Restricting Internet Access With Your Teens: When Did You/When Will You With The Momsense Moms

This week the women start by appreciating Inez and discussing the embarrassing new bodily function that has been happening since having kids. They review their afternoon together with their girls and Meg’s gray cloud. 

The ladies review their Enneagram results. To no ones surprise Meg was a Type 2: The Helper and to EVERYONES surprise so was Molly. The ladies discuss what describes a Type 2 and how they relate to the description.  UPDATE: Molly is actually a Type 3w2 (point for Megan) and Megan is a Type 6 (point for Molly). So the Enneagram section of this podcast is now for entertainment purposes only. lol.

Molly and Meg then get into their topic for this episode where they discuss when they did certain things with their girls and when they plan to do others. These topics include breastfeeding, starting solids, taking away pacifiers, potty training, removing in-room monitors, moving the kids into their own rooms or moving them out of their cribs, getting them into their first extracurricular activity, make-up, having the dreaded period talk, as well as rules around dating and cell phones.

Join Molly and Meg as they discuss our ideal situations for the future and how we fully expect those plans to implode!

Thanks for joining us this week! Don’t forget to quarter your kids grapes.

Episode Transcript

(00:10):
Welcome back to the Mom Sense podcast with Molly and Meg.
I am Molly. And I'm Meg.
OK, I've got several things to update you on, but first, my
mom's here. We're very excited.
She's a lifesaver. Yeah.
When she come. She got here yesterday and she's
here. She was here yesterday, today
and then tomorrow we're going tothe zoo and going to her house

(00:33):
after that. Hey, that's good, good, good.
That's good for you. And why, why does the zoo keep
turning out to be your activity of choice lately?
It's so funny. Because I can't think of any
other I know, I can't think of any other activities.
I mean, I get it. What are you going to do, Bring

(00:55):
her? Yeah.
No, I get it. That's fair.
I can't either. Yeah, that and then we do go for
walks into the parking lot. I just don't think that I hit on
that because it seems so mundanebecause we just sit on a blanket
and the grass for 30 minutes. But yeah, the zoo is
reoccurring. I just keeps popping up.

(01:15):
Are you staying up there for theweekend?
Yeah, we are going up to my mom's house for the weekend
after that. And then the other update that I
have for you is that I had a friend text me yesterday after
our episode came out about how much she loved the episode.
It was very nice to hear her saythat.
And also she's a really good friend of mine.
Like we hang out quite a bit. We see each other all the time.

(01:37):
And I didn't know that she listened.
Like she made a comment about ita while ago but I didn't know
she was like a every episode kind of listener.
That's so nice that support is. Like it was.
Really appreciated. Really, really appreciated.
Yeah, because we've said it before, but like, this is a lot
of work and it's hard. So I think that it's nice to

(01:57):
hear that people are enjoying it, you know?
I completely agree. Yeah.
The other thing is we met for our podcast meeting this month
and we were just chatting about this thing that happens to both
of us. And I'm very curious if it
happens to other moms. Prior to having Penny, I was not
a super sweaty person. I would sweat when it's 90°

(02:17):
outside or when I was exercising, but I wouldn't just
sit in my house that's air conditioned and sweat.
And I feel like, and since I've had Penny, I sweat a lot, like a
lot a lot. And I don't understand why that
is. But then you walked into the
coffee shop and you were like, are you sweating?
And at that time, what was it? And you're like, you just whip

(02:39):
out a stick of deodorant. You're like, I carry this
everywhere. It's for the greater good.
Honestly, it was doing it for your sake.
It was so funny. I came home and told my mom
about that. I don't know those people.
I'm never gonna see them again. I mean, I tried to be discreet
about it. Don't act like I was just like I
like I covered. Yeah.

(03:00):
But yeah, I know I had to. I had to.
Now, if I wear dark shirts and Ihave a long car ride, I have to
like, position myself on center console.
I'm just like airing myself out.It's funny though, and I don't
think it's just a you thing. Like I think a lot of moms
experienced this, so I think it's funny.
No, I can hear the comments already.
Everyone's gonna be like, yeah, I experienced that initially

(03:20):
when I was postpartum, but then it went away.
Well, didn't go away from me. Me either.
Me either. OK, so I took Penny to hang out
with you and your girls on Friday.
With my girls, Penny, just like she hangs very well, it seems.
Of course she's going to have her outlier moments.
I'm not trying to paint a picture that she's always
perfect, but when strumming, she's always perfect.

(03:42):
And her and Brooke, you came over to our house and we hung
out for a little while, went to a lunch that lasted way too long
because the wait staff is kind of so unfortunately.
So. Yeah, it's tough with kids.
That's why I complain. If it was just us, it would have
been fine because we could have sat and chatted and not a big
deal. But anyways, you guys ended up
coming. You came back here after and

(04:03):
hung out for a while. And Penny.
And Brooke. Played it off.
Together, like, so cute. We're handing toys to one
another, played right next to each other.
If Penny moved, Brooke would letgo and position herself right
next to her. Who's so cute?
Like you and I were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great.
That picture that we took, neither of their faces are in

(04:26):
it. We should totally post that,
yeah. OK.
Because that's cute. And it's very like, just imagine
the mom cheerleaders behind the camera right now.
Yeah, we're thrilled. We're.
Be cool, be cool. I think that about Brooke every
time. Like don't mess this up.
Be a little weirdo that it's funny.

(04:47):
So yeah, we had a really good, busy, rewarding week.
I'm very happy with it. Good, you needed that.
I know, I thought so too. This week's been.
It's been getting better. OK, good.
Penny's teeth have broken through both both.
Up top. Yep.
I'll tell you she'll be. So yeah, I do think that that
has helped inch in their way down, but they've cut the skin.

(05:10):
So I think that that's helped a lot with her just general
fussiness. Good.
Yeah, I would imagine so. Right.
Yeah, give me your update have. I done OK.
I mean, I already kind of gave the update.
You kind of gave my update too, which is that you came over on
Friday. Saturday we went up to my
grandparents house, is that right?
I think so. And that was really nice.

(05:32):
We went out in the boat, the girls swam and it was super
sweet. We had dinner up there.
We stayed up pretty late. I got another crack in my
freaking windshield again. Insane.
Insane. It's been a month since I got it
fixed because I cracked it on the way to see you last time and
then I cracked it the day beforeI saw you this time.

(05:54):
These podcast meetings are not good for you.
No or your car. The Gray cloud that I've been
talking about is continued because also my brand new 2025
Honda CRV. Watch everyone take those cars
suck. It's been great so far.
Not even a year old. We got it last October.
It's making the loudest noise all of a sudden.

(06:15):
Now I have to go get it checked and praying that they'll be
like, yeah, this is covered under a warranty, no problem.
It should be loud. I mean, I've, I don't know, I'm
panicked about it. Panicked because it has 15,000
miles on it. Yeah.
So anyways, the Gray cloud over my head continues.
But knock on wood, usually I, regardless of the circumstance,

(06:38):
big or small, does not matter, Iwill stress constantly until
that thing is resolved. Like I told you, I had to talk
on the phone with the Michigan Treasury, whatever department,
because they sent me a ridiculous bill for 2024 taxes
for a business that was dissolved in 2023.

