March 27, 2025 • 21 mins
In this episode, I share how much the isolation tax is costing you in your personal life and in your business, and what you need to to do get out of that debt.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:06):
Welcome to the mortgage game.
I truly, truly believe that
building a mortgage business, asuccessful one, is like playing a
game.
There's winners, there's losers,
there's certain things you try.
Some of us are playing checkers,
while others are playing chess.
I've had the ability to coach and
mentor hundreds of mortgagebrokers.
I myself built a very nicebusiness, so now I want to distill
(00:27):
all that information, all thethings I've learned from that, and
bring it directly to you in asimple -to -understand way.
I hope you enjoy.
All right.
Welcome to the Mortgage GamePodcast.
West Coast Wiley here.
Just hanging out after spring
break.
First week down, second week
coming up.
Yeah, that's right.
(00:48):
BC, there's two spring breakweeks.
Ontario, there was one.
I don't know.
Some people look at that in apositive way.
Others, not so much, depending howyoung your kids are, depending how
crazy you are at work.
Not sure.
I'm on the second week.
It is what it is.
We're powering through, but we hada little vacation.
So it was pretty awesome.
Okay.
I want to share this with you.
(01:09):
This was, man, I've been thinking
about this for a while and thenjust being away, it just brought
this back.
And it's one of these things we've
got, you know, when I was away, Icompletely disconnected like 95 %
of the time from anything I wasdoing work -wise.
And so, but what I found was this,I found that I really missed a lot
of daily things I was doing thereare some mortgage brokers that
(01:30):
I've been chatting with every dayfor four or five months and from
Monday to Friday we have our dailycheck -in calls and this is where
I'm like I didn't have those Istepped out of those and they
didn't have me there and next timemaybe we'll keep them running for
everybody we'll just have someoneman the booth as they say but I
(01:51):
didn't have that and I quicklyrealized this I was like wow that
connection with other human beingswhere I get to know them more
intimately, I was craving that anddidn't even realize it.
And I look at us as mortgagebrokers.
And once again, this is somethingI've been thinking about for a
long time.
And I'm like, society as a whole
is just driving us into isolationin every which way.
Since coming out of COVID andreally is happening before that,
(02:12):
but convenience is king.
Like you want to get groceries.
Some people don't go to thegrocery store anymore, right?
They just bring, they show up atyour door.
OK, some people don't even go outto get food anymore.
Just boom, shows up, skip thedishes or Uber Eats.
It's like all this automation, allthis quick instant stuff.
It's just coming to where it makesyou just live inside your house
and be, quite frankly, antisocial.
(02:33):
And I'm sitting here looking at
I'm seeing it happen live time infront of us.
And so most of us are trying tobuild a referral based business
and referrals are built off ofrelationships.
Yet, we need that for ourbusiness.
Yet, our day -to -day is aboutisolating ourselves and talking to
less people and leaning into thoseshorter, less significant
(02:53):
relationships and the conveniencetax.
There's convenience taxes.
There's isolation tax.
There's all these taxes we'repaying.
Your net worth is directly tied,we've heard this, to the people
you surround yourself with.
And so if you're not surrounding
yourself with people becauseyou're constantly pulling yourself
(03:15):
away, oh my God, like you have tosit back there.
So and go, well, how do I changethis?
Because the world's going to this,stay in your house, get on your
phone, grind your thing, swipe, goto bed, wake up, do it all over,
do your social post.
And you being social on social
media, like that doesn't quite doit either because you can't tell
(03:37):
me your happiness scale is throughthe roof.
You can't tell me that you beingmore isolated from people as a
whole makes you a happier person,right?
I'm not saying you have to be outlike shaking hands, kissing babies
every day, but I'm not eventalking business.
I'm just going in general.
Where are we drawing our happiness
from if our circle just keepsshrinking on top of it?
(03:57):
And it's just interesting when yousit back and then I look at people
who are struggling a lot asmortgage brokers.
even the ones that are doing well,but like we're doing this, we're
on islands, right?It's really hard.
It's really hard to build thesebusinesses on islands.
You don't have access to certainpeople.
You're sitting there, feel likeyou're doing it on your own.
Everything's on your shoulders.
(04:17):
You're supposed to just go into
your office, grind it out, hustle,the hustle mode, the grind mode,
do that, come out and be this.
happy person that jumps into your
family life and with your otherfriends and then go back into
grindo mode and stay at your desk.
It's like this cycle.
And you're just like, wow, thisisn't good.
(04:38):
Not good at all.
So, and I realized this when I was
away.
I didn't, I, I never had daily
conversations.
with the same type of like -minded
people over and over.
We had stuff with our team and
with people that work for me.
But it wasn't necessarily every
day.
And even if it was, we're talking
about work stuff and somepersonal.
But now my cup is being filledbecause of this.
