July 20, 2025 • 38 mins
The villainization of Black women in media isn't new, but the recent treatment of Love Island USA contestants Chelley and Olandria offers a powerful case study in how this harmful pattern continues today.
When major outlets like Time Magazine and Buzzfeed deliberately misrepresent situations to fit the "angry Black woman" narrative, we must call it what it is: racism. Time Magazine twisted Chelley's perfectly healthy communication (recognizing she was too emotional for a productive conversation) into "toxic interruption" – while later in the same article praising this exact behavior as healthy! The hypocrisy is stunning but unsurprising.
What's particularly heartbreaking is seeing how many people – including other Black women – fell into this carefully crafted trap. When we villainize Black women for expressing their feelings once, while granting endless chances to others who display problematic behavior repeatedly, we're perpetuating the same double standards that have harmed Black women for generations.
Reality TV isn't just entertainment; it's a reflection of our society's values. Production teams construct narratives with protagonists and antagonists, and Black women are too often forced into villain roles because it's the "easiest" stereotype to sell. One moment of justified frustration becomes "who they really are," while weeks of patience and grace are forgotten.
On the flip side, what makes couples like Nicolandria and Chellace so compelling is seeing Black women being loved loudly and proudly. When Nick and Ace openly adore Olandria and Chelley, they're countering the harmful narratives that too often define Black women's existence.
For those with platforms – we must be more careful about the narratives we amplify. Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it helpful? Could my words be twisted to harm others? Let's commit to recognizing these patterns and refusing to participate in them.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daijné (00:00):
Is this thing on?
Hello, hello.
Uh oh, another yapper with amic.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to the Napkin in between
podcast.
I am your host, Daijné Jones.
I hope everyone has been havinga good week, except for that
(00:21):
orange chick lady, of course.
I have been having a great week, except for that orange chick
lady, of course.
I have been having a great weekand I feel like I feel like I'm
going insane, a little bit like.
I feel like a little bit likean addict.
Actually, let's do a quick aameeting, okay, hello, my name is
Daijné and I am addicted toNicolandria.
(00:41):
Guys, it am, guys, it's bad.
It's bad.
This is the first time that Iever feel like I've been too
invested into people that Idon't know.
Like, I feel like I'm beingparasocial, but at the same time
, I know that I'm not beingparasocial, because if I were
being parasocial then I wouldn'tbe able to say, like this is
parasocial.
I feel like when people areparasocial, they don't realize
(01:02):
it and they say like and doweird things, and it's like,
that's weird.
You shouldn't do that.
Like I, I'm not really beingparasocial, I'm just like
keeping up with everything thatthey do.
Okay, maybe I am beingparasocial, see, I don't know.
But like I'm not like doinganything like weird, you know
what I mean like I'm just likereading all of their articles
and thank god Nick is ischronically online, as all of us
(01:26):
are because I feel like there'sa couple reasons I'm so locked
in and and seeing what they'redoing.
Number one I feel like we justwatched an entire season of nick
and alandria's interactions.
I say in coolest, because theywere fucking crumbs.
Like initially they weren'ttogether, they weren't coupled
up, they were just friendstrying to convince themselves,
(01:46):
not anybody else.
But then, once they gottogether, it was like production
was cutting their scenes and wewere only seeing a little bit
of them even still.
So, I feel like we've survivedoff of crumbs for the past month
and a half.
And now nick, who is verychronically online, he's just
like feeding us, like we've.
We've gone from surviving offof crumbs to getting like
thanksgiving meals.
You know, from surviving off ofcrumbs to getting like
thanksgiving meals, you knowwhat I mean.
(02:07):
And so I'm like, yes, I needall of it, like I need to, I
need to take it all in.
But I also feel like I'm sotuned in to nicolandria because,
like, I'm seeing a black womanfinally be loved.
Do you know what I mean?
And it's like I I relate toalandria so much, like I I think
she said in like one of herinterviews for the past five
(02:28):
years she's just been like inher masculine energy and just
like not really letting anybodyin, not letting down her walls,
being like very like hardexterior, but now she's able to
be like soft and more feminineand doesn't have to do anything
in nick's presence and he's likeopening water bottles, like she
doesn't have to do anything.
She said that she can turn herbrain off and that's what I want
for all women, but especiallyblack women, because we don't
(02:50):
get to do that a lot.
We really don't get to do thata lot.
And I thought that you know, Italked about them in my last
episode and I was like I'm justgonna do one podcast episode on
them and then like, move on, I'mstill at the restaurant, I'm
I'm like stuck here and Nick islike not, he's like holding us
hostage at this point he,because he's feeding us so well
(03:11):
and I'm seeing this woman justlike be able to be taken care of
and like I just I love to seeit and like I can't look away
and I'm like, fuck this, likeI've just never been this
invested in other people's lives, like ever.
I've never considered myself astan of anyone.
I've never, you know, kept upwith anyone as much as I'm
keeping up with Nicolandria, andI'm just like I really need to
(03:34):
touch grass, but like Nick'slike no, don't touch grass.
Like look, here's anotherupdate, here's here's what we're
doing, here's Elandria you knowwhat I'm saying.
So it's like and I just loveseeing a black woman be loved
and also, of course, keeping upwith Nick Alandria.
They've been my couple sinceday one.
I literally I went back becauseI, as I was watching Love Island
(03:54):
, I was doing reviews of everyepisode and so I was like when
did I?
When did I clock Nick andAlandria?
Like when did I say?
Like, oh, I, I like them.
You know what I mean.
And I mean and it was episodeone.
It was episode one I said in myfirst ever recap like, oh, I
want to see more of Nick andAlandria.
And now I'm getting what Iasked for.
(04:14):
I manifested this, I prayed fortimes like this.
You know what I mean.
I also love seeing Shelly andAce, because they just came back
to the internet after taking alittle break, which we'll get to
in a second.
That's what we're going to talkabout today.
But I just love seeing twoblack women like be loved on.
I love.
(04:35):
I love a man who's chalant Likefuck the non-chalant shit.
If you like me, let me know andlet me know loudly.
And that's what Nick andAlandria.
I'm sorry that's what nick andalandria, I'm sorry that's what
nick and ace are doing.
They're just loving their womenvery loudly and I love that.
I love that.
And especially after seeingalandria with taylor initially
and the way that she put herselfout there and it was like not
(04:57):
reciprocated at least from whatwe saw, I know like production
cut a lot of what he was doingand it makes her look like
delusional and like she'schasing him, which I just know
that she would absolutely neverdo.
That production was very weird.
This season again, we'll getinto that in a little bit.
But after seeing that and thennow seeing nick, just like first
(05:17):
of all we saw him all seasonyearning for her right and now
we're seeing him like treat herexactly how she should be
treated I just can't look away.
It's definitely it's been thepeak of my week of just seeing
these two black women be lovedon so fiercely and so loudly and
it's just.
It just makes me so happy,especially segwaying into what
(05:40):
we're going to talk about today,seeing all the hate that
they're receiving from people,from brands, because they spoke
about their feelings and werevalid and how they felt, and
seeing, like, their backlash andthe racism and the hate that
they faced.
I just hope that the love fromtheir friends, from their family
(06:01):
, from Nick, from Ace, fromtheir fans, from everyone, is
just truly overpowering that,because it has been insane to
see, especially with shelly likethere's literally brands, huge
corporations, sending this womanhate and it's like, are y'all
fucking cool?
Like first we had buzzfeed,they posted a carousel of photos
(06:23):
of like what I would feed theislanders and it was like, first
we had buzzfeed, they posted acarousel of photos of like what
I would feed the islanders andit was like, as we know with
love island, usually when theywake up, the girls go to do
their makeup and the guys are inthe kitchen making them
breakfast.
So they were saying, like whatthey would feed all of the girls
breakfast.
I think it was shelly, alandria, hudda, iris and amaya, and you
know, everyone was getting anormal breakfast, but for shelly
(06:46):
they put that they would feedher a knuckle sandwich.
Are y'all cool, like?
What the fuck is going on?
That is so insane to me whenyou like really think about it.
Like, why are we perpetuatingviolence against a black woman?
Hello, are we?
(07:08):
Are we being for real right now?
Be so fucking for real, likeand it the way the media wants
to villainize black women trulyneeds to be studied.
They go to so many lengths tovillainize black women and to
make black women these negativestereotypes.
(07:28):
Like, for example, timeMagazine.
Also, they posted a carouseltalking about common toxic
communication styles that we sawin season seven and one of the
things that they highlighted wastoxic interruptions and they
said, as the first example theysaid they said oh, remember when
, after the heart rate challenge, huda was trying to apologize
(07:48):
to shelly and shelly told hudato save it first and foremost.