(06:59):
And I sent in the paperwork. They said they didn't get it.
There's no paper trail. So I had to get on the phone
with them. That ended up working out really
well. Thank God I didn't stress about
it because I got it on the phone.
And he literally sweet Lupe was like, just so you know, you can
disregard that. And I was like, is there a way
that I can get confirmation of you saying those words to me in
that order? Because I'm scared of your

(07:21):
letters and I don't want anymore.
Yes, the IRS is the scariest government entity.
So. So scary and every time I call
them I'm like be cool, don't incriminate yourself, don't say
anything insane. It's scary because it's like if
I forgot to carry the decimal onmy tax form, am I going to be in

(07:41):
Max security prison? I'm scared.
Right, right. No, that's exactly what I'm
saying. Anyways, I talked to him and he
was just like, no, disregard that.
Bill, We did get your letter. I see it's processed here.
Here's the confirmation number. And yeah, you're going to get a
letter in the mail next week. I'm seeing it's going to tell
you that your bill is actually zero and you're good to go.

(08:02):
And I'm like, OK, very good. Awesome.
Lupe, I'm so we'll, we'll call you back if I don't get it.
Yeah, I'll ask for you by name. I wrote it down, of course.
I wrote every every single detail down.
I called you at 8 O3 AM 36 seconds past the minute that's.
20. Anyways, that's good to go.

(08:22):
But my whole point of even bringing that up is just that
like, usually that would happen and I would be like, I couldn't
even formulate a sentence over the weekend.
I would be so anxious about it. And like I said to you, and we
walked into that really strange little shop in East Lansing, I
was like, whatever, it'll workout.
I forgot which one you're talking about.
I thought you were talking aboutthe scary bookstore.
I was like, if you sneeze wrong,these bookshelves are coming

(08:44):
down on you and you'll never getout of these 1970s
encyclopedias. Yes, yeah.
We walked into a bookstore store.
For everyone else who's wondering, after we're done with
our meeting, we're attempting tojust like, browse and shop or
whatever. And we walked into the store,
and the only way I can describe it to you is it's like Grandpa
had a hoarding problem and everybody didn't want to deal

(09:04):
with it at Grandpa's house in case Grandpa kicked the bucket.
So they're like, you know what you should do?
You should. Open a store.
Yeah. And it's like it was not
organized in any way. It was rough and the floor was
lined with boxes unpacked boxes of books from the 50s.
I don't know how to look throughthat.
No, right. Me either.

(09:25):
If if this sounds cool to you guys because you are book lovers
like us, like we love books, too.
It was not cool at all. It like smelled like mothballs.
It was very. It was very strange.
Yeah. Yeah.
I hope his business is thriving now.
I wish him well. Anyways, I'm at ease.
I don't know what it is. I have no idea.
I hope. It's.
Very nice, blissful. OK, so wait, you saying you

(09:49):
saying I'm at ease, blissful, blah blah.
It reminded me that when I'm like worked up and like
frustrated about something or overwhelmed, Taylor will look at
me and go goose from and I want to punch him.
Do you know what that's from? No, I have no idea.
It's from a stupid movie. Let me look it up because I
don't remember the movie. Do you know, do you know what's

(10:11):
really interesting to me? I, I know Taylor.
I've. Met.
Oh, it's from anger management. OK.
Is that? It's Adam.
Sandler or OK, yeah, I've met Taylor so many times.
I know Taylor, right? But sometimes you tell me things
that comes out of his mouth. And if you were to say the
phrase and be like, who said this phrase?

(10:32):
Was it person ABC or D or Taylor?
I would never choose Taylor for some of these things.
No, wild. Yeah.
In private, Taylor is unhinged. Like, unhinged.
He probably spent 15 minutes in the mirror to make me laugh this
morning, going like this with his hair, like, fingers and
then, like, fluffing it out so that it's like a fluffy Afro.

(10:52):
And then came out and was like, Molly, look at my hair.
OK, so. OK, so yeah, black cloud,
whatever my anxiety is just disappeared magically, I guess.
And what else? This Sunday, I saw you.
We've seen Reese's best friend multiple times this week, which
has been really nice. I think I've told you that I

(11:15):
really, really love talking to her great grandpa.
She's really. Cool.
So yeah, we went to the library with them one day and then
yesterday went to a foam party, which is like the closing event
for the summer reading program. And Reese, her best friend, her
best friend's little sister, they all go enjoy the foam
party. And Brooke like doesn't want

(11:35):
anything to do with it. One of the librarians who we're
friends with went and got like ahandful of it and brought it to
Brooke. And Brooke just her new thing is
crossing her arms, going, throwing her head down.
So she had no wanted no part of it.
So I put a blanket out for her. They had a snow cone truck.
So I went and got not a snow cone.
I'll explain that in a second. But I got her a bag of chips,

(11:56):
which, Yum. Anyways, she has never had those
before, but she loved them. And she sat on the ground.
And I took a video of all the probably 100 kids playing in the
foam party. And I panned down to my child
just sitting on a blanket popping and lays in her mouth.
Even the lady who was running the party was like, she's really
patient. She just sat there and waited.

(12:17):
And I was like, she had a bag ofchips.
She knows where her priorities lie.
Yeah, she's. Mine.
Yeah, she was good to go. Good.
She's so funny. She is.
She's really funny. Which.
Oh, yeah. OK, this is worth saying.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than when somebody
from the older generation and older generation asks you a

(12:37):
question and you have to say something out loud, words to
them that you know is very new and have them.
I'll just tell you what he did. So Reese and Brooke both wanted
a snow cone. I have seen on the news maybe
two articles, right? Not a lot of data, but that's
enough for me that there's a syndrome that kids have been
getting from slushies and, and and snow cones that have a

(13:01):
particular thing in them, glycerin, and that's not right.
It starts the G, it's a glycer or something.
And there's a symptom they've been getting.
And so I'm like, I don't, I'm not going to sit here and
research it. I'm just going to say no.
Like that's a safe bet. Right.
Yeah. And he goes, he goes, hey, can I
get the girls? He always asks.
He's really sweet. He's like, can I get all the
girls? A snow cone.
And I like, I'm going to say something to you and I'm

(13:24):
embarrassed to say it and I needyou just to listen to me.
And I tell him I did. You say that out loud.
Yeah, he doesn't. Even love that just.
Looks at me completely deadpan, like, you idiot, so nice.
He didn't, he didn't push me. He was just like, OK, how about
ice cream? And I'm like, yeah, that works.
OK, it's called slushy. Slushy sickness, or glycerol

(13:44):
intoxication, is a condition that can affect young children
who consume large amounts of slush ice drinks, particularly
those containing glycerol, an additive used to create the
slushy texture. Symptoms include drowsiness, low
blood sugar and severe cases loss of consciousness.
Tell me you see see and they don't recommend it for kids

(14:04):
under 7 now is the recommendation.
But please tell us your source because I don't want anyone to
think you went to like Crunchy Mama blog.com.
It's just that Where did you seethat AI on Google?
It's enough for me. Shouldn't be, but it is.
I'm on board. I think that there's also dyes
in the slushy, like in the sugarstuff.

(14:24):
I wouldn't have given it to Penny either.
I also hate snow cones with a passion.
I think they're disgusting. I think they are.
Too. And Brooke freaking loved her
chips. Loved them.
Yeah. I don't know if she's ever had
lays before. When I do give her lays, like I
make her eat the baked ones. So she probably felt like she
was having a party for one. So anyways, so we did all that

(14:45):
and then Speaking of Brooke, we transitioned her over to big
girl bed and she's done so well.My theory is that because our
children, neither of them were the kids that crawled out of
their crib, they they just have associated when we leave the
room with you in bed, you stay in bed.
That's all they've ever known. So because of that, Brooke,

(15:06):
knock on Wood so far has not attempted the coming out thing.
And Reese never did either exception one time when my aunt
was over. And so, yeah, so far, so good.
Although I sent you a picture this morning because, yeah, Colt
and I, we were sitting on the couch and chatting and he
clicked on the monitors to checkon Brooks because we will do
this thing where we talked abouthow cute that they are and

(15:27):
whatever. Duh, we do it too.
Looks. And his, his face totally drops
and he turns the monitor to me and he's frozen because she's
out of bed on the floor and her head's got to be like an inch
from the wall. She's her feet are, I think her
feet were on like the extra shamdecorative pillows or whatever.

