December 5, 2025 • 16 mins
A shattered bowl mended with gold can change how you see your own story. We take that Kintsugi image and map it onto real life: the breaks you want to hide, the scars you downplay, and the moments you thought would end you. Instead of chasing a spotless image, we walk through how to turn those cracks into visible lines of strength—proof that you’ve been tested and upgraded.
We dig into why scars are receipts, not defects, and how the people we admire earn our respect by showing the rebuild, not erasing it. Devin shares personal examples from launching Strive 11 and navigating a fitness dip that forced better time design. Together we unpack the cultural lie that “untouched” equals valuable, and replace it with a craftsperson’s lens: honor the break, highlight the seam, and build a vessel that holds more. You’ll get a simple four-step practice to apply today—name the break, extract the lesson, reinforce it with new behaviors, and stop hiding the seam—so resilience becomes a system, not a slogan.
By the end, you’ll have a challenge to make this mindset stick: write what happened, what it cost, and what gold you gained that you refuse to ignore. Share your seam with someone who needs strength right now. If this message reminded you that you’re forged, not fragile, follow the show, leave a review, and send this to a friend who thinks they’re disqualified. Your story isn’t over—the gold gets added next.
Thanks for listening & being part of the Mindset Cafe Community.
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https://www.devangonzalez.com/connect
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:21):
What's up, guys?
Welcome to another episode ofthe Mindset Cafe Podcast.
It's your boy Devin Gonzalez.
And today, I want to start offwith a visual, right?
Before we get into the topic,right?
Imagine you're holding a bowland you drop that bowl on the
floor and you're watching itshatter into a million pieces.
(00:44):
Instead of throwing it away, yourepair every crack with pure
gold.
That's Kinsugi.
Right?
And whether you know it or not,that's also your life story.
Because let's be honest, you'vebeen through some version of
hell, maybe no one sees it, butyou definitely feel it.
And this episode is really aboutproving to yourself that what
(01:09):
tried to break you is exactlywhat is qualifying you for
what's to come.
We're talking about your brokenpieces.
And the Japanese philosophy thatsays essentially you're not just
(01:36):
fixed, but you're enhanced bywhat you've survived or what
you've gone through, what firesyou've been forged by, right?
So the Japanese philosophy againis Kinsugi.
It's the art of repo repairingbroken pottery with gold, right?
They don't hide the breaks, theydon't pretend it never
shattered.
They fill the cracks with puregold and they make those broken
(01:59):
pieces even more valuable thanwhen it was perfect before the
cracks, before the breaks.
And that's when honestly, itreally like when I heard about
that philosophy, I realized andI kind of sat with it for a
minute and realized like that'sus, that's you, that's you,
that's me, right?
So I want to kind of start offwith the concept of like your
(02:25):
scars are your receipts, right?
I've got scars, you got scars.
Some may be obvious, like asurgery, an accident, maybe a
dumb decision when you're a kid.
Believe me, I have a handful ofthose.
Some are invisible, though,right?
A betrayal, a failure, a loss.
You know, that one conversationthat changed how maybe you see
(02:46):
yourself.
Most people treat scars likesomething that they have to
hide.
They try to cover it withmakeup, they bury it under maybe
a fake smile, they distract youfrom your work, your social
media, so you don't have to lookat it, right?
But your scars are not mistakesin the design.
They're proof that you've liveda life, they're proof that
(03:09):
you've swung, they're proof thatyou didn't quit when life hit
back.
They're proof that you're astronger version now than you
were, right?
You've heard probably the termbattle wounds or battle scars,
right?
That's what essentially thoseare, whether they're physical or
they're metaphorical, um, youknow, meaning like the emotional
(03:32):
scars from your past, you haveto realize that that's what
allowed you to become who youare today.
Without those scars, you wouldnot be the person you are today,
right?
You wouldn't have learned thoselessons, you wouldn't have
gotten those experiences, sodon't treat them as a weakness,
right?
(03:52):
So the Kinsuyi's shift, themindset shift is simple, but
also brutal at the same time,right?
Something breaks, you don'tthrow it away, you don't hide
the crack, you highlight it withgold, you lean into it, right?
