July 10, 2025 • 27 mins
TMIT Teammates #2: Julianne Annunziata Peters on Roots, Recipes & Reinvention
We’re joined in person by our dear friend and neighbor, Julianne Annunziata Peters. Julianne shares her family’s move from NYC to Delray Beach, how a serendipitous beach moment (thanks to our daughters!) reconnected us after decades, and the lasting legacy of her mother’s influence on how she now parents her own daughter.
We talk about:
- Moving during COVID and finding home in a new place
- The bittersweet balance of nostalgia and new beginnings
- Honoring legacy while creating a family culture of your own
- The sacred (and often repeated!) role of storytelling around the dinner table
Julianne’s reflections are warm, generous, and a reminder that family culture doesn’t stay in one place — it travels with us. Sometimes in the form of a handwritten recipe box.
🎧 Listen now and follow along @themostimpthing
#TheMostImportantThingPodcast #familyculture #intentionalparenting #spirit
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi everybody, today's teammate teammate is Julianne A Nunziata
Peters. Julianne and I actually go way
back. We both grew up in Pelham, NY. 2
of her older sisters actually babysat my brother and me.
Julianne and I were on the swim team together.
We went to the same elementary school and her husband Tyler
even roomed at NYU with one of my closest friends.
(00:22):
But we hadn't seen each other inyears until our kids happened to
meet on the beach one day and wehad one of those classic small
world moments. Fast forward to today, and
Danielle and I feel especially lucky to call Julianne our
neighbor and dear friend. We're so glad to have her here
in person on the show today. Hey, Julianne.
Hello, thank you so much for having me.
Yeah, thanks so much for coming in person.
(00:43):
Yeah, this is really great in the flesh.
So fun and exciting. How did you and Tyler decide on
Del Rey? So Tyler and I moved from New
York City. So we moved just after sort of
still during in 2021, COVID and New York City, which was
obviously a tough time and, and place to be.
(01:03):
Our daughter Caroline, who's now6, had just turned one.
We felt very cooped up in our apartment and that things were
changing and it was time to to kind of get out.
We had a friend from New York moved to Delray.
I had never heard of Delray, youknow, growing up.
We'd come down to Florida, Miami, you know, Palm Beach,
Boca. I knew never heard of Delray,
(01:26):
but immediately just sort of liked the energy.
I mean, I think honestly it feltlike we'd broken out of jail a
little bit coming from New York where it was so shut down, you
know, going into another winter.And here it just felt, you know,
open and free and and you know, like you said, lots of reasons
to come down. They can't argue with the
weather. So I think though originally
(01:50):
Caroline was, was young. I mean, she I guess was not even
quite 2 when we first visited. And then I think it was just two
when we moved. So honestly, I feel like it's
sort of a selfish adult decisionat that point.
I wasn't thinking about schools or necessarily, you know, the
rest of our lives or her childhood or whatever it was.
(02:10):
I think it was a little bit let's let's try this out.
We feel a little stuck where we are.
It's, you know, home isn't necessarily home anymore.
Can you talk a little bit more about that?
So like, when you and Tyler think about staying in Delray
Beach and putting down roots here, what are some of the
things that really are keeping you here?
Yeah, it's, it's a good questionbecause it's I think I have the
(02:36):
last few years, I keep waiting for that moment of Oh no, we
need to be back home. And I still think I call it
home. And it's, it's a strange
feeling, but you know, the, the,the hardest thing I'd say is
being away from, from family number one.
I mean, I think that's, you know, that that's the only thing
(02:57):
when I think about, you know, potentially going back is just
proximity to my father and, and my sisters.
And, and of course we have, you know, good friends there.
I think it's just there's a different energy and outlook on
life here that I think, you know, it's probably not
particular to Pelham or New York, but sort of the Northeast
(03:18):
in my mind, maybe elsewhere. But that's where I grew up.
And what I know that, you know, like it's life's just a grind
and a struggle and you're alwaysjust working, working to get to
to something, you know, and especially living in New York
City, you feel this or I certainly did.
You know, I'm in the greatest place on earth and nothing's
better than this. And you're very focused on, you
know, I'm a new sacrifice on space and, you know, and all
(03:43):
these different things. But I am in the greatest, you
know, place on Earth when you I think it takes leaving there to
realize, well, there's there's so much else out there.
And it's not necessarily that, you know, the greatest thing on
Earth, but I think the people seem to just enjoy life more
here, you know, and not obviously there, you know, mix
(04:03):
of different things, but but notat the expense of
responsibility, but you can do both.
And the reason that you work hard and put in this time is
that is to then enjoy, you know,that hard work.
And that's something that actually Tyler sort of
originally pointed out to me that I've didn't think of at
first. I think at first it was sort of
the weather is great and you know, we're outside a lot more
(04:25):
and, you know, now I I definitely see that.
And I think it's just, I don't know, people are people are
happier. They don't take themselves as
seriously. It's just it's been a sort of a
breath of fresh air in that way.I love that the FAU basketball
team, or maybe just FAU in general, their tagline is
winning in paradise. And I feel like when you take
(04:47):
New Yorkers that are really goodat the grind and you put them in
this space, it's actually a beautiful balance because we're
not going to lose that New York City toughness.
Yeah, right. And like work ethic, but now
when the day is done, I get to go and watch the sunset on the
beach as it goes to coming home to my mark cramped apartment,
(05:09):
which is also, which was great. We, I think we all like had our
20s there and had our young kidsthere, but I don't think
anything other than COVID would have gotten us out of Manhattan.
And I'm so grateful that it did.Like I we, I was there for 16
years. I never I didn't know what I
didn't know. Do you know what I mean?
Of course. So I too am really grateful for
(05:30):
the balance that because you're never going to take the New York
finance girl out of me and I don't want to, right.
