August 17, 2025 • 20 mins
The journey toward authentic self-expression online isn't easy, especially for those from marginalized communities. In this candid episode, I open up about my recent creative project that unexpectedly resonated with so many of you, and how much it means to finally be embraced for my genuine self after years of feeling pressure to conform.
As I describe my "firecracker" personality (courtesy of my Sagittarius sun, Sagittarius moon, and Leo rising placements), I reflect on the liberation that comes with no longer trying to fit in. Being fully myself online—outspoken, passionate, and unfiltered—has created a space where we truly see and understand each other beyond the digital divide.
But having a platform comes with responsibilities. When followers asked for my take on Cardi B's recent fatphobic comments about her merchandise, I recognized something crucial: this was a moment to step back. Some situations call for us to amplify voices rather than center our own opinions, especially when we're not part of the community directly affected.
True allyship isn't performative—it requires knowing when to speak and when to listen. Dismissing harmful remarks as "just jokes" normalizes bigotry and upholds systems of oppression that kill people daily. Fighting fatphobia, racism, homophobia, and other forms of discrimination requires more than passive non-participation; it demands active, everyday resistance.
Follow educators like Samyra (@samyra) and Daven (@imdaven) for perspectives rooted in lived experience, and remember that education comes best from those navigating these realities firsthand. If you appreciate authentic content that entertains while challenging you to think differently, subscribe to Napkin In Between wherever you get your podcasts!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daijné (00:01):
Is this thing on?
Hello hello.
Uh oh, another yapper with amic.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to the Napkin In Between
podcast.
I am your host, Daijné Jones.
I hope everyone's having a goodweek, except for that orange
(00:22):
drink lady.
Of course I have been having agood week, except for that
orange chick lady.
Of course I have been having agreat week because how do I say
this?
I started a new project and Istarted it just kind of like out
of the blue, not reallythinking a lot of it, started it
, put it out there, and the lovethat I have received from you
(00:43):
guys on this project has beensurprising.
Honestly, like I didn't thinkthat so many people would care
about it or even notice it asquickly as you guys did.
I'm kind of gatekeeping itbecause I just I want y'all to
find it when you find it.
So I'm not going to go into toomuch depth about like what the
(01:04):
project is or whatever.
If you know what I'm talkingabout, you know.
But yeah, I started it likekind of out of the blue, not
really thinking too much of it,and I just love.
I love how y'all just show upand y'all truly like support me
and see me and I I've talkedabout this before, but it's like
(01:25):
when I post online, I'm trulylike the most genuine form of
myself and I am just likeputting myself out there as 100%
me, which is something thatI've truly had to learn how to
do, especially as a black woman,and unlearning my own
internalized racism.
And so I've gotten to the pointwhere I truly am just like
(01:45):
fully myself and putting mythoughts out there, my feelings,
regardless of if they're like100% correct, because I know
like I've missed the ballsometimes and, um, I I just
really it means so much more tome that you guys are here,
because I'm like this is justlike truly who I am and it's
taken me so long to get here,and so the fact that I'm being
(02:07):
my authentic self and y'all arehere, you're showing up, you're
enjoying my content, you'reengaging in it, like I just feel
like so blessed to have thecommunity that I do, because you
guys are just like you guysjust really mean a lot to me.
You really do.
I don't I don't want to getsappy, but like y'all, like I
just appreciate how much y'alltruly appreciate me and value me
(02:32):
and see me, because I am justbeing myself, and that's always
been something that I was afraidto be, because I'm like I don't
know how this is going to betaken, accepted, and so I've
always kind of just tried to gowith the flow and do things to
kind of just fit in.
I've never really wanted tostand out.
And now I feel like I don'tknow if the right words is to
(02:53):
say that I'm standing out butlike I'm just being me, I'm not
worried about conforming toanything.
I'm not trying to appeaseanyone or fit in or like not,
you know, go against their grain, like I'm truly just being my
authentic, genuine, outspokenself and I just love that.
You guys are appreciative ofthat and you guys always show up
(03:14):
and support me and it just wejust have a key like I, really
like we just key like I, y'alljust get it, y'all get it and I
get it and we get it like we seeeach other for real and I just
really appreciate it.
That's been the peak of my weekfor sure.
It's just like, like every timeI log in somewhere and like,
(03:34):
look at your guys's comments oryour dms, like I just feel such
a sense of gratitude and I justlove, I just love that y'all are
here.
I'm just very, very happy thatyou're here and I appreciate you
guys more than I could ever putinto words.
I don't even like have thewords to describe how much I
appreciate you guys, becausethis is something that I've
always wanted to do, like I'vealways just wanted to talk and
(03:58):
to make myself little videos andto make people laugh and to
also educate people, and youknow, I feel like I'm doing all
of that in one right now andit's it just really means a lot
to me and I just love that youguys are all here also.
