October 3, 2025 • 25 mins
Your destiny starts with a single thought. In this episode of The Mindset Cafe, Devan breaks down the timeless creed: “Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your feelings. Watch your feelings, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your lifestyle. Watch your lifestyle, it becomes your destiny.”
We’ll unpack how confinement forced reflection, how thought patterns dictate reality, and why self-talk isn’t fluff—it’s architecture. You’ll learn how to spot destructive loops, upgrade inner language, and intentionally build the habits that build the life you actually want.
Thanks for listening & being part of the Mindset Cafe Community.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:19):
What's up, guys?
Welcome to another episode ofthe Mindset Cafe Podcast.
It's your boy Devin Gonzalez,and today bringing you another
solo episode.
Today's episode is off of thiscreed, I would say, um, that I
heard, and it's really trueabout mindset, and it all does
start with your mind, right?
That's one of the things thatI've talked about multiple times
(00:41):
why I love mindset and why Ibelieve so much in mindset is
that everything begins and endswith your mind, right?
In your mindset, right?
You believe you believesomething that you in uh if you
believe that you can achievesomething or you can succeed,
then you can, you will.
But the moment that you stopbelieving that you can achieve
(01:04):
it or that it's a possibility,then it is.
So the creed, I want to say, isa reminder as well as a chain of
things that you have to realizeeach step is just as important
because it affects the nextstep, right?
(01:25):
Next thing in the chain.
Most people don't realize howmuch their thoughts control
their destiny, control theirlifestyle.
So this creed says essentially,watch your thoughts, they become
your words.
Watch your words, they becomeyour feelings.
Watch your feelings, they becomeyour actions.
Watch your actions, they becomeyour habits.
(01:46):
Watch your habits, they becomeyour lifestyle, and watch your
lifestyle because it becomesyour destiny.
So, as you could see, each stepis the precursor for the next
step.
I'm gonna say the creed one moretime for you.
Um, think about each of thesteps, and we'll dive into it a
little bit today of all thedifferent steps and why they're
(02:07):
important.
But watch your thoughts, theybecome your words.
Watch your words because theybecome your feelings.
Watch your feelings because theybecome your actions, watch your
actions because they become yourhabits, watch your habits, they
become your lifestyle, and watchyour lifestyle because it
becomes your destiny.
So I used to just think thatthis is one of those like
(02:30):
motivational quotes uh that youslap on the wall until you
really think about it and youbreak it down.
It is more than that, it's notjust one of those sayings or you
know messages that looks good,sounds good, it is true.
So I wanted to break this creeddown today, not in a poetry kind
(02:53):
of way, uh, but as a playbook,because you are truly capable of
more than you let yourself outto be, right?
Then you let yourself believeyou can.
And this is whether it's infitness, I see it all the time.
Someone says they can't liftsomething, someone says they
can't do something, then theycan't, right?
(03:14):
It's too heavy, the exercise istoo hard.
Uh, business, you you know, youdon't know what to do to launch
a business, so you start tellingyourself, I don't know what to
do, I can't do that.
Well, then you can't.
So we're gonna break this down alittle bit because everything is
a ripple effect, as you've heardover numerous episodes.
I believe that every action hasa ripple effect on your next
(03:37):
actions or the actions ofothers, or essentially your
opportunities.
So let's break it down a littlebit.
Um, in terms of essentially thecreed itself, thoughts, words,
feeling, action, habit,lifestyle, destiny.
Again, the chain goes thought,word, or thoughts, words,
(04:00):
feelings, actions, habits,lifestyle, then destiny.
Each is a link to the next,right?
So if it was essentially on aposter, it'd be like thought and
then have an arrow.
Word, have an arrow, right?
Kind of deal.
But for example, the first one,thought.
(04:21):
You have a negative thought, Ican't.
Well, the next step, your wordis I can't.
Then the next step, yourfeelings are gonna be anxious.
The next thing is gonna be youraction, you're gonna avoid it.
Then your lifestyle is a habitof quitting, and then you become
your lifestyle essentiallybecomes very limited, and you
(04:44):
know, that is your destiny, isessentially a limited lifestyle.
Let's start the chain again witha more positive or empowering
thought, right?
So thought is empowering, theword becomes I'm resourceful or
I can.
The next thing becomes youraction, right?
And then that's gonna be wordsthat reflect essentially your
(05:04):
optimism.
Then you're gonna have yourfeelings of confidence, you're
gonna have actions of tryingagain, then you're gonna have a
lifestyle of the habit ofpersistence, right?
Getting up when you get knockeddown.
Just like we all know happens infitness.
You don't have a good way-in,you don't have a good uh
check-in, you know, you have acouple days off, you had a cheat
day, whatever the case may be.
(05:25):
Get back up because that'sthat's who you are.
Business, you know, a quarterdoesn't go the way you wanted
to.
Well, that doesn't mean that'sthat you can't do it, just means
that you had to learn somethings along the way.
Let's go into another one,neutral thought process, right?
First one negative, then we hadlike empowering.
(05:46):
I can, I will.
