August 11, 2025 • 15 mins
Ever felt lost in the sea of peer pressure and societal expectations? In this powerful message, Pastor Tom Helmich breaks down the challenges of staying true to your faith when the world seems to be pulling you in a different direction. Drawing from personal experiences (including some hilarious 80s and 90s fashion choices), Tom shares raw, honest insights about what it means to be a young Christian in a world that constantly tries to define you. He tackles tough questions like:
- How do you stay true to your faith when everyone else is doing something different?
- What does it really mean to follow Christ, especially when it's not the popular choice?
Key Quotes:
"Wisdom is following the shepherd, not the sheep."
"Faith has the power to transform standing out into being outstanding."
Highlights:
- Real talk about peer pressure
- Biblical guidance for young believers
- Encouragement to choose faith over fear
- Practical advice for maintaining your Christian identity
We Hope This Message Inspires You To:
- Stand firm in your faith
- Seek God's approval over human validation
- Understand that your identity is rooted in Christ, not in what others think
- Have the courage to be different and live out your Christian calling
Whether you're a teenager, college student, or just someone searching for meaning, this message offers hope, humor, and powerful spiritual guidance. Join us as we explore what it means to be a disciple of Christ in a challenging world.
#ChristianFaith #YouthMinistry #SpiritualGrowth
Series: Dear Younger Me, Week 2
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tom Helmich (00:02):
Oh, yep, okay, this series is titled dear younger
me. And yeah, I don't know if Ireally want to talk to younger
me, because I was kind of a bitof a punk, but I made it. But
thinking about thisspecifically, like high school,
years younger me, I keptthinking about my kids. You
know, I got one. My oldest is 24years old. He survived that
(00:23):
phase of life. My daughter's 21she's survived that phase of
life. But my youngest, who'sprobably still asleep right now,
to be honest. So Logan, give himsome trash about that. For me,
he's 19 years old. Justgraduated high school and going
to college. So I'm thinkingabout, you know, kind of my
experiences, but what do I wanthim to know going out into the
world as he's he's finished highschool, but let me tell you
(00:47):
guys, when you finish highschool, you may be legally an
adult, but trust me, you're notquite there yet. I thought I was
for about three or four years,and then I realized how much I
wasn't. It gets easier as we getolder, but peer pressure is a
real thing. And a fewconfessions at one point in
time, in the late 80s, Iactually was sporting a rat
(01:08):
tail. Yeah, luckily, there areno pictures of that that I'm
aware of. I wore parachutepants. Anybody here know what
those are? Yeah, yeah. The mostembarrassing is I had these high
tops with a ridiculously hugetongue and these bright neon one
inch wide shoe laces, and I hadtwo sets per shoe so I could get
(01:30):
two different crazy neon colors.
It looked more ridiculous thanit sounds, I promise you. And
then in the 90s, I remembertight rolling my jeans. I have
no idea why we did that. Anybodyknow why we did that? I I've got
no I spent a lot of time Ishould have been studying math
trying to learn how to do that,a skill I did not need. It gets
easier, but it never really goesit goes away. And I think, you
(01:53):
know, God's got grace for ourfashion blunders. But there are
other things, deeper paths thattemptation can take us down if
we're not if we're not careful.
So I got three readings for ustoday that I think we can help
to lean on for wisdom that I'mhoping the young people in the
church. And honestly, if it'sgood for the 1819, year olds,
it's good for the 50 year oldstoo. Not that much changes. So
(02:14):
we'll start with proverbs.
Chapter 29 verses, 25 through 26I'm going to read it on this
because that just confuses me.
I'm working on it the on it thefear of others lays a snare. But
one who trusts in the Lord issecure. Many seek the favor of a
ruler, but it is from the Lordone gets justice. So it says the
(02:37):
fear of others, being fearful ofothers, lays a snare, is laying
a trap. Think of a mouse trap.
It looks like a nice, perfectlygood, innocent piece of cheese,
but in reality, it's somethingcompletely different. And that's
what being fearful of otherpeople gives us fearful of other
people's judgment lays a trapfor us because it's from God
that we are judged only not ourpeers. It's about identity, not
(02:59):
popularity. Fear of judgmentcannot give us our identity. Our
identity should be anchored inChrist, the identity of being a
disciple of Jesus, that's waymore valuable than popularity.
