Can We Treat Death as a Mentor? NDP Episode 171

Ok, I know, it sounds weird but hear me out. 

Humans are freaked out by death. I’m not saying I’m any different, just drawing attention to this in hopes of reducing our suffering. Today I’m wondering what life would be like if we could change our relationship with death.

The Toltec civilization of Central America considered death an advisor like a friend who gives advice. In this way, Toltecs navigated their lives knowing they were temporary. It is a way to try and make the most of the time we have. 

Some modern cultures ask how you would live life differently if you knew you only had 6 months to live. I’m sure you’ve heard this approach at some point in your life. It’s an interesting question.

How would you live differently?

My ecological background treats death as a normal part of life. Death is kind of the same as birth. It is a necessary occurrence for all living things. Things change through time, and part of that is death. Humans forget this. We don’t talk about it. We pretend it isn’t true. We try to use technology to make it false.

Isn’t that weird? At least in an ecological sense? 

What did our other animals do? What did our ancestors do? I love that question. I think as our minds and nervous systems became more sophisticated we developed a lot of emotions around death. Sadness. Grief. Regret. 

I think that our hardware evolved faster than our software. 

In other words, our awareness of our emotions lags behind our capacity to have them. Let’s face it. Death is overwhelming.

But can’t we learn to incorporate death into our lives? Talk about it. Recognize it. Not overdramatize it so much. Can’t we use death as a reminder to live our lives? If we can embrace our mortality, we may discover ways of dealing with our loved ones’ deaths. 

Recognizing and talking about our mortality is a start. Ecology understands that all things are part of a larger system. Within this system, energy flows and nutrients cycle. Life and death are natural parts of that cycle. You can start at birth:

birth->life->growth->reproduction->death->decomposition->nutrient recycling->repeat

Death is a part of a natural cycle. 

One we can’t change. Isolation and alteration of any part of the system can upset everything. Modifying death can destroy the homeostasis within the biosphere. 

What would it be like with less fear and guilt and shame and drama? Would we be more connected and less separate? Can we take back all the energy we spend avoiding death and pretending it away? To do otherwise seems profane. 

I wish we talked more about death. 

I don’t want to take away the grief and sadness. But maybe we could learn to reduce the guilt and regret. Maybe it would help to ask ourselves how we would live differently if we understood our time here is limited. 

The Neurodivergent Professor is a weekly podcast and video project that examines what is like to be different.

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