That gold in your life, that'sthe lesson you've learned,
that's the wisdom, that's theresilience, that's the new
(04:14):
standard that you built frompain.
Right?
The world says, if it's broken,replace it.
Kinsuyi says, if it's broken,honor it and upgrade it, right?
Or in terms of like what we'retalking about with life is
essentially if it breaks,acknowledge it, heal it, and now
(04:34):
you're upgraded, right?
So here's where most people kindof get it twisted, in my
opinion, is we think beingvaluable means looking
untouched, you know, no baggage,no past, no mistakes, you know,
whether it's perfect skin, aperfect resume, a perfect
relationship, perfect mindset.
(04:55):
Honestly, that's all bullshit,right?
The people you respect the most,I want you to think about those
people right now, right?
The people that you look up tothe most, that you respect the
most, right?
Those aren't the ones who neverfell.
Those they're not perfect, andyou know that, they know that.
Those are the ones who fellhard, got up, and didn't edit
(05:16):
that part out of their lifestory.
That's why you can relate withthem, that's why you can look up
to them.
It's the strength of buildingthemselves back up.
If you've ever looked at someoneand thought, wow, they're
strong, what you're reallyseeing is them through that
(05:38):
build.
You've seen you're really seeingKinsugi, you're seeing someone
who's refused to let a break bethe end, right?
So your personal story um is isjust that, right?
Your personal story is not meantto be my personal story, the
next person's person uh personalstory, it's your own, right?
(06:00):
For example, with launching thebusiness, you know, for Strive
11, there was so many times thatit could have been the end, you
know, through differentpartnerships, through different,
you know, uh investments,whatever.
But each time I just figured outa new way to talk to the next
person, a new way to look for acertain, you know, kind of
(06:21):
person or certain kind ofinvestor, whatever the case may
be.
And those are all all thingsthat made me better in my terms
of just being a business owner.
Another one, let's say, um, on amore personal standpoint, not
business, but in fitness, right?
(06:42):
More recently, there, you know,I would say probably about a
year ago, um, I was a lot leanerthan I am right now, right?
And that was not by choice.
I mean, I guess it is by my ownchoices, but I was not actively
trying to be lean or thin.
(07:02):
And a lot of people would tellme, essentially, you know, wow,
like you're leaning out, youknow, you're you know, are you
are you trying to lose weight oryou know, and it always kind of
felt kind of like a compliment,but also kind of like a
backhanger compliment because Iknow naturally I'm a little bit
bigger and a little bit bulkier,and that's the way I like to be,
(07:24):
is you know, in in my fitnessjourney.
So that part of me was broken inthe terms of launching the
business and kind of letting myown personal fitness hit the
back burner, but realizing thatand fixing that leaned into
being a strength, right?
Then I just got to get better atmanaging my personal time,
(07:48):
managing those things, right?
Those little little cracks andstuff when when it was happening
allowed me to reanalyze and getbetter at what I was currently
doing, right?
Um at the time, you know, itcould feel like everything is
falling apart, right?
When you look back at the momentthat didn't ruin you, it kind of
(08:14):
reveals you, right?
When looking back today, ortoday, looking back on you know,
a year ago, two years ago, youknow, what was a struggle that
you thought was you know gonnabe the end, right?
And now look at you now, itwasn't, and now if that ever
happened again, you would knowhow to handle it, right?
The crack doesn't disappear, itjust turns into a gold line
(08:37):
running straight through yourstory, just like mine did for
me.
And if you don't to give you abetter understanding of what I
mean by the bulls and stuff likethat, like have you ever seen
the bowls or the cups or theplates that essentially almost
kind of have like a marble lookto it, right?
With like the gold or thesilver, you know, kind of all
(08:58):
running through like abstractlines, kind of like lightning
bolts.
Um, that's what Kinsugi is,right?
That that it's not marble, likethat was a broken piece of
pottery that they put backtogether.
So, how do you do you know thisthis mental Kinsugi, you know,
kind of practice?
Or how can you make it apractical application, right?
(09:20):
Because it's it's easy to say,but I want to kind of give you
some tools at least that you cantake away and make your what you
think is uh a weakness, right?
Use your scars to be a strengthand and make them realize that
that's you, right?