(04:59):
And I'm like, whoa.
And I actually genuinely missed
it.
And I was like, that's so cool.
And it just made me realize howmany mortgage brokers are missing
that.
And so it's like, what's the
option?How do I get away from this?
Stop paying the isolation tax.
And I got that from some
newsletter I'm signed up with.
(05:19):
And she writes a phenomenal
article.
I can't even remember her name
right now.
But that's where I got that.
She called it isolation tax.
And she went into a different
rant.
But the concept was the same.
It's like we are losing happinessand net worth because we're trying
to do this all on our own on anisland.
(05:40):
So what's the answer?What's the solution then, Ryan?
You're like, yeah, this is great.
You're right.
I agree.
Like, I can tell you this
unequivocally.
I am more happier now because I'm
doing stuff I want to do everyday.
But I can also see in my regularday -to -day life where that
happiness isn't there where itused to be because I used to be in
more social circles.
And now I'm not.
(06:03):
So my world is really shrunk.
And it's not until I step back and
I just call what it is.
I'm like, yeah, you're right.
I don't have as tight offriendships that I used to.
I don't have, right?My work has become a big portion
of my life.
And that's not good.
That's not good.
So how do you fill your cup?
(06:23):
How do you do that?Well, there's a bunch of different
ways.
I'm just going to like throw out
some different ways.
But it comes from like having a
sense of community.
And I read this other article
where churches were making acomeback.
Young.
people looking single, young,
single people are now hanging outat churches more and more because
it's people that are like -mindedand it's social and it's filling
(06:44):
their cup.
They're getting, and they're like,
oh, instead of the bar, they'regoing to church, which is just
crazy.
And it's like, it's interesting.
And so you go, but that's acommunity, right?
And I know a lot of mortgagebrokers or just even business
owners that a lot of theirbusiness comes from church because
that's a community of like -mindedpeople.
So how do you find a community oflike -minded people?
It doesn't have to be the church,but if it's business, like how do
(07:07):
you build a community?Well, you could start a dinner
club.
And I've done a podcast on this.
You should go search one of theearlier ones.
I used to run a dinner club andthat's like you're seeing it.
It's a once a quarter and you getto invite who comes.
You get to pick anybody.
It could be a golfing club.
It could be a dog walking club.
It could be whatever, whatever.
Some sort of club where you'rehanging out with like -minded
(07:28):
individuals.
It could be entrepreneurial dads
or moms.
It could be small business owners.
It could be, right, your own B &Itype group where you're not as,
You know, hey, bring us leads.
It doesn't have to be that, but
some form of community.
And you being in a Facebook group
is not a community.
That doesn't count.
If you're starting your ownFacebook group and you're seen as
the person leading it and you getto keep your finger on the pulse
of the interactions going on inthere.
And I'm not saying you go start aFacebook group.
(07:50):
But I'm just going, huh.
And so from one of our other
training calls, there was a couplemortgage brokers, moms, who were
like, we want to empower singlemoms around finances.
And I'm like, why don't you do aFacebook group?
They're like, yeah, we kind ofalready have one like that.
And I'm like, we'll call itfinancial success for single moms.
And one -stop shop to get trustedadvice.
(08:12):
right, on anything financialrelated, insurance, mortgage, real
estate, investing, whatever.
The simple questions you're maybe
too embarrassed at, go ask overhere, but you bring it in here.
And even if you're getting advice,at least you know this is coming
from other moms.
And you have single moms as the
experts in there talking about it.
And so you build up your referral
network there.
But where I'm going with this is,
I know what is going on behind thescenes with what we're building.
(08:34):
in the community aspect of it.
And I'm not talking about just a
bunch of people in training calls.
I'm talking about giving a space
where adults who are all in thesame journey, who are like
-minded, who are business focusedin the mortgage industry, that all
have a good head on theirshoulders, that all share, that
(08:55):
all give more than they take, thatall do all these things.
We're spending a lot of timetogether.
And it's so cool.
I love it.
I'm like, and I'll tell you this,when you find your people and you
find your community and maybe yougo create and it's your own
mastermind networking group andyou guys meet once a week and it's
the three, four people.
When you start connecting with
people who are on the same journeyas you and you get to know each
(09:22):
other, you just have a deepersense of wanting to help them.
and responsibility and vice versa,and they want to help you.
And that's where you start, thatcompound effect starts coming out.
And imagine if you had like yourfour, five, 10 people that really
cared about you and your businessand were there to help you.
Imagine if you had that.
But this takes time and effort,
(09:43):
right?But it also fills your other cup.
This isn't going to be a crazylong podcast, by the way.
But it fills the other cup of justthe social side, right?
And potentially maybe you meetsome of them in person.
And you get along with them.
But it's people you can go to for
help.
And you're creating like little
mini mentors on certain topicsbecause they're good at that and
(10:03):
they're good at this.
