Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What is going on, my
people, and welcome back to
another episode of ModernLeadership Coaching.
Yes, we are relaunching thepodcast and today we have an
extremely powerful episode foryou.
So I'm curious what would itfeel like being in a room of
nine super successful, powerfulcoaches while they shared the
keys to their success, some ofthe secrets that allowed them to
(00:22):
actually rise to the level thatthey're at right now, so that
you wouldn't have to waste anyyears off of your life, but also
time and energy, trying tobecome that level of coach?
So, if that's the case, todayis your episode, so let's get
right into it Now.
The first person we have hereis Chris Downing.
You may know him.
(00:42):
He's a celebrity super trainer.
He's also a motivationalspeaker and a powerful coach
that not only will have you workon the outside, but have you
working on the inside.
Let's dive into his tips.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Chris Downing,
motivational coach, motivational
speaker and celebrity fitnesstrainer, I got to ask the good
question what's one thing youwish you knew when you started
coaching?
That would have saved you yearsof frustration.
Oh, that's a good question.
I would have to say I wish Iwould have known my value much
(01:14):
earlier.
Uh, I think it was one of thosesituations where, when I first
started with body, I just wantedto fit in.
I don't want to step onanybody's toes, I don't want to
come and stand out, I justwanted to fit in and be an
assistance to everybody andcompliment what everybody else
was doing, not realizing that Iwas different and it was okay to
be different.
And so oftentimes you know,when you're in that space and
(01:34):
you become frustrated when youhave a talent and a gift on the
inside of you that craves andhas the passion to love, empower
, inspire and bring out the bestin other people and you hold it
back.
And so once I realized that youknow what?
No, I'm here for a reason andthere's hundreds of thousands of
people who I can meet rightwhere they're at in their
fitness level and use motivationand inspiration and love and
empowerment to bring out thebest in them.
(01:56):
So once I realized that and Igave myself permission to be me,
that's when the frustrationstopped.
And another good question hereis what would I have done to
fast track my results?
I don't know if I would havefast tracked my results.
I actually really love thejourney of everything that I've
been doing.
I've been very grateful andappreciative to meet some of the
most incredible people,including Mark, and I just love
(02:17):
people.
I love bringing out the best inpeople.
I love creating programs forall fitness levels because I
believe that everybody should beempowered.
Programs for all fitness levelsbecause I believe that
everybody should be empowered,everybody should be inspired,
everybody should be encouragedto become the greatest version
themselves.
So that's all I got for you,and I do want to say thank you
so much to each and every personwho's ever done a program of
mine, because without you, Iwouldn't be the trainer I am
(02:37):
today.
See you soon.
What do you?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
think about that.
You want to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah, that's awesome.
I think that you don't reallythink about well, I just got to
be myself, but it's like easierto send them down Sometimes when
you're first starting out orwhen you're trying to get into
something that maybe you're notfamiliar with.
So you're trying to be somebodyelse because you want to fit in
Like we all want to fit in, andI mean, it's simple, but it's
still a really great advice 100%.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
So some of the things
that I wrote down was being
yourself.
Give yourself permission tojust be you, right.
Because, like, everything thatyou have been able to do in the
past has gotten you to where youare by being you, and if you
get put into this new situationand you're somebody else
entirely different, it reallytakes away that special part,
because that special part is you, yeah.
So I love that, all right.
Coach number two is Cynthia VanWarmer.
(03:23):
Now, if you know Cynthia, she'sa master at helping people
through the process of actuallycalling, processing pain, being
able to really pull out and askthose deep questions to help
people realize things that theydidn't even know existed.
So let's get into her tips now.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Hi, I'm Cynthia Van
Warmer, certified life and
performance coach, mentor andfounder of Purposeful Living
Coaching.
I help individuals move throughlife's toughest seasons and
step into more clarity,confidence and purpose, without
sacrificing who they are alongthe way.
This question was asked what'sone thing you wish you knew when
(04:01):
you started coaching that wouldhave saved you years of
frustration or fast-tracked yourresults?
If I could go back and whisperone truth to myself when I
started coaching, it would bethis Confidence isn't something
you wait to feel.
It's something you build bychoosing to show up before you
feel ready.
For years, I believed I had toearn the right to speak up, that
(04:25):
I needed more certifications,more experience, more clarity
before I could fully step intothis role, and that belief cost
me time, opportunities and,honestly, a lot of sleepless
nights.
But here's the truth I know now.
You don't become confident andthen take action.
You take action and that's whatgrows your confidence.
(04:54):
When I finally said yes tobecoming a certified life and
performance coach, it wasn'tbecause everything was perfect
or figured out.
