August 20, 2024 • 26 mins
Transitions are a natural part of life, but how do we navigate them with grace and faith? In this episode of the NorthStar Narrative, our Spiritual Life Director, Allen Hester, steps into the interviewer’s role to chat with Stephanie Shafer about the multifaceted experience of transitions. Stephanie candidly shares her personal experiences with change, touching on the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it—from fear and uncertainty to excitement and growth. She offers a heartfelt reflection on how embracing transitions is integral to God’s larger plan, especially in the context of the recent changes at NorthStar Academy.
We also delve into the emotional and spiritual dimensions of life’s transitions, highlighting the importance of being honest with God about our feelings of grief, guilt, and shame, and the healing that comes through surrender. Stephanie provides practical advice for those in the midst of both sudden and planned changes, underscoring the power of community support and simply being present with others in their time of need.
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Episode Transcript
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Allen Hester (00:02):
Hi, this is Stephanie Shafer and you're
listening to the North StarNarrative, a podcast from North
Star Academy.
I want to thank you for joiningus.
I hope you're encouraged,challenged and motivated by what
you learned today.
Enjoy the story.
Stephanie Shafer (00:18):
Hello everybody, welcome to this very
special edition of the NorthStar Narrative.
Now, before you think you're inthe wrong place or listening to
the wrong podcast, I know thevoice you're hearing right now
is different, but don't worry,we have Ms Stephanie Shafer with
us here today.
My name is Allen Hester, I'mthe Spiritual Life Director here
at North Star Academy and Ihave the very special privilege
(00:41):
of interviewing and having aconversation with our director,
ms Shafer privilege ofinterviewing and having a
conversation with our director,ms Shafer, on a topic that I
think many of you will find notonly engaging but also very
relevant to what you may begoing through at the moment.
So, first of all, let me justsay once again how much we
appreciate and value our schooldirector, ms Shafer.
Ms Shafer, welcome and thankyou for joining us today.
Thank you so much.
Allen Hester (01:01):
It's a privilege to be on the other end of the
mic again this time.
Stephanie Shafer (01:05):
So that was going to be my first question is
is it strange to be on theother side of the microphone?
Is it strange to have somebodygrilling you with all those
amazing questions that youusually ask others?
Allen Hester (01:15):
Yeah, no, not anymore, because we've done that
so much through this podcastand through different avenues at
North Star, and so you know,recording man now like 226
podcasts.
That's a lot For me.
It's become pretty just naturaland fun, lots of fun.
So I'm always eager to seewhat's going to happen on each
(01:36):
episode, what God's going to do.
Stephanie Shafer (01:38):
Absolutely so, to all of our listeners.
You've just heard that thereare 226 of these out there and
they cover so many interestingand amazing topics, so I would
encourage you.
If you haven't ever justscrolled through the list and
looked through our differenttopics, please do that.
We'd love to have you lookthere.
I would assume there'ssomething there that might
really really be special to youor applicable to your life and
(02:01):
your situation there, so weencourage you to do that.
All right, ms Shafer, I have aquestion for you.
I'm going to say a word, and Iwant you to tell me some of the
first thoughts that come to yourmind when I say this word, and
that word is transition.
Allen Hester (02:15):
Transition Okay, hard, sad, difficult are the
first ones, but also exciting,fun, adventurous.
I think those are my first fewwords.
Stephanie Shafer (02:29):
Okay, okay, I think those are excellent
choices.
I think one of the thingsthat's interesting about the
word transition is it probablyevokes a different emotion or
thought pattern in every singleperson, based on their own
personal experience, and so weall have been through
transitions, we all have hadmoments in our lives where
things change, and so maybewe've responded differently to
(02:52):
that depending on our personalsituation, but I think you've
hit on some key words there thatare very applicable.
So, ms Shafer, you said hard,difficult, and I think a lot of
people find change to be that.
Why do you think that is?
Allen Hester (03:08):
I think, scary fear of the unknown and just
getting really settled,satisfied, content with the same
thing, sometimes routine is theeasiest choice and so I think,
even though people might want tochange, want to jump out of a
situation, it's just the easiestthing to keep going sometimes.
Stephanie Shafer (03:31):
Excellent points you're making there, yeah
, so I think it is probablytempting to want to stay the
same.
Maybe we have some kind of likedesire to keep things within
our control, or maybe what weperceive as our control.
Of course, as we both know, godis really the ultimate one in
control.
So when transitions happen, wehave to keep that perspective in
(03:51):
mind.
But I think you're right.
A lot of people do find itdifficult.
Would you say that within ourNorth Star community, are you
seeing a lot of transitions inyour term as leader and, if so,
what have been some of therealities that you've had to
face as a leader with thetransitions that are taking
place?
Allen Hester (04:10):
Yeah, there's definitely been transitions,
especially the 23-24 school yearand now the 24-25, which we're
heading into.
There's been positions thateither people have felt like,
hey, it's time God's moving meto a different area which we've
been able to celebrate.
Now it's sad and it's hard, andsometimes you're like, oh,
(04:31):
who's going to fill that gap?
How are we going to pulltogether as a team to do, you
know, to make sure we don't loseanything?
Something's covered.
But God always works that outfor us in really unique ways
that are evident that he's doneit.
But, yeah, it can be sad, butalso it can be exciting, because
God has just shown me reallyclearly that, as Christians, as
(04:52):
people following him, no matterwhere we're working at Northstar
, another school, a church,another ministry, any job out in
the world, it's all.
As we're Christians, you knowit's mission, the mission field,
every day, loving Him, makingHis name known, and so, no
matter where we are, we're doingit all together.
And so sometimes you might beat one place and then God's like
(05:13):
, okay, I'm ready for you to gohere for multiple different
reasons, and so we're stillworking together even though we
might not be in the same place.
Does that make sense?
So he's just gotten me to acontentment with that of knowing
we can celebrate people comingand going and moving and new
seasons, because he is aboutchange.
We see that I think of seasonssummer, spring, winter, you know
(05:36):
, fall, all of those, likethings change.