Next one, neutral.
Neutral is a not a good place tobe, but not a bad place to be.
You don't want your life just tobe in neutral, right?
Doesn't really go forward,doesn't really go back.
You doesn't really know where togo.
Um, for example, let's sayyou're an athlete, you know, the
(06:10):
first thing would be, you know,I'm neutral thoughts about
myself.
Then the words would be, youknow, this is well, this is just
practice.
This is just practice.
And it's gonna be a lot calmertone, right?
Like a little lighter feeling,but then your actions are gonna
be a little soother as well,right?
Uh smoother as well.
So there's a time, there's aplace for it.
(06:34):
Maybe you don't need to be onhyperdrive all the time, but
realize that you have to knowwhen to have that, you know,
hey, maybe this is justpractice.
Or, you know what, I need tostep it up and get we, you know,
we have a game coming up.
But your thoughts are inputs,right?
So that's what I want that allto kind of be, I guess,
(06:55):
categorized as or or boiled upto be is the first step is
essentially the input to thechain of events.
You don't control every thoughtthat goes into your brain, but
you do control the focus thatyou have on that thought.
So I'll say that again, realquick.
You don't have control of everythought that comes to mind, but
(07:15):
you do have control over yourfocus on that thought.
You have to think which thoughtsyou feed, you multiply.
For example, you wake up in adreading state, right?
You don't want to get up, you'regroggy, whatever.
Then you start doom scrolling onInstagram.
Well, now the day is gonna feelheavy, right?
(07:36):
The week's gonna start to feelheavy, a little gray.
Let's say you wake up grateful,you know, you can list three
things that you're grateful for.
Well, the day is already feelsprimed, you're ready to go,
everything feels good.
Now that's just a start, right?
That's it's a snowball effect.
So realize that you can always,let's say you get a thought
(07:57):
that's negative, you know, Ican't do something or I have to
do something.
Well, instead, just reframe ituntil I get to do something.
Because not everyone gets to gothrough what you're going
through, not everyone gets toexperience the lessons that
you're about to learn.
If you caught that, you somepeople think of stuff as you
(08:18):
know, a stress or you know, whyis this happening to me?
Reframe it and realize that thisis something that on the other
side of it is going to be alesson learned.
Not any, not everyone gets toexperience this lesson.
After you've learned the lesson,it becomes common sense to you
because you've alreadyexperienced it once.
You know what to do when ithappens again.
(08:39):
Not everyone gets that chance orthat opportunity, right?
So instead of being like, whyme?
Why not me?
I'm built for this.
So it's important just sometimeswhen those negative words come
in, just to reframe them.
And it and it's not gonna beeasy at first, but the more you
do it, the easier it gets, andthe faster your body will get
(09:02):
and your mind will get atreframing negative thought
patterns into positive,empowering, or even sometimes
neutral when it needs to be.
But think about words the wordsyou tell yourself, the self-talk
you tell yourself, and sometimesyou might even just be joking
around, those reinforce thoughtpatterns, right?
(09:24):
You know, I can't do that, I'mtoo fat.
I can't do that, you know, I'mnot big enough.
I can't do that, I'm notwhatever.
Fill in the blank.
Well, that starts to reinforcethat thought pattern.
So now anytime something similarcomes up, immediately the first
thought that's going to come tomind is something similar to
what you're telling yourself.
Self-talk becomes a script thatyour nervous system starts to
(09:48):
believe, your subconsciousdoesn't know what's true and
what's not true.
So when you're talking toyourself, why not use empowering
language in positive language sothat your thought patterns are
almost delusional in a goodsense?
There's nothing you don'tbelieve that you can't achieve.
(10:09):
Anything that you put your mindto is a possibility.
Why not have that mindset?
Right?
We had that mindset when we werekids.
We were told that we were ableto do anything we wanted to do
in life.
Where did that change?
Are you doing are you living thelife that you want to live?
If not, why?
(10:29):
Think about it.
At what point did you settle?
Are you settling?
If you told yourself you weregonna get back into the gym, and
maybe you started, why did youstop?
Are you waiting for January 1stto roll around again and then
you're gonna start up again?
If you were gonna launch abusiness, it didn't work out,
and now you're still not doinganything with you know launching
(10:51):
a business.
Why?
I can promise you this isn't youknow, Stripe 11, you know, the
mindset cafe, all that stuff.
This is not my first business.
There's plenty of businessesthat didn't work.
They're all lessons learned aslong as you get up again.
You can't fail if you get upmore times and you fall down.
(11:12):
No one judges you on thefailures, they judge you on the
successes.
Right?
So some of the words I want youto are actually I'll give you
examples of that maybe you'recurrently doing them, you can re
start to reframe them, reshapethem.
Um, let's say you're someonethat is financially
(11:37):
irresponsible, right?
From from the past.
Instead of telling yourself ortelling others that, yeah, I'm
bad with money, the reframe, thereshift of words is I'm learning
to manage my money.
You're not saying that you'regreat with your money, you're
not saying you're bad with yourmoney, but I'm learning to
manage it.