Like, not gonna lie, I kind oflike the attention, like my big
three I'm a Sagittarius Sun,sagittarius Moon and Leo rising
(04:23):
and I I call myself a littlefirecracker.
Like I, I love to say like I'ma good time.
You know, you bring me to theparty because I'm a good time.
I'm there to have fun.
I'm there to you know, putmyself out there like she's a
good time.
However, if you do too much, ifyou light me up too much, I
(04:44):
will burn all this shit to thefucking ground and I'll look
real pretty while I'm doing it.
Like that's how I like todescribe myself to people
because, like it's true, like I,I'm a little firecracker, I'm a
good old time.
I'm here to have fun, I'm hereto you know, entertain, give you
all cute little show.
But if you do too much, if youlight me up too much, I will
(05:07):
burn this shit to the fuckingground and I'll look cute as
fuck while I'm doing it.
And then, on top of all that ofme being fire sign for my big
three, I'm a scorpio cusp atleast I think I am I'm.
My birthday is november 22nd,the first day of sag season, so
I'm on the cusp of Scorpio andSagittarius.
I don't really know what thatmeans.
I'm not super big intoastrology, but like, do with
(05:29):
that information what you will,but my Leo rising, she has been
like shining this week.
Like I don't know.
I feel like I've gotten so manynew followers this week and I'm
not gonna lie, the Leo risingin me, that little bitch, loves
attention, she does, she lovesattention.
So I'm just like, oh my god,like I'm not going to lie, the
Leo rising in me, that littlebitch, loves attention, she does
, she loves attention.
So I'm just like, oh my God,like I'm so happy you guys are
(05:50):
here and giving me attention andI just, I really, I'm just
really excited about thiscontent creation journey.
I've had to, you know, startover a couple of times because
TikTok hates to see a girl shine, but somehow, someway, you guys
always find me and I'm just sograteful for all of you and I
really appreciate all of youbeing here and just tuning in
(06:13):
and, yeah, I hope I entertainyou guys.
I hope you guys are alsolearning something, because
that's really important to metoo.
Like I try to make my contentsilly and funny, but, at the
core, like I do hope that peopleare learning things, and I've
gotten messages from peoplesaying that, like you know, I
didn't understand this thinguntil I watched your video,
because you made it in a waythat anybody can understand it
(06:35):
and that's the entire goal.
That is the whole goal.
If anyone, like if I can justhelp change one person's mind
about something and educate oneperson, that means everything to
me.
So that has definitely been thepeak of my week.
I'm just so grateful for all ofyou.
Thank you guys so much forbeing here.
I just I feel like I'm livingmy dream, like and I know that
like I have so much more to do,like there's.
(06:56):
So I have a ways to go, but I'mjust every single milestone.
I truly, truly, truly am soappreciative of it and I love
you guys and just thank you so,so much for being here.
So that has been the peak of myweek.
Please tell me the peak of yourweek something that made you
smile, kept you grounded, keptyou sane in the chaos of the
world, thinking about my contentand adding my opinion, my
(07:18):
thoughts, and trying to educatepeople and talking about
important social issues.
Going into what we're going totalk about today.
I kind of want to talk aboutwhen it's important, to not talk
when it's important to shut thefuck up.
I get that you guys want myopinion on things and I really
appreciate that.
I I understand how much y'allvalue my opinion and I do not
(07:39):
take that lightly.
And so this past week y'allhave been asking my opinions on
the cardi b situation and hermerch and the 3x t-shirts.
Um, if you're not familiar whatI'm talking about, cardi b had
gotten on live, um, after all ofher 3x merch shirts sold out
and was like essentially callingher fans fat and like making
(08:02):
jokes about them being fat andsaying that you know they were
big or whatever.
And y'all have been asking memy opinion on the situation and
my thoughts and different thingslike that, and my only opinion
is that my opinion doesn'tfucking matter.
My opinion on this does notfucking matter because I am not
(08:22):
a part of the community directlyaffected by her fatphobic.
We're going to call it what itis.
I don't care if it was hertrying to joke with her fans,
whatever, it's still fatphobic.
Okay, so my opinion on thatdoes not matter because I am not
a part of the community thatwas directly affected.
Fatphobia is real, extremelylike.
(08:45):
It is a part of bigotry, it isa part of white supremacy and it
is.
It's alive and well.
And so I understand you know,because I do talk about a lot of
, you know, white supremacy andbigotry, things like that I
understand why you guys want myopinion, but I really want to
encourage y'all to listen to thepeople that it directly affects
, because the way that I feelabout it, it's like, say that
(09:09):
cardi b had a makeup line, okay,and the darkest shade of
foundation had sold out, and shegot a line and was like damn,
you fucking darkies.