Stephanie Shafer (05:40):
Absolutely, and that change is necessary for
the next season to come in.
One has to end so that theother can begin, and so, with
that, are there any changesgoing on at North Star that you
want to share with our listeners, who maybe are part of our
school community already?
Maybe they want to know whatare some of the changes that are
happening going forward intothis new school year.
Allen Hester (06:06):
Yeah.
So each year we probablyusually have like a teacher or
two or sometimes more, you knowtransitioning out.
Maybe they have a lot of stuffgoing on with their family or
health issues, or they'rerealizing they want to focus on
their full-time job.
You know, some teachers havefull-time jobs outside of North
Star and it's part-time here,sometimes they're full-time, and
so teachers transition in andout.
Sometimes they've retired andso that's happened in the past
(06:28):
and we have a few teachers thatwe're celebrating that are
transitioning out but we're sothankful for their hard work.
We have three key positions thatare transitioning out of 2425.
That's our Dean of Students,scott Bergeron, who's been here
for a long time, done someincredible work.
God's calling him into brickand mortar school and so he's
leaving online for, you know, atthis season and moving into a
(06:51):
brick and mortar school where Iknow he's going to thrive in
that area as well as he did here.
And then Chuck Deitch istransitioning out.
His heart has been foster carefor a long time, but he came
here.
We needed him for a while toreally help us develop a lot of
programs and and getting thingsin order and just tighten up our
(07:13):
, our safety, because that's soimportant for our students.
But he's transitioning backinto the foster care area where
his heart, you know, just longsand it was a cool development.
So those two are key positions.
And another key position rightaround in that area is our
student success coach and that'stransitioning out and we're,
(07:34):
you know it's because thingsevolve and change.
We're doing things different,still want to help our students
have great success in every area.
So Kimberly Smith is moving outof that area.
But even though they've beenkey, they've been important and
there's many responsibilitiesthey've done.
There still are.
We're just changing things upand doing things in a different
way, trusting God with each oneof them, just like every staff
(07:57):
and teacher that have come andgone.
It's the right timing and theimportant work to do.
So it's super hard and sad, youknow, depending on your
relationship with differentpeople here, to see people leave
and go.
But I'm also excited for whatGod's doing at North Star and,
(08:17):
you know, in their lives,because I think it's important,
like we we are, to rejoice andin all things God calls us that.
So that means even hard, thingsRight and things God calls us
that.
Stephanie Shafer (08:25):
So that means even hard things right, and so
Thank you for that.
You mentioned earlier about thedifficulty and the sadness and
that type of emotion that mightbe evoked.
I think one emotion that alsoarises when change happens is
maybe there's a feeling ofuncertainty and, potentially,
fear.
So for our North Star studentsand their families, is there any
(08:46):
reason to be afraid right now?
Is there anything that weshould be worried about?
Allen Hester (08:51):
No, definitely not , and I know that, not because
of me as the leader, but becauseGod is our leader, and at North
Star that's really true.
We stay true to our mission for27 years.
We seek God and how he wants tomove and change things, keep
things the same, whatever hewants to do, we're really trying
to seek Him.
We are not perfect, so I'm surewe miss things, but we always
(09:15):
want to stay on path every daythat he has for us, and so we
have a plan for our studentsuccess department and the
safety and we have a really goodteam still in place that are
coming together.
And one thing I love aboutNorthstar is everybody just
chips in to see what's neededand helps one another, and we've
(09:37):
been growing in our unity,growing in that as a team and
really communicating well.
I love collaborating with ourteams and working on different
stuff, for instance, theorientation.
So there was change with thatthis year and each year we've
tried to streamline it, tried tomake it just the best it can be
for parents and studentsupervisors to walk through and
(09:59):
really be set up for success,and so I've already had parents
reaching out to me that arereturning.
They're like woohoo, like thisorientation is great and it's
we've kind of minimized some ofthe things for returning parents
so they don't have to do thingsthat they've already learned,
you know, and yeah, so I'mexcited about that.
So that was a change and thatwas.
That's an example of how ourteam collaborated to um, just
(10:22):
make sure everyone is successfulas possible, and I think I'll
put this plug in here Ifeveryone reads their emails, the
communication that we send tothem, actually goes through the
things we have planned out, andtrust us that we've made it the
best we can make it for themoment, they will be successful.
And then also, key, key key isreach out to your teachers, to
(10:43):
staff like you're never alone.
So I always want to give thatplug, especially as we're
starting the new school year.
You are not alone.
We have support teams,spiritual support teams, you
know, it teams and your teachersand everybody that is just
ready to communicate with you,develop a friendship
relationship and help you moveforward in all your academics,
and so don't forget that.
(11:03):
So, even though things arechanging, we're still in place
here to help you, and I'm veryconfident in our team that God
has here.
Stephanie Shafer (11:13):
Absolutely.
You know, I just came back froma visit to Mississippi, where
our home base is for North StarAcademy, and had such a
wonderful time.
We were there for our in-persongraduation celebration weekend,
which is, by the way, guys, yougot to come to that.
It's amazing, it's really aamazing experience, and so I was
(11:33):
able to not only see you there,but many of our faculty and
staff there, and so I want tojust echo and appreciate what
you've just said, in that ourfaculty and staff are so
committed to our students and toour school.
It's amazing to watch them,both online and in person, live
out this calling that they haveon their lives, and so, if
(11:53):
you've never been to ourin-person graduation, it is for
graduates and their families,but it's also a weekend of
reunion and celebration.
We have many alumni who comeback.
We just have a wonderful time.
So I just want to echo that Isee that very much in what
you've just said, that ourfaculty and staff are so willing
to step up and step forward andtry new things and be
innovative, and certainly whenit comes to these changes, I
(12:16):
very much believe that we have asolid plan in place moving
forward and we have some greatpeople that are stepping into
some new areas to support what'sgoing on here.
So kudos to you and yourleadership for making sure that
all our bases are covered andnot just covered, but innovating
and moving forward, which is animportant aspect for us as well
, yeah, that's reminding me.
