Life Before Kids: Postpartum Depression Scales + Getting Back Into Therapy

This week on The Momsense Podcast, Molly and Megan kick things off this week by reviewing birthdays and dance recitals before moving onto what the women did for their mental health this week.

Molly relinquished control of the baby monitor while Megan recommitted to therapy. Molly depended on Chat GPT to inform her on the best ways to fly with a baby while Megan consulted Google on concussion eyes (don’t ask, just listen).

Molly and Megan decided to try something new and each brought a surprise topic to the episode. Dive in with Molly and Megan on the pros and cons of life before kids.

The ladies then partake in a common TikTok trend, Propaganda they are falling for, where they divulge the things they are loving.

The women wrap it up by discussing their love for the podcast and Taylor’s cologne mishap.

Topics: 29th Birthday, First date since becoming a mom, dance recitals, Flying with a baby, Using Chat GPT to plan family vacations, Concussion eyes, Therapy, Postpartum Depression, Propaganda we are falling for, Life before kids

Episode Transcript

(00:10):
Welcome to the Mom Sense podcastwith Molly and Meg.
I'm Molly. I'm.
Meg. You put in my birthday gift,
which was incredible by the way,that you bought stickers.
Tell me about that. I'm excited.
I have not purchased them yet, the reason being I have the
vendor because I have purchased stickers from the same vendor.
It's on Etsy for Colton when he needs to, yeah, for his business

(00:33):
anyways. But, and there was the same
issue before. I forgot that I used my Canva
design skills to create our logo.
So I have to re. I have to redo a few things to
make it so that I can have a transparent background so that
it'll fit properly on the sticker size that I need to
finish that piece. I just have to submit the order
now earlier I think. Excited.

(00:55):
So maybe you said that they could fit on our microphones,
but do we have like bigger ones too that we could put on like
laptops or water bottles or notebooks?
I could do that too. I could do that.
Too. I want a bigger one, yeah.
Yeah, they have quick turns for it all.
Right. Cool.
Tell everyone else what was in the box.
There's one. In particular, I want to point
out, so Megan got me two books. She knows that I want to read a

(01:17):
Rebecca Yarrow's book. So she got me The Things We Left
Unfinished, which is like one ofher most popular books.
And then she got me the names because I just put that on my
Goodreads TBR. And that book is like supposed
to be really an emotional book. Both of these are Megan put a
little note in there that says because you like a sad book.

(01:39):
It was funny. And then Reese got me the thing
that she brought up to Megan waslike, hey, let's get this Frant
Molly was a mug that said main character energy.
I loved that I drank out of it twice already this week.
She can't read the word character, but she can read the
main and she can read energy. So I I don't know if she.

(01:59):
Read a few. Of them and saw the books on the
inside and was like this looks like something Molly would like
or if she just found a coffee mug and walked up to me but
regardless I didn't care becausethe one she selected I thought
was really funny. It was so cute and I'm a big mug
person. Like all the coffee mugs that I
drink out of are pretty much bulls.
And she got me like a big one and I was, I'm going to drink
out of that all the time. I love that.

(02:21):
They have to be. I agree.
I agree. Yeah, and then Colton got me a
magnet of Jennifer Coolidge. That's so funny.
It's holding Reese's dance picture on the fridge.
That's. Perfect.
It's so cute. Yeah, I'll take a picture of it.
Yeah. So those are the things that you
got me. It was awesome.
And then you wrote a little thing that you got stickers and

(02:42):
that you'll send them to me whenyou get them.
Yeah, they're two day turn is what they marked.
Nice SO. It'll be really quick.
Nice. I'm excited you.
See this? That's the water.
What? The heck?
I don't understand. Why is this straw just too
small? You.
You. Hold yours on the side.
What you talking about my sociallike this you're.
Like angling it. I don't.

(03:02):
Know it's because it'll hit my mic if I believe this.
So Molly and I have the same cupexcept for hers was $100 and
mine was 999 and it's got. Megan squirts her in the face
every time she drinks out of it.It does, but it doesn't say
Stanley right here. And so because of that, I got to
save a pretty penny. Yeah, but.
Seriously. It does spell, yeah.
But she has to like, drink it and then move her face out of

(03:24):
the way. It didn't read that in the
reviews so I don't know if it's how I set it up or what.
How many different ways are there to set up a water?
I don't know. But like there's like AI don't I
don't know. That is so funny.
I'm not pleased. All right, let's kick it off.
This weekend was my birthday weekend 29th.
Very upset about it, but that's that wasn't the.

(03:46):
Fun part rough for you. It's sad.
Kind of sad though, I'm almost 30 and like I don't really care.
It's fine. It's just like a milestone, Like
30 years have gone by, 30 years of Molly have gone by.
It's wild, wild. 303030 30 + 3. I'm like going through my 30th

(04:13):
year already because like by thetime you turn age, you've
already done that year. I.
Can't wrap my mind around that. I understand what you just said
and I hear that a lot, but everytime someone says that I'm like
then why don't we celebrate birthdays differently?
Taylor said. Whenever.
Because Taylor's a lot more emotional about aging than I am.
Probably because he's older thanme.
Like if I was older than him, I'd probably feel different.

(04:36):
But he turned 32 in May and he was like, I cannot believe I'm
going to be 32. And I was like, I hate to tell
you, but like, you are technically going on like
you're, you're doing your 33rd year right now.
He did not like that too much. Yeah, I don't like that either.

(04:57):
I'm going the 34th year and that's effectively mid 30s which
that makes me sick my stomach say.
I know, I know for. You being 29.
I am the youngest in the bunch. You don't act.
Practically like closer to Reese's age.
I like, I'm young. Me and Colton, when we were

(05:19):
growing up, like you would growing up, you were in college,
but like you would always tease Colton about being so much
younger than you, right? And so when I was talking to
Taylor, I was like Coltons, likesignificantly younger than
Megan. And then I was like, he's like 9
months younger than you. Not even.
Yeah, not a full year. That's still funny.

(05:39):
Just like. I know I was like I just
remember you teasing him for being so young and but honestly
he's not like at all. No, I think that's so funny.
He's younger than me and he graduated college like a
trillion years ahead of me. So.
So. That's just because you weren't
figuring it out. Taylor.
Taylor took six years to graduate.
Still better than me. I have an 8 year bachelor degree

(06:03):
in marking. Yeah, but.
You jumped around. I I did.
I did once I set, once I got to Oregon.
I was serious when I was in Michigan going to college.
You just couldn't figure it out what you wanted to do.
Yeah, it didn't take things seriously as I should have.
Whatever. Do you hear that?
Listen, you get what you pay for.

(06:26):
Seriously maybe you should have just paid the $40.
Like mines the small version andmine was like 25 I think 30 it
wasn't that like. Yeah, this is insane.
Like I I haven't drank this muchwater in a year and a half.
And half of it squirts you in the face.
So funny. OK, birthday weekend.

(06:47):
You're old now. So my mom came over, right?
She came on Saturday morning andTaylor ended up having to work
on Saturday. So Saturday night we went out
and it was like before we had kids.
It was phenomenal. We went to a fancy restaurant.
We had a cocktail before dinner and then we had an appetizer and

(07:09):
then we had a bottle of wine with our dinner.
And then we just hung out with that for a little bit.
And then we finally ordered dinner and like we took our
time. It was so fun.
And we got dessert and like got another cocktail after dessert.
Like we took our time and then we went home and we hung out and
had wine with my mom. And we stayed up way too late,

(07:30):
but she took the monitor for thenight and we slept in the next
morning and she stayed and she got up with Penny.
She fed her breakfast. We got up at like 8:30 and hung
out with Penny for a little bit and then we went golfing for the
afternoon, which we're huge golfers.
I have golfed since high school and Taylor started golfing when

(07:52):
we started dating and I will go on several like weekend golf
trips a year. We do it a lot in Northern
Michigan, but then we've went toFlorida before and things like
that. Like Taylor and I are very
competitive golfers with each other and he's never beaten me
before. And I was like heartbroken

(08:13):
because the last full round I played was February of 2024 when
I was like 12 weeks pregnant. And so for my birthday on Sunday
was the first time that I had went golfing.
And it was just like fun. Like we went in Myrtle Beach,
but I wasn't able to golf because we took Penny with us,
so I had to be with her. So it was just fun to do the

(08:35):
stuff we used to do. And I'm not at all worried about
Penny when she's with my mom. My mom's great with her and
Penny loves her. So it was like the first time
that I really unplugged without feeling guilty because I know
how much my mom loves to be withher.
So I know it's not burden. It was just fantastic.
It was so fun. I was like Taylor, I want to do
this more often. It's good for you guys, it's

(08:59):
good for you as a mom because you come back.
It's good for your marriage, so good for your marriage.
We can do a full episode of Marriage After Kids.
It's not like we're arguing, it's just that we're not
connecting the way that we want to be.
So it was really nice to have some like, undivided time for
just us. Yeah, I bet.

