December 14, 2025 • 29 mins
The photos from a thirtieth birthday party sparked something bigger than nostalgia: a reminder that peace is a choice you have to defend. I talk about cutting off toxic ties—even when they’re family—and how that pain made room for a community that actually shows up. That shift sets the stage for a harder conversation sparked by the new documentary on Diddy and the accounts surrounding Cassie Ventura: what happens when jurors bring celebrity worship and misogyny into the room where justice is supposed to live.
I unpack the moments that made my blood boil—like a juror recalling a decades-old TV head-nod while doubting a survivor’s memory of kidnapping—and why “separate the art from the artist” is often just cover for ignoring harm. We address the dangerous myth of “why didn’t she just leave,” especially when an abuser also controls contracts, income, and public narrative. From video evidence of forced returns to the mechanics of coercive control, we connect the dots on how power silences, distorts, and then gets rewarded for it.
This conversation isn’t about celebrity gossip; it’s about culture, trauma literacy, and the systems that keep failing people who speak up. I share personal lessons on boundaries and peace, then widen the lens to demand better: smarter jury selection, less starstruck coverage, and a public that recognizes trauma responses as evidence of harm, not contradictions. If you care about accountability, community, and making space for survivors to be believed, you’ll find clarity and fire here.
Listen, share with someone who needs to hear it, and tell me: what boundary protected your peace this year? If the episode moved you, subscribe, leave a review, and pass it on. Your voice helps push this conversation into rooms where it matters most.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:00):
Is this thing on?
Hello, hello.
Uh-oh.
Another yapper with a mic.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to the Napkin Mattain
Podcast.
I am your host, Daijne Jones.
I hope everyone's been having agood week, except for the
(00:21):
Orange Drink Lady.
Of course.
So as you all may know, mybirthday was a couple weeks ago,
and earlier this week I finallygot the photos back for my
birthday.
Like where I had my birthday,had a photographer, and so there
was a photographer there whowas like taking photos and uh
videos, so I got like a cutelittle like two-minute video of
just like my party.
(00:41):
And I am just feeling sograteful to just be surrounded
by so much love.
Like I had a like I threw aparty for my 30th birthday, and
like my family and friends came.
My family flew from Atlanta tocome to my birthday.
And like looking back on allthe photos and the videos and
stuff, like I'm just so gratefulfor my community, both my
(01:04):
online community and my in reallife communities.
Like, I just feel like I'msurrounded by so many good
people, and I love that for mebecause there was a time,
conversation for another day.
I'm not gonna get too into it,but there was a time where I was
surrounded by fucking haters.
And if you've ever beensurrounded by people who
secretly hate you, like I don'tfeel like I need to elaborate
(01:26):
further.
Like, it's like there's alwaysthis like unspoken competition,
or like they always have likethis animosity towards you, and
the worst part of it all, likewhen I was surrounded by people
who low-key hated me, like theywere family, blood related, you
know what I mean?
So it's like knowing that therewas always this like animosity
(01:46):
from them, I'm like, y'all aresupposed to be the closest to
me, you know what I mean?
And I feel like I fought sohard to like prove myself in
those relationships, like, no,like we're cool, like we could
just vibe, you know what I mean?
Because I like again, they weremy family, and so I'm like, I
want to have a relationship withyou, but like at the end of the
day, like you're toxic, and nomatter how hard I try to have
(02:09):
this relationship, it's nevergoing to be what I want it to
be.
And that was like such a hardthing to come to terms with to
know that like I had to eitherstay in those relationships and
realize that they were justalways gonna be tumultuous in
some way, or I could end thoserelationships and not have those
relationships, which is hard,like that sucks because like
(02:31):
you're my sister, you're mybrother, like I would love to
have a relationship with you,but at the end of the day,
you're toxic.
You're toxic, and really theonly reason that we even have a
relationship is because I'mallowing you to cross my
boundaries, I'm allowing you towalk all over me, I'm allowing
you to disrespect me.
And so is this even really arelationship, or is it just like
I don't know what the word is,like you using me, I guess in
(02:56):
some way to benefit yourself.
Like that's not a relationship.
If you're in somebody's lifeand the majority of that
relationship is them just likeusing you or disrespecting you
or whatever, like that's not areal relationship.
And so having to come to termswith that and like cut people
off who I really, really wantedrelationships with was really,
really hard.
However, and I've said thisbefore, when you cut off or add
(03:21):
relationships with people whodon't truly value you, you open
up the door for people who dotruly value you to come into
your life and to have actualreal healthy relationships.
And so looking back at thepictures and the videos from my
party, like I'm just so gratefulthat I have people in my life
who truly value me and trulyrespect me.
And like I had friends whodrove in four hours to come to
(03:42):
my party, some took the train.
Like I said, my family flewfrom Atlanta.
Like, I just love when peopleshow, like, I love having a
community where people show upfor you, you know what I mean?
And like obviously it'sreciprocated, like I would show
up for them as well, and theyknow that.
And I just love that I havejust amazing people in my
corner.
So that's been like really thepeak of my week, is just like
(04:03):
looking back at, you know, myparty and just like again, it's
the end of the year, so I'm likereminiscing and looking back
over the year, and like this istruly one of the best years that
I've had in my life.
Like, I'm chasing my dreamswith content creation.
I have people in my life, likeI can't name one person in my
life right now that I like feellike there's any sort of like
(04:23):
toxicity or negativity in ourrelationship.
Like, all of my relationshipsright now are extremely healthy,
and that's why, like, once youhave a healthy relationship,
it's like this is shit I've beenputting up with in my past.
Like, why would I do myselflike that?
And that's like really where Iam.
Like, if you do not add peaceand just like zero toxicity to
(04:47):
my life, like you you gotta go.
You don't gotta go home, butyou gotta get the fuck out of my
life.
Like, I don't know where you'regoing.
I don't really care, best ofluck to you, but you can't stay
around here because once youhave peace, like it's absolutely
priceless, and you just don't Ithere's just no room for any
sort of like we get one fuckinglife.
One fucking life.
(05:08):
Why the fuck would I spend itaround people who are toxic or
people who don't value me orrespect me?
No more of that, no more ofthat.
So it was just nice to lookback and see like all my friends
and family, and just like Itruly feel like I have the best
relationships and the bestpeople in my life right now, and
uh, it's just so peaceful.