Allen Hester (12:37):
Okay, our core values.
We're going to do anotherepisode right after this on our
core values and just reallycamping in those.
Yeah.
Stephanie Shafer (12:44):
I think many people when they go through
transition Absolutely I thinkmany people when they go through
transition there is a real partof that that is sadness, that
is grief.
How would you speak to that interms of not only processing it,
but is it wrong to feel thatsadness?
Is it a good thing to feel thatsadness?
And what do we do with thatemotional aspect of transition?
Allen Hester (13:10):
Yeah, that's a good question.
It's definitely not wrong.
God made all of our emotionsand we see Him experience
emotions throughout the Bible.
You know being sad, being angry, you know different things
because he loves His people somuch and just wants to have a
relationship with them, and sohe's given us that desire to
have relationships with peopleand so thinking about
(13:32):
transitions in all differentways not just someone coming to
North Star and leaving NorthStar, but people that you know
live in one country or one placeand then transition back, maybe
to their home country.
But it could be grief intransition and a loss.
That's a transition Like.
There's so many different typesof transitions, so God has
taught me to be present in it,and so I've had things in my
(13:57):
life where I've grieved and hasbeen a transition, a change.
And it's my personality just torun past it, feel shame or guilt
if I have to sit in it and no,no, no, I just got to trust God
and move on.
He's taught me no, that is nothis plan for us, that we do need
to acknowledge it, say it outloud, speak it to him, say
(14:21):
here's where I am, god.
This is what I'm feeling.
I'm just going to sit here andlet you speak to me, let you
minister to me through your word.
You decide the length of thisgrief, of this transition.
You're going to do it, not me,and so there's so much freedom
in that, because it takes awaythe shame and guilt which God's
never planned for us.
(14:41):
Shame, guilt and fear are nevergood advisors, and so I think
that's important to say in thistoo, that we listen to him and
his word and he gave us emotionsfor a reason and to work those
out and to do that inrelationship.
So, finding people that youtrust to walk you through that
and yeah, for as long as thattakes, he's in the process, he's
(15:03):
doing the process and, I think,just trusting him in the
process.
Stephanie Shafer (15:09):
Powerful, powerful statements you've made
there.
I love what you're saying thatour feelings are valid in the
sense that they are real andthey are.
Our emotions are not to be ranaway from, but they are to be
put under the lordship of Christ.
Right, that idea of allowingJesus to not only guide us but
(15:30):
also to be with us in our griefand to acknowledge it to him,
while at the same time choosingin faith to trust that he is
Lord, in spite of where we mayfeel in any given moment.
Allen Hester (15:41):
So, listening to him, you got to listen, and when
he's pulling you to dosomething or walk out of
something, you do that.
You know it's all aboutlistening, being present with
Him and then obeying.
Stephanie Shafer (15:52):
Absolutely, absolutely Well.
We have a lot of families hereat North Star that are in
transition.
They may be moving from onecountry to another, they may be
closing out a season of ministryin one place, and sometimes
that is done, you know, in a waythat it's planned.
They have months, maybe years,to look forward and plan it.
(16:13):
This past year I spoke withsome students who very suddenly
had to leave a ministry stationthat they were involved in, and
so there wasn't a lot of time tothink about it, process it.
It was kind of a necessity movethat happened quickly.
So, regardless of whether it'sa long term plan or or, you know
, maybe students or families arekind of in a place of shock and
(16:36):
trying to adjust to tosomething that happened very
abruptly, right, what tips orwhat advice would you give to
those families today that arelistening and struggling with
this idea of transition?
Yeah, it's hard.
Allen Hester (16:50):
The easy thing would be oh, just trust God,
he's going to work it all out,which I totally believe.
But that's not always the rightanswer to say to people.
Sometimes it's not to speak atall.
Sometimes it's just to sit withthem.
Right, sit with them and nottry to come up with a reason and
a plan for them, but just tosit.
And so that's where it goesback to.
You really just have to lookwhere you are, look around you.
(17:14):
God's always present, he'salways working.
Sometimes we need to stop andbe still and look and listening.
Okay, god, you may tell me whythis is happening.
You may not.
You may reveal a lot of what'scoming or you may reveal very
little, um, and so I think thatthat's the hard part in the
(17:36):
transition, because a lot oftimes we want to go why, god why
?
But I think he welcomes that.
He wants us to have thatconversation and to and to learn
and to grow, and so I reallythink it's hard to grow in easy,
easy times.
It is very easy to grow in hardtimes because it's change, it's
(17:57):
things we don't want to have todeal with.
But as we press into him, he isdoing great works, he is
increasing our faith.
So I would just say he is doinggreat works.
He is increasing our faith.
So I would just say, goingthrough that, just acknowledging
it, yes, this is so hard.
I don't want to be goingthrough this God, but I need you
to put that trust and faith inme.
I don't have it.
You put it in me so that I cantrust you in this process that
(18:21):
you are doing all things good.
And Romans 8, 28 says God worksall things for good.
So that's including whateveryou're going through right now.
He works all things for good tothose who love him and are
called according to his purpose.
So his children he loves and welove him because he first loved
us.
And so in that love you knowfor us he is working.
(18:44):
We can trust him.
Psalms 37, 4 says delightyourself in the Lord and he will
give you the desires of yourheart.
It is hard to delight whenyou're in a hard transition.
Right, rejoice in all things.
He says all things.
So even hard transitions, wecan't do that.
We have to come to him and behonest and real and vulnerable.
(19:05):
I can't, god, I don't want totrust you.
I don't want to.
You know whatever this isfeeling and you've got to put it
in me.
You put it in me because it'sthe right, it's the right thing
and I'm going to grow as you'rechanging my heart in that.
So I don't know if that's justone tip, but I mean, that is the
heart and so I believe in Godthat he wants to just be the
molder, the potter.
(19:25):
We're the clay and as we say,yes, god, it's just not feel
good to be molded.
I don't want a tea handle on myteacup, I don't know.
The first thing that came tomind.