That's not at all what the fuckhappened.
Shelly didn't tell huda to saveit at all.
What they?
They got that from whenalandria was being dumped from
casa and zach was like, oh, canI talk to you?
And alandria said save yourwords.
So, first and foremost, mixingup the only two black women on
(08:10):
the show, dark-skinned blackwomen.
Let's be serious.
Like, first of all, they looknothing alike.
Yeah, they're both dolls, butalandria is a barbie and shelly
is a brat.
Like, let's be serious, let'sbe serious, so that's, that's
number one.
Just mixing up the two, twoblack women on the show is
(08:31):
fucking crazy.
Second of all, that's not evenwhat shelly said.
So they were called out.
For you know, like shelly neversaid save it to hudda, so they
changed it and they said thatshelly had said they still said
that it was a toxic interruptionand said that shelly cut Huda
off mid-sentence as she wastrying to apologize and said no,
no, no, we'll talk tomorrowAgain, that's not what the fuck
(08:54):
happened.
What happened is after the heartrate challenge, when Huda did
whatever she did we didn't seeit because of course, production
cut it Huda pulled Shelly andsaid you know, can we have a
chat?
At first, shelly said sure,let's have a chat.
They're starting to walk to theday beds to have a chat.
Neither one of them is speaking.
And then shelly turns and saysactually, you know what I'm
(09:16):
aggravated, I'm irritated, Idon't want to say anything out
of emotion.
So let's just talk tomorrow.
Hudda says, okay, love you.
Shelly says love you too.
They go their separate ways.
Is that not healthycommunication?
Is it not healthy communicationto to check your own emotions
and be like listen, you knowwhat I'm feeling, a type of way,
(09:37):
and I don't want to sayanything that I don't
necessarily mean, so let's justcome back at another time.
Is that not healthycommunication?
Mind you, I didn't read thefull article from time magazine
because once I saw that I wasjust like not interested.
But someone had commented andsaid that in their article.
(09:58):
They then go on to to talk abouthealthy forms of communication,
and one of them is recognizingwhen you're too upset to have a
conversation and lettingyourself cool off before having
a conversation.
So the very thing that shellydid that they're trying to
(10:18):
villainize her for and say thatthis is a toxic communication
pattern.
They then turned around andused that example as a healthy
communication pattern, but intheir, in their carousel on
instagram, they twist it in away to try to make it look like
(10:48):
shelly did everything right inthat situation.
She checked herself, checkedher emotions and was like you
know what?
Yeah, I'm not ready for thisconversation.
But instead of highlighting thatinstead of using that as a way
to say like, oh, this is healthycommunication, which you said
later on in the article, youtwist it because that better
fits the mean girl, bully, angryblack woman narrative that's
(11:09):
already been spiraling for weeks.
Mind you, they just posted thistime magazine posted this just
this week when the whole thingbetween hudda and shelly weeks
ago shows, rap shows overproductions closed but y'all are
still trying to make shellythis crazy, angry villain.
Like the way the media willtake a situation where a black
(11:32):
woman did exactly what she wassupposed to do and exhibited
positive, healthy communicationand they'll twist it to further
push out these crazy negativestereotypes against black women
is fucking crazy.
Like that is insane to me.
And it's like this is supposedto be just a fun little show, a
fun little show that we watch ofpeople trying to explore
(11:52):
connections, maybe some dramahere and there.
But it's like they try to runthis reality tv show as like a
movie, like a fiction movie.
You know what I mean and youknow the there's parts of a
fiction movie.
There's a protagonist andantagonist, like all that stuff.
So they're trying to instead ofjust letting people go, and I
promise if they just let peopleit's reality tv, right, it's
(12:17):
strangers who don't really knoweach other that well, there's,
there's gonna be drama.
But they try to force drama.
And they try to force this likevillain to fit the parts of a
story.
Because I feel like a lot ofpeople when I've learned this a
lot at this past watching loveisland they don't.
They can't separate realityfrom fiction or like when
(12:39):
something actually happensversus when it was like cut and
manipulated and twisted to fit acertain storyline.
Do you know what I mean?
And so production, they'retrying to to build this
storyline and all thesecharacters from these real
people who are gonna come outand experience like backlash or
whatever, from the things thatthey're carefully crafting.
(13:01):
But because they feel like theyneed to fit every part of a
storyline, they're like oh, weneed a protagonist, we need an
antagonist, and instead of justallowing things to flow
naturally and to show us exactlywhat happened in the way that
it happened, they twist it.
And the easiest person to makethe villain is a black woman,
because black women are alreadythe least protected.
(13:23):
Black women's feelings arealways invalidated.
Black women, you know, arealways held to a different
standard that other people areheld to, and so it's easy to
make a black woman a villain.
All you have to do is twist ita little bit and people brands
whoever will run rampant with it.
It's the easiest thing in theworld and it makes me so upset
(13:44):
that so many people fell for it.
First of all, trump's America,right?
So I'm not like I'm notsurprised that so many people
fell for it, I guess.
But what's really beendisappointing is to see how many
black people fell for it, tosee how many black people were
villainizing Shelly, calling heran Alandria bully, calling them
mean girls I've seen people saythat Shelly is a her and
Alandria bullies, calling themmean girls.
(14:04):
I've seen people say thatShelly is a narcissist, like
just the craziest fucking shit.
And it just.
It really is disappointingbecause, especially with the,
the other black women that Ihave seen villainize Shelly and
make her out to be this terribleperson.
Because, like they're talkingabout you too right, you know
(14:26):
what I mean.
Like sure, they're using Shellyas the example for this mean
girl, bully, angry black womanstereotype that they're pushing,
but they feel that same wayabout you.
If you were in that situationand you responded how Shelly did
which was completely valid ofrealizing, hey, I'm not in a
good position to have thisconversation and then, like,
(14:47):
express your feelings.
They would say the same thingabout you.
They would say that you're abully.
They would say that you're mean.
They would.
They would villainize you justas much as they're villainizing
shelly, and it's it.
It makes me so upset because Ifeel like people are still, to
this day, purposely missingshelly's point.
People are still like, oh well,why wasn't she mad at Ace?
(15:10):
Why didn't she say anything toAce?
Because it was about thefriendship.
It was about Huda and Shelly'sfriendship and the standards
that Huda had set when she waswith Jeremiah.
But she didn't turn around andhave that same respect for
Shelly.
Now that it was Shelly and Acewho had that strong connection
which I think we saw, maybe why,and it was made more sense of
(15:31):
in Huda's Call Her Daddyinterview um, I didn't watch the
interview because I'm leastinterested.
I'm as little interested inwhat Huda has to say as I am
into what JLo's music.
You know what I mean.
So I didn't watch the interviewbut I've seen clips here and
there and I guess Huda said thatat one point she, you know she
found Ace attractive and youknow, she someone that he was,
(15:54):
someone that she liked, and thatmakes the heart rate challenge
even fucking worse, because Iwas already side-eyeing the
whole.
Oh, I'm bringing Chris back toexplore you, but also I'm going
to explore him too.
I said in one of my recap videos, when the episodes were coming
out, I was like, did she do thatto kind of try and turn
shelly's head because she wasinterested in ace?
(16:14):
And then I was like, or am Ibeing like crazy?
I, I just.
This is why I always trust mygut.
I swear it's never failed me.
I've never.
I don't, I won't say never, butmost of the time, no, actually
maybe I should say never because, like I feel like I, my gut has
never failed me, my intuition,that spirit of discernment, like
(16:36):
I just I peep shit.
And I was vindicated Becauselike, yeah, like, and that's the
crazy thing too is like, whywould Huda choose Ace for that
Of all these men sitting here?
You said that at one point youwere interested in pepe.
Brian was not single, he waswith andreina at the time, but
(16:56):
like I feel like he that was.
I think that was when they werestarting to pull away from each
other and not really be asinterested in one another.
Or even chris chris was theretoo, so you could have done that
to crit, like, why would you dothat to ace?
I just don't it.
It just never made sense to me.
But after watching that I'mlike, okay, the pieces are, the
(17:17):
pieces of the puzzle are finallyfitting together.
I'm, I'm seeing it.
I'm seeing, I'm seeing it.
I'm seeing your, yourmanipulative shit.
I'm seeing it.
It's making more sense.
And then you have people whowill say, oh, that, but that was
just a challenge.
It was a heart rate challenge,like she was supposed to do her
big ones.
But then we'll turn around andsay that alandria is a mean girl
(17:37):
and messy because during thestand on business challenge she
shared about the kiss betweenchris and hudda and the
speakeasy, and it's like, wasthat not just a challenge?