I hate doing cardio.
(11:58):
I'm building up the my lungcapacity, right?
Instead of I try, I'll try, Iwill.
I'll commit.
That's the biggest one.
I hate when people say, I'lltry.
You know, I'll try to make it,or yeah, I'll try to do that,
you know, work out.
I'll try.
It's like you already gaveyourself an out, and then oh, it
didn't work out.
I tried.
(12:18):
No, like fuck that.
Commit to it.
Tell yourself you're gonna doit.
Why not?
So those are some of the bigones, um, and and first ones
that come to my mind.
But the next thing going intofeelings feelings you have to
realize are emotions and they'resupposed to be feedback, but
(12:42):
they're not supposed to beorders or um commands, right?
And what I mean by that isfeelings arise from the words or
from your thoughts, becausethat's the third step in the
chain, right?
But they don't dictate what youactually do.
Feelings are signals that aresupposed to be there to help you
(13:02):
navigate, but they're not lawsthat you have to obey.
For example, you all of a suddenget butterflies in your stomach,
you're scared to you know, pitcha um a business idea.
Well, that signal is reallygrowth because you have to
realize that anything that isscary, anything that is hard,
(13:23):
anything that is going to takeyou outside your norm usually
means it's an opportunity ofgrowth.
Usually it means this is a timefor you to level up and get
better at something you're notgood at yet.
This is something, this is anopportunity not everyone gets to
do.
For example, another one, all ofa sudden you're you're tired,
(13:49):
you know, before you're supposedto go to a workout.
That's the signal.
Well, this is a time I get tonot quit.
This is the time I get to go,you know, commit.
This is the time I get to pushthrough and not listen to my my
mind telling me that I shouldjust go home and watch, you
know, Netflix.
All of a sudden you get angry ina conversation.
(14:11):
What's this what the signalwould be your anger?
But what is what is the thereason behind it?
What's the action?
Well, there's maybe someboundaries that were violated,
maybe there's some lines thatwere crossed.
So again, you don't need toreact on that action, understand
what happened, and allowyourself to adjust.
Why did you get bad?
(14:33):
What was the what was the thingthe underlying issue that you
know made you feel the way youfelt?
Your feelings don't dictate youractions, right?
Your feelings, I'll rephrasethat.
Your feelings don't dictate youractions, they are the next step
to your actions, but youractions essentially are
(14:55):
controlled by you.
So I feel angry, all of a suddenI could understand why I feel
angry.
Now I'm not angry, now myactions will not be out of
anger.
If that makes sense.
Just because the feeling is Adoesn't need to mean it it needs
to stay as feeling A before Itake the next step.
I can change feeling A tofeeling B and then take the next
(15:20):
step to action.
So realize that actions are yourfeelings but in motion.
You can change your feelingsjust like you can change your
thoughts from negative topositive before the words come.
The words you can change anegative uh sentence, right?
(15:43):
I can't to I will before thenext step.
Each step you can change and youget faster at changing them, and
then they start to just go in astraight line of empowerment or
encouragement or you know,self-belief.
But you have to be willing tounderstand and evaluate the
negative negativity or thelimitations when they arise at
(16:06):
any of the steps.
So realize like the thought Ican't sell, the words you know
become more like apologetic toyourself.
Well, I can't sell, I'm sorry.
No, that the action is you don'teven try to close, you don't try
to sell the thing.
But if your thought pattern isI'm a leader, I'm gonna show the
team how it's done, all of asudden you have a decisive
(16:29):
self-talk, you have empoweringself-talk, and now all of a
sudden you have clear directionon how you're gonna try to show
the team, right?
If you have the thought pattern,the one that I hate, I'll try.
That's your thought and yourword.
Now your action is gonna be halfeffort.
I'll try.
If it doesn't start to work out,I'm just gonna give up, right?
(16:51):
I tried, right?
So again, I take the I tried outof your vocabulary.
That phrase, it is the mostannoying phrase to hear.
I promise you.
Um just think about the lasttime someone told you that you
were you were depending on themto do something, and they say,
Oh, well, I I tried, I justtried.
(17:11):
You know, it's like, okay, nowwhat?
Um after your after the actions,you have your habits, right?
So your your habits are youractions but automated, meaning
that you've adjusted that stepmultiple times, and now it's
just an automation.
This is this is what you do,this is who you are, this is how
(17:32):
you do it.
For example, you had to changethe thought patterns at each
step, getting up to being adaily gym goer.
But now your daily gymattendance is autopilot.
You don't think about it, youdrive straight there after work.
All of a sudden, you know,you're daydreaming as you're
driving, you just show up at thegym because that's what you do
every single day.
(17:52):
That's what you do after afterwork or whatever the case may
be, right?
So your actions on repeatessentially are your habits.
It skips the conscious effort ofthinking, it skips the conscious
effort of you having to decidewhat is good, what is bad.
You've already built up thehabit of it becoming a piece of
(18:16):
you.
Now, the lifestyle part, thelast part of the the phrase is
simply all your habits stacktogether.
It's essentially your choices,your habits over years.