It was because I realizedpeople weren't waiting for me to
be flawless.
They were waiting for me to bereal, to share my story, to
speak with compassion, to helpthem see what was possible,
because I had walked through thehard stuff too.
(05:14):
And that's the gift your story,your real imperfect journey is
what qualifies you, that's whatbuilds trust, that's what fast
tracks transformation in you andin your clients.
So if you're just starting outor doubting, if you're enough
yet, please hear me you are.
(05:36):
Show up.
Speak up and don't wait forconfidence to arrive.
Create it, that one shift.
It changed everything for meand I promise it will for you
too.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
So we've had the
honor of knowing Cynthia for
many years now and it's justit's amazing to see how much
she's grown like from when wefirst met her and, you know, I
feel like confidence is likealready in us and it's just
something that just needs to berevealed through what she said
right, by going out there anddoing things, so to see her kind
(06:12):
of living, that is really coolbe real, because there are so
many things you've been able toovercome, right, so many
mountains you've been able toclimb, so many things you've
been able to process and getthrough.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
on the other end,
right, I mean, you remind
yourself of who you are and whatyou bring into every
conversation.
It just changes the game, itchanges up the coaching session
and just really changeseverything forever.
All right, so let's get intonumber three, which is Hillary
Hartling, miss Disney.
So Hillary is really a masterat branding and messaging and
she worked for Disney for quitesome time.
She is also one of the mostkindest and humblest humans on
(06:48):
the planet.
She is somebody that we workvery closely with and she's
helped, given us a lot ofclarity, especially when we felt
quote unquote stuck.
So let's get right into hermessage today.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
You know, I would say
, the one thing I wish I knew
when I started my brand strategycoaching and this would have
saved me years of frustrationfor sure is this that it is so
much harder to get clarity foryourself than it is for anyone
else.
So before I launched my ownbrand strategy business, I spent
over 15 years marketing some ofthe most recognizable
entertainment brands in theworld.
(07:28):
It was Disney, pixar, marveland a couple more.
But honestly, I actually thinkthat that was easier.
It was easier to market abillion dollar film franchise
than it was to market myself,and this is why what's that
saying?
It's when you're inside thebottle you can't read the label,
which means when you're soclose to your own work or when
(07:50):
it's so personal to you, when itis you, when it's your personal
brand so closely linked to yourbusiness, it is very hard to
clearly articulate your mission,your message and really that
unique magic that only you canbring.
And so that's exactly why myclients come to me now, because
they've realized they can't seeit clearly for themselves either
(08:10):
, and the truth is, I don'tthink you're supposed to.
It's why having an outsideperspective, someone like me who
can reflect back yourbrilliance, help you own that
unique perspective that youbring to the table and turn all
of that into a clear brand andmessaging strategy that will
save you years of spinning yourwheels.
So I would say this once youhave that clarity, once you can
(08:35):
confidently talk about who youare, what you do and why it
matters, everything changes.
Then you really then have theclarity to start attracting the
right people and you stop secondguessing yourself because
you're clear and your brandfeels most like you.
So if I could go back in time, Iwould probably tell myself
(08:56):
don't try to figure it out allalone.
And, by the way, this goes forevery area of your business.
I would say it's like thethings you need help in.
Go and seek the help that youneed, get support, but most of
all, get clarity, because Ithink clarity is the fast track
to growth.
Clarity is really thefoundation for a brand and a
(09:17):
business that you are excitedabout and that you can't wait to
shout from the rooftops becauseyou are so clear and your
mission is set.
So that's what I would say.
I hope that helps you in someway.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
She has so much
wisdom, which is why we're
always, you know, reaching outto her and asking for some
support.
But it's so easy for us to even, like, see potential in other
people than it is to see our ownpotential.
And she's right Like, sometimesyou just have to reach out to
others so that they can pointout some of the things that are
so obvious to other people thatyou can't see yourself because
(09:54):
you're in it.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yep, yep, I love that
.
When I look at these ninecoaches that we have here, I'm
like we have some of the mostpowerful humans in the world and
really powerful thinkers ofsome of the most powerful humans
in the world and reallypowerful thinkers, but also
people who, like, really makesure that they help us refocus
our perspective on a way that islike creating more of what we
want, not focused on what'sbroken, wrong or missing Right,
(10:15):
like when when you know Hillaryis talking about, like branding
I think about that related toevery area of your life, what
she shared.
Right, when you're in the box,when you're trapped in the box,
you can't see the label rightand it's very easy to help coach
other people, very easy to helplead other people, because you
don't have all of their behindthe scenes, you don't have all
of their limiting beliefs.
