Self-Care or Slow Fade? Recognizing When You're Checking Out

Have you been quietly stepping back from your own life? The phenomenon of "quiet quitting" has evolved beyond workplace boundaries into something more pervasive and potentially harmful. I'm exploring what I call "Quiet Quitting 2.0" – the subtle ways we disengage not just from our jobs, but from friendships, hobbies, and personal growth while convincing ourselves it's just self-care.

The world has thrown countless challenges our way – economic uncertainty, technological disruption, social upheaval – making retreat feel like the safest option. But there's a critical distinction we need to recognize: are we truly protecting our mental health, or simply avoiding life's challenges? True self-care recharges you for tomorrow's engagement; avoidance just helps you escape facing tomorrow altogether. One creates space for renewal; the other slowly shrinks your life.

Drawing from personal experience opening a bagel shop with zero café experience (yes, it's been terrifying!), I share practical ways to recognize when you've crossed from healthy boundary-setting into harmful disengagement. You'll learn how to identify whether your reduced effort is temporary or has become a permanent lowering of your life expectations, and simple strategies to re-engage one step at a time. Because while our minds and bodies naturally seek the path of least resistance, true fulfillment comes from intentional engagement – even when it's uncomfortable. Safety without engagement leads to stagnation, which feels remarkably like burnout, just in slow motion. Join me to explore this balance between protection and participation, between merely existing and truly living.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode
of the Michael Muldoon Podcast.
Hope you're doing well.
Yep, I'm back.
I know I'm trying to be asconsistent as I can.
I'm still beating myself upbecause for years, every week, I
was there.
But I got crazy busy because mywife and I decided to try
something neither one of us hasever done.
You probably heard me talkabout this.
We opened up a bagel shopcoffee bagel shop here in town
where we moved to in England.
Doing really well, it's busy,but it's a lot because we've

(00:24):
never done it before.
We have never done.
I never even worked in a cafebefore.
I never made coffee before,nothing.
My wife is a lawyer.
I spend most of my time writingand some other stuff, but never
have I worked in a cafe oranything.
So it's been insanely busy anda great learning experience.
Often that fear rises, but youknow what.
You just keep pushing through.
You keep believing and you keeppushing through because life's
about living, not just existing.

(00:44):
But anyway, I want to talkabout something today.
What I kind of look at is whatis called quiet, quitting, like
maybe the 2.0 version, butnowadays this is really about
self-care or just aboutavoidance.
Right Over the past few years,that term quiet quitting we've
all heard became like a buzzword, a way of describing employees
doing the bare minimum at workwithout actually resigning.

(01:04):
You know, some held that as arebellion against you know
burnout culture.
Others saw it as adisengagement dressed up in
self-care clothing, so to speak.
But lately, just like, a newversion has emerged, and what
I'm really looking at callingthe quiet quitting 2.0, because
it's less about making astatement and more about quietly
fading away inside your ownlife.
You know, you might still showup, and again, it's not just

(01:30):
work, right, you still mightshow up to the office or to your
relationships or even topersonal goals, but you're only
halfway there.
And you know, here's the bigquestion I would ask you is this
protecting your mental healthor are you just avoiding life
altogether?

(02:11):
See, the original wave of quietquitting was basically sparked
by overwork, burnout and therealization that loyalty to a
company doesn't always equalloyalty in return.
But the new wave has sort ofshifted.
Now it's not just about theworkplace, it's about everything
.
People are lowering theiremotional investment in
friendships.
But the new wave has sort ofshifted.
Now it's not just about theworkplace, it's about everything
.
People are lowering theiremotional investment in
friendships, hobbies, evenself-improvement, because they
feel tired, skeptical or likeit's just not worth it.

(02:34):
And it's understandable.
The world's been throwingcurveballs at us Economic
uncertainty, nonstop news alerts, ai, changing job security,
rising living costs, pullingback and feel like the only safe
move.
But the tricky thing is thatpulling back and setting
boundaries can be healthy untilit quietly turns into checking

(02:55):
out right Again.
So this is that differencebetween self care versus
avoidance.
So I would ask you whateveryou're doing, is it recharging
you?
Because if it's self care, thentaking evenings to rest so you
have energy to engage you,whatever you're doing, is it
recharging you Because if it'sself-care, then taking evenings
to rest so you have energy toengage tomorrow, that's fine or
is avoidance, taking evenings toscroll endlessly because you
don't want to face tomorrow?
Whatever you're doing, does ithave intention?

(03:16):
Are you choosing what you willdo to restore balance A walk
call with a friend, journaling,doing something that is
self-care?
Or are you just choosing onlywhat you won't do, without
replacing it with anythingnourishing?
You're just deciding to donothing, which is again
avoidance and kind of what else?
Are you doing something that'stemporary or is it permanent,
like self-care.
A lot of times, pulling backduring stressful you know,

(03:37):
during stressful things or astressful season or a stressful
obstacle, whatever you're facing, you know, is okay if you know
you're going to re-engage.
But if you're permanentlylowering your effort because
you've decided it's easier toexpect less from yourself in
life, well then that's avoidance.
So if you suspect that rightnow you've drifted from sort of
healthy boundaries with yourselfinto like a quiet quitting your
own life, you got to correctthat course and the way to do it

(04:00):
.
You got to really ask yourselfam I protecting myself from
burnout or am I protectingmyself from disappointment?
Because they require differentsolutions.
You know, instead of going fromzero to 100, you know, choose
one area where you can lean inagain.
Right, you know, add one thingback in a work project you
actually care about.
A social invitation that youaccept, a personal goal you

(04:23):
start.
Don't worry about hittingeverything, Just do one thing.
See, you have to redefineeffort, because effort doesn't
have to mean overextending, itjust means showing up Present,
where you've been chosen to be,rather than trying to be
everywhere and just create afuture.
You check in.
Imagine yourself six monthsfrom now.

(04:44):
Will you thank yourself forthis sort of level of engagement
you're doing with yourselfplayed bigger.
But again, we really need tocheck this.
So, again, as I've often talkedabout the body, the mind, it'll
always take the path of leastresistance and sometimes it'll
convince us no, this is theright path, this is the right
journey.
So me, by avoiding doingeverything is doing right
because I'm feeling so muchbetter, but realistically it's

(05:04):
leading you somewhere where it'snot going to help you in the
long run.
Okay, so quiet, quitting.
You know this version.
It's seductive because itpromises safety.
Again, mind, body, everything,path of least resistance.
Keep me in the comfort zone,don't create any uncertainty,
don't create any fear, don'tcreate any discomfort.
But safety without engagementleads to stagnation and

(05:28):
stagnation feels a lot likeburnout in slow motion.
So create healthy boundaries,protect your energy.
You know avoidance will shrinkyour life.
The key is to notice whenyou're, you know when one is
quietly morphed into the other,and then to take a small,
intentional step back into thegame before you have completely
checked out and it's almostimpossible to get out of.

(05:51):
Okay, and that's what I have foryou today.
That's what I have for youtoday, right, so keep focusing.
A lot going on.
I mean, I tell you I don't eventry to look at the news, social
media anything anymore becauseit's just depressing and
sometimes you wonder is itreally depressing or just
because they got to grab yourheadlines that are going to tell
you the most horrible thing inthe world and realistically,
maybe it's not that bad Anyway,so listen, as always.

(06:11):
I thank you so much forlistening.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
I appreciate you being hereAgain.
Those Apple likes, those shares, share with your friend,
whatever.
Hopefully this is helping you.
Maybe it'll help somebody else.
I appreciate it.
We're going into the weekendand, as always, be safe and I
got another love for you.
We'll see you next time.