It's hard to see when you're1617, 18 years old, or even 14
(03:19):
through 19 or 45, or 50, but theapproval of the fickle masses is
very inconsistent. It changesfrom year to year. We should
resist being tempted to tradeour identity as a disciple of
Christ for that just emptythrough an empty applause of the
crowd. Had to throw an empty inthere, otherwise it would be,
(03:42):
you know, seem contradictory,but empty approval of the crowd.
So now we'll go to FirstThessalonians. And this is
chapter two, verses one throughfour. And this is Paul writing
to the church in Thessalonikithat he started. And he's
writing a letter back to Him inverse. Verse one says, You
yourselves, know, brothers andsisters that are coming to you
(04:04):
was not in vain, but though wehad already suffered and been
shamefully mistreated atPhilippi, as you know, we had
courage in our God to declare toyou the gospel of God, in spite
of great opposition, for ourappeal to you does not spring
from deceit or impure, impuremotives or trickery. But just as
(04:24):
we have been approved by God tobe entrusted with the message of
the gospel, even so we speak,not to please mortals, but to
please God who tests our heart,being our identity of being a
disciple is part of that is thatresponsibility, as Holly said,
to have that sphere of influenceof us being a living witness of
(04:45):
the gospel. We've been entrustedto this. We've been empowered
for this through our faith, butwe have to be careful about the
idea the fear of judgment thatmakes us want to be silent
rather than speaking out. Uh,where we're inspired by our
faith to the people around usfor the benefit of the people
around us. It's about choosingto please God over choosing
(05:06):
people. What's right should bemore persuasive than what's
popular, but making a decisionabout what's right. And this
happens a lot as a teen, and wethink, Oh, I did anyway and
still do sometimes. What arepeople going to think about
that? You know, the saying inthe 90s was, you know, who cares
what other people think? Well,guess what? Everybody cares what
(05:28):
other people think. That's why Ilooked in the mirror before I
left to make sure my hair wasactually combed and I didn't
forget to do that. It's why Imade sure my wife saw me before
I left the house to make sure myoutfit was not completely
ridiculous, because I'm notokay. I'm not good at that on my
own. We care what other peoplethink, sometimes too much, but
we really need to think aboutwhat what God thinks. What would
(05:51):
God want us to do? Which remindsme to another thing in the 90s
that luckily was notembarrassing. I dug through
every junk drawer in the housetoday looking for one. But there
used to be these bracelets thatsaid, WW, JD, what would Jesus
do? I looked for like an hourthis morning hoping to find one.
I couldn't find. Oh, we hadthem. They'll turn up now, when
we think ourselves, What wouldJesus do? What would Jesus want
(06:14):
us to do? What would God want usto do, rather than what other
people are going to approve ofus doing but that's hard to do.
So now we'll go to John, chapter12, verses 42 and 43
nevertheless, well, and in thisright before this, it talks
about the people's hearts beinghardened against the gospel. So
it says, Nevertheless, many,even of the authorities,
(06:37):
believed in him, believed inJesus, but because of the
Pharisees, they did not confessit, for fear that they would be
put out of the synagogue, forthey loved human glory more than
the glory that comes from God.
Man. That's so in here that usesthe word doxa for the the Greek,
(07:01):
which means glory and literallymeans it's what evokes good
opinion, or that something hasinherent or intrinsic worth,
right then inherit and intrinsicworth of God. But the people
valued the intrinsic, inherentworth of human opinion over that
of God, and they're afraid ofbeing kicked out of the
(07:23):
synagogue, kicked out of theirpeer group if they follow Jesus.