(15:48):
Then I was like, I have to, I have to go down and check on her
to make sure she's all right. So I go down and pick her up and
I'm like, are you OK? Completely fine.
And then I asked her when she woke up.
I'm like, did you crawl out of your bed last night or did you
fall? And she goes, I don't know.
I was like, OK, guess I'll neverknow either.

(16:08):
I got it. I don't know, I pushed jumpers
up tonight so she should be goodto go now anyways.
Otherwise, everything's going good.
That was funny when you texted it to me.
I could just imagine, like, clicking it on and your eyes
always go right to where they'resleeping, right?
Like, for you guys on the bed and not seeing her, I would have
panicked. And then, like, you can clearly

(16:29):
see she's laying on the floor. But yeah.
Yeah. But she's like, I don't know.
That's so funny. So she said I don't know.
And I was like, all right. I love her.
That's it for me though in my updates.
OK, well, Megan and Colton took the enema test.
What's it called? I don't know.
It's like a personality test thing.

(16:51):
And then she said I had to take it.
She wanted to know if I was the number that she thought I was,
so then I took it. So we're going to review our
results. However, OK, one of us has to
explain the test and it's not mebecause I call it an enema.
OK, hang on. OK, so brief overview of the
Enneagram test. For those who don't know, it is

(17:14):
a series of at least the one we took.
It's like 100 and I don't know, 100 and something.
Questions. Eighty 180.
OK, 180 questions. Damn, that sucks.
You had to take it twice. I had to take it twice.
Because she told me that she gotall the way to the end and then
it just like doom loaded and shecouldn't get her results.

(17:35):
I was like honestly at this point you should sue your Wi-Fi
company because this is a crime.Like they are taking your money
out of your pocket and giving you nothing.
I know and then I refreshed and it was like 0 out of 180
completed and I was like I'm doing this tomorrow I'm over it
but throw my phone through the wall.
I want to anyway Somali took it twice.

(17:58):
OK so the Enneagram is a personality typing system that
describes 9 interconnected personality types, each with
distinct core motives, fears, and desires.
It's used for personal growth, understanding oneself and
others, and improving relationships.
The anagrams origins are rooted in ancient spiritual traditions

(18:20):
and are also influenced by psychology and somatics.
So you take this test talking toany questions in our case, and
it will give you a number one through 9.
This is what you are. And then it'll also give you a
wing. So it'll be like you're a
number. I'm just going to say one,
you're #1 and you're a wing 2. And then you can use that
information to learn about yourself.

(18:41):
And it'll give you information. I'm like, this is you at your
healthiest, and this is you whenyou're at your own healthiest.
And this is you. When you're somewhere in that,
in the middle range, it'll it'lltell you all about yourself.
So we did that. Colton and I both did it.
And then, yeah, I said to Molly,have you ever taken this?
And are you blank? Because I'm really confident
that you are blank. And she was like, no, but I'll

(19:04):
take it. So we're going to figure out if
I'm right right now. We should.
You should guess what mine is. OK, do.
You think? OK, so first I will disclose
that like I read what the numberthat I am, but I didn't go
through what that means. So I'll learn with you guys what
that means. OK, so you wanted me to go
through what all of the types are.

(19:24):
Yeah. OK, so type 1 is a
perfectionist, Type 2 is the helper.
Type 3 is the achiever. Type 4 is the individualist.
Type 5 is the investigator. Type 6 is the loyalist.
Type 7 is the enthusiast. Type 8 is the challenger, Type 9

(19:45):
is the peacemaker. Trying to think of.
OK, so let me think of who I think you are.
I think you, there's actually several that I think that you
could be. So I guess I'm, I think you're
Type 6, the loyalist. What a compliment.
No, I'm not. Are you a type?
Are you a type 2, the helper? Yes, I am a Type 2.
Yeah, yeah, Type 2, Wing one. All right, so where do you see

(20:08):
your wing? Because I don't see mine.
You gotta scroll very low. Very, very.
Very OK. Yeah, yeah, I'm a 2 and I feel
like two fits me perfectly, likemy healthiest.
I'm like, really, I'm wanting tobe incredibly helpful.
I'm very motivated by not being a burden and being beneficial to

(20:32):
other people. And I'm also very motivated by
other people, like feeling positively about me and sharing
that positivity. And then I'm my unhealthiest.
I'm brook loosed and don't like the whole thing is that you
don't really share a lot about yourself.
You're like more into other people.
And then the perfectionist wing I think is me to a tee as well.

(20:52):
Like I will spend forever just like, yes, adjusting font on
something. Yeah, it's not a healthy way.
Like, oh, everything I do turns out really nice.
It's like an I feel anxious about it and I can always do
better kind of thing. So hit the nail on the head for
me. Can I guess your feel very
passionately that you're probably a type 3 which is the

(21:13):
achiever, ambitious and adaptable, but now I'm nervous
that I'm wrong. Why do you think you're wrong?
I don't know because I'm not picking up on much from you.
Usually I feel like I would be able to pick something up, but.
What do you think? What would your second guess for
me be? 1 or 1:00 or 8:00.
What's 8? Self confident and assertive.

(21:34):
But what's the the? The Challenger, OK.
OK, you will be shocked because I was shocked.
I don't think this like portraysme at all.
OK, it says that I'm the helper.I mean, I think.
No, I'm not. I think you're empathetic and
generous, yeah. But I don't, I don't think that

(21:55):
I'm not motivated by people liking me.
I feel like I I seek that out. I don't think you do either, but
that's. Why I, yeah, I thought that
like, I guess reading through it, like I could see a little
bit of myself, like, I'm a therapist, right?
So of course I care about people's feelings and how
they're doing. But I, yeah, I just don't think

(22:17):
that I'm like, other people don't motivate me, right?
Like I'm fairly motivated on my own.
Can I tell you something that came to mind?
You can cut this if if you don'tlike how this lands or feels OK.
But there was a episode, it was the birth episode.
And you had said that you did not report the nurse because you

(22:38):
were like, I don't feel like it's my responsibility to look
after everyone else's experience.
Like to me, it's very not like a2.
And I've never not related to a statement, more like.
Yeah. I would be like, I don't want
anyone else to ever experience this.
You were just like very confident on the matter.
And I was like, I don't relate to that.

(22:58):
You're very, I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, I was shocked because I didn't think that I was a 2, but
I'm a Wing 3, so. OK, I'll take that.
Yeah, cuz you're definitely ambitious.
Yeah, yeah. I didn't read through any of
like what these things mean other than the first couple

(23:19):
sentences of what a 2 is. So let me read that.
Let me get to it. So it says type 2IN depth.
Your results indicate that your dominant Enneagram type is a
type 2. As a type 2 personality, also
known as the helper, your main focus is on building and
maintaining relationships with others.
OK. I would say that's accurate.
I think it's accurate for you too.

(23:40):
Yeah, like relationships with others I do think is like
breathe life into me. So I do agree with that.
You have a strong ability to empathize and connect with
others and you enjoy helping them and making them feel
valued. That's true too.
However, it can be more challenging for you to turn
inward and focus on your own needs and desires.

(24:01):
I think that's false. Like I think that I'm fairly
self aware and I know that I'm not the best version of me
unless my needs and desires are taken care of.
So I do prioritize those. So I think that that's not me.
I think that's you. That's.
Definitely me. Yeah, you may sometimes alter
your behavior or personality in order to win the approval of

(24:22):
those around you. That is not me.
You may also use your connections, helpfulness and
ability to earn favor in order to avoid rejection and feel more
secure in your relationships. I disagree with that.
So like, I do think that there'sa few things, like the next one
is you are skilled at reading the moods and preferences of
those around you and adapting tofit in with them.

