April 22, 2025 • 25 mins
This episode of The Mosaic Life with Laura W features the incredible Carisa Holmes, a musician, author, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping practitioner. Get ready to dive into the fascinating world of EFT and discover how it can help you overcome fear, anxiety, and self-doubt to achieve your goals.
Carisa shares her inspiring journey from aspiring pop star to empowering others through EFT. She reveals how her own struggles with stage fright led her to discover the transformative power of EFT and how it can help others break free from their limitations.
We explore the science behind EFT, how it works to regulate the nervous system, and its effectiveness in addressing a wide range of issues, including PTSD, addiction, phobias, and even food cravings. Carisa guides us through a simple yet powerful EFT tapping exercise, demonstrating how it can quickly calm the nervous system and promote a sense of self-acceptance.
This episode is packed with valuable insights and practical tools for anyone seeking to overcome fear, anxiety, or self-doubt, whether it's on stage, in a networking meeting, or in everyday life. Tune in and discover how EFT tapping can help you unlock your full potential and shine brightly!
#eft #tapping #emotionalfreedomtechnique #selfacceptance #nervoussystemregulation #overcomefear #publicspeaking #stagefright #themosaiclife #laurawagenknecht #mosaicbusinessconsulting
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to the Mosaic Life with Laura W.
I am your host, lauraBogdan-Knesht, and this show is
presented to you by MosaicBusiness Consulting.
A mosaic is a bunch of piecesthat, when put together, make up
the whole in a really beautifulway.
This show discusses the variouspieces of a business throughout
different industries and howthese pieces, when put together
(00:30):
correctly, can help develop asmoother, more efficient and
effective running of yourbusiness.
To reach me, contact Laura atmosaicbusinessconsultingcom.
And today's show is going to bea little bit different because I
understand that Carissa isgoing to make us do a little bit
of stuff work on our own here.
So, anyway, today my guest isnone other than Carissa Holmes,
(00:53):
and I am so excited to have heron here.
She's a musician, author,speaker and certified accredited
emotional freedom technique orEFT tapping practitioner.
Her mission is to empowerpeople, to heal and inspire them
to create, and I got to tellyou it's just amazing what she
does.
So her greatest joy is writingand performing music on big
(01:17):
stages such as the ElectricForest Music Festival and
intimate community gatherings.
I like that idea where it's asmall group of people, but when
off stage, carissa helpsprofessionals overcoming the
fear of public speaking, stagefright and networking nerves so
that we can perform and presentwith more confidence.
(01:41):
So welcome to the show, carissa, it is absolutely great to have
you here.
More confidence.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
So welcome to the show, carissa.
It is absolutely great to haveyou here.
Thank you, laura, for having me.
I appreciate it.
I've had a chance to listen tosome of your previous episodes
and I really love your interviewstyle and it really is kind of
like you're giving people thegrout they need to pull their
mosaic together and really makeit form.
So it's wonderful.
Thank you, oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
It's very generous.
I am kind of curious, though.
You know when, when peoplestart doing something like what
you're doing, I'm alwayswondering what?
Why choose that?
You could be choosing how toteach, how to sing, you know, or
something along the lines.
So I'm curious what got youinto this?
(02:28):
And you know why, become an EFTpractitioner?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Right, it's such a good question because it wasn't
an active choice of mine.
I really thought that I wasjust going to be a pop star.
I got very close to that.
I was working with major recordlabels when I was young.
I was told I was next in lineto be signed and everything was
lined up and how it was supposedto be and it was just funny how
everything kind of fell apartand you know, all these very
unlikely stories kind ofunfolded and I'm like, why is
this happening?
And it was because I was meantto help others and just being on
(03:03):
stage as a pop star, I mean youcould say that it helps, that
music can be medicine, but I wasmeant to really help people
unpack what is preventing themfrom shining and becoming their
own star.
And it's, frankly, much moregratifying work for me to be.
I get on stage, I sing, I havea great time, it's fun, it's
medicine for me.
But I can also help someoneelse to get past the same thing
(03:26):
that I went through, which wasunbelievable amounts of stage
fright, to the point where Iwould have freeze responses
where I couldn't do anything.
Once I got past the freezes,there was a whole lot of crappy
performances, frankly, because Iwas so scared and I was shaking
and you're shaking and you're asinger, your voice shakes.
everyone can tell you're nervousand you know, I did so many
(03:49):
poor performances before Ifinally got to the point where I
was free.
I said you know what I got tohelp other people that are
dealing with this as well.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Well, it's fantastic and I can't imagine how many of
the entrepreneurs andsolopreneurs or business owners
that I know that have to speakoften either in networking
meetings to pitch or to talk toothers, etc.
Or to get on stage or give aworkshop or something along
(04:20):
those lines, and I'm wondering,you know how helpful this could
be for them.
But I'm also wondering if youcan describe for me or tell me
more about what is EFT.
You know, it's one thing tohear the words, but what does it
?
What is it?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well, eft is the emotional freedom technique.
It is a body mind modality.
It's a somatic release.
Therapy is somatic means of thebody.
