August 12, 2024 • 25 mins
Was Eddie Murphy’s participation in "Best Defense" a career misstep or a necessary detour? Join us as we unravel the fascinating story of the 1984 film "Best Defense," starring Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moore, notorious for being one of the worst movies ever made. We take you through Eddie Murphy’s journey, from his initial hesitation, motivated solely by a hefty paycheck, to his profound regret post the film's disastrous reception. Along the way, we share our own struggle to track down this cinematic enigma, culminating in an eye-opening viewing experience on Showtime that validated all the critical disdain.
In this episode, we contrast the chaotic wartime narrative and comedic interludes that feature Murphy, despite his limited screen presence, as the film's saving grace. We also explore Dudley Moore’s career trajectory, from the heights of "10" and "Arthur" to the lows of "Best Defense." The conversation delves into the bogus marketing strategies that misleadingly spotlighted Murphy, leveraging his rising fame and inadvertently paving the way for his breakout role in "Beverly Hills Cop." This episode is a testament to the industry's knack for misallocating talent and the frustration that ensues when star power fails to salvage a fundamentally flawed film. Tune in to hear our candid take on a cautionary tale of missed potential and erroneous marketing gambits.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now, briefly, here are some more entries in our
Hall of Shame for 1984, Stinkersof the Year and let's not
forget Best Defense.
Eddie Murphy and Dudley Mooremade a bad film in 1984, and
they made it together.
Best Defense, a stupid militaryespionage story.
I read an interview where EddieMurphy said that this was going
to be his apology for BestDefense, which was an awful film
(00:22):
, and he knew it was an awfulfilm.
Well, he still owes us a goodone.
Yeah, I think so still.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
We've been waiting for a long time.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Yes, we've been waiting for a long, long time.
Good morning, my neighbors.
Jesus Christ, this is becomingvery irritating.
(01:00):
Hey, everybody, welcome toanother episode of the murphy
monday podcast, the only podcastthat celebrates the life and
career of Eddie Murphy.
I'm your host, nigel AFullerton.
Today is going to be a shortone.
This is going to be a veryshort episode.
We are talking about the movieBest Defense.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Ladies and gentlemen, eddie Murphy, thank you, thank
you, thank you.
(02:06):
This is very bizarre, because Igrew up on this show.
It's bizarre to host it.
I feel strange and I'm verynervous because I haven't done
this in a year and a half, sojust bear with me.
I said last year that when Ileft this show, I swore that I
would never do Saturday NightLive again because I said the
show was terrible Really and Idid 48 hours in trading places.
I swore that I would never doSaturday Night Live again
because I said the show wasterrible Really and I did 48
(02:27):
hours in trading places and Ifelt like I was an actor.
Now I was like Saturday NightLive Ha, really.
That was my vibe last year.
And after I did 48 hours intrading places, all these
scripts started coming fromeverywhere and I picked up a
script called Best Defense.
Here's a movie that sucked realbad At first.
(02:50):
I wasn't gonna do it because Iread the script and I felt like
I was an actor.
But the money they gave me todo it y'all would have did Best
Defense too.
Okay, but I read the script atfirst and the script was
terrible.
I was like what?
How dare you give me a scriptlike this oh, that much money,
let's go.
So I read the script for BestDefense.
I went out and did Best Defense.
Best Defense turned out to bethe worst movie ever done in the
(03:13):
history of anything.
And all of a sudden I wasn'tthat hot, no more.
So I called up the producer,saturday Night Live, and I go um
, you still got my dressing roomand he said why don't you come
back on the show and host theChristmas show?
So I said bet.
So I signed the contract tohost the Christmas show and
while I was waiting forChristmas to come, sitting in my
house by myself, somebodybrought a script for a movie
(03:36):
called Beverly Hills Cop.
I did Beverly Hills Cop.
Beverly Hills Cop is a hit.
All of a sudden I'm an HillsCop.
Beverly Hills Cop is a hit.
All of a sudden I'm an actoragain.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
But it's too late to pull out, so I had to hold the
store.
What is best defense?
I asked that question a longtime ago, about 20 years ago.
I had watched the best of EddieMurphy on Saturday Night Live
and in his monologue he talkedabout Best Defense, a movie that
sucked really bad and I wasreally trying to figure out what
(04:13):
is Best Defense.
Didn't know what it was.
I tried to Google it At thattime Google was not really
helpful.
There was no IMDB, so I couldn'ttell if this movie existed or
didn't exist.
So I went searching.
I searched for video stores, Isearched blockbuster, I searched
all these different places totry and find a movie when one
(04:36):
day comes on showtime of allplaces out of the blue.
And I watched this movie andEddie Murphy was right.
This movie was terrible.
But you find out why.
You find out why this movie isterrible only because this movie
was not made to star EddieMurphy.
(04:57):
If you look at the poster forthis movie, it says that Eddie
Murphy is a strategic guest star.
Now what does that mean,strategic guest star?
I had never seen that in amovie before, but I did some
research and I found out thatBest Defense is a movie that was
for Dudley Moore.