So let's get practical, right?
(09:40):
Because mindset withoutapplication honestly is just
motivational noise, right?
So step one, you have to namethe break, right?
Stop downplaying it, stop sayingit wasn't that bad when it was.
Call it what it was a loss, abetrayal, a failure, a collapse,
whatever the case may be.
Name it.
Step two, extract the gold,right?
(10:02):
Ask essentially the gold meaningthe lesson.
What did this teach me aboutmyself?
What did this teach me aboutpeople?
What did this teach me aboutwhat I will never tolerate
again?
That's your gold.
That's what makes you strongermoving forward.
And then step three is reinforceit, right?
Reinforce the fracture, turnthat lesson into a behavior,
(10:24):
right?
Whether it's a new boundary, anew habit, a new standard, a new
non-negotiable.
This is where you stop repeatingthe same cycle and start walking
differently and start livingdifferently.
And then lastly, step four isstop hiding it, right?
Stop hiding it.
You don't need to drama dump ortrauma dump on everyone you
(10:47):
meet, but you also don't need toact like your story is anything
to be ashamed of.
You've survived things, you'vegone through things, so have
other people.
That's how you become relatable,that's how you are viewed as
strong, right?
That's that's where strength is.
You survived those things,that's why you are who you are
(11:09):
today, right?
You survive certain things thatwould have folded other people.
That's not a weakness, that'sequity in who you are today,
right?
Because let's talk about thecosts of you hiding those
cracks, right?
When you don't do this, when youhide your scars, when you live
on defense, you live terrifiedof someone who'll see the real
(11:32):
you, the mess, the mistakes, thechapters that you hate of your
life.
You start performing instead ofliving, you settle instead of
building, you numb out insteadof healing.
And honestly, here's the worstpart about that, in my opinion,
is you block people from seeingthe very thing that makes you
(11:53):
powerful and relatable, right?
Your humanity, your story, yourcomeback, right?
That's that's what authenticityis.
And actually, what I want to dois is kind of reframe that, and
I want I want you to walk awaywith something, right?
I want you to realize thatyou're not broken, you're
(12:17):
forged, right?
You're not broken, you areforged.
Broken is is something that'sfragile, right?
If it breaks once, it's gonnabreak again.
Like forged means it's tested,it's tried, you know, broken,
you throw it away.
Forged is, you know, is trustedto last, right?
So you're not broken, you areforged to be who you are today.
(12:38):
That's why I I usually say,like, you know, you are forged
by the fire, right?
You're not broken by the fire,you are forged by the fire.
Life has already hit you.
You already have the evidencethat you can take the shot and
still be here listening to thisand still be doing the things
that you're doing.
That alone means you're notsoft, you're not weak, and
(12:59):
you're not done yet.
So here's the challenge I wantto give you for this episode is
I want you to actually do thisand not just think about it is
the main thing.
All right, pick one of yourscars, right?
Whether it's a physical one,emotional one, and write it
down.
What happened to you?
What did it cost you, and thenwhat did it or what gold did you
(13:22):
gain from it?
Right.
So when you write down again,what happened, what did it cost
you, and then what gold did Igain that I refuse to ignore
anymore?
That might be the standard,right?
That might be the decision, thatmight be the moment you decided
(13:43):
I will never be that version ofmyself again, right?
That's the biggest one I think alot of people need to realize is
that that right there is themoment you get to decide.
I will never be that version ofmyself again, right?
And that's your Tonsugi line,that is your gold, right?
(14:03):
So hopefully, you know, if thisif this hits home for you, don't
hoard it, right?
Don't hold it all to yourself.
Uh, if you know someone rightnow, or you think you know
someone right now that they'rethat is if you think you know
someone right now who thinksthat they're damaged beyond
repair, right?
(14:25):
Someone who thinks maybe theirstory disqualifies them, please
share this episode with them.
Text it to them, tell it tothem, post it on, you know, send
it in their DM, right?
And then just add the partyou're not done.
You're just in the part wherethe gold gets added, right?
So share this episode with themand just and send a little
(14:47):
message.
You're not done, you're just inthe part where the gold gets
added.
