In this episode with Dr. Brooke Weinstein, a former pediatric occupational therapist turned nervous system regulation coach, to explore the often-overlooked key to emotional wellness: understanding how your unique brain and sensory system are wired.
After losing her husband to suicide, Dr. Weinstein rebuilt her life while raising two young children—not just through traditional mental health tools, but by deeply reconnecting with her nervous system. Her story, paired with her clinical expertise, is a roadmap for anyone navigating emotional exhaustion, burnout, or survival mode.
Whether you’re a high-achiever stuck in overdrive or a parent hoping to model healthier regulation for your children, this episode offers insights you won’t hear in most wellness spaces.
Dr. Brooke Weinstein, OTD, OTR/L, is a world-renowned nervous system expert and thought leader—often described as a “personal trainer for your brain.” With over a decade of clinical experience and a Doctorate in Occupational Therapy, she previously founded a thriving pediatric clinic in New Orleans before pivoting to global consulting and coaching. Her work blends neuroscience, trauma recovery, and sensory processing into practical tools for everyday life. Featured in TODAY, Forbes, Scary Mommy, and NBC, Dr. Weinstein reaches millions through her top-ten parenting podcast, online courses, and viral social content empowering people to live with more regulation, resilience, and intention.
In this episode we explore:
•Why traditional self-care tools (like journaling) don’t work for everyone, and what to try instead
•The difference between sensory seekers and sensory avoiders
•How high-performers get trapped in chronic fight-or-flight
•How everyday factors like clothing, sound, and home décor affect your ability to self-regulate
•Why nervous system education should often precede traditional talk therapy
•How to shift from fear-based to regulated parenting
•Why true self-compassion starts with understanding your neurological wiring
To get in touch with Dr. Brooke Weinstein visit:
drbrookeweinstein.com
-Links-
https://www.svetkapopov.com/
https://www.instagram.com/svetka_popov/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey friends, welcome to the Ones who Dared podcast,
where stories of courage areelevated.
I'm your host, vekka, and everyother week you'll hear
interviews from inspiring people.
My hope is that you will leaveencouraged.
I'm so glad you're here.
Today's guest is Dr BrookeWeinstein, a former pediatric
(00:28):
occupational therapist who daredto walk away from a successful
career and rebuild her life fromthe ground up.
After navigating grief andburnout, brooke transformed her
pain into purpose, becoming asensory and emotional regulation
expert who now helps othersregulate, reset and reclaim
their lives.
Dr Brooke Weinstein is known asa personal trainer for your
(00:49):
brain.
She's been featured in Forbes,today, buzzfeed and more.
In today's interview, she willshare the importance of knowing
your brain and why regulatingyour nervous system is the
missing link in the mentalhealth model today.
This episode is one you willnot want to miss.
Dr Brooke Weinstein, welcome tothe Wants to Dear podcast.
(01:09):
I am so honored in having youtoday.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
I'm honored to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I've been following you online for some time, as I
myself have been learning aboutregulating my own nervous system
, and that's been such a gamechanger for me, because I've
done therapy and other thingsand I feel like now that I'm
aware of the nervous system andhow to regulate it better, I
feel calmer and I'm more awareof what I need.
So I love that this is what youbring.
(01:37):
You're an expert in emotionaland sensory regulation and you
can help us with that, so I'm soexcited to have you on.
You're such a gift.
There's so many things that Ilove about you and the gift that
you bring to all of us.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Thank you.
Thank you for saying all ofthat.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
That's very kind of you, thank you.
You created such a powerfulpresence online as a thought
leader specializing in sensoryemotional regulation, with
nearly a million followers onInstagram, not including all the
other platforms.
So, before we dive into thetools you teach and the work you
do, I'd love to know whatshaped the women that you are
today, before the titles, beforethe dancing videos, before the
(02:16):
healing work that you do todayand I know that's a loaded
question.
It's such a loaded question,but a good question.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I would say my life experience and I'm sure everyone
would say that that's theiranswer is their life experiences
what shaped them into the humanthey are today?
I have always been anentrepreneur, excuse me.
At heart, I've always been ago-getter.
(02:44):
I've always kind of known deep,deep down where I wanted my
life to go and I went after thatlife.
And the life that I went afterand the life that I would say I
built for myself ended upcompletely like crushing and
(03:05):
falling to the floor.
And you know, it was almostthis like checklist, if you will
, of like I would like this andI would like that.
And here we go.
And now I'm married and I havekids and all these things, and
then I have, you know, a husbandwho is is so depressed and and
so anxious that he can barelyget out of bed and I'm, you know
(03:29):
, people pleasing my way throughlife and trying to take care of
everyone else except myself andstill show up.
You know, for the ones that Ilove it.
Like there was just so manythings that led me to the place
of waking up in the morning andbeing like is this life?
Like, like I can't believe thisis my life.
(03:51):
Like, how did I get here?
Like I didn't expect, you know,the first comes love, then
comes marriage, then comes babyin the baby carriage.
I didn't expect this to be mylife, like, how is this my life?
And with that, I think, I setout on a journey of, like you
know what?
This doesn't have to be my life.
I can start taking care ofmyself.
(04:11):
And um, it was an extremelydifficult road and extremely
difficult path to start focusingin on me and that forced me to
kind of look at my husband,jonathan, and say, like you're a
big boy, I need you to start,you know, getting the help you
need taking care of yourself.
Um, and ultimately, full,transparently, I think he
(04:36):
thought I kind of like went offthe deep end when I started
taking care of myself.
He was like who, who is thisperson?
What is going on here?
Because I, I was such acaregiver, I was such a people
pleaser, I was so used toputting myself at the bottom of
the totem pole, um, thatultimately it ended in a
separating and, um, I knew weweren't doing well, I knew there
(05:01):
was a potential of us notmaking it, but at the same time,
I also knew I wouldn't be ableto live with myself if something
happened to Jonathan and I wasthe one that said you know,
we're done and, um, he ended updeciding to get a divorce and it
was ultimately because Istarted doing the work and
(05:24):
taking care of myself.
Yeah, and I also knew like we'reboth drowning here and the kids
are getting older and someone'sgot to be able to take care of
the kids and you know, likesomeone's got to be out of bed,
someone's got to be doing allthese things and we were
separated for a while.
(05:51):
We were separated for a whileand, long story short, jonathan
had attempted in the past, buthe did end up taking his own
life in 2021.
And I would say that that's thebiggest, you know, turning
point in my life that's trulyshifted who I am and the life
(06:12):
that I lead.
And, um, I was so fortunateenough this this sounds weird,
but I was fortunate enough to dothe work on myself prior to him
passing that I knew the tools,the tools.
I had already startedsupporting the kids and and
giving them the tools beforeJonathan passed, but they were
all the more important andpresent once he passed and you
(06:32):
know there's so many individualsthat talk about when I first
started doing this work, I hadto use words like overwhelm,
burnout.
Honestly, that those werepretty much the buzzwords tired,
exhausted, depleted.
Like people didn't understand,when I started doing this years
ago, the word dysregulation.
(06:54):
They didn't understand the wordoverstimulation.
They didn't understand the word, you know, sensory and
emotional regulation, or nervoussystem Like that wasn't really
discussed when I first starteddoing this, and so I had to kind
of take my, my humans and mycommunity on a journey and I
eventually finally startedtalking about the nervous system
(07:15):
, and I think there's so muchwithin the nervous system that
can be so beneficial.
But the piece that's missingfrom most places that I or other
communities, or even just likebooks and things like that the
piece that's missing is thesensory and emotional regulation
(07:37):
piece, because and I'm suremore people understand the
emotional regulation piece thanthe sensory side but every
single one of our brainsfunction differently, and so I
didn't know how my brainfunctioned.
There is no way I could havetaken care of myself through the
thick of grief and being a soloparent while running a business
, because I had started mybusiness before Jonathan passed.
(07:59):
There's no way I could havesupported my children if I
didn't understand how theirbrain functions sensory wise,
with all the stimuli coming atthem.
Emotional regulation wise, likethere's no way that I could
have supported them in the waythat I feel was necessary.
Yeah so much guilt and shame interms of, well, I should be able
(08:27):
to keep it together, or Ishould be able to just journal
and be happy, or I should beable to meditate and what.
Like everyone else takes timeto meditate.
Like, why can't I find the time?
Or like, okay, you know, likebox breathing, cool, but like,
when do I have time for that?
You know, there's there's somany different pieces and so
much of the nervous system is soimportant to understand.
And you know, now the bigbuzzword is somatics and that's
(08:47):
yeah, I was going to ask aboutthat too.
It's basically just a tool,like it's a, it's a tool for you
to be able to use, but it's onetool, right?
So, like, you see these reelsthat are like, shove your face
in an ice bucket of water.
If your child is like doesn'thave have, you know, the body
strength to sit up straight inthe tub and you need to watch
(09:08):
them still, or they're splashingwater outside of the tub and
you're the lights are bright andthey're they're giggling and
laughing and it's echoing withthe tile and like, at what point
are you gonna go grab a bucketof ice and be like, hold on, let
me just shove my face in abucket of ice.
This will totally regulateregulate me.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Like it has to be.
You have to understand yourbrain and your body and then be
able to co-create the tools ofwhat is going to work for me,
what is what is going to be bestfor my individual brain.
And that's basically what I do,and it has shifted my entire
(09:45):
life and gotten me through someof the hardest years of my life
and supported my childrenthrough the hardest years of my
life, and I could go on and on.
Clearly, because I'm verypassionate about it and I love
it, and it's wonderful to beable to witness other
individuals journeys of life andtrust me with their lives and
(10:08):
trust me with their journeys, tobe able to help them navigate
and understand this informationfor themselves.
And, you know, move throughlife journeys or move through
trauma, or move through grief orwhatever it is that they
individually are going through.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, what's fascinating about your journey
is that you started withdoctorate in occupational
therapy and initially youstarted working with children,
but then you transition intoworking with parents.
Can you tell me why there wasthat transition, why you thought
that was important At the Oncea Day podcast?
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Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah, that's such a great question.
So I worked with kids forprobably over a decade.
I did the hospital setting, Idid home health.
I did I mean, you name it I didschool settings.