(05:29):
I love it.
We love peace, we love peace.
So that has been the peak of myweek.
Please tell me the peak of yourweek.
Something that made you smile,kept you grounded, kept you sane
in the chaos of the world.
And speaking of peace, actuallysegueing into what we're gonna
talk about today, a person thatI hope is just overwhelmed by
peace for the rest of their lifeis Cassie Ventura.
(05:50):
Cassie fine.
I hope that that woman isexperiencing and living a life
of just so much peace and somuch just like calmness.
And the reason I'm thinkingabout this is because the Diddy
documentary came out, I don'tknow if it was last week or when
it came out, but it came outrecently and I watched it last
week.
(06:10):
And thinking back to the trial,I could not for the life of me
understand how the fuck theyfound that man not guilty.
I was so confused because Ijust felt like there was an
overwhelming amount of evidenceto prove the case, and so I'm
like, how the fuck did this manget off?
(06:30):
Like, obviously, he wasconvicted of some of the
charges, but for like the thebigger charges of like the Rico
charge and things like that,like he was found not guilty.
And I'm like, how?
Like, I just did notunderstand.
But watching that documentaryand hearing from those two
jurors, juror 160 and juror 75,I think the man's juror number
(06:50):
was.
I I understand now, and I feellike I'm disappointed but not
surprised.
Like, I feel like I should haveknew from the beginning why he
got gone off, and it's becausepeople are so fucking
male-centered, and people don'tbelieve victims, unless the
victim is fucking dead, becausethat's the only perfect victim.
(07:12):
People will try to find a wayto blame the victims, and
listening to these two jurorstalk in the documentary, case in
fucking point.
First of all, that woman juror,juror 160, made the back of my
throat itch so fucking much.
(07:32):
Every time she was on my screenwith that damn smirk, my blood
was boiling, boiling.
Because, first of all, I don'teven understand how she was
selected to be on that jury.
That bitch was so fuckingfanned out, so incredibly fanned
(07:55):
out, and you could tell, Idon't know how she was like
recruited for the documentaryand how people reached out to
her to be on the documentary orwhatever.
But you could just tell, evenin the documentary, like her
even being included.
I know that she thought thatshe was like hot shit being
included.
Like, oh my god, yes, they'vereached out to me.
Like, this is my moment, thisis my time to shine.
(08:17):
Unbeknownst to her, the reasonthat she was put in the
documentary is because Diddy, orI'm sorry, not Diddy, 50 Cent
wanted to show how fuckingfanned out this bitch was for
Diddy.
And like, I I just know you canjust tell the way that she was
speaking, the way that she was,it was going right over her
head.
The whole purpose as to why shewas in this documentary.
(08:40):
Like, girl, you are so fannedout.
She was mentioning, like, oh mygod, I'm getting pissed off.
Just like thinking about it.
I feel like I'm screaming.
Let me calm down.
Let's take a deep breath.
Let's all take a deep breathtogether.
Ready?
Okay, what was I saying?
(09:04):
In the documentary, she'smentioning things like the way
Diddy nodded his head in makingthe band 20-some years ago.
And she can remember the wayDiddy would nod his head and the
way like things about him fromthe doc or from the TV show.
And then in the same breath,she turned around and said that
(09:26):
she didn't know if she couldbelieve Capricorn Clark's
testimony.
Because how could she rememberall of those details from so
long ago?
What?
Like, what?
Like, you're you're telling methat you can remember the way
(09:49):
this man nodded his head 20-someyears ago in a TV show.
But this woman recounting whatwas probably the most traumatic
event of her life beingkidnapped?
You're saying that it'sunbelievable that she can
remember that?
I just I genuinely don't havewords because how the fuck does
(10:14):
that make a lick of fuckingsense to you?
How the fuck does that make ohmy god, I'm so I'm getting
irritated just thinking about itbecause bitch, the the only
reason you feel like CapricornClark was lying or you're
questioning her credibility isbecause you're fanned the fuck
out.
(10:35):
It's because you you're in theroom with this fucking mega
celebrity, and you can't youcan't separate yourself.
That's why when people arelike, oh, I still listen to
so-and-so's music because I I'mseparating the art from the
artist.
That's literally in fuckingpossible.
Like you can't separate the artfrom the artist.
(10:55):
Especially, y'all will say shitlike that about people like R.
Kelly, like people who whodefend so listening to R.
Kelly's music.
The first defense was, well,his victims are the royalties
from his songs go to thevictims.
That's not real.
That's not real.
He did have to pay victims umrestitution, but the restitution
(11:17):
was, I think it was like$500,000 or something along
those lines.
So after he reached that paythreshold, now all of that goes
back to him.
So people are like, oh, Ilistened to it because the the
proceeds go to the victims.
Not real.
False, not real.
And a simple Google searchwould tell you that.
But then when people realizethat, like that that's not real,
(11:40):
then their next thing to excusethemselves from use listening
to his music is, oh, well, I'mseparating the art from the
artist.
So explain to me, like I'mfive, how you're able to
separate the art from the artistwhen in some of R.
Kelly's uh songs, he'sliterally talking about his
crimes.
So how are you separating theart from the artist when he's
(12:06):
literally singing about the shitthat he was doing, the fuck up
shit that he was doing, andyou're just be bopping around
listening to it.
You bitches piss me off.
Like you bitches piss me off somuch.
You're so male-centered, youdon't give a fuck about victims,
and you'll whatever excuse thatyou can think of to excuse your
behavior that you know isfucking shitty, that you know is
(12:28):
fucking shitty, you'll use itbecause for some reason that
makes you feel better.
I hate you bitches.
I hate you bitches.
And that woman juror was theexact same way.
She could not separate Diddyfrom his like fame.
She was so fucking fanned out,and she's talking about some.
Oh, I'm not really a fan ofDiddy.
I'm not really a fan.
(12:48):
Bitch, you're talking about howyou remembered the way he
nodded his fucking head, andyou're trying to say that you're
not a fucking fan.
Please don't piss me off.
Please do not piss me off.
And then she's talking aboutsome, yeah, we were making the
same facial expressions at somepoints, and it you could tell
(13:09):
that we were on the same page.