For example, you eat fast foodfive times a week, your
(18:36):
lifestyle is gonna be a littlefatigued, a little overweight, a
little, you know, lazy,sluggish.
Let's say you have built up thehabit of reading 15 minutes a
day, you know, 10 pages a day,whatever the case may be.
Well, you're gonna have alifestyle of more of knowledge,
you're gonna be moreopportunistic.
Opportunistic.
(18:58):
Yeah.
Um, and you're gonna have awealth of knowledge that you can
implement to help you at anystage of life or you know, doing
different things.
Networking weekly, let's say,well, the more you network, the
bigger your network, the moreopportunity you present
yourself, right?
So you have to realize that thehabits that you start to do over
time start to compound into yourlifestyle.
(19:22):
You go to the gym every singleday for a month, it it's the
start of a habit, but you go tothe gym, you know, let's say
five days a week, five days aweek for a year, two years,
three years, like your lifestyleis gonna be completely different
than if you don't go to the gymfor a year, two years, three
years, right?
(19:42):
So realize that your lifestyles,your lifestyle, which is the
compound essentially of yourhabits, your lifestyle, and all
your habits combined,essentially is adjustable to any
(20:02):
new habits, any new actions, anynew um lifestyle choices that
you choose, which is yourdestiny.
It's just your lifestyleextended over time.
When people say you choose yourown destiny, what they're saying
essentially is you choose thehabits that you do, you choose
the actions you do, you choosethe words that you tell
(20:24):
yourself, you choose the limitsthat you put in your own mind,
right?
They reverse break it down.
Right?
Show me your lifestyle, show meyour habits, and I can guarantee
we can talk about, and I'll tellyou how you talk to yourself,
the things that you think, andand so forth.
You choose your destiny byreverse engineering it.
Start with your thoughts.
(20:46):
Then comes what the words, thencomes the feelings, right?
And so break it down step bystep over time, it starts to get
easier, it starts to get better.
And if you start to watch yourthoughts, your lifestyle will
change as long as you follow therest of the steps.
Um, but honestly, with thatthough, you have to realize that
(21:08):
I know we mentioned it multipletimes, and I talk about this,
you know, with guests in on soloepisodes, but you have to
self-reflect.
Something made you feel a typeof way, why?
And there's no right or wronganswer, there's only the answer
that matters to you, and you'rethe only one that is gonna know
it if it's truthful or not.
(21:30):
But your understanding of thatthing or that emotion or that
action and your conscious effortto change it for the better is
all up to you.
You control this, no one canmake you do it.
I can't force you to tell you tothink better about yourself.
(21:51):
I can say the words, I can makeyou motivated, I can do all that
kind of stuff in the moment, butthen you walk out the door, and
now again, you're in control.
But why not give yourself allthe opportunities in the world?
Because, like you've heard mesay before, you're not that
(22:12):
special, you're not that specialfor it to work out for everybody
else, and everyone else achievegoals, and everyone else, you
know, get to the fitness goalsthey want, and the business
goals they want, and therelationship goals they want,
and it worked out for everyoneelse, but it not work out for
you.
If you do all of the habits andall of the things that you need
to do on a consistent basis, notfor a day, not for a week, not
(22:35):
for a month, but day after dayafter day after day for as long
as it takes, it is inevitable.
You will achieve what you setout to achieve.
You have to do so much that itis undeniable for you not to
achieve it.
So I just want you guys toreally think about the the creed
(22:56):
itself and hopefully break somenegative, you know, self-talk,
negative thoughts that are goingto your mind because that's one
of the biggest things people andclients over the years and and
stuff have talked to me, andthey're like, You're you're
different.
You just you know, you could doanything.
It's like, no, I don't thinkthat.
I have to go through the same,you know, ramp up of proving to
(23:19):
myself that I could do certaincertain things, but it doesn't
mean I believe in myself rightaway.
I have to shift that mindset andunderstand why do I think that I
can't.
One of the things I do is I lookat someone else that achieved it
and said, well, if they could doit, I could do it.
There's my proof.
So I hope this helped.
(23:39):
Um, one little actually lastlast little bit I just
remembered is sometimes yourenvironment also shapes shapes
your your thoughts, right?
Who are you hanging out with?
Who are you spending the mosttime with?
How do they think?
How are they talking aboutthemselves?
How are they talking about you?
Because your environment startsto shape how you believe in
yourself.
(24:00):
So if it's not currently alignedwith what your goals are, maybe
it's time to change yourenvironment so that you can
change your thoughts.
Your thoughts can change towords, right?
The words change to feelings,feelings to actions, actions to
habits, habits to um habits tolifestyle, lifestyle destiny,
right?
So sometimes it's just theenvironment.
Just because they're yourfriends, just because they're,
(24:22):
you know, your family, doesn'tmean you need to spend all your
time with them if it doesn'tsuit what you're trying to
achieve.
As harsh as that sounds, at theend of the day, you have to do
what you need to do to achievethe life you want to achieve.
But I hope that got I hope thathelps, guys.
I know this is a little bitlonger of an episode.