I did it, I did medicaldaycares.
And I ended up, when I lived inNew Orleans, owning my own
clinic.
We started renting out a room,like literally just a room, and
(11:38):
by the time I sold it to mybusiness partner when I was
moving here to Texas.
We were in like a 3000 squarefoot facility.
So like, like I like it, brookedoes something, she like does
it right.
So like, we did it up and likewe, we, we built the thing.
We built it and I wanted it tobe different than what was
offered, because I had seen somany different clinical settings
(12:01):
and none of it to be completelyblunt with you was working.
Like none of it was working.
And after we moved here to Texas, because of Jonathan's job, he
got a job here and my family waslike what are you doing?
This is your career, you'vebuilt your life Like your.
Your career matters too.
(12:22):
And I like had to silent thepeanut gallery and I was like
hold on, like am I happy?
Do I enjoy this and I had twopremature babies.
They were very, very young.
I was taking care of Jonathanwho was also very unwell, if you
will, and I was like I'm doinga million different things but
(12:42):
I'm not doing one, oneindividual thing very well.
And so I decided to sell thatbusiness and move to Texas and I
took some time off and tried todecide what went well in that
business, what didn't go well,what I would have done
differently, what I necessarilyfeel that my strengths were.
(13:02):
And from that I realized thatparents were coming to us
because we are stretched soincredibly thin that we have no
more time to add, let's say,quote OT homework to our plate
of like you know, here's mychild for an hour a week.
Please fix them with all thegoals that you have for them or
(13:23):
whatever it is going on.
And voila, it's not going towork.
I can't see your child for onehour a week and say yes, 1000%.
I know that this is going tofix the sensory things that are
going on with them, because youhave no idea how their brain
functions.
You have no idea how your brainfunctions and I understand that
(13:45):
.
Like they would drop the childoff at our clinic, go run to the
grocery because they had anhour to get something done and
come back and I was like it hasto start with us as well.
As you know, when I starteddoing the work on myself, I
realized I know how to be an OTand I know how to be a mom, but
how do I like navigate beingboth at the same time without
(14:06):
like putting my OT hat on andpretending as though, okay, I'm,
I'm your clinician right now,right?
So I, through that journey oftaking care of me, really
explored all of the knowledgethat I had and all the
schoolwork that I had, you know,gone through, and I I was
honestly like client number oneand I did trial and error to
(14:30):
figure out the method that I nowteach of how I teach sensory
and emotional regulation and themethod we take to shift the
patterns in the brain and reallyget your brain out of fight or
flight, and not just get it outof fight or flight but really
pattern it to stay more in aregulated state.
Um, and again, I recognize thatit has to start with with the
(14:56):
big humans, it has to start withus, and so, you know, it was a
very easy transition for me tomove into parents because I
wanted to help them understandhow to regulate their own brain.
And once they got it, once theyfelt it, once they understood
it, it was like, boom, now I cansee it on my child, now I know
how to support my child.
(15:17):
Now I know how to you know,impart this wisdom.
And I built this method that isusable and user-friendly, I
would say, for all humans,whether you're, you know, an
adult or a child.
And it just kind of snowballedfrom there and now I see, I see
all individuals.
(15:37):
I see parents, non-parents, Isee a lot of high performance,
just career driven humans orhigh performance CEOs who have
no idea how to enjoy the lifethat they've worked so hard to
create.
We work with teens.
I mean, you name it, we see it,because a brain is a brain is a
(15:58):
brain.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, it's interesting with the high
performing entrepreneurs andpeople who are operating on that
caliber.
I find that you know, from beingaround those people,
interviewing some of thesuccessful entrepreneurs and
people who have built the 1%companies and so forth, what I
find is that a lot of them havehad really dysfunctional
(16:21):
childhoods not all, but a lot ofthem have.
And so, in a sense, from myperspective now you correct me
if I'm wrong they grew up inenvironments where there was
there was this high stress,cortisol levels that were up,
and then they're using that samestressors and that like level
of stress to to deal with thestresses is business and
(16:42):
everything else and at somepoint they haven't learned to
fully regulate and be able to beat ease and just enjoy, like be
on vacation and just read thebooks, sit back and relax or
whatever it is that would berelaxing to them.
And so how do you help thosepeople who are always on,
they're always high functioning,they are.
(17:03):
Just they don't even know howto not be in stress and actually
, from what I observed, they'remore comfortable being that
level then.
So how do you help those people?
What would you say to someonewho's like how do you break
those patterns?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
so the reason they prefer to maintain that high I'm
going to call it like highperformance, dysfunctional, over
functioning, level right, orstimulated, like, yes, all the
things the reason they staythere is is you are correct,
because their brain has patternto stay there, and so our brain
(17:39):
craves structure, stability andcontrol.
And so if that's where you feelthe most safe is, go go,
stability and control.
And so if that's where you feelthe most safe is, go, go, go, go
, go, go, go, go, go, go going,you are going to feel broken,
you're going to feel lazy,you're going to feel out of
control, you're going to feelyou can even it's, it's like a
crash, it's even like a comedown from, like a high right
(18:01):
Like you, it is veryuncomfortable to to slow down,
extremely uncomfortable.
And whether they have come froma family life of modeling, um,
that fast pace, right I thoseare more of my seeker clients
it's you.
You need to think of it as likea gas pedal, right.
(18:23):
So the way that I look at myclients is we have the gas pedal
, we have the break and we needto learn how to throttle between
the two, because if you aresomeone who does public speaking
, you absolutely need to likehype yourself up, get the energy
going and like get thatcortisol going to be able to be
like what's up guys like and hopon stage Right.
(18:45):
But, that energy is not alwaysnecessary, right?
If you're like in the midst ofa deal and you've got a deadline
and all of it comes togetherand you've got all of this like
big, high energy and extra, youknow, hormones shooting through
you and everything comestogether at the last moment,
it's going to feel like a hit ofdopamine, it's going to feel
good, and so we want another one, and we want another one and we
(19:07):
want another one.
But if we pattern our brain, orif our brain is naturally the
disposition of our brain isnaturally in that state, then we
have to work to to throttle, wehave to work to learn to step
on the brakes.
So, for instance, my brain, athousand percent, is seeking
(19:29):
brain, right?
So I'm a gas pedal.
If you are a gas pedal, youwant to be performing and you
want to be going, but your brainand body cannot keep up.
And so that's when you're goingto crash and burn, or that's
when you're going to snap atyour loved ones, or that's when
you're going to zone out on yourphone, or that's when you know
you're going to be in a reallypissed off mood and you're just
(19:51):
going to be like enough, right,like that's when you're not
going to be able to be in thecreative brain, you're not going
to be able to be present.
Your brain is literally offlineat that point because it's
trying to keep you safe and itthinks there's a bear chasing
you, or it thinks that you needto stop drop and roll, right.
And so we need to be able toretrain the brain to be able to
(20:11):
say there is no bear chasing me.
There is, you know, fire that Ineed to stop drop and roll.
And I explain the work that wedo is kind of like a smoke
detector, right.
So your brain is alwayssniffing out threats, just like
your smoke detector.
And when you're sniffing outthreats, if you're living in
that that over-functioning, highperformance, overstimulated,
(20:34):
dysregulated fight or flightstate, your brain is going to be
highly, highly, highlysensitive.
Your smoke detector is going tobe sniffing out the smoke from
the third floor that you knowyou're cooking on the first
right it's.
Every little tiny, itty bittything is going to set you off
right, and so we need to be ableto readjust that nervous system
(20:54):
, and that's, frankly, what Ihad to do with my own brain is a
recognize.
Okay, where, where do I lie onthis spectrum of sensory
regulation.
What are the behaviors of mybrain, right?
Like we think of the languageof our brain as the words coming
out of our mouth, the languageof your brain is actually your
(21:15):
behaviors, right?
It's how you're functioning.
And if we can understand howwe're functioning and then we
can tap into how, how does thisfunctioning feel and and and how
does it feel within my body andis it serving me or is it
depleting me?
Or am I miserable and notpresent and snapping at my kids?
(21:37):
And I want to be happy and calmand peace and joy, like.
How do we get there, right?
How do we take our foot off theaccelerator and very slowly,
very slowly, step on the brakeand you're never going to lose
that drive.
You're never going to lose thatlust for what you do, but you
(21:58):
can um help have.
It's almost like going from anautomatic to like a stick shift
right.
You are in the driver's seatand you have control over when
you floor it and when you'relike you know what it's time to
tap out and like put it inneutral or park.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, and with you.
You said you had to learn howyour brain operates right,
because you're one of thosepeople who's on the go.
I'm kind of like that too in myown way, where, you know, I
have to say no to a lot ofthings myself, like no, no, no,
you don't have the capacity forthat, we're going to not even
think about that, and my brainis like oh, I got a new idea.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Let's work on that.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
And it's like wait, wait, wait, no, no, no.
Slow down Always.
Yeah, I need to excel here.
You know I'm going to say no tothat.
And you know, and I'm sure inyour shoes too, you get a lot of
opportunities, a lot ofdifferent doors that open up.
Right, and you have to say noto that.
With learning your own brain.
Like what did you discover?
(22:54):
When did you realize?
Like this is what I need, thisis how I need to slow down or
this is how I need to reset.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, that's a really great question.
I think I've said that to everysingle one of your questions
today.
It was the exploration ofmyself.
It was, you know, number oneunderstanding my sensory and
emotional makeup.
Like truly understanding.
Am I a seeker?
Am I an avoider?
Do I register the world aroundme?
(23:25):
Am I highly sensitive tostimuli?
If I am highly sensitive tostimuli, what stimuli am I
highly sensitive to and how doesall of this functioning make me
feel?
How does all this functioningsupport or not support my
overall mental health?
That's truly what it boils downto is your mental health.
(23:50):
And going on that exploration, Imean my life is completely
different.
For instance, I used to wearreally tight clothes.
Now, I was a dancer growing upand so I wore a lot of leotards
right, and so not only was mybody used to wearing tight
clothes, but I think that mybody craved the deep pressure
(24:10):
and the feedback from theclothes within my nervous system
as a way of regulating mynervous system right know, loose
, comfortable clothes that thataren't like binding on my body.