You know, when you're molding,something like that hurts that
(19:46):
surgery.
But oh, just trusting his heart, maybe when you can't see his
hand.
That's an old song, I'm sure,Allen, you know that.
I can just tell you fromexperience it gets sweeter and
sweeter every time, moreintimate each time, to the point
that you're saying bring it on.
I don't know what I'm reallyasking for, but oh, I'm going to
grow so much with you and it'sgoing to be so intimate.
Anyway, I'm talking a long timeabout that, but it's from real,
personal, deep experience withHim.
Stephanie Shafer (20:09):
Absolutely.
I love that and I reallyappreciate that emphasis on
there are some things that wecan't know in the depth of
relationship with the Lordunless we go through some hard
times, and so that going throughthe difficulty is part of that
refiner's fire that he wants toput into our life and purify and
draw us into deeper trust anddeeper relationships.
(20:29):
So I think what I'm hearingfrom you is hold on, hold on and
trust God, don't give up.
Allen Hester (20:36):
And when you can't trust, you ask him to put the
trust in you.
He's the one that puts thatfruit of faith in us.
So it's okay if you don't feeltrust right now.
It's okay if your faith is tiny, tiny, tiny.
Just ask him to increase yourfaith and he will.
He knows right where you are.
So I think that's the biggestthing and that's been hard for
me to learn, to sit in it and beokay with where I am, because
(21:00):
God knows.
Stephanie Shafer (21:02):
Yeah, amen, absolutely Well.
Thank you so much.
This is a topic we probablycould speak on for hours and
hours and hours, because there'sso many levels to it and so
much, just so many differentavenues or paths we could take
in talking about it, but I thinkone of the main things that we
want to take away today for ourNorth Star community that's
(21:23):
already part of our school groupis please reach out.
Please reach out to our facultyand staff if there's any way
that we can support you in thesetimes of transition.
Also, be encouraged.
North Star is amazing and doingwell and continuing to move
forward with innovation andexcitement for the future.
Also, maybe there are peopletoday listening who are not
(21:45):
currently part of our schoolcommunity.
We want to invite you to comejoin us.
We have an amazing communityhere that is really God's doing
something special here, and Iwould love for you to be part of
it and check us out.
So go to our website, check usout, call us, whatever you can
do to contact us.
We would love to share moreabout this amazing opportunity
(22:07):
that we have here at North.
Star Academy with your family.
So, ms Shafer, any last wordstoday as we close out.
Allen Hester (22:13):
Well, I want to ask you the same question,
because you have lived overseasfor 10 years and then moved back
to America, so that's a hugetransition going and then coming
back even bigger.
And then also, you're doing astudy right now and you're
actually leading our staffthrough a study and we're in the
transition chapter, and so Idon't think that's coincidence
(22:35):
that you're interviewing me onthis now.
We're talking about that.
So what have you learnedthrough all of that that you
would want to share?
Stephanie Shafer (22:42):
Yeah, thank you for the chance to share a
little bit there.
I think one of the major thingsthat I'm taking away when I
think about transition and as Istudy this is that God has new
things.
There's always new thingsbecause we move in seasons.
Right, we're in this season andthen God brings a new season.
That was the illustration usedearlier.
(23:03):
For that new season to happen,something has to die or
something has to go away so thatsomething new can come in.
We can't just constantly addnew because we only have so much
life right, so so much time inour life.
So within that, I think one ofthe beautiful illustrations is
that the death always precedesresurrection and God is always
(23:27):
bringing new life.
He's talking about givingabundant life and new life, and
so for those who are perhapsstruggling with the letting go
piece of this is what I know,this is what I've loved, this
was amazing in one season, butto be willing to release that
and say, but God, I trust youand I trust your leading and I'm
going to follow that, and say,but God, I trust you and I trust
your leading and I'm going tofollow you in faith into that
(23:48):
new season.
So when we release and let go.
God can bring new things in.
The other thing that I would sayis for those who are in times
of transition recognize thatthere is often an in-between
time, which is where we don'talways end one thing and
immediately start a new one,right?
Sometimes there's thistransitional transition.
There's the word time in themiddle.
(24:09):
That's an in-between time, andoften that time is just what you
spoke about.
It's a time period where wedon't have all the answers, we
don't know what God is doing, wedon't know what's going to
happen next week or next monthor next year, and so in that
in-between time, that is theplace and the invitation to draw
near to God, to really drawnear to Him and to say Lord, I
(24:32):
trust in you more than I trustin my circumstances.
I trust in you more than Itrust in my knowledge of what is
coming.
I trust in you more than in myability to work it out or figure
it out, and I think it reallyis in those seasons of
in-between that we really,really, really get to a deeper
place in our faith and our trustin Him, just what you spoke
(24:53):
about earlier, ms Shafer, thatidea of in there.
So if you are in an in-betweenspace where you are closing out
one season and you don't knowwhat's coming next, but you know
that God is bringing you into anew thing.
I would just encourage youtrust to know that he is God, he
is capable, he's got it undercontrol and he doesn't need our
permission, nor ouracknowledgement of what he's
(25:15):
doing, to continue that work.
Meaning what I mean by that iswe don't have to know or we
don't have to see it yetSometimes it really is in that
not seeing it that we wait onhim until faith becomes sight.
So that would be a couple ofobservations that I've taken
away from transition Nobodylikes to wait.
I don't like to wait, no wedon't, but it is a biblical part
(25:35):
of walking with Jesus.
Thank you, guys, so much forjoining us again today for this
very special edition.
And I say that not because ofme but because of Ms Shafer, our
host, now getting to play thepart of guest, and I love that
as well.
As you get to know her a littlebetter and have heard her
spiritual encouragement Again,we'd love to talk to you.
We'd love to know more aboutyou and your family.
(25:56):
So reach out.
I do know that often Ms Shaferon this podcast will make a
statement along these lineswhere she says if you know
somebody who would be a greatguest for our podcast, reach out
, let us know.
We'd love to hear more of thoseideas and suggestions.