That's a strong temptation for alot of kids, the most important
thing to them is their peergroup, and to stand up against
their peers is a terrifyingthing. To be rejected from that
group is a terrifying thing aspart of the purpose of the
church, it gives us a group thatwe can always belong in and not
(07:47):
be cast out of. Because faithtakes courage. It's not easy to
follow God's word when it'sagainst public opinion, and
public opinion leads to group Iheard the term group think leads
to group think. And group thinkis really just one person
thinking and everybody justfollowing along. You know,
(08:07):
blindly, maybe a few people inthe group kind of know what
they're doing is wrong, but theyjust follow along anyway, and
the others don't even care toeven look and see what's what's
right. That's even a harderforce when that group is our
friends, and in the the immortalwords of Albus Dumbledore of
Harry Potter fame, it takes agreat deal of bravery to stand
(08:29):
up to our enemies, but just asmuch to stand up to our friends.
And sometimes standing up to ourfriends for what's right is not
just right for us, it's rightfor them, being willing to be
that strong influence, thatChristian influence in our our
friend group, is a huge andimportant thing, not only for
(08:50):
us, but but for them. It's partof the Christian responsibility
as a disciple, wisdom isfollowing the shepherd, not the
sheep. Wisdom stands in awe ofGod rather than in fear of
popular opinion. Wisdom isstanding in awe of God rather
(09:13):
than fear of public opinion.
Popular opinion is aboutperpetuating itself. The public
opinion that group wantseverybody to conform to it so it
can continue to exist. That'sthe whole reason they want us to
conform to them, so it cancontinue to be but God's will is
about what's best for us asChristians, whether you're 19 or
(09:39):
91 because there's nothing wecan ever do to benefit God. So
you gotta look at where what thepurpose is. God's will is for
our own good and benefit for theplans God has laid out for us.
Following along with the crowdis just to make the crowd look
worth following after you. It,the crowd can't give us
(10:00):
anything. It just takes.
If you're looking at God's willin the one hand and then popular
opinion in the other, God's Willhas the promise of forgiveness
of our sins and we will commitmany of redemption and of of
eternal life, popular opinion isnothing but an empty promise
(10:26):
that benefits just the group andhas nothing for us. It is an
empty promise.
The trick is to go through lifeand to choose faith over fear
and insecurity. God's Will overempty approval of the masses,
and courage over silence,courage to speak up for what you
(10:50):
think is right, to speak up forother people, to speak up for
ourselves and to not just goalong with the crowd. Because
the most important part of thisis that faith has a power for
us. Faith has a power forcollege students, high school
students, for adults, faith hasthe power to transform standing
out into being outstanding. It'sthe difference between standing
(11:16):
out is different and beingoutstanding as a disciple of
Christ standing against just thepopular flow. It's about being a
living witness to the promiseand the power of the gospel for
those around us, in fact, in ashameless plug here, and who
(11:39):
here is in a life group. That'sit. Come on, guys. We can do
better than that. Who's hereleading a life group? Anybody?
Any leaders? Okay, we're goingto work on that. That's part of
my job. I got my work cut outfor me. In this, we're reading
this book a week in the life ofRome, and in this we're going to
read about a guy who's dealingwith living in a pagan Roman
(12:01):
culture in the first centurywho's a Christian, and balancing
public expectation andpopularity with being a follower
of Christ. And it's got some,some, some good points that I
think are going to be related toour lives here now in
Bentonville and Rogers, Arkansasin the 2020s so pray for our
(12:22):
youth. Pray for the teens,because they're going out into a
realm of a lot of publicinfluence, a lot of, sorry, a
lot of peer influence. That'skind of the the blind leading
the blind. My 19 year oldsgetting ready to go dorm with
another 1920 year old, a bunchof other teens. And I, in my
mind, I can only picture itlooking like a scene from The
Lord of the Flies, becausethat's kind of what my college
(12:45):
experience was like. And I prayhe can come out of it without
making too horrible of mistakes.
And I pray that God will putpeople in his life that will
guide him and bring him back towhere he needs to be. I pray
that God will put people in hislife like you that will hold him
accountable to the gospel andwill help to keep him stay on
that narrow path, if you'll praywith me, please, Lord, we thank
(13:08):
you for your patience with us aswe continue to grow into who
you've called us to be. We praythat you'll guide our steps as
you lead us through life, wepray that you place wise,
faithful mentors in our lives,and especially in the lives of
our teens and young people.
(13:30):
Place in our lives people whowill encourage us, guide us and
point us back to Christ when theway is unclear, Lord, surround
us with friends who strengthenour faith rather than weaken it.