I I'm, I'm giving myself, youknow, less stimuli through my
(24:33):
clothing, if you will, to beable to support my overall
functioning of regulation.
So little tiny bitty things cangive you gas back in the tank,
Right I?
I choose slower, if you will II I wonder if you know anyone
listening to this.
Do you actually taste your food, right Check?
in if you're actually tastingyour food.
(24:54):
Um, my, my house used to befull of bright colors, same with
my clothing.
You see, full of bright colors.
I'd have you know artwork thatwas really bright and I wanted I
just liked really loud, fun,vibrant and I wanted to be like
the bell of the ball.
I'm I mean my whole house.
I've I've changed paint colorsand shifted and it's all muted
(25:17):
and peaceful.
People walk in and they're likethis looks like a spa and I'm
like, exactly, that's exactlywhat I wanted it to look like,
right, like you know.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
that's interesting that you say that, because
looking at your website, right,I was just thinking that usually
you know people who have adoctor in front of their name or
you know they're wearing a suitand this and that.
And one thing that I observedon just looking through your
website is all the photos thatyou have.
They are very soft.
The clothes that you're wearing.
You feel really comfortable andbeing you know who you are.
And also I love your hair.
(25:47):
By the way, I am I have alittle hair envy there with the
curls, but yeah, that yourwebsite that is what it projects
is is it's comfortable.
You're wearing like, almostlike your sweats and different
things like that that are justlike you being fully who you are
and that is.
That's beautiful.
But it's also, like you'resaying, that's comfortable and
(26:07):
it's intentional in resemblingthat peace and that comfort and
just like being yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
The wildest part is that I say that sensory and
emotional regulation of yournervous system is at the core.
What everyone should understandwhen it comes to mental health
Like that is, the core of mentalhealth is your nervous system
and your brain, rather than,again, just psychology and just,
you know, talk therapy if youwill.
Um, but the craziest thing isdoing this work on yourself is
(26:43):
there's a lot of layers and, andyou know, shadow work, if you
will, and and triggers that youneed to move through because at
the end of the day, you arefinally like putting down the
baton of who you think you needto be and finally accepting the
person that you are.
And once you understand thatbeing who you are allows you to
(27:05):
have much more mental healththan masking or avoiding or
keeping up with the Joneses orcontinuing to put on a front and
just smiling and going to theevent when you're like I do not
want to F and B here right nowyou know, that is going to
(27:26):
ultimately make you happy.
That is ultimately what's goingto be the thing that supports
your brain and your body intofully showing up for you.
Finally, I've had clients whohave gone through working with
us and they dye their hair, theyget tattoos, they get piercings
.
They crazy enough lose weight,which we're not even working on
(27:50):
you know like they just and, butby understanding all the
different stimuli andunderstanding how their body is
affected by that stimuli, they,they finally release.
Oh well, Joe Schmo, over here,you know, like the perfect
example is, you know, MarthaStewart or Kim Kardashian, or
(28:11):
you know people who have reallybuilt this persona, who've
really, they have a brand andthey have a lifestyle and and
they want you to only seecertain things.
And that's just two humans.
But we could, I mean, we coulddo a huge laundry list of people
(28:31):
who, who show up and want toportray a certain life, and so,
especially with consuming socialmedia and how fast the world
functions and works these days,we think that is what we should
do, or how we should keep up, oreven the community that we grew
up in.
And there's just so many thingsthat come into play when you
(28:51):
think of, like, how did I gethere?
And to be able to finally showup as who you're most
authentically meant to be,literally is the difference
between depression and anxietyand chronic illness versus
full-blown mental health of justenjoying your life.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah, yeah, that's so good.
I think too, for me, on mypersonal journey, the death of
my mom was the thing that causedme to pause, reflect and
completely just say, okay, howdo I actually want to live my
life?
Because I've been in a hamsterwheel of being an entrepreneur,
raising a family, you know, justgo, go, go.
And I just been barely, just,you know, grasping for air,
(29:33):
essentially, and then learningabout the nervous system and
going to therapy and doing allthese things and it's like whoa,
this is.
I'm functioning so differentlythan I did when I was just
running, Surviving yeah,surviving Really, where you're
not really taking the time, likeyou said, to think like who am
(29:53):
I actually and what is the lifethat I want to live, and what
does that look like?
And I'm curious too with you.
You said I heard you say thisbefore that you feel like the
mental health today isn't reallyworking, which is why you do
the work you do today.
So I'm curious to know intowhat do you feel is the
(30:14):
difference between, like mindsetand the way that we think?
Because thoughts are powerful,right, they create a reality for
us.
Then you know there's a nervousregulation that you do, and
then there's therapy and there'sall these things like what is
it about mental health that youfeel like isn't working and
what's the what's the solutionfor that?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yeah, you know again, right now, mental health is
considered psychology, it'sconsidered talk therapy, it's
considered um, talking andmoving and moving through and
getting to the core and.
But the one of the things Iwould say is the difficult
(30:56):
pieces is kind of similar to howI was treating kiddos and I was
like, once a week, for an houris not going to cut it If I work
with a client or if any of myteam works with clients or if
they join any of my programs.
There is 24-7 support, becausethat's where the real life stuff
(31:17):
happens and we need to be ableto catch it in real time to be
able to truly shift the patterns, to truly be able to utilize
the tools that we work throughand utilizing the understanding
of where am I feeling this in mybody?
Like what is going on, like how, how, how am I feeling?
(31:38):
Like, do I actually want to goto the parade or do I want to go
to the birthday party or am Iready to leave?
Am I ready to be done?
And not making decisions basedoff of a prescribed way of life,
but deciding that your brain isthe ultimate guide.
It's almost like the dashboardin your car right, like if
(31:59):
there's an check engine light.
You know, like, are you goingto actually check the engine?
Are you going to wait until youfinally are on the side of the
road calling AAA?
You know, like, are you goingto actually check the engine?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
are you going?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
to wait until you finally are on the side of the
road calling triple a right, youknow.
And if we don't understandwhat's underneath the hood of
the car, there's no way possiblewe're going to be able to fully
have that mental health that somany of us long for.
And it takes people fromthinking I'm crazy, I'm broken.
Why can't I keep it togetherLike everyone else?
(32:28):
Why can't I do it Like theKardashians are like?
Why can't, like they can, keepgoing?
And I mean, yeah, I brought upMartha Stewart, but what I like
to say, martha Stewart went tojail Like like she's not so
perfect either.
You know what I mean.
Like right, we don't have toalways be these perfect humans,
but what we should do is listeninto our brain and our body.
(32:50):
And if everyone did that, andeven if we had that conversation
or that knowledge or thateducation for kids, imagine a
life where you chose a careerbased on knowing what would be
best for your brain.
You chose a partner based onknowing what you crave and need,
(33:11):
Like you're saying what do youneed?
Right.
Like if you chose a partnerbased on saying I know these are
my needs, I know this is how Iregulate my nervous system and I
need to find someone who cansupport those needs, not fix.
We're not codependent here.
We don't want someone to fix us.
But you know, I have a partnernow, and my first partner,
(33:37):
Jonathan, versus my partner now,Carter, two completely
different humans, but I'mcompletely different because I'm
functioning completelydifferent.
But I'm completely differentbecause I'm functioning
completely different.
I'm much more aware of my bodyand what, what I need and how I
function best and the type ofpartner that's going to be able
(33:58):
to be in my life to support me.
Right Again not fixed, butsupport and vice versa.
I want to be able to supporthim in the ways that he needs.
And so imagine a world where wefirst understood what's
underneath the hood of the carand then we took driver's ed and
(34:18):
, and we took driver's ed rightTo understand what's underneath
the hood of the car and then,right, you get your learner's
permit and then you drive right.
Yeah, we're not doing that.
Feelings weren't even discussed.
You know, like my mother thinksI'm like that shit crazy.
When I first started she's likewhat are you doing?
Like it was wildlyuncomfortable for her and I was
(34:43):
like I got this, like just trustit, like I know what I'm doing
here.
But you know our parents andtheir parents this was not like
my grandmother thought chewinggum was rude, right, like we're
in a much different society ofevolving into, leaning into who
(35:03):
we are and our emotions andfeelings, and you've got to do
the exploration if you want tobe able to understand the full
picture.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah, that's so good.
What are three simple thingsour listeners can do today to
begin co-regulating themselvesor their kids?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, I get this question every single time I'm
on a podcast.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
And I feel like I know what you're gonna say.
It's tailored for everybody'sdifferent depending on your
brain, right?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
everyone so, like I wish, you know, like I wish that
I could get on my page and dothe ice bucket or the or the.
Do these simple three things toregulate your nervous system.
Now, if I, I gotta tell you, ifI did that I would be selling
you bullshit.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Like.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
I would be selling a lie or like trying to.
You know, like it's.
It's different for everyone,depending on your, your brain,
depending on how you function,and and if anyone tries to say,
like it's journaling, like signme up, like you're gonna do a
journaling exercise for 30 daysand you're gonna meditate your
way to heaven and like and youknow this, like euphoric state
(36:14):
every day, like that, look, Idon't.
I'm saying these things becauseI don't have time to box
breathe and I don't have time tojournal and I don't have time
to meditate.
But what I will tell you isthat I know how to regulate my
nervous system right, and whatworks for me may not work for
someone else, right?
If I have an excess of cortisoland energy and I am heightened.
I can't just lay in bed and belike okay, like this is gonna
(36:37):
just come down, I need to goexpend the energy.
When I was moving through grief, my nanny's husband came over
one time to put a table togetherand he I don't think he had met
me yet and he was like where'sBrooke?
And she pointed me out and Iwas like Speedy Gonzalez, like
walking in the dead of summer,just like horse bra and shorts,
(37:00):
like the neighborhood probablywas like who's this wacko girl?
But like I needed to expend theenergy in order to come down.
Not everyone needs to do thatright.
It depends on what's going on inyour life.
My one of my clients was likegot it, when I'm upset and angry
, I need to, you know, have somenice warm tea and a book.
(37:20):
I'm going to write that down.
Anger equals this and I waslike hold on, like you may need
something different the nexttime you feel anger.
You may need somethingdifferent the next time this,
this or that that happens.
