Demon Dialogues ft. Dr. Scott Woolley, PhD

Grace welcomes back Dr. Scott Woolley for this week's episode to discuss negative patterns couples develop in dealing with conflict. Dr. Woolley introduces the three main patterns of fighting in marriage, "Find the Bad Guy," "The Protest Polka," and "Freeze and Flee".

Grace and Dr. Woolley discuss why being able to identify the patterns in your own marriage allow you to change your perspective, and come together as a couple, or even individually start to address the patterns, to help change behaviors. They discuss how often, fights may seem to be about something surface level, but when actually addressed, can really about something much more vulnerable, such as self-worth, or feeling safe or supported in the relationship.

They then discuss how to allow ourselves to become more vulnerable, by acknowledging surface emotions and defense mechanisms, to really address the true problems that cause conflict in a relationship. 

Dr. Woolley addresses how to ask the right questions about how to change behavior, by figuring out why the fights start, and how to address them differently. He gives ideas for battle plans for couples to work together to improve how they address conflict in their marriage, and cause less hurt during. 

Grace adds several ideas of conferences, classes or seminars to attend to help boost a couple's skills with these techniques:
Hold Me Tight(er) Online
Building a Lasting Connection
Jeremy Boden’s Newlywed Course