So we are using our fingers totap on meridian endpoints on the
face and the body and the hands.
These are the same points thatan acupuncturist uses and puts a
needle into when we getacupuncture.
(05:00):
But we're just using tapping noneedles, thankfully and we're
stimulating those meridianendpoints and it helps to
release whatever it is thatwe're just using tapping no
needles, thankfully and we'restimulating those meridian
endpoints and it helps torelease whatever it is that
we're holding or fighting orrepressing within ourselves
which is causing the innerconflict which is the core root
of stage fright.
We're at war with ourself andwhen you're at war with yourself
(05:21):
, you can't win, no matter howit turns out, unless you're
coming to a place of harmony andagreement.
There was no victory there.
You just suppressed a part ofyourself so that you could move
on and do whatever task youwanted to do.
So EFT helps bring us to aplace of self-acceptance, of
helping the part of us thatfeels unsafe and is generating
(05:42):
the stage right, helping thatinner animal feel safe so that
it's not pulling us back fromexpanding and getting onto that
stage at TEDx and giving aspeech or going to a networking
meeting and not feeling nervousand awkward in the corner, that
inner animal, helping it feelsafe, we can expand with ease
(06:03):
and grace.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, and so how do we do that?
You know how does that processwork, because it sounds like
it's not just about tapping andmeridians, which I would love
for you to describe.
What is the meridian?
But you know just what is itthat?
What does it do for us?
(06:26):
That then leads us intosomething else.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
What we're talking about here and this is one of
the one of the three kinds ofmain things we can do to help
ourselves is practicing nervoussystem regulation.
Eft helps tremendously withthat, and what nervous system
regulation is is what we used tocall stress management Back in
the eighties.
We'd say you need better stressmanagement, and we didn't know
that it's about the nervoussystem being regulated, meaning
(06:52):
you have the capacity to bringyourself back to a neutral, rest
and digest state Once you havebeen in fight, flight or freeze
for some reason hopefully a goodreason but you have this
capacity to shift and come backto your natural state, which is
neutral, and we're notconstantly staying in this hyper
(07:13):
aroused, hyper vigilant,stressed mindset that our
society unfortunately fosters alot of having that capacity just
to come back to neutral, andthat is how EFT helps us with
regulation.
That is the number one thingthat can help prevent and bring
that stage fright down, when thenerve system understands how to
handle high sensation withoutgetting stuck in a fight flight
(07:36):
response.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Okay, and it sounds like it can also then help with
things outside of stage.
Fright, I mean.
So what are some of thesethings that you know I can't?
I just can't imagine that it'sjust for this.
So what?
What else can it help with?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
There's plenty of research and there's a
searchable directory.
It's actually a really goodsearch engine.
On EFT internationalorg websiteyou can read about all the
research and the clinical thingsthat have been done with EFT.
It's really good for PTSD.
They've done a lot of work withveterans and PTSD.
I helped healed myself fromCPTSD using somatic techniques
(08:21):
like EFT along with therapy.
It's really good for addictions, phobias.
Phobias can go awaysurprisingly quickly with EFT.
It's a form of exposure therapy, but that helps a person stay
calm while they're being exposed, so it works a little faster.
It's also really good for foodcravings.
(08:42):
I have none Right, I'm thinkingabout the chocolate bar on my
kitchen counter.
It helps the emotional drive towant to eat, to comfort oneself
for something, or anhabituation toward eating a
certain food.
It breaks that programming upand makes it a lot easier to
change your habits.
(09:03):
For so many things we say inthe business it's a joke.
Just tap on everything, like goto the doctor when you need to,
but also tap on everything.
Tap, tap on your way there andsee.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Wow, and, and so you were saying how it can help us
regulate our, our system.
But what is what else you know?
How else can it help us?
How, like I can only imagine.
Okay, so I'm regulating mysystem.
Yeah, does it stop there, or isthere?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
more.
There's much more.
It's a really good way tounpack conditioning from our
childhood, unhelpfulsubconscious programming.
All of the things that drivewho we are and our behavior are
not in the little part of ourconscious mind that's above the
water.
It's like the iceberg analogy.
It's the 90% that's under thesubconscious programming that
(09:59):
creates our day.
Eft is a way to become aware ofthe patterns that we're seeing
in our life, where they'recoming from, what beliefs are
driving these patterns, andusing EFT and this is really
something that should be donewith a therapist we're not real
good at seeing ourselves, youknow it's like you can't see the
forest for the trees.
Plus, we deserve support.
(10:19):
You know, especially if there'strauma involved, you need
someone.
Pack all that programming.
You can take the emotionalcharge off of events that
happened early in your life thatare driving unwanted patterns
because you're stuck.
There's this emotion that'sstuck or there's this
programming in your subconsciousthat it's not safe to speak up
(10:39):
because uncle Robert, you know,hit me in the back of the head
when I spoke up one day.
You know it's things like thatfrom early in life that tend to
get stuck from our formativeyears and EFT with a
practitioner can reallyeffectively help you unpack and
break down those emotional kindof crystallized things.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Wow, really cool and and so you know you talk about
EFT and the techniques, andyou've talked about hitting the
meridians, which again okay.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
You can kind of like an energy pathway in the body.