So it's having a toolkit ofunderstanding and listening into
(37:40):
your brain and body and thenbeing able to open up the
toolkit and say what would feelgood for me right now?
What would take care of meright now?
What would support wherever I'mat right?
Speaker 1 (37:52):
now.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
And I think the first step, rather than saying what
are the three steps you can taketo regulate yourself, I would
say the first step you can takeis start getting curious and
learning about your nervoussystem and learning about your
sensory system.
Like I've said, these buzzwordsare you a seeker?
Are you an avoider?
Do you register the worldaround you?
(38:14):
Are you, you know, sensorysensitive to stimuli like?
Start getting curious andlearning your brain makeup.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Yeah, no, that's so good.
It's probably why I hateshopping at the malls.
I cannot stand the over likethe music the too many choices,
all of that.
I hate shopping.
I love to look good, I lovegreat stylish clothes, but don't
take me to the mall, yeah,because it's just, it's too much
.
Like I walk out of there I'mlike I'm not buying anything, I
can't.
I can't even do this right now,overwhelmed.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Absolutely Well.
I love too that what you teachis essentially like putting on
the mask before you help someoneelse, because, especially for
the moms listening and theparents listening we tend to
take care of everybody elsebefore we take care of ourselves
.
What advice do you have for amom who's a mom who stays at
(39:10):
home?
Maybe she comes back from work,but either way she's, she's at
the limit where you know she'soverstimulated by work, by kids.
She comes home or she is homefull time.
And what can she do?
What is like some practicalthings that she can do to just
regulate a bit and take thepressure off?
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Yeah, so I do work with, with plenty of of moms who
know how to take care ofeveryone else but themselves
(39:52):
post years ago, about how I usedto put my kids down for a nap
on Sundays, um, and go to thegrocery during that nap time
when I could make sure thatJonathan could also lay down.
But when I went to the groceryit wasn't like I was like like
looking at new, you know thethings and new products and
deciding what to cook.
It was like you better hurry upand get your ass home before
(40:12):
these kids wake up, because Iwanted to make sure that I was
supporting Jonathan in every waythat I could and never, ever,
ever, thinking about myself.
And the most important piece isthat you know you matter too,
like we all matter and we alldeserve to be able to feel safe
(40:33):
in our own bodies and brains.
And I don't care if you putyourself at the top of the totem
pole, maybe that's notrealistic, but putting yourself
maybe in the mix, right, andsaying, saying no to the play
date and, you know, just sayingI really wish we could make it,
but unfortunately we can't.
Like period the end, not oh,because Johnny's got a da, da,
(40:56):
da, da, or like walking into thebook club and them being like
hey, and you being like I am notgood, like I'm not good Right,
like taking ownership of whereyou're at and giving yourself a
sliver of the pie is like you'reso worthy of that and it's so
out of it will will tenfoldreturn in the amount of capacity
(41:17):
you gain to show up for yourkids and the capacity you can't
you can gain to reconnect withyour partner and finally enjoy
(41:39):
the life that you're working sodamn hard to create.
You know, like you're workingso hard to build this life, why
not enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (41:47):
That's so good.
That's such an importantmessage.
Yeah, I love that.
If you could whisper one truthinto every woman's ear who feels
lost, overextended, what wouldthat be?
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(42:30):
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Speaker 2 (42:39):
I would say you matter enough to gift yourself
the gift of support, because somany of us can talk ourselves
out of oh well, we, you know, wehave the vacation coming up or
we have, you know, I'll justread the book or I'll do the
podcast and I'll listen to that.
Or, um, no, it's fine, I'll dothis later.
(43:00):
Oh, it's, you know what today'sbetter.
So, like it's, you know, likeit's fine, it's better today.
And we, like it's, you know,like it's fine, it's better
today.
And we, as specifically women,can, like jedi mind, trick
ourselves into again taking careof everyone but ourselves.
And that whisper would be tellyourself, you're worthy enough
(43:21):
to give yourself the gift ofsupport.
Like, if you don't think thatyou can do this on your own,
that does not mean you're broken.
And again, what you get back,like it is a gift, it's you know
it's.
It's hard to financially investin yourself and get the support
, but what you will get back.
(43:41):
And it's hard to also know whatthat crystal ball will be like
at the end of getting somesupport.
But you're so worth it and youcannot fix everyone else.
And it was the hardest thing Iever did when I finally decided
to take care of myself.
And you know, I, I it.
(44:02):
It was choosing myself over.
As as odd as this sounds, likeit was choosing myself over, as
odd as this sounds like it waschoosing myself over another
human.
Like I chose to take care ofmyself and say, Jonathan, I love
you, but I'm worthy of this aswell, like I'm worthy of being
healthy and whole and enjoyingmy life and and it's it's the
(44:25):
hardest thing I've ever done,but it's.
I wouldn't be where I am todayif I hadn't taken care of myself
.
And I don't think that I'd beable to support my kids the way
that I do if I hadn't taken careof myself.
And that's not to say you knowit's, it's okay that what
happened to him happened.
Right, it's not okay.
And and it's devastating.
(44:47):
And I've moved through griefand I've had, you know, years to
to move through that, um, but II knew it needed to happen and
having the courage to say I'mworthy, that's that's where it's
at.
It's that's the hardest part,that's where it's at.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
That's the hardest part.
Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah Well, you have anincredible online community as
well.
You offer digital courses.
You offer one-on-one coaching.
There's so much.
Is there anything you'd love toshare with the listeners?
Just to briefly what it is, howthey can, where they can find
you, what kind of support andhelp you can offer through your
services.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Sure, my hub is basically Instagram and you can
find me at Brooke, with an E andthen half of my last name,
w-e-i-n-s-t, so it's BrookeWeinst.
You can look for the big curlyhair and you'll find me.
Most of our information isthere.
But, again, we're on YouTubeand TikTok and LinkedIn.
(45:50):
I mean, we're everywhere andyou're more than welcome to
reach out.
We offer one-on-ones, we havegroup programs.
We do have on-demand courses.
We have a monthly membership.
Community.
We've tried to make sure thatthere's something for everyone.
Community.
We've tried to make sure thatthere's something for everyone,
(46:11):
truly financially, that anyonecan afford if they want and
crave this work.
I feel like this is somethingthat everyone has a right to
truly understand their brain andbody.
That's your, your own right tounderstand how you know, you
function and how you work.
So there's plenty ofopportunities and, um, yeah, I,
(46:32):
I would love to support and weas a community would love to
support anyone, and you cancheck us out at all the places.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Yeah, is there a book on the horizon?
Cause I've seen you can jointhe wait list for a book, so are
you allowed?
Speaker 2 (46:45):
to talk about that yet.
Yeah, sure, I also have apodcast called Thrive Like a
Parent.
We mostly talk about humanstuff, not just parenting stuff.
But, yes, there's a book thatwill eventually come out, but it
was derailed, excuse me, whenJonathan passed and I needed to
(47:07):
focus in on different parts ofthe business and different parts
of my life and my children'slife, and there's so much to say
and there's so much that feelslike such just so much to put in
there.
And, yes, it has started, thechapters have begun to be
written and eventually it willbe shared with the world.
(47:31):
So, yes, Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
I can't wait to hear more about it when it's on the
horizon.
Well, I usually end the podcastby asking with a few questions.
One of them is what is thebravest thing that Brooke has
ever done?
Speaker 2 (47:44):
Okay, the bravest thing I have absolutely ever
done was was get out of bed andand start taking care of me,
because I knew potentially whatthat could mean for someone
else's life um, as well as myown and my children's and
(48:06):
getting up, doing this work,taking care of myself and and
doing the hard work because thiswork isn't easy.
Like even you saying, likeyou've done so much on yourself,
like I'm sure you can attest tothis Like this isn't always fun
, like it's not always fun tolike move through the parts and
pieces Sometimes it'sgut-wrenching and painful and
all the things.
(48:27):
So I would say the bravestthing I've ever done is is get
back in the driver's seat of myown life.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
Yeah, that's so good and it's so true, and I've I've
said this to close friends likeI see why there's people that
don't want to change and don'twant to do the work, because it
is really hard and it's like theconsistent effort where you're
just going on and on and on whatis a book that was
transformative for you.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Oh, the Body Keeps the Score is fantastic.
And then, my hands downfavorite, it's a simple book.
It'll take you like an hour anda half to read it.
It's called the Crossroads ofShould and Must and it's just
like a street sign and it'sbasic and it's beautiful and the
(49:15):
artwork is just incredible init and it's just so simple.
But it's like, if you don'tknow the road to take, you can
ask yourself is this a should oris this a must?
It can simplify life in thatway and, um, for many, many
months, really, really early on,it was probably one of the
(49:36):
first books I ever read.
Getting involved in this workand I carried it in my purse for
months.
It was like I just needed itclose to me to give me the
courage to like make those harddecisions.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
I love that.
And the last one is what's thebest piece of advice someone
gave you?
Speaker 2 (49:59):
The best piece of advice someone has given me.
The best piece of now.
I know what I had to think fora second.
The best piece of advicesomeone has ever given me the
best piece of now.
I know it.
I had to think for a second.
Um, the best piece of advicesomeone has ever given me is
parent the child in front of you, not the child you fear they
will become.
And my children have a 50percent higher rate or risk of
(50:27):
of suicide because of Jonathan.
It's just statistics, and I'vehad incredible humans and
mentors in my life along my ownjourney, um to continue my own
learning or to continue beingable to bring new and awesome
information to my own clientsand um, as I was moving through
(50:47):
fear for my own children of whatthis will look like, I was, for
sure, parenting at one pointfrom a place of fear of and and
being gentle and, you know, notsaying the thing or or holding
them accountable, because I wasso fearful of who they would
become.
Um, and so now I parent thechild in front of me rather than
(51:09):
who I fear they will become,and it has liberated my ability
to show up for them in manydifferent ways and parent them
in the way that they need,rather than out of fear.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
Wow, that's so good, and I'm personally curious what
do you call your dance style?
Because I just want to knowwhat is that called.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
I don't know what my dance style is.
You know, I'll dance since theage of two.