You're not even supposed to belooking in his direction to even
realize that you guys were onthe same page, and also the fact
that you're using your freewill to say with a fucking smirk
on your face that you were onthe same page as a man who was
on trial for sex trafficking,and a man that you had heard
kidnap somebody, you've heardthis person recount the story of
(13:33):
them being kidnapped by thisman, and you're proud of the
fact that you felt like you wereon the same page as him.
You bitches make my throatitch.
You make my throat itch becausewhat the fuck are you talking
about?
Mind you, y'all were on thesame page because he was
(13:55):
manipulating you.
He was manipulating you, whichis why the judge threatened to
remove him from the courtroom ifhe would not stop trying to
interact with the jury, becausewhat he was doing was
manipulating you.
And then you're like, then thebitch is like, oh, I don't think
he was interacting with thejury.
Mind you, you're talking abouthow y'all were on the same page
(14:18):
and y'all were having the samevisual expressions.
But yeah, he's not trying tointeract with you.
But he's looking over at y'alland like nodding, and this is
from your own recount, by theway.
Her own fucking mouth, if noone has watched, if you haven't
watched the documentary.
She talks about how there weretimes when Diddy would be
nodding his head, or he wouldlike, if somebody said something
in court that didn't makesense, he would kind of like
make this face at the jury,like, uh, are are we all here
(14:41):
the same thing?
So, yes, bitch, that is himinteracting with you, but you
can't fucking see that becauseyou have on these fucking
glasses, or you're so fuckingfanned out that you cannot
separate the fact you can'tseparate this man from his fame
and realize that he is a fuckingdemon reincarcerated.
Like, oh my god.
(15:04):
And then the man, the malejuror, I think juror 75, I
think, proudest fucking memberof the misogynist and victim
blamers club that I have everseen in my entire life.
All this man said, you couldneither one of them were
unbiased.
The woman wasn't unbiasedbecause she was fan the fuck
out, and the man wasn't unbiasedbecause he was a raging fucking
(15:26):
misogynist.
Like, what like what are wetalking about?
He's sitting up there talkingabout some well, Cassie wanted
the life of fame, so you knowthat this is what comes with the
life of fame.
Can we be fucking for real?
Can we be fucking for real?
Like, blaming Cassie, who was19 and fairly new to the music
(15:47):
industry, when she met Diddy,who was 37 and not at all new to
the music industry, for Diddyabusing her and grooming her and
purposely making it so that hecontrolled every aspect of her
life because not only were theyin a romantic relationship, but
(16:08):
he was technically her boss.
She was signed to his label andsigned a 10 album contract.
A 10 album contract.
Let's look.
I I did this before and I can'tremember the number, so I'm
just gonna look really quick.
But let's see how many albumsBeyonce has released in the last
(16:30):
10 years.
And I I'm just using Beyonce,but we all know Beyonce, like
her work ethic is unlike anyperson I've ever seen.
So let's say, okay, so firstalbum from Beyonce, 2003
Dangerously in Love.
2003 to 2019 marks the span ofBeyonce releasing 10 albums.
(16:52):
2003 to 2019, that is 16 years.
In 16 years, Beyonce released10 albums.
Diddy knew exactly what he wasdoing when he had Cassie sign
that contract.
He knew exactly what he wasdoing.
(17:13):
He knew that if he controlledevery aspect of her life from
the romantic to theprofessional, she's she's under
his control.
What can she do?
Genuinely.
And I think people don'tunderstand.
It's hard enough to leave arelationship that is abusive and
that you're being likemanipulated in when all it is is
(17:34):
just romantic connection,right?
But think about on top of theromantic connection, now that
that person controls everyaspect of your career, and not
only that, he was huge in themusic industry for whatever
fucking reason.
I honestly looking back, I saidthis the other day, watching
the people talk about howuntalented Diddy was in the
(17:54):
documentary, like it neverreally clicked to me because I
never really paid much attentionto Diddy.
But now looking back, like Ican only name one song off the
top of my head of like thatDiddy's on, and it's I'll be
missing you, right?
And the only parts of that songthat I really enjoy are the
chorus and the bridge, the partswhere Diddy's not a part of the
song.
And so I I don't understand howhe got so big because even like
(18:18):
in the documentary, the peoplewere talking about how he was
just sitting around and he wouldhave them listening to other
people's things, and then hewould just do what other people
were doing.
Like, it's not like he wasinnovative in any way.
Like, I don't understand how heeven got to be as big as he as
he was, but he was huge.
So imagine if Cassie had triedto get out of the the contract
(18:40):
or the professional side of theof their relationship.
He absolutely had the the powerto blackball her in the
industry, and all this womanwanted, this teenager at the
time wanted was to to to singand to dance and to whatever.
(19:00):
Like, you know what I'm saying?
So it's like he controlledevery aspect of her life from
her emotions to her professionalcareer, and he did that on
purpose.
You'll never convince me thathe did not know exactly what the
fuck he was doing.
And so for people to be like,like for this juror to be like,
oh, well, that's the life thatshe wanted, so that's what she
(19:22):
has to deal with.
That's fucking crazy.
But then on top of that, he'slike, Well, why didn't she just
leave?
So let's think about whathappened when Cassie did try to
leave.
Because there's literal videoevidence, video evidence of her
trying to leave, and this manchased her down in a towel and
(19:45):
drug her back by her hair.
Not only that, Capricorn Clarkhad just testified about Cassie
being with Kid Cuddy and herbeing kidnapped, Capricorn Clark
being.
Kidnapped and Diddy tellingher, I'm you're not going
anywhere until I find Cassieuntil until we get Cassie.
(20:07):
Like there was also anotherincidence where he had like
people jump out of a moving carto chase her down and drag her
back when Cassie tried to leave.
So for people to ask, Oh, whydidn't she just leave?
Why didn't she do anything?
It's fucking preposterous.
You guys have to be so fuckingfor real.
(20:28):
Jesus, be a critical thought, Ibeg.
I beg.
Like, what are we talkingabout?
Like, it does not take a rocketscientist to be able to put all
of these pieces together.
Especially when they're like,oh, we can't believe Capricorn
Clark.
Like, we don't know.
Okay.
You don't want to believe her,but you also don't believe your
(20:49):
fucking eyes.
Because again, there's videofootage of what happened when
Cassie tried to leave.
So what like genuinely, whatare we talking about?
Please be so fucking for real.
But the the problem is peopleare so fucking male-centered,
and people want to figure out away to try to blame the victim
rather than blaming the man whoperpetuated this system and this
(21:15):
environment of just violenceand turmoil and chaos.