You're just seeing it fromyourself and you have this heart
(10:36):
for, like no, I can see thepotential in you ourselves.
We need to be able to get thatkind of help for ourselves as
well.
Being able to see it from yourperspective is much harder than
being able to go and be able tocoach someone else.
So be open to getting thatcoaching and that help from
someone else.
Let's get into number four.
Oh, this is a good one, guys.
This is Jason McKenzie.
(10:57):
So, jason McKenzie and a coupleof the gentlemen who are here,
they actually connected with methrough the dad edge.
So back when, maybe like five orsix years ago, I was struggling
with my parenting, myhusbanding if that's a word Like
I wanted to become better atthat and I noticed that I was
spending so much time inbusiness and police work and I
was like, well, how do I go todad school or husband school?
(11:18):
And he is one of the gentlemenwho really raised the bar for me
Now, specifically one of thegentlemen who really raised the
bar for me.
Now, specifically, jason islike the empathy king.
The way that he asks questionsis like next level.
It's kind of like one of thosethings where if somebody else
had asked you, you might be alittle offended, but the way
that he asks it with curiosity,that's what I've grabbed onto
and actually used in a lot ofthe different things that I do,
(11:39):
and you will find that outreally soon.
Let's jump right into his tipstoday.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Hey, my name is Jason
McKenzie.
I, along with some amazingother guys, run a coaching
program for dad's homebusinesses, and I am also the
chief coaching officer of theAmes Institute, and we're a
management consulting companythat helps small and
medium-sized businesses unlockthe incredible capacity in their
teams and organizations.
(12:03):
And what do I wish I hadlearned back when I started
coaching?
So I've been coaching for abouteight years I suppose eight or
nine years, probably nine yearsand I think what I wish I had
learned sooner was the power ofhumility and realizing that I
have no idea what is best foranybody else.
(12:23):
So when I started coaching, Iwas fairly enthralled, I would
say, with the idea that peoplewould actually want to seek my
counsel, and I felt a lot ofpressure to be the expert, and
so what I found myself doingfairly frequently was giving
people advice and telling themwhat I thought they should do,
etc.
And I've come to realize that Ijust have no idea what is best
(12:47):
for someone else, and thegreatest gift that I can give
someone is to guide them throughmy own curiosity and
stimulating theirs to uncovertheir inner knowing, because we
often know what the right thingto do is or are more than
capable of figuring it out, justby somebody taking the time and
(13:09):
being present to ask us thetypes of questions that we might
not ask ourselves, which thenfacilitates a journey of
self-discovery.
So at this point in my coachingcareer, that level of humility
and knowing fundamentally,believing that I don't know
what's right for anybody else,has really freed me to just be
fully present and deeply, deeplycurious about their experience,
(13:35):
you know, of the past, of thepresent and what they would love
their experience to be from thefuture.
And you know I found also thatI used to, at the beginning of
the journey, I used to ask a lotof questions, which was good
Obviously that's what a coachshould do but I asked them more
from the point of trying tothink of a great question to ask
, and sometimes I think my egogot wrapped up in, you know,
(13:57):
wanting them to think it was agreat question, where now I am
legitimately just genuinelycurious, like I'm a student of
the human condition, I could say, and I'm much better at asking
questions.
But part of that is because I'mgenuinely curious about
understanding the experience ofthe other person and helping
them understand it themselves.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
That's super, super
powerful.
I think coaches might feel thispressure to like try to fix
someone or try to fix people'sproblems, when you know he said
that tapping into that humilityand that curiosity I feel like
would lift so much pressure offof people because you don't have
(14:38):
to do that.
Right, coaching is not aboutfixing problems or knowing
exactly what somebody needs,because, like you said, we have
absolutely no idea what someoneactually needs and we can guide
them and we can ask questionsand really kind of get into like
really getting to know someoneand seeing what makes them tick
(14:58):
and helping guide them along theway.
But I think that's superpowerful just to keep that in
mind, especially when you'refirst getting started.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yep, I think one of
the things, the main things that
I learned from Jason is thiswhole idea of like just being
curious, entering a conversation, being genuinely curious when
he says that I don't believe,like I know the answers to this,
like he really does believethat he's not just saying that
to himself.
You can actually feel it in theconversation and the thing is
(15:27):
is like when you first getstarted as a coach, you kind of
think, just like as a leader,like I need to be pointing
directions, I need to.
That's what.
That's what it looks like.
Right, but I got to tell youand I want you to think about
this, because I'm sure everysingle one of you has
experienced a coaching momentlike this, where the coach is
just there, is present and iscurious and is asking you
questions, and the level of likedepth that comes out of you is
(15:49):
powerful.