I wanted to go out toCalifornia and dance instead of
go to college and my parentswere like best of luck with that
, and so I ended up going tocollege and this has been a way
for me to incorporate the thingthat I love most in my life, the
thing that is so regulating forme and truly taught me how to
(51:54):
feel my feelings throughmovement and emotion and dance
and all the things.
Um, and yeah, I used to do iton the counter in my kitchen and
and post all my reels, and nowit's more just on the floor, um,
in my den, but I would just Idon't know the style, but what I
(52:16):
would say is it's, it's myfavorite way to regulate.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
I love that.
Well, it's been such an honortalking to you.
Thank you so much for sharingyour gift.
Yeah, I really appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for listening to theOnce we Dare podcast.
It is an honor to share theseencouraging stories with you.
If you enjoy the show, I wouldlove for you to tell your
friends.
Leave us a reviewer rating andsubscribe to wherever you listen
to podcasts, because this helpsothers discover the show.
(52:46):
You can find me on my website,speckhopawcom.
Hey friends, welcome to the Ones who Dared podcast,
where stories of courage areelevated.
I'm your host, vekka, and everyother week you'll hear
interviews from inspiring people.
My hope is that you will leaveencouraged.
I'm so glad you're here.
Today's guest is Dr BrookeWeinstein, a former pediatric
(00:28):
occupational therapist who daredto walk away from a successful
career and rebuild her life fromthe ground up.
After navigating grief andburnout, brooke transformed her
pain into purpose, becoming asensory and emotional regulation
expert who now helps othersregulate, reset and reclaim
their lives.
Dr Brooke Weinstein is known asa personal trainer for your
(00:49):
brain.
She's been featured in Forbes,today, buzzfeed and more.
In today's interview, she willshare the importance of knowing
your brain and why regulatingyour nervous system is the
missing link in the mentalhealth model today.
This episode is one you willnot want to miss.
Dr Brooke Weinstein, welcome tothe Wants to Dear podcast.
(01:09):
I am so honored in having youtoday.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
I'm honored to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I've been following you online for some time, as I
myself have been learning aboutregulating my own nervous system
, and that's been such a gamechanger for me, because I've
done therapy and other thingsand I feel like now that I'm
aware of the nervous system andhow to regulate it better, I
feel calmer and I'm more awareof what I need.
So I love that this is what youbring.
(01:37):
You're an expert in emotionaland sensory regulation and you
can help us with that, so I'm soexcited to have you on.
You're such a gift.
There's so many things that Ilove about you and the gift that
you bring to all of us.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Thank you.
Thank you for saying all ofthat.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
That's very kind of you, thank you.
You created such a powerfulpresence online as a thought
leader specializing in sensoryemotional regulation, with
nearly a million followers onInstagram, not including all the
other platforms.
So, before we dive into thetools you teach and the work you
do, I'd love to know whatshaped the women that you are
today, before the titles, beforethe dancing videos, before the
(02:16):
healing work that you do todayand I know that's a loaded
question.
It's such a loaded question,but a good question.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I would say my life experience and I'm sure everyone
would say that that's theiranswer is their life experiences
what shaped them into the humanthey are today?
I have always been anentrepreneur, excuse me.
At heart, I've always been ago-getter.
(02:44):
I've always kind of known deep,deep down where I wanted my
life to go and I went after thatlife.
And the life that I went afterand the life that I would say I
built for myself ended upcompletely like crushing and
(03:05):
falling to the floor.
And you know, it was almostthis like checklist, if you will
, of like I would like this andI would like that.
And here we go.
And now I'm married and I havekids and all these things, and
then I have, you know, a husbandwho is is so depressed and and
so anxious that he can barelyget out of bed and I'm, you know
(03:29):
, people pleasing my way throughlife and trying to take care of
everyone else except myself andstill show up.
You know, for the ones that Ilove it.
Like there was just so manythings that led me to the place
of waking up in the morning andbeing like is this life?
Like, like I can't believe thisis my life.
(03:51):
Like, how did I get here?
Like I didn't expect, you know,the first comes love, then
comes marriage, then comes babyin the baby carriage.
I didn't expect this to be mylife, like, how is this my life?
And with that, I think, I setout on a journey of, like you
know what?
This doesn't have to be my life.
I can start taking care ofmyself.
(04:11):
And um, it was an extremelydifficult road and extremely
difficult path to start focusingin on me and that forced me to
kind of look at my husband,jonathan, and say, like you're a
big boy, I need you to start,you know, getting the help you
need taking care of yourself.
Um, and ultimately, full,transparently, I think he
(04:36):
thought I kind of like went offthe deep end when I started
taking care of myself.
He was like who, who is thisperson?
What is going on here?
Because I, I was such acaregiver, I was such a people
pleaser, I was so used toputting myself at the bottom of
the totem pole, um, thatultimately it ended in a
separating and, um, I knew weweren't doing well, I knew there
(05:01):
was a potential of us notmaking it, but at the same time,
I also knew I wouldn't be ableto live with myself if something
happened to Jonathan and I wasthe one that said you know,
we're done and, um, he ended updeciding to get a divorce and it
was ultimately because Istarted doing the work and
(05:24):
taking care of myself.
Yeah, and I also knew like we'reboth drowning here and the kids
are getting older and someone'sgot to be able to take care of
the kids and you know, likesomeone's got to be out of bed,
someone's got to be doing allthese things and we were
separated for a while.
(05:51):
We were separated for a whileand, long story short, jonathan
had attempted in the past, buthe did end up taking his own
life in 2021.
And I would say that that's thebiggest, you know, turning
point in my life that's trulyshifted who I am and the life
(06:12):
that I lead.
And, um, I was so fortunateenough this this sounds weird,
but I was fortunate enough to dothe work on myself prior to him
passing that I knew the tools,the tools.
I had already startedsupporting the kids and and
giving them the tools beforeJonathan passed, but they were
all the more important andpresent once he passed and you
(06:32):
know there's so many individualsthat talk about when I first
started doing this work, I hadto use words like overwhelm,
burnout.
Honestly, that those werepretty much the buzzwords tired,
exhausted, depleted.
Like people didn't understand,when I started doing this years
ago, the word dysregulation.
(06:54):
They didn't understand the wordoverstimulation.
They didn't understand the word, you know, sensory and
emotional regulation, or nervoussystem Like that wasn't really
discussed when I first starteddoing this, and so I had to kind
of take my, my humans and mycommunity on a journey and I
eventually finally startedtalking about the nervous system
(07:15):
, and I think there's so muchwithin the nervous system that
can be so beneficial.
But the piece that's missingfrom most places that I or other
communities, or even just likebooks and things like that the
piece that's missing is thesensory and emotional regulation
(07:37):
piece, because and I'm suremore people understand the
emotional regulation piece thanthe sensory side but every
single one of our brainsfunction differently, and so I
didn't know how my brainfunctioned.
There is no way I could havetaken care of myself through the
thick of grief and being a soloparent while running a business
, because I had started mybusiness before Jonathan passed.
(07:59):
There's no way I could havesupported my children if I
didn't understand how theirbrain functions sensory wise,
with all the stimuli coming atthem.
Emotional regulation wise, likethere's no way that I could
have supported them in the waythat I feel was necessary.
Yeah so much guilt and shame interms of, well, I should be able
(08:27):
to keep it together, or Ishould be able to just journal
and be happy, or I should beable to meditate and what.
Like everyone else takes timeto meditate.
Like, why can't I find the time?
Or like, okay, you know, likebox breathing, cool, but like,
when do I have time for that?
You know, there's there's somany different pieces and so
much of the nervous system is soimportant to understand.
And you know, now the bigbuzzword is somatics and that's
(08:47):
yeah, I was going to ask aboutthat too.
It's basically just a tool,like it's a, it's a tool for you
to be able to use, but it's onetool, right?
So, like, you see these reelsthat are like, shove your face
in an ice bucket of water.
If your child is like doesn'thave have, you know, the body
strength to sit up straight inthe tub and you need to watch
(09:08):
them still, or they're splashingwater outside of the tub and
you're the lights are bright andthey're they're giggling and
laughing and it's echoing withthe tile and like, at what point
are you gonna go grab a bucketof ice and be like, hold on, let
me just shove my face in abucket of ice.
This will totally regulateregulate me.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Like it has to be.
You have to understand yourbrain and your body and then be
able to co-create the tools ofwhat is going to work for me,
what is what is going to be bestfor my individual brain.
And that's basically what I do,and it has shifted my entire
(09:45):
life and gotten me through someof the hardest years of my life
and supported my childrenthrough the hardest years of my
life, and I could go on and on.
Clearly, because I'm verypassionate about it and I love
it, and it's wonderful to beable to witness other
individuals journeys of life andtrust me with their lives and
(10:08):
trust me with their journeys, tobe able to help them navigate
and understand this informationfor themselves.
And, you know, move throughlife journeys or move through
trauma, or move through grief orwhatever it is that they
individually are going through.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, what's fascinating about your journey
is that you started withdoctorate in occupational
therapy and initially youstarted working with children,
but then you transition intoworking with parents.
Can you tell me why there wasthat transition, why you thought
that was important At the Oncea Day podcast?
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Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah, that's such a great question.
So I worked with kids forprobably over a decade.
I did the hospital setting, Idid home health.
I did I mean, you name it I didschool settings.
I did it, I did medicaldaycares.
And I ended up, when I lived inNew Orleans, owning my own
clinic.
We started renting out a room,like literally just a room, and
(11:38):
by the time I sold it to mybusiness partner when I was
moving here to Texas.
We were in like a 3000 squarefoot facility.
So like, like I like it, brookedoes something, she like does
it right.
So like, we did it up and likewe, we, we built the thing.
We built it and I wanted it tobe different than what was
offered, because I had seen somany different clinical settings
(12:01):
and none of it to be completelyblunt with you was working.
Like none of it was working.
And after we moved here to Texas, because of Jonathan's job, he
got a job here and my family waslike what are you doing?
This is your career, you'vebuilt your life Like your.
Your career matters too.
(12:22):
And I like had to silent thepeanut gallery and I was like
hold on, like am I happy?
Do I enjoy this and I had twopremature babies.
They were very, very young.
