June 25, 2025 • 50 mins
High-achieving. Burned out, but still going. Still not feeling like it’s enough? Let’s talk.
What happens when you’re doing all the right things but still feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or just plain exhausted?
In this raw, unscripted episode, we’re diving into the paradox so many high-functioning, high performing, perfectionist women face: doing everything right, but not getting the results or the feelings you actually want.
Here’s the thing-perfectionism isn’t really about wanting everything to be flawless. It’s about caring deeply. You see potential everywhere. You want to lead, to create, to do things well. You tangibly see and feel the gap. You see where things can be better. You know how to read the room and are often the one shifting and holding these rooms. And those qualities? They’ve made you unstoppable. But they’ve also made it really hard to slow down. You know how to do it all, but you don't know how to slow down without burning it down. So you just keep going like the energizer bunny. Life says jump and you say how high, never no or not right now.
When perfectionism goes unchecked, it locks you in fight-or-flight, hyper-fixated on what’s wrong, running on empty but still pushing through. Perfectionism is just really fancy shame. It looks good and leaves you feeling like crap. The truth? You can pour from an empty cup. Many high-functioning women have been doing it for years. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
In this episode, we’ll explore:
- Why perfectionism isn’t something to “fix” but a relationship to heal
- How ambition can coexist with rest, joy, and ease
- The real reason you keep feeling burned out (even when you’re doing everything “right”)
- The power of nervous system regulation and community care for high-achieving women
👉 This isn’t about lowering your standards-it’s about raising your regulation, your support, and your self-trust.
You matter. Your life matters. Not just the things you do.
✨ If this episode speaks to you, book a free call to explore working together: Click here
If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here
💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.
🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to today's episode of the Motherhood Mentor
Podcast and honest moment.
I'm kind of giggling right nowas I'm talking, because I have
tried to start this podcastthree different times and each
time, as soon as I start talking, my words aren't like coming
out of my mouth and I'm just sofrustrated because I have all of
(00:27):
these things that I reallywanted to talk to you about,
that I wanted to teach you, allof these tools that I wanted to
give you.
I had a couple differentpodcasts that I was going to
record today.
I was going to record one onsome more somatic tools for you
in our somatic series.
I was also going to record apodcast on perfectionism and
ambition.
I was going to talk aboutsummer.
(00:48):
I was going to talk anotherepisode about body image and our
relationship to our bodies andour relationship to food and how
somatics has impacted that.
I was going to record anepisode about entrepreneurship
and my current journey andstruggles and what I'm learning
and what is helping me and alsomy clients.
I was going to record an ep,like I have.
(01:09):
I had like several different,really great episodes planned
out to record today and what'sso frustrating is that during
parts of my cycle I have thehardest time recording podcasts.
It's like the words get lostsomewhere between my brain, my
(01:31):
heart, wherever those words arecoming from.
As soon as I go to say them outof my mouth, it's like they get
lost, it's like I can't findthem.
And it's so frustrating becausethis only happens when I'm
luteal, if I'm doing a podcastinterview with someone, or you
know, I had a coaching call thismorning and the coaching call
was phenomenal as a coach, asresponsive, like I feel great in
(01:54):
that relational aspect.
But when I go to record soloepisodes when I'm luteal, I just
feel so stuck and I getfrustrated because I get so
distracted and I feel like I geteverywhere and I miss the plot
or I can't even get to the plotto start with, like I keep, and
it's just frustrating.
And so I was just like you knowwhat, instead of like forcing
(02:20):
myself to come here andstrategize, I figured I'd just
record a podcast today and justkind of share some random
thoughts that I also think couldbe really powerful in helping
you this summer.
(02:40):
That is always my goal is tohelp you with your actual, real
life.
I do not want to create apodcast, I don't want to create
content.
I don't want to create abusiness that says the same shit
that everybody else has said.
There is this like I just feellike I hear the same things from
everyone, because all they haveis information and they just
(03:03):
keep sharing information andstrategies and like here's what
to do, but they never share howit feels, the reality of what it
looks like.
And specifically today I wantto talk about the reality that
so many of you listening, somany of you, I can guarantee it
you are doing the right things,you have good habits, you have
(03:28):
good health.
You show up to your mental andemotional health, you are taking
care of yourself, you aretaking care of your home, your
family, you are showing upreally well as a mom, you are
showing up well to your business.
And what is so frustrating isthat you can do all of the right
things and not always get theresults that you want.
Or you're getting the results,that you can do all of the right
things and not always get theresults that you want.
Or you're getting the resultsthat you want, but it doesn't
(03:49):
feel how you want it to feel orhow you thought it would feel,
and that is so frustrating.
It is so frustrating when youcome to this place in your
healing or your personaldevelopment or your leadership,
when you realize that you canput in your input but there are
(04:09):
still variables that are outsideof your control and that really
sucks when you are a controlfreak.
That really sucks when you aresomeone who wants to double down
, not someone who wants toloosen their expectations.
I was talking in my mastermindyesterday.
(04:30):
I have a local mastermind ofmoms who are business owners,
who are always wanting to growand heal and they care.
They care so much about howthey show up for themselves and
the people in their lives andtheir roles and responsibilities
and they're trying to staycentered and grounded and
continue to expand and explorenew ways to show up to these
(04:52):
roles into these areas of theirlives.
But we are talking about how,when you are healing your
perfectionism, a lot of timesthere is a part of you.
When you do the right thing,when you do the thing that
aligns most to your values, it'ssometimes not doing something
more.
It's not doing something, it is.
I know how to hold it alltogether.
(05:15):
I know how to do it all, butwhat I don't know how to do is
nothing.
I don't know how to just take achill pill, I don't know when
to quit, I don't know how toquit, I don't know how to lose,
and we don't realize that thatperfectionism is keeping us
stuck trying to beat a game thatwe don't have to play anymore.
(05:36):
And when you're healing fromperfectionism, it's almost like
that part of you.
There's constantly a part of methat I feel like is just
sitting in the corner crying orthrowing a fit or glaring at me
or rolling her eyes, or is justlike super annoyed that I'm not
doing the thing that I should bedoing, that I want to be doing,
and that is extremelyfrustrating.
(05:58):
It's uncomfortable, especiallywhen I was first healing from
perfectionism, when I was firsttrying to find this balance, if
you will, between the parts ofme that are so ambitious, the
parts of me.
There are parts of me and Ilove these parts of me that will
always see and feel the gap inevery area.
(06:20):
I care way too much and I likethat about myself.
I used to hate that aboutmyself.
It used to frustrate me so bad.
I don't know what it's like tobe nonchalant.
I don't know what it is to notcare deeply about my role as a
mother, about the way that Icare for my home, the way that I
take care of my body, the waythat I show up to my marriage,
(06:43):
the way that I'm building mybusiness both on the front end
of my business but mostly theback end of my business how I
coach women, the experience theyhave, the way that I sell what
I'm doing, the way that I talkabout what I'm doing, the way
that I give back.
I care so much about my impactand my influence and my
leadership over my life,personally and professionally so
(07:06):
much.
And that is so hard because Ican tangibly see and feel that
gap between where I am, wheresomething is and where it could
be.
I constantly am seeing thepotential and that can be a
beautiful permission.
That can be this like creativelife force, this creative energy
(07:26):
, and it can be this like gas inthe tank.
That has me showing up tothings when they don't make
sense.
That has me showing up whenit's not working, when it seems
like it's failing, when it'staking too long.
That has me showing up on thoseshit hard days where there are
voices in my head or voices inthe culture that tell me that
like it's not worth it.
(07:47):
You don't have to do this.
It could be easier.
Why don't you just let it go?
Why don't you take it easy?
But that is not me.
That's not who I am anymore andthat wasn't always the case.
But I love the parts of me thatsee where I can be constantly,
consistently improving.
And a lot of people get thiswrong about perfectionism.
(08:08):
Perfectionism isn't this thingin me that wants me and
everybody else to be perfect.
At least that's what I wouldtell you logically in my head
and the women.
I've learned so much languageabout this experience and how we
heal it, how we integrate it ina new way, because their
expectations are for holy andgood things.
(08:29):
Women who are perfectionisticare deeply connected to their
values, deeply connected totheir purpose, deeply connected
to making things more beautiful,to healing and health and
growth.
They are engines.
They are people who keep thingsmoving.
They are leaders.
They are women who are willingto.
They are leaders.
They are women who are willingto be wrong about things.
But here is the hard part withperfectionism A lot of times,
(08:52):
that ambition and thatperfectionism, it can become
maladaptive and it can make ushyper-controlling and it can
make us, it can create thisspace in our heads and our
hearts and our bodies where weare always in fight and fight
mode.
We are constantly hyper,fixating on what is wrong, on
what could be better, and it canbecome this immense pressure.
(09:15):
That pressure in your body canlook and feel like high
functioning anxiety.
It can look like overworking,it can be over giving in
relationships and anxiety.
It can look like overworking,it can be over giving in
relationships.
It can be being overlyempathetic, which is actually a
massive problem.
I'm going to try to not get onthat rabbit trail right now.
But when you're, when we'retalking about perfectionism and
(09:37):
ambition, I always like to tellwomen this is a wonderful,
beautiful part of you, but howold?
This is a wonderful, beautifulpart of you, but how old is this
part of you?
Is she a young teen girl?
Because a young teen girl who'sperfectionistic is going to
make very different choices thana woman who can feel how old
she is, a woman who can feelagency and choice and actually
(09:58):
what her deep, deep values arethat are under the surface.
That isn't always gas are thatare under their surface.
That isn't always gas.
When you are driving a car, itcan feel so good to go 75 or 80
miles an hour.
That can feel so good.
So I want you to think of thispart of you as the gas in your
life.
This is the gas in the tankthat drives you to do things
(10:20):
that other people aren't willingto do sometimes.
It is the thing that helps youstart that business, even though
you're scared as hell.
It can be the part of you thatsets the boundary, even though
it's massively uncomfortable.