And it's just, I look around us
and I see a divided world.
And I know you can see whatever
world you want.
So I get that.
And I do.
I always see the positive in
things.
I really, really do.
The glass is always half full withme.
But I see people just takingshortcuts.
not being as good as inrelationships, not being as good
as communicating things withpeople.
There's a lot of, just one sec,this podcast brought to you by
(10:27):
Mocha.
Yeah, that's right.
I would Mocha right now.
Yeah, one pump.
That's it.
Too sweet.
But I see this world where likethe communication skills, even
with mortgage brokers, it'slacking.
And I'm just talking aboutmortgage brokers.
It's really every industry, anadult, but there are people coming
up right now in the industry orstill been there that can't string
together a couple sentences.
And why do you think that is?
Well, it's because they're sittingat home consuming content and
(10:48):
stuff and not using apps to bringthings to their door and they're
not going out and they're nothaving like actual conversations
with people.
It's interesting.
Toastmasters is a group you don'tknow.
It's about public speaking.
It's a phenomenal group to go
join.
You getting good at articulating
to people your value adds, whythey should work with you,
overcoming objections they'regoing to have, you knowing how to
(11:10):
roll off your tongue, exactly whythey should use this product over
that product or this strategy orthat strategy.
Some people have the gift.
Others don't.
Most people don't.
So you, this is a skill you have
to work on.
And so if you're not putting
yourself in social situationswhere you're doing webinars and
presentations and presenting togroups and constantly in helping
(11:32):
other people and chatting withthem about their business and how
you can help them and how they canhelp you and like role -playing a
different scenario.
Like if you're not doing that, you
have to go create it becauseotherwise you're just going to
slowly wither away.
Your skill set, whatever it is,
those soft sales skills will justwither away.
(11:52):
They'll deteriorate over time.
It's like an exercise you have to
work on all the time.
And I'm seeing it.
I get so much access to brokersand the conversations.
And I can tell you right now, thequality of brokers that I see now
versus four or five years ago,it's far less.
And a lot of it comes down to Idon't see a lot of happiness.
(12:13):
Man, this is like a doomsdaything.
It's really not.
It's really not.
Because I've chose to surroundmyself with awesome people.
And I don't let unawesome peoplein.
And if I do, I quickly correct andI get them out.
Because you're never going to getit right all the time.
So I have to protect my happiness.
I have to protect the club, who
gets in the club, my circle.
And so right now, I'm in a really
(12:37):
good spot because I'm surroundingmyself with a lot of really good
people.
who are just, they're my people.
They're doing things the rightway.
And so plus, because we get tohave deeper conversations on
things and more conversations andour care level is up through the
roof, we're also just naturallyworking on soft skills.
(12:59):
Those soft skills are how topresent yourself to your end
client or referral partner.
And so I see a lot through all the
training I'm doing, I see a lot ofbrokers who can't clearly
articulate.
why someone should work with them.
That's a problem.
That's a big fucking problem.
Why should I work with you for a20 basis point premium?
(13:20):
If you can't roll off your tongue,why someone should be able to?
And maybe you have four or fivequestions you ask first and then
you get in there.
If you can't do that, you've got a
problem.
You're already up against it.
So instead of you trying to gofigure other shit out, try to
figure out why a client Wouldn'twant to work with you.
Why a referral partner wouldn'twant to work with you.
I can't give you the keys to that.
(13:40):
It's different for everybody.
But I can point you in a directionand go, you should use that,
right?Instead of ordering the food in
because it's convenient, maybe yougo out and eat and maybe you talk
to the table next to you and maybeyou talk to the person in line and
maybe you talk to the server andmaybe you just like, right?
(14:03):
And this is where I'm going.
Maybe you just socialize a little
more when you're out.
And about maybe you put yourself
out there a little more becausethere's this massive ripple effect
of stuff and you putting yourselfout there on social media.
Sure.
Great.
But you're still kind of maskingit, right?
It's controlled.
It's recorded.
It's edited.
(14:23):
Are you truly getting the right
person out there?Like, are you putting yourself out
there?A lot of you aren't.
But are you happier because you'reon there?
Most of us aren't.
You're just doing it because you
were told to do it.
And you're like, oh yeah, I guess
it works.
But you're not happier.
So how do you become happier andhave a better business?
Well, it starts with having moreconversations with people.
And the more conversations you canhave, the better you'll get at
(14:45):
your craft and your art, your softskills.
And the more you'll find thepeople who are your people.
And then you start building yournetwork.
which in turn increases your networth, which in turn increases
your happiness.
Maybe in that order, but maybe in
the other order.
You get what I'm saying?
So we're being pushed into thisspot as a society where everyone
wants you to just live on yourphone and a computer.
wants you to just live on yourphone and a computer.
