June 13, 2024 • 25 mins
Stories? Questions? Thoughts? TEXT us here!
What happens when your body sends you warnings that something is seriously wrong? Join us as we recount Liz's unexpected journey through debilitating health challenges, including severe migraines and a frightening ER visit. After numerous consultations and tests, Liz was diagnosed with Addison's disease, an autoimmune disorder affecting cortisol production. We discuss the emotional and physical hurdles faced during this time, the impact on her career, and the immense relief that comes with a definitive diagnosis and effective treatment. This episode is a raw and honest conversation about the importance of listening to your body and the twists and turns life can take.
We also tackle the often frustrating reality of getting medical professionals to take women's health concerns seriously. Sharing personal stories of perseverance and eventual validation, we highlight the importance of advocating for one's health and the benefits of functional medicine. Our discussion takes an intriguing turn with a surprise encounter with Alban from the Buzzcast podcast, which led us to explore Buzzsprout's new feature...TEXT US ABOVE☝️!!
Steph reflects on her memorable trip to California for a unique class, and we encourage listeners to embrace their multifaceted identities and step out of their comfort zones this summer! What are you excited about this summer? TEXT US ABOVE 👆!
Interested in starting your own podcast? We can't recommend our host Buzzsprout enough! Click here for an introductory offer from them!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Musician Centric Podcast.
We are two freelance violistsliving and laughing our way
through conversations thatexplore what it means to be a
professional musician in today'sworld.
I'm Steph.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Liz, and we're so glad you've joined us.
Let's dive in.
It feels good to be sittinghere.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Oh, I know, I was like how does this work?
Will my mic still work?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
You know how when you unplug something, it takes your
computer a minute to realizewhat I had to re-log in to all
of the things and remember,because, yeah, friends, it's
been a minute since we've donethis.
Yeah, we missed it we reallydid, so we're wrapping up this
season this way, right?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
yes, this is completely unplanned.
Update you.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yeah, nothing's nothing's planned at all off the
cuff, other than we had theopportunity to sit down and
actually do this, which issaying a lot actually.
Yeah, yeah.
So where do we even begin withthe last several weeks?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I mean, I guess I would say that we had every
intention of producing a fullseason with a full 12 guests and
all that.
And you know, sometimes lifegets in the way Sure does, and
you have to be flexible.
Yes, yeah.
Especially to accommodate yourfriends, and you know what life
(01:28):
throws at you.
You can't, yeah, you can'tpredict.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I think it's kind of wild to think about what was the
date of our release with Miriamoh gosh it was like mid April,
right?
Yeah, it was at the end of AprilWell the thing is we had plans
for other guests and then, asyou said and I really appreciate
you kind of teeing it up thatway, my friend sometimes
(01:54):
unexpected things happen and Iyeah, I just had no idea that I
was kind of headed for this sortof crash.
I don't think I've been reallytalking about some of the health
struggles I've been having.
I know we've talked a lot about, like, our personal lives in
various ways, but I had beenstruggling for a long time with
(02:15):
just declining energy levels,strength.
There were all sorts of thingsthat really are kind of becoming
even more apparent now, ofcourse.
But the long story short is thattowards the end of April I was
starting to feel really, really,really bad.
I've probably talked about mymigraines before, but I was
getting them like every day,every other day, and they were
(02:38):
getting worse and I will not gointo all the details of all of
the different avenues.
I was trying to get someanswers.
I was calling different doctorsand started seeing a functional
medicine doctor, which I dohave to say, because that is
what ended up getting me theanswers I needed.
Was paying out of the insurancesystem to get them, which is
(03:02):
another conversation, maybe aguest down the road, yeah, but I
landed in the emergency room atthe beginning of May and I it
took a lot For those of you outthere who are who consider
themselves to physically kind oftough through things I had to
have a real conversation withmyself to even take myself to
(03:25):
the ER because I just keptsaying in my head, no, no, no,
just go to bed, just go to bed,you'll be fine.
But it turns out that I verylikely would not have been fine
if I had just gone to bed.
So I went in and I hadalarmingly low levels of sodium,
which is the thing that wasmaking me feel worse and worse,
(03:47):
acutely.
But after that I really calledoff all my work.
I stopped working for close tothree weeks.
I actually subbed my studentsout for a couple weeks to one of
my former students who was homefrom college, which was really
great.
Thank you, Billy.
And I just I mean, it was likea no brainer I just had to focus
(04:08):
on figuring out what was wrongand getting better.
And I'm very happy and gratefuland relieved to say that I have
an official diagnosis.
I have something calledAddison's disease, which is an
autoimmune disorder, and forthose of you who don't know,
because it is as it turns out,it's quite rare.
Okay, sidebar, Can we talkabout this?
(04:31):
It's special, just like you.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Liz would never have a disease that anybody else has.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I gotta be the only one in the room.
I mean, come on.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
All right, all right.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So that's been really interesting because I have a
lot of questions.
I was very fortunate to have areally quick acting and
responsive and actually veryattentive endocrinologist who
got me the final testing and Itested positive for these
antibodies and then I startedmedication about two weeks ago.