Think about the confidence thatthat gives you when you come up
with the answers, because youhave them inside, versus
somebody else tells you.
It could feel good when thathappens, when somebody else
tells you, but now you'reseeking the outside to find the
answers.
When the answers are really onthe inside, they have this
process called clean thinkingthat we teach, where it's just
like they're disassociated andthey're just really genuinely
(16:09):
curious.
It totally transforms thecoaching session, but it
transforms what comes out of itas well.
All right, so now we're goingto get into number five.
By the way, I told you thesewere going to be powerful, right
, by the way, we didn't evenlisten to these beforehand
because we wanted to be likesurprised by how amazing they
are, and I love them, all right.
The next one is from Jeff Bowman.
Jeff is also a member of thedad edge.
How can I say this?
(16:30):
He, he constantly challenges meto think about how I can
achieve or do both.
Early on, like he was one ofthe main guys who was like hey,
mark, I see that you want tobecome a better father and a
better husband and you also wantto grow like this incredible
business.
What is a way that you could doboth, but not only do that, but
in a way that one wouldactually make you better in the
(16:50):
other?
And it blew my mind.
So he's a tactical genius whenit comes to numbers, especially
he says he's a recovering CPA,but he's also really great at
asking powerful questions.
So let's dive into his feedbacktoday.
Speaker 7 (17:02):
Hey there, jeff
Bowman.
Here I am, the CEO and founderof the AIMS Institute and
founder of the AIMS Instituteand I've been coaching and
consulting leaders, smallbusiness owners and dads and
high performers for about adecade now.
The one thing Mark asked methis question, the one thing
that I wish I knew earliersomething that would have saved
(17:22):
me years of frustration is thisit's that the real value of
coaching doesn't come from thetools I provide, the frameworks
that I might have at my disposal, or my offer itself.
It comes from my ability tohelp someone clearly see the
(17:42):
nature of the problem thatthey're facing, what's causing
that problem and what it'scosting them to not fix it.
And if I go back to time, mygoal was how quickly can I get
into talking about my solution?
Right, and when I would do that, I oftentimes quite honestly
(18:02):
face resistance.
People might nod, they might bepolite, but most of the time
they just weren't ready.
And I think that's where I seemost coaches and consultants get
stuck right.
They ask questions, but not toreally understand and help
people see the nature of theproblem they're facing and
what's causing it or the impactof it.
They're asking questions onlyso they can get to their pitch.
(18:26):
They're focusing on gettingsomeone to say yes to them, not
helping someone say yes tochange.
And so here's what I had tolearn is that before someone can
buy into you, they need to buyinto the desire or the need to
(18:47):
change themselves.
And so I learned that my jobisn't to impress people with
what I do.
It's to guide them through aconversation or conversations
that get them to emotionally andlogically connect to what's not
working and why it matters tothem, and I think if I get that
(19:08):
right, everything changes.
People lean in, they ask for myhelp and they're willing to
invest, not just financially,but mentally and emotionally.
What's really surprising is,when I figured this out, a lot
of the objections that I sawpreviously, that I attributed to
money, weren't even there right, and when we talk about this
(19:28):
right when the people I did getto sign up, they'd be sometimes
Right.
And when we talk about thisright when you know the people I
did get to sign up, they'd besometimes half invested, and
when someone's only halfinvested, it's almost always
because I didn't help them fullyconnect to the cost of staying
the same.
And so the lesson that I wish Iwould have learned is don't
sell your stuff.
Help people see their stuff andthen walk with them from where
(19:55):
they are to where they actuallywant to be, using the framework
that provides the transformationthat either you learned, you've
tweaked or you know to givevalue.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I love that.
I think it's a lot to do withlike transformational coaching
and what we actually do.
I know he's talking about likepotential clients, but you know
we do this with our own clientsas well, because it's like
moving into the hey, let's makeyou feel better or let's reframe
this.
What's another way you can lookat this?
And we don't spend a lot oftime there because that's not
(20:32):
where transformation happens.
It happens when they do some ofthe deep work of like why
they're experiencing whatthey're experiencing.
So that's uncomfortable worksometimes, especially for a new
coach, but that's truly wherepeople can see change.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I love it, I love it,
I love it, I love it, I love it
.
I mean, we talk about this alot, like in all of our programs
.
Right, it is as a coach.
There's going to be someuncomfortableness in you, but
remember, this is not about you,this is about your client.
You're going to want to switch,you're going to want to talk
about the positives, you'regoing to want to, like, pull out
, reframe all this stuff, butyou have to actually help them
get to the root of the problem.
(21:08):
Really, you have to write.
I mean, this is what we havethis 10 part truth series that
we have coming up on a video andon podcasts.