They have.
Now that our scientificequipment is a little more
advanced, they have been able todetect these meridian endpoints
with equipment.
There are areas whereelectrical resistance of the
skin changes fairly dramaticallyfrom the rest of the body and,
sure enough, those are thepoints where the meridians are
(11:36):
opening up onto the skin.
So we at least have somescientific awareness of these
points that have been in othersystems.
Like traditional Chinesemedicine, people could see the
meridian.
You know they were had theclairvoyance to be able to.
Oh well, I see this line goingfrom here down to your stomach.
That's the stomach meridian.
We don't exactly have a way tokind of map things out
(11:58):
scientifically yet, but there isat least this acknowledgement.
These are very real.
Insurance pays for acupuncturebecause it works.
It's like, yeah, that's comingto the point where we can
scientifically see and validatethese things that the sages and
the practitioners of oldersystems of medicine have been
telling us about forever.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
So wow, Great, great, yeah, and so maybe you could
help us and demonstrate atechnique that we could use and
and understand a little bit moreabout what this is in practice.
Right?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Absolutely.
We can kind of do a shortenedversion of a technique that I
share with all my students andclients.
It's called tap and breathe.
Essentially, you would tapthrough normally, you would tap
through all the end points andat the same time that we're
doing that, we would take on abreathing pattern where we're
just taking a gentle inhale.
Really deep breaths canactually worsen stage fright, so
(12:57):
that can be bad advice.
When someone tells you to take,just take a bunch of really
deep breaths, it's a good way tohave a panic attack, trust me.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah, exactly no, no former therapist, so I get it.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
It's just a gentle, normal inhale, but we extend the
length of the exhale becausewhen you have this leisurely
exhale, you're stimulating thevagus nerve in such a way that
says we're safe, everything'schill, there's no saber tooth
tiger around here, or I wouldn'tbe breathing in such a relaxed
way.
That's one of the reasons whysinging is so good for you,
(13:30):
because a singing is extended,exhales all over the place and
we're also using our voice box,which the vagus nerve innervates
the larynx, and we're alsousing our voice box, which the
vagus nerve innervates thelarynx.
So we're creating thesevibrations with our speaking or
singing voice that also tell thevagus nerve calm down.
That's why some people willtalk nonstop when they're
nervous, because they can't stop, and it's a way for them to
(13:52):
soothe vagus nerve.
Fascinating.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
That sound.
Yeah, you learn something newevery day.
I swear, this is awesome.
This is great, um so fantastic.
So, yeah, walk us through this.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
This sounds great so we'll just do two points that
are kind of easy to describe.
I know not everyone can see medue to differences in visual
ability, but also because somepeople are just listening to the
podcast rather than the video.
So we'll just use two pointsthat are easy to find.
The first one is called theself-acceptance point and it's
right on the heel of the hand,beneath kind of your pinky
(14:26):
knuckle.
You could see that little linein your hand.
That's the precise spot.
You don't have to be precise,as long as you're getting the
general area, you got the point.
So you could tap with yourfingers or you can bring the
heels of both your handstogether If you want to do it
like that, and you'll get thespot.
And this is called theself-acceptance point because
(14:46):
when we start any EFT sessionand we're going to use words, we
would say, even though I havethis nervousness or this
sensation or this tightness inmy stomach or my face feels hot,
I accept myself anyway, anykind of self-affirming statement
I'm good, I know, everything'sall right.
I trust whatever you want to say.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
I'm like.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I accept myself.
Boy, that was a tough one andit can be hard to say.
I've had people work with me intheir first few sessions.
They'll just start to cry whenthey try to say that they accept
themselves.
So it's obvious I accept myselfanyway.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, that's just not resonating girl.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Or I like for people that say I don't want to accept
myself, say, even though I don'twant to accept myself and I
have these feelings that I don'twant to accept myself, I'm
willing to give myself some timeright now, because that's what
you're doing.
I'm willing to learn how toaccept myself.
That's what I started with.
(15:47):
I said I don't want to, I don'taccept myself.
What does that even mean?
But I'm trying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something like that, you knowself-affirmative.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
And while we're at this, point, and there seems to
be a pace that you've got.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
There's a helpful pace.
It really you don't have tofocus on this part if you don't
want to, but there's a frequency.
I'm kind of going tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
That frequency seems to be verynatural for most people.
When they're tapping it'saround seven to eight
repetitions per second and thatjust so happens to land in the
(16:25):
theta brain state.
That's where we go when we'rein meditation, when we're being
really present with ourselves,when we're deeply relaxed.
So it's kind of the pace thatsomeone who's doing a journey
work with you or a shamanic typework, they will drum at about
that pace with the medicine drum.
It just helps us to go intothat meditative state.
It's also when you listen tobinaural beats.
(16:47):
A lot of them are at seven toeight hertz, because that puts
you right in that theta.
So you can tap that pace if youwant, if that feels good, and
it's just fun to know that,maybe why you're drawn to that
speed.
