December 17, 2025 • 16 mins
Most people think they’ll rise to the occasion when it really matters. In reality, they fall to the standards they’ve built when no one is watching.
In this episode of The Mindset Café, we break down the brutal truth about self-discipline, private standards, and why the only work that truly matters is the work nobody sees. You’ll discover why your unseen habits are more powerful than your public image and how your “floor” — your lowest level of behavior — quietly controls your results in business, fitness, relationships, and life.
We unpack the difference between identity and image, how micro-decisions shape your future, and how to build an “invisible resume” of skills, habits, and standards that actually back up the person you say you are. If you’re tired of feeling like your potential doesn’t match your reality, this episode gives you the blueprint to raise your standards in the dark.
Thanks for listening & being part of the Mindset Cafe Community.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:22):
What is up, guys?
Welcome to another episode ofthe Mindset Cafe Podcast.
It's your boy, Dead Gonzalez.
And today I wanted to talk aboutsomething that you know I talk
to members about frequently.
Um, and that is essentiallyrealizing that you don't rise to
your standards.
(00:45):
Or actually, no, you don't riseto your public standards, you
fall to your private ones.
Meaning that you don't rise tothe occasion, you fall to your
training, right?
You're all of a sudden not goingto perform better than you ever
have because it's you know,you're rising to the occasion.
You're going to rise to whatyou've trained, what you what
(01:07):
work you put in, right?
So you're actually gonna fall tothose standards, you're not
gonna outperform, you're notgonna have you know the best day
in the gym or in a in acompetition or at work or
whatever the whatever the caseis if you haven't been doing the
work to do so, right?
Because the real one that showsup is the real version of you
(01:29):
that's what you've done when noone's watching, right?
You can't have this publicpersona of yourself and then a
private persona of yourself,meaning in terms of work effort,
motivation, and so forth, right?
Because that that essentially iswhat you're gonna end up falling
to is that private one when allof a sudden you're posting on
(01:52):
social media, checking at thegym, and and then all of a
sudden you're really at home,you know, eating bonbons on the
on the couch, right?
Life doesn't reward you forclaiming to be someone that
you're not, it rewards you forbeing consistent.
Life rewards you for the workthat you put in.
(02:14):
You don't get any freebies, it'sno buy two, get one free in
life.
Just because you came to the gymtwo days doesn't mean your
results are gonna add a thirdday of workouts of results to
your to your shit.
No, it doesn't work like that.
You worked out twice, you getthe effort and the results of
two workouts.
You work out for a month, you'llget the effort and results of a
(02:35):
month of workouts.
That's it's as simple as that,right?
Your real standard is not yourfloor.
Or your real standard, sorry, isnot your or is your floor not
your ceiling, right?
Your your standards that you doin private, meaning that how you
(02:55):
act, how you train, the workeffort, the um dedication,
consistency, that is your floor,right?
Most people obsessed over theirceiling and their potential and
their best day and their whenI'm locked in version of
themselves.
But your results come from theeveryday, right?
(03:20):
What you do on your worst day,how you act, what you think
about, you know, where youactually go.
Do you actually go to the gym?
Do you actually, you know, ifyou're an entrepreneur, if
you're a professional uh in anyindustry, are you actually
putting in the work that needsto be done on that day, even
though you feel like shit, eventhough you mentally are
exhausted?
(03:41):
Because that is, if you are,that is your floor.
Then when you zone in or youhave that locked-in version, it
only goes up from there, right?
So the goal isn't hype, the goalis raising your floor, right?
The your standard, your yourconsistency.
What is the average of all yourdays look like?
(04:04):
What is the work that no onesees?
That's what builds results,right?
Because you see someone elsethat you aspire to be, and you
think that continuing on thepath that you're on, if you're
not doing the work, that you'reall of a sudden magically gonna
achieve what they've achieved.
(04:24):
They're doing stuff that you'renot seeing and being consistent
when you're not.
But the good news is that that'show you separate yourself from
other people as well.
I heard this quote, andhonestly, it hit home for me
like being an entrepreneur andgoing through the grind of
growing a business is walkingthrough the fire and and the
(04:50):
growing pains and all thatstuff.
It's easier to be like, you knowwhat, I'm gonna do this
tomorrow.
