The Narcissism Decoder

In this episode of The Narcissism Decoder, I share a compelling clip from my conversation with Dr. Kerry, host of Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse. We explore the complex dynamics between narcissistic mothers and their children — is it parasitic, or a painful kind of symbiosis? Dive into the psychodynamic insights behind emotional fusion, people-pleasing, and why breaking free from these relationships can feel so destabilizing...

In this episode, we continue our conversation with Olivia Atkin as we explore what happens when a family member begins showing narcissistic traits — or even starts dividing the family. Together, we unpack how to recognize these patterns and how to engage someone like this. I share practical strategies to stay grounded, listen with empathy, avoid taking control, resist insisting on your reality, and find your own voice without getti...

In this episode, we explore how childhood shame, bullying, and emotional neglect can quietly lay the groundwork for narcissism. Through a heartfelt exchange with Olivia Atkin — who shares a powerful personal story about growing up with a medical diagnosis and being bullied — we unpack how these early wounds shape self-esteem, fuel the need for narcissistic supplies, and lead some people to protect themselves through narcissistic de...

In this episode, we continue our conversation with Deborah from Healing from Toxic Abuse to explore one of the most confusing and painful dynamics in narcissistic relationships—gaslighting. We look at how gaslighting isn’t always as clear-cut as it seems. Sometimes it’s deliberate and controlling, but other times it reflects someone trapped in their own distorted reality, unable to see beyond their perspective. We also talk about h...

In this episode, we join a conversation with Deborah from Healing from Toxic Abuse right at the moment she expresses surprise that people actually come to therapy identifying as narcissistic—because self-reflection is the very thing they resist. From there, we explore what happens when the illusion of the grandiose self begins to crack, when the fantasies that hold the self together collapse under reality. We look at how narcissist...

In this episode, we break down 3 powerful steps to protect yourself from narcissistic manipulation — even when no contact isn’t possible. You’ll learn how to recognize their defenses, stop absorbing their projections, and reclaim your power without losing your sense of self.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed informa...

Ever feel drained, confused, or like you don’t even exist in a relationship? You might be interacting with a narcissist—overt or covert—and not even realize it. In this episode, we will explore how to spot the red flags and understand the psychological defenses driving these behaviors. It’s time to reclaim your clarity, your power, and your peace of mind.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, D...

Do you ever catch yourself withdrawing, lashing out, or dismissing someone you love when they don’t meet your expectations—and then wonder if it means you’re selfish, manipulative, or even “narcissistic”? In this episode we go beneath the surface of those labels to explore the unconscious patterns that drive these destructive behaviors. 

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is acc...

Does your partner ever humiliate you in a way that makes you wonder—do they actually enjoy my pain?
Have you caught yourself lashing out, withdrawing, or dismissing someone you love… and then regretting it later?
Is the cruelty you feel in these moments really about sadism—or could something deeper be going on beneath the surface?

In this episode we dive into one of the most painful questions people ask: Why does the narci...

Warning- this is a deep dive into unconscious processes  

Why do you keep repeating the same destructive patterns, even when you finally have something good—a loving partner, a promotion at work, or even just care and attention? In this episode, we explore the hidden forces that make receiving goodness feel threatening, from envy and shame to the fear of humiliation. Using real-life examples, we uncover why people unconsciously push...

In this episode, we uncover how covert narcissistic parents quietly take over their children’s choices through guilt, victimhood, and subtle emotional control. You’ll learn how these hidden dynamics can unconsciously follow you into adult relationships, shape your inner voice, and most importantly what it takes to start reclaiming your independence.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Maz...

In this episode, we uncover how covert narcissism can quietly hijack your choices. What happens when a parent’s tears, guilt, or subtle manipulations make independence feel like betrayal? Through a powerful clinical example, we reveal the hidden inner logic that keeps adult children bound to their parent’s needs—and why separating isn’t just about moving out, but breaking free on an inner level.

If you are interested in a consultati...

In this episode, we take a deep dive into the psychic world of narcissistic emptiness — why everyday tasks can feel overwhelming, how withdrawal serves as a protective defense, and why shutting down can feel safer than engaging. Tune in to discover how small moments of engagement can be fostered to help shift a life overshadowed by withdrawal toward meaningful connection and authentic presence 

If you are interested in a consultatio...

In this episode we dive into one of the most hidden struggles of healing from narcissism: why success doesn’t always feel like success. What if every new achievement, every step forward, only brings dread instead of relief? Together, we explore the deeper truth behind this paradox—the way grandiose fantasies once acted as armor against unbearable shame, fear of exposure, and early wounds of not being “enough.” Through a powerful cl...

In Part 2 of this conversation, we move from identifying narcissistic traits in a boss to navigating the complex relationship without losing yourself. Merry Brown raises the question so many people are afraid to ask: How do I get my narcissistic boss to meet expectations without abandoning my own boundaries and sanity? We explore the importance of mental differentiation and I unpack how narcissistic leaders often draw others into s...

Is My Partner a Narcissist? When You’re Blamed, Erased, or Treated Like the Enemy

 In this special 100th episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on  a  moment from one of my new Office Hours sessions — a space where listeners bring real-life stories of complex, often painful relationship dynamics. You’ll hear a raw example from someone questioning whether their spouse is narcissistic, and I’ll walk you through my psychodynamic take:...

 In this episode, we crack open a subtle but deeply toxic dynamic many professionals encounter: the narcissistic boss or coworker who deflects blame, rewrites reality, and leaves you questioning your own judgment.

I sit down with Merry Brown to explore what happens when someone has too little inner conflict but causes constant conflict with others. We explore how pathological denial operates in narcissistic personalities—what it pro...

We’re about to hit two huge milestones — Season 3 is just weeks away, and our 100th episode celebration is right around the corner! But before we launch into brand-new topics, fresh formats, and deeper dives into narcissism, I’m bringing back the most talked-about episode of the year. Healing Narcissism: If You Want to See Change — Start Here has sparked more downloads, shares, and “aha” moments than any other, and for good reason....

In this episode, Renee and I peel back the curtain on the intense emotional battle between shame and guilt. You’ll hear about how to feel guilt without collapsing into self-hatred. Using Frank’s story, we reveal the delicate work of helping someone hold onto guilt without spiraling into destructive shame. Learn why this subtle skill is the key to true healing and emotional integration.

If you are interested in a consultation or seek...