Things We Could Care Less About. NDP 168

I couldn’t care less about that.

How many times have you said that?

We use this phrase as a euphemism to mean we completely don’t like, disagree with, or are opposed to whatever is being discussed. 

There are things in life we don’t care about, and some things we care a lot about. We pay attention to and direct our energy toward the things we care about.  My argument here is caring about things is energetically expensive and we need to be careful.

Caring requires attention.

We use the phrase ‘pay attention’ because our attention is limited. When things are bothersome or stressful, paying attention can be painful.

Some things are important. Life or death. We need to care about eating, staying hydrated, and sleeping. Other things are not very important. We don’t need to care about which celebrity won an academy award, who is sleeping together at work, or what other people think about us.

Our bodies, however, don’t know the difference. We experience stress based on how we pay attention to the things we care about. 

Knowing what is important matters.

We need to ask ourselves whether or not things are important. If something isn’t worth worrying about, we can give ourselves permission to not worry about it. Imagine a life where you knew what was important and only worried about those things. Imagine being bothered, worried, or stressed about fewer things. 

Who doesn’t want that?

A therapist once told me that my worrying about my familial reputation ‘wasn’t mine’. What he meant was I had learned to spend my energy manipulating how my family viewed my behavior as a means of being loved. He was telling me that this was something I developed as a defense mechanism to feel safe. This wasn’t mine because it was caused by other people’s inability to love me the way I needed to be loved. It wasn’t mine.

Figuring out what’s yours is up to you. But I guarantee you it will help reduce the things that you care about. Taking this inventory of your life can help you care less about things that don’t matter. 

What would life be like if you couldn’t care less about things?

Our energy, as awareness and attention, are spent on a lot of dumb shit. We worry about what other people think. We worry about exercising enough. We worry about how we look. We worry about how much money we make. Most of these things are out of control. Our worrying about them is of no consequence. Well, the only consequence is causing stress to ourselves.

What would life be like if we could reclaim this wasted energy? Imagine what we could do with ourselves if we spent less time caring about things we don’t really need to care about?

You can learn how to care less, but you need to practice.

In my writing and podcasting I talk a lot about having a practice. A practice is a set of routines we do that have long-term effects on our awareness. My practice includes journalling, meditation, mindfulness, yoga, exercise, and eating an ok diet. Your practice may differ. 

My practice has taught me how to take an observer’s perspecitve. As an unintended consequence of my practice, I have built-in the ability to pause. To take a deep breath. To see myself preparing to behave automatically. I can now choose how I react a lot of the time. It has been life changing.

Other relevant Episodes:

Trying to Change the Future Is Like Living in The Matrix

The Cumulative Stress Hypothesis

Unlearning

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