That honestly would mean so muchto someone that's going through
something right now, right?
Because you're not less becauseyou've been broken, you're
actually more.
You're not less valuable becauseyou've been broken, you are more
(15:09):
valuable.
So I hope this episode of themindset cafe resonated with you
a little bit and in and kind ofgot to shift your mindset a
little bit, and hopefully youcan send this to a friend that
is going through it, or youknow, thinks you know, is kind
of thinging down on themselves,right?
Or has been disqualifyingthemselves, you know, for a
(15:32):
while now.
So go live your life, show thosescars, those are your gold.
And I just want to say I likealways appreciate you guys.
I love y'all.
If you guys ever need anything,you know where to reach me.
What's up, guys?
Welcome to another episode ofthe Mindset Cafe Podcast.
It's your boy Devin Gonzalez.
And today, I want to start offwith a visual, right?
Before we get into the topic,right?
Imagine you're holding a bowland you drop that bowl on the
floor and you're watching itshatter into a million pieces.
(00:44):
Instead of throwing it away, yourepair every crack with pure
gold.
That's Kinsugi.
Right?
And whether you know it or not,that's also your life story.
Because let's be honest, you'vebeen through some version of
hell, maybe no one sees it, butyou definitely feel it.
And this episode is really aboutproving to yourself that what
(01:09):
tried to break you is exactlywhat is qualifying you for
what's to come.
We're talking about your brokenpieces.
And the Japanese philosophy thatsays essentially you're not just
(01:36):
fixed, but you're enhanced bywhat you've survived or what
you've gone through, what firesyou've been forged by, right?
So the Japanese philosophy againis Kinsugi.
It's the art of repo repairingbroken pottery with gold, right?
They don't hide the breaks, theydon't pretend it never
shattered.
They fill the cracks with puregold and they make those broken
(01:59):
pieces even more valuable thanwhen it was perfect before the
cracks, before the breaks.
And that's when honestly, itreally like when I heard about
that philosophy, I realized andI kind of sat with it for a
minute and realized like that'sus, that's you, that's you,
that's me, right?
So I want to kind of start offwith the concept of like your
(02:25):
scars are your receipts, right?
I've got scars, you got scars.
Some may be obvious, like asurgery, an accident, maybe a
dumb decision when you're a kid.
Believe me, I have a handful ofthose.
Some are invisible, though,right?
A betrayal, a failure, a loss.
You know, that one conversationthat changed how maybe you see
(02:46):
yourself.
Most people treat scars likesomething that they have to
hide.
They try to cover it withmakeup, they bury it under maybe
a fake smile, they distract youfrom your work, your social
media, so you don't have to lookat it, right?
But your scars are not mistakesin the design.
They're proof that you've liveda life, they're proof that
(03:09):
you've swung, they're proof thatyou didn't quit when life hit
back.
They're proof that you're astronger version now than you
were, right?
You've heard probably the termbattle wounds or battle scars,
right?
That's what essentially thoseare, whether they're physical or
they're metaphorical, um, youknow, meaning like the emotional
(03:32):
scars from your past, you haveto realize that that's what
allowed you to become who youare today.
Without those scars, you wouldnot be the person you are today,
right?
You wouldn't have learned thoselessons, you wouldn't have
gotten those experiences, sodon't treat them as a weakness,
right?
(03:52):
So the Kinsuyi's shift, themindset shift is simple, but
also brutal at the same time,right?
Something breaks, you don'tthrow it away, you don't hide
the crack, you highlight it withgold, you lean into it, right?
That gold in your life, that'sthe lesson you've learned,
that's the wisdom, that's theresilience, that's the new
(04:14):
standard that you built frompain.
Right?
The world says, if it's broken,replace it.
Kinsuyi says, if it's broken,honor it and upgrade it, right?
Or in terms of like what we'retalking about with life is
essentially if it breaks,acknowledge it, heal it, and now
(04:34):
you're upgraded, right?
So here's where most people kindof get it twisted, in my
opinion, is we think beingvaluable means looking
untouched, you know, no baggage,no past, no mistakes, you know,
whether it's perfect skin, aperfect resume, a perfect
relationship, perfect mindset.
(04:55):
Honestly, that's all bullshit,right?