No matter who it is, peoplewill always try to find a way to
blame the victims.
And it is the most disgustingthing because people want this
perfect victim.
There is no perfect victim.
The only time that peoplereally see a perfect victim is
if the victim is dead.
(21:36):
And it's so it is so fucked up.
It's so fucked up.
It's like no matter how aperson tries to come forward
with their story of abuse,people are always gonna try and
find a problem with it.
Well, why didn't she leave?
Well, why didn't she speak upsooner?
Well, why didn't she this?
Why didn't she that?
(21:56):
How about why didn't this manfucking abuse her?
How about instead of trying tohold the victim accountable for
the abuser's behavior, we blamethe abuser?
Crazy fucking concept.
And I wish that I know that Idon't think that this can happen
because of double jeopardy andnot being allowed to try a
(22:17):
person for the same crime twice,but I think it's quite obvious
that these jurors did not gointo this case with an unbiased
mindset.
They're very, very biased,either fan the fuck out or just
victim blamers.
Like both, they're justmale-centered at the end of the
day.
And like that's it's notsurprising because that is a
(22:40):
society that we live in.
We live in a patriarchy, andpeople are always making excuses
and trying to excuse theactions of men, but it's like
fuck.
I just don't understand how youcan see something with your own
fucking eyes and just notbelieve your eyes.
Like, even if I I think thatit's super fucked up to say that
Capricorn Clark was tooemotional, or how did she
(23:01):
remember all of those details?
Like, that's basic trauma.
Like, it's not a far-fetchedscenario for someone to be
emotional or to remember detailswhen recounting something that
was extremely traumatic forthem.
That's that's a normal responseto a traumatic event, and like
responses to traumatic eventsalso manifest in several
(23:22):
different ways.
Like for some people, yourbrain might block out the
traumatic experience completely,and then you might like as time
goes on, you might be startingto remember like things that
happen.
And so sometimes when thathappens, people will be like,
Oh, well, why is her storychanging?
Why is this, why is that?
Because it was a traumaticexperience, and people don't
process those traumaticexperiences all the same way.
(23:45):
Like, my response to atraumatic experience might be
completely different fromsomeone else's response, and
that's normal, that's okay.
But I think people don'tunderstand or realize that,
like, that's a thing thathappens, and so they they view
the that person's traumaticresponse through their own lens,
which is what it's problematic.
(24:06):
Like, you can't do that.
Everyone processes a traumaticexperience differently, and just
because someone's response isdifferent doesn't mean that
they're somehow wrong or there'ssomething wrong with their
response.
Like, that's just how the worldworks, and it's so unfortunate.
I think not understandingtrauma and how it can manifest
(24:27):
and people can process it, alongwith Diddy being famous or a
celebrity or whatever.
I think this case was fuckedfrom the beginning, and I hate
that because victims deservejustice, they deserve to be
believed, they deserve for theirabusers to be held accountable,
and this is why this cyclekeeps repeating.
(24:47):
People are like, oh, well, whydon't victims come forward?
Why don't they share theirstories?
Because look, look what happenswhen they do, they're
immediately picked apart.
People are immediately like,how can we blame the victim?
How can we make this theirfault?
How can we excuse this man'sproblematic behavior?
And then it's just a viciouscycle that continues.
People blame the victim.
Why didn't the victim come out?
(25:08):
Other people see that.
Other people who might havestories see that.
Now they're afraid to come out.
Eventually they wake up thecourage, they come out.
People start to pick themapart, they're blamed, and the
victim, they hold the victimmore accountable than the
abuser.
And then it's again, why didn'tthe victim come out?
It's a this vicious fuckingcycle, and it's so disgusting
(25:29):
and so disturbing.
And I just I was hopeful.
I really was because I feltlike there was so much evidence
that incriminated him, but I'mI'm not at all surprised that he
wasn't held accountable in theway that I feel like he should
have.
Like he again, he was foundguilty for the smaller charges,
but for the bigger charges, hewas found not guilty.
(25:50):
And now I think with thisdocumentary, we all have a
better understanding as to why.
Because we had fanned outbitches on the jury, we had
misogynistic victim blamers onthe jury, and I wish I could hug
every victim individually andjust let them know, like it's
not you, it's the system.
And this whole system, it likeI don't even think we can reform
(26:12):
it at this point.
It needs to be torn downcompletely and just rebuilt from
the bottom up.
Because I just don't understandhow things like this can keep
happening.
Abusers just continue to getaway, and then people are like,
Well, why didn't she speak?
Why didn't she come forward?
Hello.
Like, because y'all don'tcreate safe environments for
victims to speak.
(26:32):
The the speed at which peoplego to defend abusers is
absolutely fucking crazy.
Like, and y'all don't see howfucking weird that is.
Like, holy shit, it's sofucking weird.
But to every person who has astory who has been a victim at
(26:53):
some point, I want you to knowhow strong you are.
It's not you, it is not yourfault, it's not your fault for
it happening to you, it's notyour fault for the the system
that we live in that willimmediately try to blame you.
And I just hope that youexperience so much peace, so
much peace, and never stopspeaking up for yourself, never
stop advocating for yourself.
And I I truly hope that one daywe will have a system that
(27:17):
holds people accountable,regardless of of if they have
celebrity status, whoever thefuck they are, it does not
matter.
Abusers need to be heldaccountable.
And for the sick anddisgusting, male-centered and
victim-blaming people who justspend so much time trying to
figure out how you can blame avictim for their abuse.
(27:38):
I hope that you know howfucking disgusting you are.
Like, I hope that you neverknow peace, actually.
Like, that's so like you arethe worst type of person to try
and figure out a way to blame avictim for their abuse rather
than holding the abuseraccountable.
You are the worst type ofperson.
And I wish nothing but theabsolute worst for you.
I hope that you uh never sleepwell, and I hope your pillow is
(28:00):
warm on both fucking sides.
I hope you stub your toe onevery corner you come across.
I hope you get a fuckinghangnail on every fucking nail
that you have.
I hope that you burn yourtongue on soup every time you go
and try to eat it.
Like, I just hope the absoluteworst for you.
And I just hope that one dayyou'll wake up and realize how
fucked up you are and howdisgusting it is to blame a
(28:22):
victim for their abuse ratherthan holding the abuser
accountable.
