The Monster Smash

The Monster Smash

The Monster Smash is the podcast where two innocent and naive readers dive head first into the monster smut genre. From tails and wings to tentacles and claws, we have a lot of opinions.

Episodes

November 17, 2023 69 mins
Your monster mommies are back from their Covid vacation to answer all your most burning questions! Regular episodes will resume in 2 weeks!
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On this episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire are joined by Emily and Lizzy of the Tongue in Cheek podcast to read and dissect Love, Laugh, Lich by Kate Prior. They talk Janice the unhinged liar, thin plot, virgin to DP, intentional non-effort, live laugh love, book character therapy, OSHA compliance, corporate life, don’t fuck your boss just because you’re bored, keep your clothes on, being more efficient with your ri...
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October 2, 2023 1 min
Christine here with a quick podcast update!
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September 6, 2023 94 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect How I Met Your Moth-er by Miranda Sapphire. They talk the mothman legend, more cryptids less confederacy, hallucinations, understanding the trans experience, telling your child about your sex life, fuck transphobia, lighthouse keeper is our ideal job, all lighthouses are haunted, do lighthouses have Wi-Fi, Caucasian urges, bison, moth light attractio...
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On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Stranded in the Satyr’s Garden by Cia Petrichor. Along with special guests Rob and Josh, they talk big time guests, Christmas in August, we traumatized our partners, Narnia porn, Christmas parties, Pan’s Labyrinth, creepy creeps, Draco Malfoy, no Scottish accents, Community, Ratagast, UK politics, goatman orgies, magic gardens, bored jerking off, mag...
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August 23, 2023 118 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Have Tail, Will Travel by Nancey Cummings. They talk unhelpful covers, give us more smut, settling, go to therapy, taking your girlfriend and your wife to the same restaurant, arranged marriages, deep throating kebabs, experimenting with aliens, y’all are bisexual, dumb names, lice vs fleas, sturdy females, GO TO THERAPY, feline aliens, what does his...
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On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire interview author Zoraida Cordova, aka Zoey Castile! They talk Zoraida’s new book Kiss The Girl a Little Mermaid retelling, book tours, what is a monster, different kinds of merpeople, Peculiar Tastes, Disney, the mouse doesn’t want sex, Kylo Ren, secret book announcements, Hannah Montana, Disney sequels, pearl necklaces, mermaid anatomy, dick lore, Cthulhu’s dick, cl...
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August 9, 2023 100 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Mantras and Minotaurs by Ashley Bennett. They talk hoof daddies, insta-love, psychic damage, age gap romances, helping the young men out, “no strings attached”, dating stories, don’t tell us what to do, sex and attachment, widow etiquette, yarn crafts, weed and the vampire diaries, stoned Claire is a raccoon, phone dates, get a divorce, keep the hous...
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August 2, 2023 88 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect the second half of Barbarian Alien by Ruby Dixon, the second book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series. They talk name pronunciation, real cliff hangers, Ewoks, baby hostages, hunting is boring, pushing jizz back in, what foreplay is, titty squeezes, bridesmaids, foreplaying, lies we tell during sex, dick rankings, the perils of not resonating, the pi...
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July 26, 2023 61 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Barbarian Alien by Ruby Dixon, the second book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series. They talk being back in the saddle again, capital T trauma, daddy issues, parasites, waking up on alien planets, corporate ice breakers, does Ruby Dixon hate the French, forced parasite insertion, what families aren’t, baby batter, lonely aliens, you get a pickle, ali...
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June 28, 2023 80 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Little Slice of Hell by Clio Evans. They talk Bdsm, bad matchmaking, morning dates, info dumps, glamours, choking over coffee, erotic art, informed consent, never go to a second location, public sex etiquette, public genitalia, confusing magic, horrible communication, instant connections, over dramatic demons, where’s the pickle, rope play, Neon Gods...
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June 21, 2023 110 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect A Polar Expedition: and Other Stimulating Research Opportunities by Kass O’Shire. They talk slow burns, steam punk, plus sized characters, excellent pet names, toilets in fantasy novels, Santa, the power of horniness, naked shifting, wasteful pants ripping, talking to yourself, petting dangerous animals, fantasy world therapists, masturbating in the ...
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On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire interview fairy godmother of the podcast, Ashley Bennett! They talk friendship, gateways into monster smut, normal peens, self doubting, gym showers, the omegaverse, character growth, bad fathers, chicken arms, future books, sapphic romances, traditional publishing, kindle unlimited, GoodReads reviews, bear fucking and DOGS! Plus they play a round of Smash or Pass: C...
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On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Cookies for My Orc Neighbor by Michele Mills. They talk orcs taking their brides in the dark of winter, robotic writing, Maine, Valentine’s Day is boring, winter sucks, petty complaints, snow storms, writing to serial killers, stalking isn’t cute, stop demonizing big boobs, social media quirkiness, leave pretty people alone, info dumping, BBQ’s in Ja...
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May 31, 2023 117 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Tentacles & Triathlons by Ashley Bennett. They talk perfect sexual energy, subtle messaging, funny dedications, preface, horrible fathers, the woods are scary, fucking with a child, pedo-monsters, frat boy monsters, scuttling, your sister’s vagina, milfs, furries, no touchy, take-out frequency, geniuses, a plea to HelloFresh, tentacle-daddy, great co...
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On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire are joined by special guest Elise to read and dissect Mirror Monster on My Wall by Tam M. Nicnevin. They talk orgies, representation, grooming, creepy dolls, magical shadow dildos, cunnies and quims, snake skin boots, too many limbs, too many eyes, tusks and mandibles, birthing hips, interesting reactions to blood, duckies, corsets, spend, murderous desires, mewling,...
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On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect The Death God’s Sacrifice by Jenny Nordbak. They talk useless changes to Greek myths, stone dick and balls, orgasm magic, dartboard plotting, not very nice villains, Medusa 2.0, unwanted friends, having your whole vagina out, magic horny powder, what that tongue do, sexy accents, phonetic dialogue, dirt and seaweed, anal beads, normalizing lube, a wa...
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May 10, 2023 83 mins
On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Extra Virgin Gargoyle by Honey Phillips. They talk halloween costumes, big incel energy, incredibly stupid miscommunications, how not to run a bookstore, instantaneous boners, endless paperwork, “research”, CEO’s responsibilities, Batman’s origin story, women’s pajamas, c*mming in your pants, gargoyle lore, inappropriate workplace touching, creeping ...
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On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect The Sea Monster’s Mate by Delaney Rain. They talk trust fund babies, sunburns on your dick, leg cramps, squidbillies, tenacle details, netherholes, incubating alien eggs, having kids for the wrong reasons, a dick inside a dick, squidlings, baby birding, fish poop, Finding Nemo, yacht logistics, ink holes, alien fucking islands and more! Prepare yours...
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On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect The Captive Merman’s Promise by Zoey Castile. They talk Claire’s merman infatuation, asshole cousins, vaginal pearls, tongue shaped vibrators, underwater cum rags, instalove done right, bisexual kings, contraceptive tea, levels of horniness, choking, spanking, shitting pearls, cheating fiancée’s, magical holes, and more! Get ready to swoon Wolf-babie...
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