But it's really nice to put me in this kind of paradise
setting. So I really do feel like it's
the. Best of both worlds, absolutely,
I agree. No.
And it's so cool that we we all found ourselves here.
I mean, it's very special. Yeah, we just, we did an episode
on Spirit where we talked about serendipity and synchronicity.
(05:54):
And so obviously, like serendipity is a happy accident.
And then there's this idea of synchronicity, which is when
like the universe collides to dosomething that really changes
your life. And I truly believe that meeting
you on the beach that day was just like synchronicity in
action. Hunter Ray Neufeld has never,
ever gone up to another little girl and said, Mommy, I want to
(06:14):
play with her. Like, that was the one never
before and never after. And I don't even know what
happened, but it was like such awonderful.
I feel like both of us were pretty new to our Delray Beach
experience too. And it was like, hello.
Like, I'm clinging everybody to her.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, like fish out of water kind of like
it gave me so much like validation that you all were
(06:36):
here too. You know what I mean?
I'm just so grateful because I feel like we are strangers in a
strange land a little bit and navigating people in schools and
cultures different. And you and I are targeting
different courses like, you know, but we can really we have
like a shared foundation, which has been such a gift.
I. Think, No, I couldn't agree
(06:56):
more. It was that, Yeah, I I forgot
exactly how that day unfolded, but it really was just.
It happened. Yeah, that's a small, small
world. But yeah, no, I feel grateful to
have ended up here and to met you guys or see met, you know,
run into you and that way you get and reconnected with you.
Yeah, exactly. I mean, yeah, it's what, 20
years apart at least, right? Probably haven't seen.
(07:18):
Your. Swim Team.
Yeah, right. I know this.
Girl. Yeah, those are the that's those
you. I have very fond memories of
those summers and at PCC that was that was a good.
So what is? It back for your family culture
today because I mean, obviously you mentioned that you have
three sisters and you liked a lot about growing up.
(07:40):
So when you think about family culture, you know both back then
and now what what really comes to mind.
So I think for me, the biggest thing is just feeling like you
are part of a team and that you belong somewhere.
I think that sense of being tethered to something bigger
than than yourself. I think when I've sort of felt
(08:03):
the most uneasy in my life is when you I feel untethered.
And I think I always come back to that.
And in talking of, of, you know,about family culture and, and
when I started listening to yourpodcast, of course, you know,
I'm thinking of creating that for my, you know, myself and,
and for my daughter. But I immediately think of my
upbringing and just because I did, I have, you know, very fond
(08:28):
and positive memories of childhood growing up, you know,
in a big family. And I think, you know, one of
the challenges for me now is howdo I create that culture with
one child that I had, you know, with, with six of us, you know,
versus a small family of three. But I, I think for me, it's,
(08:49):
it's looking to my parents, you know, especially my mom, how she
really created culture in our home, our traditions, the things
that I looked forward to. And then how, you know, how do
I, you know, make Caroline have that same, you know, I want her
to look back on her childhood and feel the way that I did.
(09:11):
So I think a lot of it is, you know, chasing that a bit.
And of course, you know, nothingwas was perfect, but you know,
and you can fine tune things here and there.
But I want her to overall come away with the same feeling I
did. And I think that's a challenge
for me now is how do I do that? Sure.
What were some of the things like?
What did it mean to be in an ansiata?
(09:32):
What does it mean today? Yeah, so I think it's like going
back to this kind of idea of a, of a team.
I think it was definitely a a sense of belonging.
But with that came responsibility and some
expectations. And I think it was, you know,
for, for, for my parents, they were not overly strict or, but
(09:55):
they were very traditional in their, in their sort of views
of, you know, they could just dowell in school, have a good
grades. You know, it was respect us,
listen to us. Like it was, you know, somewhat
of a formula and we were expected to sort of perform to
(10:17):
the best of our abilities. I think that for my parents,
they, you know, felt like they gave us all the opportunities in
the world and we were not to squander them.
And so I didn't feel an enormousamount of stress or, or pressure
or competition, But I do think that is also related to the age
gap or as I think the older onesgrowing up in the same house
(10:41):
really as peers at the same timewas probably, you know, caused a
little bit more pressure and, and angst potentially and
competition, you know, among them.
But I, I think it was just more so do your best, you know,
you're, you're a kid. So you're, you know, you don't
have other responsibilities outside of school and being a
(11:03):
good person and do those things.And then, you know, with that
came all of the wonderful thingsand the joy and the, you know,
we had a lot of, you know, just family traditions.
I mean, my mom, just everything was special that she created and
put on, even if it was, I mean, she cooked meals for us every
single day and we all sat down to a family dinner, which you
(11:25):
guys have an episode on. And, you know, something that I
to also struggle with because wedon't really have that.
And you know, every holiday, every everything was, was, you
know, from special occasions to to day-to-day, you know, she she
made very, very special. So yeah, I've started rambling
(11:47):
and lost. No, that's great.
No, that's great. I wonder.
On the one hand, I feel like youare so lucky and fortunate to
have that. How does it feel as an adult?
Like, do you feel pressure to dothat?
Not that you should, right? No, no, yes and no.
I think I, I think it's more so that I I put the pressure on
(12:12):
myself. I really want to have that and I
want to, I think so much, you know, my mom passed away 1010
years in February. And I think, you know, all the
more it's feels like trying to continue or or recreate sort of
that legacy and that, you know, who she was.
(12:34):
And I think a lot of, I mean, I know a lot of what I certainly
model myself after is, is, is her, but my relationship with
her to me was, you know, the themost special in my life.