The people you respect the most,I want you to think about those
people right now, right?
The people that you look up tothe most, that you respect the
most, right?
Those aren't the ones who neverfell.
Those they're not perfect, andyou know that, they know that.
Those are the ones who fellhard, got up, and didn't edit
(05:16):
that part out of their lifestory.
That's why you can relate withthem, that's why you can look up
to them.
It's the strength of buildingthemselves back up.
If you've ever looked at someoneand thought, wow, they're
strong, what you're reallyseeing is them through that
(05:38):
build.
You've seen you're really seeingKinsugi, you're seeing someone
who's refused to let a break bethe end, right?
So your personal story um is isjust that, right?
Your personal story is not meantto be my personal story, the
next person's person uh personalstory, it's your own, right?
(06:00):
For example, with launching thebusiness, you know, for Strive
11, there was so many times thatit could have been the end, you
know, through differentpartnerships, through different,
you know, uh investments,whatever.
But each time I just figured outa new way to talk to the next
person, a new way to look for acertain, you know, kind of
(06:21):
person or certain kind ofinvestor, whatever the case may
be.
And those are all all thingsthat made me better in my terms
of just being a business owner.
Another one, let's say, um, on amore personal standpoint, not
business, but in fitness, right?
(06:42):
More recently, there, you know,I would say probably about a
year ago, um, I was a lot leanerthan I am right now, right?
And that was not by choice.
I mean, I guess it is by my ownchoices, but I was not actively
trying to be lean or thin.
(07:02):
And a lot of people would tellme, essentially, you know, wow,
like you're leaning out, youknow, you're you know, are you
are you trying to lose weight oryou know, and it always kind of
felt kind of like a compliment,but also kind of like a
backhanger compliment because Iknow naturally I'm a little bit
bigger and a little bit bulkier,and that's the way I like to be,
(07:24):
is you know, in in my fitnessjourney.
So that part of me was broken inthe terms of launching the
business and kind of letting myown personal fitness hit the
back burner, but realizing thatand fixing that leaned into
being a strength, right?
Then I just got to get better atmanaging my personal time,
(07:48):
managing those things, right?
Those little little cracks andstuff when when it was happening
allowed me to reanalyze and getbetter at what I was currently
doing, right?
Um at the time, you know, itcould feel like everything is
falling apart, right?
When you look back at the momentthat didn't ruin you, it kind of
(08:14):
reveals you, right?
When looking back today, ortoday, looking back on you know,
a year ago, two years ago, youknow, what was a struggle that
you thought was you know gonnabe the end, right?
And now look at you now, itwasn't, and now if that ever
happened again, you would knowhow to handle it, right?
The crack doesn't disappear, itjust turns into a gold line
(08:37):
running straight through yourstory, just like mine did for
me.
And if you don't to give you abetter understanding of what I
mean by the bulls and stuff likethat, like have you ever seen
the bowls or the cups or theplates that essentially almost
kind of have like a marble lookto it, right?
With like the gold or thesilver, you know, kind of all
(08:58):
running through like abstractlines, kind of like lightning
bolts.
Um, that's what Kinsugi is,right?
That that it's not marble, likethat was a broken piece of
pottery that they put backtogether.
So, how do you do you know thisthis mental Kinsugi, you know,
kind of practice?
Or how can you make it apractical application, right?
(09:20):
Because it's it's easy to say,but I want to kind of give you
some tools at least that you cantake away and make your what you
think is uh a weakness, right?
Use your scars to be a strengthand and make them realize that
that's you, right?
So let's get practical, right?
(09:40):
Because mindset withoutapplication honestly is just
motivational noise, right?
So step one, you have to namethe break, right?
Stop downplaying it, stop sayingit wasn't that bad when it was.
Call it what it was a loss, abetrayal, a failure, a collapse,
whatever the case may be.
Name it.
Step two, extract the gold,right?
(10:02):
Ask essentially the gold meaningthe lesson.
What did this teach me aboutmyself?
What did this teach me aboutpeople?
What did this teach me aboutwhat I will never tolerate
again?
That's your gold.
That's what makes you strongermoving forward.
And then step three is reinforceit, right?