(24:42):
So I mean, I think I'm good at reading moods and preferences,
but I just don't know how well. I mean, I don't know if I adapt
to fit in with them. Maybe I think of myself very
differently than I actually am. That's what this makes me feel
and I don't like that. Yeah, I wouldn't like that
either. You may also experience
emotional turmoil as you try to balance your desire to be
helpful and pleasing with your own needs and feelings.

(25:04):
You may struggle to to express your anger, sadness, or other
negative emotions and may try toput on a happy face in order to
be liked. Amen.
Preaching of the choir. OK.
Yeah, yeah. So I just don't think it's
encompasses me very well. Yeah, I agree.
I mean like, yeah, I don't, I don't feel like you have like
people pleaser tendencies. I think in place of that you

(25:28):
show a lot of self-confidence. I think that this is a lot of
people pleasing and I don't see that in you.
Yeah, but the when it says careers or a type 2, it says
you'd be happiest in a job that allows you to connect with
others and make a difference in their lives.
So. It lists therapists.
Literally therapists is on there, yeah.
Yeah, I say all the time that I thought I would have gone into

(25:50):
something like I when I was working at the veterinary office
is my favorite job of my entire life.
Yeah. I adored that job and I always
think like if I would have gone into something, any of the
things are listed here, that I would be, I would have enjoyed
careering a lot more than I did and just marking.
Yeah. All right.
Interesting. I'm definitely not what you

(26:12):
thought I would be, not what I thought I would be.
No. But I'm going to take it again.
I think you should. I, I, I really believed that you
were a three. And if you are a three, it says
as a type 2 you might find that you're most compatible with type
threes. So.
I didn't say that. Yeah, right.
We'd have similar if you are three.
We'd have similar interests, energy levels and the charisma.

(26:33):
That's why we are so good as Co hosts.
I think so too, and probably andwhy we've maintained friendship
for eons, yeah. I just feel like if we were both
type twos, both people, people pleasers are planning sessions
would just go around in circles and circles like what do you
think? No, what do you want to do?
What do you want to do? Yeah, no, that's what I do.

(26:54):
That would be terrible. OK, I'm going to, I'm going to
put the kibosh on this and I'm going to make the decision.
Thank God. Thank God.
Well, I'm underwhelmed. Any other updates?
To move my office around. I noticed because mine's not the
only like background with a thing in it.
Yeah, yeah. Well, I left my my office used

(27:16):
to be in Brooks Room downstairs.And then when we moved her from
this room down there. Hi.
Looks like I'm not moving the shelf and all that stuff.
Whatever. I can use it for a bookshelf.
Yeah. So I got a lot of my stuff back,
which is nice. Yeah.
That is no, no other. No other updates I don't think.
All right, well then let's move on to mentally healthy moms.
We're going to share things thatwe did for ourselves this week

(27:38):
because we think that every week, if we commit to doing
something for ourselves, that makes us more patient, happier,
and a better mom to our girls. So I feel like I did a lot of
things for myself this week, notnecessarily by myself, but like
on Tuesday we went to go see my sister-in-law and that really
refilled my cup because I got tohang out with her for a while,

(27:58):
talk about mom's stuff. But then just, you know, chat.
I have my mom here helping, which refills my cup.
She constantly reminds me that she's there and that I can take
breaks, and I told her a week ago that I really needed to go
get my toes done, but when the time comes, the thing that I
want to do least is go spend 2 hours getting my toes done.

(28:19):
So I put Penny down for her nap this morning and she urged me to
go do that. So I went and got a pedicure
today. Read like 50 pages of my book.
Good. For you, what color did you get?
Like a light blue I. Have a light blue on right now.
It's very unlike me, I always get a dark color.
Yeah, I usually do like a nudie pink or just something very

(28:42):
boring and mundane. And I have the skyish blue right
now, actually. It's like brighter than a sky
blue. And then prior to this I had
like a orangish red and I loved that.
I'm going back to that after this.
I don't know. Something's in the air.
Cool. Yeah, awesome.
And you read 50 pages of your book.
That's very impressive. What's the book you're reading
again? Yeah.

(29:03):
Part of Your World by Abby Hemenez.
Okay. And what are your thoughts so
far? So far, I like it.
I think it's cute. Like it's a little like I think
it's cute. It is not like Carly Fortune, I
told you, very huge. It's.
Carly Fortune. It's good.
I mean it's not like raunchy by any means, but the spicy scenes

(29:23):
are spicy. Gotcha.
Yeah, Abby Heminez isn't like that.
I told you that reading part of your world right next to the
other romances is probably not going to do any favors to part
of your. World I do.
I do like it. Like I think it's really cute
and the storyline so far, I think is sweet.
The also just finishing, not just finishing.
I probably have, I don't know, alittle bit left, but I'm

(29:46):
listening to The Five Star Weekend by Ellen Hildebrand.
It's my first Ellen book and so far I'm really liking it.
OK yeah, so very good. Those are my 2.
I just, I started The Shining because me and my mom are both
going to read The Shining, but I'm only like 50 pages in.
So very slowly working on that one.
Was The Shining the one that they made a movie out of?

(30:07):
And there's like, the twins holding hands in the hallway.
OK, have fun with that. Yeah, yeah, I've never read a
horror book before, so little freaked out.
Yeah, I bet. What'd you do?
Similar to similar to you? I feel like I did a lot of stuff
in the last like week that has really charged recharged me.
We, like I said, went to the library.

(30:28):
I got to socialize. That was really nice.
And then on Tuesday, we skipped soccer and went to the art Barn,
which is where Reese had won herthe art prize thing at the
library. And her prize?
Was are we surprised? Oh.
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, she won a gift card to
that this art barn place, which is like, you can go and you pick

(30:51):
out a piece of pottery and you paint it.
It was so fun, except it was so hot.
Yeah, it was nice. We it's like over in Saugatuck.
And so we went into that. It was so ungodly hot.
And so Reese, like, tuckered outreally early in.
Neither of my you know what we should do.
He will. What's that?
We should go there for our next podcast meeting and paint mugs.

(31:15):
It's a great idea. But yeah, anyways, it was super
nice. And yeah, we did that instead of
going to soccer where we would have sat out in the heat at 94°
like I've, I'm like, no, thank you.
I can't believe they still had soccer.
How did they not cancel that? They have not canceled and it's
been like 94 every single practice.

(31:36):
Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah.
So I was like, we're not going to do that today.
It's going to be a no. And then, yeah, I've talked a
little bit about this, but I didpull the trigger on signing up
with an agency for travel planning.
I was going between 2:00 and I knew, I knew that I did not want

(31:58):
to go with like a large mega host.
I knew that I wanted to go with a smaller agency where I was
going to be able to connect withthe owner and actually like get
some hands on mentorship and learn from somebody.
Because if I was too detached and I was just watching training
videos and that was really it, Iprobably would have petered out.
And so I was going between 2:00 and they were like both awesome
in different ways. And like I've disclosed a

(32:21):
million times, I struggle with decisions.
Like I always think that there'slike a better option.
And so I will dive into something and try to learn
everything I possibly can about the two options or the ten
options, whatever it is, and waste so much time. 1 thought
about what you had said a few episodes back where it's like if
you were to flip a coin, I thinkit was flip a coin, right?
If you flip a coin and it lands on one of them and you like want

(32:45):
the other, then you know that you actually want the other and
just go with that. However, I don't know if that
would work for me like I still think I would.
I would struggle and do the backand forth.
So I looked up on TikTok best advice for making a decision and
it said it was this four minute video and this lady was like, so
a lot of times when we struggle with making decisions, what we
do is we think about all the possible negative outcomes.

