February 4, 2025 • 20 mins
Recently I questioned if my self-analysis was correct. Was my insight meter in good shape? I've always thought my instincts, my insights were good. But a recent experience made me question that, and if I did all I could. This week I'm discussing that very topic, and also not having regrets. No matter what you do, it's important to do what you need to do so that you don't have lingering regrets down the line.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tracy (00:00):
You've offered your talents, you've offered your
heart, and if those thingsaren't accepted, then you
shouldn't have any regrets.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life, that youdidn't get enough guidance about
(00:23):
major life issues?
So did I.
You don't have to be an onlychild to feel this way.
In my podcast, we'll exploresome of the best ways to better
navigate adulting, while doingso with humor and light.
Welcome everyone to the OnlyChild Diaries podcast.
(00:52):
Today, I'm going to talk aboutinsight, having insight, getting
insight, stuff like that.
Do you have insight intosituations around you?
Do you want to have moreinsight?
Is it something that you eventhink about?
(01:13):
In general, I would say that Ifeel like I have pretty good
insight into situations that I'minvolved with, people that I'm
involved with, but recently arelationship, shall I say, with
(01:38):
a group of people ended and, onreflecting back on it over the
last year, I realized that Ifelt like I didn't have insight
or as much insight as I shouldhave had, and I learned a lot in
the process.
Let me explain.
(02:02):
If you're a regular listener,you might have heard the episode
where I talked about a jobinterview process, really,
because it wasn't just oneinterview.
I had interviewed for this onejob for about two months and
subsequently I was turned downfor the job.
And subsequently I was turneddown for the job.
(02:24):
I was one of three candidatesand I felt as confident as I
could possibly have felt that Iwas going to get the job.
And when I didn't get it I waspretty sad.
I felt like it was the wrongdecision.
(02:51):
But then, about three monthslater, after the passing of our
horse, dallas, I heard back fromthe main woman that I had been
dealing with, who shared with methat the candidate that they
had hired had left.
And was I still interested Now?
(03:12):
Initially I was a littlehesitant because I wanted to
know why this person had left.
Right, what was wrong?
And I asked that question and Iwas told that, given this job
was part-time, he had wanted to.
(03:34):
Well, he realized that heneeded a full-time job to
support himself and his family,which at the time I accepted
that answer.
But looking back on it later, Iquestioned it because he knew
going in that it was part-timeand there's no way that he could
(03:57):
have supported a family on thatone job right.
Maybe he had other part-timejobs or another part-time job
and maybe something happenedwith that.
So I guess I didn't give it toomuch thought right away.
I started the job and thingswere going along pretty well,
(04:20):
but then I started to realizethat, yes, but then I started to
realize that, yes, there weresome issues with the job I was
working remotely in.
Another state of working inoffices is that you can still
(04:44):
have conflicts right, workingremotely, you can still have
personality issues even I mean,not that that was what it was
necessarily but you can stillhave disagreements over job
responsibilities and job dutiesand how things are done.
(05:04):
Well, I came into this job withliterally three decades of
experience in fundraising.
My advice and my thoughts andideas weren't always taken
seriously, and that was a littletroubling, because the people
(05:29):
that I was dealing withinitially especially one person
who was my boss didn't haveanywhere close to the experience
that I had.
Okay, but fine, that's fine.
Part of my job as a fundraiseris to explain and educate on how
(05:55):
things work in fundraising,because it's not always
necessarily an intuitive process.
An intuitive process, it's justnot.
People feel uneasy about asking, especially for money, but just
(06:16):
asking for things in general.
I get it.
I mean, come on, what are thetop three fears in life?
Public speaking, death andasking for money.
So it's right up there, anyway,okay.
So time went on and you knowit's only part-time anyway,
right.
Time went on and then in thesummer there was really a
(06:39):
catastrophic event and a lot ofthings changed within the
organization in a very shorttime and almost everyone
resigned in that short period oftime.
Now I well, looking back on it,I should have resigned as well,
(07:03):
I think, but I decided to staymostly because I thought I could
be helpful.
I didn't have a lot of historywith the organization, but I had
some history and I thought thatthat could be useful to the
people that came in after me.
(07:23):
Nobody really had that historyor that information that I had,
and after going through theperiod of time in my last job
where my boss died suddenly, Irealized that there would be a
lot of questions and it wasgoing to be a rocky period.
(07:45):
I thought I could stay and helpin some way.
I think that I did.
But at the same time thingswere going to change and change
is okay.
I'm okay with change.