Well, please keep listening andwe'll see you next time.
Thanks everybody, bye everybody.
Allen Hester (26:21):
Thank you so much for listening today.
If you have any questions forour guest or would like
information about Northstar,please email us.
At podcast at NSA dot school,we love having guests on our
show and getting to hear theirstories.
If you have anyone in mind thatyou think would be a great
guest to feature, please emailus and let us know.
And don't forget to subscribeso you don't miss out on
(26:45):
upcoming stories.
Hi, this is Stephanie Shafer and you're
listening to the North StarNarrative, a podcast from North
Star Academy.
I want to thank you for joiningus.
I hope you're encouraged,challenged and motivated by what
you learned today.
Enjoy the story.
Stephanie Shafer (00:18):
Hello everybody, welcome to this very
special edition of the NorthStar Narrative.
Now, before you think you're inthe wrong place or listening to
the wrong podcast, I know thevoice you're hearing right now
is different, but don't worry,we have Ms Stephanie Shafer with
us here today.
My name is Allen Hester, I'mthe Spiritual Life Director here
at North Star Academy and Ihave the very special privilege
(00:41):
of interviewing and having aconversation with our director,
ms Shafer privilege ofinterviewing and having a
conversation with our director,ms Shafer, on a topic that I
think many of you will find notonly engaging but also very
relevant to what you may begoing through at the moment.
So, first of all, let me justsay once again how much we
appreciate and value our schooldirector, ms Shafer.
Ms Shafer, welcome and thankyou for joining us today.
Thank you so much.
Allen Hester (01:01):
It's a privilege to be on the other end of the
mic again this time.
Stephanie Shafer (01:05):
So that was going to be my first question is
is it strange to be on theother side of the microphone?
Is it strange to have somebodygrilling you with all those
amazing questions that youusually ask others?
Allen Hester (01:15):
Yeah, no, not anymore, because we've done that
so much through this podcastand through different avenues at
North Star, and so you know,recording man now like 226
podcasts.
That's a lot For me.
It's become pretty just naturaland fun, lots of fun.
So I'm always eager to seewhat's going to happen on each
(01:36):
episode, what God's going to do.
Stephanie Shafer (01:38):
Absolutely so, to all of our listeners.
You've just heard that thereare 226 of these out there and
they cover so many interestingand amazing topics, so I would
encourage you.
If you haven't ever justscrolled through the list and
looked through our differenttopics, please do that.
We'd love to have you lookthere.
I would assume there'ssomething there that might
really really be special to youor applicable to your life and
(02:01):
your situation there, so weencourage you to do that.
All right, ms Shafer, I have aquestion for you.
I'm going to say a word, and Iwant you to tell me some of the
first thoughts that come to yourmind when I say this word, and
that word is transition.
Allen Hester (02:15):
Transition Okay, hard, sad, difficult are the
first ones, but also exciting,fun, adventurous.
I think those are my first fewwords.
Stephanie Shafer (02:29):
Okay, okay, I think those are excellent
choices.
I think one of the thingsthat's interesting about the
word transition is it probablyevokes a different emotion or
thought pattern in every singleperson, based on their own
personal experience, and so weall have been through
transitions, we all have hadmoments in our lives where
things change, and so maybewe've responded differently to
(02:52):
that depending on our personalsituation, but I think you've
hit on some key words there thatare very applicable.
So, ms Shafer, you said hard,difficult, and I think a lot of
people find change to be that.
Why do you think that is?
Allen Hester (03:08):
I think, scary fear of the unknown and just
getting really settled,satisfied, content with the same
thing, sometimes routine is theeasiest choice and so I think,
even though people might want tochange, want to jump out of a
situation, it's just the easiestthing to keep going sometimes.
Stephanie Shafer (03:31):
Excellent points you're making there, yeah
, so I think it is probablytempting to want to stay the
same.
Maybe we have some kind of likedesire to keep things within
our control, or maybe what weperceive as our control.
Of course, as we both know, godis really the ultimate one in
control.
So when transitions happen, wehave to keep that perspective in
(03:51):
mind.
But I think you're right.
A lot of people do find itdifficult.
Would you say that within ourNorth Star community, are you
seeing a lot of transitions inyour term as leader and, if so,
what have been some of therealities that you've had to
face as a leader with thetransitions that are taking
place?
Allen Hester (04:10):
Yeah, there's definitely been transitions,
especially the 23-24 school yearand now the 24-25, which we're
heading into.
There's been positions thateither people have felt like,
hey, it's time God's moving meto a different area which we've
been able to celebrate.
Now it's sad and it's hard, andsometimes you're like, oh,
(04:31):
who's going to fill that gap?
How are we going to pulltogether as a team to do, you
know, to make sure we don't loseanything?
Something's covered.
But God always works that outfor us in really unique ways
that are evident that he's doneit.
But, yeah, it can be sad, butalso it can be exciting, because
God has just shown me reallyclearly that, as Christians, as
(04:52):
people following him, no matterwhere we're working at Northstar
, another school, a church,another ministry, any job out in
the world, it's all.
As we're Christians, you knowit's mission, the mission field,
every day, loving Him, makingHis name known, and so, no
matter where we are, we're doingit all together.
And so sometimes you might beat one place and then God's like
(05:13):
, okay, I'm ready for you to gohere for multiple different
reasons, and so we're stillworking together even though we
might not be in the same place.
Does that make sense?
So he's just gotten me to acontentment with that of knowing
we can celebrate people comingand going and moving and new
seasons, because he is aboutchange.
We see that I think of seasonssummer, spring, winter, you know
(05:36):
, fall, all of those, likethings change.
Stephanie Shafer (05:40):
Absolutely, and that change is necessary for
the next season to come in.
One has to end so that theother can begin, and so, with
that, are there any changesgoing on at North Star that you
want to share with our listeners, who maybe are part of our
school community already?
Maybe they want to know whatare some of the changes that are
happening going forward intothis new school year.
Allen Hester (06:06):
Yeah.
So each year we probablyusually have like a teacher or
two or sometimes more, you knowtransitioning out.
