6 Simple Tips to Get Your Spouse Onboard with a Budget
Resources mentioned:
Free Beginners Guide: https://www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/budgeting-beginners-guide/
Transcipt:
Trying to figure our how to manage your money on your own is hard enough but getting someone else on board with the plan can make it even harder.
Especially if they don’t want to do the work or aren’t as motivated as you.
If you are like me, you are super excited and ready to run all in but having your partner not quite as excited as you can damper your mood.
It’s even harder if they don’t see the need for it at all and don’t want to budget, save, or pay off debt.
Both partners need to really see how managing your money better will benefit them. If they think you are just trying to control them or they don’t see the point, its not going to work.
This is why it’s so important to work together and at times compromise so that you can reach your bigger goals as a team.
Today I will be discussing a couple of tips that can help you work together as well. It’s important to try different things to find what works for both of you.
I have found that typically one partner is all into the budget and wanting to save and the other may have to be dragged along.
One of the biggest issues in my free facebook group, budgeting for beginners, is “how do I get my spouse on board” or something to that effect. I get this question constantly.
Now keep in mind that your partner may not be as excited about this as you. You also need to be mindful of how you talk to them and know that it may take them longer to see the benefit.
Do not talk down to them or talk to them in such a way that they are going to get defensive. Try not to blame them for all your money problems.
This will only make it worse and can cause them to completely shut down and dig in their heels.
Think of it from their perspective, how would you like it if someone told you were doing something wrong or causing all the money problems. It would make you shut down and get defensive.
Ok before we dive into the tips, go grab your free budgeting beginners guide and worksheet at https://www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/budgeting-beginners-guide/ I will also link to it in the show notes.
Ok, now onto the tips to get your spouse on board.
(#1) The best tip I have heard about this issue actually came from Adam Kol on episode #3 of this podcast.
He suggests sitting down separately and writing out what you want out of life. What are you bigger goals?
Now you should both do this separately and then come together to see what is the same, what you can do together, and what may not be possible.
It’s important that you both compromise on somethings when doing this exercise. The point of this exercise is to agree on your bigger goals together.
What do you both want to work towards?
It’s important to figure out what you both want to work towards that will motivate both of you.
Once you figure out the why then you can more easily figure out the how and it will make it easter to stay motivated.
(#2) The next tip that I always suggest to people is once you figure out what you both want to work towards, make a visual that will inspire you to keep going and stay focused.
This could be a savings tracker on your fridge, or a debt payoff tracker, whatever it is, keep a visual of your progress somewhere you can see it at least once a day.
You could also do a type of dream or vision board with pictures of your “why” or things that will inspire you to stay focused. So it could be pictures of your kids along with pictures of the beach or Disney World, college, your dream home, whatever it may be.
It’s important to keep visuals around that will help you stay motivated. Because there will be times that you feel like you’re not making any progress and want to give up.
If your spouse is not fully on board the visual may help them see the progress you are actually making. Especially if they aren’t dealing with the numbers like you. It will potentially help bring them around to being more motivated to make your dream really happen.
I spoke with a lady this week that was having a hard time with spending too much on food for her small family and issues with her husband staying focused on their long-term goal of building a house. They made around $150,000 a year together and yet are living paycheck to paycheck with nothing saved for their house or anything else for that matter.
This is the main suggestion that I made to her to hopefully get her husband to see, visually, that they needed to save for their dream house.
(#3) The third tip I have is to keep chugging along on your plan even if they aren’t fully on board and maybe once they see your progress, they will get more motivated to go along with it. Now, the issue that comes up with this is that the other spouse overspends, wrecking the budget and making more work for you.
This is an issue that you will need to work on finding a solution. There are a couple things you