(15:08):
And it's so bonkers.
And unless you sit back and
actually realize it before youknow it.
You're going to be a grumpy 40-year -old mortgage broker
grinding away, making $180 ,000,working in your office in the
basement, hating compliancedocuments and down payment
documents and being 20 poundsoverweight and not understanding
how the fuck you got there.
Like this was the path you were
always on.
So it's interesting.
You go to some of theseconferences.
(15:30):
You know, if you've listened tothis, whoever hates conferences,
I'm not going to debate that.
They're for everyone.
One second.
This podcast is brought to you by
Mocha.
Okay.
But you go to these conferences.
And I'm not saying the conferences
are the social circles.
It could be, but those are like
one -offs here and there.
(15:51):
I'm talking about like the daily
things.
I'm not saying, hey, I'm going to
go sign up to five conferences ayear, four conferences a year.
Shit, that's a lot.
That's a big commitment.
A lot of them are two, three days.
A lot of them you don't learn fuck
all.
A lot of them you're traveling,
hotel.
Like you're just like, ah, it's
(16:12):
like so much.
And you come back and you're like,
I don't know if that was the bestuse of my time.
I think that was just an excuse toget away.
That's what it was.
But another conversation.
I'm not convinced that's what getsyou into your happy place, right?
It's like, what can you do dailyand weekly to build a tribe, to
(16:36):
build a community of people whoare on the same journey?
And it could be a health journey.
It could be financial literacy
journey.
It could be entrepreneur journey.
It could build a mortgage brokerjourney.
Whatever the journey is, who areyour people?
Where's the community, right?I've been saying this for many
years, but you go to thesemortgage conferences, and I'll be
(16:57):
honest, our industry, if you'rejust looking at the health factor
and the happiness factor, it'slow.
Most mortgage brokers are eitherA, not super happy, a little
grumpy, pessimistic, and out ofshape.
There's the laundry list of stuff.
And it's a product of... A lot of
it is the business we're in andthe business model you have.
But it also doesn't have to bethat way.
Obviously, the priorities aren'tright if that's the case.
But it's really hard to get out ofthat cycle when you're at home in
your office and you're isolatedand you're doing your things and
(17:17):
you go in your apps and you go inyour social and you go, right?
Being pushed into a corner.
backed into a corner essentially
and then told to go hey go buildthis business and talk to a bunch
of people you're like i don't knowmortgage broker don't know how to
talk to people i don't want totalk to people like are you those
people when you take the train oryou take whatever you're staying
(17:40):
line someone you'd rather just nottalk to anyone at all or are you
the person that you're on a planeand you sit beside them and you
start a conversation you see ifthere's commonality and if so you
go deep and if not you shut herdown I read this story way back
when, and it was about this oneguy who couldn't afford first
(18:04):
class tickets, but he alwaysupgraded to first class because
the quality of people there thathe met business -wise, like acumen
-wise about how successful theywere, was far better than coach.
And he got to have theseconversations and he blew up his
business with investors he metfrom flying first class, just
(18:26):
doing his regular traveling.
Because he forced his way into a
network and then put himself outthere to have these conversations,
right?So how do you come up with that
version of that for you, right?That dinner club, right?
Imagine if you had 10 people whowere entrepreneurs, who A, were a
good time to hang out with.
B, moral compass was set right.
C, made a commitment to meet onceevery three months.
That starts, and you're seen asthe person I put together.
(18:49):
And then that starts blowing upand turning into a bunch of other
stuff.
Because other people will want to
come and then they get an invitefrom someone there and it slowly
grows and builds.
And you're seen as the, you know,
the master of it all.
Right.
So I just want to put this outthere because I know a lot of you
might be thinking this or youmight be like, Ryan, you're out to
lunch, which is cool.
I am out to lunch a bunch of
(19:11):
times.
You might be like, yeah, Ryan,
good point.
Yeah, I get it.
So now what do I do?I don't know.
I don't know the answer.
But I do know community is the
answer.
You coming up with your version of
community.
Okay.
So my version of community.
is I thought it was going to be a
(19:31):
Facebook group.
No, hell no. Because I don't like
when people can hide behindkeyboards.
I like to see you.
I like to hear.
I like to ask you questions.
I want to know how that thing went
on the weekend.
I want to know what you and your
significant other did and why youdidn't do that.
And what'd you think of that?I want to know how you got that
(19:54):
lead from the realtor.
What did you say?
What did they say?Why have they sent you other ones?
Why was this lead better than theothers?
Did you do your follow up?Did you like that's and I get to
have those conversations everysingle freaking day on the team.
And that's what I love.
And that's my community.
So very cool.
It was just I wanted to start this
because I'm a happier personbecause of that.
And that was something I did notplan, did not even think about, to
(20:15):
be honest, but it's happening livein front.