Maybe they have a lot of stuffgoing on with their family or
health issues, or they'rerealizing they want to focus on
their full-time job.
You know, some teachers havefull-time jobs outside of North
Star and it's part-time here,sometimes they're full-time, and
so teachers transition in andout.
Sometimes they've retired andso that's happened in the past
(06:28):
and we have a few teachers thatwe're celebrating that are
transitioning out but we're sothankful for their hard work.
We have three key positions thatare transitioning out of 2425.
That's our Dean of Students,scott Bergeron, who's been here
for a long time, done someincredible work.
God's calling him into brickand mortar school and so he's
leaving online for, you know, atthis season and moving into a
(06:51):
brick and mortar school where Iknow he's going to thrive in
that area as well as he did here.
And then Chuck Deitch istransitioning out.
His heart has been foster carefor a long time, but he came
here.
We needed him for a while toreally help us develop a lot of
programs and and getting thingsin order and just tighten up our
(07:13):
, our safety, because that's soimportant for our students.
But he's transitioning backinto the foster care area where
his heart, you know, just longsand it was a cool development.
So those two are key positions.
And another key position rightaround in that area is our
student success coach and that'stransitioning out and we're,
(07:34):
you know it's because thingsevolve and change.
We're doing things different,still want to help our students
have great success in every area.
So Kimberly Smith is moving outof that area.
But even though they've beenkey, they've been important and
there's many responsibilitiesthey've done.
There still are.
We're just changing things upand doing things in a different
way, trusting God with each oneof them, just like every staff
(07:57):
and teacher that have come andgone.
It's the right timing and theimportant work to do.
So it's super hard and sad, youknow, depending on your
relationship with differentpeople here, to see people leave
and go.
But I'm also excited for whatGod's doing at North Star and,
(08:17):
you know, in their lives,because I think it's important,
like we we are, to rejoice andin all things God calls us that.
So that means even hard, thingsRight and things God calls us
that.
Stephanie Shafer (08:25):
So that means even hard things right, and so
Thank you for that.
You mentioned earlier about thedifficulty and the sadness and
that type of emotion that mightbe evoked.
I think one emotion that alsoarises when change happens is
maybe there's a feeling ofuncertainty and, potentially,
fear.
So for our North Star studentsand their families, is there any
(08:46):
reason to be afraid right now?
Is there anything that weshould be worried about?
Allen Hester (08:51):
No, definitely not , and I know that, not because
of me as the leader, but becauseGod is our leader, and at North
Star that's really true.
We stay true to our mission for27 years.
We seek God and how he wants tomove and change things, keep
things the same, whatever hewants to do, we're really trying
to seek Him.
We are not perfect, so I'm surewe miss things, but we always
(09:15):
want to stay on path every daythat he has for us, and so we
have a plan for our studentsuccess department and the
safety and we have a really goodteam still in place that are
coming together.
And one thing I love aboutNorthstar is everybody just
chips in to see what's neededand helps one another, and we've
(09:37):
been growing in our unity,growing in that as a team and
really communicating well.
I love collaborating with ourteams and working on different
stuff, for instance, theorientation.
So there was change with thatthis year and each year we've
tried to streamline it, tried tomake it just the best it can be
for parents and studentsupervisors to walk through and
(09:59):
really be set up for success,and so I've already had parents
reaching out to me that arereturning.
They're like woohoo, like thisorientation is great and it's
we've kind of minimized some ofthe things for returning parents
so they don't have to do thingsthat they've already learned,
you know, and yeah, so I'mexcited about that.
So that was a change and thatwas.
That's an example of how ourteam collaborated to um, just
(10:22):
make sure everyone is successfulas possible, and I think I'll
put this plug in here Ifeveryone reads their emails, the
communication that we send tothem, actually goes through the
things we have planned out, andtrust us that we've made it the
best we can make it for themoment, they will be successful.
And then also, key, key key isreach out to your teachers, to
(10:43):
staff like you're never alone.
So I always want to give thatplug, especially as we're
starting the new school year.
You are not alone.
We have support teams,spiritual support teams, you
know, it teams and your teachersand everybody that is just
ready to communicate with you,develop a friendship
relationship and help you moveforward in all your academics,
and so don't forget that.
(11:03):
So, even though things arechanging, we're still in place
here to help you, and I'm veryconfident in our team that God
has here.
Stephanie Shafer (11:13):
Absolutely.
You know, I just came back froma visit to Mississippi, where
our home base is for North StarAcademy, and had such a
wonderful time.
We were there for our in-persongraduation celebration weekend,
which is, by the way, guys, yougot to come to that.
It's amazing, it's really aamazing experience, and so I was
(11:33):
able to not only see you there,but many of our faculty and
staff there, and so I want tojust echo and appreciate what
you've just said, in that ourfaculty and staff are so
committed to our students and toour school.
It's amazing to watch them,both online and in person, live
out this calling that they haveon their lives, and so, if
(11:53):
you've never been to ourin-person graduation, it is for
graduates and their families,but it's also a weekend of
reunion and celebration.
We have many alumni who comeback.
We just have a wonderful time.
So I just want to echo that Isee that very much in what
you've just said, that ourfaculty and staff are so willing
to step up and step forward andtry new things and be
innovative, and certainly whenit comes to these changes, I
(12:16):
very much believe that we have asolid plan in place moving
forward and we have some greatpeople that are stepping into
some new areas to support what'sgoing on here.
So kudos to you and yourleadership for making sure that
all our bases are covered andnot just covered, but innovating
and moving forward, which is animportant aspect for us as well
, yeah, that's reminding me.
Allen Hester (12:37):
Okay, our core values.
We're going to do anotherepisode right after this on our
core values and just reallycamping in those.
Yeah.
Stephanie Shafer (12:44):
I think many people when they go through
transition Absolutely I thinkmany people when they go through
transition there is a real partof that that is sadness, that
is grief.
How would you speak to that interms of not only processing it,
but is it wrong to feel thatsadness?
Is it a good thing to feel thatsadness?