This is a Dudley Moore project.
(05:18):
Now, many people might not knowwho Dudley Moore is.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
The nominees for Best Performance by an actor in a
motion picture, musical orcomedy are Steve Martin, All of
Me.
Dudley Moore, mickey and Maude,eddie Murphy, beverly Hills Cop
, bill Murray, ghostbusters,Robin Williams, moscow on the
(05:43):
Hudson.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
But the winner is.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Dudley Moore.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Well, I guess I suppose Eddie, Steve, Robin and
Bill were just not up to parthis year.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Dudley Moore is an English actor, comedian,
musician and composer.
Now, deadly Moore used to havea guy that he used to do comedy
routines with named Peter Cookand they used to do this on BBC
and came to America and startedgetting hot in America you know
about the mid 60s, early 70s andthen they broke up and suddenly
(06:30):
Dudley Moore started doing hisown movies.
Now, he started off withBedazzled in 1967.
Then the movie Foul Play in1978.
But he got his big, big breakin 1979's 10.
10 is a movie with Bo Derek andDudley Moore where Dudley Moore
is stalking her.
I don't know how this movie wasmade.
(06:51):
This movie seems creepy.
I've never seen it, but Iwatched the trailer and I'm here
to tell you this could not bemade in 2024.
Couldn't do it.
But then you have another moviewhich was a big hit for him in
1981, called Arthur.
Now, growing up, I used to hearabout Arthur all the time.
Uh, I just knew that he was adrunk.
But people love this movieArthur, so much so that they
(07:14):
made a sequel to Arthur and aremake of Arthur uh, in I
believe it was 2010.
Wasn't good either, but still,arthur is a big deal.
So at the time Dudley Moore washot, like you know.
He still had.
He had a couple movies thatdidn't do too well but people
(07:35):
know him for the movies 10 andthe movies movie Arthur don't
you wish you were Arthur.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Would the more attractive of you please step
forward.
It's going to cost you $100.
Let's make it $200, but I willask you to Simonize my car.
How rich are you?
I wish I had a dime for everydime I have.
Anticipating your condition, Ibrought you orange juice, coffee
(08:13):
and aspirins.
Or do you need to throw upHallelujah?
Kiss your wife like that.
I'm not married.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Keep smiling 6-8-8-5-5-4-9.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a
woman of your stature.
I take it this bum will becalling you.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Dad, he's a millionaire.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
You have my permission to marry him.
Are you a hooker?
I forgot.
I just thought I was doinggreat with you will you take my
hand?
That would leave you with one.
I'm gonna take my coat.
You don't have a coat.
Oh, I'm gonna take my time.
(09:01):
You're gonna rich one.
How does it feel to have allthat money?
It?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
feels great.
Here comes Best Defense.
Now, best Defense came out inthe summer of 1984.
It actually debuted number tworight after Ghostbusters, which
is a pretty big deal becauseGhostbusters was cleaning up
back then.
So to be number two at the boxoffice after Ghostbusters, it's
(09:35):
kind of a big deal.
Now, no-transcript.
It didn't do well.
The movie received poor, poor,poor reactions and previews.
When they do previews of amovie they're testing to see
what the audience likes.
You know, if the audience wouldlike this, if we put this out,
how would the audience react?
And the real audience reactpoorly.
(09:57):
So Paramount didn't know whatto do.
They were like they werescrounging.
They tried to see what they cando to fix it.
Somebody came up with the broadidea of saying, hey, why don't
we put this guy, eddie Murphy,in it?
He had just did 48 hours intrading places, he hadn't done
Beverly Hills cop yet.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
The only movie I've had a bad feeling about, when
picking up the script was bestoffense before I even opened it
up.
The script was Best OffenseBefore I even opened it up.
It was like and I opened thescript up and read it and I felt
bad, but they had a check likeI had never seen before.
My morals and principles wentright out the window.
(10:36):
My career almost went out withit too.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That was a small part .
Speaker 2 (10:41):
You were just barely in the film, right, they told me
.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
They told me.
I was like look, eddie, we'renot going to advertise much with
you, it's a Dudley Moore film.
Next thing I know Eddie Murphy,best defense and I'm standing
there like this.
So that's what happened.
Tell us how big the check was.
It was big.
It was more money than I hadbeen paid to do 48 hours in
(11:03):
trading places, combined to doBest Offense.
Oh my, that's how much money itwas.
So that's how I was.
I freaked man.
You mean, you really wereaffected by the role in Best
Offense.
I was affected emotionally, Iwas upset.
Yeah Well, you learnedsomething there, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Next time you see a check, go like Well, you learned
something there.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Next time you see a check, go, don't just take it
because the script is.
If the script ain't good, Idon't think I'd do another movie
just for money anymore.
Yeah, yeah, that's like Well,unless it's like a tremendous
amount, because people you can'tget mad at a guy for that Well.
(11:45):
No, I think they'd understandmore if you told them the exact
amount.
It was a lot of money, a lot ofdough.