So that's it, kids.
Hopefully you got something from
that.
Until next time.
Peace out.
Welcome to the mortgage game.
I truly, truly believe that
building a mortgage business, asuccessful one, is like playing a
game.
There's winners, there's losers,
there's certain things you try.
Some of us are playing checkers,
while others are playing chess.
I've had the ability to coach and
mentor hundreds of mortgagebrokers.
I myself built a very nicebusiness, so now I want to distill
(00:27):
all that information, all thethings I've learned from that, and
bring it directly to you in asimple -to -understand way.
I hope you enjoy.
All right.
Welcome to the Mortgage GamePodcast.
West Coast Wiley here.
Just hanging out after spring
break.
First week down, second week
coming up.
Yeah, that's right.
(00:48):
BC, there's two spring breakweeks.
Ontario, there was one.
I don't know.
Some people look at that in apositive way.
Others, not so much, depending howyoung your kids are, depending how
crazy you are at work.
Not sure.
I'm on the second week.
It is what it is.
We're powering through, but we hada little vacation.
So it was pretty awesome.
Okay.
I want to share this with you.
(01:09):
This was, man, I've been thinking
about this for a while and thenjust being away, it just brought
this back.
And it's one of these things we've
got, you know, when I was away, Icompletely disconnected like 95 %
of the time from anything I wasdoing work -wise.
And so, but what I found was this,I found that I really missed a lot
of daily things I was doing thereare some mortgage brokers that
(01:30):
I've been chatting with every dayfor four or five months and from
Monday to Friday we have our dailycheck -in calls and this is where
I'm like I didn't have those Istepped out of those and they
didn't have me there and next timemaybe we'll keep them running for
everybody we'll just have someoneman the booth as they say but I
(01:51):
didn't have that and I quicklyrealized this I was like wow that
connection with other human beingswhere I get to know them more
intimately, I was craving that anddidn't even realize it.
And I look at us as mortgagebrokers.
And once again, this is somethingI've been thinking about for a
long time.
And I'm like, society as a whole
is just driving us into isolationin every which way.
Since coming out of COVID andreally is happening before that,
(02:12):
but convenience is king.
Like you want to get groceries.
Some people don't go to thegrocery store anymore, right?
They just bring, they show up atyour door.
OK, some people don't even go outto get food anymore.
Just boom, shows up, skip thedishes or Uber Eats.
It's like all this automation, allthis quick instant stuff.
It's just coming to where it makesyou just live inside your house
and be, quite frankly, antisocial.
(02:33):
And I'm sitting here looking at
I'm seeing it happen live time infront of us.
And so most of us are trying tobuild a referral based business
and referrals are built off ofrelationships.
Yet, we need that for ourbusiness.
Yet, our day -to -day is aboutisolating ourselves and talking to
less people and leaning into thoseshorter, less significant
(02:53):
relationships and the conveniencetax.
There's convenience taxes.
There's isolation tax.
There's all these taxes we'repaying.
Your net worth is directly tied,we've heard this, to the people
you surround yourself with.
And so if you're not surrounding
yourself with people becauseyou're constantly pulling yourself
(03:15):
away, oh my God, like you have tosit back there.
So and go, well, how do I changethis?
Because the world's going to this,stay in your house, get on your
phone, grind your thing, swipe, goto bed, wake up, do it all over,
do your social post.
And you being social on social
media, like that doesn't quite doit either because you can't tell
(03:37):
me your happiness scale is throughthe roof.
You can't tell me that you beingmore isolated from people as a
whole makes you a happier person,right?
I'm not saying you have to be outlike shaking hands, kissing babies
every day, but I'm not eventalking business.
I'm just going in general.
Where are we drawing our happiness
from if our circle just keepsshrinking on top of it?
(03:57):
And it's just interesting when yousit back and then I look at people
who are struggling a lot asmortgage brokers.
even the ones that are doing well,but like we're doing this, we're
on islands, right?It's really hard.
It's really hard to build thesebusinesses on islands.
You don't have access to certainpeople.
You're sitting there, feel likeyou're doing it on your own.
Everything's on your shoulders.
(04:17):
You're supposed to just go into
your office, grind it out, hustle,the hustle mode, the grind mode,
do that, come out and be this.
happy person that jumps into your
family life and with your otherfriends and then go back into
grindo mode and stay at your desk.
It's like this cycle.
And you're just like, wow, thisisn't good.
(04:38):
Not good at all.
So, and I realized this when I was
away.
I didn't, I, I never had daily
conversations.
with the same type of like -minded
people over and over.
We had stuff with our team and
with people that work for me.
But it wasn't necessarily every
day.
And even if it was, we're talking
about work stuff and somepersonal.
But now my cup is being filledbecause of this.
(04:59):
And I'm like, whoa.
And I actually genuinely missed
it.