(09:20):
I bet. That's so, so, so nice.
I'm glad that you guys had a good time.
Yeah, it was so fun. Good.
I can. Tell yeah, other than that.
So yeah, my mom's the best. It's like having somebody,
whether it's a grandparent or somebody you trust, be able to
watch your kids, even if it's not like even if it's just for a

(09:41):
few hours, if you have to go do something.
Having somebody in your back pocket that you know you can
call, I think makes the world ofdifference when you're a parent.
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
The that list for me is very small, but I do have someone as
well. It's so nice.
It's more so not just competence, but the quality time
that the person puts in while they're with your child.

(10:03):
Knowing that they're not just watching them but engage with
them and they are enjoying it like it's it's mutually
beneficial is so reassuring. I agree.
I don't feel like it's a burden to my mom because my mom would
rather do nothing more than spend time with Penny.
And the way that Penny lights upwhen she's around makes me feel

(10:24):
confident that she's good and mymom is so good at like keeping
her entertained. She doesn't get burnt out.
She's fresh every time she's with Penny.
So she's not like me who's burntout half the time.
It's just phenomenal. And I haven't had even with her
in the past. I haven't had time where I don't
feel some guilt, and this was the first time that I was able
to do anything and not feel guilty.

(10:46):
And then in our last episode, wetalked about like goals we were
setting for ourselves. And one of mine is to wake up
before Penny and try to get my day started.
And that happened once this week.
So I definitely think that's an improvement.
Good. For you that is an.
Improvement. Yeah, good for you.
What was it yesterday when you voice messaged me and I've voice
messaged you at 7:00 and I yawned and you're like, yeah, I

(11:07):
could tell. I.
Was like, you can tell that you're enjoying it.
Yeah, I was like, I'm up before,Penny yawn.
Yeah. And as far as getting out of the
house more, we went for a walk and met my sister-in-law and her
three kids, Penny's cousins at the park.

(11:28):
We went for a walk and we went to the park and that was super
fun. That's.
Nice. The two babies crawled around on
a picnic blanket and then the two older kids played on the
park and it was really fun. That's so nice.
Yeah, it was a really warm out, but there was a really nice
breeze, so it wasn't nearly as hot as I thought it was going to
be. It was a really good time just
having someone else staying out with.

(11:50):
Yeah, Yep. And you get out of the house and
just like makes your day go faster.
Yeah, exactly. And.
I was about how in the summer when like the weather's nice,
like there are two types of daysfor me where it's like one time
one of them is like, I'm just waiting for the next nap or
sleep, whatever. And then the other ones are
like, Oh my goodness, I like, I've lost track of time.

(12:11):
Like I need to go down for a nap.
And then there are days during the week that are either I am
just waiting for Colton to get home so that I can have some
help and reprieve. And then there are other days
like what you just said, where Ifeel like I'm out and about and
I'm like, my goodness, it's likeit's almost 5:00.
He's like going to be heading home soon.
I didn't even pay attention because today it's been so

(12:32):
wonderful. Yeah, that's how I Yeah, Today
was definitely one of those waiting for a nap days.
But Tuesday we went and did fun things.
And then tomorrow we're going togo either to the zoo or we're
going to come to your house. We get to hang out.
I'm excited. I'm so excited.
I'm so. I'm also bummed because I'm very
excited to go to the zoo. I'm kind of hoping that it works

(12:54):
out because I am too, because this one's really cool.
And I I said this Theresa earlier, and this might sound
stupid too, but I really like the idea of being with Penny the
first time she goes to a zoo. Taylor's jealous.
Like, Taylor's like, I really want to see her go to a zoo.
No like. I get that.
I'm excited too. I get that.
Either way, I don't care. I'm very excited just to see you
guys. So if you guys do end up coming

(13:15):
here, that's perfectly good withus.
We have neighbors who are just turned 6 and about to turn 4.
So like Race is smack dab in themiddle of them and they get
along great. They came over here and play
like and Race has been begging to see these two.
Not that not that she wasn't excited to see them, but I was
like, the neighbors are coming over today.

(13:35):
Are you excited to play with them?
And she goes, I am so excited tosee Penny and Aunt Molly.
I was like, that's tomorrow. So yeah, you're high on the
priority list in this House. I'm excited and I hate that
we're having all this wildfire smoke because it's one more
thing we have to think about andit's not rain where it really

(13:57):
gets in the way. It's like UV index.
You know, you shouldn't go outside, but you kind of want
to. I hate that I do.
Too. Yeah, so I'm very excited for
the zoo. Me too, me too.
I'm excited for whatever is to come.
OK, before I turn it over to you, I have a question.
This is what my anxious brain does.
Anytime that Penny and I have tolike, leave the house for an

(14:20):
extended period of time, I make lists on my phone the night
before of everything that I needto pack to leave.
And you know, then I do that in the morning.
So we're going to the zoo tomorrow.
What are you bringing with you? I'm.
Bringing my wonder wagon. We would look so freaking cute
pushing our double wonder wagons.
We look so cute. We will think so, but then other

(14:41):
people are going to look at us like those two high maintenance.
In Myrtle Beach, about 50 peoplestopped us and was like, that's
the Cadillac of strollers. Like so many people.
And they said that exact stuff. They didn't say versions of
that. They said that is the Cadillac
of Strollers. Yeah, it truly is.

(15:02):
So, yeah. Wonder Wagon snacks.
I'll put snacks into, like the ones that need to stay cool.
I'll put them into Reese's little like lunch box cooler and
throw an ice pack in there. Change of clothes for Brooke,
our little frog little seat thatsits on top of the toilets.
Yep. I do have Brooke.

(15:24):
Yeah. So they don't fall in and so
they don't touch the disgusting toilet seats in these places.
I sat Brooke down and I don't even say it anymore.
I sat her down and she goes hands in the lap.
This is the whole, like, our movement too.
And I say I love. That's right.
My girl in the lap touch nothing.

(15:45):
So I'll bring that. You get to pack lighter when
your kids get older. That's that.
Alright, that's nice. Yeah, when they get older, it
gets easier. Do you have to bring water
bottles? Yes, I bring yes 2 water
bottles. Brooke I mean, Brooks too, so of
course, but like, how long did it take her to figure out
drinking out of a straw? And he cannot do it, I swear.

(16:06):
OK, so my answer to you is this,and it is not to make you feel
better. It's the God's honest truth.
I don't with Reese, we didn't introduce that stuff.
Like I said, I've said this before.
It never occurred to me to do things until people were like,
hey, have you tried this? And I'm like, am I supposed to
or are we behind? I didn't know and then I would
do it. But because Reese is already

(16:27):
doing it, we introduced everything very early with
Brooke. So Brooke's been doing straw
cups for a very like since before she was one.
Yeah, I've tried to introduce them and Penny just like chews
on them. I'm like, dude, you have to.
Suck she. Can't suck out of a pouch
either. Like she just doesn't.
She hasn't figured it out. Yeah, she'll get there with
that. Those are so convenient when she

(16:47):
gets that down. They're just so messy because
she doesn't suck so like I squirt it in her mouth and just
dribbles out like. Yeah, I remember when Reese was
young, I would bring a spoon with a pouch and he's like, why?
Why pay the extra money for the pouch?
Just bring a jar of applesauce with you.
But I will say that I just because I'm I'm not all like

(17:07):
advanced with Brooklyn home girl.
Reese was drinking, had a open cup.
I think by this age, by two, I won't.
I won't. I don't trust that kid with an
open. And Brooke is not getting an
open cup. Absolutely not.
I have too. Much to do with Reese.
I'd sit down on the pediatricianappointments and they'd ask
questions like that. And like I said, I'd panic and
be like, am I supposed to? And then with Brooke, I sit down

(17:30):
and they're like, have you used up a cup yet?
And I'm like, I'm not a masochist.
No, absolutely not. No.
Did I just use the word masochist?
Right. I got to check.
I think I did. It means like you like to
inflict pain on yourself. Oh, I thought that was a sadist.
That's different. Masochist.