It can be the part of you thatis like get up, girl, girl, get
up.
Like, get up and do the thing,show up to what you value, put
your, put your, put your lifewhere your mouth is Like don't
(10:48):
just talk about it, be about it,do about it.
That is the gas in the car andthat is a beautiful, healthy,
wonderful part of you.
But for so, so many women, thatperfectionistic part of them is
actually this fight and flightmode that caused you to hyper
and overachieve and overfunction, and it can be so
exhausting because it feels likeeverything is on you, because
(11:08):
often you are the one in theroom who sees where things could
be better, who sees what needsto be done, who sees what needs
to do, and that is a bigresponsibility to be not just
the thermometer who reads theroom, but the thermostat who is
moving the temperatureemotionally, practically
(11:29):
managing the actual tasks.
It can be exhausting to feellike your foot is stuck on the
gas, like you can't slow down,and that is the problem with so
many women and theirperfectionism.
It's not that you can't haveyour gas, it's not that you
can't go fast, it's that youhave learned the skill of doing
(11:50):
everything and doing all of itand doing it to a hundred
percent.
But what happens when you dropcapacity and motherhood is that
season for so many women.
For some women it comes earlyin motherhood.
For some women it hits thattoddler season.
The toddler season is probablythe most common season when
women come to work with mebecause they finally have some
(12:13):
time and energy capacity.
But all of a sudden they'regoing.
It's not even that I can't gothis fast, it's that I don't
want to anymore.
It's that my body, my soul, mybeing is saying this is too much
or I'm going so fast and I'mmissing it.
That is one of the highestthings that women say that they
(12:34):
want is like I don't want tomiss this season, and they're
terrified of slowing down,because all their body knows is
all or nothing.
They only know full gas or fullburnout and collapse.
They haven't learned the art ofslowing down or pulling over.
They haven't learned how tobeautifully, wonderfully, wholly
(12:55):
fall apart To honor your holyhumanity and your pace in life.
And pace is not as much abouthow fast you're going, it's are
you going so fast that your soulcan't keep up?
Are you going so slow thatyou're burning out because you
don't have enough of the rightthings on your plate?
(13:15):
Or you're going in the completewrong direction?
But you're so focused onoutcome, you're so focused on
can I?
That you're not asking should Iand at what cost?
I am deeply ambitious about mybusiness, deeply, and I am
consistently needing to holdmyself back because my values
(13:37):
require it and also sometimesbecause that is the season of
life that I am in and it is whatmy family requires.
Your family might be different.
Your family might be different.
Your capacity might bedifferent, your support system,
the way that you run yourbusiness.
Also, shout out to the moms whoaren't working because they
wanted to.
You're working because yourfamily needs it.
That is a very good reason towork.
(14:00):
That is a very good reason tocontribute to your family to
provide for your family.
That is a very good reason tocontribute to your family to
provide for your family.
That is a very good, validreason to be working and there
is nothing to be ashamed of ofthat.
And what we are told is that wecan do it all.
And people talk about this at avery high level and they're
constantly like you don't haveto do it all and I don't have to
(14:21):
do it all.
But the reality is a lot of thewomen that I work with, if they
don't do it, no one else will,and it is actually very, very
uncomfortable to start lookingat your life and recognizing
what you do and what you do notcontrol, because you know how to
do it all, but what your bodydoesn't know how to do is do
(14:43):
nothing or do less, or thereality of getting out of that
all or all or nothing, the onagain, off again, which happens
very much in perfectionism.
And some women are stuck in theall of everything, where
they're like I'm doing it alland externally everything looks
great, but internally I am dying.
(15:03):
Inside.
I have all of this success andall of these wonderful,
beautiful things that I wantedand needed, and I don't even get
to enjoy them anymore.
I used to be fun.
I miss actually feeling likeI'm in the room or that I have
grace and compassion for theparts of my life that are messy,
because every little thing isstarting to set me off.
(15:26):
I'm starting to see and smellthe smoke of burnout coming.
But here's the thing for highfunctioners High functioners are
often perfectionists and highfunctioners when I tell you you
absolutely can pour for an emptycup, in fact you're used to
pouring from an empty cup.
You are used to running on fumesand being able to show up with
(15:50):
much, much less than what youactually require to do that full
of life, full of joy, full ofenergy, full of passion and
purpose.
Because a lot of you who areambitious, it's not that you
wanna quit, it's that you can'tkeep up with the pace that
you're trying to force yourselfto do.
But quitting doesn't feel likean option.
(16:10):
It doesn't feel like an optionto lower your standards in
business or to lower yourexpectations in motherhood or
showing up for your marriage,and you refuse to stop doing
these things and it's likethat's great.
I'm not.
I would never ask you to, butin order to keep doing those
things, you are going to have to, it is a non-negotiable for you
to figure out how to get gas inthe tank, to figure out how to
(16:35):
use the gas and the brakesappropriately, how to meet the
pace of your life with presence,with capacity, how to get
enough support for you.
And support and capacity come inmany different facets it's
physical, it's biological, it'smental, it's emotional, it is
(16:55):
your environment, it's yourcommunity.
The two things that I findwomen are lacking most is that
community and that compassionhaving someone outside of
yourself to witness you, to seeyou, to help you process.
You are in a space and a seasonwhere you are giving and taking
care of everyone else andyou're doing an okay job at
(17:19):
taking care of you.
And I think what's hard for alot of high functioners is if
you compare yourself to otherwomen and I know we're not
supposed to compare ourselves,but the reality is is that you
do, you're already doing morethan everyone else.
You're already showing up toyour mental, emotional, physical
health more than everyone elseyou see is.
But here's the thing the moreyou want to give, the more
(17:41):
quantity you want to produce andthe more quality you want to
produce.
If you care about your outcomes, you need to start thinking and
realizing that you are thebiggest input factor.
How you are cared for and howmuch you can receive and how
(18:02):
much support you can have inyour life will directly impact
every role and relationship youhave.
When you are a leader insideyour home and your personal life
maybe in your family that youcreated, or your family that
like your bloodline, or when youare the leader of your business
(18:25):
, the reality is is that you areasking yourself to show up to a
new level of maturity.
Show up to a new level ofmaturity, a new level of
emotional mental capacity and,especially if you care about the
health and the quality of whatyou're doing, who you are and
how you're creating, you have tomake it a non-negotiable to be
(18:49):
pouring into those buckets foryou.
If you are the woman who isspinning all of the plates, if
you are the woman who isjuggling all of the pots on the
stove, if you are the person, ifit's all on you, then you
better make sure that you areinvesting in yourself in ways
(19:11):
that give you the capacity toshow up to that, or you will
burn out.
You will watch your marriage oryour motherhood or your
business burn out because youare the gas in the tank for
those things.
It is so backwards when we talkabout self-care isn't selfish
(19:31):
that that doesn't speak to theproblem directly.
Because I've yet to meet awoman who, mentally and
logically, is like it's selfishfor me to take up this time or
this space or these finances,like I feel guilty walking away
from my family for a weekend togo on a retreat, and it's like
there's a difference betweenguilt and discomfort.
(19:52):
It is uncomfortable for youbecause you are used to the one
taking care of everyone and itfeels weird to make sure you're
taken care of, to acknowledgethat you have massive amounts of
messy human needs and the morethat you do, the more that you
(20:13):
give, the more that you want toserve, the more you need in your
tank.
You require more because youare expecting yourself to hold
more and you want to hold it ina specific way.
It matters to you how you holdit.
It matters to you how you showup.
So if your standards of yourbehaviors, of your relationships
(20:35):
, of your communication, of yourleadership, of your business,
whatever it is, if you have highvalues and standards for that.
You're going to have to raiseyour standards for how you take
care of yourself, and this isgoing past just the foundational
things.
It's going into the nuancedsubtleties that are slowly
(20:58):
seeping and seeking energy outof you.
This is getting into energeticand emotional boundaries.
This is getting into yournervous system regulation, and
right now there's such a trendaround nervous system regulation
and being calm.
But what I want to tell you is,when you are leading your
household, when you are leadingyour kids, when you are leading
(21:21):
other people whether they areclients, whether it's other
people that you work with youoften need to have the strongest
nervous system in the room,strongest nervous system in the
room.
And that's a big ask because,ideally and originally, what we
need as humans is other peopleto co-regulate with, and this is
(21:43):
one of the biggest reasons whyI do local masterminds, why I do
retreats, why I do coachinggroups, is because your nervous
system needs co-regulation withpeople who are as regulated as
you or more regulated than you.
You need to be in a room withwomen who are just as and
(22:04):
sometimes more, emotionallyaware, intelligent than you are.
You need women who are showingup to their lives with these
high expectations and standards?
Who can see things that you'renot seeing?
Who can speak to it and unshamethe places where you are
shaming and holding thisperfectionistic ideal over your
(22:27):
head instead of allowing you tobreathe?
I cannot tell you how muchhealing I have witnessed happen
by women getting in a room andwitnessing each other, women who
can really see you and speak tothe things in your life at the
depth and the quality that youwant to talk to them about.
(22:47):
One of the reasons that Istarted the Motherhood Mentor
way way back in 2020, well, 2019, 2020, is that I saw these kind
of two different spaces forwomen.
I saw these spaces whereeverything was pretty and
perfect and and everything wasgreat and I loved the positivity
(23:08):
in those rooms because I alsoloved motherhood, I also loved
marriage, I also wanted to lovemy life and the reality was is
that I was burning out, I wassinking, I was going through
deep, intensive healing and likeCPTSD and I was like there is
so much shit happening in mylife.
But then it was either likethat room or it seems like there
(23:29):
was these other tables where,like women just shit talked
everything.
They hated their husbands, theyhated their lives.
They talked shit about theirkids all the time and I was like
where is this middle place?
Where?
Where are the rooms?
Where are the circles of womenwho are telling the truth about
their messy middles, their messyhumanities?
I'm in the process.