Was it not the challenge to airyour grievances and like, get
everything out of there?
You see what I'm saying.
So it's like this is what I meanwhen I say that black women are
held to a different standardand they're held to rules and
(18:00):
regulations that other peopleare not held to, because for one
, it's just a challenge and thatwas the point of the challenge.
But for the other, she's a meangirl, bully and she shouldn't
have done that.
But for the other, she's a meangirl, bully and she shouldn't
have done that.
You see what I'm saying andthat's why I feel like it's so
disappointing, because I knowthat, especially as a dark
(18:21):
skinned, black woman, I knowthat there have been times where
your feelings were invalidated,where people jumped to
conclusions, where people ranwith shit, and now you're doing
it to Shelly.
And also I feel like we'reforgetting that words mean
things.
Right, like people are like ohmy God, shelly is this bully and
Alandria is a bully.
They're mean girls, they'rebullies.
Do we know what the word bullymeans?
A bully is someone who doessomething reoccurringly over
(18:46):
time antagonizing, intimidatingsomebody else.
Right, shelly and Alandria hadone grievance with Huda, one
grievance at in one time, andthey spoke their minds about it
in a very calm way.
They weren't trying toantagonize her, they literally
were just expressing theirfeelings and they were
immediately labeled bullies.
(19:07):
Y'all don't know what wordsmean.
Y'all don't know what wordsmean, because if we're gonna
label anybody a bully on thisseason, I fear it's hudda.
She multiple times calledbombshells, bitches, called them
all out of their names, saidthat they weren't girls, girls.
She publicly went after iris,after jeremiah picked, picked
(19:30):
iris in the door challenge, likethe only bully was huda.
But of course it was easy tomake shelly and alandria the
bullies because they knew thatall they had to do was do one
little thing, tweak one littlesituation and people were gonna
run with it.
And it's crazy and like.
That's why I get so upsetseeing so many black people
(19:53):
villainize shelly and alandriamainly shelly because it's like
y'all know, y'all, y'all know, Iknow that especially some of
the people that I've seen whohave called shelly and alandria
mean girls, know, you know thatyou, your feelings, have been
invalidated, you know thatlabels and stereotypes have been
(20:15):
pushed onto you that aren'ttrue and so for you to turn
around and do that to them afterone situation, I it's like I
know that this is just supposedto be a cute little reality TV
show, but it's, it's just areflection of actual reality.
It is a reflection of realityand it and it really bothers me
(20:36):
when people are like, oh, it hasnothing to do with race, like
people were calling shelly andelandria mean girls because they
were mean.
It didn't have anything to dowith race.
This is love island, usa, usa,the united states of america,
the country that was built offthe black backs of black people,
the country that every singlething racism is embedded into it
(20:56):
, because it is woven into oursociety.
You're gonna tell me in thatcountry that this has nothing to
do with race.
Be so for real.
Be so for real.
I know in.
I know you're smarter than that.
I know that people who aresaying that are smarter than
that.
Because here's the thingUnpopular opinion maybe.
(21:19):
I don't know if this iscontroversial to say Maybe it is
.
This is how I feel.
I'm open to you.
Know, if somebody disagreeswith me and wants to explain it
to me in another way, please do.
Somebody disagrees with me andwants to explain it to me in
another way, please do.
But I feel like racists arealways looking for a reason to
be racist, whether that's outloud, whether that's quietly.
They're they're always lookingfor, they're just waiting for a
(21:42):
reason.
You know what I mean.
And seeing so many black peoplecome out and villainize Shelly
and make her this mean girlbully, I'm not blaming black
people for racism.
I would never blame blackpeople for racism, because black
racism was started by whitepeople and you know those are
the main perpetuators of racism.
(22:02):
However, I do think that thereare times that black people can
aid in the perpetuation ofracism, whether that be against
other minorities and communities, whether that be against
ourselves.
I feel like there are times whenblack people help to uplift
racism and I feel like when somany black people were speaking
(22:23):
out against Shelly, the lightwas already green for the
negative stereotypes againstShelly.
Right, like, racists willalways figure out a way to be
racist.
They already have that greenlight.
But I think, with so many blackpeople coming out and also
saying like, yeah, shelly's abully, shelly's a mean girl,
whatever, it made that light alittle bit greener.
You know what I mean.
Like, racists are alwayslooking for an excuse to be
(22:45):
racist, and seeing so many blackpeople villainize shelly, I
feel like it.
It helped a little bit.
I'm I really do.
I feel like it and I'm notsaying that you have to fully
agree with shelly or how shehandled it.
I feel like if we're giving oneperson grace, we got to give
every person grace.
You know what I mean, and Ifeel like that was the one time
(23:08):
that shelly had an issue and itwas immediately no grace.
This is who she is.
She's a mean girl.
You know what I mean.
Same thing with alandria.
Like she was so patient when itcame to taylor, even though he
played in her fucking face badas fuck.
But the one time she crashedout and I'm not, she didn't even
crash out, her feelings werefucking valid.
(23:29):
He played in her face and sheshe clocked it right.
But the one time she finallylet taylor have it, cussed him
out a little bit.
People are like oh, finallywe're seeing the real alandria.
This is who she actually is andit's like we've seen her be
poised and gracious and classyall season, but the one time we
see her finally get angry,that's who she really is.
(23:53):
That's who Alandria really is.
Y'all are never beating theallegations.
You see her be angry one timeand that's who she really is.
Be so fucking serious, andthat's what I mean.
People are always waiting for away and an excuse and a reason
(24:14):
to push these negativestereotypes onto black women and
the amount of black people,especially black women, who came
out and villainized Shelly andElandria.
It made that light a little bitgreener, and I'm not saying
that you had to fully agree withthe way Shelly and Elandria
handled the situation.
(24:35):
Maybe you feel like they shouldhave went about it a different
way.
You're entitled to that opinionbut like, let's give them a
little bit of grace.
You know what I mean and I'vehad conversations with people
and like, trying to say thatlike we're giving everyone else
grace, why not give these twopeople grace too?
And it's just like people werejust not listening, not having
it, didn't want, likeimmediately went to villainizing
(24:58):
them.
And that's just so fuckingweird to me, because it's the
same people who are saying givehud a grace.
It's the same people who don'twant to give shelly and elandria
grace.
And it's weird.
It's weird.
And we, I know why.
It's just racism, it's racism.
And then there's some peoplelike, oh, it's not racism.
Yes, the fuck it is.
Because why are we giving onewoman chance after chance after
(25:20):
chance to give her redemptionarc and to show that she's grown
, but when it's shelly andalandria, y'all immediately want
to write them off.
You will not jail a levelgaslight me.
It is fucking racism, I don'tgive a fuck.
And again, the media is alwayslooking for a villain.
They're always looking forsomeone who they can paint in a
(25:43):
negative light, because that is,in some ways, what gets the
views right the drama, thevillain, villain, the whatever.
And it's so easy to make blackwomen the villain because we're
already not given any grace.
So, yeah, to see so many blackpeople, especially black women,
come out and immediatelyvillainize shelly and alandria
(26:04):
and immediately call them meangirls, bullies and whatever, you
, you made that light a littlebit greener, and you might not
want to admit to it, but at thethe end of the day, like you did
, I just think maybe we shouldbe a little bit more cautious of
the things that we're saying,especially when we have
platforms.
And myself too, there's beenthings in the past that I've
(26:24):
done where I was like I feltlike it was good in the moment,
I felt like I was doingsomething that was helpful, but
then, looking back on it, I'mlike it was good in the moment.
I felt like I was doingsomething that was helpful, but
then, looking back on it, I'mlike maybe that was more hurtful
than helpful.
You know what I mean.
Like there was this thing whenI was in like elementary school.
One of my teachers had thisthing on the wall and it was
like, before you speak.
I can't remember all of thethings, but the top two was like
(26:47):
is it true and is it helpful?
I feel like when you have aplatform, you have to really
really take those things intoconsideration Because, number
one, people lack media literacy.
And number two, when you'reposting online, you might want
your post to go to a certaindemographic, but it's going to
go wherever it takes it.
(27:09):
You know what I mean.
Like there are so manydifferent types of people online
people who have media literacy,people who don't, people who
you know have different beliefsand thoughts and ideologies than
you.
So you could, you can saysomething and you can mean it
one way, but you have tounderstand and remember that
someone could take that thingthat you're saying and the way
(27:30):
that they interpret it could becompletely different from the
way that you meant it or the waythat you wanted it to be
interpreted.
You know what I mean.
So when you're posting, youknow your think pieces or
whatever about shows or peopleor whatever.