I was taking care of Jonathanwho was also very unwell, if you
will, and I was like I'm doinga million different things but
(12:42):
I'm not doing one, oneindividual thing very well.
And so I decided to sell thatbusiness and move to Texas and I
took some time off and tried todecide what went well in that
business, what didn't go well,what I would have done
differently, what I necessarilyfeel that my strengths were.
(13:02):
And from that I realized thatparents were coming to us
because we are stretched soincredibly thin that we have no
more time to add, let's say,quote OT homework to our plate
of like you know, here's mychild for an hour a week.
Please fix them with all thegoals that you have for them or
(13:23):
whatever it is going on.
And voila, it's not going towork.
I can't see your child for onehour a week and say yes, 1000%.
I know that this is going tofix the sensory things that are
going on with them, because youhave no idea how their brain
functions.
You have no idea how your brainfunctions and I understand that
(13:45):
.
Like they would drop the childoff at our clinic, go run to the
grocery because they had anhour to get something done and
come back and I was like it hasto start with us as well.
As you know, when I starteddoing the work on myself, I
realized I know how to be an OTand I know how to be a mom, but
how do I like navigate beingboth at the same time without
(14:06):
like putting my OT hat on andpretending as though, okay, I'm,
I'm your clinician right now,right?
So I, through that journey oftaking care of me, really
explored all of the knowledgethat I had and all the
schoolwork that I had, you know,gone through, and I I was
honestly like client number oneand I did trial and error to
(14:30):
figure out the method that I nowteach of how I teach sensory
and emotional regulation and themethod we take to shift the
patterns in the brain and reallyget your brain out of fight or
flight, and not just get it outof fight or flight but really
pattern it to stay more in aregulated state.
Um, and again, I recognize thatit has to start with with the
(14:56):
big humans, it has to start withus, and so, you know, it was a
very easy transition for me tomove into parents because I
wanted to help them understandhow to regulate their own brain.
And once they got it, once theyfelt it, once they understood
it, it was like, boom, now I cansee it on my child, now I know
how to support my child.
(15:17):
Now I know how to you know,impart this wisdom.
And I built this method that isusable and user-friendly, I
would say, for all humans,whether you're, you know, an
adult or a child.
And it just kind of snowballedfrom there and now I see, I see
all individuals.
(15:37):
I see parents, non-parents, Isee a lot of high performance,
just career driven humans orhigh performance CEOs who have
no idea how to enjoy the lifethat they've worked so hard to
create.
We work with teens.
I mean, you name it, we see it,because a brain is a brain is a
(15:58):
brain.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, it's interesting with the high
performing entrepreneurs andpeople who are operating on that
caliber.
I find that you know, from beingaround those people,
interviewing some of thesuccessful entrepreneurs and
people who have built the 1%companies and so forth, what I
find is that a lot of them havehad really dysfunctional
(16:21):
childhoods not all, but a lot ofthem have.
And so, in a sense, from myperspective now you correct me
if I'm wrong they grew up inenvironments where there was
there was this high stress,cortisol levels that were up,
and then they're using that samestressors and that like level
of stress to to deal with thestresses is business and
(16:42):
everything else and at somepoint they haven't learned to
fully regulate and be able to beat ease and just enjoy, like be
on vacation and just read thebooks, sit back and relax or
whatever it is that would berelaxing to them.
And so how do you help thosepeople who are always on,
they're always high functioning,they are.
(17:03):
Just they don't even know howto not be in stress and actually
, from what I observed, they'remore comfortable being that
level then.
So how do you help those people?
What would you say to someonewho's like how do you break
those patterns?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
so the reason they prefer to maintain that high I'm
going to call it like highperformance, dysfunctional, over
functioning, level right, orstimulated, like, yes, all the
things the reason they staythere is is you are correct,
because their brain has patternto stay there, and so our brain
(17:39):
craves structure, stability andcontrol.
And so if that's where you feelthe most safe is, go go,
stability and control.
And so if that's where you feelthe most safe is, go, go, go, go
, go, go, go, go, go, go going,you are going to feel broken,
you're going to feel lazy,you're going to feel out of
control, you're going to feelyou can even it's, it's like a
crash, it's even like a comedown from, like a high right
(18:01):
Like you, it is veryuncomfortable to to slow down,
extremely uncomfortable.
And whether they have come froma family life of modeling, um,
that fast pace, right I thoseare more of my seeker clients
it's you.
You need to think of it as likea gas pedal, right.
(18:23):
So the way that I look at myclients is we have the gas pedal
, we have the break and we needto learn how to throttle between
the two, because if you aresomeone who does public speaking
, you absolutely need to likehype yourself up, get the energy
going and like get thatcortisol going to be able to be
like what's up guys like and hopon stage Right.
(18:45):
But, that energy is not alwaysnecessary, right?
If you're like in the midst ofa deal and you've got a deadline
and all of it comes togetherand you've got all of this like
big, high energy and extra, youknow, hormones shooting through
you and everything comestogether at the last moment,
it's going to feel like a hit ofdopamine, it's going to feel
good, and so we want another one, and we want another one and we
(19:07):
want another one.
But if we pattern our brain, orif our brain is naturally the
disposition of our brain isnaturally in that state, then we
have to work to to throttle, wehave to work to learn to step
on the brakes.
So, for instance, my brain, athousand percent, is seeking
(19:29):
brain, right?
So I'm a gas pedal.
If you are a gas pedal, youwant to be performing and you
want to be going, but your brainand body cannot keep up.
And so that's when you're goingto crash and burn, or that's
when you're going to snap atyour loved ones, or that's when
you're going to zone out on yourphone, or that's when you know
you're going to be in a reallypissed off mood and you're just
(19:51):
going to be like enough, right,like that's when you're not
going to be able to be in thecreative brain, you're not going
to be able to be present.
Your brain is literally offlineat that point because it's
trying to keep you safe and itthinks there's a bear chasing
you, or it thinks that you needto stop drop and roll, right.
And so we need to be able toretrain the brain to be able to
(20:11):
say there is no bear chasing me.
There is, you know, fire that Ineed to stop drop and roll.
And I explain the work that wedo is kind of like a smoke
detector, right.
So your brain is alwayssniffing out threats, just like
your smoke detector.
And when you're sniffing outthreats, if you're living in
that that over-functioning, highperformance, overstimulated,
(20:34):
dysregulated fight or flightstate, your brain is going to be
highly, highly, highlysensitive.
Your smoke detector is going tobe sniffing out the smoke from
the third floor that you knowyou're cooking on the first
right it's.
Every little tiny, itty bittything is going to set you off
right, and so we need to be ableto readjust that nervous system
(20:54):
, and that's, frankly, what Ihad to do with my own brain is a
recognize.
Okay, where, where do I lie onthis spectrum of sensory
regulation.
What are the behaviors of mybrain, right?
Like we think of the languageof our brain as the words coming
out of our mouth, the languageof your brain is actually your
(21:15):
behaviors, right?
It's how you're functioning.
And if we can understand howwe're functioning and then we
can tap into how, how does thisfunctioning feel and and and how
does it feel within my body andis it serving me or is it
depleting me?
Or am I miserable and notpresent and snapping at my kids?
(21:37):
And I want to be happy and calmand peace and joy, like.
How do we get there, right?
How do we take our foot off theaccelerator and very slowly,
very slowly, step on the brakeand you're never going to lose
that drive.
You're never going to lose thatlust for what you do, but you
(21:58):
can um help have.
It's almost like going from anautomatic to like a stick shift
right.
You are in the driver's seatand you have control over when
you floor it and when you'relike you know what it's time to
tap out and like put it inneutral or park.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, and with you.
You said you had to learn howyour brain operates right,
because you're one of thosepeople who's on the go.
I'm kind of like that too in myown way, where, you know, I
have to say no to a lot ofthings myself, like no, no, no,
you don't have the capacity forthat, we're going to not even
think about that, and my brainis like oh, I got a new idea.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Let's work on that.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
And it's like wait, wait, wait, no, no, no.
Slow down Always.
Yeah, I need to excel here.
You know I'm going to say no tothat.
And you know, and I'm sure inyour shoes too, you get a lot of
opportunities, a lot ofdifferent doors that open up.
Right, and you have to say noto that.
With learning your own brain.
Like what did you discover?
(22:54):
When did you realize?
Like this is what I need, thisis how I need to slow down or
this is how I need to reset.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, that's a really great question.
I think I've said that to everysingle one of your questions
today.
It was the exploration ofmyself.
It was, you know, number oneunderstanding my sensory and
emotional makeup.
Like truly understanding.
Am I a seeker?
Am I an avoider?
Do I register the world aroundme?
(23:25):
Am I highly sensitive tostimuli?
If I am highly sensitive tostimuli, what stimuli am I
highly sensitive to and how doesall of this functioning make me
feel?
How does all this functioningsupport or not support my
overall mental health?
That's truly what it boils downto is your mental health.
(23:50):
And going on that exploration, Imean my life is completely
different.
For instance, I used to wearreally tight clothes.
Now, I was a dancer growing upand so I wore a lot of leotards
right, and so not only was mybody used to wearing tight
clothes, but I think that mybody craved the deep pressure
(24:10):
and the feedback from theclothes within my nervous system
as a way of regulating mynervous system right know, loose
, comfortable clothes that thataren't like binding on my body.
I I'm, I'm giving myself, youknow, less stimuli through my
(24:33):
clothing, if you will, to beable to support my overall
functioning of regulation.
So little tiny bitty things cangive you gas back in the tank,
Right I?
I choose slower, if you will II I wonder if you know anyone
listening to this.
Do you actually taste your food, right Check?
in if you're actually tastingyour food.
(24:54):
Um, my, my house used to befull of bright colors, same with
my clothing.
You see, full of bright colors.
I'd have you know artwork thatwas really bright and I wanted I
just liked really loud, fun,vibrant and I wanted to be like
the bell of the ball.
I'm I mean my whole house.
I've I've changed paint colorsand shifted and it's all muted
(25:17):
and peaceful.
People walk in and they're likethis looks like a spa and I'm
like, exactly, that's exactlywhat I wanted it to look like,
right, like you know.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
that's interesting that you say that, because
looking at your website, right,I was just thinking that usually
you know people who have adoctor in front of their name or
you know they're wearing a suitand this and that.