Like damn, y'all saw, y'allsold that shit out quick.
Y'all dark as fuck.
If she said some shit like thatand then a light skinned or
(09:31):
white person was trying to givetheir opinion about it, that
shit would piss me the fuck off.
Like if.
If that were to happen andpeople were getting online and
being rightfully upset about itbecause it's colorist, right,
and then people were like, oh mygod, it's just a joke.
It's just a joke, like she wasjust joking I would be mad as
(09:53):
fuck.
I would mad as fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
If it is a joke, it's stillwrong, right.
And I would be mad as fuck ifsomeone from a community when
that who like didn't affect them, was trying to make like a
think piece about it because, atthe end of the day, like this
is this is people's lives, right?
(10:14):
Fat phobia affects people'sreal lives, racism affects
people's real lives, colorismaffects people's real lives.
So you can try to say like, oh,it's just a joke, it's just a
joke, it's not a fucking joke.
It's not a fucking joke becauseit affects people's real lives.
Any form of white supremacy, anyform of bigotry like that will
(10:35):
never be a joke to me.
Like I don't think that wedon't need to be normalizing
those kinds of jokes.
That's why I can never getbehind like comedians and their
whole spiel or their wholeshtick is like racist jokes, but
like they're not black or anysort of minority in which that
affects.
(10:56):
Like how I feel is like if you,if you're black or you're like
a part of a minority and youwant to make a joke about you
know that thing?
I I'm not here to tell you thatyou can't do that.
I think that there is a lot ofhealing in dark humor.
Me myself, I use a lot of darkhumor, but if you're not a part
(11:16):
of the group that you're using,this quote-unquote dark humor on
.
Like dark humor is a way tocope with something.
If you're not a part of thatcommunity, what the fuck are you
coping with?
Why the fuck are you making ajoke about it?
It doesn't affect you.
It's not something that youhave to cope with because you're
benefiting from whatever theywant to joke about.
(11:40):
You get what I'm saying.
So it's like trying to say thatit's a joke but, like you,
you're not affected by whateverit is that's being joked about.
I don't think that that is yourplace.
I don't think that that's fairfor you to make that kind of
joke, like it's not, it's notfunny.
And especially if people are apart of that community and are
telling you like it's not funny,you don't get to invalidate
(12:02):
their feelings by telling themoh, it's just a joke.
It's just a joke like I thinkthat's such a problem in the
world.
Is that like when people whoare affected by something
negatively try to come to peopleand voice how that thing
affects them?
People are so quick to try todefend themselves to be like oh
(12:22):
well, this is why that thing ishappening, or it's not that big
of a dealer, or it's just a joke.
Listen to the community that itis affecting.
Listen to the community thatthat thing is affecting.
If it doesn't directly affectyou, you don't get to tell other
communities how to feel aboutthat thing, and that's how I
(12:42):
feel about this whole thing.
If you guys ask me my opinion,again, I understand.
I give my opinion on a lot ofthings and so I understand why
you want my opinion.
Listen to the people that itdirectly affects.
However they feel about it ishow I feel about it.
I'm standing 10 toes behind howthey feel about it.
If they say this thing wasfucking wrong, then it was
(13:03):
fucking wrong and I didn't needto hear from other people that
it was wrong.
I immediately, when I heard it,I was like what the fuck?
Like?
I did think that it was wrong,but I don't think that my voice
should be louder than thepeople's that it actually
affects because, again, if itwere something that negatively
affected black people or blackwomen, I don't.
(13:24):
I don't really want to hearfrom other communities how much
it doesn't matter, how much it'sjust a joke, how much it was
people are just taking out ofproportion.
Because, at the end of the day,if something has the power or
the ability to negatively affectmy life in any capacity, it's
not a joke, it's not a fuckingjoke.
(13:45):
And I think when I said this ina previous podcast, when we
were talking about love islandand the amount of black women
who you know were callingalandria and shelly bullies and
things, there are times when wecan aid in our own oppression,
(14:10):
can aid in our own oppressionwhere we can help to uplift
white supremacy and bigotry and,you know, all of these things
that keep us oppressed.
And so when we try to downplaythings and being like, oh, it's
just a joke, like it's not thatdeep, whatever, whatever.
Like that aids in thenormalization of bigotry, of
racism and fat phobia, ofhomophobia, misogyny,
transphobia, like those thingsare not a joke.
(14:33):
If it can negatively affectsomeone, if it can kill you, I I
don't think that's a joke.
And not just you, but like alsoput yourself in other people's
shoes.