(17:54):
A person who? Dammit.
What is it? A person who derives sexual
gratification from their own pain, but then the second in
general use. A person who enjoys an activity
that appears to be painful or tedious.
OK. So if you do the word masochist,
I meant the second definition, not the first one.

(18:16):
OK, OK. All right, now fill me in on
your week. OK, reset her recital.
Tell me about that. I'm so excited.
It was so cute. I bet I don't know what do you
say about her side all like she had a great attitude I.
Nailed her. Did she try her best?
Like was she nervous? Was she excited?

(18:36):
Yeah, she absolutely tried her best.
No, she was not nervous. She was very excited.
She seemed very confident on stage.
I could tell when she was up on stage that she was looking for
us, which was really cute. That is.
Cute. And all of the girls in her
class said wonderful too. They all tried their best.
It was super sweet. She seemed exhausted afterward.
I don't know if it was just fromexcitement.

(18:58):
I could tell she was off afterwards.
But my cousin was there and she loves my cousin and so she was
very excited about that and we went out to dinner and that was
nice. It was a good day.
Are you still glad that you guysdecided to go out and not have
it at your house? For so many reasons.

(19:21):
Oh, last week and this week I feel like we are just back in
the social swing. I know that I had said that we
were in a lull and I was waitingfor all the new activities to
start up. They have not started up.
However, we've been very social and it has been very good.
I sometimes I'll socialize with people and I feel exhausted
after. Even if everything was great,
even if I had a great conversation, I had a great

(19:41):
time, I leave it. And I'm just, like, depleted.
I feel like I'm coming out of most of the social situations
from this last week and just feeling like I needed that.
I just needed all conversation. Yeah.
And Reece got to see her best friend last week, and that was
so nice. She is in kindergarten.

(20:03):
Far away from us and so they don't get to see each other
every week like they do usually during the summer.
We have a reoccurring play date during the summer and it's her
great grandpa that I meet up with and I adore this man.
He's so sweet and we have a great conversation and we've
really gotten to know each other.
He feels like a friend at this point, as crazy as that sounds.
That is so cute. Yeah, it's great.

(20:25):
And Reese and Brooke both adore these two girls.
And then we went to go get Reese's shoes because she is
starting a new type of dance when she joins, when she starts
the competition team. What kind?
Jazz. I loved jazz.
I think that's what it no, I know that's what I did.
I did a jazz and tap when I was in dance and hip hop.

(20:48):
Same. OK, and so we went to get her
her shoes, and I just assumed that Brooke was going to have
the same teacher that Reese's had, and that's not the case.
So I got to meet her teacher andthat was awesome.
She was so nice. And then I was like, hey, can
you tell me how many people are on Reese's team?
Because, you know, this year they think there was five of

(21:09):
them. So I was like, is it going to be
a small group like whatever. And the teacher said 11.
So. There are 11 opportunities to
make a new friend, not Reese me,11 opportunities, 11 moms that I
have not opportunity to make a friend with, I mean.

(21:31):
Reese is totally where he is. Megan, don't ruin it for Reese,
OK? Don't be the weird mom.
I'm going to really dial it back.
Yeah. Oh, this is such a side note,
which is all I've done this episode.
But so do you know how people are like, Oh my God, it's so
hard to make friends as an adult.

(21:53):
Yes, it is harder to make friends as a married mom.
OK, because your kids, you have to have a similar stage of life.
Your kids have to drive. You want your husbands to get
along and tolerate one another because if if they do, then you
can have more group things. If they don't, or if they're not

(22:15):
the kind of person who is super social and puts a lot of effort
in, you know, it just makes it not as ideal.
It limits what you're able to doright?
Like cuz then you just go on play dates as opposed to like
family things like you don't have a BBQ if the if the
husbands don't like each other, right?
Yeah, totally. Exactly right.

(22:35):
And then of course, the same things that exist just when you
say that it's hard to make friends as an adult, like you
have to have similar values, whatever, like that stuff has
to. Align.
You have to like each other hard.
Yeah. You have to like each other.
Your kids have to like each other.
They have to be relatively the same age.
Your husband's. It'd be nice if they liked each
other. And you have to have the time to

(22:55):
hang out like that. Yeah.
I I mean, I agree it's very difficult to make friends when
you're out of college, but it's even more.
It gets harder and harder as life goes on, I think.
Yes, it is. And the other thing that we
didn't mention is that women have children at all different
ages too, right? So like, I could have a 5 year
old and be 33 and somebody else could have a 5 year old and

(23:20):
that's their last child and theyhave a bunch of other kids at
home and they're in their mid fees.
You know what I mean? Whatever.
Yeah, or they could be 25 like that is very true.
Yeah, the like the stars just have to align and I have 11
shots and I'm thrilled. I'm excited for you.
You got to keep us updated. You're going to come back

(23:42):
episode after episode and be like hell, OK?
Not 0 Freds. We'll see.
Awesome. I'm excited.
I'm excited for you. Thank you.
Yeah, OK. And then update on goals.
I got nothing all right. We're going to move on to
mentally healthy moms, make mentally healthy kids because we

(24:03):
believe that the more effort we put into our mental health, the
healthier our kids will be and the more patient we can be.
So I kind of elaborated already,but of course, last weekend,
going out with Taylor and havingmy mom take full rein with Penny
for those couple days was the thing that I did for myself.

(24:23):
I felt like it definitely recharged me and made me very
excited for the upcoming week tospend so much time with Penny.
I didn't feel burnt out startingthe week so I just feel like
that was exactly what I needed at the time.
Yep. Yeah, I think that's a great
one. I mean, I think a lot of moms
have a hard time asking for help, accepting help too.

(24:44):
Yeah. You like fully having somebody
that you can trust and being able to attach.
I think it's fantastic. And like I said, good for your
marriage, also good for you. Recharges you when you come
back. I think what helped me not feel
so on edge was our reservation was at 8:30 so we could do her
whole night time. And like all my mom had to do

(25:08):
was like do the physical act of putting her to sleep.
Like I was able to feed her and I was able to like change her
pajamas and all the stuff. And all my mom had to do was
give her her bottle and put her down and then she could text me
as soon as she was asleep. And she fell asleep before our
drinks came at the table. So after I knew she was asleep,
we were able to relax, which wasreally nice.

(25:29):
Yeah, that is really nice. And then I put her down for her
morning nap before we went golfing.
And then she was awake that whole time, so I didn't have to
worry about that. The only stress that I feel is
someone else putting her to sleep because that can go really
good or really bad. And I don't, you know, I have
tons of practice. I do it three times a day for
the nine months she's been alive.

(25:49):
So I don't want to put that on someone else.
But when I can avoid having someone else put her down, I
feel exponentially better. OK, so the thing that I did for
myself was start the process of starting therapy again.
And the process is always the hardest part for me because I
feel very overwhelmed by the finding the therapist and your

(26:12):
network that you think is going to align with you and then
waiting for their first appointment because they're
scheduling far out. Yep.
And then you could get on a callwith them or meet them and you
could be like, this isn't gonna work.
And that's a bummer. It's a lot of work for that.
And also you're. It's a lot of waiting for that.

(26:33):
Yeah, waiting. And when you're ready to start
therapy, you're ready to start therapy.
Or at least, when you admit you're ready to start therapy,
you want to start right away. Totally.
I do. I mean, I get it.
We had like a year long wait list when I was working.
Yeah. I had that conversation with
clients so often they were coming to me after they'd
already seen someone else and itdidn't work out or they were
discouraged already. But right.