Yeah, Just curious.
Yeah.
So we would just take now agentle inhale nothing dramatic
and exhale Like you're blowingcandles out for one, two, three,
(17:12):
four, good, now that we knowthe drill.
Inhaling once more, just gently, and exhale, blowing out the
candle One, two, three, four,five, maybe, Okay, and inhaling
just normally and exhalingnormally, we're going to come to
(17:34):
the other side other hand, ifyou'd like to, if you have that
capacity.
Switching from left to rightbilateral stimulation helps both
sides of the brain to engagewith what we're doing and just
helps everything to happen.
So we're just inhaling oncemore, gently, and exhale.
This time we're going to hum tostimulate that vagus nerve.
(17:55):
If your hum is not quite thatlong, it's okay.
I'm just a singer, so I'm usedto holding notes out.
Inhaling once more and exhaleGood, and just follow a natural
(18:28):
impulse.
If you have a natural impulseto stretch your arm or to move a
little bit, following ournatural impulses helps the
nervous system regulate as well.
So, coming now to the secondeasy point, to find, it's at the
top of the head.
Following our natural impulseshelps the nervous system
regulate as well.
So, coming now to the secondeasy point, to find, it's at the
top of the head, there's aconvergence of meridian
(18:49):
endpoints there, but there's oneprimary one that we're going to
hit and if we just pat the topof the head you'll get it and
you can move your hand a littlearound a little bit If that
feels good.
We're just going to inhale oncemore gently.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Does anybody ever get an injury from this.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Anything could happen , I suppose, but it's not likely
.
Inhaling, this is pretty simpleand easy, and just exhale, hum,
again Inhaling.
(19:34):
Even though I have thiswhatever tension, stage fright
sensation, I'm working towardaccepting myself.
I'm giving myself this time.
Look at me, I'm trying.
I appreciate myself for tryingwhatever you want to say, and
with tap and breathe, you don'thave to say words, but you can
(19:54):
if it feels right.
Nice, inhaling once more andone last hum.
Wow, we're pausing our tapping.
Just notice how you feel it'spretty amazing actually.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
You know there's there's a physical sensation of
a calming sensation, and it'snot extreme.
It like, oh, I was anxious andnow I'm not anxious at all, or
anything like that.
Or I was tense and I'm nottense at all.
It's more gentle, it's just agentle difference.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Right, it doesn't insist upon itself, but it
definitely invites the body tolet go of being in that chronic
fight or flight and be like, hey, remember, this is where we
live, this is our real home.
And then the nervous systemsays, oh, and that was after
just what a minute?
I say five to 10 minutes, andthat will really get you settled
(21:09):
back in that calm and centeredstate and it won't.
It's not like taking adepressant or a tranquilizer,
where it will tranquilize youout of being able to be excited
and present that you'veregulated.
You're not constantly hyperaroused and hyper vigilant,
you're just prepared foranything because you're in
(21:30):
neutral.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah, and and you could.
I can sense what that would belike if I were in freeze mode
and it it forces your brain tocome out of that a bit.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Right, and so this into the subconscious and the
programming and conditioningfrom childhood.
There's more to unpack there,obviously, that someone would
want to work with a practitionerand or a therapist train who's
trauma-informed if you want towork through those types of
things, but on your own tap andbreathe is so effective and has
(22:10):
so many positive benefits in themoment when you're feeling
nervous, or even if you're not.
If you just do that every day,you're helping train your
nervous system that, hey, youknow how to shift.
Remember here's how to comeback to neutral, even though
life is, you know, inviting youto be stressed out in every
other moment about every otherthing.
We weren't wired for a worldthat's this overstimulating,
(22:33):
like it's a bit now.
Frankly, especially for women,we are definitely wired
differently.
We are more sensitized tostress as an evolutionary
advantage.
So it's super important forwomen to have some kind of daily
practice that helps yournervous system.
Remember your normal neutralsetting instead of this.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah, I know not of what you speak.
What's that?
I can't thank you enough.
This has been fantastic, but Iwant to know if somebody wants
to reach out to you and find outmore and chat with you, how can
they contact you?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
My website's a great place.
It's your perfect songcom andyou can engage with my free
resources.
I have a free overcoming stageright and and nerves course that
people can kind of get theirfeet wet.
The tap and breathe exercisesthere in its entirety.
I have an online course as well, and I also have a contact form
(23:30):
.
If someone has questions for meor just wants to chat about EFT
, you can get ahold of me thatway and book an appointment.
I also have a YouTube channel.
That's quite it's quite apotpourri.
I'm definitely a polymath, sothere's a number of different
things you can find on there.
You can find some of my musicas well as EFT videos, and that
(23:52):
channel is Creative, ConsciousLiving, so you can get to my
YouTube that way by searchingthat or my name.
I usually pop up from my nametoo.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Okay, so we've got um , your perfect song, um creative
, conscious living, and CarissaHolmes, yep, perfect, perfect.
So there's lots of ways to findyou, which I love.
This is fantastic.
It has been such a pleasure.
