The Brochure on Finding Joy Despite Life's Best Intentions

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What if the secret to happiness isn't complicated at all, but simply requires us to choose joy daily? After losing someone who was like a second mother to me, I've been reflecting deeply on how we navigate life's challenges while still maintaining our sense of purpose and happiness.

June has mysteriously become a month of pivotal moments in my life - when pets joined our family, jobs began and ended, and sadly, when loved ones passed away. This pattern of beginnings and endings prompted me to examine how we respond to both joy and grief. While supporting a friend through the uncomfortable process of making funeral arrangements at a decidedly creepy local mortuary, I couldn't help but consider how differently people approach hardship.

Some individuals face chronic illness, tremendous loss, or ongoing struggles yet maintain an inspiring positive outlook. Others seem determined to focus on what's wrong despite having their basic needs met. The contrast is striking and begs the question: what makes the difference? As a self-proclaimed "glass half-full kind of gal," I'm challenging you to evaluate your own life. If you're not enjoying most of your days, what changes might you need to make? Is it your job causing the most discomfort? Your relationships? Your living situation?

The reality that none of us knows how much time we have isn't just a platitude - it's a profound truth that should inform how we live. Every day truly is a gift, and recognizing this can transform how we experience even the most mundane moments. Join me as we explore finding joy amidst life's inevitable challenges, and discover why choosing happiness isn't selfish - it's necessary.

What brings you joy today? I'd love to hear your thoughts as we navigate adulting together with humor and light.

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Episode Transcript

Tracy (00:00):
Maybe you've guessed I'm a glass half full kind of gal.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life, that youdidn't get enough guidance about
major life issues?
So did I.

(00:21):
You don't have to be an onlychild to feel this way.
In my podcast, we'll exploresome of the best ways to better
navigate adulting, while doingso with humor and light.
Welcome everyone to the OnlyChild Diaries podcast.
Today I'm going to talk aboutfinding joy.

(00:50):
Now don't stop listening.
If you listened to last week,you know that I lost a friend,
my husband and I, my family, mysmall family.
We lost a family friend, reallymy second mother, and very

(01:14):
quickly.
She died on June 29th.
And well, first of all, I justwant to say what's up with June?
June has for some reason,become a pivotal month in my
life where there are a lot ofbeginnings and a lot of endings,

(01:37):
and maybe you can relate tothis this.
But once Neliya went into thehospital, it was only a matter
of a week plus two days, really,when she passed away.
But one of those days, thatweek, I was thinking don't let

(01:58):
her die in June, and I mean Iknew she was going to pass away,
but just because there's somany anniversaries that are in
June.
So June was the month where wegot our horse, dallas.
He came to live with us, or notlive with us, but he became our

(02:23):
horse.
It's the day that we adoptedBrownie, our dog.
It's also the day that webrought Bubby, our cat, home
from the barn.
It's the day when I started thejob that I have now.
Also the day when I started mylast job and it's the day when I

(02:44):
started my last job and it'sthe day when I ended my last job
.
I mean not one particular day,but days in the month.
It's obviously the day, one ofthe days, when Neliya passed
away.
For some reason I kept on mycalendar and renewing every year

(03:04):
the day Michael Jackson died.
I don't know why I kept that,but he was a visible fixture of
our lives.
And then it was also when Gina,my friend, and Neliya's

(03:25):
daughter, first daughter or lastdaughter, youngest daughter
passed away in early June andGina's father passed away no,
his birthday, and I'm sure Icould think of others, but
there's just a lot ofanniversaries, good and bad, in
June, so I'm sure that there'ssome purpose to that.

(03:48):
There's some entryway universaland not universal, but universe
entryway and exit, I don't know, in June there's something
about June, right, there'ssomething about June, right.

(04:09):
It's also when I think about itI'm not sure about the specific
day, but it's also really whenmy relationship with Bill
started.
We had met in April but wedidn't, you know, we just talked
a few times and whatnot, butit's really the first time we
spent time together and wereally started our relationship

(04:30):
in June, way back when.
So good things and bad things,anyway, okay.
So, finding joy.
I've been thinking about thisthis week because there's just
always so much going on, right,there's so many things that
happen in the course of a day, aweek, a month in our lives and

(04:55):
in the news and around us, toour friends, our family, our
community, and there's good andbad right being an empath like I
am.
I am an empath, empatheticperson.
It's hard sometimes whenthere's negative things that

(05:17):
happen, like somebody dies, andthis week I did go with my
friend to the mortuary.
I, I, she said she could go byherself, but I didn't want her
to, even though it creeped meout.
This is a little family-run,community-independent mortuary

(05:41):
of sorts in the local town and,dare I say it, it is on the
scale of creepiness, it's prettycreepy.
I don't think that they'veredecorated or refurbished it,
maybe since the 70s.
So the furniture, the walls,the paintings, everything is

(06:19):
just old and kind of cluttered.
It's a strange kind of setup,the way that the building is.
I don't know that it startedout as a mortuary per se.
I'm not sure what it was.
Maybe it was, I don't know.
It's thinking about it.
I'm not sure.
I think it was probably abusiness, unless it was like, um
, some sort of a, uh, apartmentbuilding.