(33:08):
Like, well, if I choose this one, they might not have AB and
C and so I'm losing out on that opportunity.
A lot of times if you struggle making decisions, you're
focusing on the negative. And so she said, slip the script
and think, if everything works out, if no matter what decision
I make, everything is going to go beautifully, which one do you
want? And the second that I phrased it
in that way, I was like, OK, I know which one I'm going to.

(33:31):
Go. I love that that worked for you.
That's incredible. It really did.
Yeah, it really did. I still like, I was sad, of
course, when I was contacting the other agency because I still
have a great feeling about them.But yeah, anyways, I started
with this other agency. I've been cruising through their
training and now I'm on to supplier training.
So I'm learning about the different suppliers are like the

(33:53):
companies, the places that you travel to.
So like Sandals is a supplier orlike any of the cruise ships or
Disney or Universal or whatever.So I'm going through all that
now and yeah, I'm really loving it.
So cool, so good. Yeah.
Fun. Yeah, I'm.
Really, it's exciting. So how much training do you
have? When do you expect to be done
with it? They quote six weeks, but the

(34:15):
vast, yeah, the vast majority ofpeople who go in to be a travel
agent, it's not a make money quick scheme.
You aren't going to get rich overnight.
It's a very much like a nurturedcareer.
And so a lot of people have fulltime jobs or whatever on the
side. So it, you know, six weeks, I
think it's what they say the average is.

(34:35):
I don't know exactly when it'll be done because I haven't got my
eyes on the second part of training, but I know that I'm
going incredibly fast. I finished first part of
training over the weekend and I'll be done with my first
supplier probably by Saturday. So going really quick and once
I'm done with the supplier and I've done CRM training, which is
client relationship management software, which I have extensive

(34:58):
experience with. They're all different, but I
used them in my business. I use them in past lives, other
career stuff like that. Then I'm you know, I'm good to
go so. Cool.
Yeah, I'm excited. You can plan our trips from now
on. Yeah, yeah, I could.
Because I'm actually like real sick of planning trips.
I'm actually really surprised tohear you say that because I

(35:19):
would have thought if anybody wouldn't want to hand over that
kind of stuff, it would be you. However, working with a travel
agent can be absolutely as collaborative as you want it to
be or as hands off as you want it to be.
And like Disney, for example, ifa new promotion comes out, say
you book your trip and a new promotion comes out, that is it
falls within the time you're going to travel, you can apply
that. So agents will monitor, save you

(35:41):
more money, and they'll get up early, early, early to book your
dining reservations, all that kind of stuff for you.
So like that kind of stuff you can hand over and not have to
have to bear that burden. So you can still like manage
your trip, but just do all the fun stuff.
Let them do all the stuff you don't want to do.
Sweet, that sounds so good. Yeah, there's definitely
benefits for especially for likeDisney and stuff like that.

(36:04):
Yeah, we don't need to talk about that again are.
You sure we can talk about it? Yeah, Yeah, no, but yeah, so far
so good. I'm really excited that I did.
This all right, this week I'm really excited about our episode
topic. We are going to do a when did
you slash? When will you episode meaning

(36:25):
when did you do this nondescriptmilestone or when do you expect
to introduce this nondescript milestone?
Of course, we have a 10 month old, a 2 year old and a five
year old, so we don't know when we'll do these things, but this
is just a fun game for us to play as far as like when we
think that we'll do these things.

(36:48):
I think it has a potential to befunny and spark up some
conversation because I don't know how you feel about some of
these things. Yeah, I think it has.
Yeah, I think so too. Also an episode where we don't
cry. But in my book, you just don't
want to cry. No crying.
OK, so first one, when did you stop breastfeeding?

(37:09):
The reason I stopped breastfeeding at four months and
then I continued on pumping. I don't recall how long, but it
was not very long. Yeah.
And that was really hard for me.And then with Brooke, I got to
14 months on the dot. Yeah.

(37:30):
Yeah, 14 months with Brooke, andthat was exclusively
breastfeeding, no pumping. Like the only time I pumped was
for Molly's Bachelorette party and Molly's wedding.
And that is because I had the luxury of staying home with her.
So yeah. What caused you to stop nursing
with Reese at four months? So I, unlike you, definitely

(37:53):
not, I don't have an oversupply.I've never with either.
Charlie did not have that. And with Reese I, it was the
pandemic, but I was home with her for my three months off and
then I started going back to work.
It was virtually and I was having a hard time keeping up
with the schedule and my supply was dipping in my job.

(38:15):
Like it's like a lot of corporate jobs where you're in
meetings all day long and you'relike, how do they expect us to
get any work done? So you know, I can't.
I mean, I could have probably pumped, but like I'm saying
across from male mortgage bankers and I just didn't like.
Yeah, no. So that's not the reason I
stopped, but it was a lot of stress.
I was not producing a ton and itcontinuously felt like I was

(38:39):
getting less and less and less because I was not maintaining a
schedule. And so because of that, I was
like, all right, like something's got to give.
Yeah. I mean, I don't think that you
need to explain yourself for whyyou didn't pump.
Most people say if it came down to pumping or not breastfeeding,
like I'd stop. So I don't think you need to
explain that at all. I would have kept going if I was

(39:02):
filling up bottles or even getting half, but each pump is.
Not worth it at that point. Yeah.
I would get like 2 on one side, 1 on the other.
Like it was, it was rough, Yeah.So that's not fair.
Yeah, that's a lot of work for not a lot of payout.
Yeah, and I'm with Brooke. Like like I said, I went for 14
months and I was happy with that.

(39:24):
So yeah, that's my experience. What about you?
OK. Yeah, so I stopped breastfeeding
entirely 2 days ago. I'm going on 48 hours of no
pumping, which I'm I in the lastweek have come to terms with
that decision and I'm feeling really good about it.
So good. There's no remorse there.

(39:45):
All right, So I nursed Penny anddid bottles until she was about
5 months. I would nurse throughout the day
and give one bottle before she fell asleep at night.
And then of course, if she woke up in the middle of the night, I
would nurse. She went through a few different
times, like 1 during four monthsand 1:00 during five months
where she like refused to latch.So then I had to pump for like a

(40:07):
few days, she just did bottles and then she would go back to
latching. And then around 5 1/2 months,
almost six months, she stopped latching entirely.
And I went to exclusively pumping.
So we were done. Nursing is just over 10 months
now, and I have so much frozen milk that she's still getting

(40:28):
breast milk. So she's still breastfed.
Just. I'm done.
Sure. Thank God.
Yeah. Yeah, so I'm going.
I have realized that I really should have, like didn't just a
quick, quick little Google search.
I did not know what I was in for.
Nothing that I do gives any relief.
So incredibly irritable that if anybody looks at me wrong, I

(40:50):
want to bite their head off. I took some ibuprofen tonight,
but. And I'm drinking peppermint tea
because I heard peppermint helpsdry up your milk.
I don't know. I'll try anything.
Yeah. I will also say really quick
that you do sound very confidentin your decision and like you're
feeling good with it. And I'm super happy to hear
that. That's great.
Me too. Like I feel good because I still

(41:11):
have frozen milk. So she's still getting it.
She's taking it just fine. I do have formula like on
standby for the couple oz I needto finish bottles or something.
And yeah, I mean, like, I'm feeling good about it.
I think that I'm going to feel better once my hormones kind of
even out. I think it's going to be a lot
better for me. Which will be better for her?