I just want to let you guys knowI appreciate all you guys.
I love all you guys.
(24:43):
If you guys ever need anything,just reach out to me.
You can you know message me onon IG or or any of the
platforms.
Um happy to help any way I can.
Make sure you guys leave areview and share this episode
with a friend.
What's up, guys?
Welcome to another episode ofthe Mindset Cafe Podcast.
It's your boy Devin Gonzalez,and today bringing you another
solo episode.
Today's episode is off of thiscreed, I would say, um, that I
heard, and it's really trueabout mindset, and it all does
start with your mind, right?
That's one of the things thatI've talked about multiple times
(00:41):
why I love mindset and why Ibelieve so much in mindset is
that everything begins and endswith your mind, right?
In your mindset, right?
You believe you believesomething that you in uh if you
believe that you can achievesomething or you can succeed,
then you can, you will.
But the moment that you stopbelieving that you can achieve
(01:04):
it or that it's a possibility,then it is.
So the creed, I want to say, isa reminder as well as a chain of
things that you have to realizeeach step is just as important
because it affects the nextstep, right?
(01:25):
Next thing in the chain.
Most people don't realize howmuch their thoughts control
their destiny, control theirlifestyle.
So this creed says essentially,watch your thoughts, they become
your words.
Watch your words, they becomeyour feelings.
Watch your feelings, they becomeyour actions.
Watch your actions, they becomeyour habits.
(01:46):
Watch your habits, they becomeyour lifestyle, and watch your
lifestyle because it becomesyour destiny.
So, as you could see, each stepis the precursor for the next
step.
I'm gonna say the creed one moretime for you.
Um, think about each of thesteps, and we'll dive into it a
little bit today of all thedifferent steps and why they're
(02:07):
important.
But watch your thoughts, theybecome your words.
Watch your words because theybecome your feelings.
Watch your feelings because theybecome your actions, watch your
actions because they become yourhabits, watch your habits, they
become your lifestyle, and watchyour lifestyle because it
becomes your destiny.
So I used to just think thatthis is one of those like
(02:30):
motivational quotes uh that youslap on the wall until you
really think about it and youbreak it down.
It is more than that, it's notjust one of those sayings or you
know messages that looks good,sounds good, it is true.
So I wanted to break this creeddown today, not in a poetry kind
(02:53):
of way, uh, but as a playbook,because you are truly capable of
more than you let yourself outto be, right?
Then you let yourself believeyou can.
And this is whether it's infitness, I see it all the time.
Someone says they can't liftsomething, someone says they
can't do something, then theycan't, right?
(03:14):
It's too heavy, the exercise istoo hard.
Uh, business, you you know, youdon't know what to do to launch
a business, so you start tellingyourself, I don't know what to
do, I can't do that.
Well, then you can't.
So we're gonna break this down alittle bit because everything is
a ripple effect, as you've heardover numerous episodes.
I believe that every action hasa ripple effect on your next
(03:37):
actions or the actions ofothers, or essentially your
opportunities.
So let's break it down a littlebit.
Um, in terms of essentially thecreed itself, thoughts, words,
feeling, action, habit,lifestyle, destiny.
Again, the chain goes thought,word, or thoughts, words,
(04:00):
feelings, actions, habits,lifestyle, then destiny.
Each is a link to the next,right?
So if it was essentially on aposter, it'd be like thought and
then have an arrow.
Word, have an arrow, right?
Kind of deal.
But for example, the first one,thought.
(04:21):
You have a negative thought, Ican't.
Well, the next step, your wordis I can't.
Then the next step, yourfeelings are gonna be anxious.
The next thing is gonna be youraction, you're gonna avoid it.
Then your lifestyle is a habitof quitting, and then you become
your lifestyle essentiallybecomes very limited, and you
(04:44):
know, that is your destiny, isessentially a limited lifestyle.
Let's start the chain again witha more positive or empowering
thought, right?
So thought is empowering, theword becomes I'm resourceful or
I can.
The next thing becomes youraction, right?
And then that's gonna be wordsthat reflect essentially your
(05:04):
optimism.
Then you're gonna have yourfeelings of confidence, you're
gonna have actions of tryingagain, then you're gonna have a
lifestyle of the habit ofpersistence, right?
Getting up when you get knockeddown.
Just like we all know happens infitness.
You don't have a good way-in,you don't have a good uh
check-in, you know, you have acouple days off, you had a cheat
day, whatever the case may be.
(05:25):
Get back up because that'sthat's who you are.
Business, you know, a quarterdoesn't go the way you wanted
to.
Well, that doesn't mean that'sthat you can't do it, just means
that you had to learn somethings along the way.
Let's go into another one,neutral thought process, right?
First one negative, then we hadlike empowering.
(05:46):
I can, I will.
Next one, neutral.
Neutral is a not a good place tobe, but not a bad place to be.
You don't want your life just tobe in neutral, right?
Doesn't really go forward,doesn't really go back.
You doesn't really know where togo.
Um, for example, let's sayyou're an athlete, you know, the
(06:10):
first thing would be, you know,I'm neutral thoughts about
myself.
