Client First: Coaching That Centers the Client’s Reality

Send us a text

Ever notice how a well-meant “Have you tried this?” can quietly take over a coaching session? We dig into the subtle ways coaches insert their own story—book lists, tool stacks, personal routines—and how that shift pulls focus away from the client’s reality. By unpacking the difference between coaching and mentoring, we show how to protect agency, keep the space clean, and help clients discover answers they actually believe in.

We walk through practical language that keeps curiosity in the driver’s seat: reflections that mirror the client’s words, questions that reveal what’s really going on, and clean transitions for when you do want to offer ideas. You’ll hear a live-style example where the presenting question wasn’t the real problem, and how a few targeted prompts uncovered the true obstacle—something generic advice would have missed. The result isn’t just insight; it’s a plan the client owns, which means stronger buy-in and real follow-through.

For coaches building their craft, this conversation doubles as a playbook: avoid subtle self-insertion, set explicit mentoring boundaries (“this may or may not fit”), and practice staying neutral long enough for clarity to emerge. We share why certification drills this skill relentlessly and how mastering it boosts confidence and client results. If you’re ready to talk less, listen better, and create sessions where clients feel fully seen and empowered, this one will tighten your process and sharpen your presence.

Subscribe for more client-centered coaching tools, share this with a coach who over-advises, and leave a quick review to tell us which question you’ll try next.

Eastern for an honest, behind-the-scenes look at the lessons we’ve learned by watching real coaches grow? Visit us at:

https://www.modernleadership.us/mastery

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
When coaches are just starting, we see them bring
their own stories andperspectives into a session.
What happens when they do that?

SPEAKER_01 (00:07):
It shifts the focus away from the client to the
coach's reality.
And that can unintentionallydirect the client away from
discovering their own truth.
Coaching is not a way of youdescribing what you would do or
should do in a situation.
You really want the focus to beyour client's perspective and be
neutral when you have aconversation around it.
It's about remaining curious andasking questions to find out

(00:30):
what is really going on withyour client.
The most powerful sessions iswhen you can keep your
perspectives out of it, butthrough asking questions, you
can get them to see thingsdifferently, almost as if they
never thought that that was evenpossible.
That's why today's quote is yourclient's reality is the one that
matters most in the session.

SPEAKER_00 (00:47):
What are some subtle ways that coaches accidentally
insert their story?

SPEAKER_01 (00:52):
They'll say things like, Have you ever tried this?
What journal are you using?
What book are you reading?
What podcast are you listeningto?
And what they're accidentallydoing is they're giving those
other things too much power asopposed to helping their clients
find their own answers.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06):
How can a coach actually catch themselves when
this happens?

SPEAKER_01 (01:09):
Really, we always have to make sure that we make
it about the client.
But in situations where you dowant to mentor, you just want to
tell them this may or may notwork for you, but based off of
what has happened for me or whatI've helped my clients with,
here's some different ideas.
Does any of these resonate withyou?

SPEAKER_00 (01:25):
So, what changes when the client stays in the
center of the session?

SPEAKER_01 (01:30):
They not only feel fully empowered when they're
leaving the session, but theyactually have a plan that they
can implement and take actionon, especially when they have
their own buy-in into it.
Now I want to give you anexample because this actually
happens all the time.
And that is a client willactually ask a question during
one of our coaching sessions,and immediately I can see that
people have answers they want togive them.

(01:50):
But when I jump in and I givethem an example of coaching, we
actually find out that there wasa different problem they were
struggling with that didn't haveanything to do with the first
thing that they talked about.
And that wouldn't have beenpossible if we just started to
jump in and give people ideas oropinions or actions to take.
This is why we spend so muchtime practicing in the
certification to make sure thatcoaches get this right.
Because once you do, not onlydoes your confidence go up, but

(02:13):
your client starts getting evenbetter results.
Now, if you missed episodenumber three, definitely go back
and listen.
We talked about why it's allabout staying curious.
And when you take yourself outof your client's story like we
talked about today, you actuallycreate some space for our next
lesson, which is how you canhelp your clients even more.
And this time, it doesn'tinclude coaching, asking

(02:34):
questions, or even talking.
We'll cover that in episodenumber five.