(26:55):
What we what would do in the clinic is if someone was to say
I just don't think that our personalities are matching, then
I could refer them to someone within our clinic that I think's
personality would match theirs. OK.
So you could always say like is there somebody at the same
company that uses these modalities that is this typical

(27:17):
age range that's male, female, like that kind of thing and they
could possibly refer you. Well that's that is my biggest
problem. So I started therapy and Oregon
in October of 2020 and I hit thejackpot with this therapist.
She was, I had to be similar in age to me, very straight
shooter. Every time we talked she just
like delivered it to me straightand I never left a session

(27:41):
thinking like what was she trying to get at with that?
Yeah. Like was she trying to say
something nice? I like meaning something else.
Yeah, you do like that. You like when someone is very
straightforward with you. Yeah.
I need it. I really appreciate it because I
overthink everything and if I'm with somebody and they're direct
with me and I don't have to overthink it, it feels like a

(28:03):
weight off of my shoulders. Yeah.
It doesn't matter if whatever they're telling me something
that is going to hurt my feelings, that's my thing to
deal with then, right? Like, and usually I can get over
that pretty quickly. It's still might hurt, but I'm
so grateful that I know where you stand.
And nine times out of 10, I value that relationship so much
that I will pivot or compromise,whatever it is, I do really

(28:26):
appreciate it and it comes from my childhood.
Anyways, anyways, I had a followup appointment with the doctor,
just like just like a check in with the doctor and they make
you fill out the anxiety form. And I filled it out and I was, I
was honest. I was just.
It does nobody good to lie on that, no.
No, certainly not. But when I was filling it out, I

(28:46):
was like, Oh, no, yeah, maybe I should do something about this.
And I admittedly have some things that are going to be
coming to fruition in a few weeks.
And I need to, I need to get myself in order so that I can be
the best version of myself for my children.
So better late than never. Definitely for you.

(29:09):
I'm excited for you. I was in therapy while I was
pregnant because I was going through it and I was like, the
main thing was I was trying to build rapport with somebody to
help me get through my postpartum journey.
And literally at like 37 weeks pregnant, my therapist quit.

(29:31):
I was like, dude. No.
So and I like I couldn't make scheduling work with someone
else. So I raw dogged postpartum,
probably a bad idea, especially when I went to the pediatrician
and they have you fill out the postpartum depression scale.
And she walked and I was there for a sick visit.
Like Penny was sick at three months and she walked in.

(29:54):
She didn't even look at Penny yet She was like, your score is
high. How you?
Doing Girl. Yeah.
Do you like doing? You're not Well, it's like,
yeah, I know, I know. So then.
She said it. I kind of like, I kind of like
that. No, I would have loved if she
said it that way. No, she didn't.
She just said, things are hard, aren't they?
And I was like, yeah. And then I started crying and I

(30:14):
was like, I just didn't know if I was supposed to talk to you or
who I talked to about it. And she was like, you talked to
your OB, so why am I? Filling all this form in your
office then? Seriously, it's good.
And then I fill it out at the I fill it out at the OB too when I
go, but I was past my six week appointment, right?
And it wasn't bad at my six weekappointment and then when I
filled it out at the OB, which Ijust made an appointment, they

(30:35):
didn't know why I was coming in.They were like, your score is
pretty high. I was like, that's why I'm here.
Everyone it's biggest gripe is the fact that there's only one
appointment for moms at six weeks and there's nothing else.
And it's like, I think everyone could benefit from more support.
If you don't need that support, then you can choose to cancel
the appointment, but most peopleprobably need a check in.

(30:57):
I'm so having more would be great.
So the fact that your pediatrician's office gave you
that form, it's just a check. It gives you the ability to go
through and do maybe potentiallywhat I did and think maybe I
should do something about this. This isn't.
It definitely like helped me bring up the conversation too,
because how do you bring that upwith your pediatrician?
You're there with your baby, then you have to find a way to

(31:18):
say like, being a mom is not what I thought it was going to
be while you're sitting there with your baby.
That's horrifying. So anyway, those forms you have
to fill out does you no good to lie.
Might as well just tell the truth.
It's an easy way to start the conversation.
Yeah, Yep, OK. But yeah, I'm excited.
I'm. Excited for you.
Thanks, me too. I like therapy, I've gotten a

(31:40):
lot out of it in the past and I look forward to it.
Talking about this makes me misswork.
Yeah, I bet. What a fulfilling job.
Challenging, I'm sure, but. Fulfilling.
There was none ever. A time where I didn't feel like
it was the perfect job for me. That's awesome.
I feel that way about marketing too.

(32:01):
Just kidding. Megan makes everyone's marketing
dreams come true. I hate it.
So dumb. I feel like it's the opposite
end of the spectrum for you. Your your stuff is mental
health, helping people process and work through things to have
the best most healthy life that they possibly can.
And mine is using people's psyche to manipulate them to buy

(32:22):
things and use things. It's like the evil side of what
you do. That is so funny.
Can I ask a question really quick?
Previously when I'm looking for a therapist to just go on to my
health insurance thing and sift through people, make some phone
calls. This time my doctor was like,
I'll put you in touch with our social worker.
Our social worker will like callyou, ask you some questions and

(32:44):
then we'll send you a list of some people.
And I just feel like she's just like a middle man essentially.
Are you asking is that typical? Yeah, yeah, Like they're not
trying to put me in a mental institution, are they?
No, I think that like the socialworker, most doctors offices
don't have that. I think that's like a luxury.
Maybe that person is just there to kind of do that preliminary

(33:05):
stuff, like if you're going to complain about depression,
they're going to advise you go to a clinic that deals with that
as opposed to use shopping around for random people.
Oh no, I feel guilty for not being grateful, OK.
No, I think it's A and I. Don't feel like they're trying
to. What is it 5150 Me?
Yeah, no. That would be but anyway you
going to therapy? Jealous.
I need it. Yeah.
Maybe I should go. OK, so we're gonna move on.

(33:28):
We're gonna do things we Googledor ChatGPT.
Megan, I downloaded ChatGPT. As you.
Yeah. What do you think?
What are you left yet one? Of the things I googled.
So I have protested AI in every way that I can since it started
being user friendly because I'm scared that it's going to take

(33:48):
over the world and I don't want to be one more person that makes
it cool to take over the world. Then I downloaded it because
Megan talks about all the time one, it's fantastic.
And then the day after I downloaded it and started using
it like crazy, Megan sent me a TikTok about how literally
there's some, there's an AI formout there that didn't take a

(34:10):
command that it was given, rewrote its own code and like
did its own thing. And I was like, that is the
beginning of the end. Rewrote its own code and avoided
shutdown. That's what happened with it
That is terrifying if you there's a book called artificial
wisdom and it it sets place in 2050, I think.

(34:31):
And the whole concept is that they're trying to elect a world
leader and one of the leaders that is running for election is
AI and it's terrifying You read it and you're like this is not
science fiction. This is a prediction of the
future. That's terrifying.
That's a great book, by the way.Here's the thing, at the end of

(34:51):
the day, when I talk to Chad JPT, I'm kind, I use my manners.
So hopefully it likes me and just like it takes me under its.
Wing See, I use no punctuation. I form every question like a
statement and. You're screwed.
Yeah, they're gonna hate me forever.
They're gonna turn my electricity off and make it so
that I can't live. So Taylor and I have this couple

(35:16):
friend that I've already talked about on here before, but they
have a one year old. And they mentioned to us
probably like a month ago, two months ago, that they would love
to go on like a vacation with the six of us.
And I told her that I had not yet gotten brave enough to fly
with Penny. However, if it was like Taylor,
I and Penny and then those threeand we all flew together, they

(35:39):
have a baby relatively the same age.
I'd be a lot more right? We're doing it together.
It's not just me. And we have finally gotten to
the point where we're like trying to pick a place, trying
to pick up time of year like in the works.
I made a spreadsheet. Then I sent it over to them.
Anyway, my first thing to ChatGPT is what do I need to
think about if I'm going to fly with an infant?

