The Brochure on Grieving a TV Show and Taking Care of Yourself

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Spoiler Alert!  Every now and then, our favorite forms of entertainment betray us in unexpected ways. After becoming emotionally invested in the TV show 9-1-1 during my recovery from knee surgery, my husband and I made it our weekly ritual. We loved the creative emergencies, the ensemble cast led by Angela Bassett and Peter Krause, and the camaraderie among the fictional firefighters of the 118. Then (spoiler alert!) came the episode that changed everything.

When the showrunners decided to kill off Captain Bobby Nash, I wasn't just surprised—I felt genuinely betrayed. While I understand their desire to honor the reality that first responders sometimes die in the line of duty, I couldn't help but question: isn't entertainment supposed to provide escapism? With real grief already weighing heavily in my life, particularly the loss of my beloved horse Dallas, I just said NO to watching the show rather than subject myself to an hour-long funeral episode. Sometimes protecting our emotional wellbeing means saying no to extra sadness.

This experience prompted deeper reflection on how we consume entertainment and where we draw emotional boundaries. I share the story of my friend who volunteered in animal rescue and refuses to watch any content featuring animals—a perspective I questioned at first. Whether you're navigating grief, managing your mental health, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the world, remember that it's okay to be selective about the emotional content you consume. Have you ever had to step away from a beloved show or book series because it hit too close to home? I'd love to hear your stories. Please follow the Only Child Diaries podcast and share with a friend who might appreciate this conversation about entertainment, boundaries, and the courage to protect your peace.

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Episode Transcript

Tracy (00:00):
Oh, I'm just a ray of sunshine.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life, that youdidn't get enough guidance about
major life issues?
So did I.
You don't have to be an onlychild to feel this way.

(00:23):
In my podcast, we'll exploresome of the best ways to better
navigate adulting, while doingso with humor and light.
Welcome everyone to the OnlyChild Diaries podcast.

(00:45):
Today, I'm going to talk about,well, protecting yourself.
Protecting yourself with grief.
Yes, it's another episode aboutgrief, but it's also about a TV
show.
Let me explain TV show.
Let me explain Well, sincebefore I had my double partial

(01:10):
knee replacement surgery, thatwas just over two years ago I
found the TV show 9-1-1.

(01:30):
And this is the one with AngelaBassett and Peter Krause and
several other actors in anensemble cast right, and it's
the story of the 118 firedepartment and all the things
that they go through.
And when I was convalescingwith my surgery, before and
after, I binge watched it and Ireally, for some reason, I found
it.
I don't remember how I found it.
I binge watched it and I really, for some reason, I found it.
I don't remember how I found it, but I found it and I really
enjoyed watching it Becauseobviously I was sitting around a

(01:54):
lot right.
So then I was watching it oneday and my husband got into it.
So since then we've been bigfans, because they have
interesting stories, they alwayshave interesting storylines

(02:14):
that they come up with differentscenarios that the 118 go into
and have to deal with rescueoperations, right, Creative
emergencies.
I was a big fan of the old showEmergency with Randolph
Mantooth and Kevin Tye and Iloved all the things that they

(02:36):
had to do.
For some reason that kind ofstuff just appeals to me.
So we've been watching, andevery week now we've been
looking forward to what wouldhappen with all the gang, right,
and we've been watching, andevery week now we've been
looking forward to what wouldhappen with all the gang.
And we've enjoyed the writing,We've enjoyed the acting, We've
enjoyed getting to know thecharacters.
We like to watch thecamaraderie.

(03:02):
My husband had a clue, becausehe's always looking at his phone
when he's not doing somethingelse, which is, he's always
looking at his phone, and he hadseen an article about what was
going to happen in thisparticular episode what two
weeks ago, and so we werewatching it.
I was completely blindsided.

(03:23):
I didn't realize that this wasgoing to happen.
I didn't have any spoilers andhere's a spoiler alert in case
you haven't seen it, so you canstop listening now.
Pause, turn it off, whateveryou have to do, Are you ready?
But one of the main characters,the captain, died, and I was

(03:44):
like, wait, what Is this?
Like a who Shot JR thing orsomething, or you know, was this
all a dream that he died?
Because how could they kill offBobby?
How could they do that Bobby?
How could they do that?
I mean, he, what?

(04:05):
I mean, I don't get it.
And so we were both crying andI was, I was mad.
So I, you know there's articlesonline and I read some.
My husband sent me others and Iread about how and totally

(04:26):
understandable, I read about howthe showrunner whoever the heck
is decided that because in afire department, in the line of
you know the first responders,that sometimes firefighters die,
and he wanted to be true tothat, and so he decided to kill

(04:49):
off the captain.
Character of the captain.
I totally understand that, butthe more I thought about it, the
more mad I got, because I getit that it's honoring the true
nature of working in a firedepartment.
But I'm also watching a TV show, and I'm watching a TV show for

(05:10):
entertainment purposes.
And I'm watching a TV show forentertainment purposes and
escapism right, I'm not watchinga TV show for entertainment
purposes so that I can bereminded of real life, that I
can be reminded that people diein the line of duty and that
people grieve and all that stuff, because there's already enough

(05:32):
grief, right?
So the week went by and then itwas time to watch the new
episode and there were previewsof oh, next week is the funeral
and next week everyone saysgoodbye to Bobby, and I'm like
no, no.
So my husband said oh, is therea new episode?
Do you want to watch 9-1-1.