And I think a lot of what I'm attempting to do is sort of
recreate that with with Carolinenow, which obviously it's, it's
not exact. And we personality wise we're,
(12:57):
we're all different. So, you know, we're, we're
navigating that. But I think it's, it's more so a
a a pressure. I wouldn't even call it back.
So I think it has somewhat of a negative connotation.
It's just something that I really want to do for for
myself. And then I hope Caroline takes
away and has feels that bond, you know, that that I deal with
her, of course, but but tell with my mom as well.
(13:20):
So that's. Beautiful.
Thank you for. Sharing.
These Pella moms in the 80s and 90s, I tell you, they like, say
what you will about the their kids and all of the kids that we
were surrounded with, there's probably just a great normalized
distribution of good and bad. But there was something special
about the moms in that town. I think that you, you could have
(13:45):
just described my mom talking about the holidays, talking
about dinner every night, you know, making it special.
Like, how did you know in the inthe moment that that was a good
thing to celebrate as opposed torun away from?
Because I pushed against, I pushed against that a lot.
I don't know, you know, I, I, I think I've just started thinking
(14:09):
about all of these things now asI mean, really from, from
listening to your podcast, it's been nice to reflect.
But you know, I credit my, my parents and I think my, you
know, my older siblings definitely helped create, you
know, create and shape that culture too.
And I, I don't, I don't know, itjust, it always felt, I always
(14:31):
looked forward to it. It was always fun, you know, and
we had of course friends and different activities that we
were involved in. But, but for me, I don't know, I
was always more of a homebody, Ithink.
And I would come back to that asfirst choice.
And so, yeah, I don't, I don't know exactly what it was, but I
(14:56):
still, you know, going into my dad's house, I have, I get that
feeling of, of being a child again, like on Christmas
morning, like, I can, I can still feel it somehow, you know,
And it's just I, I just I, I credit my, my parents with,
with, with creating that. Yeah.
(15:17):
I don't, I don't know, exactly 4times over.
Yeah. Well, maybe that's maybe by the
time they got to me, it had it down.
So maybe there was some. Yeah.
We need to have another one. No, you're.
Too, No, you know Speaking of that house and going back to
that house, your dad is moving right and you so you are going
in a couple of days for your final.
(15:39):
Yes, your final stay at the house.
I know it's it's going to be emotional.
I haven't, there was a period oftime in high school where if my
parents mentioned selling the house, I would just burst into
tears. And, you know, and I'm not, I'm
not there right now. But I always thought, I think
part of this, you know, I'll endup in Pelham was and I will end
(15:59):
up in that house. And I wanted to somehow exactly
recreate what I, you know, the experience I had.
And again, I don't that's shifted.
And so I don't have that, you know, feeling of missing out on
on that. I I feel like I've been a good
I'm, I'm where I should be, but the nostalgia factor and I am
(16:21):
not good with change. I could very it's it's, you
know, I know I'm going to be OK,but going through it is
stressful for me. So it's been, you know, I think
a while coming. I'm surprised he actually stayed
in the house as long as he did. But I'm I'm thankful to have
this one sort of last hurrah andalso just have been able to
(16:45):
what, when we transition to living here, have that as a home
base still, I think it made the move that much kind of easier to
do, probably much to the chagrinof my father, who did not want
us to go. But it felt like I always had a
place to go back to. And not only, and I'm sure we'll
find that, you know, elsewhere and I feel very comfortable in
(17:08):
my sister's homes and whatever else.
But it just, it made it made that easy to feel like I'm going
back to this place that has meant everything to me I spent
my entire life in. And it's always there for us.
So I think, you know, packing itup in a couple weeks is going to
be traumatic, But I'm, I'm very lucky.
(17:29):
I, I'm grateful that it worked out this way because it's under
contract, but we don't, I, I wasn't sure if we were going to
be able to come back to it because he put it on, you know,
the mark in the spring. But we're in a good spot where,
you know, we'll, we'll, we'll get to stay.
And I think for me, you know, I try to tell myself, especially
if, you know, my mom is not in the house anymore.
It's, you know, it's the memories, it's the feelings.
(17:51):
It's yes, the house. It does that for me, but it's
not the house that did it. Yeah.
Is there is there anything from the house that you can bring
down Florida? Well, my dad is just basically
if you guys want anything from the house, he will give you
anything that is not like naileddown to the ground.
He is just trying to in purge mode.
(18:13):
But there's nothing made. I mean, so my mom again, was, I
mean, a fantastic cook Hostess. She just everything was, was
special and nice and she had so many, you know, like serving
dishes and things that just remind me of holidays in
(18:37):
particular. But just, you know, and any kind
of family dinner get together and there's some a few of those
items that I'd like to have it just remind.
It makes me feel close to her. I mean, one of our traditions
that I like to to attempt to continue on with Caroline is, is
cooking together. We used to, we used to make, you
know, cookies for Christmas or, you know, bake XY and Z.
(19:00):
And so having something like that actually her rest, she has
a an very old fashioned file boxof recipes handwritten that
that's that's 100% the thing I'mtaking.
That's amazing. Yeah.
I mean, no rhyme or reason. I think there's like the
alphabetized tabs, but everything is just, you know,
throw thrown in there so that that I will take with me the
(19:23):
rest. You know, it's, it's stuff.
They have a lot of nice stuff, but I, I'm, I now I'm starting
anew. Yeah.
Speaking of starting anew, what are some of the traditions that
you and your sisters want to carry on?
You know, you all have your own families, but I imagine you're
pretty intentional about seeing one another and staying in
touch. How do you make sure to?
What's the forcing function? What's the holiday like?
(19:45):
What do you? Guys do to.
To make it stick. That I think was is a huge thing
that, you know, without explicitly saying it, my mom
always wanted us to, to maintain, you know, being close.