(05:03):
Basically, my adrenal glandscannot make stress hormones
anymore, I can't make cortisol,and there may be other issues at
play as well.
But for now that's the mainthing we're treating and we all
hear of cortisol as the onlything we associate with it is
stress and our stress response.
But the thing is cortisol doesa lot in our bodies.
(05:25):
It's responsible for a lot offunctions, and all of those
functions within my body werejust starting to go.
And it's amazing, absolutelyamazing to me that within the
two weeks that I've been on thismedication, I feel so much more
like myself.
And it's just like such a.
(05:47):
You just don't plan for thesekinds of things.
You just don't.
And there are many questionsfor all of our friends out there
in the autoimmune world.
Last year, we had a greatconversation with Alice Ping,
and there are a lot of whys thatyou just can't answer.
(06:07):
Quite frankly, why would yourbody decide that this was the
way it needed to defend itself,ultimately, shutting down a
function that you need tosurvive?
But I'm very grateful to havean answer and a reason.
I was on a very dedicatedsearch for that for quite some
(06:27):
time, boy.
It's also really interestinghow we gaslight ourselves,
though, because you and I havetalked about this, haven't we?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
What I bring up next is women so often get dismissed
in the medical environment andyou think it's something that
you're making up in your head.
I think we've all been there.
You go to a doctor and you'relike I'm having this issue and
they're like, oh well, that'sjust this, it'll go away.
(06:56):
Like no, you don't understandthe way that I live my life and
I know when something's wrong.
And just the validation ofhaving some answers and the
realization that it was not allin your head.
And why do we have to search sohard for someone to believe us?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's such a good question and it's really
interesting because, yeah, in myown experience, the first time
I ever flagged with a troublingnumber was over a year ago.
It was over a year ago.
I've probably had this issuefor years, many years, and it
got exacerbated with the immenseamount of stress I was under
(07:38):
personally the last year and ahalf, so that's probably why it
slid so fast.
But it's like, yeah, by thetime I could get a diagnosis and
I've told you this too, it'sbeen.
So that's one of the more starkthings to see is just test
results come back and everythingis flagging.
You know, nothing is nothing'sresponding normally, and you're
like, well, I mean, on the onehand, it's good to have evidence
(08:00):
that explains a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
See.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Look, look, my body's literally falling apart.
Fix me, oh my gosh.
On the other hand, yeah, Ireally wish it didn't have to
take those kinds of drasticmeasures to get there.
And even just the advocating,the constant advocating.
I've had conversations withfriends in these last several
weeks who've talked with meabout their own experiences
(08:27):
where, from the time I was inthe ER until I was diagnosed, it
was several weeks.
Who knows what could havehappened in those weeks where I
wasn't getting treatment and Ineeded it and you just can't.
You know.
I mean I don't really focus onthat because all I can think
about now is how great I feel.
I mean like Stephanie knows Iwas saying to her yesterday,
(08:49):
like I'm enjoying eating food,I'm sleeping normally.
I didn't realize.
And just to back to yourgaslighting point, I just told
myself that it was a onespecific thing that was in my
head and was created by theemotional and mental load I was
carrying, and it had nothing todo with physical health, and
(09:11):
that my lack of appetite or allof this I just brushed it to the
side and just didn't thinkabout it and meanwhile they were
all warning signs and I've hadthem for a long time.
I cannot, I can't believe whenI think back, like everybody
asks me, the last time I feltthe way I was feeling now and
I'm like it's been years since Ifelt the way I feel at this
(09:33):
moment, which just goes to showthat you know, our bodies are
intricate things and there's alot happening in there.
If something's off, you know,don't ignore it.
Don't ignore it, it's not worthit.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I can say with certainty.
There is something scary too,though, about delving deeper.
I think one of the reasons whywe tell ourselves these stories
that it's nothing serious isthat the alternative is to
really dig into it and figure itout, and what might you find?
(10:09):
And I think that's what makes alot of people hesitant to go to
the doctor.
But really, you know the waythat you should be feeling.
Hopefully, you felt that oncein your life, and anything else
that you're feeling that's lessthan that is something that
requires you should kind of diginto a little bit Totally.
(10:30):
Totally.
It's easy to put it off, it'seasy to convince yourself it's
not that big of a deal, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, and it's funny because I would say I definitely
I don't even know that I couldsay I was putting anything off.
You know I was searching foranswers.
I just didn't know where theanswers were and I didn't have a
response from any medicalprofessional that there was a
sense of urgency behind what wasgoing on, until I met with a
(10:58):
functional health doctor andthat was like the most amazing
thing.
I just I really give a shoutout to the medical professionals
who are bravely trying thismodel out where they are going
outside of the insurance system.
They are MDs.
I worked with an MD.
She knows what.
She's medically trained, justlike everybody you see in your
(11:19):
primary care.
But they just know that inorder to get answers, sometimes
they have to search around andthe system is not designed for
that.
Get answers Sometimes they haveto search around and the system
is not designed for that.
So, like I said, it cost memoney.
I had to be well, I mean gosh.
Yeah.