It was a lot of money to dothat part for the time that I
spent doing it.
It was like a weekend orsomething right.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
A motel in New Jersey or something.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
No, it was like I worked three months on $40,000,
three months on trading placesand this was like more money to
work a week on another movie.
So it was like Hollywood goesnuts.
If you do a good movie, Thinkabout it.
There are guys that do like one, two good movies and don't do
another good movie for like tenmovies and still get.
Hollywood is crazy.
They just keep shoveling and Iwould.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
You can't blame people for saying that's a big
check, so you know, uh now youhave this movie best defense,
where you have deadly moore,who's had two big hit movies, as
well as eddie murphy.
Now if they would have did thismovie probably together or not
(12:43):
have Eddie Murphy as anafterthought because, again
remember, he is a strategicguest star.
Look at the poster.
He is a strategic guest star.
I've never heard that before.
But they tack him into thismovie, which was bad to begin
(13:07):
with.
They get rid of some of thescenes of the movie so Eddie
Murphy's character can fit in.
Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moorenever meet in this movie.
They never meet.
They're in two different years.
Dudley moore is in 1982creating a tank for the us
(13:28):
government and in 1984 eddiemurphy is the guy that drives
the tank.
He is the operator of the tank,he's a lieutenant colonel or
whatever.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Get out of the way we have some problems with the
tank.
It's all right, it's ourdemonstration, but perhaps we
should just move back and Pleasemove over.
Said stop the tank please.
How do you say get the fuck outof the way in Arabic Run away.
Oh shit, Lieutenant, whathappened?
(14:07):
The navigation system went outagain.
I'm telling you this tank isscrewed.
This tank's a goddamn lemonLemon.
Look, don't hit the tank.
All right, I'm not teaching youto hit the tank.
That's not a lesson.
Now, look, I gotta go andexplain to this lady why we're
doing renovations to our house.
To hit the tank.
That's not a lesson.
Now, look, I gotta go andexplain this lady why we doing
renovations to our house.
(14:29):
Oh hi.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I'm Lieutenant Landry from the United States Army.
Yummy, the tank got a littleout of hand.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Eddie Murphy is a US Army lieutenant who is sent to
Kuwait to demonstrate the XM-10Annihilator, america's latest
main battle tank, which isequipped with a Cooper system.
It was played by Dudley Moore.
Because of the tank's poordesign and shoddy construction,
(15:03):
eddie Murphy and his crew arebarely able to control or
navigate the XM-10 before itleaves the proving grounds and
wanders into a combat zoneduring Iraq's invasion of Kuwait
.
Now, since Eddie Murphy andDudley Moore never directly have
any contact in the film, theplot shows how decisions made by
(15:25):
Dudley Moore affect EddieMurphy.
So whatever happened in 1982,it's affecting Eddie.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Murphy in 1984.
That's important because thatmeans that nothing Dudley Moore
did fixed the tank.
So, eddie Murphy, would be okay, cut the bullshit Landry.
Where are you?
Hell?
If I knew, if I knew, Iwouldn't have to call you.
I feel like I'm in gold withthe wind, people running around.
They're burning down Atlanta orsomething.
Oh, wait a second, I thinkwe're near.
Um Om El Cabrat, om El Cabrat,om El Cabrat, some shit.
(16:13):
I don't know how you say it butthat's where we're near.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Om El Cabrat Romeo, you just entered the battle zone
.
What battle zone.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Landry.
This morning Iraq invadedKuwait.
We got a real war on here andyou are in a Kuwaiti tank.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
No you guys don't understand.
I'm just like training with acouple of boys out here.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I ain't in no real war or no shit like that.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Tell it to the Iraqis Landry.
They should be on top of youany minute.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Now Shit, I got to tell somebody something.
Oh my God, don't slow down guys.
Please wait a second.
You're making a mistake here.
I have nothing against Iraq.
I love Iraq.
I'm not in this war, I'm fromCleveland.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Every time you see Eddie Murphy on screen, it's
hilarious.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
All right, that's it.
Activate the 50 caliber.
I'm tired of this garbage.
I'm going to teach this dumbdesert cowboy a lesson.
All right, now you're going tosee what happens when you mess
around with Lieutenant TM Landry.
You don't mean to Now you'regonna see what happens when you
mess around with Lieutenant TMLandry.
Nothing works on this damn tape.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Send out my Rich, little Rich.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Little.
All right, do Michael JacksonVery good.
Now do James Brown very good.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
now do james brown hot pants it's like you're
watching two different moviesand eddie murphy's having a
blast in the movie that he's in.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Dudley Moore is just doing Dudley Moore things I wish
he was.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Arthur in this no-transcript.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
As a tank specialist, like he's just making tanks and
he's drunk, I wish that thatwould have been funnier than
what deadly moore gave us.
I don't want to look around.
Is there a big blonde guy atthe bar?
Speaker 2 (18:46):
well, no, I, I don't see.
Oh wait, there is a guy justjust coming in, that's him.
Seven o'clock.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Sharp In ten minutes.
