November 26, 2024 • 24 mins
Embracing gratitude can transform how we navigate life's hardships. Join us as we chat with Tina Tandy on her retirement and discuss the power of thankfulness during tough times. Listen as Tina and Stephanie share heartfelt reflections that inspire us to maintain our faith and embrace a broader perspective, finding peace and joy amidst the trials. With Thanksgiving around the corner, it's the perfect moment to appreciate the community and the warmth it brings, even when life feels overwhelming.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, this is Stephanie Schaefer and you're listening
to the North Star Narrative, apodcast from North Star Academy.
I want to thank you for joiningus.
I hope you're encouraged,challenged and motivated by what
you learned today.
Enjoy the story.
Hey everybody, how's it going?
Hope you're great, wherever youare in the world listening.
(00:23):
We because I have someone elsehere with me today, tina Tandy,
who works at Northstar we'regoing to record in November
that's the month right now I'mrecording one for November 27th
that's when it'll go out, andthat is Thanksgiving week for
those of us that are in the USand celebrate the Thanksgiving
holiday.
(00:44):
So we always like to do alittle Thanksgiving episode and
a Christmas episode.
You know when the holidays arearound us, and so it's always
fun just to take a moment toreflect and hopefully, as you're
listening, you can reflect aswell.
So I've asked Tina Tandy tohelp me record this one for
several reasons One, so I cansay how thankful I am for her,
(01:05):
but also she can spend a fewmoments reflecting on North Star
and what it's meant to her andthen interview me with a few
questions about what it's liketo be thankful, maybe when you
don't even want to feel anythankfulness and I think we've
probably talked about thatbefore on the podcast, because
it is a really true situationfor many people.
(01:26):
And so, yeah, super, superthankful for Tina.
She has worked with Northstarfor a decade now and helped me
and the Northstar community inso many ways.
She's always been incredible tojust bless our parents and new
people when they're checking outNorthstar and then to work with
all of our staff and so manyareas in our customer support,
(01:50):
through the office, throughfinances.
There's really not many areasthat Tina's great mind and
skills and love for the Lord donot touch, and so I wanted to
spend a few minutes saying howthankful I am for her because
she is going to be moving on atthe end of this year, so she
will be finishing out her decadewith Northstar at the end of
(02:10):
December of 2024.
So, yeah, super, super thankfulfor her as a friend inside and
outside of Northstar, and I knowNorthstar has meant so much to
her and she's been able to liveout the great commission through
Northstar, and so she mightwant to share a little bit of
what it looks like to move outof something you really loved
(02:32):
and enjoyed and know that youhave been such a valuable part
that God has been able to workthrough her and praying with
people and loving on people andjust helping people find the
right choice, the next step, foreducation for them and their
children.
And so, yeah, we could talk alot about how thankful we are
for friends in our lives andcoworkers, and just those of us
(02:55):
that are in the trenchestogether here for Kingdom Works.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
So thanks, tina.
Thank you, stephanie yes, it'sgreat to be here with you today,
and thank you for all that you,stephanie, yes, it's great to
be here with you today, andthank you for all that you just
shared.
I have truly loved my 10 yearshere at North Star Academy.
It has been such a blessing inmy life and just the opportunity
to work with some amazingpeople that I get to call
friends, and it just hasn't feltlike a job, and that's what I
(03:24):
love about it.
When you truly enjoy whatyou're doing, it doesn't feel
like work.
It doesn't feel like a job.
It truly has been a wonderfulministry to be a part of, and
not just the amazing staff andfaculty that I've gotten to
spend time with, but also somany parents and students that
I've gotten to know over the 10years and have really enjoyed
some of those friendships andhope to continue those.
(03:46):
Even after my time at North Starhas ended, I hope to still come
back from year to year and be apart of graduation and get to
see some of these families inperson that I've interacted with
for years now, and so I amthankful that, even though I'm
not going to be working here atNorth Star anymore.
I still am in the South Havenarea and can still participate
in things like that.
(04:07):
But, yes, god is good and Ihave felt him calling me to just
the next phase of life and,even though there's a lot of
mixed emotions and I will missso many things about Northstar
Academy, I am also lookingforward to what God has in store
for me next and so store for menext.
(04:28):
And so, yes, thank you forallowing me to share that.
So I just have to start byasking you why did you decide to
tackle the topic of beingthankful in crappy situations
right here at Thanksgiving, withit right around the corner?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Because sometimes life is just that right.
We can fill in the blank withhard, difficult, but sometimes
we get to the point in lifewhere we're literally on the
floor grabbing the carpet sayingI give up, I don't know what's
next.
And there's been lots ofmoments in my life now being a
half of a century old that I'vegrabbed that carpet, and whether
(05:04):
it's I'm not happy withsomething or I'm totally
confused, or I just don't have apath, or you know, basically
it's me just making it all aboutmyself at all times.
And so when we find ourselvesunable to be thankful and
grateful, in my experience it'sbecause I'm just looking at my
circumstances, all about me,forgetting to place my eyes on
(05:26):
Jesus' eternity and all thathe's called us to do.