I'm not on the other side yet.
(23:50):
I need to talk about the hardstuff.
I need to be real and honestand talk about what's actually
happening in my own body, what'sactually happening in my
marriage, what's actuallyhappening in my motherhood.
I need to talk to someone abouthow I don't know what the hell
I'm doing.
I need to talk to someone aboutthe reality that I don't know
how to have a relationship withmy parents right now.
I don't know what boundaries Ineed to have, but I can't keep
(24:13):
doing it this way.
Where are the rooms where wecan tell the truth, but we can
do it in a way that bringsresponsibility and ownership,
where we can talk about hardthings in a fully race-filled
way, not as victims, not asmartyrs, but also not in this
(24:36):
I'm going to keep everythingreally pretty and perfect.
But also I needed a room wherewomen don't need me to be small
and insecure and hate myself inorder to be likable and
understood.
And when I do have those things, I want women who are going to
help me heal, help me expand,help me grow, how to help me
(24:57):
think and feel and show updifferently to myself in my life
.
I want women, when I bring aproblem to the table, to be able
to not just witness me but tobe able to say I love you, right
where you are and I'm not goingto leave you there when I tell
you this impossible, improbabledream.
I need women who know what it'slike to want something that
(25:20):
seems so crazy, who aren'tafraid for me, who do not under
or overestimate me, who seeexactly who I am and my worth
and where I'm headed and who I'mbecoming.
That changes you.
That changes you because we areso used to doing everything in
a bubble and I am very supported.
(25:43):
I have incredible friends.
I have incredible friends who Ihave, like these different I
have, like I have a village, butit looks totally different than
what I thought it would,because different people in my
life serve different pieces andplaces.
In my village, in my life, Ihave people who are like my mom,
(26:05):
friends and we raise our babiestogether and we, you know, swap
kids and they pick up my kidsfrom school or they take my kids
to sports, or, you know, I taketheir kids for the day and
their kids play with my kids allday so I can get some work done
.
And then I have friends who,like we, could talk about
business all day long.
We talk about ambition, we talkabout podcasting and business
and all of these differentassets.
(26:26):
Or I have my friends wherewe're always talking about deep
inner healing and childhood andsoul work and religion and we're
talking about, like, verydifferent topics.
I have this very wide spectrumof who I go to for what, and
that's not exactly what I alwaysthought it would be, but that's
just how my life is.
But the point I was getting tois the reality is I still often
(26:51):
like I'm the only one.
I'm the only one in my marriage, married to my husband, I'm the
only one who is parenting thesekids.
I'm the one who's there Tuesdaynight at 9 pm when my teenager
wants to have this deep, hardconversation.
I'm the one.
There is a very real lonelinessto life and no one wants to name
(27:13):
that.
No one wants to come out andsay there is a loneliness that
is very real.
That isn't because you arealone.
It's because you are the one.
This is your life and there issome stuff that is just yours.
This is your circus, these areyour monkeys.
That is why it is anon-negotiable to take care of
(27:35):
you, to figure out how tosupport you, to figure out how
to build yourself up and alsowhere and when and how other
people can care for you and showup to you in your life.
That is vulnerable as hell.
That is very hard for a lot ofwomen to start building
relationships where they are notthe one relied on, they're the
(27:58):
one relying on someone else.
It's hard for a lot of women tofind those spaces.
And I totally got a little bitoff the topic of perfectionism
and ambition.
But I think this is so, soimportant because I think a lot
of women who are highlyambitious, they have been
pedestalized by communities, byother women, as they don't need
(28:24):
anything because they haveeverything.
They give such an impression ofhaving it all and there is a
reality to that.
There is a reality of successor this life that you built.
That is really beautiful.
And it can be very, very hardwhen you feel like people either
other people or you yourselfyou have been pedestalized, you
(28:47):
have been placed as this.
She doesn't need anything.
You have to kind of keep upthis professional persona of
having it all together andhaving all the answers and you
make sure that you always cleanup your mess before you let
other people see it.
You have a real strategic wayto solve your problem before you
(29:08):
even let other people into theprocess, because the process is
messy and it's vulnerable and itshows all of your weaknesses
and vulnerability and what weneed especially when you're a
leader, especially when you havea very public persona,
especially when a lot of otherpeople in your life don't have
emotional intelligence to showup to the depth and the
(29:30):
self-responsibility that you'reliving to.
You need rooms, you need spaceswhere you get to be fully you,
where all of the parts of youget to show up to the table, the
really successful, badass parts, and also the moments where
you're just a girl, where youknow all the right answers but
(29:52):
you forgot.
Where you get dysregulated,where you have shit that you go
through and you know all theright answers but you forgot.
Where you get dysregulated,where you have shit that you go
through and you know what.
Maybe it's shit that youcreated, or maybe it's something
that you didn't ask for, itwasn't your fault.
But now it's yourresponsibility.
Like breaking cycles, healingyour family lineage, like that
shit's hard.
If it feels hard and heavy,that's because it is, but when
(30:16):
you can get into a room of otherwomen doing that work, it is so
much less lonely because nowyou have language, now you see
the other ways that are optionsto you.
But the powerful thing isyou're seeing the nuance of it.
There's time and space for thenuance of it, which there isn't
time and space for on Instagram.
It's insane that we have lostour capacity for slowing down
(30:42):
and really talking aboutsomething.
I don't want to talk about thehigh-level strategy.
I want to talk about the humanone.
We have so much informationthat very few people have
capacity to integrate, to showup and embody something, to
stick with something that theyknow and then know it to their
(31:04):
bones, to do it over and overand over again for a long time.
But that is how you buildintegrity.
Integrity is not a fast process, it is a continual process.
Balance Balance in your life,balancing your ambition and your
humanity, your desire to justhave slow cups of coffee,
(31:26):
reading a book, your desire toslow down and play with your
kids, your desire to be a womanof ease, your desire to have
satisfaction and play andpleasure and rest and ease in
your life those two parts of youget to coexist.
They get to coexist when youbuild a relationship to yourself
(31:49):
, when you stop looking outsideyourself to some fancy strategy
or planner or this newinformation and you get down
deep into what your soul knowsand what your soul doesn't know.
What does your body know andwhat does your body not know?
Yet you know how to do it all,but does your body know how to
really lean back and let shit go?
(32:11):
Do you know how to witnessother people without taking on
their emotions?
Do you know how to meetconflict and communication with
your partner when they'redysregulated?
When you're dysregulated andboth of your dysregulations are
clashing?
Do you know how to show up toyour kid when they are
(32:33):
triggering the hell out of you,whether they're triggering the
hell out of you because they'rejust so loud and playful and
unruly, or they're triggeringthe heck out of you because
they're doing something thathits you right in that core of
shit.
I don't want to see my baby gothrough what I went through.
There is so much going on inyour life that's a reality.
(32:54):
It's not just a feeling ofoverwhelm, it's quite literally.
No.
This is too much for a humanbody, this is too much for a
girl, and I'm notunderestimating you.
If anything almost every womanI've ever met she is vastly
(33:14):
underestimating herself, whatshe is capable of, what she is
worth, her value that she bringsjust by existing.
I'm obsessed with the women thatI work with.
I deeply love and care aboutthem and I like them.
They are the coolest, mostbadass people and so often they
are so good at controllingthemselves.
(33:35):
They have gotten so good atself-control, but what they
don't have is self-trust.
They have this bracing, thislocked down.
I have to lock it down, I haveto control this, I have to fix
this, and what I love to do isteach them how to open their
hands, teach them how to leanback, teach them how to breathe
(33:56):
again without letting go ofcontrol, because we're not
trying to make your life out ofcontrol or you out of control,
but the beautiful thing is, whenyou trust yourself, you don't
need control because you haveleadership, because you have
trust and relationship toyourself in every part of you,
the ambitious parts of you, butalso those younger part of you.
The ambitious parts of you, butalso those younger parts of you,
(34:16):
the parts of you that are stillself-sabotaging, the parts of
you that don't think they'reready yet, the parts of you that
are afraid, the parts of youthat are downright terrified or
burnt out or exhausted oremotional.
Those parts of you exist.
They're always going to exist.
It's not getting rid of them.
Healing is not getting rid ofthose.
Messy parts of you exist.
They're always going to exist.
It's not getting rid of them.
Healing is not getting rid ofthose messy parts of you.
(34:38):
It's learning to lead them andbe with them and sit with them
and relate to them.
And sometimes, sometimes thatlooks like boundaries, sometimes
that looks like breaks,sometimes that looks like
reparenting yourself, likeyou're a little toddler or a
teenager throwing a fit orhaving a bad day and you have to
parent yourself in ways thatyou don't like.
(35:00):
It's not the fun, cutesyself-care.
It's the baptizing a cat kindof self-care.
It's the I don't want to, butI'm going to anyways because I
love myself.
It's learning how to talk backto your inner critic, how to
retrain your brain to look foreverything that's going right
instead of only seeing whatyou're doing wrong.
There are so many ways.
(35:24):
There are small, nuanced,little things that are going to
change your life and those whenyou start, it's you know that
saying it's the straw thatbreaks the camel's back, it's
also the taking care of thosestraws that make sure the
camel's back doesn't break.
It's showing up to them, it'staking care of them.
(35:47):
And the reality.
I know this reality wellbecause it's still true in my
life to this day.
And this is my literalprofession.
It's my literal profession todo this for other women and I
still struggle with it.
And there's some seasons whereit's easier and then there's
some seasons where it's harder.
And let can I just be honestwith you for a minute.
It is not convenient.
(36:09):
It's not convenient and it'salso not comfortable for me.
And again, like I said, I dothis for a living and I've also
done this in my personal life.
I mean, I've got a reallystrong and very long track
record of showing up for myselfand let me tell you there are
(36:29):
still seasons or days or momentswhere I don't want to, where
it's inconvenient anduncomfortable.
I think I've shared a little biton this podcast in previous
episodes that this fall I wentthrough this really intensive,
deep healing from some reallyhard parts of my life, and one.
