Real Coaching Isn’t About You—It’s About This | Truth #5

Send us a text

Are you a coach striving to make a real impact? In "What Real Coaching Is All About | Truth 5," we explore one of the most powerful truths every coach needs to know: coaching is never about you—it's all about your client. If you've felt the pressure to perform or prove yourself, this video breaks down why shifting from self-focus to client-focus is the game-changer you need.

We'll uncover why presence, not performance, is the core of effective coaching, and share actionable strategies like "clean thinking" to elevate your sessions. Learn how to stay fully present for your clients, avoid the common trap of guiding instead of coaching, and discover how this approach can transform not only your coaching practice but your clients' results as well. 

One of our students said it best: this approach takes the pressure off and allows you to hold space and ask the right questions. Are you ready to step into your full potential as a coach? Share your thoughts in the comments, and don't forget to subscribe for more insights. Stay tuned for Truth 6, where we’ll tackle the missing ingredient that holds even skilled coaches back!

#communicationskills #coachingtoolbox #coachingbusiness #leadership #goalsetting

#activelistening #coachingtoolbox #communicationskills #lifecoaching #coachingbusiness

CHAPTERS:
00:00 - Coaching Selfishness: Why It's a Problem
00:54 - Identifying Self-Centered Coaching Behaviors
01:30 - Transitioning to Client-Centric Coaching
02:40 - Benefits of Letting Go of Approval Seeking
03:27 - Recap of Truth Number 4 Discussion
03:45 - Preview of Truth Number 6 Discussion

Interested in learning more about our Coaching Certification program?
Visit us at: https://www.modernleadership.us/certification

Eastern for an honest, behind-the-scenes look at the lessons we’ve learned by watching real coaches grow? Visit us at:

https://www.modernleadership.us/mastery

Episode Transcript

Speaker 0 (00:00):
A lot of coaches, especially new ones, feel
pressure to look good or provethat they're doing it right.
So what do you think is theproblem with that?
So the moment the sessionstarts to become about you, it's
no longer about your client,and that's really where coaching
starts to break down.
Here's the thing Coaching isn'tabout a performance, it's about
presence.
It's about being therephysically, mentally and

(00:21):
emotionally for your client andbeing able to hear things that
most people wouldn't be able tohear.
And when you're self-focused,you're really thinking about all
the thoughts that you haveabout this situation.
You can't be fully presentthere for your client.
So when coaching becomes aboutyou, your validation, how well
you're doing, or even your owncomfort level, you're actually
not coaching in that moment.
And that's why today's truth isis that real coaching isn't

(00:43):
about you, it's about the client.
So I want to share a quote withyou real quick that will really
hit this home.
It says the client doesn't needyour performance, they need
your presence.
So what are some signs that acoach is making it about
themselves?
The first sign is that you'regetting into your own head.
You're trying to say things acertain way, you're trying to
sound polished, you're thinkingabout where to guide the client.

(01:04):
You're thinking about differentideas to give them, and I find
a lot of times that coaches arethinking about what's the next
question that I can ask myclient while their client is
still talking.
This can also look like youthinking you know the best path
to take them down and trying toask them questions to guide them
down.
That way, that's just simplynot coaching.
It's consulting or mentoring,and that's okay in certain

(01:26):
respects, but when we're talkingabout coaching, it's not about
guiding or pushing people in adirection.
Can you tell me how someone canshift from self-focus to client
focus?
Absolutely.
I'm going to share twodifferent ways.
The first one is you being yourbest client, meaning that
you're using coaching onyourself, especially before a
session, so that you come in andyou don't bring any of your
preconceived notions, thoughts,feelings, anything with you into

(01:49):
the session.
You make it all about yourclient.
Number two is a process that weteach in our certification.
It's called clean thinking, andwhen it comes to clean thinking
, it's not something that we donormally as humans.
Sometimes we wanna jump in whatwe call jumping in the pool and
sharing ideas and strategiesand things that we've learned
along the way, and a lot oftimes it takes practice to not
do that, because what we do iswe inadvertently tell them that

(02:10):
we think we know the answers,when in reality, as a coach, I
need to pull the answers outsideof them.
And when you get really good atpulling out those answers,
sometimes it is a mixture ofwhat you thought, but also it
elevated because the client isinvolved in it too.
Now, this process takes time,but it also takes feedback.
This is one of the things wetalk a lot about in the
certification is when somebodyjumps in the pool, we have to

(02:30):
call it out because it's anatural thing to do, but also,
if we really want to be apowerful coach, we have to stay
out of the pool.
We have to practice cleanthinking.
So one of the biggest momentsthat we see inside of the
certification is the moment whena coach stops trying to impress
people and starts showing up,being fully present.
I want to share something thatone of our students shared with

(02:51):
us recently that really hitsthis home.
She said this week reminded mehow powerful this model really
is, especially when our own lifethrows us our own curveballs.
Watching the guided session wassuch a great reminder that
coaching isn't about having theright answers.
It's about holding space clean,thinking and asking the right
questions.
Just knowing that and watchingit has taken so much pressure

(03:13):
off.
And she's right.
When you don't have to be theone that has all the answers and
instead you can use yourpowerful skill of coaching to
bring out some amazing things inothers, the game just changes
Not only for you to bring outsome amazing things in others.
The game just changes Not onlyfor you, but for your clients
too.
Now, if you missed truth numberfour, we talked about how
perfectionism can kill presence.
But even when you drop theperfectionism, it's very easy to

(03:34):
slip into performance mode,which is what we were talking
about today.
But in truth number six, we'regoing a little bit deeper and
that's why a lot of coachesstill aren't confident, even
when they're doing the rightthings, and it's just because
they're missing this keyingredient.
And we'll see you soon in truthnumber six.