It's just puts everything intoperspective in our lives,
(11:39):
because that week after the ER Ihad my busiest gig week for the
rest of the season and I had tocancel everything.
So I knew that there was a bankaccount depletion going to
happen.
All of us are familiar with howhorrible that feels having to
miss any gig, let alone the mostlucrative week of the rest of
your season.
And on top of that, I wasspending all this money trying
(12:00):
to figure out what was wrong andat the same time, frankly, it
just didn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
No, because if you don't have I mean it's trite,
but if you don't have yourhealth.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
What's going to happen?
Yeah, what's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
What good is any money that you're bringing in?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, so it's a big thing to work through and to
figure out.
I am really sorry that weweren't able to finish out our
season.
That was a real regret, and I'malso just I feel a little sad
for missing out on theopportunity to have the kind of
energy that I normally have forall of my creative projects,
(12:41):
including our podcast.
This was a hard year and I'vehad hard years before, but this
was particularly hard and I wantto say thank you to my work
wife here for sticking it outand stepping in in a lot of ways
while I was kind of in thisdecline for so long, and I'm
(13:03):
just really feeling hopeful andoptimistic for our future as a
podcast and for whatever's aheadfor both of us.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
We are all busy, especially those of us who teach
music.
We give everything to ensureour students' abilities and love
of music are always growing anddeveloping.
We want to make sure each onehas the right setup and
instrument, but we barely haveenough time to practice for
ourselves sometimes.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
That's where Potter Violins can come in.
Their sales team andtechnicians are also players and
experts on all string things.
You can send your students totry instruments, get properly
sized, have their currentinstruments adjusted or to pick
out a new bow or other stringaccessory.
You can have total confidencethat they'll be taken care of.
Potters will even ship whatyour students need anywhere in
(13:51):
the United States.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
So take one thing off your plate and send your
students over to Potter Violins,no matter what they need, and
Potter Violins loves teachers somuch they want to offer you a
10% teacher's discount becauseyou deserve it.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Visit their flagship location in Tacoma Park,
Maryland, their rental locationin Gaithersburg, Maryland, or
shop online from anywhere atpowderviolinscom.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
We have big plans this summer to like go to some
conventions and learn some newthings and get inspiration.
So if all goes as planned,season five will be coming at
you in the fall season five.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I know it's really cool and I feel it's like a good
number right.
It's like fresh start, it's ananniversary what, what year and
what?
Are you gonna look it up?
Should we do something?
I'm gonna look at that.
We should do something.
Yeah, isn't it like paper orsomething?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
no, that's like one year.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Okay good, oh, it's got to be better than paper.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Then is it copper it is wood, I think how appropriate
, as we're street players, Ithink wait, wait, gifts by year.
The knot's gonna.
The traditional one is wood,the modern one is silverware and
the gemstone is sapphire.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I'm really excited for that.
I also just just am like sothankful to the people who
listen.
I just think it's so great.
Oh my gosh, you guys, thank youfor sticking it out with us
Every once in a while we meetyou in the wild.
We're friend Molly Sharp and afriend of ours she said oh my
(15:35):
gosh, you know, what's so funnyis we've been spending all this
time together and gigs this andthat, and I never put two and
two together.
Until the other day I waslistening to an episode of your
podcast and I was like thatvoice sounds really familiar.
I was like, oh well, thanks forlistening, that's great.
You know, I'm still so proud ofthe conversations that we did
(15:59):
have this year.
It's so funny for me becauseit's like I was kind of in a fog
from my normal present self.
But when I think about it andwhen I listen back, I'm like man
did we talk to some really coolpeople with some really great
ideas and perspectives and it'sjust always been such a an
inspiring thing in my life sincewe started it.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Yeah, so don't worry we'll be back.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, maybe we'll post updates of stuff we're
doing over the summer, just forfun, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
And oh, there's a new feature you're going to see in
the description and it's calledtext us and you can literally
just learning about this I knowI'm sorry I didn't update you.
It's a new feature from ourpodcast hosting company,
buzzsprout.
Who's?
I mean?
I'll plug them.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Yes, yeah, you met.
Do you want to tell this storyreal quick?
I feel like, okay, I hope allof you who love us like are
bearing with this conversation.
We're just.
We are literally just.
This is how we normally are.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
So and then back to I got this that we get this
newsletter, email newsletterfrom our podcast host,
buzzsprout, and they always tellyou like what's new in the
podcasting world, what newfeatures they're introducing,
blah, blah, blah blah.
And this one announced thatthere was going to be a meetup
hosted by Buzzsprout in the DCarea, which is where we are.
(17:20):
And so I texted Liz and I waslike say you can go to this
thing with me.
We need to go because, numberone, it's our podcast host and
I'm like a fangirl for theirpodcast.
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You are a fangirl.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I'm a fangirl.
I just, I don't know, I nerdout about that stuff I love it
Anyway.
Number one, it was hosted bythem they're amazing.
And number two, they were goingto be giving out free passes to
the convention which is alsohappening here in DC in August,
which Liz and I are going toAnyway.
