Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:20):
What is up, guys?
Most people don't lose in gym inthe gym.
They don't lose, you know, inbusiness, they don't lose in
life.
You know, they lose in theirheads first.
And that's by comparing thewrong scoreboard or ignoring the
tools that would help you win.
Right.
So let's fix both.
Welcome back to the Mindset Cafepodcast.
(00:41):
It's your boy Devin.
And today I wanted to talk abouthow to stop scoreboard chasing,
right?
And how to actually use yourresources that are right in
front of you.
Right.
And maybe even change yourperspective on the fact of you
might be setting the wrongscoreboard or chasing the wrong
(01:02):
things.
Right.
Because challenges are good ifutilized correctly.
If it becomes an obsession inthe wrong way, it could work
negatively against you in amindset, a mind spec, mindset
spec aspect, I guess.
(01:22):
Um, so I wanted to go into thattoday.
Um, and a lot of this is stemmedfrom some of the conversations
that I've had over the pastcouple weeks with members at
Strive 11, as well as some ofthe conversations I've had with
some business owners, um, andpeople comparing themselves
essentially to others.
(01:43):
While that's good, in someaspects, it's not always good
because if you're comparingyourself to someone else, you're
taking time away from what youneed to do, right?
It's good in the sense of youcan see where other what other
people are doing and set a barfor yourself.
But if you're using it as adaily check-in, you're checking
(02:06):
what they're doing, you'rechecking, you know, how far
they've come, you're checking,you know, what workout they did
today.
And now you're like, man, likethey're they're cheating,
they're doing it's like, no,like you're not focusing on what
you need to do.
They have their heads down andthey're grinding.
You're up here in La La Land andyou're focusing on 10 things
that other people are doing, andyou're not focusing on one thing
(02:27):
that you need to do, right?
Or when you are focusing, you'renot giving it 100% of your
attention, right?
So the the thesis of what I wantto talk about today is really
your journey is not theirjourney.
And I know we've talked aboutthis a few times, but the reason
I wanted to bring this up iscomparing your you're comparing
(02:48):
yourself across different goals,different inputs, different
constraints, and that's startingto create fake losses in your
head.
And that's one of the mostfrustrating things that you can
do for yourself is to createthese fake losses where losses
weren't and aren't.
You're just analyzing the wrongmetrics, you're analyzing the
wrong things, and you'recomparing yourself to someone
(03:09):
that's not on maybe even thesame goal path as you.
So I want to focus on todaymaking it so that you're setting
your scoreboard so that's moregoal-specific in your progress
and really only measuring themetrics that matter, right?
Whether it's fitness, whetherit's business, whether it's your
(03:30):
relationship, right?
But let's make this real.
There's fun challenges andthere's competitive challenges,
right?
I mean, for me, all can allcompetition is is competitive,
even if it is fun.
Um, but a fun, a fun challengecan spark your consistency, it
can spark your motivation, butit's dangerous if it hijacks
(03:53):
your priorities.
And this is where I'm startingto see, even in you know, my gym
strip 11 with this bi-monthlychallenge that we have, it's
supposed to be a fun challenge.
But for some people, it'sstarting to hijack that fun
aspect, and it's getting intolike an obsession not in a good
manner, and not in a manner thatyou're obsessed about winning
(04:15):
and pushing yourself, you'rejust essentially obsessed about
what are they doing and theymust be cheating.
So, for example, I'll make thisa little bit more real, right?
If you're watching someoneelse's in in the with like if
you've ever used my zone, ifyou're listening, uh it's a
(04:36):
heart rate tracking system, andin that you get basically
different points for differentuh target heart rate zones that
you're in.
And so if you're in a heart ratezone of you know, let's say 70%,
then you're gonna be in green,right?
80% uh yellow, 90% red, soforth.
(04:58):
And so in this, the whole goalof this challenge, it's supposed
to be a competitive challengethat's fun, that just gets you
to move more in the day, right?
The whole point of the biomontalchallenge is to increase daily
activity inside and outside ofthe gym.
Because if you increase yourdaily activity, you're gonna
(05:19):
become more fit, more healthy,more happy, and so forth, right?
That's the whole purpose of thechallenge.