(36:53):
It's frustrating because I feellike whenever those things come
back, I'm like sick of hearingabout it, I'm sick of talking
about it, I'm sick of feeling itand it's like I've already done
this.
Can't I be done?
Can't, can't this be over?
Aren't I healed?
Aren't I done dealing with this?
Can't I be done?
Can't this be over?
Aren't I healed?
Aren't I done dealing with this?
But the reality is is that lifeis almost like a spiral, and
it's not that I'm back where Iwas and so much of my work is
(37:16):
like don't panic, you don't needto panic, you're not
backsliding, you're meeting thispart of you in a new way, with
a new age, with a newperspective, with new integrity,
with new ways to integrate,with new tools.
But I'm still back.
I'm still back at that thingand I hate that thing.
I wish it was gone, but it'snot going to be gone because
(37:37):
it's a part of my reality, it'sa part of my experience, it's a
part of my humanity, andsometimes it's past stuff, but
sometimes it's present stuff.
Sometimes we are met with thingsthat are hard and it doesn't
matter how well we hold it, itdoesn't matter how many tools we
have.
Being human is hard.
We can't outrun it, we can'tout heal it, we can't outpace it
(38:00):
.
But what changes?
Everything is shifting the wayyou relate to it, shifting the
way that you hold it, shiftingthe way that you move through it
, and I wish you know there'sthat you can't go around it, you
can't go over it, you can't gounder it.
We must go through it and Ihate that.
(38:21):
For us, I hate that there arecomplex questions that don't
have easy answers.
I hate that a lot of the timeswhen I'm working with women on
their boundaries, there's nopretty perfect boundary that
doesn't involve conflict or thatdoesn't involve grief or anger
or possibly meeting the end of arelationship that sucks.
(38:44):
I want to give you a pretty bow.
I want to give you an easyfive-step process that will fix
it, and the reality is is thatyou are not a problem to be
fixed.
You are a person who deservesto be related to, loved on,
cared.
Your life matters because youmatter.
Your home matters because youmatter.
(39:05):
Your to-do list only mattersbecause you matter.
Your motherhood matters becauseyou matter, and because those
babies matter, your business,your work, it matters because
you matter.
You are not an object, you arethe subject, you are the hero of
your life and you know what'sso wild.
(39:25):
I don't know how I got here, butapparently this is what needed
to be said today, because I haveso many beautiful tools I can
teach you.
I have wonderful strategies.
I love good strategy.
I love a good like somaticnervous system, like deep inner
healing strategy, as much as Ilove those like high level,
(39:48):
almost like executive coaching,like mindset tools or emotional
regulation or intelligence or,oh my gosh, enneagram don't even
get me started on the Enneagramtools I can teach you, but at
the end of those days, at theend of the day, I can give you a
tool, but if you're using thattool to harm yourself and I see
this happening for a lot ofwomen with personal growth,
(40:09):
especially my fellow highfunctioners and perfectionists
we use these tools as a way toforce us into control, as a way
to optimize our productivity,not to optimize our humanity,
our relationships, ourexperience of this life, and
(40:33):
that's the shit that matters,because you matter.
Apparently.
Today, that's what we got is along love rant from me, to you,
of you matter, and in thisseason of summer it is absolute
(40:55):
chaos.
I, I know a lot of women arefeeling it.
I'm feeling it and I just wantto say you could be doing all of
the right things and it stillcould be hard, it still could be
a lot, and that doesn't meanthere aren't ways that we can
show up to it or shift it ormake it better.
And then also, sometimes it'sreally nice to have someone say
like yep, that shit's hard andthen send some funny memes about
(41:19):
it or make a joke about it orlike bring some humor or
laughter or tears.
Just that communal sharing oflife together is so often what
we need.
And I truly, I truly, trulyhope that this podcast is that
for you, at least a piece of it,at least a small dose of it,
(41:39):
for you, a place where we can behonest and really talk about
stuff and really share how itfeels and what it looks like.
And if you love this podcastand this is a yes for you would
you take a moment and leave areview?
It helps the podcast so much.
Or share it with a friend.
(42:01):
And also I want to share too.
I have a couple of ways that youcan work with me.
If you feel like you resonatewith this podcast, if you
resonate with my work, if youresonate with me and you feel
like this is something thatwould support you, that would
benefit you, I would love tohelp you.
(42:21):
I would love to support you.
I would love to be that personin your corner rooting for you
and helping you get up when youneed to get up and also helping
you sit down when you need tosit down and navigating this
life.
You are already doing anamazing job and it's also okay
for you to say I'm not drowningand I also want some help.
I could also use some support.
(42:41):
I could use a supportivecommunity of women.
So, at the time of this podcastreleasing, there's a couple of
different ways you can work withme.
You can work with me one-on-one.
That is the primary kind ofthing that I do with women is
one-on-one, somatic coaching andmentorship.
It involves all parts of youmindset, emotions, heart, soul,
(43:04):
your whole.
You are a whole person.
So everything and anything iswelcome to these calls
Relationships, parenting, yourrelationship to yourself, to
your body, to food, to yourbusiness, to your leadership,
your relationship to yourparents or your family or you
know, strategy stuff with homecare or balancing work, work
(43:29):
life balance right.
All of those things, all ofthose parts of you.
They're welcome to coachingbecause for so many women all of
those things are so deeplyintertwined.
It's all of those differentsubtle layers and nuances and
one of those things that we canwork on is patterns of
understanding where you are,where you are and where you want
(43:51):
to go, and mapping out how youmove into that, how you shift
your nervous system state, howyou shift the way that you're
showing up to things or the waythat you're not showing up to
things, the way that you meetconflict, the way that you meet
stress or dysregulation.
Those are all things that Ihelp women with.
I also do retreats.
I have a fall retreat coming upthat I have.
(44:13):
One spot left to the retreat isthat first weekend of October
and it's in Red Feather,Colorado.
And let me tell you, redFeather Colorado in October is
just about the most beautiful inOctober, is just about the most
beautiful, perfect scape Icould promise, like I could
probably give you.
It is chilly in the eveningsand the mornings and in the
(44:33):
afternoons Typically we get likethese beautiful sunny
afternoons and we do sessions onthe patio.
We do booty yoga, we do somaticwork, we do coaching, but we
also do family style dinners andgame nights and walks, and we
have coffee and we talk aboutanything and everything.
Sometimes it's light hearted,funny, hilarious conversations,
(44:57):
and sometimes it's the deepstuff that we usually don't have
room or space or time or evenpeople to talk about, the stuff
that we really want to say, thestuff that we really want to
hear, and so there's one spotleft for that, and I'll also be
hosting a retreat in the spring,probably sometime in April, and
that's going to be in Denver,colorado, and that one is going
(45:19):
to be phenomenal.
I'm so excited to share moreabout it.
I have not released any detailsyet, but I'm behind the scenes
scheming and planning and it'sgoing to be so epic.
So I have a wait list for thatand if you are local to Colorado
, to Northern Colorado, I havein-person masterminds.
I'm also doing some likesmaller day retreats.
I'm hoping to have some moreevents here soon.
(45:42):
I'm going to have a space soonand also I currently have an
online somatic healing coursethat you can kind of work
through on your own in your owntiming.
It's available as a privatepodcast, which I love because,
essentially, you can listen toit anywhere, anytime, it's easy
to access and it's very short,little lessons that give you
(46:06):
really tangible tools on ways toimplement this, and the reason
why I built that is I wanted avery accessible way to give
women these tools and this workwith yourself, and there's
meditations and there's somaticjournaling and pretty soon
there's going to be some breathwork there and some movement
that gives you what you need toshow up for yourself.
(46:26):
So if, if, you resonate with mywork with this podcast, um, and
you are craving that, I wouldabsolutely love to have you.
If you don't really know whatis best for you, the next best
thing is to.
Well, the next best thing,anyways, usually to work with me
is to set up a free interestcall and, just so you know I
(46:49):
will never be an icky, weirdsalesperson, I genuinely want
women to make decisions fromtheir agency, from their desire.
I want you to listen to yourfinancial, your time, your
energetic boundaries.
I want you to have the supportthat you deserve, that you
desire.
A lot of women that end upworking with me were looking for
(47:11):
a therapist originally and thenthey realized, like I don't
really need the digging deepinto the passive therapy.
I'm not really in crisis, Idon't really need therapy, I
just need something.
I need someone where I can like, sharpen and hone what I
already have, where I can buildon those foundations, like I
already have those fundamentalthings and now I want to build
(47:31):
on it, now I want to expand init.
Now I want more dynamic range,mentally or emotionally or the
way that I show up to my life.
That's the work that I do withwomen, and so I'm so grateful
that you took your time tolisten to this podcast.
I have just been rambling andranting here.
I was like I don't have wordsto say, and then, as soon as I
(47:53):
got started, um, here we are,here we are.
So, yeah, I don't know if Ihave anything else to say, if,
if there were parts of thispodcast that resonated with you.
If you have questions, if youhave something that you were
just like, oh my gosh, tell memore.
Or hey, can you talk about thistopic?
(48:13):
Will you message me?
You can DM me on social media.
You can send me an email.
There's a little button at thetop of the podcast notes where
you can text me.
I believe I don't even reallyknow how that works.
I should test it out.
No one's actually tried it yet,so maybe try that for me, but I
am so grateful to have you here, show up for your life.
(48:33):
As you leave this podcast, Iwant to ask, I want to encourage
you find one small, doablepiece of what this heard,
something, something thatresonated with you, something
that, like, deeply drew yourattention, and spend at least
the next couple minutes thinkingand feeling into that.
What does that look like for me?
What is that small, subtleshift that I can make?
(48:55):
What is the one straw right nowthat I need to do?
Or maybe you're someone whereyou're in this space, where
you're like okay, it's time forbig, it's time for investing big
or taking a big leap ormomentum.