You got to subscribe to thatbecause there's 10 truths that
people absolutely need to knowabout coaching to really be able
to help people in atransformational way.
We're gonna be doing that inthe future.
But he really hit on it.
You really hit on it.
It because it's taking the timeto get them to see where they
(21:30):
are right, get them to see, like, how far they have to go
between there and where theywant to get, and then also like
what is it that is actuallyholding them back?
And the truth is is if mostpeople don't know that right,
and so being able to ask thosequestions and being able to
diagnose and get to the root ofthat is like sometimes that's
all you need in a coachingsession.
You don't even need to jump tothe other side.
Sometimes that seeing that andgoing I didn't even realize that
(21:51):
is enough to motivate and moveyou right.
So I really love that a lot.
Thank you for sharing, jeff.
All right now, before youactually get into the next voice
memo, what I want to share is Iwant to give a shout out to one
of my biggest mentors.
His name is Josh Josh Coates.
He didn't have an opportunityto record an audio here today,
but I feel like I would be doinga disservice if I didn't shout
him out.
He is somebody who has pushedme to grow, has leaned in to
(22:14):
help me develop my skill ofcoaching.
He called it out and saw me asa coach and said you know what?
That's not something you do,that is something that is
basically who you are, and bydoing that, by teaming up with
me, he gave me so manyopportunities that I would have
never had if I hadn't.
So he didn't get an opportunityto make a voice memo, but I
wanted to make sure that he gotshouted out here because he's
definitely one of the my mentors, the biggest mentor, that has
(22:36):
made the biggest change in mylife.
All right, next we're going togo on to number six, which is
Larry Hagner, also known asLawrence Hagner.
So he is the leader and founderof the dad edge Really really
powerful individual.
If you do not listen to hispodcast, where have you been?
It's like the number one rankedpodcast in the world when it
comes to parenting, when itcomes to spousing and all those
(22:59):
other relationshipsrelationships, that's the word
that I'm looking for and he hasreally helped me transform my
life as a parent and as a spouse, and I think you should
probably actually thank him forthis, because I was even worse
than I am now back then.
But I want to jump right intohis takeaway today.
Let's just do it.
Speaker 8 (23:15):
There's a lot of
things that I wish I would have
known three to five years ago.
That probably would have savedme just a ton of frustration.
But if I could have anythingjust really really bubble up to
the top, it's not to be tied tothe results of my client more
than they are tied to theresults.
So like, for instance, in thepast, when I first started
(23:37):
coaching, I wanted a certaintype of success for my clients
so badly.
And what I didn't realize earlyon in my coaching career was
that, you know, I wanted likethese big, grandiose,
unbelievable, you know,groundbreaking results for my
clients and I would make thesegoals and these dreams so big
(24:00):
that, quite frankly, they werequite unattainable.
And what I found was is I wasprobably putting the target of
my client's success so far outof their reach and I couldn't
understand why a lot of myclients early on would just lose
motivation or they would justkind of like over time they
would just run out of steam.
It was almost like theycouldn't go anymore.
(24:21):
The distance was too far away.
What I wish I would have learnedearlier on is what it looks
like to number one, understandthe long game, but also putting
in milestones that my clientscould then go out and achieve,
like the short little wins alongthe way, like not even the
weekly wins but the daily wins,like just the small wins
(24:42):
throughout the day that got themcloser and closer to a goal
that would ultimately bring them, I know, such joy and such
gratitude and all these otherthings that I know that they
truly wanted the fulfillment thewhole nine yards.
So I would have put in smaller,shorter milestones along the way
, things that they could go outand win, ways that they could go
out and literally buildconfidence along the way, versus
(25:05):
chasing some big, huge,audacious goal that might take
them a year to even get remotelyclose to, versus celebrating
small wins along the way.
So giving my clients those babysteps, giving them those
milestones and giving them thosedaily wins that we could then
go out and identify, I thinkthat would have made my journey
(25:28):
as a coach a heck of a lot moreenjoyable as well, as my clients
as well.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oof.
Yeah, I think that like tyinghow you feel as a coach to your
clients' results is like arecipe for disaster, right?
And I think we truly wantpeople to succeed and, like you
know, hillary said earlierearlier, like we can see that
potential sometimes in otherpeople and not in us, and we so
(25:54):
want, like, the best for people.
But I think that you know he'sso right that if you have these
big goals, you have to set thosesmall wins.
And we have implemented thishabit in our programs in our
one-on because it's so importantto be able to recognize that
you're taking those steps andeach of those steps is a success
(26:15):
because that's going to buildup to like the biggest
transformation.