And so how many times do I makethose situations that I find
myself in?
Because God's word says torejoice in everything, be
thankful in everything, prayabout everything.
And when we're doing those,even though the situation could
(05:46):
be completely terrible in everyway, um, we do have that peace
that surpasses all understandingand that joy.
And so for me, this is always atopic to talk about, because
either I'm in a rough situation,someone, my family, a friend,
north star there's always peoplein hard situations, right,
especially if you're in ministry.
If some of my family, a friend,north Star, there's always
people in hard situations, right, especially if you're in
(06:07):
ministry, if you're working withpeople, someone you know is
going through somethingdifficult, and so that's why
this is always a topic that Iwant to talk about.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah.
So all right, let's be real.
What are some of those hardestsituations to feel thankful in?
I mean, like you said, there'sa lot of hard situations, but
what are some of those that arejust extra heavy?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
How do you?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
handle them.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
How's Angela Mojo?
I have to be really honest.
Did you tell me to be honest orbe a little honest?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I said, let's be real here.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Oh gosh, I don't know .
So different things probablycome to our minds, like whether
it's families, work situations,things not going the way you see
them going, so I don't know.
Let's say, you know, you justhave a situation where it's so
tough, it's like you do not seehow it's going to work out Apart
(06:59):
from God.
This is not going to surviveApart from God, and I love that.
But God, because we see thatlots of times in scripture where
it looks like it's never goingto work out, A human's not going
to be able to transform asituation or change someone else
or whatever it's needed.
But then it says but God, andhe always does go in and change
(07:24):
situations.
So, whether it's been a healthsituation or a work situation or
something that just lookedimpossible, um, he's always.
He's always come through,usually in in ways that were
unexpected.
Or, you know, I've learned topray Not my will be done, but
(07:44):
your will be done.
I actually don't wantStephanie's will to be done,
because I know from lots ofyears of experience it's not
going to be the right, it's notgoing to be the best, it's not
probably anywhere near whatGod's plans are.
So I know I'm not answering aspecific thing, because I think
it's just this bigger of.
It doesn't matter what thesituation is.
(08:05):
We could all sit here and spitout a lot of situations, but
it's really comes down to not mywill be done but yours, Lord.
And getting to that point whereyou are grabbing the carpet or
the hardwood floor, whatever,totally prostrate before the
Lord and like here I am exceptfor you, but God, here I am
except for you, but God, thisisn't going to make it.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, so what about a personal story?
Have a time maybe, when youfound it personally hard to be
thankful.
You were just wrapped up in thecircumstances.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
You keep pushing me for a real story.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I am, that's what you do when you're the host of the
circumstances.
You keep pushing me for a realstory.
I am.
That's what you do when you'rethe host of the podcast.
I know.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
It's so much harder when I'm on the other side,
which, if you've listened tosome, you know Alan Hester, our
spiritual life director, andRachel Kniep used to be our
principal have gotten me on here.
When I'm thinking about myfamily, I think about my
youngest, who's now nine, andI'm when he was born.
(09:09):
So I have two older girls.
If y'all been listening, youknow that they're graduated from
college, one's married, andthen I have a son.
So Charlie and I, we've beenmarried for what?
Almost 28 years Now.
We have a 25, a 23, and then anine year old, and there was a
gap between those.
We actually were pregnant twiceafter the girls, but we lost
(09:32):
both of those babies and sodidn't think we'd ever have
another kid, and sure not alittle boy.
But we really wanted to have ason and surprisingly, um, we
found out we were having Holton,and so I was super excited.
But I was scared because, youknow, I was a little bit older
(09:53):
and haven't already lost twobabies but, we believed in faith
and we're thankful for thishappening.
And and then everything wasgoing great.
But at 20 weeks, a lot of timesthey'll do like a full
ultrasound, where they'rechecking out every organ, every
part of the baby, and they did.
And they found out that Holtonhad two kidneys, but one was not
(10:16):
developed and functioning inany sort of way, and the other
one was functioning a littlegood, a little, a little correct
, but not totally, and so therewas a good chance he wasn't
going to make it.
Um, but there was a smallchance that he would make it,
and so that's really hard atthat moment, like, oh my, we got
to 20 weeks, we're going tohave a boy, because we found out
(10:38):
early that it was a boy andthen we might not have him
anymore all of a sudden.
And so I mean, that's always arisk all the time, but we had a
specific reason why he might notlive, and so I remember each
night going to bed, probablythroughout the day.
I just remember, though, eachnight and I would say, okay,
(11:00):
lord, this baby is yours,whatever you want to do with him
.
And so I had to find a way, bethankful even if he lived.
You know 30 weeks didn't makeit, whatever.
It was finding a way in thatmoment to thank the Lord for his
perfect plan.
(11:20):
And so, um, yeah, I think myway was at nighttime, saying
this is your child, this is yourgift.
You're have completely formedhim in the womb, you know what
is working, what is not and howthe outcome is going to be, and
just thanking him for that andsaying your will be done.
(11:42):
That was something I had to doevery day, every night just
continue to center back on him.
And he gave the grace.