And she said that, you know, definitely set the stage for
that. And I think again, without even
necessarily talking about it, wealso, you know, we feel the same
(20:07):
way that I mean, we, we want to spend that time together, but I
think it's also sort of an ode to her as well that we keep.
That we, you know, maintain those traditions.
So one of the things when I was first moving, as I said, I
promise I will come back for every health day because that
was always very special time forus.
And we have figured out and now,you know, certain in laws come
(20:31):
for certain holidays and not others.
And, but kind of the, the big ones in our family, we're all
together and my, my sister Michelle has taken over posting
duties for the most part. And we actually have, there's
another family from town, my parents and this family, the,
the parents of that family started this Christmas Eve
(20:54):
tradition in, I don't know, probably the 70s.
And now we still have that we've, the party has dwindled.
It's, you know, it's, it's gotten much smaller.
But there's one family in particular that still comes over
to Michelle's house on ChristmasEve.
And it's, you know, the, the, the parents, then, you know, the
next generation, now they all have children.
(21:16):
And so it's it, it feels like we're recreating that in a very,
you know, special way. Absolutely it there.
It really is. I mean, we had just like you
mentioned a tradition with neighbors on Christmas Eve party
at our house, but all the neighbors and all their family
(21:36):
and friends were welcome. And I grew up in a in a family
where my cousins on both sides not just knew each other, but
saw each other very regularly asa result of that forcing
function of getting everyone together.
Sounds like as you described when you mentioned the in laws
coming like that's kind of a special not so common thing.
Right, A good point. I didn't think about it that
way. And I think part of it is we are
(21:57):
for opinionated women who say weare maintaining this Christmas
Eve tradition. But there is a definitely, I
think the, the, I think it's, it's palpable to the others that
this is, this is fun and this ismeaningful.
And I think, I don't think anybody complaints about doing
it. I think it's become a tradition
that has grown and that, you know, we love adding, adding new
(22:22):
people to the, to the mix. So that is, yeah, that is very
special. It's great that you can maintain
that bond and also live your ownand chart your own life down
here. Yeah.
And I think that's, that's been a good, I think it's been a good
balance for me. And I, you know, one of the
things I've as the youngest, I don't know if that's related or
(22:42):
not, but there were times, you know, Speaking of family
dynamics that, you know, I felt overly involved in other
people's lives and sort of the, the peacekeeper to some degree.
And this has been sort of a great change because I get a
little bit of distance from that, but still maintain, you
(23:06):
know, the the closeness and and all of the positivity.
But it's yeah, it it's definitely nice to have your
own, your own space and and lifeand then focus on that totally
crazy tangent. But I just I just wanted to say
you're the episode on family stories.
I really loved. And I made me think of how much
(23:31):
of A storyteller, particularly my dad, but my parents are and
were, and I'd never really thought about it until you, you
brought it up. But I think that was sort of
exactly how they taught us all of our, you know, values and
what was sort of expected for, of us and, and the opportunities
(23:54):
given to us. Because I think, you know, for,
for them, there was both kids of, you know, immigrants who
came here and had nothing and then created this life, you
know, for, for themselves and, and for us.
And I never really stood, you know, took a step back to think
about that. But I just, I mean, I have the
same story of, you know, my grandfather coming here and
(24:15):
everything he accomplished. And we think we all probably at
some point wrote some paper about him in the school and
whatever else. And it's just so much of my
childhood, you know, through nowis just is storytelling and
hearing about, you know, the, the struggles and the feats of
those, you know, people that came before me.
So I thought that that was I, I think that's a really great
(24:39):
thing. And I'm trying to, you know,
I've certainly repeated the stories I've heard and I'm
hoping that we can come up with some new ones and have our own
experiences. But I think storytelling is a
great is a is a huge part for for anyway for for me and our
family culture growing up. I love that.
I love that. That's that's a great notice.
(25:01):
Thank you for calling that out of.
Course. Cool.
Well, Mr. Nunziata, we need somesome tips on on how to
incorporate story into our family.
It was that around the table, around the dinner table?
Was that just like when you're brushing your teeth?
He'd just be like, hey, did I ever tell you about?
The time a lot, a lot of times around the table, which we spent
(25:23):
a lot of times in Italian familyaround the dinner table.
You know, eating is a huge part of our lives really in a lot of
also my father's a dentist and so he is like king of like
you're a captive audience right now.
Can't. It's just struck me as to why
he's a good storyteller. I was like, Oh my God.
Right. He has to fill the silence.
(25:43):
But it's that talk about like overcoming city.
He's too. I mean, now, my mom used to
always say, like he was so quietwhen I met him.
I took him out of a shell and now I cannot get him back in and
he just like he ran with it. So now he he likes still, even
though you're just at the dinnertable, would prefer you to be a
captive audience and not, you know, opine on what his he just
likes to to preach, I think. But now he's a fantastic
(26:06):
storyteller and has had an, you know, an amazing life and and
everything he created for us is is is amazing.
But he I will say how to incorporate it.
Repeat the same stories over andover and over.
I mean, till we or you know, dad, you told us this.
Well, let me just tell you again, you know, and you know,
probably frequently embellished,I don't know, but it's it worked
(26:27):
whatever or whatever it was. Amazing next time he's down in.
Florida I'd. Love to take him to dinner.
And yeah, don't be careful what you wish for.
Yes, well. Yeah, we're, we're a few, a few
like 1500 miles away. So that's right.
That's right. We're probably, I think we're
safe. Yeah, this is great.
Thank you so much. Thank you guys.
Yeah, I love it. Thanks.
Everybody for listening. Hope you have a great summer.
(26:49):
Ian, Tyler and Caroline have an awesome time up north.
Thank you. We'll see you when you get back.