So we show up, it's a verycrowded room, it's very loud and
we're ordering drinks at thebar and I hear this voice behind
(17:59):
me and I turn around andinstantly I recognize Albin from
the Buzzcast.
Okay, this is deep cut foranybody who does not listen to
podcasting.
Podcast fans will know whatyou're talking about Anyway.
So I recognized this host byhis voice and confirmed that it
was him and we had thisconversation with him and he was
(18:22):
so cool.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
He was cool, he was really fun and it was exciting
and he was interested.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
He was very interested, he was really
interested in what we were doingand just super cool.
But anyway, that's a long wayto say that.
We have this new feature thatBuzzsprout has made available to
us, where you listener can textus using your phone any kind of
message.
We can't reply, but if you hearsomething that you're
(18:51):
interested in, if you have asuggestion, you just want to say
, hi, this is so and solistening from so and so If you
have ideas about future guests,you'd love us to feature
anything.
Literally just say hi, yeah, wewon't know it's anonymous
unless you write your name.
Oh yeah, like we don't even see, like who it is, or we can't
(19:12):
reply back or anything.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
What if we get a bunch of mean ones?
We?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
can sure shout you out on the next episode.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
I would really love it if we just got a bunch of
random highs and we didn't knowwho it was.
That would make me smile a lotactually.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Send us a lot of highs.
Anyway, that's just another waythat you can engage with us.
If you're on your phone andyou're already listening to this
, just send us a hi, throw us acrumb.
Throw us a crumb.
We appreciate you so much, wereally do and there's a lot
going on in our world, in ourclassical music world right now
(19:46):
that we're kind of wrestlingwith how to address.
So hopefully we're going tofind some inspiration on the
most productive way to get intothat subject material.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
So look forward to that Both, stephanie and I feel
it's very important that wedon't gloss over or ignore major
issues that particularlypertain to women and non-binary
musicians in our field.
So we're with you and we'regoing to try to figure out how
to best serve our community whenthose topics come up.
(20:18):
I think that's really good.
I'm glad you brought that up.
I was just thinking, okay,maybe this is a good place to
sort of wrap it up.
I was just thinking about aconversation we had when we were
discussing the Creative SuccessNow book in our book club with
our friend Eileen, and in thisparticular meeting we were
talking about the goal settingand it was like the wheel of
(20:39):
various things and you weresupposed to sort of assign okay,
family's really important,friends are really important
career, whatever it was, andhealth was one of them.
And at the time this wasprobably like three months ago,
like close to three months ago Iwas very confused by this
because I was like these are allimportant to me and I don't
know what to do, and Stephanie'slike well, I think it's
(20:59):
temporary, I think you just pickthe thing now and then you
reevaluate, and I was like, okay, well, then I have to easily
answer health, because this wasa problem for me at this point.
My goal was to get stronger,and I wanted to ask you how you
feel about yours.
Do you remember?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I can't remember what I chose.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
It was something along the lines of exploration
goals?
Yeah, exploration, yes.
So how do you feel like you'redoing?
Because this was before orright around the time you had
planned your trip to California,right?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yeah, so I have this goal this year of exploring
different options for my future,because I feel like I don't
know the need to do somethingdifferent and to explore my
other strengths.
So I decided to go toCalifornia to take this class,
(21:57):
to kind of pursue a possibleskill that I have, and it's like
you've never, I've never donethis thing before.
So cool so yeah so, and it'stotally not related to music.
There was not another musicianthere at all, and eventually I
will definitely be sharing aboutwhat I'm doing but it's too
early for that.
(22:18):
Yeah, it's early in the processnow, but let that be a teaser
to you.
But yeah, it's really been.
Perspective is something thatwe can all benefit from, and
sometimes it comes in the formof stepping away from what
you're really comfortable in andliterally going somewhere else
(22:41):
and being like, oh man, allthese people here are doing
something completely unrelated.
They have no idea who I am,what my issues are.
I can still exist in that world.
I don't know if that makes anysense, but perspective and
travel is a great way to do it.
Summertime is a great time todo it, because a lot of our
seasons are a little more quietduring this time, but I would
(23:04):
just encourage you to get someperspective.
Us freelancers get bogged downin the mire of the day-to-day,
the hustle, all of that thatcomes attached to what we do for
work about who we identify, asyou identify as a musician, but
(23:24):
you are so much more than that,and this is just my reminder to
make the most of your summer.
Step away and just recognizethat you are multifaceted.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yep.
Oh, perspective is the theme ofthe conversation here, isn't it
?
Yeah?
It really is, because whetherit's something that is forced
upon you or it's a choice thatyou make to take a chance and go
do something different and trysomething new and meet new
people.
It does it shifts.
It just shifts your world in away.
(23:59):
That's yeah, I imagine, for thebetter Certainly makes all
those little problems feel a lotlittler.
I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, it's totally sows seeds of creativity.
Experiencing new things is agreat way to get unstuck.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I couldn't agree more .
You know how addicted to travelI am.
I know.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well, all that being said, we've missed you.
We've missed you.
We're gonna say see you soonyeah, we'll stay in touch.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yes, yeah, and um, text us.