I actually hate you, bitches.
And a big fuck you to everyoneand anyone who's your first
thought is to blame the victimwhen you are presented with
literal fucking evidence of aperson being abused.
Like you're disgusting, and Iactually fucking hate you.
(28:42):
Hope that helps.
Thank you guys so much fortuning against today's episode.
I hope everyone has a goodweek, except for that orange
lady and people who blamevictims and people who are
male-centered and fanned out assbitches.
And I will talk to you in thenext episode.
Peace and love.
Talk to you later.
The napkin in between, hostedby Daijne Jones, produced by
Daijne Jones, post production byDaijne Jones, music by Sam
(29:04):
Champagne, and graphics by IsmaVidal.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe.
See you next episode.
Is this thing on?
Hello, hello.
Uh-oh.
Another yapper with a mic.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to the Napkin Mattain
Podcast.
I am your host, Daijne Jones.
I hope everyone's been having agood week, except for the
(00:21):
Orange Drink Lady.
Of course.
So as you all may know, mybirthday was a couple weeks ago,
and earlier this week I finallygot the photos back for my
birthday.
Like where I had my birthday,had a photographer, and so there
was a photographer there whowas like taking photos and uh
videos, so I got like a cutelittle like two-minute video of
just like my party.
(00:41):
And I am just feeling sograteful to just be surrounded
by so much love.
Like I had a like I threw aparty for my 30th birthday, and
like my family and friends came.
My family flew from Atlanta tocome to my birthday.
And like looking back on allthe photos and the videos and
stuff, like I'm just so gratefulfor my community, both my
(01:04):
online community and my in reallife communities.
Like, I just feel like I'msurrounded by so many good
people, and I love that for mebecause there was a time,
conversation for another day.
I'm not gonna get too into it,but there was a time where I was
surrounded by fucking haters.
And if you've ever beensurrounded by people who
secretly hate you, like I don'tfeel like I need to elaborate
(01:26):
further.
Like, it's like there's alwaysthis like unspoken competition,
or like they always have likethis animosity towards you, and
the worst part of it all, likewhen I was surrounded by people
who low-key hated me, like theywere family, blood related, you
know what I mean?
So it's like knowing that therewas always this like animosity
(01:46):
from them, I'm like, y'all aresupposed to be the closest to
me, you know what I mean?
And I feel like I fought sohard to like prove myself in
those relationships, like, no,like we're cool, like we could
just vibe, you know what I mean?
Because I like again, they weremy family, and so I'm like, I
want to have a relationship withyou, but like at the end of the
day, like you're toxic, and nomatter how hard I try to have
(02:09):
this relationship, it's nevergoing to be what I want it to
be.
And that was like such a hardthing to come to terms with to
know that like I had to eitherstay in those relationships and
realize that they were justalways gonna be tumultuous in
some way, or I could end thoserelationships and not have those
relationships, which is hard,like that sucks because like
(02:31):
you're my sister, you're mybrother, like I would love to
have a relationship with you,but at the end of the day,
you're toxic.
You're toxic, and really theonly reason that we even have a
relationship is because I'mallowing you to cross my
boundaries, I'm allowing you towalk all over me, I'm allowing
you to disrespect me.
And so is this even really arelationship, or is it just like
I don't know what the word is,like you using me, I guess in
(02:56):
some way to benefit yourself.
Like that's not a relationship.
If you're in somebody's lifeand the majority of that
relationship is them just likeusing you or disrespecting you
or whatever, like that's not areal relationship.
And so having to come to termswith that and like cut people
off who I really, really wantedrelationships with was really,
really hard.
However, and I've said thisbefore, when you cut off or add
(03:21):
relationships with people whodon't truly value you, you open
up the door for people who dotruly value you to come into
your life and to have actualreal healthy relationships.
And so looking back at thepictures and the videos from my
party, like I'm just so gratefulthat I have people in my life
who truly value me and trulyrespect me.
And like I had friends whodrove in four hours to come to
(03:42):
my party, some took the train.
Like I said, my family flewfrom Atlanta.
Like, I just love when peopleshow, like, I love having a
community where people show upfor you, you know what I mean?
And like obviously it'sreciprocated, like I would show
up for them as well, and theyknow that.
And I just love that I havejust amazing people in my
corner.
So that's been like really thepeak of my week, is just like
(04:03):
looking back at, you know, myparty and just like again, it's
the end of the year, so I'm likereminiscing and looking back
over the year, and like this istruly one of the best years that
I've had in my life.
Like, I'm chasing my dreamswith content creation.
I have people in my life, likeI can't name one person in my
life right now that I like feellike there's any sort of like
(04:23):
toxicity or negativity in ourrelationship.
Like, all of my relationshipsright now are extremely healthy,
and that's why, like, once youhave a healthy relationship,
it's like this is shit I've beenputting up with in my past.
Like, why would I do myselflike that?
And that's like really where Iam.
Like, if you do not add peaceand just like zero toxicity to
(04:47):
my life, like you you gotta go.
You don't gotta go home, butyou gotta get the fuck out of my
life.
Like, I don't know where you'regoing.
I don't really care, best ofluck to you, but you can't stay
around here because once youhave peace, like it's absolutely
priceless, and you just don't Ithere's just no room for any
sort of like we get one fuckinglife.
One fucking life.
(05:08):
Why the fuck would I spend itaround people who are toxic or
people who don't value me orrespect me?
No more of that, no more ofthat.
So it was just nice to lookback and see like all my friends
and family, and just like Itruly feel like I have the best
relationships and the bestpeople in my life right now, and
uh, it's just so peaceful.
(05:29):
I love it.
We love peace, we love peace.
So that has been the peak of myweek.
Please tell me the peak of yourweek.
Something that made you smile,kept you grounded, kept you sane
in the chaos of the world.
And speaking of peace, actuallysegueing into what we're gonna
talk about today, a person thatI hope is just overwhelmed by
peace for the rest of their lifeis Cassie Ventura.
(05:50):
Cassie fine.
I hope that that woman isexperiencing and living a life
of just so much peace and somuch just like calmness.
And the reason I'm thinkingabout this is because the Diddy
documentary came out, I don'tknow if it was last week or when
it came out, but it came outrecently and I watched it last
week.
(06:10):
And thinking back to the trial,I could not for the life of me
understand how the fuck theyfound that man not guilty.