Reinforce the fracture, turnthat lesson into a behavior,
(10:24):
right?
Whether it's a new boundary, anew habit, a new standard, a new
non-negotiable.
This is where you stop repeatingthe same cycle and start walking
differently and start livingdifferently.
And then lastly, step four isstop hiding it, right?
Stop hiding it.
You don't need to drama dump ortrauma dump on everyone you
(10:47):
meet, but you also don't need toact like your story is anything
to be ashamed of.
You've survived things, you'vegone through things, so have
other people.
That's how you become relatable,that's how you are viewed as
strong, right?
That's that's where strength is.
You survived those things,that's why you are who you are
(11:09):
today, right?
You survive certain things thatwould have folded other people.
That's not a weakness, that'sequity in who you are today,
right?
Because let's talk about thecosts of you hiding those
cracks, right?
When you don't do this, when youhide your scars, when you live
on defense, you live terrifiedof someone who'll see the real
(11:32):
you, the mess, the mistakes, thechapters that you hate of your
life.
You start performing instead ofliving, you settle instead of
building, you numb out insteadof healing.
And honestly, here's the worstpart about that, in my opinion,
is you block people from seeingthe very thing that makes you
(11:53):
powerful and relatable, right?
Your humanity, your story, yourcomeback, right?
That's that's what authenticityis.
And actually, what I want to dois is kind of reframe that, and
I want I want you to walk awaywith something, right?
I want you to realize thatyou're not broken, you're
(12:17):
forged, right?
You're not broken, you areforged.
Broken is is something that'sfragile, right?
If it breaks once, it's gonnabreak again.
Like forged means it's tested,it's tried, you know, broken,
you throw it away.
Forged is, you know, is trustedto last, right?
So you're not broken, you areforged to be who you are today.
(12:38):
That's why I I usually say,like, you know, you are forged
by the fire, right?
You're not broken by the fire,you are forged by the fire.
Life has already hit you.
You already have the evidencethat you can take the shot and
still be here listening to thisand still be doing the things
that you're doing.
That alone means you're notsoft, you're not weak, and
(12:59):
you're not done yet.
So here's the challenge I wantto give you for this episode is
I want you to actually do thisand not just think about it is
the main thing.
All right, pick one of yourscars, right?
Whether it's a physical one,emotional one, and write it
down.
What happened to you?
What did it cost you, and thenwhat did it or what gold did you
(13:22):
gain from it?
Right.
So when you write down again,what happened, what did it cost
you, and then what gold did Igain that I refuse to ignore
anymore?
That might be the standard,right?
That might be the decision, thatmight be the moment you decided
(13:43):
I will never be that version ofmyself again, right?
That's the biggest one I think alot of people need to realize is
that that right there is themoment you get to decide.
I will never be that version ofmyself again, right?
And that's your Tonsugi line,that is your gold, right?
(14:03):
So hopefully, you know, if thisif this hits home for you, don't
hoard it, right?
Don't hold it all to yourself.
Uh, if you know someone rightnow, or you think you know
someone right now that they'rethat is if you think you know
someone right now who thinksthat they're damaged beyond
repair, right?
(14:25):
Someone who thinks maybe theirstory disqualifies them, please
share this episode with them.
Text it to them, tell it tothem, post it on, you know, send
it in their DM, right?
And then just add the partyou're not done.
You're just in the part wherethe gold gets added, right?
So share this episode with themand just and send a little
(14:47):
message.
You're not done, you're just inthe part where the gold gets
added.
That honestly would mean so muchto someone that's going through
something right now, right?
Because you're not less becauseyou've been broken, you're
actually more.
You're not less valuable becauseyou've been broken, you are more
(15:09):
valuable.
So I hope this episode of themindset cafe resonated with you
a little bit and in and kind ofgot to shift your mindset a
little bit, and hopefully youcan send this to a friend that
is going through it, or youknow, thinks you know, is kind
of thinging down on themselves,right?
Or has been disqualifyingthemselves, you know, for a
(15:32):
while now.
So go live your life, show thosescars, those are your gold.
And I just want to say I likealways appreciate you guys.
I love y'all.
If you guys ever need anything,you know where to reach me.
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