And I was like, that's so cool.
And it just made me realize howmany mortgage brokers are missing
that.
And so it's like, what's the
option?How do I get away from this?
Stop paying the isolation tax.
And I got that from some
newsletter I'm signed up with.
(05:19):
And she writes a phenomenal
article.
I can't even remember her name
right now.
But that's where I got that.
She called it isolation tax.
And she went into a different
rant.
But the concept was the same.
It's like we are losing happinessand net worth because we're trying
to do this all on our own on anisland.
(05:40):
So what's the answer?What's the solution then, Ryan?
You're like, yeah, this is great.
You're right.
I agree.
Like, I can tell you this
unequivocally.
I am more happier now because I'm
doing stuff I want to do everyday.
But I can also see in my regularday -to -day life where that
happiness isn't there where itused to be because I used to be in
more social circles.
And now I'm not.
(06:03):
So my world is really shrunk.
And it's not until I step back and
I just call what it is.
I'm like, yeah, you're right.
I don't have as tight offriendships that I used to.
I don't have, right?My work has become a big portion
of my life.
And that's not good.
That's not good.
So how do you fill your cup?
(06:23):
How do you do that?Well, there's a bunch of different
ways.
I'm just going to like throw out
some different ways.
But it comes from like having a
sense of community.
And I read this other article
where churches were making acomeback.
Young.
people looking single, young,
single people are now hanging outat churches more and more because
it's people that are like -mindedand it's social and it's filling
(06:44):
their cup.
They're getting, and they're like,
oh, instead of the bar, they'regoing to church, which is just
crazy.
And it's like, it's interesting.
And so you go, but that's acommunity, right?
And I know a lot of mortgagebrokers or just even business
owners that a lot of theirbusiness comes from church because
that's a community of like -mindedpeople.
So how do you find a community oflike -minded people?
It doesn't have to be the church,but if it's business, like how do
(07:07):
you build a community?Well, you could start a dinner
club.
And I've done a podcast on this.
You should go search one of theearlier ones.
I used to run a dinner club andthat's like you're seeing it.
It's a once a quarter and you getto invite who comes.
You get to pick anybody.
It could be a golfing club.
It could be a dog walking club.
It could be whatever, whatever.
Some sort of club where you'rehanging out with like -minded
(07:28):
individuals.
It could be entrepreneurial dads
or moms.
It could be small business owners.
It could be, right, your own B &Itype group where you're not as,
You know, hey, bring us leads.
It doesn't have to be that, but
some form of community.
And you being in a Facebook group
is not a community.
That doesn't count.
If you're starting your ownFacebook group and you're seen as
the person leading it and you getto keep your finger on the pulse
of the interactions going on inthere.
And I'm not saying you go start aFacebook group.
(07:50):
But I'm just going, huh.
And so from one of our other
training calls, there was a couplemortgage brokers, moms, who were
like, we want to empower singlemoms around finances.
And I'm like, why don't you do aFacebook group?
They're like, yeah, we kind ofalready have one like that.
And I'm like, we'll call itfinancial success for single moms.
And one -stop shop to get trustedadvice.
(08:12):
right, on anything financialrelated, insurance, mortgage, real
estate, investing, whatever.
The simple questions you're maybe
too embarrassed at, go ask overhere, but you bring it in here.
And even if you're getting advice,at least you know this is coming
from other moms.
And you have single moms as the
experts in there talking about it.
And so you build up your referral
network there.
But where I'm going with this is,
I know what is going on behind thescenes with what we're building.
(08:34):
in the community aspect of it.
And I'm not talking about just a
bunch of people in training calls.
I'm talking about giving a space
where adults who are all in thesame journey, who are like
-minded, who are business focusedin the mortgage industry, that all
have a good head on theirshoulders, that all share, that
(08:55):
all give more than they take, thatall do all these things.
We're spending a lot of timetogether.
And it's so cool.
I love it.
I'm like, and I'll tell you this,when you find your people and you
find your community and maybe yougo create and it's your own
mastermind networking group andyou guys meet once a week and it's
the three, four people.
When you start connecting with
people who are on the same journeyas you and you get to know each
(09:22):
other, you just have a deepersense of wanting to help them.
and responsibility and vice versa,and they want to help you.
And that's where you start, thatcompound effect starts coming out.
And imagine if you had like yourfour, five, 10 people that really
cared about you and your businessand were there to help you.
Imagine if you had that.
But this takes time and effort,
(09:43):
right?But it also fills your other cup.
This isn't going to be a crazylong podcast, by the way.
But it fills the other cup of justthe social side, right?
And potentially maybe you meetsome of them in person.
And you get along with them.
But it's people you can go to for
help.
And you're creating like little
mini mentors on certain topicsbecause they're good at that and
(10:03):
they're good at this.
And it's just, I look around us
and I see a divided world.