(41:31):
Yeah, good, good. I'm glad.
The next 1 is when did we start solids?
I started solids with Penny whenshe was probably like 4 1/2
months old and we started just with purees for like a month
before we did anything else. With Reese, I started at six
months like on the dot, and we started with just purees for a

(41:52):
while until I felt comfortable. And then with Brooke, we started
at four months, same thing, justwith purees.
But then we would start to add in like mashed things like very
quickly after, yeah. I think with baby #2 I'm going
to wait until six months. Do you?
Why? I think because solids are messy
and an extra thing you have to do and if she's sheer here,

(42:13):
whatever is tolerant with just milk, I'm I'm just going to
wait. I think I was overly excited to
start salads, but now I realize like if I could have got two
more months of just milk that would have been so much easier.
Yeah, I think that you're describing a lot of mom's
decision with their second child.
I think everyone likes to make ajoke that parents don't care and

(42:34):
they're just more delayed with their second child.
But a lot of times it's like, no, I figured out what was worth
it and what wasn't and whatever.So there's a lot of that that
happens with your second good too.
Exactly not that. Like she didn't take salads
well, she did great, but she would have been totally fine
doing just milk for another month or two.
Gotcha. Yeah.
OK, that makes sense. The next 1 is when did you take

(43:00):
away pacifiers? So with Reese, we took pacifiers
away at four months because it was becoming a huge headache.
We would have to go into her room 100 times a night to put
this pacifier back in. And at that point she was
starting to sleep through the night or sleep for extended
periods. And the second that we took the

(43:21):
pacifier away, she slept throughthe night or slept in longer
period of time. Right, right.
So it worked out for us and thenwith Brooke, I think we, if I
don't, if I recall correctly, weattempted not to use it.
This might be controversial. We attempted not to use one at
1st and then there were a few times where she was really

(43:45):
worked up or whatever. We just thought that it would be
like full to soothe and we attempted to give one to her and
she had no interest at that point.
Brooke never had pass a pacifier.
We never had to take a pacifier away.
Yep, Penny was never really a pacifier kid either.
I didn't want to introduce a pacifier, especially not for the
first few weeks because I wantedto establish a good latch while

(44:05):
breastfeeding. But because she was so small she
had to do a car seat test beforewe could leave the hospital and
the nurses gave her a pacifier so she took 1.
Then However, like we would occasionally try to introduce it
but it was like after one minuteor less she'd spit it right out.
So she was never able to latch onto the pacifier.

(44:26):
And I tried several different kinds.
She just never was really interested.
But she's a thumb sucker. Like she'd never, I never have
to had to take away a pacifier just because she didn't care,
didn't even notice when they were around.
But her thumb is in her mouth all of the time, so I do think
that trying to figure out a way to get her to stop sucking her
thumb at some point is going to be very hard for us.

(44:49):
Thumb is a lot harder to take away.
Yeah, it's it's a way harder to take away.
Brooke is not a thumb sucker. Reese sucked 2 fingers when she
was little and instead of she folds them backwards.
It's the most uncomfortable thing that I've ever seen, and
she has slowly dissipated. I'll catch her doing it still to
this day every once in a while, but she'll catch herself.

(45:12):
I probably see her do once everytwo months now when she's
absolutely exhausted or if she'sasleep.
But she was doing it all the time before.
So yeah, it's really hard. I hope that like.
Awful nail power. Figure shit out on her.
Yeah, yeah. Nothing worked for us.
It's just slow, yeah. I'm interested to see if how it

(45:36):
goes like overtime. OK, well the next 1 is when will
we potty train? Of course, we're going to kind
of follow her lead. I would prefer to do it in the
winter time because it's a lot easier like stay in the house
for a long time in the winter, which would put Penny at like 2

(45:56):
1/2. But I guess it just depends on
when she's ready. I want her to be very confident
and comfortable going on the potty before she goes to
preschool at 4:00, so I want to make sure we have lots of time
to adjust. Gotcha.
I feel like I run right. If you've listened for a while,
you know my answers to this. So with Brooke, we did it just
before 2, like a month or two before 2.

(46:18):
And then with Reese, we did it right around 3:00.
Yeah, just before 3. Next one is remove the monitor.
Megan of course has asked many times for people to weigh in on
when should you return remove monitor because she has a 5 year
old that still has the monitor and we need to know if that's
weird or not feels. I would say when I'm confident
in their sleeping habits, like they're going to sleep through

(46:40):
the night, they're not going to need me in the middle of the
night and they're not going to accidentally hurt themselves,
right? I would say that's probably when
I would take it out. I was talking about it with
Molly and she had suggested, because I still have a monitor
in there and like I said, she never needs us to go down there
for anything. She goes to the bathroom on her
own. She's not scared, not nothing.

(47:01):
There's no need for it. It's just my Peace of Mind.
Specifically in the morning, Molly was like, why don't you
just attempt to keep it just on Brooke or like do some sort of
like a titration, the word I'm looking for some sort of like,
sure. And that's what we've been
doing. And I don't think I spot it.
Like I've been joking to Molly that it's some sort of exposure

(47:22):
therapy and it's working. So, so I that that's where I am
with my oldest and hopefully I can get over this hurdle.
And then because I'm so self-conscious about this, I
will do it much sooner with Brooke.
We'll see. Or not.
Maybe she'll be 7. We'll see.
Yes, I need someone to wait likepeople to weigh in on the in the
comments. Like when did you take your your

(47:44):
toddlers monitor out? Because I do not think 5 is that
odd. Like I could see where you're
self-conscious. You're like, she does not need
it. We haven't needed to go down
there for her for X amount of time.
It's not necessary, but I think there are probably a ton of moms
that still have a monitor in at 5.

(48:05):
Yeah, OK. If you do comment and weigh in,
they'll be gentle with me because it's something that I'm
still currently doing. If it's something I've done in
the past, I can take, I can takeharsh criticism and I'll
probably laugh with you about it.
But because it's happening rightnow, I'm a little sensitive.
So be nice all. Right.
The next one is when are you going to move them to a big bed

(48:28):
and or their own room? So when did you stop room
sharing and when are you moving them to a big bed?
With the Reefs, we stopped room sharing after roughly a month,
if I'm not mistaken, and then weput her in her own room,
obviously, and we lived in a glorified shoebox.
So she was right down the hall. And then with Brooke, Brooke
went straight into her crib after we got home from the

(48:50):
hospital. We do not live in a glorified
shoebox now. However, her room was like my
body's length away from our room.
So yeah, that's how we did it. Then.
It worked out really well for us, Yeah.
What about a big bed? Reese got a big bed when she was
almost 3, which my understandingis kind of late.
Like I know a lot of people thatdo it a lot sooner and then

(49:12):
Brooke is turned to in April. So she just got hers.
And we, I don't know if this is worth sharing, but I will
briefly say that we don't transition over into toddler
beds for our kids because frankly we just don't want to
buy a million beds. It's expensive.
So we bought both of our girls full size beds and transition

(49:34):
them into that and then just putunder the sheet bumpers to keep
them from rolling out. Obviously not foolproof because
Brooke cleared it on the floor somehow last night.
But yeah, that's been our, that's been our approach.
OK so we room shared for like 6 months not because well I don't

(49:56):
want to say not out of choice wewanted to.
I don't know how I would have done it earlier but we were
having remodeling done too so she didn't even have her own
room for that long. At the four month appointment
the doctor said they recommend that you start thinking about
moving them into their own room and I thought that was wild in
my opinion. But like I'm glad we re room

(50:16):
shared for so long because I don't know.
I felt like it helped with our bonding situation because we
always woke up and like not always because clearly there
were times where I didn't want to be awake but I did feel like
those middle of the night moments were special when she
wasn't screaming her head off. OK, I would assume we would move
her to a big bed when our hypothetical next child needs