I'm supposed to meet that guyIn the bathroom.
Check See he says his name isJeff and he has a condo in the
marina, but that's not his realname.
No, no.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Um, if this doesn't go right and something happens
to me, I never got a chance togive my son Morgan the fatherly
advice and the bits of wisdomI've picked up through the years
.
Like never pass up anopportunity to take a piss.
(19:32):
Mutual funds are the worst.
Fat girls tend to take a piss.
Mutual funds are the worst.
Fat girls tend to come a lot.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Is that true?
Eddie Murphy's movie's great.
However, if you put all ofEddie Murphy's clips together in
this movie, it's about sixminutes.
I'm almost positive.
If you don't believe me, go toyoutube.
You can find best defense, sixminute clips.
(20:05):
I can't give any more away ofthis movie.
I don't think I there isanything else to say about this
movie.
Um, I don't know how to fixthis.
I don't.
I don't know how to make thisbetter.
This movie's bad.
I I'm telling you this to saveyou from watching it, because
you might be like me.
You might.
It's.
This is a cautionary tale.
(20:26):
You might want to go watch thisand say, oh, this is bad, but
this is bad.
Like, don't be one of thosepeople that like to sit down and
watch bad movies and then getlike mad and start making fun of
it.
Like some people think thatwatching bad movies is funny.
It's not funny.
There's no humor.
It's not fun.
(20:50):
This movie, like I said, I fellasleep three times trying to
watch this, to the point where Iown this movie and I can.
I fell asleep three timestrying to watch this, to the
point where I own this movie andI can't get through it.
I haven't watched in a longtime.
There has been one instancewhere I've seen the whole movie
but I couldn't do it and that'swhy I'm giving you this short
(21:10):
episode.
I'm giving you this shortepisode because I couldn't do an
hour long episode on this.
There's nothing.
There's nothing here with this.
I couldn't have a guest talk toyou about what they liked about
this movie, because there'snothing to like.
The only thing to like is EddieMurphy as a war hero, and I
(21:32):
think that is funny.
I think that this could havebeen like the black version of
stripes, you know, instead ofyou know, stripes with, uh, bill
Murray and Howard Ramis, youknow.
You could have had Eddie Murphyand like it could have been,
you know, whatever it could havebeen like.
This could have been like theearly version of a coming to
America, where you have EddieMurphy as an army lieutenant and
(21:56):
Arsenio Hall as like one of hispeople in his platoon.
That would have been funny.
But again, this is not an EddieMurphy movie.
This is a Dudley Moore movie.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Not that it was a rotten movie, but it wasn't as
successful as some of yourmovies, and that is best defense
.
Now, looking back on it, do youhave any regrets about doing it
?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Well, I only regret that I never saw it until it was
all signed and sealed anddelivered, and I also regret
that.
I mean my basic criticism isthat the human element was left
outside.
That included myself and mywife in the film, which was a
very endearing part of the film,and was somehow eliminated, and
(22:43):
I felt very sad that thathappened, because it lost
dimension because of that.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Do you think that people were a little
disappointed some people becauseyou and Eddie Murphy never had
scenes together.
Do you think that was part ofit?
Disappointed some peoplebecause you and Eddie Murphy
never had scenes together?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
You think that was part of it.
Well, it was never stated tothe public or anybody that we
were in scenes together.
In fact, it was made clear thatwe didn't have any scenes
together, but I guess peoplejust wouldn't believe it.
I don't know if it was people.
It was just not made clearenough, or something he does.
Eddie has tended to appear inconjunction with various people
(23:20):
with great success, so it wasinevitable.
They should assume that he wasgoing to be in conjunction with
me.
But it's like everybody mightthink that, you know, every film
I do is going to be like Arthur.
It's not, you know, and if Iplay a politician in a serious
role, like I did in six weeks,it's not always palatable to an
audience.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
And that is a trope that happens in Eddie Murphy's
career.
I often say that about themovie Holy man with Eddie Murphy
and Jeff Goldblum, where theyjust tack Eddie Murphy all over
the whole cover of the movieposter and he's not the main
focus.
(24:00):
The main focus is Jeff Goldblum.
Same thing with this.
The poster for this DudleyMoore movie just has Eddie
Murphy behind it.
They figured that they can makeEddie Murphy the bigger star
just by putting him there.
And what's interesting and Iguess this is the saving grace,
(24:21):
what's interesting about this isthat eddie murphy's parts in
this movie are so good, so good,plus his previous work.
But if you look at him, he isso good you want to watch the
movie that eddie murphy is in.
You want to.
And that opens up the gatewayof saying, hey, why don't we put
eddie murphy as the star of amovie?
(24:44):
And that's how we got beverlyhills cop.
Because think about it, beverlyhills cop was not supposed to be
for eddie murphy.
I've said it several times.
This is it was not supposed.
There was like several peoplethat were supposed to be the
bevel hills cop, not onlysylvester salone, mickey rourke,
uh, a couple other people weresupposed to be the bevel hills
(25:06):
cop, and they gave it to eddiemurphy because, again, he was a
big star.