I was so confused because Ijust felt like there was an
overwhelming amount of evidenceto prove the case, and so I'm
like, how the fuck did this manget off?
(06:30):
Like, obviously, he wasconvicted of some of the
charges, but for like the thebigger charges of like the Rico
charge and things like that,like he was found not guilty.
And I'm like, how?
Like, I just did notunderstand.
But watching that documentaryand hearing from those two
jurors, juror 160 and juror 75,I think the man's juror number
(06:50):
was.
I I understand now, and I feellike I'm disappointed but not
surprised.
Like, I feel like I should haveknew from the beginning why he
got gone off, and it's becausepeople are so fucking
male-centered, and people don'tbelieve victims, unless the
victim is fucking dead, becausethat's the only perfect victim.
(07:12):
People will try to find a wayto blame the victims, and
listening to these two jurorstalk in the documentary, case in
fucking point.
First of all, that woman juror,juror 160, made the back of my
throat itch so fucking much.
(07:32):
Every time she was on my screenwith that damn smirk, my blood
was boiling, boiling.
Because, first of all, I don'teven understand how she was
selected to be on that jury.
That bitch was so fuckingfanned out, so incredibly fanned
(07:55):
out, and you could tell, Idon't know how she was like
recruited for the documentaryand how people reached out to
her to be on the documentary orwhatever.
But you could just tell, evenin the documentary, like her
even being included.
I know that she thought thatshe was like hot shit being
included.
Like, oh my god, yes, they'vereached out to me.
Like, this is my moment, thisis my time to shine.
(08:17):
Unbeknownst to her, the reasonthat she was put in the
documentary is because Diddy, orI'm sorry, not Diddy, 50 Cent
wanted to show how fuckingfanned out this bitch was for
Diddy.
And like, I I just know you canjust tell the way that she was
speaking, the way that she was,it was going right over her
head.
The whole purpose as to why shewas in this documentary.
(08:40):
Like, girl, you are so fannedout.
She was mentioning, like, oh mygod, I'm getting pissed off.
Just like thinking about it.
I feel like I'm screaming.
Let me calm down.
Let's take a deep breath.
Let's all take a deep breathtogether.
Ready?
Okay, what was I saying?
(09:04):
In the documentary, she'smentioning things like the way
Diddy nodded his head in makingthe band 20-some years ago.
And she can remember the wayDiddy would nod his head and the
way like things about him fromthe doc or from the TV show.
And then in the same breath,she turned around and said that
(09:26):
she didn't know if she couldbelieve Capricorn Clark's
testimony.
Because how could she rememberall of those details from so
long ago?
What?
Like, what?
Like, you're you're telling methat you can remember the way
(09:49):
this man nodded his head 20-someyears ago in a TV show.
But this woman recounting whatwas probably the most traumatic
event of her life beingkidnapped?
You're saying that it'sunbelievable that she can
remember that?
I just I genuinely don't havewords because how the fuck does
(10:14):
that make a lick of fuckingsense to you?
How the fuck does that make ohmy god, I'm so I'm getting
irritated just thinking about itbecause bitch, the the only
reason you feel like CapricornClark was lying or you're
questioning her credibility isbecause you're fanned the fuck
out.
(10:35):
It's because you you're in theroom with this fucking mega
celebrity, and you can't youcan't separate yourself.
That's why when people arelike, oh, I still listen to
so-and-so's music because I I'mseparating the art from the
artist.
That's literally in fuckingpossible.
Like you can't separate the artfrom the artist.
(10:55):
Especially, y'all will say shitlike that about people like R.
Kelly, like people who whodefend so listening to R.
Kelly's music.
The first defense was, well,his victims are the royalties
from his songs go to thevictims.
That's not real.
That's not real.
He did have to pay victims umrestitution, but the restitution
(11:17):
was, I think it was like$500,000 or something along
those lines.
So after he reached that paythreshold, now all of that goes
back to him.
So people are like, oh, Ilistened to it because the the
proceeds go to the victims.
Not real.
False, not real.
And a simple Google searchwould tell you that.
But then when people realizethat, like that that's not real,
(11:40):
then their next thing to excusethemselves from use listening
to his music is, oh, well, I'mseparating the art from the
artist.
So explain to me, like I'mfive, how you're able to
separate the art from the artistwhen in some of R.
Kelly's uh songs, he'sliterally talking about his
crimes.
So how are you separating theart from the artist when he's
(12:06):
literally singing about the shitthat he was doing, the fuck up
shit that he was doing, andyou're just be bopping around
listening to it.
You bitches piss me off.
Like you bitches piss me off somuch.
You're so male-centered, youdon't give a fuck about victims,
and you'll whatever excuse thatyou can think of to excuse your
behavior that you know isfucking shitty, that you know is
(12:28):
fucking shitty, you'll use itbecause for some reason that
makes you feel better.
I hate you bitches.
I hate you bitches.
And that woman juror was theexact same way.
She could not separate Diddyfrom his like fame.
She was so fucking fanned out,and she's talking about some.
Oh, I'm not really a fan ofDiddy.
I'm not really a fan.
(12:48):
Bitch, you're talking about howyou remembered the way he
nodded his fucking head, andyou're trying to say that you're
not a fucking fan.
Please don't piss me off.
Please do not piss me off.
And then she's talking aboutsome, yeah, we were making the
same facial expressions at somepoints, and it you could tell
(13:09):
that we were on the same page.
You're not even supposed to belooking in his direction to even
realize that you guys were onthe same page, and also the fact
that you're using your freewill to say with a fucking smirk
on your face that you were onthe same page as a man who was
on trial for sex trafficking,and a man that you had heard
kidnap somebody, you've heardthis person recount the story of
(13:33):
them being kidnapped by thisman, and you're proud of the
fact that you felt like you wereon the same page as him.
You bitches make my throatitch.
You make my throat itch becausewhat the fuck are you talking
about?
Mind you, y'all were on thesame page because he was
(13:55):
manipulating you.
He was manipulating you, whichis why the judge threatened to
remove him from the courtroom ifhe would not stop trying to
interact with the jury, becausewhat he was doing was
manipulating you.
And then you're like, then thebitch is like, oh, I don't think
he was interacting with thejury.
Mind you, you're talking abouthow y'all were on the same page
(14:18):
and y'all were having the samevisual expressions.
