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September 15, 2025 3 mins

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Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind as a coach? In this podcast, we unpack why those feelings arise and what they’re really trying to tell you. Spoiler: You’re not behind—you’re just not seeing the whole picture. Learn how comparison can distort your perspective and why true growth in coaching is slow, messy, and deeply personal.

We’ll share insights into why comparing yourself to others’ “highlight reels” can lead to frustration and self-doubt, and why mastering the craft of coaching is less about racing to the top and more about trusting your own journey. Hear a powerful story about how even the most successful people often face struggles behind the scenes, and discover actionable steps to focus on your own healthy growth as a coach.

This episode is your reminder that coaching isn’t a race. It’s about honing your skills, stepping out of your comfort zone, and learning from every challenge. Let us know in the comments—when have you felt behind, and how did you overcome it? We’d love to hear your story!

If you’re ready to stop chasing someone else’s version of success and start building trust in your own coaching abilities, make sure to subscribe and stay tuned for Truth 9, where we’ll explore what really creates mastery in coaching. It’s not what you think! See you in the next podcast.

Interested in learning more about our Coaching Certification program?
Visit us at:
https://www.modernleadership.us/certification

Eastern for an honest, behind-the-scenes look at the lessons we’ve learned by watching real coaches grow? Visit us at:

https://www.modernleadership.us/mastery



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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So many coaches feel like they're behind, like they
should be somehow further along.
Where do you think that comesfrom?

Speaker 2 (00:07):
I find that it usually comes from comparison,
because you're comparing yourbehind the scenes to someone
else's highlight reel.
What I mean is I see a lot ofcoaches who are out there
comparing themselves to otherpeople who've been doing this
for decades, who've actuallyhave marketing skills, sales
tactics and different thingsthat they've been able to learn
and develop that they don't evenknow exist.
And I think a lot of times thatwhen we have that missing

(00:28):
component, we try to fill it inand in this situation, it
actually makes us feel worsebecause we're comparing
ourselves to someone else thatwe don't even know what they've
been through.
So here's the truth Growth isslow and messy.
It doesn't look the same foreveryone, and even the coaches
that you think have everythingall together don't really have
everything together, becausemost coaches don't even share

(00:49):
that stuff that's happeningbehind the scenes, which is just
an in and of itself problem.
So please don't take what yousee from them as truth.
There's always things that aregoing on.
But also, I want you to knowthis the coaching isn't a race.
It's a a craft.
You have to develop it, youhave to master it and you most
definitely have to work at it.
That means that this is goingto take time, but comparing your

(01:12):
journey to someone else'softentimes doesn't help us.
That's why today's truth isyou're not behind.
You're just not seeing thewhole picture.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
So when did you feel behind and how did you get
through that?

Speaker 2 (01:24):
I actually remember the specific moment where this
came up for me.
I was coaching somebody who hada multi-million dollar business
.
They had just gotten a speakinggig, they had just spoke after
me and they totally crushed it.
And I was going out to dinnerwith them and while we were
having a conversation I was like, oh my gosh, this guy's life is
falling apart.
He really needed some coaching.
He needed some coaching thereat the table, but even something

(01:46):
after that.
And it was funny because I hadthought about him having
everything all taken care of,being on that high level,
getting paid a lot of money, butyet I realized that he was
actually having things that hewas struggling with in his
personal life too.
So that's what really helped meto realize that I actually
wasn't behind.
I just wasn't seeing the wholepicture.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
So what does healthy growth actually look like in
coaching?

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Where I see this being the most visible is in
your actions Like are yougetting uncomfortable?
Are you putting yourself outthere?
Are you not making things meansomething about you, and are you
learning all the lessons alongthe way?
Now, inside of ourcertification, one of the first
things that we always hearpeople say is that I finally
feel like I can trust myself,like I can trust my ability of
coaching and asking powerfulquestions and helping people get
to the root of the problem,because we don't just help you

(02:32):
become a better coach, we helpyou stop chasing everybody
else's version of success.
And if that's the shift youneed, we'll leave you a link to
a clarity call below.
Now, if you missed truth numberseven, we talked about whether
you need a certification tocoach and how to know if you're
ready for the next level.
In today's truth, we discoveredthat you're not behind you just
don't have the full picture.
And in truth number nine, we'regoing to be talking about what

(02:55):
really creates mastery when itcomes to coaching.
And a little bit of a spoileralert, it's not more tools, it's
not even more coaching.
We'll see you soon in truthnumber nine.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
So a lot of coaches try to collect more tools, more
certifications to feel morelegitimate.
What do you think is missingthere?