(50:39):
the crib. But it really depends on how
like old she is at that time. If the second child needing a
crib wasn't a factor that we would have to buy a second crib
anyway, I would wait until she like attempts to get out of the
crib. So like I think I'd wait quite a
while, probably till they're like 2 1/2 or almost three.
I agree, I think that I would hopefully just move them right

(51:01):
into like a full size bed and not do the buying a bunch of
mattresses. However, I would very much
consider doing a floor bed. So like a full size mattress but
on the floor, not raised yet. Yeah, sure.
I hope that Penny and your future child are similar to my
children, that they don't try tojailbreak their cribs because

(51:21):
like I said, tuning up. So I do believe that that
contributed to why both of my girls have stayed in their beds
and not tried to come out a million times.
Because you hear about that, howpeople like the first few weeks,
their first few nights or whatever, they're putting their
child back in their bed 100 times.
That sounds awful. That would be very annoying to
me and we never had to do that. Yes, hopefully in the same same

(51:42):
situation. I hope so.
OK the next 1 is when will you or did you have them in their
first extracurricular or like out of the house activity?
To be honest, I would do it pretty much as young as they're
able to. I know we'll do soccer.
I want to do dance with Penny. I want to try almost everything

(52:05):
and just see what she likes. I don't.
I don't really know. I haven't even looked into the
age recommendations. I would assume like 2, 2 1/2,
something like that. I think it would have to be a
little over 2 because I think that I think the stuff will
start in the spring after she turns 2.
So that would be like 2 1/2 for her.
But I think that I'd start soccer and I'd do some kind of

(52:27):
dance, probably something to getus out of the house, something
to get her around other kids. And I think all those would be
great. Yep, that's exactly how we
looked into it for soccer. Might I recommend to you into
our listeners Soccer shots? Outstanding program, non
competitive, focuses on soccer skills and character development
in tandem. Love it.

(52:47):
Soccer shots, highly recommend. Might I not recommend doing
evening summer practices? Stupid, so stupid.
I also did a fall one fall. Why are they at?
Fall in the morning so like theydo recent wear a hat and gloves?
I don't know and why? Better question, why did I think
this was a good idea? Don't know.
Spring in the morning that is where it is at.

(53:07):
But yeah stupid. Do not recommend.
OK, so with Reese, we put her indance around close to 2 1/2.
Yeah, that was her first extracurricular.
She did that for a while. We dabbled in soccer.
I think later just after that, she's done gymnastics as well.
And then Brooke, we have her in soccer right now and she is,

(53:29):
like I said, a half a dozen times, if not more.
She is just over 2. So I don't know, Brooke might
be, at least for soccer, in the heat a little early, but she's
also starting dance this fall. So I'm hoping that this preps
her in the way of being used to organize activities.
We'll see, yeah. OK, the next 1 is when will you

(53:51):
have the period talk? I thought this when you were
doing your intro. I didn't think of my answers for
any of these. I probably should have thought I
didn't either time, so I don't know.
I started my period, in case anyone's wondering, when I was
14. Wow, it's old.
Megan's a late bloomer. I like to think that that's
because my hormones were in check, isn't it?

(54:12):
Are all these like PFAS and whatever making kids start
their, like, go through puberty?For Esther, I was just healthy.
Probably. I don't know.
Yeah. No, I was 14.
I was a freshman in high school.Yeah.
I don't know. Before that.
I'm not uncomfortable with it byany means.
I talked to Reese about any any sort of question.
Not any question. Anatomy related question is what

(54:35):
I will say that she asks about. I talk to her about it in a age
appropriate way. You had made a joke.
I believe it was on your Why don't I forget these things?
I'm kind of embarrassed that I didn't forget this.
You had said Megan's the kind ofparent who's going to create a
PowerPoint and draw a diagram and stuff.
And I remember saying to you, yeah, I like drew something for

(54:56):
Reese the other day about the anatomy because I, I didn't know
how to explain it. So I drew a picture for.
No, it's female anatomy. Could you imagine?
Could you imagine? I would, I think.
I don't know. I don't.
I here's my biggest hurdle for these things is getting myself

(55:21):
comfortable to not say stuff in an awkward way.
So I'm going to practice. Well, she can't remember,
honestly. Yes, because you don't want, you
don't want them to think that you're uncomfortable.
Explain. Yeah.
Right, because the second they won't ask an uncomfortable vibe
from me, she's going to be like,you feel uncomfortable.
That makes me feel uncomfortable.
No, thank you. So yeah, I just like of course,

(55:42):
age appropriate, all that stuff.Yeah, somewhere before that when
she sparks interest, I don't know, you tell me.
Change my answer to your answer.They do the period talk at
school, so I want to make sure that I explain it to her before
that. I want her to go into that
conversation and none of that isnew information.

(56:05):
Yeah, I like that. Also, just in case she starts it
really early, I want her to be very well prepared that that's
what happens. Yeah, I don't want her to be
scared if that starts to happen.I think that there's a lot of
women that never got the talk and then they start it and they
freak out. I really don't want that to
happen to her. So I think that I'll do it

(56:27):
earlier rather than later. But you're right, in an age
appropriate way, you know, only tell them the things they need
to know until they need to know it.
I remember having the talk with my mom and it was very chill.
She also gave like, she gave me every bit of information that I
needed verbally. She also gave me like, I mean,
you guys know the people person I am.
She also gave me like a book that explained how the body

(56:51):
changes as you go through puberty.
So it was never an awkward thingin our house.
That's my theory is that if you leave it until the bitter end
when you have to have the conversation, it's going to be
uncomfortable. If you are just open about it of
course. Again, age appropriate like all
along. It's not weird and you've
already built this level of trust with them where you know

(57:14):
you're going to to talk about things just objectively and not
make it embarrassing or whatever.
Yeah, I think the biggest, my biggest rule of thumb is that I
want to make sure I'm the first person to tell her.
So I just want to make sure I get to her before they do the
sex Ed talk. If they still do that in
schools, I don't even know if they still do that.
Yeah. OK.

(57:34):
So the next 1 is when are we going to allow makeup?
So I will allow playing with makeup and or putting it on
anytime in the house. If she's 2 years old and wants
to play with kid makeup, great. That's fine with me.
We're not going to wear it out in public, but in the house,
totally rock your world. I think that I would allow light

(57:55):
makeup in middle school and thenhigh schools.
You can do what you want. That's my general idea.
But of course, I'm going to follow her lead.
Yeah. I'm along the same lines as you.
Reese will hang out with me if she wakes up early, she'll sit
on the bed while I'm getting ready.
And my language around makeup isvery positive, very like, it's

(58:17):
creative. I enjoy it.
It's fun, very positive language.
So I hope that that sticks because I mean what I'm saying,
I'm not I'm not outright lying. I go as far as the truth and
then I don't say anything beyondthat.
So I am the same thing. Like I let her play with it.
I do feel a little uncomfortableon this topic for dance because

(58:43):
I do. I mean, she's 5I will not make
her be the outlier who does not.I think that that would be more
damaging than prolonging her useof makeup when she's inevitably
going to do it, especially if she's going to continue dancing
competitively. That would, Yeah, more damage.

(59:03):
However, I'm comfortable saying it's part of your costume.
And now if she chose not to, which isn't going to happen, but
if it did, I would be in supportof that.
And then, yeah, same thing. I guess if she starts to have
interest around middle school, Idon't have problems with that.
Yeah. No, I just like would talk with
her through her rationale and like have her process it and

(59:23):
understand why she's interested in doing that and then go from
there. Yeah, I think.
I don't have any strict feelingson it.
Yeah, I think for dance, I mean,with my dance company, you were
not allowed to not wear makeup. You had to have stage makeup.
And they very much were like, you need dark eyeshadow, red
lipstick, pink blush. They gave you pretty much what

(59:44):
it was, but we talked about it like it's part of your costume
and the point of it is so that people can see your features
from a far distance, so. Which is totally.
Explained. Other than that, yeah, I think
that we covered those stuff, butthat is interesting.
I didn't even think about the the stage makeup kind of aspect.