And excited to show Caroline, her mom on the pod.
Oh yes, I didn't tell her. She's going to not going to know
what to do to what's. Going to turn it on in the.
Car is anyone listening to you and.
We get this. Thank you guys so much for
(27:10):
having me and keep up the good work.
Yours really it's, it's really impressive and amazing what you
guys are doing. It's been eye opening for me.
Made me think about so many different things.
So it's it's great. Oh, thank you Julia.
That means a lot. All right.
Thank you. Thanks everyone.
Hi everybody, today's teammate teammate is Julianne A Nunziata
Peters. Julianne and I actually go way
back. We both grew up in Pelham, NY. 2
of her older sisters actually babysat my brother and me.
Julianne and I were on the swim team together.
We went to the same elementary school and her husband Tyler
even roomed at NYU with one of my closest friends.
(00:22):
But we hadn't seen each other inyears until our kids happened to
meet on the beach one day and wehad one of those classic small
world moments. Fast forward to today, and
Danielle and I feel especially lucky to call Julianne our
neighbor and dear friend. We're so glad to have her here
in person on the show today. Hey, Julianne.
Hello, thank you so much for having me.
Yeah, thanks so much for coming in person.
(00:43):
Yeah, this is really great in the flesh.
So fun and exciting. How did you and Tyler decide on
Del Rey? So Tyler and I moved from New
York City. So we moved just after sort of
still during in 2021, COVID and New York City, which was
obviously a tough time and, and place to be.
(01:03):
Our daughter Caroline, who's now6, had just turned one.
We felt very cooped up in our apartment and that things were
changing and it was time to to kind of get out.
We had a friend from New York moved to Delray.
I had never heard of Delray, youknow, growing up.
We'd come down to Florida, Miami, you know, Palm Beach,
Boca. I knew never heard of Delray,
(01:26):
but immediately just sort of liked the energy.
I mean, I think honestly it feltlike we'd broken out of jail a
little bit coming from New York where it was so shut down, you
know, going into another winter.And here it just felt, you know,
open and free and and you know, like you said, lots of reasons
to come down. They can't argue with the
weather. So I think though originally
(01:50):
Caroline was, was young. I mean, she I guess was not even
quite 2 when we first visited. And then I think it was just two
when we moved. So honestly, I feel like it's
sort of a selfish adult decisionat that point.
I wasn't thinking about schools or necessarily, you know, the
rest of our lives or her childhood or whatever it was.
(02:10):
I think it was a little bit let's let's try this out.
We feel a little stuck where we are.
It's, you know, home isn't necessarily home anymore.
Can you talk a little bit more about that?
So like, when you and Tyler think about staying in Delray
Beach and putting down roots here, what are some of the
things that really are keeping you here?
Yeah, it's, it's a good questionbecause it's I think I have the
(02:36):
last few years, I keep waiting for that moment of Oh no, we
need to be back home. And I still think I call it
home. And it's, it's a strange
feeling, but you know, the, the,the hardest thing I'd say is
being away from, from family number one.
I mean, I think that's, you know, that that's the only thing
(02:57):
when I think about, you know, potentially going back is just
proximity to my father and, and my sisters.
And, and of course we have, you know, good friends there.
I think it's just there's a different energy and outlook on
life here that I think, you know, it's probably not
particular to Pelham or New York, but sort of the Northeast
(03:18):
in my mind, maybe elsewhere. But that's where I grew up.
And what I know that, you know, like it's life's just a grind
and a struggle and you're alwaysjust working, working to get to
to something, you know, and especially living in New York
City, you feel this or I certainly did.
You know, I'm in the greatest place on earth and nothing's
better than this. And you're very focused on, you
know, I'm a new sacrifice on space and, you know, and all
(03:43):
these different things. But I am in the greatest, you
know, place on Earth when you I think it takes leaving there to
realize, well, there's there's so much else out there.
And it's not necessarily that, you know, the greatest thing on
Earth, but I think the people seem to just enjoy life more
here, you know, and not obviously there, you know, mix
(04:03):
of different things, but but notat the expense of
responsibility, but you can do both.
And the reason that you work hard and put in this time is
that is to then enjoy, you know,that hard work.
And that's something that actually Tyler sort of
originally pointed out to me that I've didn't think of at
first. I think at first it was sort of
the weather is great and you know, we're outside a lot more
(04:25):
and, you know, now I I definitely see that.
And I think it's just, I don't know, people are people are
happier. They don't take themselves as
seriously. It's just it's been a sort of a
breath of fresh air in that way.I love that the FAU basketball
team, or maybe just FAU in general, their tagline is
winning in paradise. And I feel like when you take
(04:47):
New Yorkers that are really goodat the grind and you put them in
this space, it's actually a beautiful balance because we're
not going to lose that New York City toughness.
Yeah, right. And like work ethic, but now
when the day is done, I get to go and watch the sunset on the
beach as it goes to coming home to my mark cramped apartment,
(05:09):
which is also, which was great. We, I think we all like had our
20s there and had our young kidsthere, but I don't think
anything other than COVID would have gotten us out of Manhattan.
And I'm so grateful that it did.Like I we, I was there for 16
years. I never I didn't know what I
didn't know. Do you know what I mean?
Of course. So I too am really grateful for
(05:30):
the balance that because you're never going to take the New York
finance girl out of me and I don't want to, right.
But it's really nice to put me in this kind of paradise
setting. So I really do feel like it's
the. Best of both worlds, absolutely,
I agree. No.
And it's so cool that we we all found ourselves here.
I mean, it's very special. Yeah, we just, we did an episode
on Spirit where we talked about serendipity and synchronicity.
(05:54):
And so obviously, like serendipity is a happy accident.