So keeping an eye on that issuper important.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Yeah, I mean, what
Larry just hit on is really one
of the truths that we'reactually going to be sharing in
this upcoming series.
But it talks a lot about likeour heart, right.
Here's the thing as a coach, alot of you guys are what's
called heart-driven coaches,which means you want results for
your client more than anything.
You didn't just get them tosign up and to pay you money and
like you're going to peace out.
You're like I want to dowhatever I can physically,
(26:44):
mentally and emotionally to getmy client's results.
And when you're tied to thatand it's related to your worth
whether you're a good coach ornot, depending on your clients
that can be a painful situation.
Right, and being able toseparate that is one of the
things that you need to learnhow to do, and we'll teach you
that, don't worry about it.
But being aware of it is very,very important.
(27:05):
Right, and making sure that youdo meet your clients.
I like to say I meet them 60%of the way, but really it's 50.
You can't meet them 100%, right, but you have to meet them
somewhere in the middle.
And really finding ways ofbeing able to do that where they
do meet them in the middle.
That's really the power ofbeing able to be a coach, ask
the right questions and get themto buy into it.
But remember you can't controlall of that.
(27:26):
Yeah, all right, let's get intonumber seven, which is Lexi
Smith.
You want to intro her?
Speaker 3 (27:31):
Yeah.
So Lexi is a coach who kind ofhelped me realize that we were
doing really cool things andmore people needed to know about
it.
So I actually got connectedwith Lexi through Hillary, and
she is a PR expert.
So let's hear what she has tosay.
Speaker 9 (27:45):
My name is Lexi Smith
.
I am a PR and business coach,co-founder of the Ready Set
Coach community, a community andgrowth platform for coaches,
and CEO of Growth Mode PersonalBrand Agency.
Growth mode personal brandagency.
One thing I wish I had known wasyou can lead a horse to water,
(28:06):
but you cannot force them todrink.
The outcomes your clientsachieve aren't always a direct
reflection of your effort, yourstrategy or your support.
You can build the roadmap, youcan open every door and you can
cheer them on the loudest, butat the end of the day, they have
to choose to walk through it orwalk the walk.
(28:28):
Understanding that differencehas been an absolute game
changer for how I define successand I set boundaries and,
overall, just protect my energy.
I also want to note that thiscan show up in the sales process
.
Right, you can bring the rightinsights.
You can offer right value.
You can paint a clear pictureof the opportunity.
(28:49):
But if a prospective clientisn't ready to commit or take
action, or even has their ownset of money mindset hurdles to
work through, that's not on youand it's just not a fit, at
least not right now.
This is worth repeating, right.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
I think that you know
kind of the same concept of
what Larry said, but just kindof in a different angle.
But I think the overall themeis ownership, right?
So I mean, everybody has totake ownership of the way that
they show up and the way and theenergy that they put into
something.
And I think that this is reallyimportant.
And even when she said abouthaving that laid out in the
(29:30):
sales process, that way youapproach it with this sense of
ownership and knowing that youcan give your expertise and you
can help people as much as youwant, but if they don't meet you
halfway, then you know it'sgoing to be a problem.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Yeah, I really like
this idea of ownership and it
kind of gets me to think aboutit on reverse, though, too,
sometimes, because what I meanis, like, we can own like the
things that we can't control,but when we start taking
ownership of the things that wecan't control, but when we start
taking ownership of the thingsthat we can't control, that's
where we can get ourselves insome trouble.
Right, and yes, larry talkedabout it.
But even if you think about it,when we were talking to Jeff,
(30:08):
right and Jeff talking about,like, finding out where they are
and asking them questions, bydoing that we actually help them
to make it that first steptowards taking ownership of
where they are right and beingable to identify it.
Because once you get off a callwith somebody like that and
you've taken ownership of that,it's more likely than not that
you're going to take a stepforward and take action.
Right, but we can't takeownership of things like that
(30:31):
that we can't necessarilycontrol.
You can only take ownership ofthe things that we absolutely
can't control, which is how weshow up Really.
It's how, the way we think, theway we talk and the way that we
act those three things we gotto take ownership of all the
time, and of course, there'slike ways to grow, but at the
same time, there's also likeyou're dealing with another
human on the other side, right?
So very important to keep thatin mind, all right.
Next up number eight is MarkHummel.
(30:52):
So Mark is somebody that Irecently came into connection
with.
He has another powerful podcast, but he does this really great
job of like being able tosimplify complex things into
very bite-sized pieces, but thenhow he communicates it is next
level.
He'll take something that seemssuper complicated and then
he'll explain it to you like, oh, that makes total sense, and so
(31:12):
like I really connect with himbecause the way that he explains
things, and so let's just jumpinto his message today.