Give us strength to resisttemptations of society. Give us
courage to choose faith overfear and insecurity, to choose
(13:50):
your will over the emptyapproval of others and boldness
over silence when it comes toour witness and discipleship,
grant us wisdom to make gooddecisions, decisions shaped by
your word and guided by yourSpirit. Lord, may our identities
be rooted in Christ, ourintegrity be guarded by your
(14:11):
truth, and our hearts be set onpleasing you above all. Lord. We
commit ourselves into yourhands, trusting in your mercy
and the plans you have made forus, we pray these things in Your
Son's name And all God's peoplesaid, Amen. Amen.
Oh, yep, okay, this series is titled dear younger
me. And yeah, I don't know if Ireally want to talk to younger
me, because I was kind of a bitof a punk, but I made it. But
thinking about thisspecifically, like high school,
years younger me, I keptthinking about my kids. You
know, I got one. My oldest is 24years old. He survived that
(00:23):
phase of life. My daughter's 21she's survived that phase of
life. But my youngest, who'sprobably still asleep right now,
to be honest. So Logan, give himsome trash about that. For me,
he's 19 years old. Justgraduated high school and going
to college. So I'm thinkingabout, you know, kind of my
experiences, but what do I wanthim to know going out into the
world as he's he's finished highschool, but let me tell you
(00:47):
guys, when you finish highschool, you may be legally an
adult, but trust me, you're notquite there yet. I thought I was
for about three or four years,and then I realized how much I
wasn't. It gets easier as we getolder, but peer pressure is a
real thing. And a fewconfessions at one point in
time, in the late 80s, Iactually was sporting a rat
(01:08):
tail. Yeah, luckily, there areno pictures of that that I'm
aware of. I wore parachutepants. Anybody here know what
those are? Yeah, yeah. The mostembarrassing is I had these high
tops with a ridiculously hugetongue and these bright neon one
inch wide shoe laces, and I hadtwo sets per shoe so I could get
(01:30):
two different crazy neon colors.
It looked more ridiculous thanit sounds, I promise you. And
then in the 90s, I remembertight rolling my jeans. I have
no idea why we did that. Anybodyknow why we did that? I I've got
no I spent a lot of time Ishould have been studying math
trying to learn how to do that,a skill I did not need. It gets
easier, but it never really goesit goes away. And I think, you
(01:53):
know, God's got grace for ourfashion blunders. But there are
other things, deeper paths thattemptation can take us down if
we're not if we're not careful.
So I got three readings for ustoday that I think we can help
to lean on for wisdom that I'mhoping the young people in the
church. And honestly, if it'sgood for the 1819, year olds,
it's good for the 50 year oldstoo. Not that much changes. So
(02:14):
we'll start with proverbs.
Chapter 29 verses, 25 through 26I'm going to read it on this
because that just confuses me.
I'm working on it the on it thefear of others lays a snare. But
one who trusts in the Lord issecure. Many seek the favor of a
ruler, but it is from the Lordone gets justice. So it says the
(02:37):
fear of others, being fearful ofothers, lays a snare, is laying
a trap. Think of a mouse trap.
It looks like a nice, perfectlygood, innocent piece of cheese,
but in reality, it's somethingcompletely different. And that's
what being fearful of otherpeople gives us fearful of other
people's judgment lays a trapfor us because it's from God
that we are judged only not ourpeers. It's about identity, not
(02:59):
popularity. Fear of judgmentcannot give us our identity. Our
identity should be anchored inChrist, the identity of being a
disciple of Jesus, that's waymore valuable than popularity.
It's hard to see when you're1617, 18 years old, or even 14
(03:19):
through 19 or 45, or 50, but theapproval of the fickle masses is
very inconsistent. It changesfrom year to year. We should
resist being tempted to tradeour identity as a disciple of
Christ for that just emptythrough an empty applause of the
crowd. Had to throw an empty inthere, otherwise it would be,
(03:42):
you know, seem contradictory,but empty approval of the crowd.