I'm just so sorry that it'sover that fast, so this has
really, really been great.
(24:22):
Thank you so much for sharingand taking time out of your busy
schedule to be with us today.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Thank you, laura.
I appreciate the opportunity toshare, you know, to help anyone
to break out, break out of that, that animal that's holding
them back, and move forward withgrace and ease and confidence.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, yeah, Thank you so much and and I want to thank
you, the audience also forlistening to the mosaic life
with Laura W and um, I hope thatyou have a great rest of your
day and try and use some ofthese techniques to improve your
day.
Daily days, daily activitieseach day.
(25:02):
So anyway, thank you again,Take care.
Welcome to the Mosaic Life with Laura W.
I am your host, lauraBogdan-Knesht, and this show is
presented to you by MosaicBusiness Consulting.
A mosaic is a bunch of piecesthat, when put together, make up
the whole in a really beautifulway.
This show discusses the variouspieces of a business throughout
different industries and howthese pieces, when put together
(00:30):
correctly, can help develop asmoother, more efficient and
effective running of yourbusiness.
To reach me, contact Laura atmosaicbusinessconsultingcom.
And today's show is going to bea little bit different because I
understand that Carissa isgoing to make us do a little bit
of stuff work on our own here.
So, anyway, today my guest isnone other than Carissa Holmes,
(00:53):
and I am so excited to have heron here.
She's a musician, author,speaker and certified accredited
emotional freedom technique orEFT tapping practitioner.
Her mission is to empowerpeople, to heal and inspire them
to create, and I got to tellyou it's just amazing what she
does.
So her greatest joy is writingand performing music on big
(01:17):
stages such as the ElectricForest Music Festival and
intimate community gatherings.
I like that idea where it's asmall group of people, but when
off stage, carissa helpsprofessionals overcoming the
fear of public speaking, stagefright and networking nerves so
that we can perform and presentwith more confidence.
(01:41):
So welcome to the show, carissa, it is absolutely great to have
you here.
More confidence.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
So welcome to the show, carissa.
It is absolutely great to haveyou here.
Thank you, laura, for having me.
I appreciate it.
I've had a chance to listen tosome of your previous episodes
and I really love your interviewstyle and it really is kind of
like you're giving people thegrout they need to pull their
mosaic together and really makeit form.
So it's wonderful.
Thank you, oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
It's very generous.
I am kind of curious, though.
You know when, when peoplestart doing something like what
you're doing, I'm alwayswondering what?
Why choose that?
You could be choosing how toteach, how to sing, you know, or
something along the lines.
So I'm curious what got youinto this?
(02:28):
And you know why, become an EFTpractitioner?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Right, it's such a good question because it wasn't
an active choice of mine.
I really thought that I wasjust going to be a pop star.
I got very close to that.
I was working with major recordlabels when I was young.
I was told I was next in lineto be signed and everything was
lined up and how it was supposedto be and it was just funny how
everything kind of fell apartand you know, all these very
unlikely stories kind ofunfolded and I'm like, why is
this happening?
And it was because I was meantto help others and just being on
(03:03):
stage as a pop star, I mean youcould say that it helps, that
music can be medicine, but I wasmeant to really help people
unpack what is preventing themfrom shining and becoming their
own star.
And it's, frankly, much moregratifying work for me to be.
I get on stage, I sing, I havea great time, it's fun, it's
medicine for me.
But I can also help someoneelse to get past the same thing
(03:26):
that I went through, which wasunbelievable amounts of stage
fright, to the point where Iwould have freeze responses
where I couldn't do anything.
Once I got past the freezes,there was a whole lot of crappy
performances, frankly, because Iwas so scared and I was shaking
and you're shaking and you're asinger, your voice shakes.
everyone can tell you're nervousand you know, I did so many
(03:49):
poor performances before Ifinally got to the point where I
was free.
I said you know what I got tohelp other people that are
dealing with this as well.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Well, it's fantastic and I can't imagine how many of
the entrepreneurs andsolopreneurs or business owners
that I know that have to speakoften either in networking
meetings to pitch or to talk toothers, etc.
Or to get on stage or give aworkshop or something along
(04:20):
those lines, and I'm wondering,you know how helpful this could
be for them.
But I'm also wondering if youcan describe for me or tell me
more about what is EFT.
You know, it's one thing tohear the words, but what does it
?
What is it?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Well, eft is the emotional freedom technique.
It is a body mind modality.
It's a somatic release.
Therapy is somatic means of thebody.
So we are using our fingers totap on meridian endpoints on the
face and the body and the hands.
These are the same points thatan acupuncturist uses and puts a
needle into when we getacupuncture.
(05:00):
But we're just using tapping noneedles, thankfully and we're
stimulating those meridianendpoints and it helps to
release whatever it is thatwe're just using tapping no
needles, thankfully and we'restimulating those meridian
endpoints and it helps torelease whatever it is that
we're holding or fighting orrepressing within ourselves
which is causing the innerconflict which is the core root
of stage fright.
We're at war with ourself andwhen you're at war with yourself
(05:21):
, you can't win, no matter howit turns out, unless you're
coming to a place of harmony andagreement.