Yeah, text us.
Have a good summer.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.
If you loved this episode,consider writing us a five-star
review on apple podcasts, amazonmusic, spotify or wherever you
listen.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Thanks also to our season sponsor, Potter Violins.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
If you'd like to support the podcast and get
access to bonus content,consider joining our Patreon
community.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
You can buy all your musician-centric merch,
including shirts, water bottles,koozies and a variety of other
fun items.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Our theme music was written and produced by JP
Wogeman and is performed bySteph and myself.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Our episodes are produced by Liz O'Hara and
edited by Emily McMahon.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Thanks again for listening.
Let's talk soon.
Welcome to the Musician Centric Podcast.
We are two freelance violistsliving and laughing our way
through conversations thatexplore what it means to be a
professional musician in today'sworld.
I'm Steph.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Liz, and we're so glad you've joined us.
Let's dive in.
It feels good to be sittinghere.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Oh, I know, I was like how does this work?
Will my mic still work?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
You know how when you unplug something, it takes your
computer a minute to realizewhat I had to re-log in to all
of the things and remember,because, yeah, friends, it's
been a minute since we've donethis.
Yeah, we missed it we reallydid, so we're wrapping up this
season this way, right?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
yes, this is completely unplanned.
Update you.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yeah, nothing's nothing's planned at all off the
cuff, other than we had theopportunity to sit down and
actually do this, which issaying a lot actually.
Yeah, yeah.
So where do we even begin withthe last several weeks?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I mean, I guess I would say that we had every
intention of producing a fullseason with a full 12 guests and
all that.
And you know, sometimes lifegets in the way Sure does, and
you have to be flexible.
Yes, yeah.
Especially to accommodate yourfriends, and you know what life
(01:28):
throws at you.
You can't, yeah, you can'tpredict.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I think it's kind of wild to think about what was the
date of our release with Miriamoh gosh it was like mid April,
right?
Yeah, it was at the end of AprilWell the thing is we had plans
for other guests and then, asyou said and I really appreciate
you kind of teeing it up thatway, my friend sometimes
(01:54):
unexpected things happen and Iyeah, I just had no idea that I
was kind of headed for this sortof crash.
I don't think I've been reallytalking about some of the health
struggles I've been having.
I know we've talked a lot about, like, our personal lives in
various ways, but I had beenstruggling for a long time with
(02:15):
just declining energy levels,strength.
There were all sorts of thingsthat really are kind of becoming
even more apparent now, ofcourse.
But the long story short is thattowards the end of April I was
starting to feel really, really,really bad.
I've probably talked about mymigraines before, but I was
getting them like every day,every other day, and they were
(02:38):
getting worse and I will not gointo all the details of all of
the different avenues.
I was trying to get someanswers.
I was calling different doctorsand started seeing a functional
medicine doctor, which I dohave to say, because that is
what ended up getting me theanswers I needed.
Was paying out of the insurancesystem to get them, which is
(03:02):
another conversation, maybe aguest down the road, yeah, but I
landed in the emergency room atthe beginning of May and I it
took a lot For those of you outthere who are who consider
themselves to physically kind oftough through things I had to
have a real conversation withmyself to even take myself to
(03:25):
the ER because I just keptsaying in my head, no, no, no,
just go to bed, just go to bed,you'll be fine.
But it turns out that I verylikely would not have been fine
if I had just gone to bed.
So I went in and I hadalarmingly low levels of sodium,
which is the thing that wasmaking me feel worse and worse,
(03:47):
acutely.
But after that I really calledoff all my work.
I stopped working for close tothree weeks.
I actually subbed my studentsout for a couple weeks to one of
my former students who was homefrom college, which was really
great.
Thank you, Billy.
And I just I mean, it was likea no brainer I just had to focus
(04:08):
on figuring out what was wrongand getting better.
And I'm very happy and gratefuland relieved to say that I have
an official diagnosis.
I have something calledAddison's disease, which is an
autoimmune disorder, and forthose of you who don't know,
because it is as it turns out,it's quite rare.
Okay, sidebar, Can we talkabout this?
(04:31):
It's special, just like you.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Liz would never have a disease that anybody else has.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I gotta be the only one in the room.
I mean, come on.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
All right, all right.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So that's been really interesting because I have a
lot of questions.
I was very fortunate to have areally quick acting and
responsive and actually veryattentive endocrinologist who
got me the final testing and Itested positive for these
antibodies and then I startedmedication about two weeks ago.
(05:03):
Basically, my adrenal glandscannot make stress hormones
anymore, I can't make cortisol,and there may be other issues at
play as well.
But for now that's the mainthing we're treating and we all
hear of cortisol as the onlything we associate with it is
stress and our stress response.
But the thing is cortisol doesa lot in our bodies.
(05:25):
It's responsible for a lot offunctions, and all of those
functions within my body werejust starting to go.
And it's amazing, absolutelyamazing to me that within the
two weeks that I've been on thismedication, I feel so much more
like myself.
And it's just like such a.
(05:47):
You just don't plan for thesekinds of things.
You just don't.