But yeah, he's not trying tointeract with you.
But he's looking over at y'alland like nodding, and this is
from your own recount, by theway.
Her own fucking mouth, if noone has watched, if you haven't
watched the documentary.
She talks about how there weretimes when Diddy would be
nodding his head, or he wouldlike, if somebody said something
in court that didn't makesense, he would kind of like
make this face at the jury,like, uh, are are we all here
(14:41):
the same thing?
So, yes, bitch, that is himinteracting with you, but you
can't fucking see that becauseyou have on these fucking
glasses, or you're so fuckingfanned out that you cannot
separate the fact you can'tseparate this man from his fame
and realize that he is a fuckingdemon reincarcerated.
Like, oh my god.
(15:04):
And then the man, the malejuror, I think juror 75, I
think, proudest fucking memberof the misogynist and victim
blamers club that I have everseen in my entire life.
All this man said, you couldneither one of them were
unbiased.
The woman wasn't unbiasedbecause she was fan the fuck
out, and the man wasn't unbiasedbecause he was a raging fucking
(15:26):
misogynist.
Like, what like what are wetalking about?
He's sitting up there talkingabout some well, Cassie wanted
the life of fame, so you knowthat this is what comes with the
life of fame.
Can we be fucking for real?
Can we be fucking for real?
Like, blaming Cassie, who was19 and fairly new to the music
(15:47):
industry, when she met Diddy,who was 37 and not at all new to
the music industry, for Diddyabusing her and grooming her and
purposely making it so that hecontrolled every aspect of her
life because not only were theyin a romantic relationship, but
(16:08):
he was technically her boss.
She was signed to his label andsigned a 10 album contract.
A 10 album contract.
Let's look.
I I did this before and I can'tremember the number, so I'm
just gonna look really quick.
But let's see how many albumsBeyonce has released in the last
(16:30):
10 years.
And I I'm just using Beyonce,but we all know Beyonce, like
her work ethic is unlike anyperson I've ever seen.
So let's say, okay, so firstalbum from Beyonce, 2003
Dangerously in Love.
2003 to 2019 marks the span ofBeyonce releasing 10 albums.
(16:52):
2003 to 2019, that is 16 years.
In 16 years, Beyonce released10 albums.
Diddy knew exactly what he wasdoing when he had Cassie sign
that contract.
He knew exactly what he wasdoing.
(17:13):
He knew that if he controlledevery aspect of her life from
the romantic to theprofessional, she's she's under
his control.
What can she do?
Genuinely.
And I think people don'tunderstand.
It's hard enough to leave arelationship that is abusive and
that you're being likemanipulated in when all it is is
(17:34):
just romantic connection,right?
But think about on top of theromantic connection, now that
that person controls everyaspect of your career, and not
only that, he was huge in themusic industry for whatever
fucking reason.
I honestly looking back, I saidthis the other day, watching
the people talk about howuntalented Diddy was in the
(17:54):
documentary, like it neverreally clicked to me because I
never really paid much attentionto Diddy.
But now looking back, like Ican only name one song off the
top of my head of like thatDiddy's on, and it's I'll be
missing you, right?
And the only parts of that songthat I really enjoy are the
chorus and the bridge, the partswhere Diddy's not a part of the
song.
And so I I don't understand howhe got so big because even like
(18:18):
in the documentary, the peoplewere talking about how he was
just sitting around and he wouldhave them listening to other
people's things, and then hewould just do what other people
were doing.
Like, it's not like he wasinnovative in any way.
Like, I don't understand how heeven got to be as big as he as
he was, but he was huge.
So imagine if Cassie had triedto get out of the the contract
(18:40):
or the professional side of theof their relationship.
He absolutely had the the powerto blackball her in the
industry, and all this womanwanted, this teenager at the
time wanted was to to to singand to dance and to whatever.
(19:00):
Like, you know what I'm saying?
So it's like he controlledevery aspect of her life from
her emotions to her professionalcareer, and he did that on
purpose.
You'll never convince me thathe did not know exactly what the
fuck he was doing.
And so for people to be like,like for this juror to be like,
oh, well, that's the life thatshe wanted, so that's what she
(19:22):
has to deal with.
That's fucking crazy.
But then on top of that, he'slike, Well, why didn't she just
leave?
So let's think about whathappened when Cassie did try to
leave.
Because there's literal videoevidence, video evidence of her
trying to leave, and this manchased her down in a towel and
(19:45):
drug her back by her hair.
Not only that, Capricorn Clarkhad just testified about Cassie
being with Kid Cuddy and herbeing kidnapped, Capricorn Clark
being.
Kidnapped and Diddy tellingher, I'm you're not going
anywhere until I find Cassieuntil until we get Cassie.
(20:07):
Like there was also anotherincidence where he had like
people jump out of a moving carto chase her down and drag her
back when Cassie tried to leave.
So for people to ask, Oh, whydidn't she just leave?
Why didn't she do anything?
It's fucking preposterous.
You guys have to be so fuckingfor real.
(20:28):
Jesus, be a critical thought, Ibeg.
I beg.
Like, what are we talkingabout?
Like, it does not take a rocketscientist to be able to put all
of these pieces together.
Especially when they're like,oh, we can't believe Capricorn
Clark.
Like, we don't know.
Okay.
You don't want to believe her,but you also don't believe your
(20:49):
fucking eyes.
Because again, there's videofootage of what happened when
Cassie tried to leave.
So what like genuinely, whatare we talking about?
Please be so fucking for real.
But the the problem is peopleare so fucking male-centered,
and people want to figure out away to try to blame the victim
rather than blaming the man whoperpetuated this system and this
(21:15):
environment of just violenceand turmoil and chaos.
No matter who it is, peoplewill always try to find a way to
blame the victims.
And it is the most disgustingthing because people want this
perfect victim.
There is no perfect victim.
The only time that peoplereally see a perfect victim is
if the victim is dead.
(21:36):
And it's so it is so fucked up.
It's so fucked up.
It's like no matter how aperson tries to come forward
with their story of abuse,people are always gonna try and
find a problem with it.
Well, why didn't she leave?
Well, why didn't she speak upsooner?
Well, why didn't she this?
Why didn't she that?
(21:56):
How about why didn't this manfucking abuse her?
How about instead of trying tohold the victim accountable for
the abuser's behavior, we blamethe abuser?