(36:01):
They broke down the what you do with the car seat because that's
one thing that I'm like, what the heck do I do with a car
seat? Like you have to have it.
I know some people take it on the plane for the baby to sit in
on the plane and some people just check it at the gate.
They're not at the gate but check it with their stuff.
I'm probably going to just checkit with my stuff and have penny

(36:22):
like sit on a lap. But the scariest thing is like,
what if they lose our luggage? Then we can't leave the airport
without a car seat. And you and Taylor have a track
record, no? Yeah, not having our luggage for
a 15 day honeymoon in Italy, That's just terrible.
It's a bummer. That's unfortunate.
Yep so anyway, Yep, I ChatGPT D that followed it up with like

(36:46):
where's the best vacation spots for young families?
I didn't get a whole lot from that one.
Can I make a recommendation? Yeah, yeah, please.
When you and your friend have like a top, let's say like a top
three, like of the places you'reconsidering, type into chat GPD
something to the effect of plan a however long you're doing 5

(37:09):
day vacation for me in this citythat's family friendly or
whatever. And it'll give you an itinerary
and then you can look through the itinerary and then it'll say
everyone goes to this place and you can look it up and you can
like get a feel of like that's your vibe and that's what you're
that's what you're hoping for this vacation.
When we were thinking about going to Charlotte, we did that
and it was like it was. Wonderful, dude, AI is already

(37:31):
taking over travel agents jobs. All right, Yeah, so that's what
I googled. Now what did you talk to your
boyfriend ChatGPT about this week?
I don't know cuz it's on my phone and honestly I probably
would not share with the class but I will tell you what I
googled and I keep laughing. Yeah, I know.
It's got to be. Funny, it's not I.
OK, tonight I searched for concussion eyes.

(37:54):
Did you hit your head or did thekids hit their head?
Was it broke? It was terrible, yes, it was
terrible, but just the, it was like almost cartoon like the way
that it happened. She.
Yeah, right before bedtime tonight, I helped her get on to
the toilet and I she. Fall off the toilet.

(38:19):
Yeah, she did. Yeah, it's never happened
before. And the stool wasn't there
either, so she, I don't know what happened.
I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and she fell to the
floor. Like forward, like fell forward
off the toilet. Terrible.
And there was no self-defense. There's no hands.

(38:42):
So. Just anyways, she has a fall
meltdown. It's totally justified.
We're walking out of the bathroom, get her all cleaned up
or ever wash my hands. I'm walking out and I was like,
do you want to go in there Reese's room or in there your
room? And she said Reese's room and
the lights on because Reese is reading Colton a book.
Colton's reading Reese's book and I'm just staring at her eyes

(39:03):
and I'm like, I want to go asleep because her right here,
so red. I'm like, did she did she hit
her nose? Like I don't know what I don't
know what concussion eyes look like.
I'm assuming just your pupils are excessively dilated so I
just googled that just to make sure that she was good and then
I like the reason I was like arepupils like bigger than and

(39:23):
brushes? Like buried them.
Molly, it was insane. Like the fact that she didn't
have the instinct just to move ahand a little bit to protect
yourself. It's like toilet, like she's
sitting out of the toilet and she just, I don't know what
happened. I don't know what, like, how'd
she lose her balance, but that actually is funny.

(39:45):
Like, yeah, her hands are in herlap and she goes.
She. Yeah.
At home, too, she does that too.She says, hands on lap.
And I'm like, I, I know it's notnecessarily here, but whatever.
It's good practice. Yeah, I don't, I don't know what
happened. I have no idea.
So anyways, I like to concussionize.
We'll see. I should stay in the morning.
And then the other thing that I looked up is this is the God's

(40:06):
honest truth. I looked up.
I have to look up the exact verbiage.
LinkedIn, Brian. Tech Support Riverside FM.
I guess you were going to say this man does not want to do
anything. I just wanted to look up his
title and then I wanted to plug it into Indeed, just to see when

(40:27):
he was making it. This was at 1:18 in the morning.
I think my intention was to makea joke.
I would have censored private information, but to make a joke,
But I was not able to find him. Anyways, Brian, if you're in our
account, thank you for your help.
You were very helpful. Yeah, thank you for nothing.
Yeah, thanks for nothing, Brian.I literally said to this man,

(40:47):
hey, just level with me. For those who don't know,
Molly's audio for the last two episodes has cut out like
roughly 10 minutes to the end. Like mine still is working, hers
is gone and we have had to touchbase with tech support.
Molly worked with them once. And then I like I have disclosed
and a little neurotic and we'll go back and watch our episodes

(41:10):
before they post. Thank God you do that.
Thank God I did, right. It paid off.
It paid off because I was watching it on YouTube.
I got to the bitter end and thenI look and your audio cuts out
and I look at the time and it is1140 and I thought, thank God
they have 24 hour support. Well, never mind.
I take that back. Not thank God because anyways,

(41:31):
he goes back and forth with me. I'm like, please just be honest
with me. I might throw it in the towel
now. I'm going to get some extra
sleep. Yeah, or I'm going to stay up
because this is my work and he'slike, I think so I think it's
going to work, whatever. And then I see the file
exported. He hasn't typed anything to me
yet. I go into the file and scroll to
the end. So I already know that he's
going to tell me that. It didn't work.

(41:52):
It didn't work and then a few minutes, way longer than it
should have been, he writes. I regret to inform you, come on,
a few weeks ago we had the same problem and they fixed it and
they did a ton of exports and they named the export by what
they did. So I bet you that I could just
go read that and then duplicate it and sure enough, I did it.

(42:12):
So thanks for nothing, Brian. You were lovely to talk to, but
you were of no. Help.
I'm glad now that we know what to do.
I deserve a cut of his salary was the joke I was making tech
support Megan. Yeah, Megan has a new role.
Add that to the list of accomplishments schooled someone
on their tech job. All right, we are going to get

(42:33):
into our episode topic this week.
So we did things a little different this time.
Usually Megan and I agree on an episode topic, let's be honest,
the day before. But we're trying to change that.
Well, we started doing it far inadvance and then as time has
gone on, it's been like 3 days in advance, Two days in advance
in the morning of. I think that we'll get back

(42:54):
there. So anyway, for the episode topic
this week, we decided that I would bring a topic that we
could discuss, Megan would bringa topic that we could discuss.
So I'm excited to do it this wayand see how we like it,
hopefully. Yeah.
OK, so the thing that I wanted to discuss is your life prior to
kids and your life now. I know that literally everybody

(43:15):
says you don't even remember what your life was like before
kids. Your kids are older than mine,
so it's further removed for you.But I have questions that we
could go off of. What was your work life like?
Give me a quick rundown of your daily routine.
I would get up 30 minutes beforeI had to leave for work, and
then I would rush to get ready and I would get in the car and

(43:38):
my office was minutes away. But the commute time was so long
because we lived in an outskirt of Portland, OR, and Beaverton
specifically is where Nike's world headquarters is at.
It's just a very overpopulated area.
Commute was miserable. So then I would sit in the car

(44:00):
and I would listen to podcasts and let read or listen to audio
books at the time. Or I would voice message you or
voice message 2 of my other friends.
I do a lot of voice messaging. I love that you voice message.
You are the only person I know that does that.
I wonder why, because I wouldn'tjust start something without

(44:21):
without thinking that it was normal.
You know what I mean? Because I don't ever want to be
a bother to anybody. And and like voice messaging is
like a time commitment. I mean, I freaking love it.
And then I would get to my office and I was a marketing
automation something or other for a bank, which I was like the

(44:43):
least glamorous job ever. But it was awesome.
I really, really enjoyed it. I really liked the people that I
worked with. And then I would, whatever, do
lunch and go home and eat out probably like we never cooked at
home. And then on the weekends we
would go into Portland OR go to the beach or hang out with our

(45:09):
friends. Yeah, I don't know.
Like, we're definitely always exploring the area.
And then I did a lot of traveling for work at that time,
too. Lots of trips to Washington
State around that time. So you guys went, you said you
ate out a lot. Was that like take out or like
you went out to a restaurant? All the above.
So like we could Uber Eats, literally anything that we ever

(45:33):
wanted, but we had a ton of different restaurants out there
that we loved. Like when I was pregnant with
Brooke, we planned a trip to Portland, in truth, to see our
friend. We have a friend who is like,
like he, he comes to visit us I think once a year, which is him.
Yeah. Zach, Zach to introduce him
because I promised I would do this.
Zach is somebody who worked withmy husband at Nike.

(45:57):
So for those who don't know, my husband was was an engineer for
Nike and he worked on shoes. Duh.
Yeah, so Zach and Colton work together at Nike and we've
maintained we'll be friends withhim for the rest of our lives.
He's like a pseudo uncle to our kids.