Like if it can negativelyaffect other people's lives, it
can kill them.
That's not a joke.
And also we have to think aboutintersectionality and how
different forms of repressionLike if it can negatively affect
other people's lives, it cankill them.
That's not a joke.
And also we have to think aboutintersectionality and how
different forms of oppression gohand in hand.
(14:53):
Fat phobia directly impactsracism and vice versa.
Like we can't be get on heretalking about something.
Oh, it's just a joke.
It's just a joke.
It's affecting real people'slives and it's unless we fight
it.
It a joke.
It's affecting real people'slives and it's unless we fight
it, it's always gonna affectreal people's lives.
This is it.
That's why I always say it'slike you can't just say that
(15:14):
you're not racist, not fatphobic, not homophobic, whatever.
You have to be anti thosethings.
You have to work every day totry to unlearn and fight those
things.
It's not enough, and it willnever be enough, to just say, oh
, I'm not racist, I'm not fatphobic, I'm not homophobic, I'm
(15:35):
not transphobic.
You have to work every singleday to be anti those things,
because they are embedded intoour society, into every part of
our society, all of it, all ofit is, and so I really want to
encourage y'all to listen to thepeople that it directly affects
, that my voice does not matter.
(15:56):
I stand behind a group ofpeople who it directly affects
and it was wrong.
It was wrong.
I don't think you need me tosay that.
I think you need to listen topeople that it directly affects.
But, yeah, I do think that itwas wrong and I do think that
education is needed, because Ialso saw she was talking about
(16:18):
she was trying to like defendherself Cardi B and was like you
can go to a town as a blackperson and you could be killed
there as a black person and youcould be killed there.
No one's trying to kill fatpeople and it's like that's
extremely fucking ignorant,because fat phobia can kill
people, it absolutely can and itdoes, and it has like open the
(16:40):
fucking schools.
This.
It's just so fucking ignorantand we have too much.
We have computers in ourfucking pockets.
We have too much access to theinternet for y'all to be this
fucking stupid.
If you can, if you have the time, to go on live or whatever and
make these fucking disgustingfat phobic comments I'm not even
(17:03):
gonna call them jokes, becausethey're not jokes, they're
fucking fat phobic comments andthen also try to have time to
defend yourself from your fatphobic comments.
You have time to educateyourself.
You absolutely do.
You absolutely do so.
Let's, let's do that and let'slisten to the people that it
directly affects, because I feellike that's where education
comes the best from is frompeople who have these lived
(17:26):
experiences, who know exactlyhow this thing affects their
lives.
And so I wanna shout out Samira.
I've learned so much from her.
She advocates so much for theplus size community.
I've learned so much that I didnot know from her.
I also want to shout out I'mDabin.
I've learned so much from heras well about you know fat
(17:48):
phobia and like, not even justfat phobia.
She's just so fucking smart.
I love listening to her videos.
I love watching her learn somuch from her.
Those are the people that I wantyou to go listen to on on this
topic.
I I genuinely this is a timewhere I am going to shut the
fuck up and I'm going to telly'all who I want you to listen
(18:10):
to, because their opinions aremy opinions.
I'm 10 toes behind them.
I I love how they have spokenabout this.
I agree wholeheartedly withtheir message and I want to
encourage you to go and listento what they're saying, because
it is so important and fatphobia is real.
It's real and it needs to betalked about.
(18:31):
It needs to be addressed.
I feel like it's swept underthe rug so much, and all forms
of oppression need to be calledout.
They're all important.
None of them are jokes.
None of them are funny.
We need to listen to peoplethat this affects, and that's
what I just want to encourageeveryone to do.
I'm going to shut the fuck upnow, as we are for this episode.
(18:52):
For everyone who has been askingme my opinion on this, we all
need to learn when to shut thefuck up and to listen, and
that's what I have been doing.
That's what I want to encourageall of you to do.
Samira, I am Davin Like.
That's why I want to encouragey'all to go listen to it Because
I think it's important.
And yeah, I'm shutting the fuckup Because, again, I feel like
(19:14):
there's times when you shouldspeak and when you should talk
about things, and there's timeswhen you should speak and when
you should talk about things andthere's times when you should
shut the fuck up and you shouldlisten.
And this is one of those timeswhere I feel like my opinion
does not matter and we need tolisten to the people who it
actually affects.
I think world problems could bebetter solved if we actually
listen to the people who wereaffected by those problems,
(19:36):
because, as I said before, Ithink the best way to learn
something is through a livedexperience, and so if we would
listen to people who actuallylive that experience, I think
the world would know more peaceand we would actually be further
than we are now.
So I say all that to say Istand 10 toes behind Samira.
I stand 10 toes behind I'mDavin.