And what do we do with thatemotional aspect of transition?
Allen Hester (13:10):
Yeah, that's a good question.
It's definitely not wrong.
God made all of our emotionsand we see Him experience
emotions throughout the Bible.
You know being sad, being angry, you know different things
because he loves His people somuch and just wants to have a
relationship with them, and sohe's given us that desire to
have relationships with peopleand so thinking about
(13:32):
transitions in all differentways not just someone coming to
North Star and leaving NorthStar, but people that you know
live in one country or one placeand then transition back, maybe
to their home country.
But it could be grief intransition and a loss.
That's a transition Like.
There's so many different typesof transitions, so God has
taught me to be present in it,and so I've had things in my
(13:57):
life where I've grieved and hasbeen a transition, a change.
And it's my personality just torun past it, feel shame or guilt
if I have to sit in it and no,no, no, I just got to trust God
and move on.
He's taught me no, that is nothis plan for us, that we do need
to acknowledge it, say it outloud, speak it to him, say
(14:21):
here's where I am, god.
This is what I'm feeling.
I'm just going to sit here andlet you speak to me, let you
minister to me through your word.
You decide the length of thisgrief, of this transition.
You're going to do it, not me,and so there's so much freedom
in that, because it takes awaythe shame and guilt which God's
never planned for us.
(14:41):
Shame, guilt and fear are nevergood advisors, and so I think
that's important to say in thistoo, that we listen to him and
his word and he gave us emotionsfor a reason and to work those
out and to do that inrelationship.
So, finding people that youtrust to walk you through that
and yeah, for as long as thattakes, he's in the process, he's
(15:03):
doing the process and, I think,just trusting him in the
process.
Stephanie Shafer (15:09):
Powerful, powerful statements you've made
there.
I love what you're saying thatour feelings are valid in the
sense that they are real andthey are.
Our emotions are not to be ranaway from, but they are to be
put under the lordship of Christ.
Right, that idea of allowingJesus to not only guide us but
(15:30):
also to be with us in our griefand to acknowledge it to him,
while at the same time choosingin faith to trust that he is
Lord, in spite of where we mayfeel in any given moment.
Allen Hester (15:41):
So, listening to him, you got to listen, and when
he's pulling you to dosomething or walk out of
something, you do that.
You know it's all aboutlistening, being present with
Him and then obeying.
Stephanie Shafer (15:52):
Absolutely, absolutely Well.
We have a lot of families hereat North Star that are in
transition.
They may be moving from onecountry to another, they may be
closing out a season of ministryin one place, and sometimes
that is done, you know, in a waythat it's planned.
They have months, maybe years,to look forward and plan it.
(16:13):
This past year I spoke withsome students who very suddenly
had to leave a ministry stationthat they were involved in, and
so there wasn't a lot of time tothink about it, process it.
It was kind of a necessity movethat happened quickly.
So, regardless of whether it'sa long term plan or or, you know
, maybe students or families arekind of in a place of shock and
(16:36):
trying to adjust to tosomething that happened very
abruptly, right, what tips orwhat advice would you give to
those families today that arelistening and struggling with
this idea of transition?
Yeah, it's hard.
Allen Hester (16:50):
The easy thing would be oh, just trust God,
he's going to work it all out,which I totally believe.
But that's not always the rightanswer to say to people.
Sometimes it's not to speak atall.
Sometimes it's just to sit withthem.
Right, sit with them and nottry to come up with a reason and
a plan for them, but just tosit.
And so that's where it goesback to.
You really just have to lookwhere you are, look around you.
(17:14):
God's always present, he'salways working.
Sometimes we need to stop andbe still and look and listening.
Okay, god, you may tell me whythis is happening.
You may not.
You may reveal a lot of what'scoming or you may reveal very
little, um, and so I think thatthat's the hard part in the
(17:36):
transition, because a lot oftimes we want to go why, god why
?
But I think he welcomes that.
He wants us to have thatconversation and to and to learn
and to grow, and so I reallythink it's hard to grow in easy,
easy times.
It is very easy to grow in hardtimes because it's change, it's
(17:57):
things we don't want to have todeal with.
But as we press into him, he isdoing great works, he is
increasing our faith.
So I would just say he is doinggreat works.
He is increasing our faith.
So I would just say, goingthrough that, just acknowledging
it, yes, this is so hard.
I don't want to be goingthrough this God, but I need you
to put that trust and faith inme.
I don't have it.
You put it in me so that I cantrust you in this process that
(18:21):
you are doing all things good.
And Romans 8, 28 says God worksall things for good.
So that's including whateveryou're going through right now.
He works all things for good tothose who love him and are
called according to his purpose.
So his children he loves and welove him because he first loved
us.
And so in that love you knowfor us he is working.
(18:44):
We can trust him.
Psalms 37, 4 says delightyourself in the Lord and he will
give you the desires of yourheart.
It is hard to delight whenyou're in a hard transition.
Right, rejoice in all things.
He says all things.
So even hard transitions, wecan't do that.
We have to come to him and behonest and real and vulnerable.
(19:05):
I can't, god, I don't want totrust you.
I don't want to.
You know whatever this isfeeling and you've got to put it
in me.
You put it in me because it'sthe right, it's the right thing
and I'm going to grow as you'rechanging my heart in that.
So I don't know if that's justone tip, but I mean, that is the
heart and so I believe in Godthat he wants to just be the
molder, the potter.
(19:25):
We're the clay and as we say,yes, god, it's just not feel
good to be molded.
I don't want a tea handle on myteacup, I don't know.
The first thing that came tomind.
You know, when you're molding,something like that hurts that
(19:46):
surgery.
But oh, just trusting his heart, maybe when you can't see his
hand.
That's an old song, I'm sure,Allen, you know that.
I can just tell you fromexperience it gets sweeter and
sweeter every time, moreintimate each time, to the point
that you're saying bring it on.
I don't know what I'm reallyasking for, but oh, I'm going to
grow so much with you and it'sgoing to be so intimate.