There was no victory there.
You just suppressed a part ofyourself so that you could move
on and do whatever task youwanted to do.
So EFT helps bring us to aplace of self-acceptance, of
helping the part of us thatfeels unsafe and is generating
(05:42):
the stage right, helping thatinner animal feel safe so that
it's not pulling us back fromexpanding and getting onto that
stage at TEDx and giving aspeech or going to a networking
meeting and not feeling nervousand awkward in the corner, that
inner animal, helping it feelsafe, we can expand with ease
(06:03):
and grace.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, and so how do we do that?
You know how does that processwork, because it sounds like
it's not just about tapping andmeridians, which I would love
for you to describe.
What is the meridian?
But you know just what is itthat?
What does it do for us?
(06:26):
That then leads us intosomething else.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
What we're talking about here and this is one of
the one of the three kinds ofmain things we can do to help
ourselves is practicing nervoussystem regulation.
Eft helps tremendously withthat, and what nervous system
regulation is is what we used tocall stress management Back in
the eighties.
We'd say you need better stressmanagement, and we didn't know
that it's about the nervoussystem being regulated, meaning
(06:52):
you have the capacity to bringyourself back to a neutral, rest
and digest state Once you havebeen in fight, flight or freeze
for some reason hopefully a goodreason but you have this
capacity to shift and come backto your natural state, which is
neutral, and we're notconstantly staying in this hyper
(07:13):
aroused, hyper vigilant,stressed mindset that our
society unfortunately fosters alot of having that capacity just
to come back to neutral, andthat is how EFT helps us with
regulation.
That is the number one thingthat can help prevent and bring
that stage fright down, when thenerve system understands how to
handle high sensation withoutgetting stuck in a fight flight
(07:36):
response.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Okay, and it sounds like it can also then help with
things outside of stage.
Fright, I mean.
So what are some of thesethings that you know I can't?
I just can't imagine that it'sjust for this.
So what?
What else can it help with?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
There's plenty of research and there's a
searchable directory.
It's actually a really goodsearch engine.
On EFT internationalorg websiteyou can read about all the
research and the clinical thingsthat have been done with EFT.
It's really good for PTSD.
They've done a lot of work withveterans and PTSD.
I helped healed myself fromCPTSD using somatic techniques
(08:21):
like EFT along with therapy.
It's really good for addictions, phobias.
Phobias can go awaysurprisingly quickly with EFT.
It's a form of exposure therapy, but that helps a person stay
calm while they're being exposed, so it works a little faster.
It's also really good for foodcravings.
(08:42):
I have none Right, I'm thinkingabout the chocolate bar on my
kitchen counter.
It helps the emotional drive towant to eat, to comfort oneself
for something, or anhabituation toward eating a
certain food.
It breaks that programming upand makes it a lot easier to
change your habits.
(09:03):
For so many things we say inthe business it's a joke.
Just tap on everything, like goto the doctor when you need to,
but also tap on everything.
Tap, tap on your way there andsee.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Wow, and, and so you were saying how it can help us
regulate our, our system.
But what is what else you know?
How else can it help us?
How, like I can only imagine.
Okay, so I'm regulating mysystem.
Yeah, does it stop there, or isthere?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
more.
There's much more.
It's a really good way tounpack conditioning from our
childhood, unhelpfulsubconscious programming.
All of the things that drivewho we are and our behavior are
not in the little part of ourconscious mind that's above the
water.
It's like the iceberg analogy.
It's the 90% that's under thesubconscious programming that
(09:59):
creates our day.
Eft is a way to become aware ofthe patterns that we're seeing
in our life, where they'recoming from, what beliefs are
driving these patterns, andusing EFT and this is really
something that should be donewith a therapist we're not real
good at seeing ourselves, youknow it's like you can't see the
forest for the trees.
Plus, we deserve support.
(10:19):
You know, especially if there'strauma involved, you need
someone.
Pack all that programming.
You can take the emotionalcharge off of events that
happened early in your life thatare driving unwanted patterns
because you're stuck.
There's this emotion that'sstuck or there's this
programming in your subconsciousthat it's not safe to speak up
(10:39):
because uncle Robert, you know,hit me in the back of the head
when I spoke up one day.
You know it's things like thatfrom early in life that tend to
get stuck from our formativeyears and EFT with a
practitioner can reallyeffectively help you unpack and
break down those emotional kindof crystallized things.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Wow, really cool and and so you know you talk about
EFT and the techniques, andyou've talked about hitting the
meridians, which again okay.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
You can kind of like an energy pathway in the body.
They have.
Now that our scientificequipment is a little more
advanced, they have been able todetect these meridian endpoints
with equipment.
There are areas whereelectrical resistance of the
skin changes fairly dramaticallyfrom the rest of the body and,
sure enough, those are thepoints where the meridians are
(11:36):
opening up onto the skin.
So we at least have somescientific awareness of these
points that have been in othersystems.
Like traditional Chinesemedicine, people could see the
meridian.
You know they were had theclairvoyance to be able to.