(19:57):
Go listen to them and allowthem to educate you.
It is so important.
All forms of oppression need tobe talked about, need to be
taken seriously.
Literally none of us are freeuntil we're all free.
So please go listen to thesebeautiful ladies, educate
yourselves, and I'm shutting thefuck up because, again, my
opinion does not matter.
(20:17):
Thank you guys so much forwatching today's episode.
I hope everyone's having a goodweek, except for that orange
chick lady, and I will talk toyou in the next episode.
Peace and love.
Talk to you later.
The Napkin in Between, hostedby Daijné Jones, produced by
Daijné Jones, post-production byDaijné Jones, music by Sam
Champagne and graphics by IsmaVidal.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe.
(20:37):
See you next.
Is this thing on?
Hello hello.
Uh oh, another yapper with amic.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to the Napkin In Between
podcast.
I am your host, Daijné Jones.
I hope everyone's having a goodweek, except for that orange
(00:22):
drink lady.
Of course I have been having agood week, except for that
orange chick lady.
Of course I have been having agreat week because how do I say
this?
I started a new project and Istarted it just kind of like out
of the blue, not reallythinking a lot of it, started it
, put it out there, and the lovethat I have received from you
(00:43):
guys on this project has beensurprising.
Honestly, like I didn't thinkthat so many people would care
about it or even notice it asquickly as you guys did.
I'm kind of gatekeeping itbecause I just I want y'all to
find it when you find it.
So I'm not going to go into toomuch depth about like what the
(01:04):
project is or whatever.
If you know what I'm talkingabout, you know.
But yeah, I started it likekind of out of the blue, not
really thinking too much of it,and I just love.
I love how y'all just show upand y'all truly like support me
and see me and I I've talkedabout this before, but it's like
(01:25):
when I post online, I'm trulylike the most genuine form of
myself and I am just likeputting myself out there as 100%
me, which is something thatI've truly had to learn how to
do, especially as a black woman,and unlearning my own
internalized racism.
And so I've gotten to the pointwhere I truly am just like
(01:45):
fully myself and putting mythoughts out there, my feelings,
regardless of if they're like100% correct, because I know
like I've missed the ballsometimes and, um, I I just
really it means so much more tome that you guys are here,
because I'm like this is justlike truly who I am and it's
taken me so long to get here,and so the fact that I'm being
(02:07):
my authentic self and y'all arehere, you're showing up, you're
enjoying my content, you'reengaging in it, like I just feel
like so blessed to have thecommunity that I do, because you
guys are just like you guysjust really mean a lot to me.
You really do.
I don't I don't want to getsappy, but like y'all, like I
just appreciate how much y'alltruly appreciate me and value me
(02:32):
and see me, because I am justbeing myself, and that's always
been something that I was afraidto be, because I'm like I don't
know how this is going to betaken, accepted, and so I've
always kind of just tried to gowith the flow and do things to
kind of just fit in.
I've never really wanted tostand out.
And now I feel like I don'tknow if the right words is to
(02:53):
say that I'm standing out butlike I'm just being me, I'm not
worried about conforming toanything.
I'm not trying to appeaseanyone or fit in or like not,
you know, go against their grain, like I'm truly just being my
authentic, genuine, outspokenself and I just love that.
You guys are appreciative ofthat and you guys always show up
(03:14):
and support me and it just wejust have a key like I, really
like we just key like I, y'alljust get it, y'all get it and I
get it and we get it like we seeeach other for real and I just
really appreciate it.
That's been the peak of my weekfor sure.
It's just like, like every timeI log in somewhere and like,
(03:34):
look at your guys's comments oryour dms, like I just feel such
a sense of gratitude and I justlove, I just love that y'all are
here.
I'm just very, very happy thatyou're here and I appreciate you
guys more than I could ever putinto words.
I don't even like have thewords to describe how much I
appreciate you guys, becausethis is something that I've
always wanted to do, like I'vealways just wanted to talk and
(03:58):
to make myself little videos andto make people laugh and to
also educate people, and youknow, I feel like I'm doing all
of that in one right now andit's it just really means a lot
to me and I just love that youguys are all here also.
Like, not gonna lie, I kind oflike the attention, like my big
three I'm a Sagittarius Sun,sagittarius Moon and Leo rising
(04:23):
and I I call myself a littlefirecracker.
Like I, I love to say like I'ma good time.
You know, you bring me to theparty because I'm a good time.
I'm there to have fun.
I'm there to you know, putmyself out there like she's a
good time.
However, if you do too much, ifyou light me up too much, I
(04:44):
will burn all this shit to thefucking ground and I'll look
real pretty while I'm doing it.
Like that's how I like todescribe myself to people
because, like it's true, like I,I'm a little firecracker, I'm a
good old time.