He tried to.
You know, he gave a movie thathad no laughs, laughs.
This movie, best defense, hadno laughs and he gave it its
comedy.
The reason why best defense isconsidered a comedy is because
of eddie murphy, and that's whathappened with the movie.
(25:29):
This movie had to run, so sobeverly hills cop could fly and
I'll leave it at that.
If you haven't already, pleaselike, share and subscribe.
Tell an Eddie Murphy fan,telling a Murphy man hey, you
love this podcast and, with allhearts and minds clear, let's
end this show.
Now, briefly, here are some more entries in our
Hall of Shame for 1984, Stinkersof the Year and let's not
forget Best Defense.
Eddie Murphy and Dudley Mooremade a bad film in 1984, and
they made it together.
Best Defense, a stupid militaryespionage story.
I read an interview where EddieMurphy said that this was going
to be his apology for BestDefense, which was an awful film
(00:22):
, and he knew it was an awfulfilm.
Well, he still owes us a goodone.
Yeah, I think so still.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
We've been waiting for a long time.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Yes, we've been waiting for a long, long time.
Good morning, my neighbors.
Jesus Christ, this is becomingvery irritating.
(01:00):
Hey, everybody, welcome toanother episode of the murphy
monday podcast, the only podcastthat celebrates the life and
career of Eddie Murphy.
I'm your host, nigel AFullerton.
Today is going to be a shortone.
This is going to be a veryshort episode.
We are talking about the movieBest Defense.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Ladies and gentlemen, eddie Murphy, thank you, thank
you, thank you.
(02:06):
This is very bizarre, because Igrew up on this show.
It's bizarre to host it.
I feel strange and I'm verynervous because I haven't done
this in a year and a half, sojust bear with me.
I said last year that when Ileft this show, I swore that I
would never do Saturday NightLive again because I said the
show was terrible Really and Idid 48 hours in trading places.
I swore that I would never doSaturday Night Live again
because I said the show wasterrible Really and I did 48
(02:27):
hours in trading places and Ifelt like I was an actor.
Now I was like Saturday NightLive Ha, really.
That was my vibe last year.
And after I did 48 hours intrading places, all these
scripts started coming fromeverywhere and I picked up a
script called Best Defense.
Here's a movie that sucked realbad At first.
(02:50):
I wasn't gonna do it because Iread the script and I felt like
I was an actor.
But the money they gave me todo it y'all would have did Best
Defense too.
Okay, but I read the script atfirst and the script was
terrible.
I was like what?
How dare you give me a scriptlike this oh, that much money,
let's go.
So I read the script for BestDefense.
I went out and did Best Defense.
Best Defense turned out to bethe worst movie ever done in the
(03:13):
history of anything.
And all of a sudden I wasn'tthat hot, no more.
So I called up the producer,saturday Night Live, and I go um
, you still got my dressing roomand he said why don't you come
back on the show and host theChristmas show?
So I said bet.
So I signed the contract tohost the Christmas show and
while I was waiting forChristmas to come, sitting in my
house by myself, somebodybrought a script for a movie
(03:36):
called Beverly Hills Cop.
I did Beverly Hills Cop.
Beverly Hills Cop is a hit.
All of a sudden I'm an HillsCop.
Beverly Hills Cop is a hit.
All of a sudden I'm an actoragain.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
But it's too late to pull out, so I had to hold the
store.
What is best defense?
I asked that question a longtime ago, about 20 years ago.
I had watched the best of EddieMurphy on Saturday Night Live
and in his monologue he talkedabout Best Defense, a movie that
sucked really bad and I wasreally trying to figure out what
(04:13):
is Best Defense.
Didn't know what it was.
I tried to Google it At thattime Google was not really
helpful.
There was no IMDB, so I couldn'ttell if this movie existed or
didn't exist.
So I went searching.
I searched for video stores, Isearched blockbuster, I searched
all these different places totry and find a movie when one
(04:36):
day comes on showtime of allplaces out of the blue.
And I watched this movie andEddie Murphy was right.
This movie was terrible.
But you find out why.
You find out why this movie isterrible only because this movie
was not made to star EddieMurphy.
(04:57):
If you look at the poster forthis movie, it says that Eddie
Murphy is a strategic guest star.
Now what does that mean,strategic guest star?
I had never seen that in amovie before, but I did some
research and I found out thatBest Defense is a movie that was
for Dudley Moore.
This is a Dudley Moore project.
(05:18):
Now, many people might not knowwho Dudley Moore is.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
The nominees for Best Performance by an actor in a
motion picture, musical orcomedy are Steve Martin, All of
Me.
Dudley Moore, mickey and Maude,eddie Murphy, beverly Hills Cop
, bill Murray, ghostbusters,Robin Williams, moscow on the
(05:43):
Hudson.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
But the winner is.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Dudley Moore.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Well, I guess I suppose Eddie, Steve, Robin and
Bill were just not up to parthis year.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Dudley Moore is an English actor, comedian,
musician and composer.