So he actually gives us thegrace in the moments to be
thankful.
I mean, we can't in ourself andI remember each, I can see it,
I can see me, you know, eachnight and him giving that grace
(12:04):
and that trust and that faith.
He had to put it in me to justlet go.
So I think some, uh, you know,being able to be thankful is
letting go.
So I think being able to bethankful is letting go.
And it's back to that point ofyour will be done, not mine, and
he made it and he's still hereand he's nine years old and,
best case scenario, the badkidney, the body dissolved it.
(12:25):
I mean just incredible the wayGod has created our bodies, that
it took care of itself anddidn't have to have surgery.
And the other kidney isfunctioning not 100%, but really
well, and it's actually growingbigger than just a normal
kidney would because it'scompensating for not having the
other.
So again, the body.
And so even in that hard time,we can be so thankful that God
(12:49):
has given us incredible bodiesthat do heal themselves in so
many ways.
And, yeah, we see his goodnessand his grace.
And here's a really cool thingin that, because God is working
even in the tough moments,always, and if we just look and
learn to be present in themoment.
And so I had always wanted toname a boy Holton, if we had one
(13:13):
, because my dad's middle namewas Holton and I just love that
name.
And so we did Holton.
And then the girls both have abiblical name, so we did Isaiah
for his middle name and thenSchaefer, and so his initials
were his H-I-S.
That was decided before wefound out about the kidney, s.
That was decided before wefound out about the kidney and
(13:36):
um.
So I was also able to say inthat prayer he truly is yours,
his um, and so that meant somuch.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Yeah, that's a good one, though.
That's a good example.
And you know, I'm sure there'ssome people that are listening
and and still feeling like, wow,um, gratitude, can I mean?
It's still hard at times andyou know you were able to get
through that season with yourconstant communication with the
Lord and that's why you said youknow he gave you the grace to
handle that, but it's becauseyou were in constant
(14:05):
communication with him andturning it over to him.
And you know, I think aboutsome practical steps and I think
about, um, just, you know whenpeople talk about keeping
gratitude journals and you knowwhen, when things are hard and
difficult all around you, if youstop long enough and take your
focus off of the difficultcircumstances, you can always
(14:27):
find something to be gratefulfor.
And maybe keeping a journal or alog of you know what are some
of those things you're gratefulfor, and it doesn't even have to
be huge things Sometimes.
I've given the example beforeand talking with people about I
love clean sheets on the bed,and so one thing I'm thankful
for is when I can smell cleansheets on my bed.
I know that there are peopleout there that don't have a bed,
(14:49):
let alone clean sheets on theirbed.
So you know being grateful forthe beautiful weather, the
sunshine, the cool breeze, thecoffee you get to drink in the
morning, whatever it may be.
But keeping a gratitude journalis one of those practical steps
that I've heard of before thathelp a lot of people when
they're down in the dumps andthey're focused on all the
negativity around them, beingable to shift from the hard
(15:12):
stuff to find what can we bethankful for.
So why is it important?
I mean, why do we need to bethankful in difficult times?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, and I'm still focused back on that story that
I just shared, because no matterwhat story you have or your
friends have or you've seen ormight come, sometimes the
outcome is not to have Holton, anine-year-old little boy, you
know, I mean it could haveturned out really different,
unlike our other two babies.
(15:43):
So I can talk about it reallyfrom both ways, since we did
lose two children before andthen actually having, you know,
one that survived after thosetwo.
But it could be anything.
It could be losing a parent ora friend or anything.
When you talk about death, major, major grieving like that,
(16:07):
having to leave a country thatyou're serving in all of a
sudden overnight, or being firedfrom a job, I mean there's so
many things that are just reallymaybe immediate shock that you
have to walk through, and sojust realizing that that
sometimes the outcome is notwhat you want, and how do you,
how do you move on then?
(16:28):
And so gratitude is soimportant, because without
gratitude we can't move on.
And so it's okay in that momentand you have to, you need to
acknowledge all the feelings andemotions, everything you're
walking through, and give thatto God to be able to just say it
(16:49):
all Come to him in thatintimate relationship that he
wants to have with you andgrabbing the carpet on your
knees, just bearing your soul,everything, lifting it up to him
, being able to speak it, andjust sitting in it, not trying
to escape it, not trying to runfrom it, not trying to.
Oh, I'm a Christian, so I don't, I can't feel this way.
(17:10):
No, you can feel that waybecause that's you're in the
middle of it and that's thatcrappy situation where you're
just like God, I don't like this, I don't want to have to deal
with this, I don't want to go on, you know, and and in that
you're like, but God, you, youcome in Jesus and you bring the
grace and you bring the truthand lay out the path and help me
(17:33):
sit in the grieving in eachstep, for however long you want,
and not rushing that, and sofinding thankfulness in the
really tough, hard grievingtimes, I think and you have to
have that Maybe that foundationis so important before those
(17:53):
tough, hard times hit.
So learning to be thankful forour sunrise, for a sunset, for
the little things, coffee Inever used to drink coffee,
maybe as a dessert, rarely, butnot on an every morning basis,
until I became the director atNorthstar.