I'm here to have fun, I'm hereto you know, entertain, give you
all cute little show.
But if you do too much, if youlight me up too much, I will
(05:07):
burn this shit to the fuckingground and I'll look cute as
fuck while I'm doing it.
And then, on top of all that ofme being fire sign for my big
three, I'm a scorpio cusp atleast I think I am I'm.
My birthday is november 22nd,the first day of sag season, so
I'm on the cusp of Scorpio andSagittarius.
I don't really know what thatmeans.
I'm not super big intoastrology, but like, do with
(05:29):
that information what you will,but my Leo rising, she has been
like shining this week.
Like I don't know.
I feel like I've gotten so manynew followers this week and I'm
not gonna lie, the Leo risingin me, that little bitch, loves
attention, she does, she lovesattention.
So I'm just like, oh my god,like I'm not going to lie, the
Leo rising in me, that littlebitch, loves attention, she does
, she loves attention.
So I'm just like, oh my God,like I'm so happy you guys are
(05:50):
here and giving me attention andI just, I really, I'm just
really excited about thiscontent creation journey.
I've had to, you know, startover a couple of times because
TikTok hates to see a girl shine, but somehow, someway, you guys
always find me and I'm just sograteful for all of you and I
really appreciate all of youbeing here and just tuning in
(06:13):
and, yeah, I hope I entertainyou guys.
I hope you guys are alsolearning something, because
that's really important to metoo.
Like I try to make my contentsilly and funny, but, at the
core, like I do hope that peopleare learning things, and I've
gotten messages from peoplesaying that, like you know, I
didn't understand this thinguntil I watched your video,
because you made it in a waythat anybody can understand it
(06:35):
and that's the entire goal.
That is the whole goal.
If anyone, like if I can justhelp change one person's mind
about something and educate oneperson, that means everything to
me.
So that has definitely been thepeak of my week.
I'm just so grateful for all ofyou.
Thank you guys so much forbeing here.
I just I feel like I'm livingmy dream, like and I know that
like I have so much more to do,like there's.
(06:56):
So I have a ways to go, but I'mjust every single milestone.
I truly, truly, truly am soappreciative of it and I love
you guys and just thank you so,so much for being here.
So that has been the peak of myweek.
Please tell me the peak of yourweek something that made you
smile, kept you grounded, keptyou sane in the chaos of the
world, thinking about my contentand adding my opinion, my
(07:18):
thoughts, and trying to educatepeople and talking about
important social issues.
Going into what we're going totalk about today.
I kind of want to talk aboutwhen it's important, to not talk
when it's important to shut thefuck up.
I get that you guys want myopinion on things and I really
appreciate that.
I I understand how much y'allvalue my opinion and I do not
(07:39):
take that lightly.
And so this past week y'allhave been asking my opinions on
the cardi b situation and hermerch and the 3x t-shirts.
Um, if you're not familiar whatI'm talking about, cardi b had
gotten on live, um, after all ofher 3x merch shirts sold out
and was like essentially callingher fans fat and like making
(08:02):
jokes about them being fat andsaying that you know they were
big or whatever.
And y'all have been asking memy opinion on the situation and
my thoughts and different thingslike that, and my only opinion
is that my opinion doesn'tfucking matter.
My opinion on this does notfucking matter because I am not
(08:22):
a part of the community directlyaffected by her fatphobic.
We're going to call it what itis.
I don't care if it was hertrying to joke with her fans,
whatever, it's still fatphobic.
Okay, so my opinion on thatdoes not matter because I am not
a part of the community thatwas directly affected.
Fatphobia is real, extremelylike.
(08:45):
It is a part of bigotry, it isa part of white supremacy and it
is.
It's alive and well.
And so I understand you know,because I do talk about a lot of
, you know, white supremacy andbigotry, things like that I
understand why you guys want myopinion, but I really want to
encourage y'all to listen to thepeople that it directly affects
, because the way that I feelabout it, it's like, say that
(09:09):
cardi b had a makeup line, okay,and the darkest shade of
foundation had sold out, and shegot a line and was like damn,
you fucking darkies.
Like damn, y'all saw, y'allsold that shit out quick.
Y'all dark as fuck.
If she said some shit like thatand then a light skinned or
(09:31):
white person was trying to givetheir opinion about it, that
shit would piss me the fuck off.
Like if.
If that were to happen andpeople were getting online and
being rightfully upset about itbecause it's colorist, right,
and then people were like, oh mygod, it's just a joke.
It's just a joke, like she wasjust joking I would be mad as
(09:53):
fuck.
I would mad as fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
If it is a joke, it's stillwrong, right.