I think we just all need to be alittle bit more cautious and
and think a little bit moreabout what's the overall thing
(27:51):
that if I post this saying couldit cause harm?
Could it be taken in a way thatI don't necessarily mean it to
be taken, could it aid in, youknow, the perpetuation of racism
or misogynoir or you knowwhatever.
And that's that's anotherreason why I try not to engage
in the diaspora wars when itcomes to, like, the different
(28:12):
black diasporas, because, like,at the end of the day, I'm
shooting myself in the foot byparticipating in this diaspora
war, because infighting amongstblack people was created by
white people and white supremacyto uphold white supremacy, to
keep us fighting each otherrather than fighting the actual
oppressor.
So, at the end of the day, it'slike, whenever I feel like
(28:34):
personally, whenever peopleparticipate in diaspora wars,
it's like you're cutting offyour nose to spite your face.
You're shooting yourself in thefoot because you're literally
just harming yourself more.
You're not really helping inthe grand scheme of things, like
it might make you feel betterat the moment, but in the long
run, you're hurting yourself andyou're hurting others who look
(28:58):
like you, like they're gonnalook at both of us, no matter
what black diaspora you're in,they're gonna look at both of us
and call us the hardy are.
So it's like what are we?
What are we fighting for?
You know what I mean, and so Ijust want people to be just a
little bit more cautious and I'mnot, and unfortunately,
everyone's entitled to their ownopinion but I just think that
(29:18):
we just need to be a little morecautious of our opinions and if
it's genuinely helpful Because,again, sometimes when you share
that opinion, like you'rehurting yourself too and you
might not realize it in themoment, but you're hurting
yourself too, especially withthings that push negative
stereotypes against black women,like they think that about you
as well, the same thing thatyou're saying about this other
(29:41):
black woman.
Like they, they also think thatabout you.
So I just think that we justhave to remember how big the
internet is and everyone on theinternet has different thought
processes, ideologies, beliefs,and so they're gonna take it the
way that they want to andthey're gonna take it and
fucking run with it, and we'veseen that, especially with
Shelly, like I.
(30:02):
It literally makes me sick to mystomach that people not people,
brands are villainizing thiswoman, are coming after this
woman, are twisting her words tofit a narrative that literally
like she did nothing wrong inthat situation.
Literally like she did nothingwrong in that situation.
Time magazine.
I hope she sues honestly likethat's not what happened.
(30:23):
They purposely twisted it totry to make it look like she did
something wrong and then lateron said like oh, this is a form
of healthy communication and itwas literally exactly what
shelly did.
It makes me sick and I hopethat for shelly and elandria,
like, the love outweighs all ofthe the negative that they're
seeing.
It makes me sick.
I saw, of course, I was readingan interview that Nick and
(30:43):
Alandria did, and Alandria wastalking about how she saw that
George Floyd photo of someonewho had photoshopped her face
onto George Floyd and thenHuda's face onto Derek Chauvin,
like when Derek Chauvin's kneewas on George Floyd's neck.
I hate that she saw that.
I hate that she saw that and Ijust thank God for Nick because
(31:06):
she said that he, if she getstoo in her head about comments
and stuff, he'll literally takeher phone from her and like I
love that.
I love that he is stepping inand not allowing her to get in
her head and taking all thathate, because it's like they so
don't deserve it.
This, this, the Shelly andAlandria hate, is actually so
fucking forced.
It's so forced and I just hopethat the love that they're
(31:28):
seeing from their friends, theirfamily, nick Ace, their fans,
whoever.
I just hope that that is trulyoutweighing any and all of the
hate that they they'reexperiencing or might see and
again.
In regards to the hate, I justhope that you know, as we run up
to today's episode, I just wantus to all like process thoughts
a little bit more, like let'sjust think a little bit more
(31:48):
about what we're putting out andhow it could be twisted and
perceived and and perpetuatehate against people and racism,
because it's like, yeah, maybeyou didn't fully understand, or
like the way that shelly andelandria went about some of the
things that they did in thevilla, but you have to remember,
number one highly edited show,so we're not really
(32:10):
understanding the full grasp oftheir emotions.
Number two they don't get tosleep a lot.
They're filming all the time.
They have no connections to theoutside world, their families,
their friends, the people whotruly know them to process
things that are going on.
So of course, everyone'semotions are going to be
heightened.
So let's just give them alittle bit of grace, let's allow
them, the same way, we'retrying to allow other people to
(32:31):
make mistakes, which truly blowsmy mind, because some of the
mistakes that huda made.
It's like maybe that's not justa mistake, that might just be
your character being as thoughthese things are recurring.
And number two, some of themistakes that she made mistakes
I say in quotes shouldn't begiven grace for the fact that
she tried to coerce chris intohaving sex with her, and no one
(32:56):
is really taking that seriously,no one's really talking about
it, no one is holding heraccountable for that is really
fucking weird to me.
It's really crazy.
And to see people still be like, oh, she deserves, you know
this or that she deserves great.
She sexually harassed him likethat is sexual harassment.
That man went into sleep andshe's broken and prodding him,
trying to convince him to havesex with her that is sexual
(33:18):
harassment.
What?
What are we talking about?
But y'all will see that andstill want to give her grace and
let her learn from her mistakes.
But shelly and alandria madeone mistake I say in quotes
because I don't think that theydid anything wrong.
But if y'all, like everyone,has different interpretations,
so if you want to say that theymade a mistake, okay, but y'all
(33:39):
won't give them any grace forthat, y'all won't let them learn
and grow the same way thatyou're trying to let this woman
who sexually harassed a man, whowas verbally abusive to
multiple people, you want togive her grace.
We live in a weird time, man.
We live in weird fucking timesand it's it's getting spooky out
(34:00):
here.
It's, it's real spooky.
But I just think we all need tobe a little bit more cautious
of the media and how they liketo portray black women and I
feel like it was a carefullycrafted trap and people that I
would not ever in a millionyears expect to fall into it.
I'm seeing fall into it and I'mjust like it's really crazy.
(34:26):
It's really weird and I'm justlike this is spooky.
I just don't know what's goingon, but I just hope that, moving
forward, let's just all think alittle bit more about the
things that we're putting outthere and the way that the media
and people will twist them tofurther push negative
stereotypes onto black women.
So that's just what I hope wewill all do moving forward,
(34:49):
especially people like it'smaking me second guess if some
of y'all really deserveplatforms like do y'all really
deserve to have people listen toyou?
I don't know, because it's likewhen you have a platform like
it, you have to be so careful,and I'm I'm learning this myself
too, so I'm not like justsaying this for other people,
this is for me as well.
When you have a platform, youdon't know, like yeah, you might
(35:10):
have your core audience whosees your things and who
understands and can add nuanceand different things like that.
But the shit that you say has,especially on tiktok has the
potential to go viral to so manypeople and they're going to
take what you say either at facevalue and not add any nuance to
it, or they're going tointerpret it in a way that best
(35:30):
fits their beliefs andideologies and thoughts and
feelings.
So it's like we just have to beso cautious and so careful of,
like, genuinely, what we'resaying and what we're putting
out there, because we have noidea who's going to take that
thing and twist it.
It could be people, it could bebrands like you just don't know
.
So I just think that we allshould just be a little bit more
(35:51):
careful and cautious and let'sjust have the same rules apply
to everyone.
If we're going to give oneperson grace, we need to be
given every person grace, andthat's just.
That's just how it should be,and the fact that it's not that
way is absolutely rooted inracism, and racists are always
looking for that green light.
They already have that greenlight, but they're looking for
ways that they can make thatlight a little greener.
(36:11):
So I just think that we shouldall just be a little cautious
and a little bit careful aboutthe things that we're saying,
because, number one, it fitsinto a stereotype that is pushed
on to black women, which verymuch includes the black women
who are doing these things thatpush these negative stereotypes.
So let's just all be a littlebit more careful.
That's, that's the moral of thestory.
(36:31):
Thank you guys, so much forwatching today's episode.
I hope everyone is having agood day, except for that orange
lady.
I hope shelly and alandria areexperiencing way more love than
any of the hate.
Um, nick, continue to takealandria's phone if you need to
ace.
He already said he let us knowearly.
I'll crash out about shelly.
So and honestly, like I'mscared of ace and nick because I
(36:54):
know both of them, like wehaven't really seen either one
of them angry or raise theirvoice or anything, but I know
that if they get to that point,sheesh, I'm scared.
So y'all, y'all, y'all chillbecause Ace and Shelly I'm sorry
Ace and Nick do not play aboutShelly and Alandria Don't play,
and I love that for them.