And during this challenge, mostof you don't realize that the
yellow zone and red zonebasically get the same points
per minute.
Now, your fitness goal, if it isto build muscle, then you're not
(05:43):
you shouldn't be hitting the redzone, the 90% zone of your heart
rate.
If you're hitting 90% whileyou're lifting weights, then
either you're maxing out, right?
Only doing a couple reps, oryou're not your heart rate's set
too low.
Because if I if we go out on arun and all of a sudden your
(06:04):
heart rate goes way higher thanit than it did when it was when
you're lifting, which it should,that's what your red zone is.
When you're lifting, you'regonna be in green and and
possibly even yellow, and maybeeven staying in yellow would be
the ideal goal.
But red is meant for sprints.
So if you're focused on red,focus on it 90%, when you're
(06:28):
focusing on lifting, they're twodifferent goals.
So if you're measuring onesecond.
(07:22):
They must be cheating.
It's like you guys are doing twodifferent things.
Like you're measuring the wrongthing, and you're focusing on
someone else on their journey,on their what they're doing, and
you're not now you're notlifting as hard as you could be
because you're so focused onwhat they're doing.
So realize that you have to setgoals and set metrics for what
(07:45):
you're doing.
If you're so focused on otherpeople and not even focusing on
maybe what their goals are, whatare they doing on a daily basis?
What are their inputs, right?
Then you can't compare apples toapples.
You're comparing apples tooranges, you're comparing two
different things, and then allof a sudden, in your own head,
(08:08):
you start creating these lossesthat weren't and aren't there.
All of a sudden, you're like,I'm not pushing myself hard
enough, I'm not doing X, Y, andZ because this person is or this
company is, and in reality,they're on a different path.
If it's business, they'rethey're scaling when you're
(08:29):
focusing on your yourfoundation, right?
They're focusing on retention,you're focused on growth.
Two different things, twodifferent strategies, two
different game boards that youguys are playing on.
And so you're comparing them toyou, and it's two different, two
completely different things, andall of a sudden you're like,
wow, they they're doing this, sothat they're they're doing
(08:51):
better than me.
It's like, again, wrong gameboard.
Now you just created a negativethought pattern in your head,
and now you're you're thinkingabout everything else that
you're doing wrong.
Instead of like, hey, I'm onthis game board, I'm executing
these things, I'm focused onthis.
We hit this metric, we hit thismilestone, right?
And then we keep going.
(09:14):
What you don't see while you'recomparing, in most cases with
business, with fitness, with youknow, relationships, whatever
the case may be, is you're notfit, you're not putting into
your comparison their inputs.
What are they doing?
You know, what are they using asresources, you know, who are
(09:34):
they who they have as mentors,you know.
But main thing is what are theyactually doing?
Because most times, we'll getinto the resource thing in a
second, but most times they justmay be doing more than you.
Let's say for workouts, they'redoing two a days, you're doing
(09:55):
one a day, and you're worriedabout them beating you in terms
of calories burned or or uhheart rate points earned, and
it's like do a second fuckingworkout if that's if that's what
you're really focused on.
If you're really focused on,hey, they're getting more points
because they're doing twoworkouts a day.
Well, guess what?
So can you do a second workout?
(10:18):
You're focused, they're focusedon business and they're you know
uh putting out more content, andit's so can fucking you put out
more content.
It's that easy, but is that yourtrue goal?
Is that doing what they'redoing, is that gonna align with
what their what your outcome isgoing to be?
Because if not, then don't doit.
(10:41):
Is that a metric something youshould be tracking?
Is that something you should becomparing?
If not, then don't compare it.
You don't need to do whatthey're doing if it's not gonna
align with your goals.
Plain and simple.
I don't understand what that'swhy that's so hard for people,
(11:02):
but realize that you need tofocus on you.
The same we always say, youversus you.
And it sounds cool, you put iton a shirt and shit, but it's
like that's really a lifestyle.
Everything needs to be youversus you.
While challenges are fun and allthat kind of stuff, and even
competitive, at the end of theday, did you show up better than
(11:22):
you did last time?
Did you do better than you didlast game?
Did you do better than you didyesterday in business?
Did you do better this year thanlast year?