Hello everybody, mark.
Speaker 10 (31:19):
Hummel here, fellow
coach, ceo and mastermind
community builder, and I'm heretoday to answer the question
what's one thing you wish youknew when you started coaching?
That would have saved you yearsof frustration or fast-tracked
your results.
And I have got the perfectanswer.
I wish somebody would have toldme early on that your success
(31:42):
as a coach is not dependent onwhether or not the client likes
you.
Now what that would have donefor me is it would have released
me from trying to be liked.
I don't mean approval, I don'tneed everybody to like me, love
me, approve me, that kind ofthing.
But what I started to noticeover time is that if I felt like
the client wasn't liking me orliking what we were talking
(32:05):
about, I felt a littlethreatened as a coach, like
perhaps they wouldn't want tocontinue coaching, and so I
would change the language.
I may not push as hard onaccountability and I would
eventually allow them to beginleading the conversation rather
than me maintaining control ofwhere the conversation was
headed by being a great coach.
And so somebody would have satme down and said Mark, thousands
(32:27):
of hours of coaching from now.
You're going to realize thislesson, and until then it's
going to be somewhat painful foryou.
I would have laughed and saidno thanks, could you just tell
me now?
And that would have sped up notonly my progress as a coach, but
progress for the clients Iserved as well.
And that's critical, because,at the heart of all of this, the
(32:48):
test of whether or not we aregreat coaches is taking a look
at your clients andunderstanding whether their
lives are or are not movingforward because of the work that
you're doing with them.
So I want to encourage anybodywho's listening to this to look
through that lens.
What would your coaching looklike if you were not concerned
with being liked by your client,but instead you were more
(33:10):
concerned with impact, withhelping your client have higher
levels of awareness, move aspecific direction and actually
achieve a different trajectoryin their life?
That's what I wish I would haveknown years ago and many
thousands of hours ago.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
One thing that really
speaks to me in this one is
clients have a way of trying tosabotage and not talk about the
things they actually need totalk about, and as a coach, we
need to be able to hold spacefor that, understand what's kind
of going on.
And then I don't want to sayforce, because we never force
people, but offer them theopportunity to go down there,
(33:48):
because that's the path thatthey really need to hit on Right
.
And when I think about that, ithappens a lot.
It's like I do feeluncomfortable because we're
talking about something, but I'mlike also, this is the thing
that's going to be the biggestgame changer for you, right, I
know I say this in ourcertification.
All the time is like when thetears start to flow, I lean in
and that's exactly where I go,because it's like that is
showing me that it's soimportant to them.
(34:08):
And I always make sure that Isay, because it's that important
to them, it's also equally thisother thing, right, I mean, we
we started off like we have sohad so many different niches
that we've actually helped Right, and whenever we were talking
about business, we would find itis actually like their personal
(34:30):
life that was like fallingapart.
That was actually not allowingthem to really grow their
business.
And when talks would go thatway, I'd be like, oh no, I've
got to go back into business andit wouldn't help my client
actually make the impact, likewhat Mark was saying.
And instead, when I saw thatand I called out to it and we
actually were able to jump inthere and figure it out,
business thrived, they were ableto have success.
It's one of those things thatit's hidden but their
(34:51):
subconscious mind would kind ofget it to be thrown off track.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Yeah, this one hit me
really hard because I am the
type of person that wants to beliked and I'm a people pleaser.
So when I sense something isoff like, it really throws me
off.
And I think that this is thegreatest opportunity to go into
kind of these coaching sessionsor even into like a contract
(35:15):
coaching yourself Right, so thatyou know that it's not about
you, it's about them.
You don't have to be liked.
Obviously it's nice if yourclient likes you or you know,
but not making it like be such abig deal and just understanding
that you're there to help themmake a difference in their lives
and putting the work and effortand the thought process for
(35:39):
them and not like how you'regoing to be perceived, whether
or not you're going to be liked,whether you're a good coach or
not.
I think is still like work thatI still need to do, but I think
that knowing this as a newcoach will save you a lot of
heartache.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, a lot of it has
to do with clean thinking,
right?
Yeah, all right.
So let's get into Tina Delgado.
So if you don't know whoteacher Tina is, you're about to
.
She has really helped me levelup the way that I coach, but
also the way that I teach right,because there's a difference
between coaching and teachingand I like to synergize both of
them.
But she's somebody who helpsremind me not only of like
(36:16):
gratitude and the things thatshe like really focuses on.
Remind me not only of likegratitude and the things that
she like really focuses on.
But how can I communicate thisin a way that will allow the
other person to really get it?
So let's jump into her audiotoday.