And there are many questionsfor all of our friends out there
in the autoimmune world.
Last year, we had a greatconversation with Alice Ping,
and there are a lot of whys thatyou just can't answer.
(06:07):
Quite frankly, why would yourbody decide that this was the
way it needed to defend itself,ultimately, shutting down a
function that you need tosurvive?
But I'm very grateful to havean answer and a reason.
I was on a very dedicatedsearch for that for quite some
(06:27):
time, boy.
It's also really interestinghow we gaslight ourselves,
though, because you and I havetalked about this, haven't we?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
What I bring up next is women so often get dismissed
in the medical environment andyou think it's something that
you're making up in your head.
I think we've all been there.
You go to a doctor and you'relike I'm having this issue and
they're like, oh well, that'sjust this, it'll go away.
(06:56):
Like no, you don't understandthe way that I live my life and
I know when something's wrong.
And just the validation ofhaving some answers and the
realization that it was not allin your head.
And why do we have to search sohard for someone to believe us?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's such a good question and it's really
interesting because, yeah, in myown experience, the first time
I ever flagged with a troublingnumber was over a year ago.
It was over a year ago.
I've probably had this issuefor years, many years, and it
got exacerbated with the immenseamount of stress I was under
(07:38):
personally the last year and ahalf, so that's probably why it
slid so fast.
But it's like, yeah, by thetime I could get a diagnosis and
I've told you this too, it'sbeen.
So that's one of the more starkthings to see is just test
results come back and everythingis flagging.
You know, nothing is nothing'sresponding normally, and you're
like, well, I mean, on the onehand, it's good to have evidence
(08:00):
that explains a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
See.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Look, look, my body's literally falling apart.
Fix me, oh my gosh.
On the other hand, yeah, Ireally wish it didn't have to
take those kinds of drasticmeasures to get there.
And even just the advocating,the constant advocating.
I've had conversations withfriends in these last several
weeks who've talked with meabout their own experiences
(08:27):
where, from the time I was inthe ER until I was diagnosed, it
was several weeks.
Who knows what could havehappened in those weeks where I
wasn't getting treatment and Ineeded it and you just can't.
You know.
I mean I don't really focus onthat because all I can think
about now is how great I feel.
I mean like Stephanie knows Iwas saying to her yesterday,
(08:49):
like I'm enjoying eating food,I'm sleeping normally.
I didn't realize.
And just to back to yourgaslighting point, I just told
myself that it was a onespecific thing that was in my
head and was created by theemotional and mental load I was
carrying, and it had nothing todo with physical health, and
(09:11):
that my lack of appetite or allof this I just brushed it to the
side and just didn't thinkabout it and meanwhile they were
all warning signs and I've hadthem for a long time.
I cannot, I can't believe whenI think back, like everybody
asks me, the last time I feltthe way I was feeling now and
I'm like it's been years since Ifelt the way I feel at this
(09:33):
moment, which just goes to showthat you know, our bodies are
intricate things and there's alot happening in there.
If something's off, you know,don't ignore it.
Don't ignore it, it's not worthit.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I can say with certainty.
There is something scary too,though, about delving deeper.
I think one of the reasons whywe tell ourselves these stories
that it's nothing serious isthat the alternative is to
really dig into it and figure itout, and what might you find?
(10:09):
And I think that's what makes alot of people hesitant to go to
the doctor.
But really, you know the waythat you should be feeling.
Hopefully, you felt that oncein your life, and anything else
that you're feeling that's lessthan that is something that
requires you should kind of diginto a little bit Totally.
(10:30):
Totally.
It's easy to put it off, it'seasy to convince yourself it's
not that big of a deal, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, and it's funny because I would say I definitely
I don't even know that I couldsay I was putting anything off.
You know I was searching foranswers.
I just didn't know where theanswers were and I didn't have a
response from any medicalprofessional that there was a
sense of urgency behind what wasgoing on, until I met with a
(10:58):
functional health doctor andthat was like the most amazing
thing.
I just I really give a shoutout to the medical professionals
who are bravely trying thismodel out where they are going
outside of the insurance system.
They are MDs.
I worked with an MD.
She knows what.
She's medically trained, justlike everybody you see in your
(11:19):
primary care.
But they just know that inorder to get answers, sometimes
they have to search around andthe system is not designed for
that.
Get answers Sometimes they haveto search around and the system
is not designed for that.
So, like I said, it cost memoney.
I had to be well, I mean gosh.
Yeah.
It's just puts everything intoperspective in our lives,
(11:39):
because that week after the ER Ihad my busiest gig week for the
rest of the season and I had tocancel everything.
So I knew that there was a bankaccount depletion going to
happen.
All of us are familiar with howhorrible that feels having to
miss any gig, let alone the mostlucrative week of the rest of
your season.
And on top of that, I wasspending all this money trying
(12:00):
to figure out what was wrong andat the same time, frankly, it
just didn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
No, because if you don't have I mean it's trite,
but if you don't have yourhealth.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
What's going to happen?
Yeah, what's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
What good is any money that you're bringing in?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, so it's a big thing to work through and to
figure out.