And one thing that I observedon just looking through your
website is all the photos thatyou have.
They are very soft.
The clothes that you're wearing.
You feel really comfortable andbeing you know who you are.
And also I love your hair.
(25:47):
By the way, I am I have alittle hair envy there with the
curls, but yeah, that yourwebsite that is what it projects
is is it's comfortable.
You're wearing like, almostlike your sweats and different
things like that that are justlike you being fully who you are
and that is.
That's beautiful.
But it's also, like you'resaying, that's comfortable and
(26:07):
it's intentional in resemblingthat peace and that comfort and
just like being yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
The wildest part is that I say that sensory and
emotional regulation of yournervous system is at the core.
What everyone should understandwhen it comes to mental health
Like that is, the core of mentalhealth is your nervous system
and your brain, rather than,again, just psychology and just,
you know, talk therapy if youwill.
Um, but the craziest thing isdoing this work on yourself is
(26:43):
there's a lot of layers and, andyou know, shadow work, if you
will, and and triggers that youneed to move through because at
the end of the day, you arefinally like putting down the
baton of who you think you needto be and finally accepting the
person that you are.
And once you understand thatbeing who you are allows you to
(27:05):
have much more mental healththan masking or avoiding or
keeping up with the Joneses orcontinuing to put on a front and
just smiling and going to theevent when you're like I do not
want to F and B here right nowyou know, that is going to
(27:26):
ultimately make you happy.
That is ultimately what's goingto be the thing that supports
your brain and your body intofully showing up for you.
Finally, I've had clients whohave gone through working with
us and they dye their hair, theyget tattoos, they get piercings
.
They crazy enough lose weight,which we're not even working on
(27:50):
you know like they just and, butby understanding all the
different stimuli andunderstanding how their body is
affected by that stimuli, they,they finally release.
Oh well, Joe Schmo, over here,you know, like the perfect
example is, you know, MarthaStewart or Kim Kardashian, or
(28:11):
you know people who have reallybuilt this persona, who've
really, they have a brand andthey have a lifestyle and and
they want you to only seecertain things.
And that's just two humans.
But we could, I mean, we coulddo a huge laundry list of people
(28:31):
who, who show up and want toportray a certain life, and so,
especially with consuming socialmedia and how fast the world
functions and works these days,we think that is what we should
do, or how we should keep up, oreven the community that we grew
up in.
And there's just so many thingsthat come into play when you
(28:51):
think of, like, how did I gethere?
And to be able to finally showup as who you're most
authentically meant to be,literally is the difference
between depression and anxietyand chronic illness versus
full-blown mental health of justenjoying your life.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah, yeah, that's so good.
I think too, for me, on mypersonal journey, the death of
my mom was the thing that causedme to pause, reflect and
completely just say, okay, howdo I actually want to live my
life?
Because I've been in a hamsterwheel of being an entrepreneur,
raising a family, you know, justgo, go, go.
And I just been barely, just,you know, grasping for air,
(29:33):
essentially, and then learningabout the nervous system and
going to therapy and doing allthese things and it's like whoa,
this is.
I'm functioning so differentlythan I did when I was just
running, Surviving yeah,surviving Really, where you're
not really taking the time, likeyou said, to think like who am
(29:53):
I actually and what is the lifethat I want to live, and what
does that look like?
And I'm curious too with you.
You said I heard you say thisbefore that you feel like the
mental health today isn't reallyworking, which is why you do
the work you do today.
So I'm curious to know intowhat do you feel is the
(30:14):
difference between, like mindsetand the way that we think?
Because thoughts are powerful,right, they create a reality for
us.
Then you know there's a nervousregulation that you do, and
then there's therapy and there'sall these things like what is
it about mental health that youfeel like isn't working and
what's the what's the solutionfor that?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yeah, you know again, right now, mental health is
considered psychology, it'sconsidered talk therapy, it's
considered um, talking andmoving and moving through and
getting to the core and.
But the one of the things Iwould say is the difficult
(30:56):
pieces is kind of similar to howI was treating kiddos and I was
like, once a week, for an houris not going to cut it If I work
with a client or if any of myteam works with clients or if
they join any of my programs.
There is 24-7 support, becausethat's where the real life stuff
(31:17):
happens and we need to be ableto catch it in real time to be
able to truly shift the patterns, to truly be able to utilize
the tools that we work throughand utilizing the understanding
of where am I feeling this in mybody?
Like what is going on, like how, how, how am I feeling?
(31:38):
Like, do I actually want to goto the parade or do I want to go
to the birthday party or am Iready to leave?
Am I ready to be done?
And not making decisions basedoff of a prescribed way of life,
but deciding that your brain isthe ultimate guide.
It's almost like the dashboardin your car right, like if
(31:59):
there's an check engine light.
You know, like, are you goingto actually check the engine?
Are you going to wait until youfinally are on the side of the
road calling AAA?
You know, like, are you goingto actually check the engine?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
are you going?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
to wait until you finally are on the side of the
road calling triple a right, youknow.
And if we don't understandwhat's underneath the hood of
the car, there's no way possiblewe're going to be able to fully
have that mental health that somany of us long for.
And it takes people fromthinking I'm crazy, I'm broken.
Why can't I keep it togetherLike everyone else?
(32:28):
Why can't I do it Like theKardashians are like?
Why can't, like they can, keepgoing?
And I mean, yeah, I brought upMartha Stewart, but what I like
to say, martha Stewart went tojail Like like she's not so
perfect either.
You know what I mean.
Like right, we don't have toalways be these perfect humans,
but what we should do is listeninto our brain and our body.
(32:50):
And if everyone did that, andeven if we had that conversation
or that knowledge or thateducation for kids, imagine a
life where you chose a careerbased on knowing what would be
best for your brain.
You chose a partner based onknowing what you crave and need,
(33:11):
Like you're saying what do youneed?
Right.
Like if you chose a partnerbased on saying I know these are
my needs, I know this is how Iregulate my nervous system and I
need to find someone who cansupport those needs, not fix.
We're not codependent here.
We don't want someone to fix us.
But you know, I have a partnernow, and my first partner,
(33:37):
Jonathan, versus my partner now,Carter, two completely
different humans, but I'mcompletely different because I'm
functioning completelydifferent.
But I'm completely differentbecause I'm functioning
completely different.
I'm much more aware of my bodyand what, what I need and how I
function best and the type ofpartner that's going to be able
(33:58):
to be in my life to support me.
Right Again not fixed, butsupport and vice versa.
I want to be able to supporthim in the ways that he needs.
And so imagine a world where wefirst understood what's
underneath the hood of the carand then we took driver's ed and
(34:18):
, and we took driver's ed rightTo understand what's underneath
the hood of the car and then,right, you get your learner's
permit and then you drive right.
Yeah, we're not doing that.
Feelings weren't even discussed.
You know, like my mother thinksI'm like that shit crazy.
When I first started she's likewhat are you doing?
Like it was wildlyuncomfortable for her and I was
(34:43):
like I got this, like just trustit, like I know what I'm doing
here.
But you know our parents andtheir parents this was not like
my grandmother thought chewinggum was rude, right, like we're
in a much different society ofevolving into, leaning into who
(35:03):
we are and our emotions andfeelings, and you've got to do
the exploration if you want tobe able to understand the full
picture.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah, that's so good.
What are three simple thingsour listeners can do today to
begin co-regulating themselvesor their kids?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, I get this question every single time I'm
on a podcast.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
And I feel like I know what you're gonna say.
It's tailored for everybody'sdifferent depending on your
brain, right?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
everyone so, like I wish, you know, like I wish that
I could get on my page and dothe ice bucket or the or the.
Do these simple three things toregulate your nervous system.
Now, if I, I gotta tell you, ifI did that I would be selling
you bullshit.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Like.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
I would be selling a lie or like trying to.
You know, like it's.
It's different for everyone,depending on your, your brain,
depending on how you function,and and if anyone tries to say,
like it's journaling, like signme up, like you're gonna do a
journaling exercise for 30 daysand you're gonna meditate your
way to heaven and like and youknow this, like euphoric state
(36:14):
every day, like that, look, Idon't.
I'm saying these things becauseI don't have time to box
breathe and I don't have time tojournal and I don't have time
to meditate.
But what I will tell you isthat I know how to regulate my
nervous system right, and whatworks for me may not work for
someone else, right?
If I have an excess of cortisoland energy and I am heightened.
I can't just lay in bed and belike okay, like this is gonna
(36:37):
just come down, I need to goexpend the energy.
When I was moving through grief, my nanny's husband came over
one time to put a table togetherand he I don't think he had met
me yet and he was like where'sBrooke?
And she pointed me out and Iwas like Speedy Gonzalez, like
walking in the dead of summer,just like horse bra and shorts,
(37:00):
like the neighborhood probablywas like who's this wacko girl?
But like I needed to expend theenergy in order to come down.
Not everyone needs to do thatright.
It depends on what's going on inyour life.
My one of my clients was likegot it, when I'm upset and angry
, I need to, you know, have somenice warm tea and a book.
(37:20):
I'm going to write that down.
Anger equals this and I waslike hold on, like you may need
something different the nexttime you feel anger.
You may need somethingdifferent the next time this,
this or that that happens.
So it's having a toolkit ofunderstanding and listening into
(37:40):
your brain and body and thenbeing able to open up the
toolkit and say what would feelgood for me right now?
What would take care of meright now?
What would support wherever I'mat right?
Speaker 1 (37:52):
now.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
And I think the first step, rather than saying what
are the three steps you can taketo regulate yourself, I would
say the first step you can takeis start getting curious and
learning about your nervoussystem and learning about your
sensory system.
Like I've said, these buzzwordsare you a seeker?
Are you an avoider?
Do you register the worldaround you?
(38:14):
Are you, you know, sensorysensitive to stimuli like?
Start getting curious andlearning your brain makeup.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Yeah, no, that's so good.
It's probably why I hateshopping at the malls.
I cannot stand the over likethe music the too many choices,
all of that.
I hate shopping.
I love to look good, I lovegreat stylish clothes, but don't
take me to the mall, yeah,because it's just, it's too much
.