(46:17):
He's great. And so we went out to visit him.
But but truly, what sparked the let's go to Portland now as
opposed to like some other time in life, is that I craved the
food that was out there because the food in Michigan, like going
out to eat it all sucks. You cannot miss in Portland.
OR like I dream about the tacos at a place called Porque.

(46:38):
Now all that to say, yeah, we went out to eat all the time,
so. After you guys would get back
from eating out, did you guys watch TV?
Did you just like, was it late enough where you just went to
bed? No, we were.
We've never been big TV people. OK, I didn't know if that was
new since kids or if you'd neverreally watched TV.
What do we do? I mean, we'd stay out later, and

(46:59):
we went out on the weekends a lot, too.
We'd go out in downtown Portlandall the time, go get dinner, go
get drink, walk to different places.
Right. Go to hockey games, go to
basketball games, go to concerts.
We went just so many concerts before having kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess when I'm thinking about

(47:19):
it, we did a lot of stuff that we don't can't do now,
obviously. Yeah.
It must be very different. Yeah.
OK cool. So what other questions do I
have? What is one or two things that
was different about your relationship with Colton before
you had kids? I mean the obvious, which is

(47:41):
that the decisions that we were making felt not as important and
more short term, yeah, and shortterm.
And so frankly, at least as far as I'm concerned, had less
things that I'm like passionate about, like I, I'm very
opinionated about our children and the way that we raise them

(48:02):
and our house and our lifestyle and what I want for the future,
our relationship. Every change you can make is a
big deal. Yeah, yes, yes.
It's either impactful now or it will be impactful later.
Yep. That's how I feel.
You have to answer the same questions because I want to know
your take. Yeah.
OK. So then my day in the life

(48:22):
looked like we would get up together.
We always got up like roughly 7:00, and Taylor had to leave
for work by 8:30. I didn't leave until 9:00 or
9:15. So I would make breakfast for
us. We'd always have breakfast
together, and then Taylor would get ready while I kind of, I'd
probably watch TV, to be honest.And then when he was about done,
I would start getting ready. He would go to work and then I

(48:44):
would go to work. Depending on the day, I usually
got home at like 7. So I would see like four or five
clients and then come home and Iwould start dinner.
He would get home usually right when dinner got done or maybe
after after I'd done finished eating.
And we always were TV people. We watched at least one episode
of whatever show we're watching together and then we'd go to

(49:05):
bed. That was that's roughly a day in
the life. On the weekends we did a lot of
relaxing. We're very at home relaxing
people. A lot of the time we just kind
of hung out at home, ordered take out, watched TV, spent a
lot of time together. We talked about that a lot that
we can spend uninterrupted alonetime together doing seemingly

(49:28):
nothing and be very content doing that.
We're fairly boring people and then realistic when it comes to
things that are different with us.
I feel like we're a lot less going to say like emotional
toward each other. I think that we talk a lot more
about Penny and how she's doing and her day-to-day and less

(49:49):
about how we're feeling, which we used to talk about that when
it was necessary. You know, I just think that when
you have a young kid, you don't think about how you're feeling
very often and tell it you have to, right?
So we just don't talk about it as much, but 99% of our
conversation is always about Penny.

(50:10):
And of course it didn't used to be right.
I would say another thing. I used to have to really work at
getting Taylor to go do anythingsocial and now I feel like he
like, likes to get out. Of the house a little bit more.
Wow. However, I'm a lot less willing
to do things, so you've kind of switched roles in that way.

(50:30):
Yeah. So what I'm hearing from you
tell me if I have this right, it's like your understandably
so, but your relationship has pivoted more to a heavy, heavy
focus on Penny and raising her and all the things that come
around that and less on your relationship and you guys as
individuals. Is that what you anticipated or

(50:51):
did you think at at this point you'd have more balance?
Yeah, right. It's, I never really thought
about it, you know, like I didn't think that this part
would necessarily change. I thought there would be a
balance. Like we'd also still feel really
emotionally connected to each other.
And I think that now we just have realized that that takes a
lot more work than it did before.

(51:11):
Like it was just typical conversation for us before and
now we have to like carve out the time to catch up with each
other on the important things. And you have to have the energy.
For it, you have to have the energy, but you have to have
like the emotional capacity. And I feel like I'm a lot less
patient and a lot less understanding.

(51:31):
So yeah, I just, unfortunately, I think that is something that
has been very difficult for me to come to terms with.
I can't be the person that I used to be at this stage in my
life. And the goal is to get back
there, and I'm sure that I will.Everybody says that at some
point you start to feel more like yourself.
I think that is so relatable. Yeah, this motherhood shit, it's

(51:55):
hard. I know.
Do you have more questions? So what was a hobby that you had
before kids that you don't really engage in anymore?
I had no hobbies, not before kids, nothing you could ask
Colton. I had nothing to go do for
myself. It was solely social
socializing, I guess, or going and doing things with Golden,

(52:16):
exploring things with Golden. But like, it's not like I could
sit down at my house and like. Are you saying that you didn't
collect coins? Yeah, no coin collecting.
Crazy, right? You should see my collection
now. It's crazy.
Nothing. I had nothing that I like to do.
Now I feel like I have, I have so many things that I like to do
because I need something small for myself.

(52:38):
And it, it's helped a lot. Of course, reading.
I really enjoy doing puzzles. Of puzzles.
Procreate on my iPad like I havea bunch.
Of things I thought you said, I thought you like you said
procreate. Then you probably like yeah,
yeah, you your hobbies, making more kids are creating.
No, no, that is so. Pretty Procreate.

(53:00):
It's now on your iPad Pro Digital.
Art, drawing and stuff, right? Yeah.
I have so many things that I like to do now.
Nothing prior to kids. I feel like a more well-rounded
person now since having kids, soI like that change.
That's not all. I love that things were so
glamorous and great. And now, like, I'm surviving,
like so many upgrades since having kids.

(53:22):
Yeah, yeah. Sounds like it.
What are you? I would say the one hobby I can
think of, I mean like golf, which I hope to get back into,
which I will at some point. But the one hobby that I used to
do that I have not done at all since Penny was born, is I used
to make a big Sunday dinner for Taylor and I and would spend a

(53:42):
whole Sunday making a dinner andit would be something I hadn't
made before, something that tooka while with lots of sides.
Like the whole thing. I would find it very mentally
challenging to make something new, be managing multiple things
at a time and like making sure everything finished at the same
time. I loved that and trying new

(54:06):
things and like making up recipes on my own.
Like I really enjoyed all of that.
And I have not done that becauseit takes a whole day and I do
not have a whole day. So I don't do that anymore.
I'm. But that's pretty much the only
thing. I mean, like we used to travel a
lot. We went on a lot of vacations
prior to Penny and that's just kind of on pause at the moment.
But as soon as she's at better age, then we will travel again.

(54:28):
But yeah, we went on like two orthree vacations a year before
Penny. Yeah.
Yeah. So nothing that like not a whole
lot that I don't do you still. Yeah, stuff that you that you
still would very much enjoy. It's just on pause because of
the phase of life that you're inand the age of your child.
Yeah, I'm not too upset about the hobby situation.

(54:48):
Yeah, things I think are so muchbetter now.
I feel like I'm just a more well-rounded person, that my
values are clear, my morals, like all that stuff.
So yeah, there are things that Imiss and I, you know, miss the
flexibility, all that stuff. But I wouldn't.
Yeah, I don't even. I wanted to say I wouldn't trade
it for the world. It's.
Like it's literally everyone says that.