I am really sorry that weweren't able to finish out our
season.
That was a real regret, and I'malso just I feel a little sad
for missing out on theopportunity to have the kind of
energy that I normally have forall of my creative projects,
(12:41):
including our podcast.
This was a hard year and I'vehad hard years before, but this
was particularly hard and I wantto say thank you to my work
wife here for sticking it outand stepping in in a lot of ways
while I was kind of in thisdecline for so long, and I'm
(13:03):
just really feeling hopeful andoptimistic for our future as a
podcast and for whatever's aheadfor both of us.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
We are all busy, especially those of us who teach
music.
We give everything to ensureour students' abilities and love
of music are always growing anddeveloping.
We want to make sure each onehas the right setup and
instrument, but we barely haveenough time to practice for
ourselves sometimes.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
That's where Potter Violins can come in.
Their sales team andtechnicians are also players and
experts on all string things.
You can send your students totry instruments, get properly
sized, have their currentinstruments adjusted or to pick
out a new bow or other stringaccessory.
You can have total confidencethat they'll be taken care of.
Potters will even ship whatyour students need anywhere in
(13:51):
the United States.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
So take one thing off your plate and send your
students over to Potter Violins,no matter what they need, and
Potter Violins loves teachers somuch they want to offer you a
10% teacher's discount becauseyou deserve it.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Visit their flagship location in Tacoma Park,
Maryland, their rental locationin Gaithersburg, Maryland, or
shop online from anywhere atpowderviolinscom.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
We have big plans this summer to like go to some
conventions and learn some newthings and get inspiration.
So if all goes as planned,season five will be coming at
you in the fall season five.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I know it's really cool and I feel it's like a good
number right.
It's like fresh start, it's ananniversary what, what year and
what?
Are you gonna look it up?
Should we do something?
I'm gonna look at that.
We should do something.
Yeah, isn't it like paper orsomething?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
no, that's like one year.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Okay good, oh, it's got to be better than paper.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Then is it copper it is wood, I think how appropriate
, as we're street players, Ithink wait, wait, gifts by year.
The knot's gonna.
The traditional one is wood,the modern one is silverware and
the gemstone is sapphire.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I'm really excited for that.
I also just just am like sothankful to the people who
listen.
I just think it's so great.
Oh my gosh, you guys, thank youfor sticking it out with us
Every once in a while we meetyou in the wild.
We're friend Molly Sharp and afriend of ours she said oh my
(15:35):
gosh, you know, what's so funnyis we've been spending all this
time together and gigs this andthat, and I never put two and
two together.
Until the other day I waslistening to an episode of your
podcast and I was like thatvoice sounds really familiar.
I was like, oh well, thanks forlistening, that's great.
You know, I'm still so proud ofthe conversations that we did
(15:59):
have this year.
It's so funny for me becauseit's like I was kind of in a fog
from my normal present self.
But when I think about it andwhen I listen back, I'm like man
did we talk to some really coolpeople with some really great
ideas and perspectives and it'sjust always been such a an
inspiring thing in my life sincewe started it.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Yeah, so don't worry we'll be back.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, maybe we'll post updates of stuff we're
doing over the summer, just forfun, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
And oh, there's a new feature you're going to see in
the description and it's calledtext us and you can literally
just learning about this I knowI'm sorry I didn't update you.
It's a new feature from ourpodcast hosting company,
buzzsprout.
Who's?
I mean?
I'll plug them.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Yes, yeah, you met.
Do you want to tell this storyreal quick?
I feel like, okay, I hope allof you who love us like are
bearing with this conversation.
We're just.
We are literally just.
This is how we normally are.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
So and then back to I got this that we get this
newsletter, email newsletterfrom our podcast host,
buzzsprout, and they always tellyou like what's new in the
podcasting world, what newfeatures they're introducing,
blah, blah, blah blah.
And this one announced thatthere was going to be a meetup
hosted by Buzzsprout in the DCarea, which is where we are.
(17:20):
And so I texted Liz and I waslike say you can go to this
thing with me.
We need to go because, numberone, it's our podcast host and
I'm like a fangirl for theirpodcast.
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You are a fangirl.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I'm a fangirl.
I just, I don't know, I nerdout about that stuff I love it
Anyway.
Number one, it was hosted bythem they're amazing.
And number two, they were goingto be giving out free passes to
the convention which is alsohappening here in DC in August,
which Liz and I are going toAnyway.
So we show up, it's a verycrowded room, it's very loud and
we're ordering drinks at thebar and I hear this voice behind
(17:59):
me and I turn around andinstantly I recognize Albin from
the Buzzcast.
Okay, this is deep cut foranybody who does not listen to
podcasting.
Podcast fans will know whatyou're talking about Anyway.
So I recognized this host byhis voice and confirmed that it
was him and we had thisconversation with him and he was
(18:22):
so cool.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
He was cool, he was really fun and it was exciting
and he was interested.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
He was very interested, he was really
interested in what we were doingand just super cool.
But anyway, that's a long wayto say that.
We have this new feature thatBuzzsprout has made available to
us, where you listener can textus using your phone any kind of
message.