Then the words would be, youknow, this is well, this is just
practice.
This is just practice.
And it's gonna be a lot calmertone, right?
Like a little lighter feeling,but then your actions are gonna
be a little soother as well,right?
Uh smoother as well.
So there's a time, there's aplace for it.
(06:34):
Maybe you don't need to be onhyperdrive all the time, but
realize that you have to knowwhen to have that, you know,
hey, maybe this is justpractice.
Or, you know what, I need tostep it up and get we, you know,
we have a game coming up.
But your thoughts are inputs,right?
So that's what I want that allto kind of be, I guess,
(06:55):
categorized as or or boiled upto be is the first step is
essentially the input to thechain of events.
You don't control every thoughtthat goes into your brain, but
you do control the focus thatyou have on that thought.
So I'll say that again, realquick.
You don't have control of everythought that comes to mind, but
(07:15):
you do have control over yourfocus on that thought.
You have to think which thoughtsyou feed, you multiply.
For example, you wake up in adreading state, right?
You don't want to get up, you'regroggy, whatever.
Then you start doom scrolling onInstagram.
Well, now the day is gonna feelheavy, right?
(07:36):
The week's gonna start to feelheavy, a little gray.
Let's say you wake up grateful,you know, you can list three
things that you're grateful for.
Well, the day is already feelsprimed, you're ready to go,
everything feels good.
Now that's just a start, right?
That's it's a snowball effect.
So realize that you can always,let's say you get a thought
(07:57):
that's negative, you know, Ican't do something or I have to
do something.
Well, instead, just reframe ituntil I get to do something.
Because not everyone gets to gothrough what you're going
through, not everyone gets toexperience the lessons that
you're about to learn.
If you caught that, you somepeople think of stuff as you
(08:18):
know, a stress or you know, whyis this happening to me?
Reframe it and realize that thisis something that on the other
side of it is going to be alesson learned.
Not any, not everyone gets toexperience this lesson.
After you've learned the lesson,it becomes common sense to you
because you've alreadyexperienced it once.
You know what to do when ithappens again.
(08:39):
Not everyone gets that chance orthat opportunity, right?
So instead of being like, whyme?
Why not me?
I'm built for this.
So it's important just sometimeswhen those negative words come
in, just to reframe them.
And it and it's not gonna beeasy at first, but the more you
do it, the easier it gets, andthe faster your body will get
(09:02):
and your mind will get atreframing negative thought
patterns into positive,empowering, or even sometimes
neutral when it needs to be.
But think about words the wordsyou tell yourself, the self-talk
you tell yourself, and sometimesyou might even just be joking
around, those reinforce thoughtpatterns, right?
(09:24):
You know, I can't do that, I'mtoo fat.
I can't do that, you know, I'mnot big enough.
I can't do that, I'm notwhatever.
Fill in the blank.
Well, that starts to reinforcethat thought pattern.
So now anytime something similarcomes up, immediately the first
thought that's going to come tomind is something similar to
what you're telling yourself.
Self-talk becomes a script thatyour nervous system starts to
(09:48):
believe, your subconsciousdoesn't know what's true and
what's not true.
So when you're talking toyourself, why not use empowering
language in positive language sothat your thought patterns are
almost delusional in a goodsense?
There's nothing you don'tbelieve that you can't achieve.
(10:09):
Anything that you put your mindto is a possibility.
Why not have that mindset?
Right?
We had that mindset when we werekids.
We were told that we were ableto do anything we wanted to do
in life.
Where did that change?
Are you doing are you living thelife that you want to live?
If not, why?
(10:29):
Think about it.
At what point did you settle?
Are you settling?
If you told yourself you weregonna get back into the gym, and
maybe you started, why did youstop?
Are you waiting for January 1stto roll around again and then
you're gonna start up again?
If you were gonna launch abusiness, it didn't work out,
and now you're still not doinganything with you know launching
(10:51):
a business.
Why?
I can promise you this isn't youknow, Stripe 11, you know, the
mindset cafe, all that stuff.
This is not my first business.
There's plenty of businessesthat didn't work.
They're all lessons learned aslong as you get up again.
You can't fail if you get upmore times and you fall down.
(11:12):
No one judges you on thefailures, they judge you on the
successes.
Right?
So some of the words I want youto are actually I'll give you
examples of that maybe you'recurrently doing them, you can re
start to reframe them, reshapethem.
Um, let's say you're someonethat is financially
(11:37):
irresponsible, right?
From from the past.
Instead of telling yourself ortelling others that, yeah, I'm
bad with money, the reframe, thereshift of words is I'm learning
to manage my money.
You're not saying that you'regreat with your money, you're
not saying you're bad with yourmoney, but I'm learning to
manage it.
I hate doing cardio.
(11:58):
I'm building up the my lungcapacity, right?
Instead of I try, I'll try, Iwill.
I'll commit.
That's the biggest one.
I hate when people say, I'lltry.
You know, I'll try to make it,or yeah, I'll try to do that,
you know, work out.