(01:00:04):
Totally. Sounds like you and I are the
same thing too. Yeah, yeah.
All right. So next 1 is when are you going
to allow your kids to date? You might have a different
opinion than a lot of people on this, or maybe not.
I just haven't really talked about it with anybody.
My feeling is that I never want to shut down this conversation

(01:00:26):
with either of my girls because I fear that if I am strict and
say this is the rule, you followthe rule.
There is no communication beyondthis rule.
They're just going to hide it, right?
Total. And when you hide things and we
don't have open communication about it and there's no trust on
either side, that's when and badthings are going to happen.
Yeah. So honestly, my thought is that

(01:00:50):
I am going to say my preference and then I'm going to leave it
at that. And I'm going to follow their
lead. And I, across the board, in the
teenage years and beyond, want to have trust with my daughters
so that they can talk to me about uncomfortable, difficult
things so that if something bad is to happen, they aren't

(01:01:12):
problem solving behind the scenes because they're petrified
that mom and Dad are going to bemad and they're going to get in
trouble. I want them to go.
I got myself into a pickle and come get.
I now need to call mom and dad. Yeah, totally.
Without a doubt. And if, if other people have
different opinions on that, I don't care like that.

(01:01:33):
I'm feel so firmly about that. Yeah, that's how I'm going to
approach dating. I'm just going to let, I'm going
to tell them my preference and then I'm going to all their
lead. Now I will have boundaries.
I do not want what I just said to be mistaken.
I'll certainly have boundaries. That's where I stand.
Yeah, I think that I will 100% allow my kids to invite their

(01:01:59):
dates to our house, like prior to the age where they like go
somewhere and they can. We'll have boundaries within the
home of what they're able to do.But you're right, I don't want
them to. They'll hide their own stuff
like their kids or adults. They're going to hide stuff.
I want the stuff they hide to belike the candy bar that they
snuck in their room in the middle of the night or I don't

(01:02:22):
know, the movie that they watched with their friends
sometime, whatever. I don't want like partners to be
what they hide or any kind of romantic events to be what they
hide. So I agree, I think that they
can date within the house or within the other person's house
pretty much whenever, but they can't go out of the house until

(01:02:44):
like they can drive or something.
I don't know something like that.
Taylor and I have different opinions because Taylor says no
dating till 16 and I was like like try your very best to stop
her I dare you. Yeah, what's going to happen is
at 14, she's going to have a boyfriend and then she's going
to be telling you guys I'm staying after school to go to
the softball game. And they make out behind the

(01:03:05):
bleachers. Yeah, totally.
Yeah, no, no, like she'll hide it.
If she thinks she's going to getin trouble, then she's going to
hide it. That's that's what teenagers do.
That's exactly what they should do.
It's there. It's testing boundaries and
wanting to be independent is normal.
But right. I want them to do those things
openly. I agree.

(01:03:25):
OK cool. Last 1 is when are we going to
allow cell phones? I would say trying to think so.
I wouldn't mind getting her one of those watches that you can
call your parents from. Like there's a programmable
number that you can only call the parents from.
Like when she's doing extracurricular activities where

(01:03:46):
we don't take her to them but I don't think she would get a cell
phone till high school. Yeah, same.
I feel the exact same way. Yeah.
I wouldn't be opposed to a watchor something like that.
When it comes to a cell phone. I do feel strongly about
smartphones, so I would be cool with a little flip phone.

(01:04:08):
You can call whatever. Yeah, I would be fine with that.
Probably earlier than most smartphones.
I'm delaying that as long as possible.
I Yeah, as long as possible. I know that there are, it's
going to become a challenge because all of her friends, all
of their friends are going to have smartphones.
And so there's going to become like pressure on Colton and I

(01:04:32):
and that is going to be challenging with our children.
So I don't know subjects to change, but when it comes to a
smartphone I want to delay that as long as possible.
I totally agree with that, I think.
The. Flip phone thing is a really
good idea. Thanks.
Yeah, just sucks because we justsaid with the dating, like
they'll hide things to get theirway and with the cell phone

(01:04:56):
stuff they'll get around what I'm trying to keep them from.
And so, you know, you could go like the Bark phone route, like
the heavy monitoring or whatever, but I have fears with
that. I just have strong opinions
about social media and having unlimited access to the
Internet. Yeah.
So. Yes I do too.
I don't want the bark phone. I would love to have a phone

(01:05:18):
like a flip phone where they cancall and text without the access
to the Internet Internet, but I don't want to see their texts.
I don't want to break that privacy unless I have to.
So I think a flip phone would bea great idea.
Until I completely agree with that, I do not want yes, yes, I
do not want to get notificationsof your text messages without

(01:05:39):
warrant because that is going tostart us off on the wrong.
But this this huge issue. Yeah, I completely agree with
you there. Yeah, all right.
Wow. We were on the same page with a
lot of those. I.
Don't like any of this. I don't even want to think about
those. Days I know I am very.
Anxious with the Internet? I know actually me and my mom
were having this talk this morning about social media and

(01:06:02):
how horrible it is with kids. And it makes me anxious too
because I know if I try to restrict it she's going to find
workarounds. But kids don't care about the
bad parts. They just like the good parts.
And there are so many bad parts.It's bad for adults.
It's so bad for kids. I wish there was some way to go
back in time and tell Mark Zuckerberg this is the worst

(01:06:25):
idea in the world. Do not make Facebook.
Yeah. I know that you're going to get
like a two $500 million yacht out of this decision, but yeah,
can you please not? Yeah.
Can you? Stick with your canoe, it's
better exercise. I'm I am glad that we are part
of the generation that knew lifebefore all of this technology.

(01:06:51):
We can we know how damaging it is and we can try our best to
navigate that. However, how blissful for future
generations that this is all they know.
They don't have to carry the stress because I'm very stressed
about that. That me too time in life.
Me too. Yeah.
It's just so easy to say, raise kids that aren't affected by the

(01:07:15):
horrible things on the Internet.Do you know a 14 year old boy or
girl that is confident enough tohave people attack them on the
Internet and just be cool with it?
Like there's no adult in the world that's OK with that.
Yeah I completely agree. Also it's like unlimited access
to dopamine. It does not set them up for
adult decision making when they become 18 and they get to

(01:07:39):
officially make all of their choices for themselves.
If any parent has figured it outlet us know but.
Or if anybody has different ideas, like I would love to hear
what other people's ideas for when they're going to do some of
these things. That'd be really interesting to
hear a difference in opinion because Megan and I are so
similar that we have roughly similar ideas on some of these.

(01:08:02):
Yeah, yeah, I agree actually. All right, you want to wrap it
up? Sure, Help us build a culture
with moms at the forefront by sharing our episodes every week
with the moms in near life who could use a little extra girl
time. We're the ones who keep the
world turning, so might as well have something fun to listen to
while you do it. Meet us here every Wednesday for
a new episode and in the meantime, we'd love to keep the

(01:08:23):
conversation going with you on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook.
You can find us there at MomsonsPod.
You can also find us on YouTube at Momsons Podcast.
Also, please follow and rate ourshow on your podcast platform of
choice. That helps us out a great deal.
Thanks for hanging out with us today.
I hope you guys have a great dayand don't forget to quarter your
kids grapes.