Now, deadly Moore used to havea guy that he used to do comedy
routines with named Peter Cookand they used to do this on BBC
and came to America and startedgetting hot in America you know
about the mid 60s, early 70s andthen they broke up and suddenly
(06:30):
Dudley Moore started doing hisown movies.
Now, he started off withBedazzled in 1967.
Then the movie Foul Play in1978.
But he got his big, big breakin 1979's 10.
10 is a movie with Bo Derek andDudley Moore where Dudley Moore
is stalking her.
I don't know how this movie wasmade.
(06:51):
This movie seems creepy.
I've never seen it, but Iwatched the trailer and I'm here
to tell you this could not bemade in 2024.
Couldn't do it.
But then you have another moviewhich was a big hit for him in
1981, called Arthur.
Now, growing up, I used to hearabout Arthur all the time.
Uh, I just knew that he was adrunk.
But people love this movieArthur, so much so that they
(07:14):
made a sequel to Arthur and aremake of Arthur uh, in I
believe it was 2010.
Wasn't good either, but still,arthur is a big deal.
So at the time Dudley Moore washot, like you know.
He still had.
He had a couple movies thatdidn't do too well but people
(07:35):
know him for the movies 10 andthe movies movie Arthur don't
you wish you were Arthur.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Would the more attractive of you please step
forward.
It's going to cost you $100.
Let's make it $200, but I willask you to Simonize my car.
How rich are you?
I wish I had a dime for everydime I have.
Anticipating your condition, Ibrought you orange juice, coffee
(08:13):
and aspirins.
Or do you need to throw upHallelujah?
Kiss your wife like that.
I'm not married.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Keep smiling 6-8-8-5-5-4-9.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a
woman of your stature.
I take it this bum will becalling you.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Dad, he's a millionaire.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
You have my permission to marry him.
Are you a hooker?
I forgot.
I just thought I was doinggreat with you will you take my
hand?
That would leave you with one.
I'm gonna take my coat.
You don't have a coat.
Oh, I'm gonna take my time.
(09:01):
You're gonna rich one.
How does it feel to have allthat money?
It?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
feels great.
Here comes Best Defense.
Now, best Defense came out inthe summer of 1984.
It actually debuted number tworight after Ghostbusters, which
is a pretty big deal becauseGhostbusters was cleaning up
back then.
So to be number two at the boxoffice after Ghostbusters, it's
(09:35):
kind of a big deal.
Now, no-transcript.
It didn't do well.
The movie received poor, poor,poor reactions and previews.
When they do previews of amovie they're testing to see
what the audience likes.
You know, if the audience wouldlike this, if we put this out,
how would the audience react?
And the real audience reactpoorly.
(09:57):
So Paramount didn't know whatto do.
They were like they werescrounging.
They tried to see what they cando to fix it.
Somebody came up with the broadidea of saying, hey, why don't
we put this guy, eddie Murphy,in it?
He had just did 48 hours intrading places, he hadn't done
Beverly Hills cop yet.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
The only movie I've had a bad feeling about, when
picking up the script was bestoffense before I even opened it
up.
The script was Best OffenseBefore I even opened it up.
It was like and I opened thescript up and read it and I felt
bad, but they had a check likeI had never seen before.
My morals and principles wentright out the window.
(10:36):
My career almost went out withit too.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That was a small part .
Speaker 2 (10:41):
You were just barely in the film, right, they told me
.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
They told me.
I was like look, eddie, we'renot going to advertise much with
you, it's a Dudley Moore film.
Next thing I know Eddie Murphy,best defense and I'm standing
there like this.
So that's what happened.
Tell us how big the check was.
It was big.
It was more money than I hadbeen paid to do 48 hours in
(11:03):
trading places, combined to doBest Offense.
Oh my, that's how much money itwas.
So that's how I was.
I freaked man.
You mean, you really wereaffected by the role in Best
Offense.
I was affected emotionally, Iwas upset.
Yeah Well, you learnedsomething there, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Next time you see a check, go like Well, you learned
something there.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Next time you see a check, go, don't just take it
because the script is.
If the script ain't good, Idon't think I'd do another movie
just for money anymore.
Yeah, yeah, that's like Well,unless it's like a tremendous
amount, because people you can'tget mad at a guy for that Well.
(11:45):
No, I think they'd understandmore if you told them the exact
amount.
It was a lot of money, a lot ofdough.
It was a lot of money to dothat part for the time that I
spent doing it.
It was like a weekend orsomething right.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
A motel in New Jersey or something.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
No, it was like I worked three months on $40,000,
three months on trading placesand this was like more money to
work a week on another movie.
So it was like Hollywood goesnuts.
If you do a good movie, Thinkabout it.
There are guys that do like one, two good movies and don't do
another good movie for like tenmovies and still get.
Hollywood is crazy.
They just keep shoveling and Iwould.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
You can't blame people for saying that's a big
check, so you know, uh now youhave this movie best defense,
where you have deadly moore,who's had two big hit movies, as
well as eddie murphy.