I'm gonna I'm gonna focus onthis later.
I'm too stressed out, and andwhatever the case may be.
But when you look, when I when Iheard the quote, it's like I
feel sorry for the other peoplethat are trying to aspire to be
(05:12):
me because they have to walkthrough this fire.
Like I can get through this.
This is no, this isn't this isfine.
Like this is what builds me.
I just feel sorry for everyoneelse that has to come up through
this, and so you have to realizethat when you don't want to do
something, that's okay.
But that doesn't mean you don'tget to not do it.
(05:33):
You can want to not do somethingall you want, just like most of
the members don't want to be inhere working out, just like most
people in the gym don't want tobe working out, but you can want
to not work out as you work outall you want, as long as you're
fucking working out, right?
The work that really matters isthat invisible work to everyone
(05:54):
else, the work that no oneapplauds, the work that nobody
likes, that nobody sees untilthey see the results.
I've mentioned this before, youknow, when I launched Strive 11,
before I launched Strive 11, Ishould say, people would ask,
you know, with launching abusiness and all that kind of
(06:16):
stuff, they would, you know,what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna open a gym one day,would be my response, and you
get those pats on the head thatokay, okay, yeah, I hear
everyone say that.
And then all of a sudden theysee Strive 11 open, then they
see the franchise, and all of asudden, those same people are
asking for to be connected andto you know come on the podcast
(06:36):
and do all these other things,and it's like I'm all cool with
it.
Like, I love helping people andbringing people up, but realize
that you're gonna go throughthat same thing, right?
No one until people see theresults, why should they believe
you?
Why should they applaud you?
Like some clients get upset thatI don't tell them good job just
(06:59):
because they had one goodworkout, right?
It's like that that's whatyou're supposed to do.
They get upset because they hada good weigh-in, and I'm not
like, oh wow, that's amazing.
No, that's that's yourresponsibility, that's what
we're fucking training for.
And then when you go above andbeyond the the requirement, like
(07:24):
if you're supposed to lose apound and you lose a pound,
fucking good.
But if you lost all of a suddena pound of body fat and you're
down this, your muscle went up,all of a sudden it's like, dude,
fucking good job.
You went above and beyond,right?
But nobody applauds the workthat you're supposed to be
doing, and so you shouldn't bedoing the work for the applause.
You should be doing the workbecause you know you need to do
(07:46):
it to get the results that youneed to get and that you want,
right?
Visibility builds ego, but in avisibility builds skill, right?
Builds consistency, builds you,right?
Who are you versus who you sayyou are?
I'm gonna say that again.
(08:07):
Who you are versus who you sayyou are.
That's integrity, right?
Integrity is doing what you saidyou do when there's no audience,
when there's no thank you, whenthere's no um social media post
about you, when there's no thatyou do what you need to do
(08:28):
because you said you would doit.
You told yourself you're gonnago work out, go work out.
You said you're gonna finish theproject today, finish the
project today.
For an example, if you're anentrepreneur, right?
You said you want you want abigger business, but then you're
actually going out and you know,partying and all that.
It's like you're not doing theshit that you said you want you
(08:48):
you want.
It's like you said you want abigger business and you actually
kept your word to yourself, youstarted tracking your lead, you
started doing follow-ups, you'redoing that uncomfortable work.
So good job, right?
You you you're doing the thingsthat you need to do because
that's who you want to be,that's what you want your
business to be, right?
(09:11):
Self-respect comes from thoseprivate receipts, those receipts
that you get at the end of theday for achieving the things
that you needed to do to movethe needle a little bit, right?
What I've talked about, and Iknow a handful of people have
talked about it, is that whatthree tasks to five tasks do you
need to do today to move thatneedle forward of progress?
(09:33):
All the other stuff is justnoise.
There's a book called Eat theFrog, I've referenced before,
but focus on the biggest task,get that done first.
Don't put that as the last taskand be like, I'm gonna build
momentum to it.
Like get that out of the wayfirst, then everything else
after that is easy.
But set three to five tasks forthe day that is gonna move the
needle, not I'm gonna getgroceries today, I'm gonna do
(09:55):
this.
No, like what is going toactually get you moving forward
that's gonna be uncomfortable,right?
Those micro decisions, honestly,those are the hidden reps that
really build the character,right?