Speaker 11 (36:25):
Hi, my name is Tina
Delgado.
I'm a holistic success coachand I help professional women
over 40 build unshakableconfidence, create lasting
habits and design a life they'reproud of, by releasing old
patterns, rewiring new ones andrising into their authenticity.
If I could go back to thebeginning of my coaching journey
and tell myself one thing, itwould be this you don't have to
(36:49):
market like everyone else to besuccessful.
I spent so much time spinningmy wheels trying to force myself
into someone else's script,that proven framework and DM
strategy that just didn't feelright.
It felt so icky to me.
I kept copying and pasting,knowing I sounded like a robot
(37:10):
or some horribly bad actresstrying to be convincing when
deep down I knew I wasn't.
And that disconnect even mademe doubt myself.
I thought maybe I'm just notcut out for this, when in
reality I was just cut out to doit differently.
The moment I started givingmyself permission to show up as
(37:30):
me in all my boldness, myhonesty, no sugarcoating, but
with a huge heart, everythingchanged.
I stopped trying to attracteveryone and I started
attracting, magnetizing mypeople.
It was no longer a numbers game, it was a quality game.
(37:52):
I wanted quality conversationswith the right people.
I now believe my most powerfulmarketing strategy is my
authenticity.
So if you're new to coaching oryou're feeling stuck, take this
to heart.
Who you are is enough.
Your truth is magnetic.
The right people will feel itand that connection will last
(38:14):
way longer than any bromarketing script ever could.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Microphone, drop what
comes up for you.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
Yeah, I love that so
much and she's right, the best
marketing strategy is yourauthenticity, because you're not
hiding, you're not trying to besomebody else and I mean we've
seen her journey and it's reallyincredible and she has so much
heart and she's the sweetestperson and I love the fact that
she has like this, this business, and this, this strategy now
(38:46):
that she really, truly loves,because you can see that it
makes her truly shine.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Yep, and when you,
when you like, wrap all of these
together, I feel like that is agreat way to wrap them all up
Right, Because it's like when weare coaching and we're helping
people come to their conclusions, their decisions, seeing what,
like, they're using them, theirauthenticity, their strengths
right and figuring out a way ofleaning into that to make it
work for them, that's reallywhere the power is, and
(39:14):
sometimes we can accidentallycome upon something that works
for us and then shout it fromtheir mountaintops, but we shout
it in a way that's likeeverybody should do this.
I mean, I had this mentor once.
He said there's never one right, best, only way to do anything.
So, as a coach, jumping in and,you know, getting curious, like
(39:34):
Jason said, being able to findthe root of people's problems,
asking them these powerfulquestions, staying out of the
pool right, being able to havethat clean thinking and doing
all of these things is whatmakes us powerful coaches.
But here's the thing you justheard from nine powerful coaches
with multiple decades ofexperience I don't want you to
(39:57):
think that you need to implementall of these things, but I do
want to challenge you to pickone, Because here's the thing I
don't want you to think that youneed to implement all of these
things, but I do want tochallenge you to pick one,
Because here's the thing wedon't get better by consuming.
We get better by acting.
So take one of these thingswith you into your next coaching
session.
Focus on it, get better at itand when you've gotten to that
next level, come back here,listen to this podcast again and
(40:17):
pick up your next one.
We have these really great,powerful coaches here who gave
you some behind the scenes interms of the things that have
grown their business the most.
We went really deep today, butwhat I seem to find from a lot
of other people is they go verysurface level.
They go very like here's atactic, here's what you can do,
here's how you can post, andthey don't actually get to the
root of what's actually holdingpeople back.
(40:38):
And that's why we're puttingtogether a brand new series that
is going to be starting nextweek, both on the audio podcast
and the video podcast here onYouTube, to really take you
through the 10 truths that wewish we had known when we
started coaching.
These are things that are notsurface level, but they are
deeper than that that you mightnot even realize, but you're up
against right now and you'restruggling with trying to find a
(41:01):
way out.
That's what we're going to betackling.
So if you're somebody who wantsto make sure that you're in
that room, definitely subscribe,but get ready, because this is
going to be a game changer foryou.
I, of course, want to thankeverybody who came here to give
you this advice.
I will leave you theirinformation inside of the show
notes.
They all have powerful podcasts, coaching practices you heard a
(41:23):
lot of what they do here.
Definitely reach out andconnect, because when we connect
with the right people, it justelevates everybody in the
community, and that's what wewanted to do here.
So thank you, guys, forlistening to another powerful
episode.
Thank you, nine, for sharingthese powerful lessons.
Go out there and crush it andkeep leading from the front.
Bye, everybody.