We can't reply, but if you hearsomething that you're
(18:51):
interested in, if you have asuggestion, you just want to say
, hi, this is so and solistening from so and so If you
have ideas about future guests,you'd love us to feature
anything.
Literally just say hi, yeah, wewon't know it's anonymous
unless you write your name.
Oh yeah, like we don't even see, like who it is, or we can't
(19:12):
reply back or anything.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
What if we get a bunch of mean ones?
We?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
can sure shout you out on the next episode.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
I would really love it if we just got a bunch of
random highs and we didn't knowwho it was.
That would make me smile a lotactually.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Send us a lot of highs.
Anyway, that's just another waythat you can engage with us.
If you're on your phone andyou're already listening to this
, just send us a hi, throw us acrumb.
Throw us a crumb.
We appreciate you so much, wereally do and there's a lot
going on in our world, in ourclassical music world right now
(19:46):
that we're kind of wrestlingwith how to address.
So hopefully we're going tofind some inspiration on the
most productive way to get intothat subject material.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
So look forward to that Both, stephanie and I feel
it's very important that wedon't gloss over or ignore major
issues that particularlypertain to women and non-binary
musicians in our field.
So we're with you and we'regoing to try to figure out how
to best serve our community whenthose topics come up.
(20:18):
I think that's really good.
I'm glad you brought that up.
I was just thinking, okay,maybe this is a good place to
sort of wrap it up.
I was just thinking about aconversation we had when we were
discussing the Creative SuccessNow book in our book club with
our friend Eileen, and in thisparticular meeting we were
talking about the goal settingand it was like the wheel of
(20:39):
various things and you weresupposed to sort of assign okay,
family's really important,friends are really important
career, whatever it was, andhealth was one of them.
And at the time this wasprobably like three months ago,
like close to three months ago Iwas very confused by this
because I was like these are allimportant to me and I don't
know what to do, and Stephanie'slike well, I think it's
(20:59):
temporary, I think you just pickthe thing now and then you
reevaluate, and I was like, okay, well, then I have to easily
answer health, because this wasa problem for me at this point.
My goal was to get stronger,and I wanted to ask you how you
feel about yours.
Do you remember?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I can't remember what I chose.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
It was something along the lines of exploration
goals?
Yeah, exploration, yes.
So how do you feel like you'redoing?
Because this was before orright around the time you had
planned your trip to California,right?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Yeah, so I have this goal this year of exploring
different options for my future,because I feel like I don't
know the need to do somethingdifferent and to explore my
other strengths.
So I decided to go toCalifornia to take this class,
(21:57):
to kind of pursue a possibleskill that I have, and it's like
you've never, I've never donethis thing before.
So cool so yeah so, and it'stotally not related to music.
There was not another musicianthere at all, and eventually I
will definitely be sharing aboutwhat I'm doing but it's too
early for that.
(22:18):
Yeah, it's early in the processnow, but let that be a teaser
to you.
But yeah, it's really been.
Perspective is something thatwe can all benefit from, and
sometimes it comes in the formof stepping away from what
you're really comfortable in andliterally going somewhere else
(22:41):
and being like, oh man, allthese people here are doing
something completely unrelated.
They have no idea who I am,what my issues are.
I can still exist in that world.
I don't know if that makes anysense, but perspective and
travel is a great way to do it.
Summertime is a great time todo it, because a lot of our
seasons are a little more quietduring this time, but I would
(23:04):
just encourage you to get someperspective.
Us freelancers get bogged downin the mire of the day-to-day,
the hustle, all of that thatcomes attached to what we do for
work about who we identify, asyou identify as a musician, but
(23:24):
you are so much more than that,and this is just my reminder to
make the most of your summer.
Step away and just recognizethat you are multifaceted.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yep.
Oh, perspective is the theme ofthe conversation here, isn't it
?
Yeah?
It really is, because whetherit's something that is forced
upon you or it's a choice thatyou make to take a chance and go
do something different and trysomething new and meet new
people.
It does it shifts.
It just shifts your world in away.
(23:59):
That's yeah, I imagine, for thebetter Certainly makes all
those little problems feel a lotlittler.
I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, it's totally sows seeds of creativity.
Experiencing new things is agreat way to get unstuck.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I couldn't agree more .
You know how addicted to travelI am.
I know.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well, all that being said, we've missed you.
We've missed you.
We're gonna say see you soonyeah, we'll stay in touch.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yes, yeah, and um, text us.
Yeah, text us.
Have a good summer.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.
If you loved this episode,consider writing us a five-star
review on apple podcasts, amazonmusic, spotify or wherever you
listen.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Thanks also to our season sponsor, Potter Violins.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
If you'd like to support the podcast and get
access to bonus content,consider joining our Patreon
community.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
You can buy all your musician-centric merch,
including shirts, water bottles,koozies and a variety of other
fun items.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Our theme music was written and produced by JP
Wogeman and is performed bySteph and myself.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Our episodes are produced by Liz O'Hara and
edited by Emily McMahon.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Thanks again for listening.
Let's talk soon.
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