It's it's a big moment or a bigmoment, whether it's your
(10:19):
results or the when peoplenotice, that's just a collection
of all your tiny decisions thatyou make on a daily basis.
You don't become disciplined,you practice discipline in those
micro reps.
Micro rep, for example, iscatching yourself mid-excuse,
I'm tired, okay, but I'm stillgonna do do it.
(10:42):
I don't feel like it, but I'mstill gonna go do it, right?
A quick little thing could beeven like waking up instead of
hitting a snooze, just put yourfeet on the floor.
Instead of scrolling and youcatch yourself scrolling, stop,
open a book.
Instead of opening that bag ofchips, what should you actually
(11:04):
be eating to hit your macros?
Right?
It's avoid or confront.
Avoid or confront, right?
You don't rise to the occasion,you fall to your standards or
you fall to your training.
And a lot of the times the dailystuff, it's boring, it's it's
it's mundane, it's the shit thatyou know you don't want to do
(11:25):
anymore.
But the boredom is the test,right?
Not the motivation, right?
Motivation can come easy whenit's new, when it's fun, when
it's exciting to talk about withpeople.
But the character, yourcharacter gets built when you
show up, when it's repetitive,when it is boring, when it is
not fun anymore, when it's notsexy anymore.
unknown (11:48):
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (11:48):
Anyone can train hard in the gym for two weeks,
but the real ones who train whenprogress starts to slow down,
they start to hit a plateau whenthe the scale really isn't
moving, that's where you startto really build.
Right?
Anyone can feel excited inentrepreneurship about an
exciting idea or a new business,you know, venture.
(12:12):
But the real ones are the onesthat are still executing in the
phases that are maybe the dips,right?
And they're not just throwingtheir hands up, all this is too
hard, this is too too much forme.
Performance mode, which I'veheard before, is like you know,
when you're locked in and you'reyou're in the zone, right?
(12:34):
Like that's a trap, and it's atrap because it's a mental state
that you think that you need tobe in to execute, right?
A lot of people are onlydisciplined when the spy the
spotlight is on them, right?
Or when they're locked in, quoteunquote, right?
And that's not the case.
You're locked in when you justfocus when you're focused, shit
(13:00):
gets done, but you're the onlyone that has control over your
attention span.
So focus on what you need to doand just get it done.
Raise your standards withnon-negotiables.
If you want to change your life,set your floor of standards
(13:21):
higher.
You refuse to go under thesestandards, you refuse to do less
than this.
This is my minimum standard.
I move every day, I hit you knowX amount of protein a day, I do
X, you know, um money check-ins,you know, and with my with my
savings, right?
Whatever it is.
I do the this uncomfortable taskfirst, whatever the case may be,
(13:44):
right?
Standards beat your mood, beatyour mindset, beat all that.
Your standards are just whatneeds to get done, no ifs, ands,
or buts about it.
Sometimes, though, you do needto change your environment,
right?
And that can help, but at theend of the day, it all starts
with your mind, right?
People will blame your what theyou know self-will power, and
(14:05):
most of the time it's just yourenvironment.
If junk food is within arm'sreach, your discipline is gonna
be a lot harder to hit, right?
But if your junk food's notthere at all, easier.
Make your environment suitablefor your bulls.
(14:26):
If your phone is charging nextto your bed and you can't sleep,
you're probably gonna startscrolling.
Maybe put a book next to yourphone, fall asleep reading.
Right?
Your environment is eitherrecruiting you or it's
sabotaging you.
Again, I'll say that again.
(14:47):
Your environment is eitherrecruiting you, meaning the
future version of you that youwant to be, or it is sabotaging
that future version that youwant to be.
Every micro micro decision thatyou make in the day is building
your invisible resume, right?
That's the resume you showpeople when you just walk in the
(15:08):
room when people hear about you.
Not the physical resume you canfor a job, but the invisible
resume is built in private fromyour habits, from your skills
that you start to learn, fromyour follow-through with
yourself, from your workouts,from your work uh effort, right?
Great ethic.
That's what I've been trying tosay.
Uh, and when they see you,they're like, That's that's
(15:32):
someone I aspire to be.
So, my challenge to you is notfalling to your standards, but I
want you to raise yourstandards.