Now if they would have did thismovie probably together or not
(12:43):
have Eddie Murphy as anafterthought because, again
remember, he is a strategicguest star.
Look at the poster.
He is a strategic guest star.
I've never heard that before.
But they tack him into thismovie, which was bad to begin
(13:07):
with.
They get rid of some of thescenes of the movie so Eddie
Murphy's character can fit in.
Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moorenever meet in this movie.
They never meet.
They're in two different years.
Dudley moore is in 1982creating a tank for the us
(13:28):
government and in 1984 eddiemurphy is the guy that drives
the tank.
He is the operator of the tank,he's a lieutenant colonel or
whatever.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Get out of the way we have some problems with the
tank.
It's all right, it's ourdemonstration, but perhaps we
should just move back and Pleasemove over.
Said stop the tank please.
How do you say get the fuck outof the way in Arabic Run away.
Oh shit, Lieutenant, whathappened?
(14:07):
The navigation system went outagain.
I'm telling you this tank isscrewed.
This tank's a goddamn lemonLemon.
Look, don't hit the tank.
All right, I'm not teaching youto hit the tank.
That's not a lesson.
Now, look, I gotta go andexplain to this lady why we're
doing renovations to our house.
To hit the tank.
That's not a lesson.
Now, look, I gotta go andexplain this lady why we doing
renovations to our house.
(14:29):
Oh hi.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I'm Lieutenant Landry from the United States Army.
Yummy, the tank got a littleout of hand.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Eddie Murphy is a US Army lieutenant who is sent to
Kuwait to demonstrate the XM-10Annihilator, america's latest
main battle tank, which isequipped with a Cooper system.
It was played by Dudley Moore.
Because of the tank's poordesign and shoddy construction,
(15:03):
eddie Murphy and his crew arebarely able to control or
navigate the XM-10 before itleaves the proving grounds and
wanders into a combat zoneduring Iraq's invasion of Kuwait
.
Now, since Eddie Murphy andDudley Moore never directly have
any contact in the film, theplot shows how decisions made by
(15:25):
Dudley Moore affect EddieMurphy.
So whatever happened in 1982,it's affecting Eddie.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Murphy in 1984.
That's important because thatmeans that nothing Dudley Moore
did fixed the tank.
So, eddie Murphy, would be okay, cut the bullshit Landry.
Where are you?
Hell?
If I knew, if I knew, Iwouldn't have to call you.
I feel like I'm in gold withthe wind, people running around.
They're burning down Atlanta orsomething.
Oh, wait a second, I thinkwe're near.
Um Om El Cabrat, om El Cabrat,om El Cabrat, some shit.
(16:13):
I don't know how you say it butthat's where we're near.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Om El Cabrat Romeo, you just entered the battle zone
.
What battle zone.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Landry.
This morning Iraq invadedKuwait.
We got a real war on here andyou are in a Kuwaiti tank.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
No you guys don't understand.
I'm just like training with acouple of boys out here.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I ain't in no real war or no shit like that.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Tell it to the Iraqis Landry.
They should be on top of youany minute.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Now Shit, I got to tell somebody something.
Oh my God, don't slow down guys.
Please wait a second.
You're making a mistake here.
I have nothing against Iraq.
I love Iraq.
I'm not in this war, I'm fromCleveland.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Every time you see Eddie Murphy on screen, it's
hilarious.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
All right, that's it.
Activate the 50 caliber.
I'm tired of this garbage.
I'm going to teach this dumbdesert cowboy a lesson.
All right, now you're going tosee what happens when you mess
around with Lieutenant TM Landry.
You don't mean to Now you'regonna see what happens when you
mess around with Lieutenant TMLandry.
Nothing works on this damn tape.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Send out my Rich, little Rich.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Little.
All right, do Michael JacksonVery good.
Now do James Brown very good.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
now do james brown hot pants it's like you're
watching two different moviesand eddie murphy's having a
blast in the movie that he's in.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Dudley Moore is just doing Dudley Moore things I wish
he was.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Arthur in this no-transcript.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
As a tank specialist, like he's just making tanks and
he's drunk, I wish that thatwould have been funnier than
what deadly moore gave us.
I don't want to look around.
Is there a big blonde guy atthe bar?
Speaker 2 (18:46):
well, no, I, I don't see.
Oh wait, there is a guy justjust coming in, that's him.
Seven o'clock.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Sharp In ten minutes.
I'm supposed to meet that guyIn the bathroom.
Check See he says his name isJeff and he has a condo in the
marina, but that's not his realname.
No, no.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Um, if this doesn't go right and something happens
to me, I never got a chance togive my son Morgan the fatherly
advice and the bits of wisdomI've picked up through the years
.
Like never pass up anopportunity to take a piss.
(19:32):
Mutual funds are the worst.
Fat girls tend to take a piss.
Mutual funds are the worst.
Fat girls tend to come a lot.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Is that true?
Eddie Murphy's movie's great.