And then there's this idea of synchronicity, which is when
like the universe collides to dosomething that really changes
your life. And I truly believe that meeting
you on the beach that day was just like synchronicity in
action. Hunter Ray Neufeld has never,
ever gone up to another little girl and said, Mommy, I want to
(06:14):
play with her. Like, that was the one never
before and never after. And I don't even know what
happened, but it was like such awonderful.
I feel like both of us were pretty new to our Delray Beach
experience too. And it was like, hello.
Like, I'm clinging everybody to her.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, like fish out of water kind of like
it gave me so much like validation that you all were
(06:36):
here too. You know what I mean?
I'm just so grateful because I feel like we are strangers in a
strange land a little bit and navigating people in schools and
cultures different. And you and I are targeting
different courses like, you know, but we can really we have
like a shared foundation, which has been such a gift.
I. Think, No, I couldn't agree
(06:56):
more. It was that, Yeah, I I forgot
exactly how that day unfolded, but it really was just.
It happened. Yeah, that's a small, small
world. But yeah, no, I feel grateful to
have ended up here and to met you guys or see met, you know,
run into you and that way you get and reconnected with you.
Yeah, exactly. I mean, yeah, it's what, 20
years apart at least, right? Probably haven't seen.
(07:18):
Your. Swim Team.
Yeah, right. I know this.
Girl. Yeah, those are the that's those
you. I have very fond memories of
those summers and at PCC that was that was a good.
So what is? It back for your family culture
today because I mean, obviously you mentioned that you have
three sisters and you liked a lot about growing up.
(07:40):
So when you think about family culture, you know both back then
and now what what really comes to mind.
So I think for me, the biggest thing is just feeling like you
are part of a team and that you belong somewhere.
I think that sense of being tethered to something bigger
than than yourself. I think when I've sort of felt
(08:03):
the most uneasy in my life is when you I feel untethered.
And I think I always come back to that.
And in talking of, of, you know,about family culture and, and
when I started listening to yourpodcast, of course, you know,
I'm thinking of creating that for my, you know, myself and,
and for my daughter. But I immediately think of my
upbringing and just because I did, I have, you know, very fond
(08:28):
and positive memories of childhood growing up, you know,
in a big family. And I think, you know, one of
the challenges for me now is howdo I create that culture with
one child that I had, you know, with, with six of us, you know,
versus a small family of three. But I, I think for me, it's,
(08:49):
it's looking to my parents, you know, especially my mom, how she
really created culture in our home, our traditions, the things
that I looked forward to. And then how, you know, how do
I, you know, make Caroline have that same, you know, I want her
to look back on her childhood and feel the way that I did.
(09:11):
So I think a lot of it is, you know, chasing that a bit.
And of course, you know, nothingwas was perfect, but you know,
and you can fine tune things here and there.
But I want her to overall come away with the same feeling I
did. And I think that's a challenge
for me now is how do I do that? Sure.
What were some of the things like?
What did it mean to be in an ansiata?
(09:32):
What does it mean today? Yeah, so I think it's like going
back to this kind of idea of a, of a team.
I think it was definitely a a sense of belonging.
But with that came responsibility and some
expectations. And I think it was, you know,
for, for, for my parents, they were not overly strict or, but
(09:55):
they were very traditional in their, in their sort of views
of, you know, they could just dowell in school, have a good
grades. You know, it was respect us,
listen to us. Like it was, you know, somewhat
of a formula and we were expected to sort of perform to
(10:17):
the best of our abilities. I think that for my parents,
they, you know, felt like they gave us all the opportunities in
the world and we were not to squander them.
And so I didn't feel an enormousamount of stress or, or pressure
or competition, But I do think that is also related to the age
gap or as I think the older onesgrowing up in the same house
(10:41):
really as peers at the same timewas probably, you know, caused a
little bit more pressure and, and angst potentially and
competition, you know, among them.
But I, I think it was just more so do your best, you know,
you're, you're a kid. So you're, you know, you don't
have other responsibilities outside of school and being a
(11:03):
good person and do those things.And then, you know, with that
came all of the wonderful thingsand the joy and the, you know,
we had a lot of, you know, just family traditions.
I mean, my mom, just everything was special that she created and
put on, even if it was, I mean, she cooked meals for us every
single day and we all sat down to a family dinner, which you
(11:25):
guys have an episode on. And, you know, something that I
to also struggle with because wedon't really have that.
And you know, every holiday, every everything was, was, you
know, from special occasions to to day-to-day, you know, she she
made very, very special. So yeah, I've started rambling
(11:47):
and lost. No, that's great.
No, that's great. I wonder.
On the one hand, I feel like youare so lucky and fortunate to
have that. How does it feel as an adult?
Like, do you feel pressure to dothat?
Not that you should, right? No, no, yes and no.
I think I, I think it's more so that I I put the pressure on
(12:12):
myself. I really want to have that and I
want to, I think so much, you know, my mom passed away 1010
years in February. And I think, you know, all the
more it's feels like trying to continue or or recreate sort of
that legacy and that, you know, who she was.
(12:34):
And I think a lot of, I mean, I know a lot of what I certainly
model myself after is, is, is her, but my relationship with
her to me was, you know, the themost special in my life.
And I think a lot of what I'm attempting to do is sort of
recreate that with with Carolinenow, which obviously it's, it's
not exact. And we personality wise we're,
(12:57):
we're all different. So, you know, we're, we're
navigating that. But I think it's, it's more so a
a a pressure. I wouldn't even call it back.
So I think it has somewhat of a negative connotation.
It's just something that I really want to do for for
myself. And then I hope Caroline takes
away and has feels that bond, you know, that that I deal with
her, of course, but but tell with my mom as well.
(13:20):
So that's. Beautiful.
Thank you for. Sharing.