(55:09):
Duh. Yeah.
But like, I prefer this life. OK, so for my topic, there's a
trend that's going around on TikTok and it is propaganda I'm
not falling for. And then they'll list bullet
points of things. I'm flipping that on set, the
propaganda that I am falling forthe things that I like now, slow

(55:30):
living, like slow mornings, not being in a rush to get to all
these different things and places.
Number one, bringing the kids. If there is something that I can
leave the kids with Colt and then and go do it, fine.
But if it's a Colton and I are both coming, I want the kids to
come. Otherwise I'm probably going to

(55:52):
stay home unless it's like, you know, big life events for
people, whatever. Obviously they're outwire
situations, but for the most part, bringing the kids this
one, I'm going to get tattooed on my forehead.
I feel it in my bones. Energy and time are expensive.
They're the most expensive things that I have, and I care

(56:15):
greatly about how I'm spending my energy and who I'm giving my
energy to and then experiences over any tangible thing, period.
I like that one. I very much feel that way.
And then move quietly. I don't feel a need to broadcast

(56:38):
my what's and why's to people. I feel like it's a privilege to
know someone and know the insurance and outs of their
life. And of course, we're talking
about it on the podcast, but I mean, you and I obviously have
filters. We're only sharing what we're
comfortable sharing it with anybody who's listening.
Yeah. You are a very private person.
I just to be honest, I, I don't think it's that I'm like trying

(57:00):
to be private. A piece of me is like, I don't
want to be a burden and I don't,I feel like in certain instances
like I'm not going to just come out to people and be like, guess
what's going on with me? I've never been that way.
And so I guess I could. Say in every instance I would
arguably say we're as close as friends get and not arguably

(57:21):
like I would say that and you have never once come up and been
like, guess what's going on in my life?
I have to pry it out of you withevery fiber of my being.
I. Think if you had a room full of
people who I associate with regularly, they would say the
same thing. That's not a personal.
I believe it. No, no, I believe it's a you're
comfortable, you know, like not sharing.

(57:44):
Yeah, yeah, I am. That's not a bad thing.
That's good. I mean, I think that you could
share because then you'd have a lot of weight off your
shoulders. But I don't think it's a bad
thing that you're not trauma dumping and literally everyone
you meet. I can't think of instances I've
done that, but yeah, it's a spectrum.

(58:05):
I can go to the unhealthy end where I'm reclused, basically,
or I can be on the other end of that spectrum where I'm not
sharing, but it's out of confidence.
So it could come off as private,but I don't necessarily feel
like I'm like private. But in this stage of my life, I
feel like it's a privilege to know what's going on with me and
what's going on with my children.

(58:25):
And I'm not not trying to seek everyone's feedback and
approval. And then the last one is kind of
light hearted. Do you know the phrase girl's
girl? Like she's a girl's girl.
OK. I've been singing TikTok.
They've been saying mom's mom. And I love that she pays
attention and pays a compliment or helps out when she notices
you need help or or whatever. It's like, I don't know, a mom's

(58:49):
mom. Like you're looking out for
other moms and not shaming everything that people are doing
because at the end of the day, no one is trying to.
Well there are some people who don't give shit, but for the
most part most moms are doing their best.
I have not heard that. I love that right before
Christmas, I needed to get an oil change before we travelled.

(59:10):
So Penny was in her colicky timeand I was in my untreated
postpartum depression era and I had amped myself up for more
than a week that like we're going to go at this time to get
the oil changed. This is the time that she would

(59:31):
be the best out in public. This is my, this is what I will
do if she starts to cry out in public.
I had went through every scenario that could have
happened and I knew that I had to be there for an hour and a
half. I was so incredibly anxious.
I didn't know, do I want to takeher infant carrier?

(59:53):
Do I want to take the whole stroller?
Do I want to put her in a baby wrap?
Like I had went through all these options and I was so
incredibly anxious and I broughtthings to wiggle in front of her
face to keep her entertained. I'm literally having like PTSD
talking about it. Of course I sent my car and we
went into the little lobby thingat the dealership.
And I was anxiously waving thesethings in front of her face,

(01:00:16):
like, hey, look at this rattle, it's so funny, ha ha.
And of course, she started crying like she always did.
And I changed her position. She was in her stroller.
I picked her up. I started moving the stroller
around. I did so many things.
Meanwhile, this lobby's full of people, right?
And it's winter, so it's not like I can just go walk outside.
And I picked her up and cradled her.

(01:00:37):
And I wasn't even embarrassed. I don't care.
Like I bounced her so enthusiastic, stickly and like
Penny would love when I would sway her, but like really
exaggerated and like stop like jerk and all these things.
It was like a circus act. You're a show pony.
Yeah, yeah, I'll stand on my head if it makes you stop crying
in public. I don't care.

(01:00:58):
And eventually she'll settled while I was swaying her and I
swayed for an hour and 15 minutes straight and a mom came
up to me and was like, you are so good with her while she was
sleeping in my arms. And I like almost cried it this
public lobby. Was it early on in the swaying
or was it like later? Probably like an hour in.

(01:01:19):
That is the time when you need it the most.
Yeah, because I was so burnt outand embarrassed and tired and
there were so many men in this area, very few women.
So I felt like a shitty mom and I felt like I was losing it.
And I had first time mom writtenall over my face.

(01:01:40):
I was so anxious. It was winter and I was
sweating. I was just like, so embarrassed.
That's exactly what I needed to hear.
A mom. That's a mom's mom.
That's yeah. Yep.
Totally. Thank goodness for her, what a
kind person. OK, so you gave me great ones
and I've not seen this trend on TikTok.

(01:02:01):
The things that I that I put on my phone are very specific
compared to what you've. Said TikTok too.
The ones on TikTok are like vanilla matchas and getting a
little treat while I'm out and. And I don't feel like that.
Yeah, that's honest. I just thought really deeply
about it. OK so the first thing that I am

(01:02:21):
all for is fragrance free everything, like everything.
I think my chapstick has no fragrance in it for me and for
Penny because she's on me 90% ofthe day.
So my laundry detergent has no fragrance.
I don't wear perfume anymore like my hair stuff.
I try to do fragrance free. We're all natural over here.

(01:02:44):
Deodorant as fragrance, just so everybody knows.
Literally. Thinking deodorant?
Yeah, No. Where's fragrance?
She's not all up in my armpits. Were you like that before?
No. Having her right?
Yeah, I don't think. Anything.
No. I burned candles all day, every
day, all day. And I wore two different kinds
of perfumes. And yeah, I I was a fragrance

(01:03:05):
person. So now I literally feel hippie
because I don't wear fragrance. No.
Yeah. Not inviting cancer in.
No. No known carcinogens.
No, thank you. OK.
The other thing is that I do notput socks on her unless we're
going outside. It's supposed to help with their
sensory development. Whoops.

(01:03:26):
And I like, if I'm somewhere else, I don't put socks on her.
Like, if we're outside, then. Yeah.
And it's cold during the summer.I don't have.
Socks on her? Sure, sure.
So like if you're when you were at the park for example.
She had no socks on. Who are Sock Park in the sand?
Like today we went to Target. I didn't put socks on her.
OK, see, that feels like a fringe decision.

(01:03:48):
Yeah, but there's benefit to it.Sensory.
But why in Target? What sensory are we seeking in
Target? Why not?
I just don't put socks on her because she's going to kick him
off. OK.
I mean, like, what's wrong with it's 77°?

(01:04:09):
It was 77°. Like, I'm not putting socks on
her. I'm not going to put sandals on
my babies. Going to kick those off too,
right? Right.
Let the dogs out man all. Right.
Got it. No, I'm tempted to ask, am I
supposed to put socks on her cuz?
I don't. I did.
I put socks on for every outing and then when I got the cold
thing, that's irrelevant cuz of course, yeah, yeah, I did.

(01:04:31):
But I don't know. Why inappropriate to have her
feed out? I don't understand.
I wear sandals. No, I don't think so.
I don't think so. Now I'm second guessing it you.
Have a valid reason it's sensoryI.
Saw it on TikTok, I don't know if it's true.
My entire life is designed by TikTok.
Do you understand? No original thoughts happening

(01:04:52):
up here anymore. It is all it's all inspiration.
OK, I, OK, I'm going to out myself for a second.
So when Penny was roughly like 3months old, you know how they're
like pretty horizontal at that, right?
Like, yeah, you create a lump, you put them on the floor or in
their back, in their crib, whatever.
Like they don't sit up on your lap.

(01:05:12):
They don't sit up on their own, like anything like that.
I had, she had finally like, like I could put her seated on
my lap and like COO at her and hold her and stuff like that.
And I saw on TikTok that I wasn't supposed to be doing that
because it's bad for her hips toprematurely put her in a seated
position. And I literally went to the
pediatrician and was like, is itbad if I sit her up on my legs?