It's you versus you.
If you improved, that's a win.
Maybe you're not at the levelyou need to be yet, of the
version of yourself that youneed to be at to beat whoever
(11:46):
you're trying to beat.
But as long as you beat who youwere yesterday, that's all that
matters.
Maybe they've been doing it forfive more years than you've been
doing it.
Like think about this, and inwe'll talk about competing, like
you know, like fighting, right?
Like UFC or boxing.
(12:08):
If someone's been in the game,let's say as long as you know
Canelo, right?
He's a pro, he's at the top ofhis prime.
Uh and then you have an amateurboxer that it's you know, he's a
year into boxing, goes in thering with Canelo, so obviously
he's not gonna win.
Canelo's learned other tools,he's learned other skills, he's
(12:29):
been in it longer, he's he's youknow figured out those things.
But at the same time, Canelo'sgoals are different than your
current goals.
Your goals are to improve yourskills and to get better to
become pro.
Canelo's goals are to find thenext fighter and beat that next
fighter, adapt his skills tolearn how to beat the next
(12:51):
up-and-coming person.
You have to focus on your gameboard.
I want to keep rephrasing thatand keep saying that because I
want this to get drilled intoyour head.
Now, so what do you measure?
Right?
(13:11):
That's that's the thing I thinkpeople get mixed up on too is
like, okay, well, then what do Imeasure?
What are they measuring?
That's then that's what I shouldmeasure.
No, it's not.
Are they are do are they evengoing for the same stuff?
They're trying to lose weight,you're trying to gain weight, or
they're trying to gain weight,you're trying to lose weight.
They're trying to expand theirbusiness, you're trying to just
(13:34):
survive with your business.
You're not measuring the sameshit, so don't measure what
they're measuring.
What are your KPIs as we say inbusiness and your key
performance indicators?
What are the main things that weneed to track to make sure that
you're going on the path to yourgoal?
Right?
(13:54):
For fitness, your bodycomposition.
If you're losing weight,awesome.
But you also might be losingmuscle.
So we want to make sure thatwe're tracking your muscle mass,
your body fat uh percentage, andyour body fat in pounds, your
water retention.
Those are the indicators thatwe're tracking, not just weight.
Whereas someone else might justbe losing weight.
(14:15):
Let's say going back to boxing,they need to lose 10 pounds to
get on the scale.
Two different game boards, twodifferent approaches at hitting
that weight loss as well.
I've trained pro fightersbefore, and weight losses suck.
Like getting, you know, cuttingweight for a fight, it sucks
(14:36):
mentally, painfully, you know,physically, you know,
emotionally.
But at the same time, those samethings happen with you know
traditional weight loss for justaverage health or you know, uh,
you know, for the average persongoing to the gym, but they're
two different versions of weightloss.
Right?
So you couldn't measure the samethings as you're going through
(14:57):
that process.
You have to, if you're trying tofigure out what to choose to
measure, you have to choose yourprimary goal first.
What is my primary goal?
Is my goal to win this elite11-week challenge?
Is my goal to win thefive-monthly challenge?
Is my goal to open a secondlocation business?
Is my goal to um stop fightingwith my wife?
Is my goal to, you know,whatever your goals are, and I'm
(15:18):
not fighting with my wife, bythe way.
That's you know, just putting itout there, just trying to name
other goals.
Um, so what is your primarygoal?
And make sure everything thatyou do serves that goal.
You have to realize that primaryuh not primary uh priorities
(15:42):
remove the drama.
What are your priorities?
Your priorities are the thingsand the tasks that you need to
do that align with your goal.
So I want you to say say thisout loud or say this in your
head and have this repeat inyour head every time you're
(16:05):
starting to compare.
Does this align with my goal?
Does this align with my goal?
Does comparing this align withmy goal?
Does doing this align with mygoal?
If it doesn't, then stop it.
If it doesn't align with yourgoal, knock it off.
(16:26):
Build your own scoreboard interms of the KPIs, the the key
performance indicators thatalign with your goal, right?
And have a little checklist.
Did I do all of these today?
Right?
If I did, check it off.
Cool.
Did I get all my checks fortoday?
Boom, that's a win.