Oh well, I see this line goingfrom here down to your stomach.
That's the stomach meridian.
We don't exactly have a way tokind of map things out
(11:58):
scientifically yet, but there isat least this acknowledgement.
These are very real.
Insurance pays for acupuncturebecause it works.
It's like, yeah, that's comingto the point where we can
scientifically see and validatethese things that the sages and
the practitioners of oldersystems of medicine have been
telling us about forever.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
So wow, Great, great, yeah, and so maybe you could
help us and demonstrate atechnique that we could use and
and understand a little bit moreabout what this is in practice.
Right?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Absolutely.
We can kind of do a shortenedversion of a technique that I
share with all my students andclients.
It's called tap and breathe.
Essentially, you would tapthrough normally, you would tap
through all the end points andat the same time that we're
doing that, we would take on abreathing pattern where we're
just taking a gentle inhale.
Really deep breaths canactually worsen stage fright, so
(12:57):
that can be bad advice.
When someone tells you to take,just take a bunch of really
deep breaths, it's a good way tohave a panic attack, trust me.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah, exactly no, no former therapist, so I get it.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
It's just a gentle, normal inhale, but we extend the
length of the exhale becausewhen you have this leisurely
exhale, you're stimulating thevagus nerve in such a way that
says we're safe, everything'schill, there's no saber tooth
tiger around here, or I wouldn'tbe breathing in such a relaxed
way.
That's one of the reasons whysinging is so good for you,
(13:30):
because a singing is extended,exhales all over the place and
we're also using our voice box,which the vagus nerve innervates
the larynx, and we're alsousing our voice box, which the
vagus nerve innervates thelarynx.
So we're creating thesevibrations with our speaking or
singing voice that also tell thevagus nerve calm down.
That's why some people willtalk nonstop when they're
nervous, because they can't stop, and it's a way for them to
(13:52):
soothe vagus nerve.
Fascinating.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
That sound.
Yeah, you learn something newevery day.
I swear, this is awesome.
This is great, um so fantastic.
So, yeah, walk us through this.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
This sounds great so we'll just do two points that
are kind of easy to describe.
I know not everyone can see medue to differences in visual
ability, but also because somepeople are just listening to the
podcast rather than the video.
So we'll just use two pointsthat are easy to find.
The first one is called theself-acceptance point and it's
right on the heel of the hand,beneath kind of your pinky
(14:26):
knuckle.
You could see that little linein your hand.
That's the precise spot.
You don't have to be precise,as long as you're getting the
general area, you got the point.
So you could tap with yourfingers or you can bring the
heels of both your handstogether If you want to do it
like that, and you'll get thespot.
And this is called theself-acceptance point because
(14:46):
when we start any EFT sessionand we're going to use words, we
would say, even though I havethis nervousness or this
sensation or this tightness inmy stomach or my face feels hot,
I accept myself anyway, anykind of self-affirming statement
I'm good, I know, everything'sall right.
I trust whatever you want to say.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
I'm like.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I accept myself.
Boy, that was a tough one andit can be hard to say.
I've had people work with me intheir first few sessions.
They'll just start to cry whenthey try to say that they accept
themselves.
So it's obvious I accept myselfanyway.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, that's just not resonating girl.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Or I like for people that say I don't want to accept
myself, say, even though I don'twant to accept myself and I
have these feelings that I don'twant to accept myself, I'm
willing to give myself some timeright now, because that's what
you're doing.
I'm willing to learn how toaccept myself.
That's what I started with.
(15:47):
I said I don't want to, I don'taccept myself.
What does that even mean?
But I'm trying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something like that, you knowself-affirmative.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
And while we're at this, point, and there seems to
be a pace that you've got.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
There's a helpful pace.
It really you don't have tofocus on this part if you don't
want to, but there's a frequency.
I'm kind of going tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
That frequency seems to be verynatural for most people.
When they're tapping it'saround seven to eight
repetitions per second and thatjust so happens to land in the
(16:25):
theta brain state.
That's where we go when we'rein meditation, when we're being
really present with ourselves,when we're deeply relaxed.
So it's kind of the pace thatsomeone who's doing a journey
work with you or a shamanic typework, they will drum at about
that pace with the medicine drum.
It just helps us to go intothat meditative state.
It's also when you listen tobinaural beats.
(16:47):
A lot of them are at seven toeight hertz, because that puts
you right in that theta.
So you can tap that pace if youwant, if that feels good, and
it's just fun to know that,maybe why you're drawn to that
speed.
Yeah, Just curious.
Yeah.
So we would just take now agentle inhale nothing dramatic
and exhale Like you're blowingcandles out for one, two, three,
(17:12):
four, good, now that we knowthe drill.
Inhaling once more, just gently, and exhale, blowing out the
candle One, two, three, four,five, maybe, Okay, and inhaling
just normally and exhalingnormally, we're going to come to
(17:34):
the other side other hand, ifyou'd like to, if you have that
capacity.
Switching from left to rightbilateral stimulation helps both
sides of the brain to engagewith what we're doing and just
helps everything to happen.