Um, and being the head ofanything is super, super hard
(18:16):
and I needed just a littlemoment of comfort.
So for some reason I latchedonto coffee and in that few
moments of comfort of holdingthat hot cup of coffee, taking
that time to make that cup ofcoffee, maybe having some little
half and half or something init Um, I don't know that was
just a moment I was superthankful to have.
And so I think even findingmoments each day of just
(18:42):
something little and beingthankful in that can mean so
much and then it can be therefor you to hold on to in those
really, really tough times.
But basically it's just back tosurrendering all and even
saying I'm not thankful rightnow, god, I'm not thankful for
this, um, but turn my heart intothankfulness and gratefulness
(19:06):
and trusting you, um, yeah.
So I think what I'm reallysaying is you got to be
vulnerable, honest, real, whichis what we talk about on a lot
of these podcasts honest, real,which is what we talk about on a
lot of these podcasts.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, and don't you love that?
God gives us those emotions andhe can handle them.
He wants us to share them withthem.
We can be honest about our howwe're feeling.
I love that he gave us all ofthose emotions that we have.
So how can someone be thankfulwithout pretending everything is
okay?
Is it okay to be honest aboutour struggles?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yep, you definitely have to be fully, completely
honest with God, because heknows it anyway.
He already knows everythingthat's happened, what's going on
in your heart, what's to come.
He knows all kinds of thingsyou don't know.
So, being honest with him,honest with ourselves, asking
him to help us be honest, andthen those around you I pray
that everyone listening has somereally really close friends,
(20:00):
family, that you can also behonest with at least one person
and, if not, just pray for that.
He is so faithful and good togive you friends and family when
you need that and he will.
So just pray, pray for that.
And if you do have that in yourlife, stop, stop this podcast
right now and just thank God.
That's something that you canbe super thankful for, for those
(20:23):
people's faces that come toyour mind that you know you can
go and share everything with andcause.
We need that.
He made us for community,community with him, community
with others in our lives, and sojust really building that in is
so, so important, and I knowthere's been times in my life
where I've had a lot ofcommunity and then time when
maybe not so much, and sometimesthere are those maybe droughts
(20:46):
in community for the moment sothat we will fully be reliant on
him and our community is himand when we have that, it's much
easier for us to be really goodcommunity for others when
loving people and listening andsharing with them comes out of a
grateful, thankful heart thathe is creating in us by that
(21:08):
transforming power that he hasthrough a relationship with us,
absolutely.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
One last thing and then.
I'll let you off the hook AnyBible verses that come to mind
that just they personallyencourage you during those
difficult seasons.
What do you cling to?
Is there one that comes to mind?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, always Proverbs 3, 5, and 6.
That's probably been the verseI've shared more than anything
and quoted and just relied ontrusting the verse I've shared
more than anything and quotedand just relied on trusting the
Lord with all your heart.
Lean not on your ownunderstanding, but in all your
ways acknowledge him and he willmake your path straight.
So when the path seems dark,when it seems crooked, when it
seems chaotic, I can ask myselfam I trusting the Lord with all
(21:52):
my heart, not just a little tinybit, but everything?
Because when we do, he's goingto put those desires in our
hearts, like Psalm 34 says,psalm 37, four says delight
yourself in the Lord, he'll giveyou desires of heart.
So if we're trusting in him, weare delighting in him.
If we're looking to him, we'redelighting in him and he's going
(22:12):
to put the desires in our heartand that would be thankful
desires along with all otherthings that match up with his
plan, his way, his word.
You don't have to have versescompletely memorized, but God
will bring up chunks of it andthings you know just the right
time.
So you do need to be in theword.
The word is everything.
(22:33):
That's where the gratefulness,a big part of it's going to come
from, because, as we're in that, reading about his love, about
what Jesus has done, seeing thegospel, and that we have
salvation, eternal life throughJesus that he would lay are in
our own selves and our thinking,and and back to how I started
(22:59):
off super consumed withourselves and comfort and and
focused on ourselves.
But Jesus knew all of that andhe still laid his life down for
me and for you, and so beingthankful for Jesus, for God's
plan, for his best, um, is justthe way we have to continually
turn back to and you, me,everybody.
(23:21):
It's hard, it doesn't happenall the time, it's not easy, but
in that messiness of life maybethat's a better word Messiness,
yeah, just clinging to him andthe community he's given us.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
You know, a lot of times we pray and we want God to
answer, but the purpose of itis to align our hearts with his,
and I think that's just a goodreminder.
Thank you so much for sharing.
It's fun to have you on theother side of these podcasts and
hear your heart.
So thank you so much forsharing today.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Well, thank you for being on here and just thank you
for your incredible dedicationand service to God's mission
across the globe through NorthStar.
You'll be deeply missed, but Iknow that you've set in motion
so many incredible things forthe North Star community, and so
everyone will continue to livethose out and just be thankful
for you and all that you'vegiven.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Thank you, y'all have a great day.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Thank you so much for listening today.
If you have any questions forour guest or like information
about North Star, please emailus.