My challenge for you is to thinkabout what are your daily
standards and do those alignwith your goal.
If they don't, set some, setsome new standards that align
(15:57):
with your goal, and they arenon-negotiable.
But if there's anything I cando, please reach out to me.
I appreciate you guys all forfollowing the mindset cafe.
I'm always here to help any wayI can.
I love you guys, I appreciateyou guys, and I'll see you guys
on the next one.
What is up, guys?
Welcome to another episode ofthe Mindset Cafe Podcast.
It's your boy, Dead Gonzalez.
And today I wanted to talk aboutsomething that you know I talk
to members about frequently.
Um, and that is essentiallyrealizing that you don't rise to
your standards.
(00:45):
Or actually, no, you don't riseto your public standards, you
fall to your private ones.
Meaning that you don't rise tothe occasion, you fall to your
training, right?
You're all of a sudden not goingto perform better than you ever
have because it's you know,you're rising to the occasion.
You're going to rise to whatyou've trained, what you what
(01:07):
work you put in, right?
So you're actually gonna fall tothose standards, you're not
gonna outperform, you're notgonna have you know the best day
in the gym or in a in acompetition or at work or
whatever the whatever the caseis if you haven't been doing the
work to do so, right?
Because the real one that showsup is the real version of you
(01:29):
that's what you've done when noone's watching, right?
You can't have this publicpersona of yourself and then a
private persona of yourself,meaning in terms of work effort,
motivation, and so forth, right?
Because that that essentially iswhat you're gonna end up falling
to is that private one when allof a sudden you're posting on
(01:52):
social media, checking at thegym, and and then all of a
sudden you're really at home,you know, eating bonbons on the
on the couch, right?
Life doesn't reward you forclaiming to be someone that
you're not, it rewards you forbeing consistent.
Life rewards you for the workthat you put in.
(02:14):
You don't get any freebies, it'sno buy two, get one free in
life.
Just because you came to the gymtwo days doesn't mean your
results are gonna add a thirdday of workouts of results to
your to your shit.
No, it doesn't work like that.
You worked out twice, you getthe effort and the results of
two workouts.
You work out for a month, you'llget the effort and results of a
(02:35):
month of workouts.
That's it's as simple as that,right?
Your real standard is not yourfloor.
Or your real standard, sorry, isnot your or is your floor not
your ceiling, right?
Your your standards that you doin private, meaning that how you
(02:55):
act, how you train, the workeffort, the um dedication,
consistency, that is your floor,right?
Most people obsessed over theirceiling and their potential and
their best day and their whenI'm locked in version of
themselves.
But your results come from theeveryday, right?
(03:20):
What you do on your worst day,how you act, what you think
about, you know, where youactually go.
Do you actually go to the gym?
Do you actually, you know, ifyou're an entrepreneur, if
you're a professional uh in anyindustry, are you actually
putting in the work that needsto be done on that day, even
though you feel like shit, eventhough you mentally are
exhausted?
(03:41):
Because that is, if you are,that is your floor.
Then when you zone in or youhave that locked-in version, it
only goes up from there, right?
So the goal isn't hype, the goalis raising your floor, right?
The your standard, your yourconsistency.
What is the average of all yourdays look like?
(04:04):
What is the work that no onesees?
That's what builds results,right?
Because you see someone elsethat you aspire to be, and you
think that continuing on thepath that you're on, if you're
not doing the work, that you'reall of a sudden magically gonna
achieve what they've achieved.
(04:24):
They're doing stuff that you'renot seeing and being consistent
when you're not.
But the good news is that that'show you separate yourself from
other people as well.
I heard this quote, andhonestly, it hit home for me
like being an entrepreneur andgoing through the grind of
growing a business is walkingthrough the fire and and the
(04:50):
growing pains and all thatstuff.
It's easier to be like, you knowwhat, I'm gonna do this
tomorrow.
I'm gonna I'm gonna focus onthis later.
I'm too stressed out, and andwhatever the case may be.
But when you look, when I when Iheard the quote, it's like I
feel sorry for the other peoplethat are trying to aspire to be
(05:12):
me because they have to walkthrough this fire.
Like I can get through this.
This is no, this isn't this isfine.
Like this is what builds me.