You have to realize that you cancontrol your inputs, your
(16:51):
control kills your comparison.
So you have to have the mindsetof you versus you for real.
It's not a saying you could justsay, and then all of a sudden
you're going back to this youknow negative train of of
comparing.
Like it is truly you versus you.
(17:11):
Does this align with my goal?
Does comparing, does you knowthat action, does A, B, C, D,
all the way to Z do these thingsalign with my goal?
If not, then don't.
Just don't.
The U versus U saying, it's notonly a mindset, it's not only a
(17:33):
phrase, but it is a behavior.
It's not just a little slogan.
As much as we say it on here,and as much as I say it in my
gym, it is a behavior.
You do the things that are goingto compete with the things that
you did yesterday, the thingsthat you did last week, the
things you did last month, lastyear, whatever the case may be.
(17:56):
You're trying to get better.
Not better as in you're tryingto beat someone else, better as
in you're trying to be betterthan you were previously.
You're trying to become your2.0, your 3.0, your 4.0 version
of yourself.
So that in a year or you know,11 weeks or a month, you can
look back and be like, wow,that's not even the same person.
(18:20):
Or other people will be like,wow, I almost don't even
recognize you.
You know, whether it'sphysically, uh, from appearance
or from you know your mentality,because you've been you know
focused on like knowledge,whatever the case may be, it's
your identity check, is what theyou versus you behavior really
is.
(18:46):
Your just just you saying that,yeah, I know it's it's it's you
versus you is different thanyour actual actions.
Because I I've heard so manytimes, I know it's you know it's
me versus me, and then all of asudden they list a list of
comparisons to other people orother businesses.
(19:07):
So I know you're saying it, buteverything you just said after
the fact negated the fact thatyou said you know it's you
versus you.
So do you really know?
The other thing is controllingyour inputs also ties into
another big thing that honestlyit frustrates me a lot of times
(19:30):
in business when I talk to otherbusiness owners, as well as it
is in the gym, using yourresources.
I've told this story before onhere, um, but I've you know,
when people ask that how did myfitness journey uh start, like I
was that 13-year-old annoyingkid in the gym.
I didn't have a personaltrainer, you know, my parents
(19:53):
didn't know if I was serious ornot and working out, even though
I was a martial arts instructorand everything like that.
But at home, my dad had VHStapes of like pro bodybuilders,
and I literally watched thosevideos and I wrote notes down as
they, you know, the guys wereexplaining different exercises
and so forth.
And then I took my notepad and Iwent to the gym and I just did
(20:16):
it to the best of my ability.
Now, while I was at the gym, myresources were the big dudes,
the big girls at the gymlifting, right?
The bodybuilders at the gym.
I would watch what they weredoing, and then I would go ask
them politely, hey, what is thatwork?
What muscle are you working at?
(20:36):
And then, you know, majority ofthe time, they're nice enough to
tell you.
And so I would just do theirstuff they were doing.
I was using that resource I hadto me.
How many times do you haveavailable resources that you
could use, but you choose not touse?
(20:59):
For example, in this elite11-week challenge that we have
at Strive 11 that's going onright now, I added 22 free
classes to the challenge, right?
Normally they're 15 bucks each,right?
22 free classes added to thechallenge.
You would think that peoplewould want to come to these
(21:22):
extra classes, even some ofthem, to focus on the challenge
that they just paid for.
And because it's you know,strength conditioning, there's
stretching, there's you know,glutes, there's whatever, all
these different style challengesthere are classes.
And I probably have half thepeople that show up for the
classes.
It's a free resource to aid inwhat you're doing with the
(21:45):
Strive 11 program.
It's a bonus, and you're gettingtime that only the challenges
are allowed to come to some ofthese classes, that you have a
lot more limited, you know,people to trainer ratio, so you
get asked more questions.
It's more intimate with you knowthe trainer, you can you know
get more advice.
(22:06):
But yet, some people just don'tuse it.
Now, I say that to illustratethe point of your inputs are
your control, and your choicenot to do an input is also a
choice.
Your choice to do that input isa choice, and whether you use
(22:28):
your resources, they wouldcompound and you would have
faster results.
You choose not to use yourresources.