At podcast at NSA dot school,we love having guests on our
show and getting to hear theirstories.
If you have anyone in mind thatyou think would be a great
guest to feature, please emailus and let us know.
And don't forget to subscribeso you don't miss out on
(24:51):
upcoming stories.
Hi, this is Stephanie Schaefer and you're listening
to the North Star Narrative, apodcast from North Star Academy.
I want to thank you for joiningus.
I hope you're encouraged,challenged and motivated by what
you learned today.
Enjoy the story.
Hey everybody, how's it going?
Hope you're great, wherever youare in the world listening.
(00:23):
We because I have someone elsehere with me today, tina Tandy,
who works at Northstar we'regoing to record in November
that's the month right now I'mrecording one for November 27th
that's when it'll go out, andthat is Thanksgiving week for
those of us that are in the USand celebrate the Thanksgiving
holiday.
(00:44):
So we always like to do alittle Thanksgiving episode and
a Christmas episode.
You know when the holidays arearound us, and so it's always
fun just to take a moment toreflect and hopefully, as you're
listening, you can reflect aswell.
So I've asked Tina Tandy tohelp me record this one for
several reasons One, so I cansay how thankful I am for her,
(01:05):
but also she can spend a fewmoments reflecting on North Star
and what it's meant to her andthen interview me with a few
questions about what it's liketo be thankful, maybe when you
don't even want to feel anythankfulness and I think we've
probably talked about thatbefore on the podcast, because
it is a really true situationfor many people.
(01:26):
And so, yeah, super, superthankful for Tina.
She has worked with Northstarfor a decade now and helped me
and the Northstar community inso many ways.
She's always been incredible tojust bless our parents and new
people when they're checking outNorthstar and then to work with
all of our staff and so manyareas in our customer support,
(01:50):
through the office, throughfinances.
There's really not many areasthat Tina's great mind and
skills and love for the Lord donot touch, and so I wanted to
spend a few minutes saying howthankful I am for her because
she is going to be moving on atthe end of this year, so she
will be finishing out her decadewith Northstar at the end of
(02:10):
December of 2024.
So, yeah, super, super thankfulfor her as a friend inside and
outside of Northstar, and I knowNorthstar has meant so much to
her and she's been able to liveout the great commission through
Northstar, and so she mightwant to share a little bit of
what it looks like to move outof something you really loved
(02:32):
and enjoyed and know that youhave been such a valuable part
that God has been able to workthrough her and praying with
people and loving on people andjust helping people find the
right choice, the next step, foreducation for them and their
children.
And so, yeah, we could talk alot about how thankful we are
for friends in our lives andcoworkers, and just those of us
(02:55):
that are in the trenchestogether here for Kingdom Works.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
So thanks, tina.
Thank you, stephanie yes, it'sgreat to be here with you today,
and thank you for all that you,stephanie, yes, it's great to
be here with you today, andthank you for all that you just
shared.
I have truly loved my 10 yearshere at North Star Academy.
It has been such a blessing inmy life and just the opportunity
to work with some amazingpeople that I get to call
friends, and it just hasn't feltlike a job, and that's what I
(03:24):
love about it.
When you truly enjoy whatyou're doing, it doesn't feel
like work.
It doesn't feel like a job.
It truly has been a wonderfulministry to be a part of, and
not just the amazing staff andfaculty that I've gotten to
spend time with, but also somany parents and students that
I've gotten to know over the 10years and have really enjoyed
some of those friendships andhope to continue those.
(03:46):
Even after my time at North Starhas ended, I hope to still come
back from year to year and be apart of graduation and get to
see some of these families inperson that I've interacted with
for years now, and so I amthankful that, even though I'm
not going to be working here atNorth Star anymore.
I still am in the South Havenarea and can still participate
in things like that.
(04:07):
But, yes, god is good and Ihave felt him calling me to just
the next phase of life and,even though there's a lot of
mixed emotions and I will missso many things about Northstar
Academy, I am also lookingforward to what God has in store
for me next and so store for menext.
(04:28):
And so, yes, thank you forallowing me to share that.
So I just have to start byasking you why did you decide to
tackle the topic of beingthankful in crappy situations
right here at Thanksgiving, withit right around the corner?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Because sometimes life is just that right.
We can fill in the blank withhard, difficult, but sometimes
we get to the point in lifewhere we're literally on the
floor grabbing the carpet sayingI give up, I don't know what's
next.
And there's been lots ofmoments in my life now being a
half of a century old that I'vegrabbed that carpet, and whether
(05:04):
it's I'm not happy withsomething or I'm totally
confused, or I just don't have apath, or you know, basically
it's me just making it all aboutmyself at all times.
And so when we find ourselvesunable to be thankful and
grateful, in my experience it'sbecause I'm just looking at my
circumstances, all about me,forgetting to place my eyes on
(05:26):
Jesus' eternity and all thathe's called us to do.
And so how many times do I makethose situations that I find
myself in?
Because God's word says torejoice in everything, be
thankful in everything, prayabout everything.
And when we're doing those,even though the situation could
(05:46):
be completely terrible in everyway, um, we do have that peace
that surpasses all understandingand that joy.