Crazy fucking concept.
And I wish that I know that Idon't think that this can happen
because of double jeopardy andnot being allowed to try a
(22:17):
person for the same crime twice,but I think it's quite obvious
that these jurors did not gointo this case with an unbiased
mindset.
They're very, very biased,either fan the fuck out or just
victim blamers.
Like both, they're justmale-centered at the end of the
day.
And like that's it's notsurprising because that is a
(22:40):
society that we live in.
We live in a patriarchy, andpeople are always making excuses
and trying to excuse theactions of men, but it's like
fuck.
I just don't understand how youcan see something with your own
fucking eyes and just notbelieve your eyes.
Like, even if I I think thatit's super fucked up to say that
Capricorn Clark was tooemotional, or how did she
(23:01):
remember all of those details?
Like, that's basic trauma.
Like, it's not a far-fetchedscenario for someone to be
emotional or to remember detailswhen recounting something that
was extremely traumatic forthem.
That's that's a normal responseto a traumatic event, and like
responses to traumatic eventsalso manifest in several
(23:22):
different ways.
Like for some people, yourbrain might block out the
traumatic experience completely,and then you might like as time
goes on, you might be startingto remember like things that
happen.
And so sometimes when thathappens, people will be like,
Oh, well, why is her storychanging?
Why is this, why is that?
Because it was a traumaticexperience, and people don't
process those traumaticexperiences all the same way.
(23:45):
Like, my response to atraumatic experience might be
completely different fromsomeone else's response, and
that's normal, that's okay.
But I think people don'tunderstand or realize that,
like, that's a thing thathappens, and so they they view
the that person's traumaticresponse through their own lens,
which is what it's problematic.
(24:06):
Like, you can't do that.
Everyone processes a traumaticexperience differently, and just
because someone's response isdifferent doesn't mean that
they're somehow wrong or there'ssomething wrong with their
response.
Like, that's just how the worldworks, and it's so unfortunate.
I think not understandingtrauma and how it can manifest
(24:27):
and people can process it, alongwith Diddy being famous or a
celebrity or whatever.
I think this case was fuckedfrom the beginning, and I hate
that because victims deservejustice, they deserve to be
believed, they deserve for theirabusers to be held accountable,
and this is why this cyclekeeps repeating.
(24:47):
People are like, oh, well, whydon't victims come forward?
Why don't they share theirstories?
Because look, look what happenswhen they do, they're
immediately picked apart.
People are immediately like,how can we blame the victim?
How can we make this theirfault?
How can we excuse this man'sproblematic behavior?
And then it's just a viciouscycle that continues.
People blame the victim.
Why didn't the victim come out?
(25:08):
Other people see that.
Other people who might havestories see that.
Now they're afraid to come out.
Eventually they wake up thecourage, they come out.
People start to pick themapart, they're blamed, and the
victim, they hold the victimmore accountable than the
abuser.
And then it's again, why didn'tthe victim come out?
It's a this vicious fuckingcycle, and it's so disgusting
(25:29):
and so disturbing.
And I just I was hopeful.
I really was because I feltlike there was so much evidence
that incriminated him, but I'mI'm not at all surprised that he
wasn't held accountable in theway that I feel like he should
have.
Like he again, he was foundguilty for the smaller charges,
but for the bigger charges, hewas found not guilty.
(25:50):
And now I think with thisdocumentary, we all have a
better understanding as to why.
Because we had fanned outbitches on the jury, we had
misogynistic victim blamers onthe jury, and I wish I could hug
every victim individually andjust let them know, like it's
not you, it's the system.
And this whole system, it likeI don't even think we can reform
(26:12):
it at this point.
It needs to be torn downcompletely and just rebuilt from
the bottom up.
Because I just don't understandhow things like this can keep
happening.
Abusers just continue to getaway, and then people are like,
Well, why didn't she speak?
Why didn't she come forward?
Hello.
Like, because y'all don'tcreate safe environments for
victims to speak.
(26:32):
The the speed at which peoplego to defend abusers is
absolutely fucking crazy.
Like, and y'all don't see howfucking weird that is.
Like, holy shit, it's sofucking weird.
But to every person who has astory who has been a victim at
(26:53):
some point, I want you to knowhow strong you are.
It's not you, it is not yourfault, it's not your fault for
it happening to you, it's notyour fault for the the system
that we live in that willimmediately try to blame you.
And I just hope that youexperience so much peace, so
much peace, and never stopspeaking up for yourself, never
stop advocating for yourself.
And I I truly hope that one daywe will have a system that
(27:17):
holds people accountable,regardless of of if they have
celebrity status, whoever thefuck they are, it does not
matter.
Abusers need to be heldaccountable.
And for the sick anddisgusting, male-centered and
victim-blaming people who justspend so much time trying to
figure out how you can blame avictim for their abuse.
(27:38):
I hope that you know howfucking disgusting you are.
Like, I hope that you neverknow peace, actually.
Like, that's so like you arethe worst type of person to try
and figure out a way to blame avictim for their abuse rather
than holding the abuseraccountable.
You are the worst type ofperson.
And I wish nothing but theabsolute worst for you.
I hope that you uh never sleepwell, and I hope your pillow is
(28:00):
warm on both fucking sides.
I hope you stub your toe onevery corner you come across.
I hope you get a fuckinghangnail on every fucking nail
that you have.
I hope that you burn yourtongue on soup every time you go
and try to eat it.
Like, I just hope the absoluteworst for you.
And I just hope that one dayyou'll wake up and realize how
fucked up you are and howdisgusting it is to blame a
(28:22):
victim for their abuse ratherthan holding the abuser
accountable.
I actually hate you, bitches.
And a big fuck you to everyoneand anyone who's your first
thought is to blame the victimwhen you are presented with
literal fucking evidence of aperson being abused.
Like you're disgusting, and Iactually fucking hate you.
(28:42):
Hope that helps.
Thank you guys so much fortuning against today's episode.
I hope everyone has a goodweek, except for that orange
lady and people who blamevictims and people who are
male-centered and fanned out assbitches.
And I will talk to you in thenext episode.
Peace and love.
Talk to you later.
The napkin in between, hostedby Daijne Jones, produced by
Daijne Jones, post production byDaijne Jones, music by Sam
(29:04):
Champagne, and graphics by IsmaVidal.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe.
See you next episode.
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