I'll try.
It's like you already gaveyourself an out, and then oh, it
didn't work out.
I tried.
(12:18):
No, like fuck that.
Commit to it.
Tell yourself you're gonna doit.
Why not?
So those are some of the bigones, um, and and first ones
that come to my mind.
But the next thing going intofeelings feelings you have to
realize are emotions and they'resupposed to be feedback, but
(12:42):
they're not supposed to beorders or um commands, right?
And what I mean by that isfeelings arise from the words or
from your thoughts, becausethat's the third step in the
chain, right?
But they don't dictate what youactually do.
Feelings are signals that aresupposed to be there to help you
(13:02):
navigate, but they're not lawsthat you have to obey.
For example, you all of a suddenget butterflies in your stomach,
you're scared to you know, pitcha um a business idea.
Well, that signal is reallygrowth because you have to
realize that anything that isscary, anything that is hard,
(13:23):
anything that is going to takeyou outside your norm usually
means it's an opportunity ofgrowth.
Usually it means this is a timefor you to level up and get
better at something you're notgood at yet.
This is something, this is anopportunity not everyone gets to
do.
For example, another one, all ofa sudden you're you're tired,
(13:49):
you know, before you're supposedto go to a workout.
That's the signal.
Well, this is a time I get tonot quit.
This is the time I get to go,you know, commit.
This is the time I get to pushthrough and not listen to my my
mind telling me that I shouldjust go home and watch, you
know, Netflix.
All of a sudden you get angry ina conversation.
(14:11):
What's this what the signalwould be your anger?
But what is what is the thereason behind it?
What's the action?
Well, there's maybe someboundaries that were violated,
maybe there's some lines thatwere crossed.
So again, you don't need toreact on that action, understand
what happened, and allowyourself to adjust.
Why did you get bad?
(14:33):
What was the what was the thingthe underlying issue that you
know made you feel the way youfelt?
Your feelings don't dictate youractions, right?
Your feelings, I'll rephrasethat.
Your feelings don't dictate youractions, they are the next step
to your actions, but youractions essentially are
(14:55):
controlled by you.
So I feel angry, all of a suddenI could understand why I feel
angry.
Now I'm not angry, now myactions will not be out of
anger.
If that makes sense.
Just because the feeling is Adoesn't need to mean it it needs
to stay as feeling A before Itake the next step.
I can change feeling A tofeeling B and then take the next
(15:20):
step to action.
So realize that actions are yourfeelings but in motion.
You can change your feelingsjust like you can change your
thoughts from negative topositive before the words come.
The words you can change anegative uh sentence, right?
(15:43):
I can't to I will before thenext step.
Each step you can change and youget faster at changing them, and
then they start to just go in astraight line of empowerment or
encouragement or you know,self-belief.
But you have to be willing tounderstand and evaluate the
negative negativity or thelimitations when they arise at
(16:06):
any of the steps.
So realize like the thought Ican't sell, the words you know
become more like apologetic toyourself.
Well, I can't sell, I'm sorry.
No, that the action is you don'teven try to close, you don't try
to sell the thing.
But if your thought pattern isI'm a leader, I'm gonna show the
team how it's done, all of asudden you have a decisive
(16:29):
self-talk, you have empoweringself-talk, and now all of a
sudden you have clear directionon how you're gonna try to show
the team, right?
If you have the thought pattern,the one that I hate, I'll try.
That's your thought and yourword.
Now your action is gonna be halfeffort.
I'll try.
If it doesn't start to work out,I'm just gonna give up, right?
(16:51):
I tried, right?
So again, I take the I tried outof your vocabulary.
That phrase, it is the mostannoying phrase to hear.
I promise you.
Um just think about the lasttime someone told you that you
were you were depending on themto do something, and they say,
Oh, well, I I tried, I justtried.
(17:11):
You know, it's like, okay, nowwhat?
Um after your after the actions,you have your habits, right?
So your your habits are youractions but automated, meaning
that you've adjusted that stepmultiple times, and now it's
just an automation.
This is this is what you do,this is who you are, this is how
(17:32):
you do it.
For example, you had to changethe thought patterns at each
step, getting up to being adaily gym goer.
But now your daily gymattendance is autopilot.
You don't think about it, youdrive straight there after work.
All of a sudden, you know,you're daydreaming as you're
driving, you just show up at thegym because that's what you do
every single day.
(17:52):
That's what you do after afterwork or whatever the case may
be, right?
So your actions on repeatessentially are your habits.
It skips the conscious effort ofthinking, it skips the conscious
effort of you having to decidewhat is good, what is bad.
You've already built up thehabit of it becoming a piece of
(18:16):
you.
Now, the lifestyle part, thelast part of the the phrase is
simply all your habits stacktogether.
It's essentially your choices,your habits over years.
For example, you eat fast foodfive times a week, your
(18:36):
lifestyle is gonna be a littlefatigued, a little overweight, a
little, you know, lazy,sluggish.
Let's say you have built up thehabit of reading 15 minutes a
day, you know, 10 pages a day,whatever the case may be.