Like I walk out of there I'mlike I'm not buying anything, I
can't.
I can't even do this right now,overwhelmed.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Absolutely Well.
I love too that what you teachis essentially like putting on
the mask before you help someoneelse, because, especially for
the moms listening and theparents listening we tend to
take care of everybody elsebefore we take care of ourselves
.
What advice do you have for amom who's a mom who stays at
(39:10):
home?
Maybe she comes back from work,but either way she's, she's at
the limit where you know she'soverstimulated by work, by kids.
She comes home or she is homefull time.
And what can she do?
What is like some practicalthings that she can do to just
regulate a bit and take thepressure off?
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Yeah, so I do work with, with plenty of of moms who
know how to take care ofeveryone else but themselves
(39:52):
post years ago, about how I usedto put my kids down for a nap
on Sundays, um, and go to thegrocery during that nap time
when I could make sure thatJonathan could also lay down.
But when I went to the groceryit wasn't like I was like like
looking at new, you know thethings and new products and
deciding what to cook.
It was like you better hurry upand get your ass home before
(40:12):
these kids wake up, because Iwanted to make sure that I was
supporting Jonathan in every waythat I could and never, ever,
ever, thinking about myself.
And the most important piece isthat you know you matter too,
like we all matter and we alldeserve to be able to feel safe
(40:33):
in our own bodies and brains.
And I don't care if you putyourself at the top of the totem
pole, maybe that's notrealistic, but putting yourself
maybe in the mix, right, andsaying, saying no to the play
date and, you know, just sayingI really wish we could make it,
but unfortunately we can't.
Like period the end, not oh,because Johnny's got a da, da,
(40:56):
da, da, or like walking into thebook club and them being like
hey, and you being like I am notgood, like I'm not good Right,
like taking ownership of whereyou're at and giving yourself a
sliver of the pie is like you'reso worthy of that and it's so
out of it will will tenfoldreturn in the amount of capacity
(41:17):
you gain to show up for yourkids and the capacity you can't
you can gain to reconnect withyour partner and finally enjoy
(41:39):
the life that you're working sodamn hard to create.
You know, like you're workingso hard to build this life, why
not enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (41:47):
That's so good.
That's such an importantmessage.
Yeah, I love that.
If you could whisper one truthinto every woman's ear who feels
lost, overextended, what wouldthat be?
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(42:09):
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(42:30):
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Speaker 2 (42:39):
I would say you matter enough to gift yourself
the gift of support, because somany of us can talk ourselves
out of oh well, we, you know, wehave the vacation coming up or
we have, you know, I'll justread the book or I'll do the
podcast and I'll listen to that.
Or, um, no, it's fine, I'll dothis later.
(43:00):
Oh, it's, you know what today'sbetter.
So, like it's, you know, likeit's fine, it's better today.
And we, like it's, you know,like it's fine, it's better
today.
And we, as specifically women,can, like jedi mind, trick
ourselves into again taking careof everyone but ourselves.
And that whisper would be tellyourself, you're worthy enough
(43:21):
to give yourself the gift ofsupport.
Like, if you don't think thatyou can do this on your own,
that does not mean you're broken.
And again, what you get back,like it is a gift, it's you know
it's.
It's hard to financially investin yourself and get the support
, but what you will get back.
(43:41):
And it's hard to also know whatthat crystal ball will be like
at the end of getting somesupport.
But you're so worth it and youcannot fix everyone else.
And it was the hardest thing Iever did when I finally decided
to take care of myself.
And you know, I, I it.
(44:02):
It was choosing myself over.
As as odd as this sounds, likeit was choosing myself over, as
odd as this sounds like it waschoosing myself over another
human.
Like I chose to take care ofmyself and say, Jonathan, I love
you, but I'm worthy of this aswell, like I'm worthy of being
healthy and whole and enjoyingmy life and and it's it's the
(44:25):
hardest thing I've ever done,but it's.
I wouldn't be where I am todayif I hadn't taken care of myself
.
And I don't think that I'd beable to support my kids the way
that I do if I hadn't taken careof myself.
And that's not to say you knowit's, it's okay that what
happened to him happened.
Right, it's not okay.
And and it's devastating.
(44:47):
And I've moved through griefand I've had, you know, years to
to move through that, um, but II knew it needed to happen and
having the courage to say I'mworthy, that's that's where it's
at.
It's that's the hardest part,that's where it's at.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
That's the hardest part.
Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah Well, you have anincredible online community as
well.
You offer digital courses.
You offer one-on-one coaching.
There's so much.
Is there anything you'd love toshare with the listeners?
Just to briefly what it is, howthey can, where they can find
you, what kind of support andhelp you can offer through your
services.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Sure, my hub is basically Instagram and you can
find me at Brooke, with an E andthen half of my last name,
w-e-i-n-s-t, so it's BrookeWeinst.
You can look for the big curlyhair and you'll find me.
Most of our information isthere.
But, again, we're on YouTubeand TikTok and LinkedIn.
(45:50):
I mean, we're everywhere andyou're more than welcome to
reach out.
We offer one-on-ones, we havegroup programs.
We do have on-demand courses.
We have a monthly membership.
Community.
We've tried to make sure thatthere's something for everyone.
Community.
We've tried to make sure thatthere's something for everyone,
(46:11):
truly financially, that anyonecan afford if they want and
crave this work.
I feel like this is somethingthat everyone has a right to
truly understand their brain andbody.
That's your, your own right tounderstand how you know, you
function and how you work.
So there's plenty ofopportunities and, um, yeah, I,
(46:32):
I would love to support and weas a community would love to
support anyone, and you cancheck us out at all the places.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Yeah, is there a book on the horizon?
Cause I've seen you can jointhe wait list for a book, so are
you allowed?
Speaker 2 (46:45):
to talk about that yet.
Yeah, sure, I also have apodcast called Thrive Like a
Parent.
We mostly talk about humanstuff, not just parenting stuff.
But, yes, there's a book thatwill eventually come out, but it
was derailed, excuse me, whenJonathan passed and I needed to
(47:07):
focus in on different parts ofthe business and different parts
of my life and my children'slife, and there's so much to say
and there's so much that feelslike such just so much to put in
there.
And, yes, it has started, thechapters have begun to be
written and eventually it willbe shared with the world.
(47:31):
So, yes, Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
I can't wait to hear more about it when it's on the
horizon.
Well, I usually end the podcastby asking with a few questions.
One of them is what is thebravest thing that Brooke has
ever done?
Speaker 2 (47:44):
Okay, the bravest thing I have absolutely ever
done was was get out of bed andand start taking care of me,
because I knew potentially whatthat could mean for someone
else's life um, as well as myown and my children's and
(48:06):
getting up, doing this work,taking care of myself and and
doing the hard work because thiswork isn't easy.
Like even you saying, likeyou've done so much on yourself,
like I'm sure you can attest tothis Like this isn't always fun
, like it's not always fun tolike move through the parts and
pieces Sometimes it'sgut-wrenching and painful and
all the things.
(48:27):
So I would say the bravestthing I've ever done is is get
back in the driver's seat of myown life.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
Yeah, that's so good and it's so true, and I've I've
said this to close friends likeI see why there's people that
don't want to change and don'twant to do the work, because it
is really hard and it's like theconsistent effort where you're
just going on and on and on whatis a book that was
transformative for you.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Oh, the Body Keeps the Score is fantastic.
And then, my hands downfavorite, it's a simple book.
It'll take you like an hour anda half to read it.
It's called the Crossroads ofShould and Must and it's just
like a street sign and it'sbasic and it's beautiful and the
(49:15):
artwork is just incredible init and it's just so simple.
But it's like, if you don'tknow the road to take, you can
ask yourself is this a should oris this a must?
It can simplify life in thatway and, um, for many, many
months, really, really early on,it was probably one of the
(49:36):
first books I ever read.
Getting involved in this workand I carried it in my purse for
months.
It was like I just needed itclose to me to give me the
courage to like make those harddecisions.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
I love that.
And the last one is what's thebest piece of advice someone
gave you?
Speaker 2 (49:59):
The best piece of advice someone has given me.
The best piece of now.
I know what I had to think fora second.
The best piece of advicesomeone has ever given me the
best piece of now.
I know it.
I had to think for a second.
Um, the best piece of advicesomeone has ever given me is
parent the child in front of you, not the child you fear they
will become.
And my children have a 50percent higher rate or risk of
(50:27):
of suicide because of Jonathan.
It's just statistics, and I'vehad incredible humans and
mentors in my life along my ownjourney, um to continue my own
learning or to continue beingable to bring new and awesome
information to my own clientsand um, as I was moving through
(50:47):
fear for my own children of whatthis will look like, I was, for
sure, parenting at one pointfrom a place of fear of and and
being gentle and, you know, notsaying the thing or or holding
them accountable, because I wasso fearful of who they would
become.
Um, and so now I parent thechild in front of me rather than
(51:09):
who I fear they will become,and it has liberated my ability
to show up for them in manydifferent ways and parent them
in the way that they need,rather than out of fear.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
Wow, that's so good, and I'm personally curious what
do you call your dance style?
Because I just want to knowwhat is that called.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
I don't know what my dance style is.
You know, I'll dance since theage of two.
I wanted to go out toCalifornia and dance instead of
go to college and my parentswere like best of luck with that
, and so I ended up going tocollege and this has been a way
for me to incorporate the thingthat I love most in my life, the
thing that is so regulating forme and truly taught me how to
(51:54):
feel my feelings throughmovement and emotion and dance
and all the things.
Um, and yeah, I used to do iton the counter in my kitchen and
and post all my reels, and nowit's more just on the floor, um,
in my den, but I would just Idon't know the style, but what I
(52:16):
would say is it's, it's myfavorite way to regulate.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
I love that.
Well, it's been such an honortalking to you.
Thank you so much for sharingyour gift.
Yeah, I really appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for listening to theOnce we Dare podcast.
It is an honor to share theseencouraging stories with you.
If you enjoy the show, I wouldlove for you to tell your
friends.
Leave us a reviewer rating andsubscribe to wherever you listen
to podcasts, because this helpsothers discover the show.
(52:46):
You can find me on my website,speckhopawcom.
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