Anyway, I'm talking a long timeabout that, but it's from real,
personal, deep experience withHim.
Stephanie Shafer (20:09):
Absolutely.
I love that and I reallyappreciate that emphasis on
there are some things that wecan't know in the depth of
relationship with the Lordunless we go through some hard
times, and so that going throughthe difficulty is part of that
refiner's fire that he wants toput into our life and purify and
draw us into deeper trust anddeeper relationships.
(20:29):
So I think what I'm hearingfrom you is hold on, hold on and
trust God, don't give up.
Allen Hester (20:36):
And when you can't trust, you ask him to put the
trust in you.
He's the one that puts thatfruit of faith in us.
So it's okay if you don't feeltrust right now.
It's okay if your faith is tiny, tiny, tiny.
Just ask him to increase yourfaith and he will.
He knows right where you are.
So I think that's the biggestthing and that's been hard for
me to learn, to sit in it and beokay with where I am, because
(21:00):
God knows.
Stephanie Shafer (21:02):
Yeah, amen, absolutely Well.
Thank you so much.
This is a topic we probablycould speak on for hours and
hours and hours, because there'sso many levels to it and so
much, just so many differentavenues or paths we could take
in talking about it, but I thinkone of the main things that we
want to take away today for ourNorth Star community that's
(21:23):
already part of our school groupis please reach out.
Please reach out to our facultyand staff if there's any way
that we can support you in thesetimes of transition.
Also, be encouraged.
North Star is amazing and doingwell and continuing to move
forward with innovation andexcitement for the future.
Also, maybe there are peopletoday listening who are not
(21:45):
currently part of our schoolcommunity.
We want to invite you to comejoin us.
We have an amazing communityhere that is really God's doing
something special here, and Iwould love for you to be part of
it and check us out.
So go to our website, check usout, call us, whatever you can
do to contact us.
We would love to share moreabout this amazing opportunity
(22:07):
that we have here at North.
Star Academy with your family.
So, ms Shafer, any last wordstoday as we close out.
Allen Hester (22:13):
Well, I want to ask you the same question,
because you have lived overseasfor 10 years and then moved back
to America, so that's a hugetransition going and then coming
back even bigger.
And then also, you're doing astudy right now and you're
actually leading our staffthrough a study and we're in the
transition chapter, and so Idon't think that's coincidence
(22:35):
that you're interviewing me onthis now.
We're talking about that.
So what have you learnedthrough all of that that you
would want to share?
Stephanie Shafer (22:42):
Yeah, thank you for the chance to share a
little bit there.
I think one of the major thingsthat I'm taking away when I
think about transition and as Istudy this is that God has new
things.
There's always new thingsbecause we move in seasons.
Right, we're in this season andthen God brings a new season.
That was the illustration usedearlier.
(23:03):
For that new season to happen,something has to die or
something has to go away so thatsomething new can come in.
We can't just constantly addnew because we only have so much
life right, so so much time inour life.
So within that, I think one ofthe beautiful illustrations is
that the death always precedesresurrection and God is always
(23:27):
bringing new life.
He's talking about givingabundant life and new life, and
so for those who are perhapsstruggling with the letting go
piece of this is what I know,this is what I've loved, this
was amazing in one season, butto be willing to release that
and say, but God, I trust youand I trust your leading and I'm
going to follow that, and say,but God, I trust you and I trust
your leading and I'm going tofollow you in faith into that
(23:48):
new season.
So when we release and let go.
God can bring new things in.
The other thing that I would sayis for those who are in times
of transition recognize thatthere is often an in-between
time, which is where we don'talways end one thing and
immediately start a new one,right?
Sometimes there's thistransitional transition.
There's the word time in themiddle.
(24:09):
That's an in-between time, andoften that time is just what you
spoke about.
It's a time period where wedon't have all the answers, we
don't know what God is doing, wedon't know what's going to
happen next week or next monthor next year, and so in that
in-between time, that is theplace and the invitation to draw
near to God, to really drawnear to Him and to say Lord, I
(24:32):
trust in you more than I trustin my circumstances.
I trust in you more than Itrust in my knowledge of what is
coming.
I trust in you more than in myability to work it out or figure
it out, and I think it reallyis in those seasons of
in-between that we really,really, really get to a deeper
place in our faith and our trustin Him, just what you spoke
(24:53):
about earlier, ms Shafer, thatidea of in there.
So if you are in an in-betweenspace where you are closing out
one season and you don't knowwhat's coming next, but you know
that God is bringing you into anew thing.
I would just encourage youtrust to know that he is God, he
is capable, he's got it undercontrol and he doesn't need our
permission, nor ouracknowledgement of what he's
(25:15):
doing, to continue that work.
Meaning what I mean by that iswe don't have to know or we
don't have to see it yetSometimes it really is in that
not seeing it that we wait onhim until faith becomes sight.
So that would be a couple ofobservations that I've taken
away from transition Nobodylikes to wait.
I don't like to wait, no wedon't, but it is a biblical part
(25:35):
of walking with Jesus.
Thank you, guys, so much forjoining us again today for this
very special edition.
And I say that not because ofme but because of Ms Shafer, our
host, now getting to play thepart of guest, and I love that
as well.
As you get to know her a littlebetter and have heard her
spiritual encouragement Again,we'd love to talk to you.
We'd love to know more aboutyou and your family.
(25:56):
So reach out.
I do know that often Ms Shaferon this podcast will make a
statement along these lineswhere she says if you know
somebody who would be a greatguest for our podcast, reach out
, let us know.
We'd love to hear more of thoseideas and suggestions.
Well, please keep listening andwe'll see you next time.
Thanks everybody, bye everybody.
Allen Hester (26:21):
Thank you so much for listening today.
If you have any questions forour guest or would like
information about Northstar,please email us.
At podcast at NSA dot school,we love having guests on our
show and getting to hear theirstories.
If you have anyone in mind thatyou think would be a great
guest to feature, please emailus and let us know.
And don't forget to subscribeso you don't miss out on
(26:45):
upcoming stories.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.