I love seeing the love thatAlandria and Shelly are getting
(37:17):
and I just hope that it fullyoutweighs the hate.
I love that for them.
I love seeing black girls beloved and that's why I'm
justifying my parasocialness tothem right now, because I'm not
being parasocial, I'm justloving seeing a black woman be
loved.
So that's my final thoughts andno further questions at this
time.
Thank you so much for watchingtoday's episode.
I hope us at this time.
(37:42):
Thank you so much for watchingtoday's episode.
I hope everyone is having agood day except for that orange
lady, and I will talk to you inthe next episode.
Peace and love.
Talk to you later.
The napkin in between, hostedby Daijné Jones, produced by
Daijné Jones, post-production byDaijné Jones, music by Sam
Champagne and graphics by IsmaVital.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe.
See you next episode.
Is this thing on?
Hello, hello.
Uh oh, another yapper with amic.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to the Napkin in between
podcast.
I am your host, Daijné Jones.
I hope everyone has been havinga good week, except for that
(00:21):
orange chick lady, of course.
I have been having a great week, except for that orange chick
lady, of course.
I have been having a great weekand I feel like I feel like I'm
going insane, a little bit like.
I feel like a little bit likean addict.
Actually, let's do a quick aameeting, okay, hello, my name is
Daijné and I am addicted toNicolandria.
(00:41):
Guys, it am, guys, it's bad.
It's bad.
This is the first time that Iever feel like I've been too
invested into people that Idon't know.
Like, I feel like I'm beingparasocial, but at the same time
, I know that I'm not beingparasocial, because if I were
being parasocial then I wouldn'tbe able to say, like this is
parasocial.
I feel like when people areparasocial, they don't realize
(01:02):
it and they say like and doweird things, and it's like,
that's weird.
You shouldn't do that.
Like I, I'm not really beingparasocial, I'm just like
keeping up with everything thatthey do.
Okay, maybe I am beingparasocial, see, I don't know.
But like I'm not like doinganything like weird, you know
what I mean like I'm just likereading all of their articles
and thank god Nick is ischronically online, as all of us
(01:26):
are because I feel like there'sa couple reasons I'm so locked
in and and seeing what they'redoing.
Number one I feel like we justwatched an entire season of nick
and alandria's interactions.
I say in coolest, because theywere fucking crumbs.
Like initially they weren'ttogether, they weren't coupled
up, they were just friendstrying to convince themselves,
(01:46):
not anybody else.
But then, once they gottogether, it was like production
was cutting their scenes and wewere only seeing a little bit
of them even still.
So, I feel like we've survivedoff of crumbs for the past month
and a half.
And now nick, who is verychronically online, he's just
like feeding us, like we've.
We've gone from surviving offof crumbs to getting like
thanksgiving meals.
You know, from surviving off ofcrumbs to getting like
thanksgiving meals, you knowwhat I mean.
(02:07):
And so I'm like, yes, I needall of it, like I need to, I
need to take it all in.
But I also feel like I'm sotuned in to nicolandria because,
like, I'm seeing a black womanfinally be loved.
Do you know what I mean?
And it's like I I relate toalandria so much, like I I think
she said in like one of herinterviews for the past five
(02:28):
years she's just been like inher masculine energy and just
like not really letting anybodyin, not letting down her walls,
being like very like hardexterior, but now she's able to
be like soft and more feminineand doesn't have to do anything
in nick's presence and he's likeopening water bottles, like she
doesn't have to do anything.
She said that she can turn herbrain off and that's what I want
for all women, but especiallyblack women, because we don't
(02:50):
get to do that a lot.
We really don't get to do thata lot.
And I thought that you know, Italked about them in my last
episode and I was like I'm justgonna do one podcast episode on
them and then like, move on, I'mstill at the restaurant, I'm
I'm like stuck here and Nick islike not, he's like holding us
hostage at this point he,because he's feeding us so well
(03:11):
and I'm seeing this woman justlike be able to be taken care of
and like I just I love to seeit and like I can't look away
and I'm like, fuck this, likeI've just never been this
invested in other people's lives, like ever.
I've never considered myself astan of anyone.
I've never, you know, kept upwith anyone as much as I'm
keeping up with Nicolandria, andI'm just like I really need to
(03:34):
touch grass, but like Nick'slike no, don't touch grass.
Like look, here's anotherupdate, here's here's what we're
doing, here's Elandria you knowwhat I'm saying.
So it's like and I just loveseeing a black woman be loved
and also, of course, keeping upwith Nick Alandria.
They've been my couple sinceday one.
I literally I went back becauseI, as I was watching Love Island
(03:54):
, I was doing reviews of everyepisode and so I was like when
did I?
When did I clock Nick andAlandria?
Like when did I say?
Like, oh, I, I like them.
You know what I mean.
And I mean and it was episodeone.
It was episode one I said in myfirst ever recap like, oh, I
want to see more of Nick andAlandria.
And now I'm getting what Iasked for.
(04:14):
I manifested this, I prayed fortimes like this.
You know what I mean.
I also love seeing Shelly andAce, because they just came back
to the internet after taking alittle break, which we'll get to
in a second.
That's what we're going to talkabout today.
But I just love seeing twoblack women like be loved on.
I love.
(04:35):
I love a man who's chalant Likefuck the non-chalant shit.
If you like me, let me know andlet me know loudly.
And that's what Nick andAlandria.
I'm sorry that's what nick andalandria, I'm sorry that's what
nick and ace are doing.
They're just loving their womenvery loudly and I love that.
I love that.
And especially after seeingalandria with taylor initially
and the way that she put herselfout there and it was like not
(04:57):
reciprocated at least from whatwe saw, I know like production
cut a lot of what he was doingand it makes her look like
delusional and like she'schasing him, which I just know
that she would absolutely neverdo.
That production was very weird.
This season again, we'll getinto that in a little bit.
But after seeing that and thennow seeing nick, just like first
(05:17):
of all we saw him all seasonyearning for her right and now
we're seeing him like treat herexactly how she should be
treated I just can't look away.
It's definitely it's been thepeak of my week of just seeing
these two black women be lovedon so fiercely and so loudly and
it's just.
It just makes me so happy,especially segwaying into what
(05:40):
we're going to talk about today,seeing all the hate that
they're receiving from people,from brands, because they spoke
about their feelings and werevalid and how they felt, and
seeing, like, their backlash andthe racism and the hate that
they faced.
I just hope that the love fromtheir friends, from their family
(06:01):
, from Nick, from Ace, fromtheir fans, from everyone, is
just truly overpowering that,because it has been insane to
see, especially with shelly likethere's literally brands, huge
corporations, sending this womanhate and it's like, are y'all
fucking cool?
Like first we had buzzfeed,they posted a carousel of photos
(06:23):
of like what I would feed theislanders and it was like, first
we had buzzfeed, they posted acarousel of photos of like what
I would feed the islanders andit was like, as we know with
love island, usually when theywake up, the girls go to do
their makeup and the guys are inthe kitchen making them
breakfast.
So they were saying, like whatthey would feed all of the girls
breakfast.
I think it was shelly, alandria, hudda, iris and amaya, and you
know, everyone was getting anormal breakfast, but for shelly
(06:46):
they put that they would feedher a knuckle sandwich.
Are y'all cool, like?
What the fuck is going on?
That is so insane to me whenyou like really think about it.
Like, why are we perpetuatingviolence against a black woman?
Hello, are we?
(07:08):
Are we being for real right now?
Be so fucking for real, likeand it the way the media wants
to villainize black women trulyneeds to be studied.
They go to so many lengths tovillainize black women and to
make black women these negativestereotypes.
(07:28):
Like, for example, timeMagazine.
Also, they posted a carouseltalking about common toxic
communication styles that we sawin season seven and one of the
things that they highlighted wastoxic interruptions and they
said, as the first example theysaid they said oh, remember when
, after the heart rate challenge, huda was trying to apologize
(07:48):
to shelly and shelly told hudato save it first and foremost.
That's not at all what the fuckhappened.
Shelly didn't tell huda to saveit at all.
What they?
They got that from whenalandria was being dumped from
casa and zach was like, oh, canI talk to you?
And alandria said save yourwords.
So, first and foremost, mixingup the only two black women on
(08:10):
the show, dark-skinned blackwomen.
Let's be serious.
Like, first of all, they looknothing alike.
Yeah, they're both dolls, butalandria is a barbie and shelly
is a brat.
Like, let's be serious, let'sbe serious, so that's, that's
number one.
Just mixing up the two, twoblack women on the show is
(08:31):
fucking crazy.
Second of all, that's not evenwhat shelly said.
So they were called out.