And here's what I willencourage you If you don't know
what that is, you might have tostart taking action in order to
(49:16):
know what that is.
Sometimes we wait to knoweverything and sometimes knowing
is built by doing, by, byexperimenting, and you can
always change your mind.
But try something different,try something new.
Give yourself permission tomove and live and think in a new
way.
I'm gonna cut myself offbecause I'm a talker and I could
(49:37):
just talk and chat foreverwhenever.
Hopefully, pretty soon I'll beable to have the capacity to
come back and do some more likesomatic teachings and trainings
Apparently.
Today it's just not going tohappen.
But the last two podcasts onhere are so powerful.
(49:57):
They teach you some fundamentalskills that I come back to over
and over and over.
And there's also that freeworkbook.
It is linked in the podcastnotes.
It's this free workbook, whichhas incredible tools that you
can use not only for yourself,but they're also super, super
great to teach your kids.
Print out that emotions wheelor those body scans and print
(50:19):
them on the fridge.
Teach them to your kids.
They are very accessible and itcan really make a big impact in
your life and for your kids.
All right, I hope you have agreat day and I'll see you next
time.
Welcome to today's episode of the Motherhood Mentor
Podcast and honest moment.
I'm kind of giggling right nowas I'm talking, because I have
tried to start this podcastthree different times and each
time, as soon as I start talking, my words aren't like coming
out of my mouth and I'm just sofrustrated because I have all of
(00:27):
these things that I reallywanted to talk to you about,
that I wanted to teach you, allof these tools that I wanted to
give you.
I had a couple differentpodcasts that I was going to
record today.
I was going to record one onsome more somatic tools for you
in our somatic series.
I was also going to record apodcast on perfectionism and
ambition.
I was going to talk aboutsummer.
(00:48):
I was going to talk anotherepisode about body image and our
relationship to our bodies andour relationship to food and how
somatics has impacted that.
I was going to record anepisode about entrepreneurship
and my current journey andstruggles and what I'm learning
and what is helping me and alsomy clients.
I was going to record an ep,like I have.
(01:09):
I had like several different,really great episodes planned
out to record today and what'sso frustrating is that during
parts of my cycle I have thehardest time recording podcasts.
It's like the words get lostsomewhere between my brain, my
(01:31):
heart, wherever those words arecoming from.
As soon as I go to say them outof my mouth, it's like they get
lost, it's like I can't findthem.
And it's so frustrating becausethis only happens when I'm
luteal, if I'm doing a podcastinterview with someone, or you
know, I had a coaching call thismorning and the coaching call
was phenomenal as a coach, asresponsive, like I feel great in
(01:54):
that relational aspect.
But when I go to record soloepisodes when I'm luteal, I just
feel so stuck and I getfrustrated because I get so
distracted and I feel like I geteverywhere and I miss the plot
or I can't even get to the plotto start with, like I keep, and
it's just frustrating.
And so I was just like you knowwhat, instead of like forcing
(02:20):
myself to come here andstrategize, I figured I'd just
record a podcast today and justkind of share some random
thoughts that I also think couldbe really powerful in helping
you this summer.
(02:40):
That is always my goal is tohelp you with your actual, real
life.
I do not want to create apodcast, I don't want to create
content.
I don't want to create abusiness that says the same shit
that everybody else has said.
There is this like I just feellike I hear the same things from
everyone, because all they haveis information and they just
(03:03):
keep sharing information andstrategies and like here's what
to do, but they never share howit feels, the reality of what it
looks like.
And specifically today I wantto talk about the reality that
so many of you listening, somany of you, I can guarantee it
you are doing the right things,you have good habits, you have
(03:28):
good health.
You show up to your mental andemotional health, you are taking
care of yourself, you aretaking care of your home, your
family, you are showing upreally well as a mom, you are
showing up well to your business.
And what is so frustrating isthat you can do all of the right
things and not always get theresults that you want.
Or you're getting the results,that you can do all of the right
things and not always get theresults that you want.
Or you're getting the resultsthat you want, but it doesn't
(03:49):
feel how you want it to feel orhow you thought it would feel,
and that is so frustrating.
It is so frustrating when youcome to this place in your
healing or your personaldevelopment or your leadership,
when you realize that you canput in your input but there are
(04:09):
still variables that are outsideof your control and that really
sucks when you are a controlfreak.
That really sucks when you aresomeone who wants to double down
, not someone who wants toloosen their expectations.
I was talking in my mastermindyesterday.
(04:30):
I have a local mastermind ofmoms who are business owners,
who are always wanting to growand heal and they care.
They care so much about howthey show up for themselves and
the people in their lives andtheir roles and responsibilities
and they're trying to staycentered and grounded and
continue to expand and explorenew ways to show up to these
(04:52):
roles into these areas of theirlives.
But we are talking about how,when you are healing your
perfectionism, a lot of timesthere is a part of you.
When you do the right thing,when you do the thing that
aligns most to your values, it'ssometimes not doing something
more.
It's not doing something, it is.
I know how to hold it alltogether.
(05:15):
I know how to do it all, butwhat I don't know how to do is
nothing.
I don't know how to just take achill pill, I don't know when
to quit, I don't know how toquit, I don't know how to lose,
and we don't realize that thatperfectionism is keeping us
stuck trying to beat a game thatwe don't have to play anymore.
(05:36):
And when you're healing fromperfectionism, it's almost like
that part of you.
There's constantly a part of methat I feel like is just
sitting in the corner crying orthrowing a fit or glaring at me
or rolling her eyes, or is justlike super annoyed that I'm not
doing the thing that I should bedoing, that I want to be doing,
and that is extremelyfrustrating.
(05:58):
It's uncomfortable, especiallywhen I was first healing from
perfectionism, when I was firsttrying to find this balance, if
you will, between the parts ofme that are so ambitious, the
parts of me.
There are parts of me and Ilove these parts of me that will
always see and feel the gap inevery area.
(06:20):
I care way too much and I likethat about myself.
I used to hate that aboutmyself.
It used to frustrate me so bad.
I don't know what it's like tobe nonchalant.
I don't know what it is to notcare deeply about my role as a
mother, about the way that Icare for my home, the way that I
take care of my body, the waythat I show up to my marriage,
(06:43):
the way that I'm building mybusiness both on the front end
of my business but mostly theback end of my business how I
coach women, the experience theyhave, the way that I sell what
I'm doing, the way that I talkabout what I'm doing, the way
that I give back.
I care so much about my impactand my influence and my
leadership over my life,personally and professionally so
(07:06):
much.
And that is so hard because Ican tangibly see and feel that
gap between where I am, wheresomething is and where it could
be.
I constantly am seeing thepotential and that can be a
beautiful permission.
That can be this like creativelife force, this creative energy
(07:26):
, and it can be this like gas inthe tank.
That has me showing up tothings when they don't make
sense.
That has me showing up whenit's not working, when it seems
like it's failing, when it'staking too long.
That has me showing up on thoseshit hard days where there are
voices in my head or voices inthe culture that tell me that
like it's not worth it.
(07:47):
You don't have to do this.
It could be easier.
Why don't you just let it go?
Why don't you take it easy?
But that is not me.
That's not who I am anymore andthat wasn't always the case.
But I love the parts of me thatsee where I can be constantly,
consistently improving.
And a lot of people get thiswrong about perfectionism.
(08:08):
Perfectionism isn't this thingin me that wants me and
everybody else to be perfect.
At least that's what I wouldtell you logically in my head
and the women.
I've learned so much languageabout this experience and how we
heal it, how we integrate it ina new way, because their
expectations are for holy andgood things.
(08:29):
Women who are perfectionisticare deeply connected to their
values, deeply connected totheir purpose, deeply connected
to making things more beautiful,to healing and health and
growth.
They are engines.
They are people who keep thingsmoving.
They are leaders.
They are women who are willingto.
They are leaders.
They are women who are willingto be wrong about things.
But here is the hard part withperfectionism A lot of times,
(08:52):
that ambition and thatperfectionism, it can become
maladaptive and it can make ushyper-controlling and it can
make us, it can create thisspace in our heads and our
hearts and our bodies where weare always in fight and fight
mode.
We are constantly hyper,fixating on what is wrong, on
what could be better, and it canbecome this immense pressure.
(09:15):
That pressure in your body canlook and feel like high
functioning anxiety.
It can look like overworking,it can be over giving in
relationships and anxiety.
It can look like overworking,it can be over giving in
relationships.
It can be being overlyempathetic, which is actually a
massive problem.
I'm going to try to not get onthat rabbit trail right now.
But when you're, when we'retalking about perfectionism and
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ambition, I always like to tellwomen this is a wonderful,
beautiful part of you, but howold?
This is a wonderful, beautifulpart of you, but how old is this
part of you?
Is she a young teen girl?
Because a young teen girl who'sperfectionistic is going to
make very different choices thana woman who can feel how old
she is, a woman who can feelagency and choice and actually
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what her deep, deep values arethat are under the surface.
That isn't always gas are thatare under their surface.
That isn't always gas.
When you are driving a car, itcan feel so good to go 75 or 80
miles an hour.
That can feel so good.
So I want you to think of thispart of you as the gas in your
life.
This is the gas in the tankthat drives you to do things
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that other people aren't willingto do sometimes.
It is the thing that helps youstart that business, even though
you're scared as hell.
It can be the part of you thatsets the boundary, even though
it's massively uncomfortable.
It can be the part of you thatis like get up, girl, girl, get
up.
Like, get up and do the thing,show up to what you value, put
your, put your, put your lifewhere your mouth is Like don't
(10:48):
just talk about it, be about it,do about it.
That is the gas in the car andthat is a beautiful, healthy,
wonderful part of you.
But for so, so many women, thatperfectionistic part of them is
actually this fight and flightmode that caused you to hyper
and overachieve and overfunction, and it can be so
exhausting because it feels likeeverything is on you, because
(11:08):
often you are the one in theroom who sees where things could
be better, who sees what needsto be done, who sees what needs
to do, and that is a bigresponsibility to be not just
the thermometer who reads theroom, but the thermostat who is
moving the temperatureemotionally, practically
(11:29):
managing the actual tasks.