(06:44):
So I it's, it's weird, it'sjust, it's weird and it's creepy
.
I have my own creepy thoughtsabout these places anyway, but
they were very nice.
The people that we encountered,the living people that we

(07:07):
encountered, were very nice andanyway.
So I went with her to thatbecause I thought she needed
moral support and it doesn'tnecessarily bother me, it's not
something I necessarily lookedforward to, but anyway,
irregardless.
So I digress and I worked anddid other stuff, but I think

(07:32):
that there's always things rightin the course of our days and
our week.
Say, if you think about yourlast week right, how many things
brought you joy and how manythings stressed you out or made
you unhappy or made you thinkwhy am I here, what am I doing
Right?
So I'm going to offer up thischallenge.

(07:58):
Is it a challenge?
I'm going to offer up thisthought if you are not enjoying
most of your life because, let'sface it, you're never going to
enjoy all of it but if you arenot enjoying most of your life,
you need to make some changesright?
There's these periods of timewhere you're going to be

(08:20):
experiencing a time, like myfriend is now, where she lost
her mother and she's not goingto experience really any joy at
this time.
I mean, she might have theselittle moments here and there,
but in general, this is going tobe a time need to look at what
is causing you the mostdiscomfort.
Is it your job?

(09:04):
Is it your personalrelationships?
Is it your living situation?
Personal relationships, is ityour living situation?
And you need to think aboutchanging that, because I'm going
to tell you why.
Do you know why?
I'm going to tell you that?
Because we never know how muchtime we have.
I mean, it sounds trite, soundscliche, but it's true.

(09:27):
It sounds trite, sounds cliche,but it's true.
You never know how long youhave.
It could be.
Yeah, you think you're young,you think you're healthy, but
the universe doesn't alwaysagree with that.
I learned many years ago thatevery day is a gift and I know

(09:49):
that sounds so hokey right.
Every day is a gift.
I've realized that because I'veseen people, that I've known
people that have gone suddenlyright For whatever reason, and
as I've aged, I've seen it overand over again.
As I've aged, I've seen it overand over again.

(10:13):
As I've gotten older, I'vecherished every day more and
more.
Every day, I try to findsomething that, because life is

(10:34):
too short and you deserve toenjoy it as much as possible,
you're not going to enjoyeverything.
That's, that's just not.
You're not going to enjoypaying your bills and you're not
going to enjoy doing your taxeswhich, as a reminder, I need to
finish those, but you need tofind joy.

(10:57):
So I'm going to get off mysoapbox for now, but that's
today's message, that's thisweek's message, and some people
are just more adept at this.
Some people you know, we've allseen it right People that have

(11:18):
experienced terrible hardships.
Maybe they've been through atraumatic illness, they have a
chronic disease, they'veexperienced tremendous loss in
their life, whether it be peopleor their house or their, you

(11:39):
know, whatever right, smilingand inspiring.
Right, because they're happy tobe here and they're happy to
have what they have, no matterwhat that is.
And then there's other peoplewho, for whatever reason don't

(12:04):
you know, maybe they have thingsthat other people don't have.
Right, they have a job it's notthe best job or the happiest
job they have a living situation.
I mean, you know, if you have aliving situation and you have a
roof over your head, there's alot of people that don't have
that.
But sometimes people are justbound and determined to be

(12:31):
miserable, no matter what, andit's hard for me to deal with
that long term.
I don't know what to do withthat, because maybe you've
guessed I'm a glass half full,kind of gal.
Anyway, okay, I'm going to getoff my soapbox now.

(12:55):
So find joy, do what you haveto do.
Life's too short.
Okay, every day is a gift.
That's what I'm going to say.
So I want to say before we go,before I go last week I did talk
to you about the podcastinterview that I did with a gal
and I'm going to tell you whatit is.

(13:17):
I'm not sure exactly what thedate is that it's coming out,
but the podcast is called LeadFrom Within and the host is
Michelle Thompson, and if youhave a chance to check it out
even before my episode drops,you certainly can.
I think that she's very sweet.

(13:38):
She's got a lot to say.
She's up in Canada.
She's been doing this for awhile.
She is an only child, by theway, I found out.
I didn't realize that until wewere talking for the interview,
so I'm hoping to have her on, Iguess, on my podcast at some

(14:01):
point down the road, when I getthings kind of sorted out here.
I'm going to need to just takea day off and just do catch up
on all my interviews, I think.
But we had a great conversationand she talks a lot about
emotional intelligence andMichelle is a registered nurse,

(14:27):
ironically and she talks a lotin her podcast.
She interviews guests everyweek and she talks about
leadership in the workplace andreally transforming work into a
place of purpose and connectionand creating workplaces people

(14:49):
never want to leave.
So you have to kind of applaudthat, right, because there's a
lot of workplaces that peoplecan't wait to run out of, am I
wrong?
So I fully support her missionthere we did.
We had a great conversation andif you listen to the episode

(15:12):
when it drops, it's not droppedyet, but if you listen to the
episode you'll hear more aboutme, and she asked me some really
great questions that I wouldn'thave thought about asking me,
so it was impressive.
Anyway, more about that.
I'll tell you more about thespecific date as we get closer,

(15:37):
but I wanted to share that withyou in case you wanted to check
out her podcast too.
Well, folks, that's all I'vegot for today.
I want you to go out there andI want you to find some joy.
All right, that's an order.
Next week we're going to tackleanother topic together.
I hope you'll join me.
If you like this episode,please follow the Only Child

(16:00):
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You're welcome.
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(16:22):
Child Diaries Podcast.
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallace and these arethe Only Child Diaries.