For you know, like shelly neversaid save it to hudda, so they
changed it and they said thatshelly had said they still said
that it was a toxic interruptionand said that shelly cut Huda
off mid-sentence as she wastrying to apologize and said no,
no, no, we'll talk tomorrowAgain, that's not what the fuck
(08:54):
happened.
What happened is after the heartrate challenge, when Huda did
whatever she did we didn't seeit because of course, production
cut it Huda pulled Shelly andsaid you know, can we have a
chat?
At first, shelly said sure,let's have a chat.
They're starting to walk to theday beds to have a chat.
Neither one of them is speaking.
And then shelly turns and saysactually, you know what I'm
(09:16):
aggravated, I'm irritated, Idon't want to say anything out
of emotion.
So let's just talk tomorrow.
Hudda says, okay, love you.
Shelly says love you too.
They go their separate ways.
Is that not healthycommunication?
Is it not healthy communicationto to check your own emotions
and be like listen, you knowwhat I'm feeling, a type of way,
(09:37):
and I don't want to sayanything that I don't
necessarily mean, so let's justcome back at another time.
Is that not healthycommunication?
Mind you, I didn't read thefull article from time magazine
because once I saw that I wasjust like not interested.
But someone had commented andsaid that in their article.
(09:58):
They then go on to to talk abouthealthy forms of communication,
and one of them is recognizingwhen you're too upset to have a
conversation and lettingyourself cool off before having
a conversation.
So the very thing that shellydid that they're trying to
(10:18):
villainize her for and say thatthis is a toxic communication
pattern.
They then turned around andused that example as a healthy
communication pattern, but intheir, in their carousel on
instagram, they twist it in away to try to make it look like
(10:48):
shelly did everything right inthat situation.
She checked herself, checkedher emotions and was like you
know what?
Yeah, I'm not ready for thisconversation.
But instead of highlighting thatinstead of using that as a way
to say like, oh, this is healthycommunication, which you said
later on in the article, youtwist it because that better
fits the mean girl, bully, angryblack woman narrative that's
(11:09):
already been spiraling for weeks.
Mind you, they just posted thistime magazine posted this just
this week when the whole thingbetween hudda and shelly weeks
ago shows, rap shows overproductions closed but y'all are
still trying to make shellythis crazy, angry villain.
Like the way the media willtake a situation where a black
(11:32):
woman did exactly what she wassupposed to do and exhibited
positive, healthy communicationand they'll twist it to further
push out these crazy negativestereotypes against black women
is fucking crazy.
Like that is insane to me.
And it's like this is supposedto be just a fun little show, a
fun little show that we watch ofpeople trying to explore
(11:52):
connections, maybe some dramahere and there.
But it's like they try to runthis reality tv show as like a
movie, like a fiction movie.
You know what I mean and youknow the there's parts of a
fiction movie.
There's a protagonist andantagonist, like all that stuff.
So they're trying to instead ofjust letting people go, and I
promise if they just let peopleit's reality tv, right, it's
(12:17):
strangers who don't really knoweach other that well, there's,
there's gonna be drama.
But they try to force drama.
And they try to force this likevillain to fit the parts of a
story.
Because I feel like a lot ofpeople when I've learned this a
lot at this past watching loveisland they don't.
They can't separate realityfrom fiction or like when
(12:39):
something actually happensversus when it was like cut and
manipulated and twisted to fit acertain storyline.
Do you know what I mean?
And so production, they'retrying to to build this
storyline and all thesecharacters from these real
people who are gonna come outand experience like backlash or
whatever, from the things thatthey're carefully crafting.
(13:01):
But because they feel like theyneed to fit every part of a
storyline, they're like oh, weneed a protagonist, we need an
antagonist, and instead of justallowing things to flow
naturally and to show us exactlywhat happened in the way that
it happened, they twist it.
And the easiest person to makethe villain is a black woman,
because black women are alreadythe least protected.
(13:23):
Black women's feelings arealways invalidated.
Black women, you know, arealways held to a different
standard that other people areheld to, and so it's easy to
make a black woman a villain.
All you have to do is twist ita little bit and people brands
whoever will run rampant with it.
It's the easiest thing in theworld and it makes me so upset
(13:44):
that so many people fell for it.
First of all, trump's America,right?
So I'm not like I'm notsurprised that so many people
fell for it, I guess.
But what's really beendisappointing is to see how many
black people fell for it, tosee how many black people were
villainizing Shelly, calling heran Alandria bully, calling them
mean girls I've seen people saythat Shelly is a her and
Alandria bullies, calling themmean girls.
(14:04):
I've seen people say thatShelly is a narcissist, like
just the craziest fucking shit.
And it just.
It really is disappointingbecause, especially with the,
the other black women that Ihave seen villainize Shelly and
make her out to be this terribleperson.
Because, like they're talkingabout you too right, you know
(14:26):
what I mean.
Like sure, they're using Shellyas the example for this mean
girl, bully, angry black womanstereotype that they're pushing,
but they feel that same wayabout you.
If you were in that situationand you responded how Shelly did
which was completely valid ofrealizing, hey, I'm not in a
good position to have thisconversation and then, like,
(14:47):
express your feelings.
They would say the same thingabout you.
They would say that you're abully.
They would say that you're mean.
They would.
They would villainize you justas much as they're villainizing
shelly, and it's it.
It makes me so upset because Ifeel like people are still, to
this day, purposely missingshelly's point.
People are still like, oh well,why wasn't she mad at Ace?
(15:10):
Why didn't she say anything toAce?
Because it was about thefriendship.
It was about Huda and Shelly'sfriendship and the standards
that Huda had set when she waswith Jeremiah.
But she didn't turn around andhave that same respect for
Shelly.
Now that it was Shelly and Acewho had that strong connection
which I think we saw, maybe why,and it was made more sense of
(15:31):
in Huda's Call Her Daddyinterview um, I didn't watch the
interview because I'm leastinterested.
I'm as little interested inwhat Huda has to say as I am
into what JLo's music.
You know what I mean.
So I didn't watch the interviewbut I've seen clips here and
there and I guess Huda said thatat one point she, you know she
found Ace attractive and youknow, she someone that he was,
(15:54):
someone that she liked, and thatmakes the heart rate challenge
even fucking worse, because Iwas already side-eyeing the
whole.
Oh, I'm bringing Chris back toexplore you, but also I'm going
to explore him too.
I said in one of my recap videos, when the episodes were coming
out, I was like, did she do thatto kind of try and turn
shelly's head because she wasinterested in ace?
(16:14):
And then I was like, or am Ibeing like crazy?
I, I just.
This is why I always trust mygut.
I swear it's never failed me.
I've never.
I don't, I won't say never, butmost of the time, no, actually
maybe I should say never because, like I feel like I, my gut has
never failed me, my intuition,that spirit of discernment, like
(16:36):
I just I peep shit.
And I was vindicated Becauselike, yeah, like, and that's the
crazy thing too is like, whywould Huda choose Ace for that
Of all these men sitting here?
You said that at one point youwere interested in pepe.
Brian was not single, he waswith andreina at the time, but
(16:56):
like I feel like he that was.
I think that was when they werestarting to pull away from each
other and not really be asinterested in one another.
Or even chris chris was theretoo, so you could have done that
to crit, like, why would you dothat to ace?
I just don't it.
It just never made sense to me.
But after watching that I'mlike, okay, the pieces are, the
(17:17):
pieces of the puzzle are finallyfitting together.
I'm, I'm seeing it.
I'm seeing, I'm seeing it.
I'm seeing your, yourmanipulative shit.
I'm seeing it.
It's making more sense.
And then you have people whowill say, oh, that, but that was
just a challenge.
It was a heart rate challenge,like she was supposed to do her
big ones.
But then we'll turn around andsay that alandria is a mean girl
(17:37):
and messy because during thestand on business challenge she
shared about the kiss betweenchris and hudda and the
speakeasy, and it's like, wasthat not just a challenge?
Was it not the challenge to airyour grievances and like, get
everything out of there?
You see what I'm saying.
So it's like this is what I meanwhen I say that black women are
held to a different standardand they're held to rules and
(18:00):
regulations that other peopleare not held to, because for one
, it's just a challenge and thatwas the point of the challenge.
But for the other, she's a meangirl, bully and she shouldn't
have done that.
But for the other, she's a meangirl, bully and she shouldn't
have done that.
You see what I'm saying andthat's why I feel like it's so
disappointing, because I knowthat, especially as a dark
(18:21):
skinned, black woman, I knowthat there have been times where
your feelings were invalidated,where people jumped to
conclusions, where people ranwith shit, and now you're doing
it to Shelly.