(01:05:35):
Like I'm holding her and stuff? But is it bad for me to put her
in that position? And they were like, no, how do
you expect her to sit up if you never put her in that position?
And then I literally was like, OK, that's what I thought.
But I saw on TikTok from APT that that that's not good.
And they're like, you got to stop going on TikTok.
Delete the app. Literally half of the things

(01:05:57):
that they've told that I've learned on TikTok, my
pediatrician's like, no, why would you do that?
So I'm weird. Oh, that doesn't know what I'm
doing. No, I'll give you an example.
The same thing happened to me. So I went down the, this is
embarrassing. I went down the fluoride
toothpaste rabbit hole and like what it could potentially do to
hormone disrupting, starting puberty early, all these

(01:06:19):
different things that I and I got that information on TikTok
and I was at the dentist and I asked our dentist, it's like,
Hey, there's this alternative that I saw recommended by a
dentist on TikTok. Does this dentist sell said
toothpaste that he's promoting? Yes, but that's irrelevant.
OK. And it was an alternative.

(01:06:40):
It's called hydroxyapatite is the active ingredient or main
ingredient or whatever. And it's an alternative to
fluoride and whatever it's supposed to re mineralize teeth.
And and if you look it up like this is not just like one person
saying it. And I'm like, great, awesome.
Like it's everywhere. And I said it to him and he was
like, yeah, I mean, I've heard of it.

(01:07:01):
And there's no data on it whatsoever.
There's like this much data. So you can use it, it won't
hurt, but like not using a fluoride toothpaste.
Might hurt. Your child's teeth.
You're right. And I was like, this is
embarrassing because I can't saylike my dentist friend, I have
to say the the stranger on the Internet.
That also sells this product andwill get money for me buying it.

(01:07:23):
Right. By the way, we still do own it
and I use it in between when Brooke's like or whatever.
What did she say? Brush teeth, brush teeth, Brush
teeth, yes. And then I'll put that on
because, you know, it's not likemedicine, like fluoride is where
you could spit it out. So I've done the same thing.
I'm done the same thing. I bet so many people have done
that. Yeah, since you mentioned it in
our last episode, I'm so anxiousnow that I have not taken Penny

(01:07:47):
to the dentist and or brushed her teeth.
I need to brush her teeth. I don't understand with what?
Just water? There's no way that I give her
toothpaste. No, right?
No, the answer is yes, you do brush her teeth with just water.
I don't know. That's where my knowledge does
start to get a little fuzzy. So check with your pediatrician
and then ask your pediatrician what her recommendation is on

(01:08:11):
when to see the dentist because some will say like 3 months
after their first teeth and thensome people will say by their
first birthday. I've gotten different advice
from different actual real life pediatricians who see my
children, not people on the Internet in this case.
So I've gotten different advice.So ask your pediatrician that
they recommend. I would.
Just see my pediatrician again until the end of the month.

(01:08:34):
So like, am I gonna rot her teeth out if I don't do anything
until then? No, no.
Of. Course not.
Of course not. And I think, hey, listen, I'm
not a professional, but I think that the biggest concern is when
they get molars and things startto get stuck in their molars and
if you like give them added sugar or you know, copious
amounts of fruit and crackers and stuff like that.

(01:08:55):
So no, certainly, certainly not.But but definitely just if
you're feeling anxious about it,just write to her and ask once
you recommends it. Yeah, that's true.
OK, then you can get some. All right, I'll do that.
Because I've never had a cavity.I don't want my negligence to
make it so that Penny has bad teeth.
Never. Had a gun good for.
You No, I don't like needles. I did literally everything I

(01:09:18):
could to not have to get lidocaine in my mouth.
OK. All right.
That's fair. I'll lay off.
And Yep, Yep, All right. What are your final thoughts?
My final thoughts are that we got lots of sidebars, went off
on tangents, and I prefer it that way.
Me too, me too. The best content happens when we

(01:09:43):
do that, and I also think that it's relevant in ways it feels
more natural. Like I liked this episode
significantly better than our last one.
Good. I like when you say that.
I know you're always looking forlike that from me.
I think I don't mind it. I like that it makes you feel

(01:10:05):
better about things to someday and probably not.
Maybe we'll do it tomorrow when we hang out.
Cuz I we're gonna hang out tomorrow.
We're gonna hang out in like 10 hours.
We're gonna hang out today. Basically.
Seriously, it's after midnight. It's gonna be in about two
minutes. So I would be very curious for
you to rank the episodes in likeones you've liked to ones you

(01:10:25):
didn't like. We'll talk about that tomorrow.
But either way, I'll do that. Right?
Very much liked the sidebars. I've thought this conversation
was much more natural. I like this system of us like
having a topic that we don't preplan, whether it's something we
both bring something to the episode or we switch on and off
weeks. Yeah.

(01:10:46):
I think so too. Yeah, when we have our meeting
in two weeks, we can come up with like a do we want to both
bring something or do we want toswitch on and off.
I think next episode we need to do the one about like, taking
care of friends postpartum and like supporting new moms because
we've been asked for that one. Yeah, OK, I'm cool with that.
But yeah, I do agree. I like it when we're just like

(01:11:08):
it's more conversational. I feel a lot of pressure and I
feel a lot of nerves. And we have a topic because,
yeah, I don't know, I can fly off the cuff when we don't.
And I feel like our conversations go better and
we're, you know, funnier. And it's more like we're.
Having more fun. At least I'm having more fun.
And here's the thing, I think that we should ride if we both

(01:11:28):
agree on stuff like this, I feellike what's there to lose?
Like it's not like we're going to have thousands of people
telling us that they hit our podcast now.
Like might as well we have to dowhat we like to do.
Because otherwise, if we're, if we just continue on this path
because it's what we've been doing, then we're shortly or
very soon going to get to a point where we're like, isn't.

(01:11:49):
Not liking it? Yeah.
OK, totally unrelated, but I have to tell you, You want to
hear the worst freaking thing that happened today?
This morning, Taylor's getting ready for work.
I was playing with Petny in the living room.
Taylor is very much a talk to himself kind of person.
So to be very honest, when he's just talking, like I ignore him

(01:12:09):
when he's in the bathroom because like 9 times out of 10
he's talking to himself. I'll say what was that?
And he'll be like, oh nothing. So I don't even ask anymore.
So he was in there and he used adifferent word, but he said Dang
it. He came out and I was like, what
was that? He was like I dropped my Cologne
and I was like, no, you did not.He broke almost a full glass

(01:12:30):
bottle of Cologne in our bathroom and my entire house
smells like Calvin Klein. I love being fragrance free or
she says. Seriously, I'll never get the
smell out of my nose. You can't.
Sell your house anytime soon? Seriously.
Some people bake cookies, some break their Cologne.
Smells like Calvin Klein in here.

(01:12:50):
That's unfortunate. Very, very unfortunate.
That's so funny. Fragrance for everything,
meanwhile. Yeah, no.
Meanwhile, I can't walk in the bathroom because my the bottoms,
my feet will soak up all the cans are damn it.
Yeah, that's a bomb. Yep.
It's disgusting. Yeah, so was dying over here.

(01:13:13):
Burke broke candle yesterday. Actually I was letting her walk
around with a glass candle. Nice.
Why not? I don't know.
I would never let my first born child do that at that age in my
second. I mean, whatever.
And she's walking around the. Cabbage.
It's the girl. Off the toilet with no hands.
Just no hands to catch her. Insane.
Don't put her down for athletic sports.

(01:13:35):
Apparently I. Don't know.
Reaction time not good. I don't know.
Yeah. What's the question though?
Like the question should be like, what the what were you
doing, Megan? Like, I don't know.
What do you. I don't know.
I was sitting down and my I was,I was physically in the room,
but mentally not. And she needed me and I was not

(01:13:56):
there. No.
I was letting her walk around with a candle and I hear
shatter. I was in my bathroom and she is
in this bathroom. I hear shatter and I apart from
when I ran to get the glasses and jacks embarked in that one
episode, I'd never run. I haven't run that fast since
like 6th grade track. That's true.

(01:14:17):
I wasn't tracking 6 here. And yeah, glass everywhere.
No. That's terrifying.
Terrifying. Thankfully, though, it's easy
clean up. You you have a pickle on your
hand. Yep, I'll keep everybody
updated, hopefully next week on our next episode.
It does not still smell like Cologne in your.
No snow, Yeah. All right, ready?

(01:14:39):
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(01:15:03):
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