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Tools and certifications are helpful, but
they don't actually createmastery.
Your identity does.
I've met a lot of coaches whohave a full and complete toolbox
, but when they show up theyreally don't trust themselves in
the room or trust themselves asa coach.
And the best coaches in theworld lead from who they are,
not just what they know.
Now, when I talk about identity, I don't mean just identity as

(03:38):
an image.
I mean about how grounded, howclear and how connected you are
in that session.
And that's why today's quote isyou don't become a master coach
from your toolkit.
You become one through yourpresence.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
So when did you stop chasing tools and start building
identity?

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Early on in my coaching career, I learned this
process called be, do, have, andwhat I noticed is I was kind of
doing this in reverse, backwhen I was trying to lose 100
pounds, trying to get moreconnected to you and the kids,
and it was because I thoughtthat I needed to have something
first, when I had the time, hadthe money, had the energy, then
I could do the activities.
When I did those activities,then I would become somebody

(04:20):
different.
But that's actually completelybackwards.
That's the reason why peopleneed coaches, because first we
need to be or become somebodydifferent in the process.
This is where all that internalgrowth and really diving into
your belief system is important.
When you have that level ofbelief, then it'll get you to do
the things that you need to do,but actually it happens on
autopilot.

(04:40):
You don't have to think aboutit because you've already become
somebody different.
And when you do thoseactivities and they come from a
high energy state, then you canhave all of the results that you
want.
And so for me, I thought that Ineeded to have more time before
I could exercise, and once Iexercise, I was going to lose
weight and I was just going tobe somebody else entirely
different.
Only that was yo-yoing up anddown.
It wasn't until I becomesomebody different, got coaching

(05:04):
, learned the lessons that Ineeded to that I started to do
exercising just as a normal partof my everyday routine.
Just as a normal part of myeveryday routine.
It was just a part of somethingthat I did, and when I did that
for long enough, then I got tohave the results that I have
today, which is, I lost ahundred pounds and I've now kept
it off for 16 years.
Has it been 16 years?

(05:25):
Holy shit, Probably.
And that's what happens whenyou become somebody different
first.
That's what we focus on ascoaches, and I realized that
that's what happens when youbecome somebody different first.
That's what we focus on ascoaches, and I realized that
that's what I needed to do, notonly when it comes to my health,
but when it comes to becomingan LAPD sergeant, when it came
to developing, when it came togrowing my coaching business,

(05:47):
but also when it came tobecoming a better father and a
better husband, which is alwaysmy top priority.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
That's me right, Yep.
And what does identity coachingactually look like?

Speaker 2 (05:56):
When you already have become something different,
when you've become someonedifferent, you actually can come
from this place of intuitionthat you have a different, that
you have a bunch of differenttools, a bunch of different
skills, but based off of who youare, you know which ones to use
, which ones to use, which onesto try, and you're willing to

(06:17):
adjust along the way.
You're not second guessingyourself, you're leaning in and
doing whatever you can to help,because that is the identity of
a master coach.
You're not making all this meananything about you.
Everything is about your client.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
And how can someone actually step into this kind of
mastery?

Speaker 2 (06:29):
I found the fastest way is to make sure that you're
in an environment where you'recontinuing to level up along
with other people.
I notice this all the time.
Whenever we have acertification launch and people
get into the program, they're onnext level.
They're getting next levelresults, not only in their
business, but when it comes toleading at work, when it comes
to at home, when it comes totheir health and fitness,

(06:50):
because you're in an environmentwhere people want to grow but
also become somebody differentin the process, and it doesn't
stop.
As you go throughout theprocess, you get better and
better and better, and you gethungry to keep growing and
growing and growing.
But then I noticed that whensome people disconnect from that
environment, they wonder whythey can't keep up.
And this is the same thing thathappened to me also with the
Dad Edge, when I was a part ofthat program myself, is I

(07:12):
noticed that, like when Idisconnected, it was very easy
to get back into my normalhabits.
And so, in order for you to so,in order to make sure that you
keep growing and you keep havingthis level of mastery making,
make sure that you're in thatright environment that pushes
you to keep growing.
This is why we put ourcertification together.
Now we teach skills inframeworks, which is now we do

(07:34):
keep inside.
We do teach skills inframeworks, but that's just the
beginning.
What we help you really do isbecome a coach who can use those
skills and help transformothers.
What we do is help you usethose skills in a way that helps
you become the coach thatyou're, but we actually show you
how to become a coach so youcan use those tools powerfully
and create transformation, notonly in your life, but in others

(07:55):
too.
We help make sure we grow youridentity, not just your skills,
and if that's something you'reinterested in, definitely reach
out and let's have aconversation.
Now, if you missed truth numbereight, definitely go back,
especially if you're stuck incomparison or chasing other
people's results, because onceyou stop comparing, then you
could start building yourcoaching identity.