And also I feel like we'reforgetting that words mean
things.
Right, like people are like ohmy God, shelly is this bully and
Alandria is a bully.
They're mean girls, they'rebullies.
Do we know what the word bullymeans?
A bully is someone who doessomething reoccurringly over
(18:46):
time antagonizing, intimidatingsomebody else.
Right, shelly and Alandria hadone grievance with Huda, one
grievance at in one time, andthey spoke their minds about it
in a very calm way.
They weren't trying toantagonize her, they literally
were just expressing theirfeelings and they were
immediately labeled bullies.
(19:07):
Y'all don't know what wordsmean.
Y'all don't know what wordsmean, because if we're gonna
label anybody a bully on thisseason, I fear it's hudda.
She multiple times calledbombshells, bitches, called them
all out of their names, saidthat they weren't girls, girls.
She publicly went after iris,after jeremiah picked, picked
(19:30):
iris in the door challenge, likethe only bully was huda.
But of course it was easy tomake shelly and alandria the
bullies because they knew thatall they had to do was do one
little thing, tweak one littlesituation and people were gonna
run with it.
And it's crazy and like.
That's why I get so upsetseeing so many black people
(19:53):
villainize shelly and alandriamainly shelly because it's like
y'all know, y'all, y'all know, Iknow that especially some of
the people that I've seen whohave called shelly and alandria
mean girls, know, you know thatyou, your feelings, have been
invalidated, you know thatlabels and stereotypes have been
(20:15):
pushed onto you that aren'ttrue and so for you to turn
around and do that to them afterone situation, I it's like I
know that this is just supposedto be a cute little reality TV
show, but it's, it's just areflection of actual reality.
It is a reflection of realityand it and it really bothers me
(20:36):
when people are like, oh, it hasnothing to do with race, like
people were calling shelly andelandria mean girls because they
were mean.
It didn't have anything to dowith race.
This is love island, usa, usa,the united states of america,
the country that was built offthe black backs of black people,
the country that every singlething racism is embedded into it
(20:56):
, because it is woven into oursociety.
You're gonna tell me in thatcountry that this has nothing to
do with race.
Be so for real.
Be so for real.
I know in.
I know you're smarter than that.
I know that people who aresaying that are smarter than
that.
Because here's the thingUnpopular opinion maybe.
(21:19):
I don't know if this iscontroversial to say Maybe it is
.
This is how I feel.
I'm open to you.
Know, if somebody disagreeswith me and wants to explain it
to me in another way, please do.
Somebody disagrees with me andwants to explain it to me in
another way, please do.
But I feel like racists arealways looking for a reason to
be racist, whether that's outloud, whether that's quietly.
They're they're always lookingfor, they're just waiting for a
(21:42):
reason.
You know what I mean.
And seeing so many black peoplecome out and villainize Shelly
and make her this mean girlbully, I'm not blaming black
people for racism.
I would never blame blackpeople for racism, because black
racism was started by whitepeople and you know those are
the main perpetuators of racism.
(22:02):
However, I do think that thereare times that black people can
aid in the perpetuation ofracism, whether that be against
other minorities and communities, whether that be against
ourselves.
I feel like there are times whenblack people help to uplift
racism and I feel like when somany black people were speaking
(22:23):
out against Shelly, the lightwas already green for the
negative stereotypes againstShelly.
Right, like, racists willalways figure out a way to be
racist.
They already have that greenlight.
But I think, with so many blackpeople coming out and also
saying like, yeah, shelly's abully, shelly's a mean girl,
whatever, it made that light alittle bit greener.
You know what I mean.
Like, racists are alwayslooking for an excuse to be
(22:45):
racist, and seeing so many blackpeople villainize shelly, I
feel like it.
It helped a little bit.
I'm I really do.
I feel like it and I'm notsaying that you have to fully
agree with shelly or how shehandled it.
I feel like if we're giving oneperson grace, we got to give
every person grace.
You know what I mean, and Ifeel like that was the one time
(23:08):
that shelly had an issue and itwas immediately no grace.
This is who she is.
She's a mean girl.
You know what I mean.
Same thing with alandria.
Like she was so patient when itcame to taylor, even though he
played in her fucking face badas fuck.
But the one time she crashedout and I'm not, she didn't even
crash out, her feelings werefucking valid.
(23:29):
He played in her face and sheshe clocked it right.
But the one time she finallylet taylor have it, cussed him
out a little bit.
People are like oh, finallywe're seeing the real alandria.
This is who she actually is andit's like we've seen her be
poised and gracious and classyall season, but the one time we
see her finally get angry,that's who she really is.
(23:53):
That's who Alandria really is.
Y'all are never beating theallegations.
You see her be angry one timeand that's who she really is.
Be so fucking serious, andthat's what I mean.
People are always waiting for away and an excuse and a reason
(24:14):
to push these negativestereotypes onto black women and
the amount of black people,especially black women, who came
out and villainized Shelly andElandria.
It made that light a little bitgreener, and I'm not saying
that you had to fully agree withthe way Shelly and Elandria
handled the situation.
(24:35):
Maybe you feel like they shouldhave went about it a different
way.
You're entitled to that opinionbut like, let's give them a
little bit of grace.
You know what I mean and I'vehad conversations with people
and like, trying to say thatlike we're giving everyone else
grace, why not give these twopeople grace too?
And it's just like people werejust not listening, not having
it, didn't want, likeimmediately went to villainizing
(24:58):
them.
And that's just so fuckingweird to me, because it's the
same people who are saying givehud a grace.
It's the same people who don'twant to give shelly and elandria
grace.
And it's weird.
It's weird.
And we, I know why.
It's just racism, it's racism.
And then there's some peoplelike, oh, it's not racism.
Yes, the fuck it is.
Because why are we giving onewoman chance after chance after
(25:20):
chance to give her redemptionarc and to show that she's grown
, but when it's shelly andalandria, y'all immediately want
to write them off.
You will not jail a levelgaslight me.
It is fucking racism, I don'tgive a fuck.
And again, the media is alwayslooking for a villain.
They're always looking forsomeone who they can paint in a
(25:43):
negative light, because that is,in some ways, what gets the
views right the drama, thevillain, villain, the whatever.
And it's so easy to make blackwomen the villain because we're
already not given any grace.
So, yeah, to see so many blackpeople, especially black women,
come out and immediatelyvillainize shelly and alandria
(26:04):
and immediately call them meangirls, bullies and whatever, you
, you made that light a littlebit greener, and you might not
want to admit to it, but at thethe end of the day, like you did
, I just think maybe we shouldbe a little bit more cautious of
the things that we're saying,especially when we have
platforms.
And myself too, there's beenthings in the past that I've
(26:24):
done where I was like I feltlike it was good in the moment,
I felt like I was doingsomething that was helpful, but
then, looking back on it, I'mlike it was good in the moment.
I felt like I was doingsomething that was helpful, but
then, looking back on it, I'mlike maybe that was more hurtful
than helpful.
You know what I mean.
Like there was this thing whenI was in like elementary school.
One of my teachers had thisthing on the wall and it was
like, before you speak.
I can't remember all of thethings, but the top two was like
(26:47):
is it true and is it helpful?
I feel like when you have aplatform, you have to really
really take those things intoconsideration Because, number
one, people lack media literacy.
And number two, when you'reposting online, you might want
your post to go to a certaindemographic, but it's going to
go wherever it takes it.
(27:09):
You know what I mean.
Like there are so manydifferent types of people online
people who have media literacy,people who don't, people who
you know have different beliefsand thoughts and ideologies than
you.
So you could, you can saysomething and you can mean it
one way, but you have tounderstand and remember that
someone could take that thingthat you're saying and the way
(27:30):
that they interpret it could becompletely different from the
way that you meant it or the waythat you wanted it to be
interpreted.
You know what I mean.
So when you're posting, youknow your think pieces or
whatever about shows or peopleor whatever.
I think we just all need to be alittle bit more cautious and
and think a little bit moreabout what's the overall thing
(27:51):
that if I post this saying couldit cause harm?
Could it be taken in a way thatI don't necessarily mean it to
be taken, could it aid in, youknow, the perpetuation of racism
or misogynoir or you knowwhatever.
And that's that's anotherreason why I try not to engage
in the diaspora wars when itcomes to, like, the different
(28:12):
black diasporas, because, like,at the end of the day, I'm
shooting myself in the foot byparticipating in this diaspora
war, because infighting amongstblack people was created by
white people and white supremacyto uphold white supremacy, to
keep us fighting each otherrather than fighting the actual
oppressor.