However, if you put all ofEddie Murphy's clips together in
this movie, it's about sixminutes.
I'm almost positive.
If you don't believe me, go toyoutube.
You can find best defense, sixminute clips.
(20:05):
I can't give any more away ofthis movie.
I don't think I there isanything else to say about this
movie.
Um, I don't know how to fixthis.
I don't.
I don't know how to make thisbetter.
This movie's bad.
I I'm telling you this to saveyou from watching it, because
you might be like me.
You might.
It's.
This is a cautionary tale.
(20:26):
You might want to go watch thisand say, oh, this is bad, but
this is bad.
Like, don't be one of thosepeople that like to sit down and
watch bad movies and then getlike mad and start making fun of
it.
Like some people think thatwatching bad movies is funny.
It's not funny.
There's no humor.
It's not fun.
(20:50):
This movie, like I said, I fellasleep three times trying to
watch this, to the point where Iown this movie and I can.
I fell asleep three timestrying to watch this, to the
point where I own this movie andI can't get through it.
I haven't watched in a longtime.
There has been one instancewhere I've seen the whole movie
but I couldn't do it and that'swhy I'm giving you this short
(21:10):
episode.
I'm giving you this shortepisode because I couldn't do an
hour long episode on this.
There's nothing.
There's nothing here with this.
I couldn't have a guest talk toyou about what they liked about
this movie, because there'snothing to like.
The only thing to like is EddieMurphy as a war hero, and I
(21:32):
think that is funny.
I think that this could havebeen like the black version of
stripes, you know, instead ofyou know, stripes with, uh, bill
Murray and Howard Ramis, youknow.
You could have had Eddie Murphyand like it could have been,
you know, whatever it could havebeen like.
This could have been like theearly version of a coming to
America, where you have EddieMurphy as an army lieutenant and
(21:56):
Arsenio Hall as like one of hispeople in his platoon.
That would have been funny.
But again, this is not an EddieMurphy movie.
This is a Dudley Moore movie.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Not that it was a rotten movie, but it wasn't as
successful as some of yourmovies, and that is best defense
.
Now, looking back on it, do youhave any regrets about doing it
?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Well, I only regret that I never saw it until it was
all signed and sealed anddelivered, and I also regret
that.
I mean my basic criticism isthat the human element was left
outside.
That included myself and mywife in the film, which was a
very endearing part of the film,and was somehow eliminated, and
(22:43):
I felt very sad that thathappened, because it lost
dimension because of that.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Do you think that people were a little
disappointed some people becauseyou and Eddie Murphy never had
scenes together.
Do you think that was part ofit?
Disappointed some peoplebecause you and Eddie Murphy
never had scenes together?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
You think that was part of it.
Well, it was never stated tothe public or anybody that we
were in scenes together.
In fact, it was made clear thatwe didn't have any scenes
together, but I guess peoplejust wouldn't believe it.
I don't know if it was people.
It was just not made clearenough, or something he does.
Eddie has tended to appear inconjunction with various people
(23:20):
with great success, so it wasinevitable.
They should assume that he wasgoing to be in conjunction with
me.
But it's like everybody mightthink that, you know, every film
I do is going to be like Arthur.
It's not, you know, and if Iplay a politician in a serious
role, like I did in six weeks,it's not always palatable to an
audience.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
And that is a trope that happens in Eddie Murphy's
career.
I often say that about themovie Holy man with Eddie Murphy
and Jeff Goldblum, where theyjust tack Eddie Murphy all over
the whole cover of the movieposter and he's not the main
focus.
(24:00):
The main focus is Jeff Goldblum.
Same thing with this.
The poster for this DudleyMoore movie just has Eddie
Murphy behind it.
They figured that they can makeEddie Murphy the bigger star
just by putting him there.
And what's interesting and Iguess this is the saving grace,
(24:21):
what's interesting about this isthat eddie murphy's parts in
this movie are so good, so good,plus his previous work.
But if you look at him, he isso good you want to watch the
movie that eddie murphy is in.
You want to.
And that opens up the gatewayof saying, hey, why don't we put
eddie murphy as the star of amovie?
(24:44):
And that's how we got beverlyhills cop.
Because think about it, beverlyhills cop was not supposed to be
for eddie murphy.
I've said it several times.
This is it was not supposed.
There was like several peoplethat were supposed to be the
bevel hills cop, not onlysylvester salone, mickey rourke,
uh, a couple other people weresupposed to be the bevel hills
(25:06):
cop, and they gave it to eddiemurphy because, again, he was a
big star.
He tried to.
You know, he gave a movie thathad no laughs, laughs.
This movie, best defense, hadno laughs and he gave it its
comedy.
The reason why best defense isconsidered a comedy is because
of eddie murphy, and that's whathappened with the movie.
(25:29):
This movie had to run, so sobeverly hills cop could fly and
I'll leave it at that.
If you haven't already, pleaselike, share and subscribe.
Tell an Eddie Murphy fan,telling a Murphy man hey, you
love this podcast and, with allhearts and minds clear, let's
end this show.
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