Well, guess what?
That compounds too.
You have two different roads youcan choose, but you get to
choose.
No one can force you to use yourresources.
(22:49):
Let's say you're going throughyou know marital issues or you
know, relationship issues.
I guarantee you could type in onGoogle free resources for
relationship counseling, freeresources for um business
advice.
You know, I'm part of amastermind, and you know, half
the business advice comes fromthe other business owners.
(23:11):
How many times does how manytimes do other business owners
reach out to someone that isdoing well and is and is further
along the chain of them thatjust want to ask for help?
It's very rare, right?
I mean, I just got off the phonethe other day with someone and
they were going through a seasonof business, and I told them I
(23:32):
could relate, you know, fromfrom past, and we had probably
like a 30, 40 minute talk, andit was at the end it was like,
man, it's it's just good to hearsomeone else that has gone
through it.
I was like, bro, we've all gonethrough it, and I guarantee I'll
go through it again.
Like that's what happens, thatyou're going through a phase of
growth.
(23:52):
Like you grew, and then all of asudden you hit a wall, is what
you're facing right now, and nowyou need to figure out what to
do to get over that wall.
That friction that you'refeeling right now is you got too
comfortable in thinking that thesystems, the processes, the you
know, the tools that you wereusing will always work forever.
(24:15):
And they don't.
The times change, people change,the business changes.
You have to adapt to continueforward.
And your pain you're feelingright now is you don't want to
adapt.
You're like, I've already put somuch time into building what it
is, I feel like I need to startback over and rebuild.
And it's not rebuilding, it'sjust adjusting, it's just adding
(24:37):
to.
Same thing for fitness.
All of a sudden you lose, let'ssay, 10-15 pounds, and then
you're like, I can't break the,you know, whatever, whatever
wall, I can't break that that,you know, get into my you know,
150s, or I can't get in, I can'tgo sub, you know, 200.
And side what worked for you toget to here is not working for
(24:58):
you to get further.
So you need to adjust the plan.
Use your resources first andforemost.
If you hire a trainer, you hirea coach for business, use them.
Focus on what they say, listento what they say, and then
actually execute the things thatthey say.
(25:21):
The most frustrating thing for acoach or a mentor or anything
like that is to give advice andgive you the give you the
playbook of how to solve yourproblem, and then watch you not
execute, and then come backagain and with the same problem,
the same frustration, and andand complain to them again.
So they give you a differentversion and you don't execute
(25:44):
again.
Those choices are compoundinginto your frustrating, your
frustration of you feeling likeit doesn't work for you.
It does work for you, but you'rejust not fucking doing it.
So you have to realize that youhave to execute.
It's not a lack of knowledge,it's a lack of action.
(26:10):
It's not a lack of knowledge,it's a lack of your action.
You are exactly where you are,and that is a compounded result
of the past days, past weeks,past months, of all the things
you chose to do, and all thethings you chose not to do.
(26:31):
So if you're unhappy with whereyou're at right now, or the
results you got this week, orthe results you got this month,
you are also the key to solveyour problem through your
actions.
Don't take action, and you aregonna be again.
I promise you're gonna beexactly where you're at right
(26:51):
now in another month, in anotherweek.
So your frustration, thesolution, is you.
Your frustration's cause is alsoyou.
That's a beautiful thing aboutfitness and business is at the
(27:16):
end of the day, you are thesolution to make it better.
You have the tools and theresources that you can make it
better.
Whether you choose to do that ornot, your call.
What are you gonna do?
(27:38):
Think about it.
Because where there's a will,there's a reason.
Where there's a will, there'stime in your calendar, I can
fucking promise you that.
If you really wanted that bad,and you'd say I don't have time,
honestly, that's bullshit.
(28:00):
Straight up.
If we looked at your calendar, Iguarantee we could find 30
minutes or an hour, you know,that if we move things around or
if we just made your day moreefficient, that you could get
things done.
First step, go on your phone,see how much you know time you,
you know, screen time you'vebeen on your phone.
(28:23):
How much time you've been onyour apps.
Your phone tells you all of it.
See how much screen time you'vebeen on today.
There's your fucking time thatyou can go do the things that
you need to do.