So, at the end of the day, it'slike, whenever I feel like
(28:34):
personally, whenever peopleparticipate in diaspora wars,
it's like you're cutting offyour nose to spite your face.
You're shooting yourself in thefoot because you're literally
just harming yourself more.
You're not really helping inthe grand scheme of things, like
it might make you feel betterat the moment, but in the long
run, you're hurting yourself andyou're hurting others who look
(28:58):
like you, like they're gonnalook at both of us, no matter
what black diaspora you're in,they're gonna look at both of us
and call us the hardy are.
So it's like what are we?
What are we fighting for?
You know what I mean, and so Ijust want people to be just a
little bit more cautious and I'mnot, and unfortunately,
everyone's entitled to their ownopinion but I just think that
(29:18):
we just need to be a little morecautious of our opinions and if
it's genuinely helpful Because,again, sometimes when you share
that opinion, like you'rehurting yourself too and you
might not realize it in themoment, but you're hurting
yourself too, especially withthings that push negative
stereotypes against black women,like they think that about you
as well, the same thing thatyou're saying about this other
(29:41):
black woman.
Like they, they also think thatabout you.
So I just think that we justhave to remember how big the
internet is and everyone on theinternet has different thought
processes, ideologies, beliefs,and so they're gonna take it the
way that they want to andthey're gonna take it and
fucking run with it, and we'veseen that, especially with
Shelly, like I.
(30:02):
It literally makes me sick to mystomach that people not people,
brands are villainizing thiswoman, are coming after this
woman, are twisting her words tofit a narrative that literally
like she did nothing wrong inthat situation.
Literally like she did nothingwrong in that situation.
Time magazine.
I hope she sues honestly likethat's not what happened.
(30:23):
They purposely twisted it totry to make it look like she did
something wrong and then lateron said like oh, this is a form
of healthy communication and itwas literally exactly what
shelly did.
It makes me sick and I hopethat for shelly and elandria,
like, the love outweighs all ofthe the negative that they're
seeing.
It makes me sick.
I saw, of course, I was readingan interview that Nick and
(30:43):
Alandria did, and Alandria wastalking about how she saw that
George Floyd photo of someonewho had photoshopped her face
onto George Floyd and thenHuda's face onto Derek Chauvin,
like when Derek Chauvin's kneewas on George Floyd's neck.
I hate that she saw that.
I hate that she saw that and Ijust thank God for Nick because
(31:06):
she said that he, if she getstoo in her head about comments
and stuff, he'll literally takeher phone from her and like I
love that.
I love that he is stepping inand not allowing her to get in
her head and taking all thathate, because it's like they so
don't deserve it.
This, this, the Shelly andAlandria hate, is actually so
fucking forced.
It's so forced and I just hopethat the love that they're
(31:28):
seeing from their friends, theirfamily, nick Ace, their fans,
whoever.
I just hope that that is trulyoutweighing any and all of the
hate that they they'reexperiencing or might see and
again.
In regards to the hate, I justhope that you know, as we run up
to today's episode, I just wantus to all like process thoughts
a little bit more, like let'sjust think a little bit more
(31:48):
about what we're putting out andhow it could be twisted and
perceived and and perpetuatehate against people and racism,
because it's like, yeah, maybeyou didn't fully understand, or
like the way that shelly andelandria went about some of the
things that they did in thevilla, but you have to remember,
number one highly edited show,so we're not really
(32:10):
understanding the full grasp oftheir emotions.
Number two they don't get tosleep a lot.
They're filming all the time.
They have no connections to theoutside world, their families,
their friends, the people whotruly know them to process
things that are going on.
So of course, everyone'semotions are going to be
heightened.
So let's just give them alittle bit of grace, let's allow
them, the same way, we'retrying to allow other people to
(32:31):
make mistakes, which truly blowsmy mind, because some of the
mistakes that huda made.
It's like maybe that's not justa mistake, that might just be
your character being as thoughthese things are recurring.
And number two, some of themistakes that she made mistakes
I say in quotes shouldn't begiven grace for the fact that
she tried to coerce chris intohaving sex with her, and no one
(32:56):
is really taking that seriously,no one's really talking about
it, no one is holding heraccountable for that is really
fucking weird to me.
It's really crazy.
And to see people still be like, oh, she deserves, you know
this or that she deserves great.
She sexually harassed him likethat is sexual harassment.
That man went into sleep andshe's broken and prodding him,
trying to convince him to havesex with her that is sexual
(33:18):
harassment.
What?
What are we talking about?
But y'all will see that andstill want to give her grace and
let her learn from her mistakes.
But shelly and alandria madeone mistake I say in quotes
because I don't think that theydid anything wrong.
But if y'all, like everyone,has different interpretations,
so if you want to say that theymade a mistake, okay, but y'all
(33:39):
won't give them any grace forthat, y'all won't let them learn
and grow the same way thatyou're trying to let this woman
who sexually harassed a man, whowas verbally abusive to
multiple people, you want togive her grace.
We live in a weird time, man.
We live in weird fucking timesand it's it's getting spooky out
(34:00):
here.
It's, it's real spooky.
But I just think we all need tobe a little bit more cautious
of the media and how they liketo portray black women and I
feel like it was a carefullycrafted trap and people that I
would not ever in a millionyears expect to fall into it.
I'm seeing fall into it and I'mjust like it's really crazy.
(34:26):
It's really weird and I'm justlike this is spooky.
I just don't know what's goingon, but I just hope that, moving
forward, let's just all think alittle bit more about the
things that we're putting outthere and the way that the media
and people will twist them tofurther push negative
stereotypes onto black women.
So that's just what I hope wewill all do moving forward,
(34:49):
especially people like it'smaking me second guess if some
of y'all really deserveplatforms like do y'all really
deserve to have people listen toyou?
I don't know, because it's likewhen you have a platform like
it, you have to be so careful,and I'm I'm learning this myself
too, so I'm not like justsaying this for other people,
this is for me as well.
When you have a platform, youdon't know, like yeah, you might
(35:10):
have your core audience whosees your things and who
understands and can add nuanceand different things like that.
But the shit that you say has,especially on tiktok has the
potential to go viral to so manypeople and they're going to
take what you say either at facevalue and not add any nuance to
it, or they're going tointerpret it in a way that best
(35:30):
fits their beliefs andideologies and thoughts and
feelings.
So it's like we just have to beso cautious and so careful of,
like, genuinely, what we'resaying and what we're putting
out there, because we have noidea who's going to take that
thing and twist it.
It could be people, it could bebrands like you just don't know
.
So I just think that we allshould just be a little bit more
(35:51):
careful and cautious and let'sjust have the same rules apply
to everyone.
If we're going to give oneperson grace, we need to be
given every person grace, andthat's just.
That's just how it should be,and the fact that it's not that
way is absolutely rooted inracism, and racists are always
looking for that green light.
They already have that greenlight, but they're looking for
ways that they can make thatlight a little greener.
(36:11):
So I just think that we shouldall just be a little cautious
and a little bit careful aboutthe things that we're saying,
because, number one, it fitsinto a stereotype that is pushed
on to black women, which verymuch includes the black women
who are doing these things thatpush these negative stereotypes.
So let's just all be a littlebit more careful.
That's, that's the moral of thestory.
(36:31):
Thank you guys, so much forwatching today's episode.
I hope everyone is having agood day, except for that orange
lady.
I hope shelly and alandria areexperiencing way more love than
any of the hate.
Um, nick, continue to takealandria's phone if you need to
ace.
He already said he let us knowearly.
I'll crash out about shelly.
So and honestly, like I'mscared of ace and nick because I
(36:54):
know both of them, like wehaven't really seen either one
of them angry or raise theirvoice or anything, but I know
that if they get to that point,sheesh, I'm scared.
So y'all, y'all, y'all chillbecause Ace and Shelly I'm sorry
Ace and Nick do not play aboutShelly and Alandria Don't play,
and I love that for them.
I love seeing the love thatAlandria and Shelly are getting
(37:17):
and I just hope that it fullyoutweighs the hate.
I love that for them.
I love seeing black girls beloved and that's why I'm
justifying my parasocialness tothem right now, because I'm not
being parasocial, I'm justloving seeing a black woman be
loved.
So that's my final thoughts andno further questions at this
time.
Thank you so much for watchingtoday's episode.
I hope us at this time.
(37:42):
Thank you so much for watchingtoday's episode.
I hope everyone is having agood day except for that orange
lady, and I will talk to you inthe next episode.
Peace and love.
Talk to you later.
The napkin in between, hostedby Daijné Jones, produced by
Daijné Jones, post-production byDaijné Jones, music by Sam
Champagne and graphics by IsmaVital.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe.
See you next episode.
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