So now we'll go to FirstThessalonians. And this is
chapter two, verses one throughfour. And this is Paul writing
to the church in Thessalonikithat he started. And he's
writing a letter back to Him inverse. Verse one says, You
yourselves, know, brothers andsisters that are coming to you
(04:04):
was not in vain, but though wehad already suffered and been
shamefully mistreated atPhilippi, as you know, we had
courage in our God to declare toyou the gospel of God, in spite
of great opposition, for ourappeal to you does not spring
from deceit or impure, impuremotives or trickery. But just as
(04:24):
we have been approved by God tobe entrusted with the message of
the gospel, even so we speak,not to please mortals, but to
please God who tests our heart,being our identity of being a
disciple is part of that is thatresponsibility, as Holly said,
to have that sphere of influenceof us being a living witness of
(04:45):
the gospel. We've been entrustedto this. We've been empowered
for this through our faith, butwe have to be careful about the
idea the fear of judgment thatmakes us want to be silent
rather than speaking out. Uh,where we're inspired by our
faith to the people around usfor the benefit of the people
around us. It's about choosingto please God over choosing
(05:06):
people. What's right should bemore persuasive than what's
popular, but making a decisionabout what's right. And this
happens a lot as a teen, and wethink, Oh, I did anyway and
still do sometimes. What arepeople going to think about
that? You know, the saying inthe 90s was, you know, who cares
what other people think? Well,guess what? Everybody cares what
(05:28):
other people think. That's why Ilooked in the mirror before I
left to make sure my hair wasactually combed and I didn't
forget to do that. It's why Imade sure my wife saw me before
I left the house to make sure myoutfit was not completely
ridiculous, because I'm notokay. I'm not good at that on my
own. We care what other peoplethink, sometimes too much, but
we really need to think aboutwhat what God thinks. What would
(05:51):
God want us to do? Which remindsme to another thing in the 90s
that luckily was notembarrassing. I dug through
every junk drawer in the housetoday looking for one. But there
used to be these bracelets thatsaid, WW, JD, what would Jesus
do? I looked for like an hourthis morning hoping to find one.
I couldn't find. Oh, we hadthem. They'll turn up now, when
we think ourselves, What wouldJesus do? What would Jesus want
(06:14):
us to do? What would God want usto do, rather than what other
people are going to approve ofus doing but that's hard to do.
So now we'll go to John, chapter12, verses 42 and 43
nevertheless, well, and in thisright before this, it talks
about the people's hearts beinghardened against the gospel. So
it says, Nevertheless, many,even of the authorities,
(06:37):
believed in him, believed inJesus, but because of the
Pharisees, they did not confessit, for fear that they would be
put out of the synagogue, forthey loved human glory more than
the glory that comes from God.
Man. That's so in here that usesthe word doxa for the the Greek,
(07:01):
which means glory and literallymeans it's what evokes good
opinion, or that something hasinherent or intrinsic worth,
right then inherit and intrinsicworth of God. But the people
valued the intrinsic, inherentworth of human opinion over that
of God, and they're afraid ofbeing kicked out of the
(07:23):
synagogue, kicked out of theirpeer group if they follow Jesus.
That's a strong temptation for alot of kids, the most important
thing to them is their peergroup, and to stand up against
their peers is a terrifyingthing. To be rejected from that
group is a terrifying thing aspart of the purpose of the
church, it gives us a group thatwe can always belong in and not
(07:47):
be cast out of. Because faithtakes courage. It's not easy to
follow God's word when it'sagainst public opinion, and
public opinion leads to group Iheard the term group think leads
to group think. And group thinkis really just one person
thinking and everybody justfollowing along. You know,
(08:07):
blindly, maybe a few people inthe group kind of know what
they're doing is wrong, but theyjust follow along anyway, and
the others don't even care toeven look and see what's what's
right. That's even a harderforce when that group is our
friends, and in the the immortalwords of Albus Dumbledore of
Harry Potter fame, it takes agreat deal of bravery to stand
(08:29):
up to our enemies, but just asmuch to stand up to our friends.