It can be exhausting to feellike your foot is stuck on the
gas, like you can't slow down,and that is the problem with so
many women and theirperfectionism.
It's not that you can't haveyour gas, it's not that you
can't go fast, it's that youhave learned the skill of doing
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everything and doing all of itand doing it to a hundred
percent.
But what happens when you dropcapacity and motherhood is that
season for so many women.
For some women it comes earlyin motherhood.
For some women it hits thattoddler season.
The toddler season is probablythe most common season when
women come to work with mebecause they finally have some
(12:13):
time and energy capacity.
But all of a sudden they'regoing.
It's not even that I can't gothis fast, it's that I don't
want to anymore.
It's that my body, my soul, mybeing is saying this is too much
or I'm going so fast and I'mmissing it.
That is one of the highestthings that women say that they
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want is like I don't want tomiss this season, and they're
terrified of slowing down,because all their body knows is
all or nothing.
They only know full gas or fullburnout and collapse.
They haven't learned the art ofslowing down or pulling over.
They haven't learned how tobeautifully, wonderfully, wholly
(12:55):
fall apart To honor your holyhumanity and your pace in life.
And pace is not as much abouthow fast you're going, it's are
you going so fast that your soulcan't keep up?
Are you going so slow thatyou're burning out because you
don't have enough of the rightthings on your plate?
(13:15):
Or you're going in the completewrong direction?
But you're so focused onoutcome, you're so focused on
can I?
That you're not asking should Iand at what cost?
I am deeply ambitious about mybusiness, deeply, and I am
consistently needing to holdmyself back because my values
(13:37):
require it and also sometimesbecause that is the season of
life that I am in and it is whatmy family requires.
Your family might be different.
Your family might be different.
Your capacity might bedifferent, your support system,
the way that you run yourbusiness.
Also, shout out to the moms whoaren't working because they
wanted to.
You're working because yourfamily needs it.
That is a very good reason towork.
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That is a very good reason tocontribute to your family to
provide for your family.
That is a very good reason tocontribute to your family to
provide for your family.
That is a very good, validreason to be working and there
is nothing to be ashamed of ofthat.
And what we are told is that wecan do it all.
And people talk about this at avery high level and they're
constantly like you don't haveto do it all and I don't have to
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do it all.
But the reality is a lot of thewomen that I work with, if they
don't do it, no one else will,and it is actually very, very
uncomfortable to start lookingat your life and recognizing
what you do and what you do notcontrol, because you know how to
do it all, but what your bodydoesn't know how to do is do
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nothing or do less, or thereality of getting out of that
all or all or nothing, the onagain, off again, which happens
very much in perfectionism.
And some women are stuck in theall of everything, where
they're like I'm doing it alland externally everything looks
great, but internally I am dying.
(15:03):
Inside.
I have all of this success andall of these wonderful,
beautiful things that I wantedand needed, and I don't even get
to enjoy them anymore.
I used to be fun.
I miss actually feeling likeI'm in the room or that I have
grace and compassion for theparts of my life that are messy,
because every little thing isstarting to set me off.
(15:26):
I'm starting to see and smellthe smoke of burnout coming.
But here's the thing for highfunctioners High functioners are
often perfectionists and highfunctioners when I tell you you
absolutely can pour for an emptycup, in fact you're used to
pouring from an empty cup.
You are used to running on fumesand being able to show up with
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much, much less than what youactually require to do that full
of life, full of joy, full ofenergy, full of passion and
purpose.
Because a lot of you who areambitious, it's not that you
wanna quit, it's that you can'tkeep up with the pace that
you're trying to force yourselfto do.
But quitting doesn't feel likean option.
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It doesn't feel like an optionto lower your standards in
business or to lower yourexpectations in motherhood or
showing up for your marriage,and you refuse to stop doing
these things and it's likethat's great.
I'm not.
I would never ask you to, butin order to keep doing those
things, you are going to have to, it is a non-negotiable for you
to figure out how to get gas inthe tank, to figure out how to
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use the gas and the brakesappropriately, how to meet the
pace of your life with presence,with capacity, how to get
enough support for you.
And support and capacity come inmany different facets it's
physical, it's biological, it'smental, it's emotional, it is
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your environment, it's yourcommunity.
The two things that I findwomen are lacking most is that
community and that compassionhaving someone outside of
yourself to witness you, to seeyou, to help you process.
You are in a space and a seasonwhere you are giving and taking
care of everyone else andyou're doing an okay job at
(17:19):
taking care of you.
And I think what's hard for alot of high functioners is if
you compare yourself to otherwomen and I know we're not
supposed to compare ourselves,but the reality is is that you
do, you're already doing morethan everyone else.
You're already showing up toyour mental, emotional, physical
health more than everyone elseyou see is.
But here's the thing the moreyou want to give, the more
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quantity you want to produce andthe more quality you want to
produce.
If you care about your outcomes, you need to start thinking and
realizing that you are thebiggest input factor.
How you are cared for and howmuch you can receive and how
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much support you can have inyour life will directly impact
every role and relationship youhave.
When you are a leader insideyour home and your personal life
maybe in your family that youcreated, or your family that
like your bloodline, or when youare the leader of your business
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, the reality is is that you areasking yourself to show up to a
new level of maturity.
Show up to a new level ofmaturity, a new level of
emotional mental capacity and,especially if you care about the
health and the quality of whatyou're doing, who you are and
how you're creating, you have tomake it a non-negotiable to be
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pouring into those buckets foryou.
If you are the woman who isspinning all of the plates, if
you are the woman who isjuggling all of the pots on the
stove, if you are the person, ifit's all on you, then you
better make sure that you areinvesting in yourself in ways
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that give you the capacity toshow up to that, or you will
burn out.
You will watch your marriage oryour motherhood or your
business burn out because youare the gas in the tank for
those things.
It is so backwards when we talkabout self-care isn't selfish
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that that doesn't speak to theproblem directly.
Because I've yet to meet awoman who, mentally and
logically, is like it's selfishfor me to take up this time or
this space or these finances,like I feel guilty walking away
from my family for a weekend togo on a retreat, and it's like
there's a difference betweenguilt and discomfort.
(19:52):
It is uncomfortable for youbecause you are used to the one
taking care of everyone and itfeels weird to make sure you're
taken care of, to acknowledgethat you have massive amounts of
messy human needs and the morethat you do, the more that you
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give, the more that you want toserve, the more you need in your
tank.
You require more because youare expecting yourself to hold
more and you want to hold it ina specific way.
It matters to you how you holdit.
It matters to you how you showup.
So if your standards of yourbehaviors, of your relationships
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, of your communication, of yourleadership, of your business,
whatever it is, if you have highvalues and standards for that.
You're going to have to raiseyour standards for how you take
care of yourself, and this isgoing past just the foundational
things.
It's going into the nuancedsubtleties that are slowly
(20:58):
seeping and seeking energy outof you.
This is getting into energeticand emotional boundaries.
This is getting into yournervous system regulation, and
right now there's such a trendaround nervous system regulation
and being calm.
But what I want to tell you is,when you are leading your
household, when you are leadingyour kids, when you are leading
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other people whether they areclients, whether it's other
people that you work with youoften need to have the strongest
nervous system in the room,strongest nervous system in the
room.
And that's a big ask because,ideally and originally, what we
need as humans is other peopleto co-regulate with, and this is
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one of the biggest reasons whyI do local masterminds, why I do
retreats, why I do coachinggroups, is because your nervous
system needs co-regulation withpeople who are as regulated as
you or more regulated than you.
You need to be in a room withwomen who are just as and
(22:04):
sometimes more, emotionallyaware, intelligent than you are.
You need women who are showingup to their lives with these
high expectations and standards?
Who can see things that you'renot seeing?
Who can speak to it and unshamethe places where you are
shaming and holding thisperfectionistic ideal over your
(22:27):
head instead of allowing you tobreathe?
I cannot tell you how muchhealing I have witnessed happen
by women getting in a room andwitnessing each other, women who
can really see you and speak tothe things in your life at the
depth and the quality that youwant to talk to them about.
(22:47):
One of the reasons that Istarted the Motherhood Mentor
way way back in 2020, well, 2019, 2020, is that I saw these kind
of two different spaces forwomen.
I saw these spaces whereeverything was pretty and
perfect and and everything wasgreat and I loved the positivity
(23:08):
in those rooms because I alsoloved motherhood, I also loved
marriage, I also wanted to lovemy life and the reality was is
that I was burning out, I wassinking, I was going through
deep, intensive healing and likeCPTSD and I was like there is
so much shit happening in mylife.
But then it was either likethat room or it seems like there
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was these other tables where,like women just shit talked
everything.
They hated their husbands, theyhated their lives.
They talked shit about theirkids all the time and I was like
where is this middle place?
Where?
Where are the rooms?
Where are the circles of womenwho are telling the truth about
their messy middles, their messyhumanities?
I'm in the process.
I'm not on the other side yet.
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I need to talk about the hardstuff.
I need to be real and honestand talk about what's actually
happening in my own body, what'sactually happening in my
marriage, what's actuallyhappening in my motherhood.
I need to talk to someone abouthow I don't know what the hell
I'm doing.
I need to talk to someone aboutthe reality that I don't know
how to have a relationship withmy parents right now.
I don't know what boundaries Ineed to have, but I can't keep
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doing it this way.
Where are the rooms where wecan tell the truth, but we can
do it in a way that bringsresponsibility and ownership,
where we can talk about hardthings in a fully race-filled
way, not as victims, not asmartyrs, but also not in this
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I'm going to keep everythingreally pretty and perfect.
But also I needed a room wherewomen don't need me to be small
and insecure and hate myself inorder to be likable and
understood.