These Pella moms in the 80s and 90s, I tell you, they like, say
what you will about the their kids and all of the kids that we
were surrounded with, there's probably just a great normalized
distribution of good and bad. But there was something special
about the moms in that town. I think that you, you could have
(13:45):
just described my mom talking about the holidays, talking
about dinner every night, you know, making it special.
Like, how did you know in the inthe moment that that was a good
thing to celebrate as opposed torun away from?
Because I pushed against, I pushed against that a lot.
I don't know, you know, I, I, I think I've just started thinking
(14:09):
about all of these things now asI mean, really from, from
listening to your podcast, it's been nice to reflect.
But you know, I credit my, my parents and I think my, you
know, my older siblings definitely helped create, you
know, create and shape that culture too.
And I, I don't, I don't know, itjust, it always felt, I always
(14:31):
looked forward to it. It was always fun, you know, and
we had of course friends and different activities that we
were involved in. But, but for me, I don't know, I
was always more of a homebody, Ithink.
And I would come back to that asfirst choice.
And so, yeah, I don't, I don't know exactly what it was, but I
(14:56):
still, you know, going into my dad's house, I have, I get that
feeling of, of being a child again, like on Christmas
morning, like, I can, I can still feel it somehow, you know,
And it's just I, I just I, I credit my, my parents with,
with, with creating that. Yeah.
(15:17):
I don't, I don't know, exactly 4times over.
Yeah. Well, maybe that's maybe by the
time they got to me, it had it down.
So maybe there was some. Yeah.
We need to have another one. No, you're.
Too, No, you know Speaking of that house and going back to
that house, your dad is moving right and you so you are going
in a couple of days for your final.
(15:39):
Yes, your final stay at the house.
I know it's it's going to be emotional.
I haven't, there was a period oftime in high school where if my
parents mentioned selling the house, I would just burst into
tears. And, you know, and I'm not, I'm
not there right now. But I always thought, I think
part of this, you know, I'll endup in Pelham was and I will end
(15:59):
up in that house. And I wanted to somehow exactly
recreate what I, you know, the experience I had.
And again, I don't that's shifted.
And so I don't have that, you know, feeling of missing out on
on that. I I feel like I've been a good
I'm, I'm where I should be, but the nostalgia factor and I am
(16:21):
not good with change. I could very it's it's, you
know, I know I'm going to be OK,but going through it is
stressful for me. So it's been, you know, I think
a while coming. I'm surprised he actually stayed
in the house as long as he did. But I'm I'm thankful to have
this one sort of last hurrah andalso just have been able to
(16:45):
what, when we transition to living here, have that as a home
base still, I think it made the move that much kind of easier to
do, probably much to the chagrinof my father, who did not want
us to go. But it felt like I always had a
place to go back to. And not only, and I'm sure we'll
find that, you know, elsewhere and I feel very comfortable in
(17:08):
my sister's homes and whatever else.
But it just, it made it made that easy to feel like I'm going
back to this place that has meant everything to me I spent
my entire life in. And it's always there for us.
So I think, you know, packing itup in a couple weeks is going to
be traumatic, But I'm, I'm very lucky.
(17:29):
I, I'm grateful that it worked out this way because it's under
contract, but we don't, I, I wasn't sure if we were going to
be able to come back to it because he put it on, you know,
the mark in the spring. But we're in a good spot where,
you know, we'll, we'll, we'll get to stay.
And I think for me, you know, I try to tell myself, especially
if, you know, my mom is not in the house anymore.
It's, you know, it's the memories, it's the feelings.
(17:51):
It's yes, the house. It does that for me, but it's
not the house that did it. Yeah.
Is there is there anything from the house that you can bring
down Florida? Well, my dad is just basically
if you guys want anything from the house, he will give you
anything that is not like naileddown to the ground.
He is just trying to in purge mode.
(18:13):
But there's nothing made. I mean, so my mom again, was, I
mean, a fantastic cook Hostess. She just everything was, was
special and nice and she had so many, you know, like serving
dishes and things that just remind me of holidays in
(18:37):
particular. But just, you know, and any kind
of family dinner get together and there's some a few of those
items that I'd like to have it just remind.
It makes me feel close to her. I mean, one of our traditions
that I like to to attempt to continue on with Caroline is, is
cooking together. We used to, we used to make, you
know, cookies for Christmas or, you know, bake XY and Z.
(19:00):
And so having something like that actually her rest, she has
a an very old fashioned file boxof recipes handwritten that
that's that's 100% the thing I'mtaking.
That's amazing. Yeah.
I mean, no rhyme or reason. I think there's like the
alphabetized tabs, but everything is just, you know,
throw thrown in there so that that I will take with me the
(19:23):
rest. You know, it's, it's stuff.
They have a lot of nice stuff, but I, I'm, I now I'm starting
anew. Yeah.
Speaking of starting anew, what are some of the traditions that
you and your sisters want to carry on?
You know, you all have your own families, but I imagine you're
pretty intentional about seeing one another and staying in
touch. How do you make sure to?
What's the forcing function? What's the holiday like?
(19:45):
What do you? Guys do to.
To make it stick. That I think was is a huge thing
that, you know, without explicitly saying it, my mom
always wanted us to, to maintain, you know, being close.
And she said that, you know, definitely set the stage for
that. And I think again, without even
necessarily talking about it, wealso, you know, we feel the same
(20:07):
way that I mean, we, we want to spend that time together, but I
think it's also sort of an ode to her as well that we keep.
That we, you know, maintain those traditions.
So one of the things when I was first moving, as I said, I
promise I will come back for every health day because that
was always very special time forus.
And we have figured out and now,you know, certain in laws come
(20:31):
for certain holidays and not others.