Instead of scrolling, go run.
Instead of scrolling, find theanswer to your your problem in
business.
Instead of scrolling, reach outto a mentor.
(28:46):
It's it's that simple.
You just have to make the rightthing easy to do.
And what I mean by that is mostpeople don't lack the initial
motivation, they trip on thefriction.
They don't lack the motivation,they trip on the friction.
(29:08):
So, for example, you want tomake the right thing easy about
you know going to the gym.
So you pack your bag at night,you set it by the door, put it
in your car, and that's yourroutine.
All of a sudden, something comesup, you're like, you know what,
I can't go, whatever the casemay be.
(29:28):
Or you don't pack your bag,right?
You're like, I'm I'm gonna go tothe gym tomorrow, not gonna pack
my bag, you know.
I'll just I'll I'll have enoughtime to come home and then I'll
go work out.
Well, you've already made theday a little bit harder because
now you have to come home.
There's already things to do athome, right?
So it's like make your dayeasier, pack the bag, put it in
your car, tell a buddy, hey,let's meet at the gym at X time.
(29:52):
And now you have anaccountability factor to it, and
then you book the class or youset the time you guys are gonna
show up.
Perfect example today.
My wife went to go to an earlymorning, um, I think it's
Pilates class with her sister,and her sister wanted to
schedule a certain time becausethere was a certain coach there.
(30:14):
Um, and my wife started to youknow say, well, I don't know
because you know, the you know,with the kids and and so forth.
And then she's like, you knowwhat?
We'll do it.
They booked the class right lastnight.
And now this morning, my wifewakes up and you know gets gets
our daughter ready, gets our sonready, and it's out the door
(30:35):
earlier than she normally is.
You make it easy to staydisciplined.
You just book, you just commit,you just set your accountability
factor.
Not only did she book the class,but she also has her sister
waiting for her.
What can you do so that you canmake your friction easy to stay
(31:00):
committed to?
Control your inputs, review whatyou've accomplished in the week.
Anytime that you start tocompare someone, realize does
this align with my goals, whatthey're doing, what I'm
(31:20):
comparing?
Am I doing things that that arealigning with my goals?
Review it daily, weekly.
And as much as I say that, Imean it.
Audit yourself, audit your time.
Your time is the one thing inthis world you don't get back.
So don't spend it on things thataren't aligned with the goals
(31:41):
that you have, whether it's forfamily, whether it's for
relationships, whether it's forbusiness, fitness, whatever the
case may be, audit your time,spend it wisely.
It is the most valuable thingthat money can't buy.
So don't waste it on shit thatyou don't need to be wasting it
on.
If it doesn't align with yourgoals, if it doesn't align with
(32:05):
what you want to do, you know,then why?
Then why do it at all?
It is literally a waste of yourtime, a waste of your life.
So audit what you're doing.
And then adjust the next dayaccordingly.
Plan tomorrow.
That's how you make yourfriction easy.
(32:26):
That's how you make it easy tostay committed.
Plan tomorrow.
Just like I tell members andclients and stuff to plan
tomorrow's meals.
Well, plan your day.
Plan your calendar on yourphone.
Every phone has a calendar.
What are you gonna do every hourof the day?
(32:46):
Yeah, you can adjust things asneeded when it's happening, but
set a game plan for the day.
I guarantee you'll have a muchmore productive day if you do
that.
I hope this episode aligned withmaybe something that you've been
going through, or if you've beencomparing yourself to others and
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starting to get frustratedbecause you know you feel like
other people are outdoing you,then hopefully you took some
stuff away from this, and youknow, it can help you recenter
on focusing on you, focusing onyour goals, focusing on the
things that you need to do, andrealizing that comparison is the
thief of all joy, but alsorealizing that setting fake
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comparison goals and and fakethings are it's creating fake
losses in your head, and now youhave negativity where it doesn't
need to be and wasn't even untilyou made it.
So if you know someone elsethat's going through this, or if
you know someone else that isliterally always complaining to
you about you know someone or orsomething and how they're
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outdoing them, send this episodeto them.
But like always, guys, if youneed anything, send a DM.
I appreciate you guys.
I love you all.
I'll see you guys on the nextone.