And when I do have those things, I want women who are going to
help me heal, help me expand,help me grow, how to help me
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think and feel and show updifferently to myself in my life
.
I want women, when I bring aproblem to the table, to be able
to not just witness me but tobe able to say I love you, right
where you are and I'm not goingto leave you there when I tell
you this impossible, improbabledream.
I need women who know what it'slike to want something that
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seems so crazy, who aren'tafraid for me, who do not under
or overestimate me, who seeexactly who I am and my worth
and where I'm headed and who I'mbecoming.
That changes you.
That changes you because we areso used to doing everything in
a bubble and I am very supported.
(25:43):
I have incredible friends.
I have incredible friends who Ihave, like these different I
have, like I have a village, butit looks totally different than
what I thought it would,because different people in my
life serve different pieces andplaces.
In my village, in my life, Ihave people who are like my mom,
(26:05):
friends and we raise our babiestogether and we, you know, swap
kids and they pick up my kidsfrom school or they take my kids
to sports, or, you know, I taketheir kids for the day and
their kids play with my kids allday so I can get some work done
.
And then I have friends who,like we, could talk about
business all day long.
We talk about ambition, we talkabout podcasting and business
and all of these differentassets.
(26:26):
Or I have my friends wherewe're always talking about deep
inner healing and childhood andsoul work and religion and we're
talking about, like, verydifferent topics.
I have this very wide spectrumof who I go to for what, and
that's not exactly what I alwaysthought it would be, but that's
just how my life is.
But the point I was getting tois the reality is I still often
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like I'm the only one.
I'm the only one in my marriage, married to my husband, I'm the
only one who is parenting thesekids.
I'm the one who's there Tuesdaynight at 9 pm when my teenager
wants to have this deep, hardconversation.
I'm the one.
There is a very real lonelinessto life and no one wants to name
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that.
No one wants to come out andsay there is a loneliness that
is very real.
That isn't because you arealone.
It's because you are the one.
This is your life and there issome stuff that is just yours.
This is your circus, these areyour monkeys.
That is why it is anon-negotiable to take care of
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you, to figure out how tosupport you, to figure out how
to build yourself up and alsowhere and when and how other
people can care for you and showup to you in your life.
That is vulnerable as hell.
That is very hard for a lot ofwomen to start building
relationships where they are notthe one relied on, they're the
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one relying on someone else.
It's hard for a lot of women tofind those spaces.
And I totally got a little bitoff the topic of perfectionism
and ambition.
But I think this is so, soimportant because I think a lot
of women who are highlyambitious, they have been
pedestalized by communities, byother women, as they don't need
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anything because they haveeverything.
They give such an impression ofhaving it all and there is a
reality to that.
There is a reality of successor this life that you built.
That is really beautiful.
And it can be very, very hardwhen you feel like people either
other people or you yourselfyou have been pedestalized, you
(28:47):
have been placed as this.
She doesn't need anything.
You have to kind of keep upthis professional persona of
having it all together andhaving all the answers and you
make sure that you always cleanup your mess before you let
other people see it.
You have a real strategic wayto solve your problem before you
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even let other people into theprocess, because the process is
messy and it's vulnerable and itshows all of your weaknesses
and vulnerability and what weneed especially when you're a
leader, especially when you havea very public persona,
especially when a lot of otherpeople in your life don't have
emotional intelligence to showup to the depth and the
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self-responsibility that you'reliving to.
You need rooms, you need spaceswhere you get to be fully you,
where all of the parts of youget to show up to the table, the
really successful, badass parts, and also the moments where
you're just a girl, where youknow all the right answers but
(29:52):
you forgot.
Where you get dysregulated,where you have shit that you go
through and you know all theright answers but you forgot.
Where you get dysregulated,where you have shit that you go
through and you know what.
Maybe it's shit that youcreated, or maybe it's something
that you didn't ask for, itwasn't your fault.
But now it's yourresponsibility.
Like breaking cycles, healingyour family lineage, like that
shit's hard.
If it feels hard and heavy,that's because it is, but when
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you can get into a room of otherwomen doing that work, it is so
much less lonely because nowyou have language, now you see
the other ways that are optionsto you.
But the powerful thing isyou're seeing the nuance of it.
There's time and space for thenuance of it, which there isn't
time and space for on Instagram.
It's insane that we have lostour capacity for slowing down
(30:42):
and really talking aboutsomething.
I don't want to talk about thehigh-level strategy.
I want to talk about the humanone.
We have so much informationthat very few people have
capacity to integrate, to showup and embody something, to
stick with something that theyknow and then know it to their
(31:04):
bones, to do it over and overand over again for a long time.
But that is how you buildintegrity.
Integrity is not a fast process, it is a continual process.
Balance Balance in your life,balancing your ambition and your
humanity, your desire to justhave slow cups of coffee,
(31:26):
reading a book, your desire toslow down and play with your
kids, your desire to be a womanof ease, your desire to have
satisfaction and play andpleasure and rest and ease in
your life those two parts of youget to coexist.
They get to coexist when youbuild a relationship to yourself
(31:49):
, when you stop looking outsideyourself to some fancy strategy
or planner or this newinformation and you get down
deep into what your soul knowsand what your soul doesn't know.
What does your body know andwhat does your body not know?
Yet you know how to do it all,but does your body know how to
really lean back and let shit go?
(32:11):
Do you know how to witnessother people without taking on
their emotions?
Do you know how to meetconflict and communication with
your partner when they'redysregulated?
When you're dysregulated andboth of your dysregulations are
clashing?
Do you know how to show up toyour kid when they are
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triggering the hell out of you,whether they're triggering the
hell out of you because they'rejust so loud and playful and
unruly, or they're triggeringthe heck out of you because
they're doing something thathits you right in that core of
shit.
I don't want to see my baby gothrough what I went through.
There is so much going on inyour life that's a reality.
(32:54):
It's not just a feeling ofoverwhelm, it's quite literally.
No.
This is too much for a humanbody, this is too much for a
girl, and I'm notunderestimating you.
If anything almost every womanI've ever met she is vastly
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underestimating herself, whatshe is capable of, what she is
worth, her value that she bringsjust by existing.
I'm obsessed with the women thatI work with.
I deeply love and care aboutthem and I like them.
They are the coolest, mostbadass people and so often they
are so good at controllingthemselves.
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They have gotten so good atself-control, but what they
don't have is self-trust.
They have this bracing, thislocked down.
I have to lock it down, I haveto control this, I have to fix
this, and what I love to do isteach them how to open their
hands, teach them how to leanback, teach them how to breathe
(33:56):
again without letting go ofcontrol, because we're not
trying to make your life out ofcontrol or you out of control,
but the beautiful thing is, whenyou trust yourself, you don't
need control because you haveleadership, because you have
trust and relationship toyourself in every part of you,
the ambitious parts of you, butalso those younger part of you.
The ambitious parts of you, butalso those younger parts of you,
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the parts of you that are stillself-sabotaging, the parts of
you that don't think they'reready yet, the parts of you that
are afraid, the parts of youthat are downright terrified or
burnt out or exhausted oremotional.
Those parts of you exist.
They're always going to exist.
It's not getting rid of them.
Healing is not getting rid ofthose.
Messy parts of you exist.
They're always going to exist.
It's not getting rid of them.
Healing is not getting rid ofthose messy parts of you.
(34:38):
It's learning to lead them andbe with them and sit with them
and relate to them.
And sometimes, sometimes thatlooks like boundaries, sometimes
that looks like breaks,sometimes that looks like
reparenting yourself, likeyou're a little toddler or a
teenager throwing a fit orhaving a bad day and you have to
parent yourself in ways thatyou don't like.
(35:00):
It's not the fun, cutesyself-care.
It's the baptizing a cat kindof self-care.
It's the I don't want to, butI'm going to anyways because I
love myself.
It's learning how to talk backto your inner critic, how to
retrain your brain to look foreverything that's going right
instead of only seeing whatyou're doing wrong.
There are so many ways.
(35:24):
There are small, nuanced,little things that are going to
change your life and those whenyou start, it's you know that
saying it's the straw thatbreaks the camel's back, it's
also the taking care of thosestraws that make sure the
camel's back doesn't break.
It's showing up to them, it'staking care of them.
(35:47):
And the reality.
I know this reality wellbecause it's still true in my
life to this day.
And this is my literalprofession.
It's my literal profession todo this for other women and I
still struggle with it.
And there's some seasons whereit's easier and then there's
some seasons where it's harder.
And let can I just be honestwith you for a minute.
It is not convenient.
(36:09):
It's not convenient and it'salso not comfortable for me.
And again, like I said, I dothis for a living and I've also
done this in my personal life.
I mean, I've got a reallystrong and very long track
record of showing up for myselfand let me tell you there are
(36:29):
still seasons or days or momentswhere I don't want to, where
it's inconvenient anduncomfortable.
I think I've shared a little biton this podcast in previous
episodes that this fall I wentthrough this really intensive,
deep healing from some reallyhard parts of my life, and one.
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It's frustrating because I feellike whenever those things come
back, I'm like sick of hearingabout it, I'm sick of talking
about it, I'm sick of feeling itand it's like I've already done
this.
Can't I be done?
Can't, can't this be over?
Aren't I healed?
Aren't I done dealing with this?
Can't I be done?
Can't this be over?
Aren't I healed?
Aren't I done dealing with this?
But the reality is is that lifeis almost like a spiral, and
it's not that I'm back where Iwas and so much of my work is
(37:16):
like don't panic, you don't needto panic, you're not
backsliding, you're meeting thispart of you in a new way, with
a new age, with a newperspective, with new integrity,
with new ways to integrate,with new tools.
But I'm still back.
I'm still back at that thingand I hate that thing.
I wish it was gone, but it'snot going to be gone because
(37:37):
it's a part of my reality, it'sa part of my experience, it's a
part of my humanity, andsometimes it's past stuff, but
sometimes it's present stuff.
Sometimes we are met with thingsthat are hard and it doesn't
matter how well we hold it, itdoesn't matter how many tools we
have.