And I know you can see whatever
world you want.
So I get that.
And I do.
I always see the positive in
things.
I really, really do.
The glass is always half full withme.
But I see people just takingshortcuts.
not being as good as inrelationships, not being as good
as communicating things withpeople.
There's a lot of, just one sec,this podcast brought to you by
(10:27):
Mocha.
Yeah, that's right.
I would Mocha right now.
Yeah, one pump.
That's it.
Too sweet.
But I see this world where likethe communication skills, even
with mortgage brokers, it'slacking.
And I'm just talking aboutmortgage brokers.
It's really every industry, anadult, but there are people coming
up right now in the industry orstill been there that can't string
together a couple sentences.
And why do you think that is?
Well, it's because they're sittingat home consuming content and
(10:48):
stuff and not using apps to bringthings to their door and they're
not going out and they're nothaving like actual conversations
with people.
It's interesting.
Toastmasters is a group you don'tknow.
It's about public speaking.
It's a phenomenal group to go
join.
You getting good at articulating
to people your value adds, whythey should work with you,
overcoming objections they'regoing to have, you knowing how to
(11:10):
roll off your tongue, exactly whythey should use this product over
that product or this strategy orthat strategy.
Some people have the gift.
Others don't.
Most people don't.
So you, this is a skill you have
to work on.
And so if you're not putting
yourself in social situationswhere you're doing webinars and
presentations and presenting togroups and constantly in helping
(11:32):
other people and chatting withthem about their business and how
you can help them and how they canhelp you and like role -playing a
different scenario.
Like if you're not doing that, you
have to go create it becauseotherwise you're just going to
slowly wither away.
Your skill set, whatever it is,
those soft sales skills will justwither away.
(11:52):
They'll deteriorate over time.
It's like an exercise you have to
work on all the time.
And I'm seeing it.
I get so much access to brokersand the conversations.
And I can tell you right now, thequality of brokers that I see now
versus four or five years ago,it's far less.
And a lot of it comes down to Idon't see a lot of happiness.
(12:13):
Man, this is like a doomsdaything.
It's really not.
It's really not.
Because I've chose to surroundmyself with awesome people.
And I don't let unawesome peoplein.
And if I do, I quickly correct andI get them out.
Because you're never going to getit right all the time.
So I have to protect my happiness.
I have to protect the club, who
gets in the club, my circle.
And so right now, I'm in a really
(12:37):
good spot because I'm surroundingmyself with a lot of really good
people.
who are just, they're my people.
They're doing things the rightway.
And so plus, because we get tohave deeper conversations on
things and more conversations andour care level is up through the
roof, we're also just naturallyworking on soft skills.
(12:59):
Those soft skills are how topresent yourself to your end
client or referral partner.
And so I see a lot through all the
training I'm doing, I see a lot ofbrokers who can't clearly
articulate.
why someone should work with them.
That's a problem.
That's a big fucking problem.
Why should I work with you for a20 basis point premium?
(13:20):
If you can't roll off your tongue,why someone should be able to?
And maybe you have four or fivequestions you ask first and then
you get in there.
If you can't do that, you've got a
problem.
You're already up against it.
So instead of you trying to gofigure other shit out, try to
figure out why a client Wouldn'twant to work with you.
Why a referral partner wouldn'twant to work with you.
I can't give you the keys to that.
(13:40):
It's different for everybody.
But I can point you in a directionand go, you should use that,
right?Instead of ordering the food in
because it's convenient, maybe yougo out and eat and maybe you talk
to the table next to you and maybeyou talk to the person in line and
maybe you talk to the server andmaybe you just like, right?
(14:03):
And this is where I'm going.
Maybe you just socialize a little
more when you're out.
And about maybe you put yourself
out there a little more becausethere's this massive ripple effect
of stuff and you putting yourselfout there on social media.
Sure.
Great.
But you're still kind of maskingit, right?
It's controlled.
It's recorded.
It's edited.
(14:23):
Are you truly getting the right
person out there?Like, are you putting yourself out
there?A lot of you aren't.
But are you happier because you'reon there?
Most of us aren't.
You're just doing it because you
were told to do it.
And you're like, oh yeah, I guess
it works.
But you're not happier.
So how do you become happier andhave a better business?
Well, it starts with having moreconversations with people.
And the more conversations you canhave, the better you'll get at
(14:45):
your craft and your art, your softskills.
And the more you'll find thepeople who are your people.
And then you start building yournetwork.
which in turn increases your networth, which in turn increases
your happiness.
Maybe in that order, but maybe in
the other order.
You get what I'm saying?
So we're being pushed into thisspot as a society where everyone
wants you to just live on yourphone and a computer.
wants you to just live on yourphone and a computer.
(15:08):
And it's so bonkers.
And unless you sit back and
actually realize it before youknow it.