(08:16):
And that leads to our finaltruth Truth number 10, where
we're wrapping up.
Where we're wrapping it up intothe shift that most coaches
never make and why this shiftmatters more than your business
plan or your niche.
We'll see you in truth number10.
How do you think we're doingGood?

Speaker 1 (08:35):
So many coaches spend months, even years, just
winging it, trying a little bit,a little bit of this, trying a
little bit of this, trying alittle bit of this, copping a
little bit of that.
Why do so many people staystuck there?

Speaker 2 (08:50):
Because we've been taught that coaching is just
something that we try.
But real growth, realconfidence does not come from
dabbling.
It comes from deciding thatyou're all in and then backing
that decision with real growth,real feedback and real practice.
Decision with real growth, realfeedback and real practice.

(09:12):
That's why today's truth is youdon't grow by winging it.
You grow by committing tomastery.
Now I want to share a fewdifferent things.
Now, when I say mastery, what Idon't mean is perfection.
Mastery means that you're beingin the work consistently and
intentionally.
Confidence doesn't come fromknowing it all.
It comes from somebody who'swilling to grow on purpose.
You don't need 10 more books.

(09:33):
You need a space to practice,to get feedback and become the
coach you know that you'recapable of becoming.
This is where the shift happens.
You move from trying to run.
You move from trying to build acoaching business to becoming a
coach who leads with power andclarity.
It might seem like a simpleshift, but it means everything

(09:54):
when it comes to creating realimpact in the world.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Oh sorry.
What does committing to masterylook like, not just in theory?

Speaker 2 (10:02):
It looks like you showing up to grow on purpose,
putting yourself intouncomfortable situations and
continuing to level up yourskill.
No matter where you're at,there's always another level and
you make sure that you surroundyourself with people who think
and believe the same as you.
This means you're puttingyourself in rooms where you
don't feel like the expert.
It's about being open tofeedback, getting in some extra

(10:23):
reps, having your own coach.
Now, this doesn't mean that youwant to try and strive for
perfection.
What it means is that you careenough about your clients that
you're willing to continue toelevate and sharpen your skills
and then use them to show up forthem.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
So what's the cost of not committing and just staying
in dabbling mode?
That's a great question.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, when you're dabbling, you're constantly
second guessing everything thatyou're doing and unfortunately,
your client is going to feelthat, even if you don't say it
out loud.
Maybe you coach a session andyou wonder if it landed or if
you really helped.
You post content online andmaybe you're wondering did that
even matter?
Is anybody going to see it?
Is it going to help them?
You get off a call and thinkwas that even coaching or was I

(11:09):
just giving advice?
Over time, this dabbling reallystarts to weigh on you and then
you start to convince yourselfthat maybe you're not good
enough and you start to losemomentum and belief.
That is possible for you as acoach.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
How do you even know when it's time to stop?
How do you even know when it'stime to stop guessing and go all
in on your growth?

Speaker 2 (11:24):
You usually already know.
There's a reason why, if you'vebeen listening to this series
and something keeps stirring inyou, that's it, that's your
moment.
The shift happens.
The shift happens when you stopasking am I ready?
And start asking am I willingto grow, and instead start
asking how far am I willing togrow.
Because you don't get readyfirst, you grow into that and if

(11:46):
you're happening to feel, andif you happen to be feeling, and
if you happen to be feelingthat pull, it might be time to
stop.
It might be time to stop tryingto piece it all together on
your own and start building withguidance, feedback and a real
foundation.
That's why we built acertification the way that we
did, not as a quick fix or justa tool set, but as a real path

(12:08):
to mastery For coaches who areready to be coached while they
learn how to coach as they learnhow to coach others.
Let me say that again Forcoaches who are ready to coach
as they are coaching others,you'll get the reps the
real-time feedback.
You'll get the reps thereal-time feedback.
You'll get the reps thereal-time feedback, the clarity
and the confidence and theconfidence to lead powerfully

(12:29):
without having to second guess.
So if you're done winging itand you're ready to become a
coach that people will remember,let's talk.
Grab a spot on the wait list orbook a clarity call with me or
Teresa and see if this is theright next step for you.
Now, if you made it through allthese 10 truths, I want to say
thank you.
You're not just someone whowants to coach, you're someone
who cares enough to do it well.

(12:50):
You're someone who cares enoughto do it well, and if this
series stirred something in you,don't let it pass.
Maybe it's time to stop tryingand start becoming.
If that's you, we'd be honoredto walk on this journey along
with you.
If that's you, we'd.
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