Well, you're gonna have alifestyle of more of knowledge,
you're gonna be moreopportunistic.
Opportunistic.
(18:58):
Yeah.
Um, and you're gonna have awealth of knowledge that you can
implement to help you at anystage of life or you know, doing
different things.
Networking weekly, let's say,well, the more you network, the
bigger your network, the moreopportunity you present
yourself, right?
So you have to realize that thehabits that you start to do over
time start to compound into yourlifestyle.
(19:22):
You go to the gym every singleday for a month, it it's the
start of a habit, but you go tothe gym, you know, let's say
five days a week, five days aweek for a year, two years,
three years, like your lifestyleis gonna be completely different
than if you don't go to the gymfor a year, two years, three
years, right?
(19:42):
So realize that your lifestyles,your lifestyle, which is the
compound essentially of yourhabits, your lifestyle, and all
your habits combined,essentially is adjustable to any
(20:02):
new habits, any new actions, anynew um lifestyle choices that
you choose, which is yourdestiny.
It's just your lifestyleextended over time.
When people say you choose yourown destiny, what they're saying
essentially is you choose thehabits that you do, you choose
the actions you do, you choosethe words that you tell
(20:24):
yourself, you choose the limitsthat you put in your own mind,
right?
They reverse break it down.
Right?
Show me your lifestyle, show meyour habits, and I can guarantee
we can talk about, and I'll tellyou how you talk to yourself,
the things that you think, andand so forth.
You choose your destiny byreverse engineering it.
Start with your thoughts.
(20:46):
Then comes what the words, thencomes the feelings, right?
And so break it down step bystep over time, it starts to get
easier, it starts to get better.
And if you start to watch yourthoughts, your lifestyle will
change as long as you follow therest of the steps.
Um, but honestly, with thatthough, you have to realize that
(21:08):
I know we mentioned it multipletimes, and I talk about this,
you know, with guests in on soloepisodes, but you have to
self-reflect.
Something made you feel a typeof way, why?
And there's no right or wronganswer, there's only the answer
that matters to you, and you'rethe only one that is gonna know
it if it's truthful or not.
(21:30):
But your understanding of thatthing or that emotion or that
action and your conscious effortto change it for the better is
all up to you.
You control this, no one canmake you do it.
I can't force you to tell you tothink better about yourself.
(21:51):
I can say the words, I can makeyou motivated, I can do all that
kind of stuff in the moment, butthen you walk out the door, and
now again, you're in control.
But why not give yourself allthe opportunities in the world?
Because, like you've heard mesay before, you're not that
(22:12):
special, you're not that specialfor it to work out for everybody
else, and everyone else achievegoals, and everyone else, you
know, get to the fitness goalsthey want, and the business
goals they want, and therelationship goals they want,
and it worked out for everyoneelse, but it not work out for
you.
If you do all of the habits andall of the things that you need
to do on a consistent basis, notfor a day, not for a week, not
(22:35):
for a month, but day after dayafter day after day for as long
as it takes, it is inevitable.
You will achieve what you setout to achieve.
You have to do so much that itis undeniable for you not to
achieve it.
So I just want you guys toreally think about the the creed
(22:56):
itself and hopefully break somenegative, you know, self-talk,
negative thoughts that are goingto your mind because that's one
of the biggest things people andclients over the years and and
stuff have talked to me, andthey're like, You're you're
different.
You just you know, you could doanything.
It's like, no, I don't thinkthat.
I have to go through the same,you know, ramp up of proving to
(23:19):
myself that I could do certaincertain things, but it doesn't
mean I believe in myself rightaway.
I have to shift that mindset andunderstand why do I think that I
can't.
One of the things I do is I lookat someone else that achieved it
and said, well, if they could doit, I could do it.
There's my proof.
So I hope this helped.
(23:39):
Um, one little actually lastlast little bit I just
remembered is sometimes yourenvironment also shapes shapes
your your thoughts, right?
Who are you hanging out with?
Who are you spending the mosttime with?
How do they think?
How are they talking aboutthemselves?
How are they talking about you?
Because your environment startsto shape how you believe in
yourself.
(24:00):
So if it's not currently alignedwith what your goals are, maybe
it's time to change yourenvironment so that you can
change your thoughts.
Your thoughts can change towords, right?
The words change to feelings,feelings to actions, actions to
habits, habits to um habits tolifestyle, lifestyle destiny,
right?
So sometimes it's just theenvironment.
Just because they're yourfriends, just because they're,
(24:22):
you know, your family, doesn'tmean you need to spend all your
time with them if it doesn'tsuit what you're trying to
achieve.
As harsh as that sounds, at theend of the day, you have to do
what you need to do to achievethe life you want to achieve.
But I hope that got I hope thathelps, guys.
I know this is a little bitlonger of an episode.
I just want to let you guys knowI appreciate all you guys.
I love all you guys.
(24:43):
If you guys ever need anything,just reach out to me.
You can you know message me onon IG or or any of the
platforms.
Um happy to help any way I can.
Make sure you guys leave areview and share this episode
with a friend.
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