And, but kind of the, the big ones in our family, we're all
together and my, my sister Michelle has taken over posting
duties for the most part. And we actually have, there's
another family from town, my parents and this family, the,
the parents of that family started this Christmas Eve
(20:54):
tradition in, I don't know, probably the 70s.
And now we still have that we've, the party has dwindled.
It's, you know, it's, it's gotten much smaller.
But there's one family in particular that still comes over
to Michelle's house on ChristmasEve.
And it's, you know, the, the, the parents, then, you know, the
next generation, now they all have children.
(21:16):
And so it's it, it feels like we're recreating that in a very,
you know, special way. Absolutely it there.
It really is. I mean, we had just like you
mentioned a tradition with neighbors on Christmas Eve party
at our house, but all the neighbors and all their family
(21:36):
and friends were welcome. And I grew up in a in a family
where my cousins on both sides not just knew each other, but
saw each other very regularly asa result of that forcing
function of getting everyone together.
Sounds like as you described when you mentioned the in laws
coming like that's kind of a special not so common thing.
Right, A good point. I didn't think about it that
way. And I think part of it is we are
(21:57):
for opinionated women who say weare maintaining this Christmas
Eve tradition. But there is a definitely, I
think the, the, I think it's, it's palpable to the others that
this is, this is fun and this ismeaningful.
And I think, I don't think anybody complaints about doing
it. I think it's become a tradition
that has grown and that, you know, we love adding, adding new
(22:22):
people to the, to the mix. So that is, yeah, that is very
special. It's great that you can maintain
that bond and also live your ownand chart your own life down
here. Yeah.
And I think that's, that's been a good, I think it's been a good
balance for me. And I, you know, one of the
things I've as the youngest, I don't know if that's related or
(22:42):
not, but there were times, you know, Speaking of family
dynamics that, you know, I felt overly involved in other
people's lives and sort of the, the peacekeeper to some degree.
And this has been sort of a great change because I get a
little bit of distance from that, but still maintain, you
(23:06):
know, the the closeness and and all of the positivity.
But it's yeah, it it's definitely nice to have your
own, your own space and and lifeand then focus on that totally
crazy tangent. But I just I just wanted to say
you're the episode on family stories.
I really loved. And I made me think of how much
(23:31):
of A storyteller, particularly my dad, but my parents are and
were, and I'd never really thought about it until you, you
brought it up. But I think that was sort of
exactly how they taught us all of our, you know, values and
what was sort of expected for, of us and, and the opportunities
(23:54):
given to us. Because I think, you know, for,
for them, there was both kids of, you know, immigrants who
came here and had nothing and then created this life, you
know, for, for themselves and, and for us.
And I never really stood, you know, took a step back to think
about that. But I just, I mean, I have the
same story of, you know, my grandfather coming here and
(24:15):
everything he accomplished. And we think we all probably at
some point wrote some paper about him in the school and
whatever else. And it's just so much of my
childhood, you know, through nowis just is storytelling and
hearing about, you know, the, the struggles and the feats of
those, you know, people that came before me.
So I thought that that was I, I think that's a really great
(24:39):
thing. And I'm trying to, you know,
I've certainly repeated the stories I've heard and I'm
hoping that we can come up with some new ones and have our own
experiences. But I think storytelling is a
great is a is a huge part for for anyway for for me and our
family culture growing up. I love that.
I love that. That's that's a great notice.
(25:01):
Thank you for calling that out of.
Course. Cool.
Well, Mr. Nunziata, we need somesome tips on on how to
incorporate story into our family.
It was that around the table, around the dinner table?
Was that just like when you're brushing your teeth?
He'd just be like, hey, did I ever tell you about?
The time a lot, a lot of times around the table, which we spent
(25:23):
a lot of times in Italian familyaround the dinner table.
You know, eating is a huge part of our lives really in a lot of
also my father's a dentist and so he is like king of like
you're a captive audience right now.
Can't. It's just struck me as to why
he's a good storyteller. I was like, Oh my God.
Right. He has to fill the silence.
(25:43):
But it's that talk about like overcoming city.
He's too. I mean, now, my mom used to
always say, like he was so quietwhen I met him.
I took him out of a shell and now I cannot get him back in and
he just like he ran with it. So now he he likes still, even
though you're just at the dinnertable, would prefer you to be a
captive audience and not, you know, opine on what his he just
likes to to preach, I think. But now he's a fantastic
(26:06):
storyteller and has had an, you know, an amazing life and and
everything he created for us is is is amazing.
But he I will say how to incorporate it.
Repeat the same stories over andover and over.
I mean, till we or you know, dad, you told us this.
Well, let me just tell you again, you know, and you know,
probably frequently embellished,I don't know, but it's it worked
(26:27):
whatever or whatever it was. Amazing next time he's down in.
Florida I'd. Love to take him to dinner.
And yeah, don't be careful what you wish for.
Yes, well. Yeah, we're, we're a few, a few
like 1500 miles away. So that's right.
That's right. We're probably, I think we're
safe. Yeah, this is great.
Thank you so much. Thank you guys.
Yeah, I love it. Thanks.
Everybody for listening. Hope you have a great summer.
(26:49):
Ian, Tyler and Caroline have an awesome time up north.
Thank you. We'll see you when you get back.
And excited to show Caroline, her mom on the pod.
Oh yes, I didn't tell her. She's going to not going to know
what to do to what's. Going to turn it on in the.
Car is anyone listening to you and.
We get this. Thank you guys so much for
(27:10):
having me and keep up the good work.
Yours really it's, it's really impressive and amazing what you
guys are doing. It's been eye opening for me.
Made me think about so many different things.
So it's it's great. Oh, thank you Julia.
That means a lot. All right.
Thank you. Thanks everyone.
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