I just feel sorry for everyoneelse that has to come up through
this, and so you have to realizethat when you don't want to do
something, that's okay.
But that doesn't mean you don'tget to not do it.
(05:33):
You can want to not do somethingall you want, just like most of
the members don't want to be inhere working out, just like most
people in the gym don't want tobe working out, but you can want
to not work out as you work outall you want, as long as you're
fucking working out, right?
The work that really matters isthat invisible work to everyone
(05:54):
else, the work that no oneapplauds, the work that nobody
likes, that nobody sees untilthey see the results.
I've mentioned this before, youknow, when I launched Strive 11,
before I launched Strive 11, Ishould say, people would ask,
you know, with launching abusiness and all that kind of
(06:16):
stuff, they would, you know,what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna open a gym one day,would be my response, and you
get those pats on the head thatokay, okay, yeah, I hear
everyone say that.
And then all of a sudden theysee Strive 11 open, then they
see the franchise, and all of asudden, those same people are
asking for to be connected andto you know come on the podcast
(06:36):
and do all these other things,and it's like I'm all cool with
it.
Like, I love helping people andbringing people up, but realize
that you're gonna go throughthat same thing, right?
No one until people see theresults, why should they believe
you?
Why should they applaud you?
Like some clients get upset thatI don't tell them good job just
(06:59):
because they had one goodworkout, right?
It's like that that's whatyou're supposed to do.
They get upset because they hada good weigh-in, and I'm not
like, oh wow, that's amazing.
No, that's that's yourresponsibility, that's what
we're fucking training for.
And then when you go above andbeyond the the requirement, like
(07:24):
if you're supposed to lose apound and you lose a pound,
fucking good.
But if you lost all of a suddena pound of body fat and you're
down this, your muscle went up,all of a sudden it's like, dude,
fucking good job.
You went above and beyond,right?
But nobody applauds the workthat you're supposed to be
doing, and so you shouldn't bedoing the work for the applause.
You should be doing the workbecause you know you need to do
(07:46):
it to get the results that youneed to get and that you want,
right?
Visibility builds ego, but in avisibility builds skill, right?
Builds consistency, builds you,right?
Who are you versus who you sayyou are?
I'm gonna say that again.
(08:07):
Who you are versus who you sayyou are.
That's integrity, right?
Integrity is doing what you saidyou do when there's no audience,
when there's no thank you, whenthere's no um social media post
about you, when there's no thatyou do what you need to do
(08:28):
because you said you would doit.
You told yourself you're gonnago work out, go work out.
You said you're gonna finish theproject today, finish the
project today.
For an example, if you're anentrepreneur, right?
You said you want you want abigger business, but then you're
actually going out and you know,partying and all that.
It's like you're not doing theshit that you said you want you
(08:48):
you want.
It's like you said you want abigger business and you actually
kept your word to yourself, youstarted tracking your lead, you
started doing follow-ups, you'redoing that uncomfortable work.
So good job, right?
You you you're doing the thingsthat you need to do because
that's who you want to be,that's what you want your
business to be, right?
(09:11):
Self-respect comes from thoseprivate receipts, those receipts
that you get at the end of theday for achieving the things
that you needed to do to movethe needle a little bit, right?
What I've talked about, and Iknow a handful of people have
talked about it, is that whatthree tasks to five tasks do you
need to do today to move thatneedle forward of progress?
(09:33):
All the other stuff is justnoise.
There's a book called Eat theFrog, I've referenced before,
but focus on the biggest task,get that done first.
Don't put that as the last taskand be like, I'm gonna build
momentum to it.
Like get that out of the wayfirst, then everything else
after that is easy.
But set three to five tasks forthe day that is gonna move the
needle, not I'm gonna getgroceries today, I'm gonna do
(09:55):
this.
No, like what is going toactually get you moving forward
that's gonna be uncomfortable,right?
Those micro decisions, honestly,those are the hidden reps that
really build the character,right?
It's it's a big moment or a bigmoment, whether it's your
(10:19):
results or the when peoplenotice, that's just a collection
of all your tiny decisions thatyou make on a daily basis.
You don't become disciplined,you practice discipline in those
micro reps.
Micro rep, for example, iscatching yourself mid-excuse,
I'm tired, okay, but I'm stillgonna do do it.