Being human is hard.
We can't outrun it, we can'tout heal it, we can't outpace it
(38:00):
.
But what changes?
Everything is shifting the wayyou relate to it, shifting the
way that you hold it, shiftingthe way that you move through it
, and I wish you know there'sthat you can't go around it, you
can't go over it, you can't gounder it.
We must go through it and Ihate that.
(38:21):
For us, I hate that there arecomplex questions that don't
have easy answers.
I hate that a lot of the timeswhen I'm working with women on
their boundaries, there's nopretty perfect boundary that
doesn't involve conflict or thatdoesn't involve grief or anger
or possibly meeting the end of arelationship that sucks.
(38:44):
I want to give you a pretty bow.
I want to give you an easyfive-step process that will fix
it, and the reality is is thatyou are not a problem to be
fixed.
You are a person who deservesto be related to, loved on,
cared.
Your life matters because youmatter.
Your home matters because youmatter.
(39:05):
Your to-do list only mattersbecause you matter.
Your motherhood matters becauseyou matter, and because those
babies matter, your business,your work, it matters because
you matter.
You are not an object, you arethe subject, you are the hero of
your life and you know what'sso wild.
(39:25):
I don't know how I got here, butapparently this is what needed
to be said today, because I haveso many beautiful tools I can
teach you.
I have wonderful strategies.
I love good strategy.
I love a good like somaticnervous system, like deep inner
healing strategy, as much as Ilove those like high level,
(39:48):
almost like executive coaching,like mindset tools or emotional
regulation or intelligence or,oh my gosh, enneagram don't even
get me started on the Enneagramtools I can teach you, but at
the end of those days, at theend of the day, I can give you a
tool, but if you're using thattool to harm yourself and I see
this happening for a lot ofwomen with personal growth,
(40:09):
especially my fellow highfunctioners and perfectionists
we use these tools as a way toforce us into control, as a way
to optimize our productivity,not to optimize our humanity,
our relationships, ourexperience of this life, and
(40:33):
that's the shit that matters,because you matter.
Apparently.
Today, that's what we got is along love rant from me, to you,
of you matter, and in thisseason of summer it is absolute
(40:55):
chaos.
I, I know a lot of women arefeeling it.
I'm feeling it and I just wantto say you could be doing all of
the right things and it stillcould be hard, it still could be
a lot, and that doesn't meanthere aren't ways that we can
show up to it or shift it ormake it better.
And then also, sometimes it'sreally nice to have someone say
like yep, that shit's hard andthen send some funny memes about
(41:19):
it or make a joke about it orlike bring some humor or
laughter or tears.
Just that communal sharing oflife together is so often what
we need.
And I truly, I truly, trulyhope that this podcast is that
for you, at least a piece of it,at least a small dose of it,
(41:39):
for you, a place where we can behonest and really talk about
stuff and really share how itfeels and what it looks like.
And if you love this podcastand this is a yes for you would
you take a moment and leave areview?
It helps the podcast so much.
Or share it with a friend.
(42:01):
And also I want to share too.
I have a couple of ways that youcan work with me.
If you feel like you resonatewith this podcast, if you
resonate with my work, if youresonate with me and you feel
like this is something thatwould support you, that would
benefit you, I would love tohelp you.
(42:21):
I would love to support you.
I would love to be that personin your corner rooting for you
and helping you get up when youneed to get up and also helping
you sit down when you need tosit down and navigating this
life.
You are already doing anamazing job and it's also okay
for you to say I'm not drowningand I also want some help.
I could also use some support.
(42:41):
I could use a supportivecommunity of women.
So, at the time of this podcastreleasing, there's a couple of
different ways you can work withme.
You can work with me one-on-one.
That is the primary kind ofthing that I do with women is
one-on-one, somatic coaching andmentorship.
It involves all parts of youmindset, emotions, heart, soul,
(43:04):
your whole.
You are a whole person.
So everything and anything iswelcome to these calls
Relationships, parenting, yourrelationship to yourself, to
your body, to food, to yourbusiness, to your leadership,
your relationship to yourparents or your family or you
know, strategy stuff with homecare or balancing work, work
(43:29):
life balance right.
All of those things, all ofthose parts of you.
They're welcome to coachingbecause for so many women all of
those things are so deeplyintertwined.
It's all of those differentsubtle layers and nuances and
one of those things that we canwork on is patterns of
understanding where you are,where you are and where you want
(43:51):
to go, and mapping out how youmove into that, how you shift
your nervous system state, howyou shift the way that you're
showing up to things or the waythat you're not showing up to
things, the way that you meetconflict, the way that you meet
stress or dysregulation.
Those are all things that Ihelp women with.
I also do retreats.
I have a fall retreat coming upthat I have.
(44:13):
One spot left to the retreat isthat first weekend of October
and it's in Red Feather,Colorado.
And let me tell you, redFeather Colorado in October is
just about the most beautiful inOctober, is just about the most
beautiful, perfect scape Icould promise, like I could
probably give you.
It is chilly in the eveningsand the mornings and in the
(44:33):
afternoons Typically we get likethese beautiful sunny
afternoons and we do sessions onthe patio.
We do booty yoga, we do somaticwork, we do coaching, but we
also do family style dinners andgame nights and walks, and we
have coffee and we talk aboutanything and everything.
Sometimes it's light hearted,funny, hilarious conversations,
(44:57):
and sometimes it's the deepstuff that we usually don't have
room or space or time or evenpeople to talk about, the stuff
that we really want to say, thestuff that we really want to
hear, and so there's one spotleft for that, and I'll also be
hosting a retreat in the spring,probably sometime in April, and
that's going to be in Denver,colorado, and that one is going
(45:19):
to be phenomenal.
I'm so excited to share moreabout it.
I have not released any detailsyet, but I'm behind the scenes
scheming and planning and it'sgoing to be so epic.
So I have a wait list for thatand if you are local to Colorado
, to Northern Colorado, I havein-person masterminds.
I'm also doing some likesmaller day retreats.
I'm hoping to have some moreevents here soon.
(45:42):
I'm going to have a space soonand also I currently have an
online somatic healing coursethat you can kind of work
through on your own in your owntiming.
It's available as a privatepodcast, which I love because,
essentially, you can listen toit anywhere, anytime, it's easy
to access and it's very short,little lessons that give you
(46:06):
really tangible tools on ways toimplement this, and the reason
why I built that is I wanted avery accessible way to give
women these tools and this workwith yourself, and there's
meditations and there's somaticjournaling and pretty soon
there's going to be some breathwork there and some movement
that gives you what you need toshow up for yourself.
(46:26):
So if, if, you resonate with mywork with this podcast, um, and
you are craving that, I wouldabsolutely love to have you.
If you don't really know whatis best for you, the next best
thing is to.
Well, the next best thing,anyways, usually to work with me
is to set up a free interestcall and, just so you know I
(46:49):
will never be an icky, weirdsalesperson, I genuinely want
women to make decisions fromtheir agency, from their desire.
I want you to listen to yourfinancial, your time, your
energetic boundaries.
I want you to have the supportthat you deserve, that you
desire.
A lot of women that end upworking with me were looking for
(47:11):
a therapist originally and thenthey realized, like I don't
really need the digging deepinto the passive therapy.
I'm not really in crisis, Idon't really need therapy, I
just need something.
I need someone where I can like, sharpen and hone what I
already have, where I can buildon those foundations, like I
already have those fundamentalthings and now I want to build
(47:31):
on it, now I want to expand init.
Now I want more dynamic range,mentally or emotionally or the
way that I show up to my life.
That's the work that I do withwomen, and so I'm so grateful
that you took your time tolisten to this podcast.
I have just been rambling andranting here.
I was like I don't have wordsto say, and then, as soon as I
(47:53):
got started, um, here we are,here we are.
So, yeah, I don't know if Ihave anything else to say, if,
if there were parts of thispodcast that resonated with you.
If you have questions, if youhave something that you were
just like, oh my gosh, tell memore.
Or hey, can you talk about thistopic?
(48:13):
Will you message me?
You can DM me on social media.
You can send me an email.
There's a little button at thetop of the podcast notes where
you can text me.
I believe I don't even reallyknow how that works.
I should test it out.
No one's actually tried it yet,so maybe try that for me, but I
am so grateful to have you here, show up for your life.
(48:33):
As you leave this podcast, Iwant to ask, I want to encourage
you find one small, doablepiece of what this heard,
something, something thatresonated with you, something
that, like, deeply drew yourattention, and spend at least
the next couple minutes thinkingand feeling into that.
What does that look like for me?
What is that small, subtleshift that I can make?
(48:55):
What is the one straw right nowthat I need to do?
Or maybe you're someone whereyou're in this space, where
you're like okay, it's time forbig, it's time for investing big
or taking a big leap ormomentum.
And here's what I willencourage you If you don't know
what that is, you might have tostart taking action in order to
(49:16):
know what that is.
Sometimes we wait to knoweverything and sometimes knowing
is built by doing, by, byexperimenting, and you can
always change your mind.
But try something different,try something new.
Give yourself permission tomove and live and think in a new
way.
I'm gonna cut myself offbecause I'm a talker and I could
(49:37):
just talk and chat foreverwhenever.
Hopefully, pretty soon I'll beable to have the capacity to
come back and do some more likesomatic teachings and trainings
Apparently.
Today it's just not going tohappen.
But the last two podcasts onhere are so powerful.
(49:57):
They teach you some fundamentalskills that I come back to over
and over and over.
And there's also that freeworkbook.
It is linked in the podcastnotes.
It's this free workbook, whichhas incredible tools that you
can use not only for yourself,but they're also super, super
great to teach your kids.
Print out that emotions wheelor those body scans and print
(50:19):
them on the fridge.
Teach them to your kids.
They are very accessible and itcan really make a big impact in
your life and for your kids.
All right, I hope you have agreat day and I'll see you next
time.
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