And so for me, this is always atopic to talk about, because
either I'm in a rough situation,someone, my family, a friend,
north star there's always peoplein hard situations, right,
especially if you're in ministry.
If some of my family, a friend,north Star, there's always
people in hard situations, right, especially if you're in
(06:07):
ministry, if you're working withpeople, someone you know is
going through somethingdifficult, and so that's why
this is always a topic that Iwant to talk about.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah.
So all right, let's be real.
What are some of those hardestsituations to feel thankful in?
I mean, like you said, there'sa lot of hard situations, but
what are some of those that arejust extra heavy?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
How do you?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
handle them.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
How's Angela Mojo?
I have to be really honest.
Did you tell me to be honest orbe a little honest?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I said, let's be real here.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Oh gosh, I don't know .
So different things probablycome to our minds, like whether
it's families, work situations,things not going the way you see
them going, so I don't know.
Let's say, you know, you justhave a situation where it's so
tough, it's like you do not seehow it's going to work out Apart
(06:59):
from God.
This is not going to surviveApart from God, and I love that.
But God, because we see thatlots of times in scripture where
it looks like it's never goingto work out, A human's not going
to be able to transform asituation or change someone else
or whatever it's needed.
But then it says but God, andhe always does go in and change
(07:24):
situations.
So, whether it's been a healthsituation or a work situation or
something that just lookedimpossible, um, he's always.
He's always come through,usually in in ways that were
unexpected.
Or, you know, I've learned topray Not my will be done, but
(07:44):
your will be done.
I actually don't wantStephanie's will to be done,
because I know from lots ofyears of experience it's not
going to be the right, it's notgoing to be the best, it's not
probably anywhere near whatGod's plans are.
So I know I'm not answering aspecific thing, because I think
it's just this bigger of.
It doesn't matter what thesituation is.
(08:05):
We could all sit here and spitout a lot of situations, but
it's really comes down to not mywill be done but yours, Lord.
And getting to that point whereyou are grabbing the carpet or
the hardwood floor, whatever,totally prostrate before the
Lord and like here I am exceptfor you, but God, here I am
except for you, but God, thisisn't going to make it.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, so what about a personal story?
Have a time maybe, when youfound it personally hard to be
thankful.
You were just wrapped up in thecircumstances.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
You keep pushing me for a real story.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I am, that's what you do when you're the host of the
circumstances.
You keep pushing me for a realstory.
I am.
That's what you do when you'rethe host of the podcast.
I know.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
It's so much harder when I'm on the other side,
which, if you've listened tosome, you know Alan Hester, our
spiritual life director, andRachel Kniep used to be our
principal have gotten me on here.
When I'm thinking about myfamily, I think about my
youngest, who's now nine, andI'm when he was born.
(09:09):
So I have two older girls.
If y'all been listening, youknow that they're graduated from
college, one's married, andthen I have a son.
So Charlie and I, we've beenmarried for what?
Almost 28 years Now.
We have a 25, a 23, and then anine year old, and there was a
gap between those.
We actually were pregnant twiceafter the girls, but we lost
(09:32):
both of those babies and sodidn't think we'd ever have
another kid, and sure not alittle boy.
But we really wanted to have ason and surprisingly, um, we
found out we were having Holton,and so I was super excited.
But I was scared because, youknow, I was a little bit older
(09:53):
and haven't already lost twobabies but, we believed in faith
and we're thankful for thishappening.
And and then everything wasgoing great.
But at 20 weeks, a lot of timesthey'll do like a full
ultrasound, where they'rechecking out every organ, every
part of the baby, and they did.
And they found out that Holtonhad two kidneys, but one was not
(10:16):
developed and functioning inany sort of way, and the other
one was functioning a littlegood, a little, a little correct
, but not totally, and so therewas a good chance he wasn't
going to make it.
Um, but there was a smallchance that he would make it,
and so that's really hard atthat moment, like, oh my, we got
to 20 weeks, we're going tohave a boy, because we found out
(10:38):
early that it was a boy andthen we might not have him
anymore all of a sudden.
And so I mean, that's always arisk all the time, but we had a
specific reason why he might notlive, and so I remember each
night going to bed, probablythroughout the day.
I just remember, though, eachnight and I would say, okay,
(11:00):
lord, this baby is yours,whatever you want to do with him
.
And so I had to find a way, bethankful even if he lived.
You know 30 weeks didn't makeit, whatever.
It was finding a way in thatmoment to thank the Lord for his
perfect plan.
(11:20):
And so, um, yeah, I think myway was at nighttime, saying
this is your child, this is yourgift.
You're have completely formedhim in the womb, you know what
is working, what is not and howthe outcome is going to be, and
just thanking him for that andsaying your will be done.
(11:42):
That was something I had to doevery day, every night just
continue to center back on him.
And he gave the grace.
So he actually gives us thegrace in the moments to be
thankful.
I mean, we can't in ourself andI remember each, I can see it,
I can see me, you know, eachnight and him giving that grace
(12:04):
and that trust and that faith.
He had to put it in me to justlet go.