You're going to be a grumpy 40-year -old mortgage broker
grinding away, making $180 ,000,working in your office in the
basement, hating compliancedocuments and down payment
documents and being 20 poundsoverweight and not understanding
how the fuck you got there.
Like this was the path you were
always on.
So it's interesting.
You go to some of theseconferences.
(15:30):
You know, if you've listened tothis, whoever hates conferences,
I'm not going to debate that.
They're for everyone.
One second.
This podcast is brought to you by
Mocha.
Okay.
But you go to these conferences.
And I'm not saying the conferences
are the social circles.
It could be, but those are like
one -offs here and there.
(15:51):
I'm talking about like the daily
things.
I'm not saying, hey, I'm going to
go sign up to five conferences ayear, four conferences a year.
Shit, that's a lot.
That's a big commitment.
A lot of them are two, three days.
A lot of them you don't learn fuck
all.
A lot of them you're traveling,
hotel.
Like you're just like, ah, it's
(16:12):
like so much.
And you come back and you're like,
I don't know if that was the bestuse of my time.
I think that was just an excuse toget away.
That's what it was.
But another conversation.
I'm not convinced that's what getsyou into your happy place, right?
It's like, what can you do dailyand weekly to build a tribe, to
(16:36):
build a community of people whoare on the same journey?
And it could be a health journey.
It could be financial literacy
journey.
It could be entrepreneur journey.
It could build a mortgage brokerjourney.
Whatever the journey is, who areyour people?
Where's the community, right?I've been saying this for many
years, but you go to thesemortgage conferences, and I'll be
(16:57):
honest, our industry, if you'rejust looking at the health factor
and the happiness factor, it'slow.
Most mortgage brokers are eitherA, not super happy, a little
grumpy, pessimistic, and out ofshape.
There's the laundry list of stuff.
And it's a product of... A lot of
it is the business we're in andthe business model you have.
But it also doesn't have to bethat way.
Obviously, the priorities aren'tright if that's the case.
But it's really hard to get out ofthat cycle when you're at home in
your office and you're isolatedand you're doing your things and
(17:17):
you go in your apps and you go inyour social and you go, right?
Being pushed into a corner.
backed into a corner essentially
and then told to go hey go buildthis business and talk to a bunch
of people you're like i don't knowmortgage broker don't know how to
talk to people i don't want totalk to people like are you those
people when you take the train oryou take whatever you're staying
(17:40):
line someone you'd rather just nottalk to anyone at all or are you
the person that you're on a planeand you sit beside them and you
start a conversation you see ifthere's commonality and if so you
go deep and if not you shut herdown I read this story way back
when, and it was about this oneguy who couldn't afford first
(18:04):
class tickets, but he alwaysupgraded to first class because
the quality of people there thathe met business -wise, like acumen
-wise about how successful theywere, was far better than coach.
And he got to have theseconversations and he blew up his
business with investors he metfrom flying first class, just
(18:26):
doing his regular traveling.
Because he forced his way into a
network and then put himself outthere to have these conversations,
right?So how do you come up with that
version of that for you, right?That dinner club, right?
Imagine if you had 10 people whowere entrepreneurs, who A, were a
good time to hang out with.
B, moral compass was set right.
C, made a commitment to meet onceevery three months.
That starts, and you're seen asthe person I put together.
(18:49):
And then that starts blowing upand turning into a bunch of other
stuff.
Because other people will want to
come and then they get an invitefrom someone there and it slowly
grows and builds.
And you're seen as the, you know,
the master of it all.
Right.
So I just want to put this outthere because I know a lot of you
might be thinking this or youmight be like, Ryan, you're out to
lunch, which is cool.
I am out to lunch a bunch of
(19:11):
times.
You might be like, yeah, Ryan,
good point.
Yeah, I get it.
So now what do I do?I don't know.
I don't know the answer.
But I do know community is the
answer.
You coming up with your version of
community.
Okay.
So my version of community.
is I thought it was going to be a
(19:31):
Facebook group.
No, hell no. Because I don't like
when people can hide behindkeyboards.
I like to see you.
I like to hear.
I like to ask you questions.
I want to know how that thing went
on the weekend.
I want to know what you and your
significant other did and why youdidn't do that.
And what'd you think of that?I want to know how you got that
(19:54):
lead from the realtor.
What did you say?
What did they say?Why have they sent you other ones?
Why was this lead better than theothers?
Did you do your follow up?Did you like that's and I get to
have those conversations everysingle freaking day on the team.
And that's what I love.
And that's my community.
So very cool.
It was just I wanted to start this
because I'm a happier personbecause of that.
And that was something I did notplan, did not even think about, to
(20:15):
be honest, but it's happening livein front.
So that's it, kids.
Hopefully you got something from
that.
Until next time.
Peace out.
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