(10:42):
I don't feel like it, but I'mstill gonna go do it, right?
A quick little thing could beeven like waking up instead of
hitting a snooze, just put yourfeet on the floor.
Instead of scrolling and youcatch yourself scrolling, stop,
open a book.
Instead of opening that bag ofchips, what should you actually
(11:04):
be eating to hit your macros?
Right?
It's avoid or confront.
Avoid or confront, right?
You don't rise to the occasion,you fall to your standards or
you fall to your training.
And a lot of the times the dailystuff, it's boring, it's it's
it's mundane, it's the shit thatyou know you don't want to do
(11:25):
anymore.
But the boredom is the test,right?
Not the motivation, right?
Motivation can come easy whenit's new, when it's fun, when
it's exciting to talk about withpeople.
But the character, yourcharacter gets built when you
show up, when it's repetitive,when it is boring, when it is
not fun anymore, when it's notsexy anymore.
unknown (11:48):
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (11:48):
Anyone can train hard in the gym for two weeks,
but the real ones who train whenprogress starts to slow down,
they start to hit a plateau whenthe the scale really isn't
moving, that's where you startto really build.
Right?
Anyone can feel excited inentrepreneurship about an
exciting idea or a new business,you know, venture.
(12:12):
But the real ones are the onesthat are still executing in the
phases that are maybe the dips,right?
And they're not just throwingtheir hands up, all this is too
hard, this is too too much forme.
Performance mode, which I'veheard before, is like you know,
when you're locked in and you'reyou're in the zone, right?
(12:34):
Like that's a trap, and it's atrap because it's a mental state
that you think that you need tobe in to execute, right?
A lot of people are onlydisciplined when the spy the
spotlight is on them, right?
Or when they're locked in, quoteunquote, right?
And that's not the case.
You're locked in when you justfocus when you're focused, shit
(13:00):
gets done, but you're the onlyone that has control over your
attention span.
So focus on what you need to doand just get it done.
Raise your standards withnon-negotiables.
If you want to change your life,set your floor of standards
(13:21):
higher.
You refuse to go under thesestandards, you refuse to do less
than this.
This is my minimum standard.
I move every day, I hit you knowX amount of protein a day, I do
X, you know, um money check-ins,you know, and with my with my
savings, right?
Whatever it is.
I do the this uncomfortable taskfirst, whatever the case may be,
(13:44):
right?
Standards beat your mood, beatyour mindset, beat all that.
Your standards are just whatneeds to get done, no ifs, ands,
or buts about it.
Sometimes, though, you do needto change your environment,
right?
And that can help, but at theend of the day, it all starts
with your mind, right?
People will blame your what theyou know self-will power, and
(14:05):
most of the time it's just yourenvironment.
If junk food is within arm'sreach, your discipline is gonna
be a lot harder to hit, right?
But if your junk food's notthere at all, easier.
Make your environment suitablefor your bulls.
(14:26):
If your phone is charging nextto your bed and you can't sleep,
you're probably gonna startscrolling.
Maybe put a book next to yourphone, fall asleep reading.
Right?
Your environment is eitherrecruiting you or it's
sabotaging you.
Again, I'll say that again.
(14:47):
Your environment is eitherrecruiting you, meaning the
future version of you that youwant to be, or it is sabotaging
that future version that youwant to be.
Every micro micro decision thatyou make in the day is building
your invisible resume, right?
That's the resume you showpeople when you just walk in the
(15:08):
room when people hear about you.
Not the physical resume you canfor a job, but the invisible
resume is built in private fromyour habits, from your skills
that you start to learn, fromyour follow-through with
yourself, from your workouts,from your work uh effort, right?
Great ethic.
That's what I've been trying tosay.
Uh, and when they see you,they're like, That's that's
(15:32):
someone I aspire to be.
So, my challenge to you is notfalling to your standards, but I
want you to raise yourstandards.
My challenge for you is to thinkabout what are your daily
standards and do those alignwith your goal.
If they don't, set some, setsome new standards that align
(15:57):
with your goal, and they arenon-negotiable.
But if there's anything I cando, please reach out to me.
I appreciate you guys all forfollowing the mindset cafe.
I'm always here to help any wayI can.
I love you guys, I appreciateyou guys, and I'll see you guys
on the next one.
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