And I would be mad as fuck ifsomeone from a community when
that who like didn't affect them, was trying to make like a
think piece about it because, atthe end of the day, like this
is this is people's lives, right?
(10:14):
Fat phobia affects people'sreal lives, racism affects
people's real lives, colorismaffects people's real lives.
So you can try to say like, oh,it's just a joke, it's just a
joke, it's not a fucking joke.
It's not a fucking joke becauseit affects people's real lives.
Any form of white supremacy, anyform of bigotry like that will
(10:35):
never be a joke to me.
Like I don't think that wedon't need to be normalizing
those kinds of jokes.
That's why I can never getbehind like comedians and their
whole spiel or their wholeshtick is like racist jokes, but
like they're not black or anysort of minority in which that
affects.
(10:56):
Like how I feel is like if you,if you're black or you're like
a part of a minority and youwant to make a joke about you
know that thing?
I I'm not here to tell you thatyou can't do that.
I think that there is a lot ofhealing in dark humor.
Me myself, I use a lot of darkhumor, but if you're not a part
(11:16):
of the group that you're using,this quote-unquote dark humor on
.
Like dark humor is a way tocope with something.
If you're not a part of thatcommunity, what the fuck are you
coping with?
Why the fuck are you making ajoke about it?
It doesn't affect you.
It's not something that youhave to cope with because you're
benefiting from whatever theywant to joke about.
(11:40):
You get what I'm saying.
So it's like trying to say thatit's a joke but, like you,
you're not affected by whateverit is that's being joked about.
I don't think that that is yourplace.
I don't think that that's fairfor you to make that kind of
joke, like it's not, it's notfunny.
And especially if people are apart of that community and are
telling you like it's not funny,you don't get to invalidate
(12:02):
their feelings by telling themoh, it's just a joke.
It's just a joke like I thinkthat's such a problem in the
world.
Is that like when people whoare affected by something
negatively try to come to peopleand voice how that thing
affects them?
People are so quick to try todefend themselves to be like oh
(12:22):
well, this is why that thing ishappening, or it's not that big
of a dealer, or it's just a joke.
Listen to the community that itis affecting.
Listen to the community thatthat thing is affecting.
If it doesn't directly affectyou, you don't get to tell other
communities how to feel aboutthat thing, and that's how I
(12:42):
feel about this whole thing.
If you guys ask me my opinion,again, I understand.
I give my opinion on a lot ofthings and so I understand why
you want my opinion.
Listen to the people that itdirectly affects.
However they feel about it ishow I feel about it.
I'm standing 10 toes behind howthey feel about it.
If they say this thing wasfucking wrong, then it was
(13:03):
fucking wrong and I didn't needto hear from other people that
it was wrong.
I immediately, when I heard it,I was like what the fuck?
Like?
I did think that it was wrong,but I don't think that my voice
should be louder than thepeople's that it actually
affects because, again, if itwere something that negatively
affected black people or blackwomen, I don't.
(13:24):
I don't really want to hearfrom other communities how much
it doesn't matter, how much it'sjust a joke, how much it was
people are just taking out ofproportion.
Because, at the end of the day,if something has the power or
the ability to negatively affectmy life in any capacity, it's
not a joke, it's not a fuckingjoke.
(13:45):
And I think when I said this ina previous podcast, when we
were talking about love islandand the amount of black women
who you know were callingalandria and shelly bullies and
things, there are times when wecan aid in our own oppression,
(14:10):
can aid in our own oppressionwhere we can help to uplift
white supremacy and bigotry and,you know, all of these things
that keep us oppressed.
And so when we try to downplaythings and being like, oh, it's
just a joke, like it's not thatdeep, whatever, whatever.
Like that aids in thenormalization of bigotry, of
racism and fat phobia, ofhomophobia, misogyny,
transphobia, like those thingsare not a joke.
(14:33):
If it can negatively affectsomeone, if it can kill you, I I
don't think that's a joke.
And not just you, but like alsoput yourself in other people's
shoes.
Like if it can negativelyaffect other people's lives, it
can kill them.
That's not a joke.
And also we have to think aboutintersectionality and how
different forms of repressionLike if it can negatively affect
other people's lives, it cankill them.
That's not a joke.
And also we have to think aboutintersectionality and how
different forms of oppression gohand in hand.
(14:53):
Fat phobia directly impactsracism and vice versa.
Like we can't be get on heretalking about something.
Oh, it's just a joke.
It's just a joke.
It's affecting real people'slives and it's unless we fight
it.
It a joke.
It's affecting real people'slives and it's unless we fight
it, it's always gonna affectreal people's lives.
This is it.
That's why I always say it'slike you can't just say that
(15:14):
you're not racist, not fatphobic, not homophobic, whatever.