So we're just inhaling oncemore, gently, and exhale.
This time we're going to hum tostimulate that vagus nerve.
(17:55):
If your hum is not quite thatlong, it's okay.
I'm just a singer, so I'm usedto holding notes out.
Inhaling once more and exhaleGood, and just follow a natural
(18:28):
impulse.
If you have a natural impulseto stretch your arm or to move a
little bit, following ournatural impulses helps the
nervous system regulate as well.
So, coming now to the secondeasy point, to find, it's at the
top of the head.
Following our natural impulseshelps the nervous system
regulate as well.
So, coming now to the secondeasy point, to find, it's at the
top of the head, there's aconvergence of meridian
(18:49):
endpoints there, but there's oneprimary one that we're going to
hit and if we just pat the topof the head you'll get it and
you can move your hand a littlearound a little bit If that
feels good.
We're just going to inhale oncemore gently.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Does anybody ever get an injury from this.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Anything could happen , I suppose, but it's not likely
.
Inhaling, this is pretty simpleand easy, and just exhale, hum,
again Inhaling.
(19:34):
Even though I have thiswhatever tension, stage fright
sensation, I'm working towardaccepting myself.
I'm giving myself this time.
Look at me, I'm trying.
I appreciate myself for tryingwhatever you want to say, and
with tap and breathe, you don'thave to say words, but you can
(19:54):
if it feels right.
Nice, inhaling once more andone last hum.
Wow, we're pausing our tapping.
Just notice how you feel it'spretty amazing actually.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
You know there's there's a physical sensation of
a calming sensation, and it'snot extreme.
It like, oh, I was anxious andnow I'm not anxious at all, or
anything like that.
Or I was tense and I'm nottense at all.
It's more gentle, it's just agentle difference.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Right, it doesn't insist upon itself, but it
definitely invites the body tolet go of being in that chronic
fight or flight and be like, hey, remember, this is where we
live, this is our real home.
And then the nervous systemsays, oh, and that was after
just what a minute?
I say five to 10 minutes, andthat will really get you settled
(21:09):
back in that calm and centeredstate and it won't.
It's not like taking adepressant or a tranquilizer,
where it will tranquilize youout of being able to be excited
and present that you'veregulated.
You're not constantly hyperaroused and hyper vigilant,
you're just prepared foranything because you're in
(21:30):
neutral.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah, and and you could.
I can sense what that would belike if I were in freeze mode
and it it forces your brain tocome out of that a bit.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Right, and so this into the subconscious and the
programming and conditioningfrom childhood.
There's more to unpack there,obviously, that someone would
want to work with a practitionerand or a therapist train who's
trauma-informed if you want towork through those types of
things, but on your own tap andbreathe is so effective and has
(22:10):
so many positive benefits in themoment when you're feeling
nervous, or even if you're not.
If you just do that every day,you're helping train your
nervous system that, hey, youknow how to shift.
Remember here's how to comeback to neutral, even though
life is, you know, inviting youto be stressed out in every
other moment about every otherthing.
We weren't wired for a worldthat's this overstimulating,
(22:33):
like it's a bit now.
Frankly, especially for women,we are definitely wired
differently.
We are more sensitized tostress as an evolutionary
advantage.
So it's super important forwomen to have some kind of daily
practice that helps yournervous system.
Remember your normal neutralsetting instead of this.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah, I know not of what you speak.
What's that?
I can't thank you enough.
This has been fantastic, but Iwant to know if somebody wants
to reach out to you and find outmore and chat with you, how can
they contact you?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
My website's a great place.
It's your perfect songcom andyou can engage with my free
resources.
I have a free overcoming stageright and and nerves course that
people can kind of get theirfeet wet.
The tap and breathe exercisesthere in its entirety.
I have an online course as well, and I also have a contact form
(23:30):
.
If someone has questions for meor just wants to chat about EFT
, you can get ahold of me thatway and book an appointment.
I also have a YouTube channel.
That's quite it's quite apotpourri.
I'm definitely a polymath, sothere's a number of different
things you can find on there.
You can find some of my musicas well as EFT videos, and that
(23:52):
channel is Creative, ConsciousLiving, so you can get to my
YouTube that way by searchingthat or my name.
I usually pop up from my nametoo.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Okay, so we've got um , your perfect song, um creative
, conscious living, and CarissaHolmes, yep, perfect, perfect.
So there's lots of ways to findyou, which I love.
This is fantastic.
It has been such a pleasure.
I'm just so sorry that it'sover that fast, so this has
really, really been great.
(24:22):
Thank you so much for sharingand taking time out of your busy
schedule to be with us today.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Thank you, laura.
I appreciate the opportunity toshare, you know, to help anyone
to break out, break out of that, that animal that's holding
them back, and move forward withgrace and ease and confidence.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, yeah, Thank you so much and and I want to thank
you, the audience also forlistening to the mosaic life
with Laura W and um, I hope thatyou have a great rest of your
day and try and use some ofthese techniques to improve your
day.
Daily days, daily activitieseach day.
(25:02):
So anyway, thank you again,Take care.
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