffor walking out the door without
my car keys.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I'm so glad you can laugh at yourself.
I laughed at myself.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
And I think this doesn't happen that much, but
sometimes I do that, so I just Iwas able to laugh at myself,
instead of thinking oh my God,I'm losing my memory, you know?
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Yeah, exactly, it's healthy, it's healthy.
And then, on a more seriousnote, what is the best piece of
advice you've ever received?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
The best piece of advice that I ever received was
from my 92 year old mentor ofbusiness that she was in
business and in life and not andI took this as it's a.
It was a positive message ofsaying you are running out of
time, just go, don't let fearhold you back.
So it was her wisdom of sayingdo what you need to do now and
(34:10):
don't worry about it's notperfect, it's not.
You know that you're runningout of time, you don't?
You know you don't have a fulllife, you don't you know it's
like we don't have infinite timeto do everything on our to-do
list or our wishlist or ourbucket list.
And she's like don't let fearhold you back.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Great, that's great advice.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, that's great advice.
Oh gosh, we're going to make alist of all of this someday and
put it all in a book is whatwe're going to do.
All right, well, thank you somuch, denise, for spending your
afternoon with us, and it's justbeen a pleasure.
I'm so glad that Kim introducedus and that you took the time
to be on the show.
And a pleasure.
(34:52):
I'm so glad that Kim introducedus and that you took the time
to be on the show, and listeners.
Until we meet again, go findjoy in the journey.
Thank you for listening to theMedovia Menopause Podcast.
If you enjoyed today's show,please give it a thumbs up,
subscribe for future episodes,leave a review and share this
episode with a friend.
There are more than 50 millionwomen in the US who are
(35:14):
navigating the menopausetransition.
The situation is compounded bythe presence of stigma, shame
and secrecy surroundingmenopause, posing significant
challenges and disruptions inwomen's personal and
professional spheres.
Medovia is out to change thenarrative.
Learn more at Medoviacom.
(35:36):
That's M-I-D-O-V-I-A dot com.
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