You have to be anti thosethings.
You have to work every day totry to unlearn and fight those
things.
It's not enough, and it willnever be enough, to just say, oh
, I'm not racist, I'm not fatphobic, I'm not homophobic, I'm
(15:35):
not transphobic.
You have to work every singleday to be anti those things,
because they are embedded intoour society, into every part of
our society, all of it, all ofit is, and so I really want to
encourage y'all to listen to thepeople that it directly affects
, that my voice does not matter.
(15:56):
I stand behind a group ofpeople who it directly affects
and it was wrong.
It was wrong.
I don't think you need me tosay that.
I think you need to listen topeople that it directly affects.
But, yeah, I do think that itwas wrong and I do think that
education is needed, because Ialso saw she was talking about
(16:18):
she was trying to like defendherself Cardi B and was like you
can go to a town as a blackperson and you could be killed
there as a black person and youcould be killed there.
No one's trying to kill fatpeople and it's like that's
extremely fucking ignorant,because fat phobia can kill
people, it absolutely can and itdoes, and it has like open the
(16:40):
fucking schools.
This.
It's just so fucking ignorantand we have too much.
We have computers in ourfucking pockets.
We have too much access to theinternet for y'all to be this
fucking stupid.
If you can, if you have the time, to go on live or whatever and
make these fucking disgustingfat phobic comments I'm not even
(17:03):
gonna call them jokes, becausethey're not jokes, they're
fucking fat phobic comments andthen also try to have time to
defend yourself from your fatphobic comments.
You have time to educateyourself.
You absolutely do.
You absolutely do so.
Let's, let's do that and let'slisten to the people that it
directly affects, because I feellike that's where education
comes the best from is frompeople who have these lived
(17:26):
experiences, who know exactlyhow this thing affects their
lives.
And so I wanna shout out Samira.
I've learned so much from her.
She advocates so much for theplus size community.
I've learned so much that I didnot know from her.
I also want to shout out I'mDabin.
I've learned so much from heras well about you know fat
(17:48):
phobia and like, not even justfat phobia.
She's just so fucking smart.
I love listening to her videos.
I love watching her learn somuch from her.
Those are the people that I wantyou to go listen to on on this
topic.
I I genuinely this is a timewhere I am going to shut the
fuck up and I'm going to telly'all who I want you to listen
(18:10):
to, because their opinions aremy opinions.
I'm 10 toes behind them.
I I love how they have spokenabout this.
I agree wholeheartedly withtheir message and I want to
encourage you to go and listento what they're saying, because
it is so important and fatphobia is real.
It's real and it needs to betalked about.
(18:31):
It needs to be addressed.
I feel like it's swept underthe rug so much, and all forms
of oppression need to be calledout.
They're all important.
None of them are jokes.
None of them are funny.
We need to listen to peoplethat this affects, and that's
what I just want to encourageeveryone to do.
I'm going to shut the fuck upnow, as we are for this episode.
(18:52):
For everyone who has been askingme my opinion on this, we all
need to learn when to shut thefuck up and to listen, and
that's what I have been doing.
That's what I want to encourageall of you to do.
Samira, I am Davin Like.
That's why I want to encouragey'all to go listen to it Because
I think it's important.
And yeah, I'm shutting the fuckup Because, again, I feel like
(19:14):
there's times when you shouldspeak and when you should talk
about things, and there's timeswhen you should speak and when
you should talk about things andthere's times when you should
shut the fuck up and you shouldlisten.
And this is one of those timeswhere I feel like my opinion
does not matter and we need tolisten to the people who it
actually affects.
I think world problems could bebetter solved if we actually
listen to the people who wereaffected by those problems,
(19:36):
because, as I said before, Ithink the best way to learn
something is through a livedexperience, and so if we would
listen to people who actuallylive that experience, I think
the world would know more peaceand we would actually be further
than we are now.
So I say all that to say Istand 10 toes behind Samira.
I stand 10 toes behind I'mDavin.
(19:57):
Go listen to them and allowthem to educate you.
It is so important.
All forms of oppression need tobe talked about, need to be
taken seriously.
Literally none of us are freeuntil we're all free.
So please go listen to thesebeautiful ladies, educate
yourselves, and I'm shutting thefuck up because, again, my
opinion does not matter.
(20:17):
Thank you guys so much forwatching today's episode.
I hope everyone's having a goodweek, except for that orange
chick lady, and I will talk toyou in the next episode.
Peace and love.
Talk to you later.
The Napkin in Between, hostedby Daijné Jones, produced by
Daijné Jones, post-production byDaijné Jones, music by Sam
Champagne and graphics by IsmaVidal.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe.
(20:37):
See you next.
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