So I think some, uh, you know,being able to be thankful is
letting go.
So I think being able to bethankful is letting go.
And it's back to that point ofyour will be done, not mine, and
he made it and he's still hereand he's nine years old and,
best case scenario, the badkidney, the body dissolved it.
(12:25):
I mean just incredible the wayGod has created our bodies, that
it took care of itself anddidn't have to have surgery.
And the other kidney isfunctioning not 100%, but really
well, and it's actually growingbigger than just a normal
kidney would because it'scompensating for not having the
other.
So again, the body.
And so even in that hard time,we can be so thankful that God
(12:49):
has given us incredible bodiesthat do heal themselves in so
many ways.
And, yeah, we see his goodnessand his grace.
And here's a really cool thingin that, because God is working
even in the tough moments,always, and if we just look and
learn to be present in themoment.
And so I had always wanted toname a boy Holton, if we had one
(13:13):
, because my dad's middle namewas Holton and I just love that
name.
And so we did Holton.
And then the girls both have abiblical name, so we did Isaiah
for his middle name and thenSchaefer, and so his initials
were his H-I-S.
That was decided before wefound out about the kidney, s.
That was decided before wefound out about the kidney and
(13:36):
um.
So I was also able to say inthat prayer he truly is yours,
his um, and so that meant somuch.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Yeah, that's a good one, though.
That's a good example.
And you know, I'm sure there'ssome people that are listening
and and still feeling like, wow,um, gratitude, can I mean?
It's still hard at times andyou know you were able to get
through that season with yourconstant communication with the
Lord and that's why you said youknow he gave you the grace to
handle that, but it's becauseyou were in constant
(14:05):
communication with him andturning it over to him.
And you know, I think aboutsome practical steps and I think
about, um, just, you know whenpeople talk about keeping
gratitude journals and you knowwhen, when things are hard and
difficult all around you, if youstop long enough and take your
focus off of the difficultcircumstances, you can always
(14:27):
find something to be gratefulfor.
And maybe keeping a journal or alog of you know what are some
of those things you're gratefulfor, and it doesn't even have to
be huge things Sometimes.
I've given the example beforeand talking with people about I
love clean sheets on the bed,and so one thing I'm thankful
for is when I can smell cleansheets on my bed.
I know that there are peopleout there that don't have a bed,
(14:49):
let alone clean sheets on theirbed.
So you know being grateful forthe beautiful weather, the
sunshine, the cool breeze, thecoffee you get to drink in the
morning, whatever it may be.
But keeping a gratitude journalis one of those practical steps
that I've heard of before thathelp a lot of people when
they're down in the dumps andthey're focused on all the
negativity around them, beingable to shift from the hard
(15:12):
stuff to find what can we bethankful for.
So why is it important?
I mean, why do we need to bethankful in difficult times?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, and I'm still focused back on that story that
I just shared, because no matterwhat story you have or your
friends have or you've seen ormight come, sometimes the
outcome is not to have Holton, anine-year-old little boy, you
know, I mean it could haveturned out really different,
unlike our other two babies.
(15:43):
So I can talk about it reallyfrom both ways, since we did
lose two children before andthen actually having, you know,
one that survived after thosetwo.
But it could be anything.
It could be losing a parent ora friend or anything.
When you talk about death, major, major grieving like that,
(16:07):
having to leave a country thatyou're serving in all of a
sudden overnight, or being firedfrom a job, I mean there's so
many things that are just reallymaybe immediate shock that you
have to walk through, and sojust realizing that that
sometimes the outcome is notwhat you want, and how do you,
how do you move on then?
(16:28):
And so gratitude is soimportant, because without
gratitude we can't move on.
And so it's okay in that momentand you have to, you need to
acknowledge all the feelings andemotions, everything you're
walking through, and give thatto God to be able to just say it
(16:49):
all Come to him in thatintimate relationship that he
wants to have with you andgrabbing the carpet on your
knees, just bearing your soul,everything, lifting it up to him
, being able to speak it, andjust sitting in it, not trying
to escape it, not trying to runfrom it, not trying to.
Oh, I'm a Christian, so I don't, I can't feel this way.
(17:10):
No, you can feel that waybecause that's you're in the
middle of it and that's thatcrappy situation where you're
just like God, I don't like this, I don't want to have to deal
with this, I don't want to go on, you know, and and in that
you're like, but God, you, youcome in Jesus and you bring the
grace and you bring the truthand lay out the path and help me
(17:33):
sit in the grieving in eachstep, for however long you want,
and not rushing that, and sofinding thankfulness in the
really tough, hard grievingtimes, I think and you have to
have that Maybe that foundationis so important before those
(17:53):
tough, hard times hit.
So learning to be thankful forour sunrise, for a sunset, for
the little things, coffee Inever used to drink coffee,
maybe as a dessert, rarely, butnot on an every morning basis,
until I became the director atNorthstar.
Um, and being the head ofanything is super, super hard
(18:16):
and I needed just a littlemoment of comfort.