And sometimes standing up to ourfriends for what's right is not
just right for us, it's rightfor them, being willing to be
that strong influence, thatChristian influence in our our
friend group, is a huge andimportant thing, not only for
(08:50):
us, but but for them. It's partof the Christian responsibility
as a disciple, wisdom isfollowing the shepherd, not the
sheep. Wisdom stands in awe ofGod rather than in fear of
popular opinion. Wisdom isstanding in awe of God rather
(09:13):
than fear of public opinion.
Popular opinion is aboutperpetuating itself. The public
opinion that group wantseverybody to conform to it so it
can continue to exist. That'sthe whole reason they want us to
conform to them, so it cancontinue to be but God's will is
about what's best for us asChristians, whether you're 19 or
(09:39):
91 because there's nothing wecan ever do to benefit God. So
you gotta look at where what thepurpose is. God's will is for
our own good and benefit for theplans God has laid out for us.
Following along with the crowdis just to make the crowd look
worth following after you. It,the crowd can't give us
(10:00):
anything. It just takes.
If you're looking at God's willin the one hand and then popular
opinion in the other, God's Willhas the promise of forgiveness
of our sins and we will commitmany of redemption and of of
eternal life, popular opinion isnothing but an empty promise
(10:26):
that benefits just the group andhas nothing for us. It is an
empty promise.
The trick is to go through lifeand to choose faith over fear
and insecurity. God's Will overempty approval of the masses,
and courage over silence,courage to speak up for what you
(10:50):
think is right, to speak up forother people, to speak up for
ourselves and to not just goalong with the crowd. Because
the most important part of thisis that faith has a power for
us. Faith has a power forcollege students, high school
students, for adults, faith hasthe power to transform standing
out into being outstanding. It'sthe difference between standing
(11:16):
out is different and beingoutstanding as a disciple of
Christ standing against just thepopular flow. It's about being a
living witness to the promiseand the power of the gospel for
those around us, in fact, in ashameless plug here, and who
(11:39):
here is in a life group. That'sit. Come on, guys. We can do
better than that. Who's hereleading a life group? Anybody?
Any leaders? Okay, we're goingto work on that. That's part of
my job. I got my work cut outfor me. In this, we're reading
this book a week in the life ofRome, and in this we're going to
read about a guy who's dealingwith living in a pagan Roman
(12:01):
culture in the first centurywho's a Christian, and balancing
public expectation andpopularity with being a follower
of Christ. And it's got some,some, some good points that I
think are going to be related toour lives here now in
Bentonville and Rogers, Arkansasin the 2020s so pray for our
(12:22):
youth. Pray for the teens,because they're going out into a
realm of a lot of publicinfluence, a lot of, sorry, a
lot of peer influence. That'skind of the the blind leading
the blind. My 19 year oldsgetting ready to go dorm with
another 1920 year old, a bunchof other teens. And I, in my
mind, I can only picture itlooking like a scene from The
Lord of the Flies, becausethat's kind of what my college
(12:45):
experience was like. And I prayhe can come out of it without
making too horrible of mistakes.
And I pray that God will putpeople in his life that will
guide him and bring him back towhere he needs to be. I pray
that God will put people in hislife like you that will hold him
accountable to the gospel andwill help to keep him stay on
that narrow path, if you'll praywith me, please, Lord, we thank
(13:08):
you for your patience with us aswe continue to grow into who
you've called us to be. We praythat you'll guide our steps as
you lead us through life, wepray that you place wise,
faithful mentors in our lives,and especially in the lives of
our teens and young people.
(13:30):
Place in our lives people whowill encourage us, guide us and
point us back to Christ when theway is unclear, Lord, surround
us with friends who strengthenour faith rather than weaken it.
Give us strength to resisttemptations of society. Give us
courage to choose faith overfear and insecurity, to choose
(13:50):
your will over the emptyapproval of others and boldness
over silence when it comes toour witness and discipleship,
grant us wisdom to make gooddecisions, decisions shaped by
your word and guided by yourSpirit. Lord, may our identities
be rooted in Christ, ourintegrity be guarded by your
(14:11):
truth, and our hearts be set onpleasing you above all. Lord. We
commit ourselves into yourhands, trusting in your mercy
and the plans you have made forus, we pray these things in Your
Son's name And all God's peoplesaid, Amen. Amen.
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