(05:52):
And I said look, here's thething.
I've suffered loss, We'vesuffered loss and I'm dealing
with that, and I don't need toset myself up for an hour's
worth of crying about somebodythat I've loved as a character,

(06:17):
but I don't need to set myselfup to cry again about something
else that I was enjoying asentertainment.
I'm mad.
I'm mad at the show, I'm mad atthe decision that they made and
, looking at social media, a lotof people are feeling the same

(06:37):
way and I don't think I'll everwatch the show again, or maybe
I'll just wait until we're downthe road and Bobby is a distant
memory in the show's storyline.
But I just I can't imagine,because you know they did have,

(07:00):
they did have fill-in captainsthat didn't really work out,
that just caused more grief.
That wasn't.
It wasn't like a camaraderieexperience, it was like a
adversarial relationship and Ithink they I don't know, I just
think they ruined it.
So there's that.

(07:21):
And then, for whatever reason,on the weekend I don't think
that the two things are relatedhaving very strong feelings

(07:45):
again about the loss of my horse, and Saturday I've tried to
push it down, I've tried toforget about it, I've tried to
distract myself.
Countless times I've tried todistract myself.
Think about other things.
You can only think about onething at a time.
When it comes up, I distractmyself, whether it's with a
podcast, a TV show, eating, it'sdoing something, whatever.

(08:09):
I try to distract myself.
But I was outside in the yard, Iwas working with the plants and
I realized that I couldn't stopthinking about him and I was
reliving the end of his lifeagain, which wasn't a very good
experience If you've beenthrough the loss of an animal

(08:33):
directly.
You know that's not a goodthing.
Loss of an animal directly, no,that's not a good thing.
And I just tried to think, okay, well, I've got to.
You know, I can't keep pushingit down.
So I, you know, I had my littlemeltdown outside while I was
pulling the dead blooms off theazalea bushes and it was raining

(08:56):
, it was starting to sprinkle onme and yeah, I did that.
And then yesterday I just, Ijust had a total meltdown for
whatever reason, but I did havea total meltdown and I really, I
really cried.
I'm trying to work through that.

(09:18):
I don't know that I'll ever beover it.
I just I don't think I will.
But my little dog, Brownie, wastrying to hug me and sidle up
to me and she was very concerned.
Animals know, animals are sointuitive and of course, when
I'm ugly crying, she knows thatsomething's wrong.

(09:41):
So, you know, trying to workthrough it.
But yeah, it wasn't a good day,it wasn't a good and it just, to
me, reinforces my decision notto sign up for extra grief and

(10:03):
extra sadness.
I mean, do you sit around andgo?
Oh, I'm going to watch OldYeller now because I want to see
that dog die at the end.
Or I mean, do you sign up forthings that you know are sad?
Sometimes you should, sure, butdo you need to make yourself

(10:25):
miserable on purpose?
Sometimes you should, sure, butdo you need to make yourself
miserable on purpose?
No, I had a friend who workedin animal.
She volunteered, rather, shevolunteered in animal rescue and
she was one of the most stoicpeople that I'd met in a while,

(10:49):
but she still had a heart.
And she told me once that she,you know.
I was like, oh, you shouldwatch this movie.
And she said no.
And I said what she said no, Inever watch anything that has
animals in it.
And I said why not?
She goes because.
And I said why not?
She goes because, you know, incase there's something that goes
wrong, I don't want to see it.

(11:15):
And I was like, wow, that's,wow, I mean that's.
You're really cutting yourselfoff from a lot of good stuff.
I mean, I get it, Believe me, Iget it.
I don't want to be, you know,surprised like something like
Old Yeller.
But there's 101 Dalmatians.
I mean, yeah, you have kind ofa touchy point there, but none

(11:42):
of the puppies actually die.
So you're really kind of X-ingout a lot of the entertainment
that you could see.
There are good things, happythings, right, but I get it.
I get it.
Nobody wants to reallyexperience sadness that they
don't have to.
Certainly so on that happy note, folks, I'm just a ray of

(12:09):
sunshine On that happy note.
That's all I've got for today.
Next week we will tackleanother topic together.
I hope you'll join me.
If you like this episode,please follow the Only Child
Diaries podcast on ApplePodcasts or other platforms you

(12:31):
might listen on and considerrating Only Child Diaries and
writing a review.
It helps others to find us.
Please share it with a friendyou think might like it as well.
Visit my Instagram page OnlyChildaries or facebook only
child diaries podcast.
Thanks for listening.

(12:52):
I'm tracy wallace and these arethe only child diaries.