So for some reason I latchedonto coffee and in that few
moments of comfort of holdingthat hot cup of coffee, taking
that time to make that cup ofcoffee, maybe having some little
half and half or something init Um, I don't know that was
just a moment I was superthankful to have.
And so I think even findingmoments each day of just
(18:42):
something little and beingthankful in that can mean so
much and then it can be therefor you to hold on to in those
really, really tough times.
But basically it's just back tosurrendering all and even
saying I'm not thankful rightnow, god, I'm not thankful for
this, um, but turn my heart intothankfulness and gratefulness
(19:06):
and trusting you, um, yeah.
So I think what I'm reallysaying is you got to be
vulnerable, honest, real, whichis what we talk about on a lot
of these podcasts honest, real,which is what we talk about on a
lot of these podcasts.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, and don't you love that?
God gives us those emotions andhe can handle them.
He wants us to share them withthem.
We can be honest about our howwe're feeling.
I love that he gave us all ofthose emotions that we have.
So how can someone be thankfulwithout pretending everything is
okay?
Is it okay to be honest aboutour struggles?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yep, you definitely have to be fully, completely
honest with God, because heknows it anyway.
He already knows everythingthat's happened, what's going on
in your heart, what's to come.
He knows all kinds of thingsyou don't know.
So, being honest with him,honest with ourselves, asking
him to help us be honest, andthen those around you I pray
that everyone listening has somereally really close friends,
(20:00):
family, that you can also behonest with at least one person
and, if not, just pray for that.
He is so faithful and good togive you friends and family when
you need that and he will.
So just pray, pray for that.
And if you do have that in yourlife, stop, stop this podcast
right now and just thank God.
That's something that you canbe super thankful for, for those
(20:23):
people's faces that come toyour mind that you know you can
go and share everything with andcause.
We need that.
He made us for community,community with him, community
with others in our lives, and sojust really building that in is
so, so important, and I knowthere's been times in my life
where I've had a lot ofcommunity and then time when
maybe not so much, and sometimesthere are those maybe droughts
(20:46):
in community for the moment sothat we will fully be reliant on
him and our community is himand when we have that, it's much
easier for us to be really goodcommunity for others when
loving people and listening andsharing with them comes out of a
grateful, thankful heart thathe is creating in us by that
(21:08):
transforming power that he hasthrough a relationship with us,
absolutely.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
One last thing and then.
I'll let you off the hook AnyBible verses that come to mind
that just they personallyencourage you during those
difficult seasons.
What do you cling to?
Is there one that comes to mind?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, always Proverbs 3, 5, and 6.
That's probably been the verseI've shared more than anything
and quoted and just relied ontrusting the verse I've shared
more than anything and quotedand just relied on trusting the
Lord with all your heart.
Lean not on your ownunderstanding, but in all your
ways acknowledge him and he willmake your path straight.
So when the path seems dark,when it seems crooked, when it
seems chaotic, I can ask myselfam I trusting the Lord with all
(21:52):
my heart, not just a little tinybit, but everything?
Because when we do, he's goingto put those desires in our
hearts, like Psalm 34 says,psalm 37, four says delight
yourself in the Lord, he'll giveyou desires of heart.
So if we're trusting in him, weare delighting in him.
If we're looking to him, we'redelighting in him and he's going
(22:12):
to put the desires in our heartand that would be thankful
desires along with all otherthings that match up with his
plan, his way, his word.
You don't have to have versescompletely memorized, but God
will bring up chunks of it andthings you know just the right
time.
So you do need to be in theword.
The word is everything.
(22:33):
That's where the gratefulness,a big part of it's going to come
from, because, as we're in that, reading about his love, about
what Jesus has done, seeing thegospel, and that we have
salvation, eternal life throughJesus that he would lay are in
our own selves and our thinking,and and back to how I started
(22:59):
off super consumed withourselves and comfort and and
focused on ourselves.
But Jesus knew all of that andhe still laid his life down for
me and for you, and so beingthankful for Jesus, for God's
plan, for his best, um, is justthe way we have to continually
turn back to and you, me,everybody.
(23:21):
It's hard, it doesn't happenall the time, it's not easy, but
in that messiness of life maybethat's a better word Messiness,
yeah, just clinging to him andthe community he's given us.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
You know, a lot of times we pray and we want God to
answer, but the purpose of itis to align our hearts with his,
and I think that's just a goodreminder.
Thank you so much for sharing.
It's fun to have you on theother side of these podcasts and
hear your heart.
So thank you so much forsharing today.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Well, thank you for being on here and just thank you
for your incredible dedicationand service to God's mission
across the globe through NorthStar.
You'll be deeply missed, but Iknow that you've set in motion
so many incredible things forthe North Star community, and so
everyone will continue to livethose out and just be thankful
for you and all that you'vegiven.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Thank you, y'all have a great day.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Thank you so much for listening today.
If you have any questions forour guest or like information
about North Star, please emailus.
At podcast at NSA dot school,we love having guests on our
show and getting to hear theirstories.
If you have anyone in mind thatyou think would be a great
guest to feature, please emailus and let us know.
And don't forget to subscribeso you don't miss out on
(24:51):
upcoming stories.
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