Sometimes things have to changeto survive.
(08:08):
Things have to change topersevere.
That's very true.
Not everybody's comfortablewith change and of course it
depends on the type of change.
Shall we say I've learned a lot,or I've learned some, about the
(08:41):
first period of time that Iworked there, about some of the
backstory, and I realized that,well, I guess there was no way
that I could have known some ofthe history, but I could have
asked more questions andpossibly I could have read
(09:06):
between the lines better.
Maybe if I had asked morequestions up front and really
drilled down into the answers, Iwould have known that there
were some fairly large issuesthat might have caused some
problems down the road and maybethe job that I thought was so
(09:33):
good really wasn't Now.
I've been doing a lot ofthinking about this recently
because my time with thisorganization has now come to an
end.
It's really a mutual decision.
I've gone on with otheropportunities that are taking a
(09:56):
lot of my time and with thisposition that I just left, they
just don't have the resources topay me for the work that needs
to be done to fundraise to keepthe agency going, and that's
(10:18):
okay.
I'm okay with that.
It's really a better situationfor everybody.
But, like I said, I've beenthinking a lot about this and I
question myself was I beingnaive?
I mean, was that even apossibility?
(10:42):
I've lived a lot of years onthis earth and I don't think I'm
that naive anymore.
I'm not jaded either.
I think I'm realistic aboutthings and I do try to see and
read between the lines.
But I feel like I missed somethings.
(11:10):
I think it's important sometimesto dig a little deeper, people
(11:39):
and really stretching past wheremost people would, to really
understand and dig deep into thesituation, right To understand,
and that takes a lot of energy,takes a lot of energy.
I mean a lot, let's face it,and sometimes you're rewarded
for that and sometimes you'renot.
Sometimes you're just spinningyour wheels.
I mean there comes a time whenyou have to realize that maybe
(12:03):
your good ideas aren't going tobe listened to, maybe your good
ideas are falling on, as mymother would have said, deaf
ears, maybe the people involvedaren't ready to listen to you,
maybe the people involved feellike they have the answers
(12:26):
already and the answer's forthem and you know what.
That's okay.
That's okay.
That's okay.
I don't always have to be theone with the right answer and I
don't have to always be the oneto solve the problem.
I get that Especially as I'vegotten older.
(12:47):
I mean, when I was younger, Iwas more, shall we say, on fire.
Right In my 30s I didn't reallyknow what I was doing.
I mean, I look back on it nowyeah, I knew more than I did in
my 20s.
Sure, in my 40s I reallystarted to come into my own, I
(13:11):
really understood a lot moreabout how things worked and I
understood more about my lifeand I had more confidence.
And my 50s the same.
But now that I'm in my gulp 60s,I feel like, you know, I can
(13:34):
tell somebody something, I canprovide my observations, but if
people don't want to listen tomy advice or my insights my
insights then it's time for meto move on.
Then it's time for me to moveon and it's time for me to use
my energy and thinking power ina more productive way, right?
(14:01):
But yeah, I really have thoughtabout the question of was I
naive in this situation?
Did I put too much trust inthis group of people?
Did I not ask enough questions?
(14:24):
I like to think it was just anunfortunate series of events.
Sometimes, when things happenin this world.
They play out in a way that youcouldn't really have predicted.
But once things start in motion, one thing happens after
(14:46):
another and you get to a placewhere you could never have
guessed that that was going tobe the end result.
Looking back on it, I think Iknow what the pivotal moment was
and what the pivotal decisionwas that really caused a major
(15:15):
breakdown in the organization.
But I'm not really sure and inthe end I guess it doesn't
really matter, because I'vemoved.
Learned in this is well, nomatter how old you are, you
(15:54):
never stop learning from yoursituations.
You never stop learning fromyour experiences, and it's a
good thing to reflect on thingsthat have happened to you.
I try not to reflect too much.
I mean, I'm not going to obsessover this, it's over.
(16:16):
My husband asked me after I hadthe last scheduled Zoom call.
He said well, was itbittersweet?
And I said no, not really.
It's just time to move on.
I do tend to get emotionalabout endings, but that wasn't
(16:38):
the case this time, so I know itwas the right decision.
Am I sad or upset with myselffor staying on after the big
event that happened?
No, I'm not, because I didlearn, and I did have good
(17:01):
intentions.
I wish that I could haveprovided more assistance to the
organization, but that justwasn't the way it worked out, so
I don't have any regrets.
I think that's a reallyimportant thing to mention is
(17:22):
not having regrets, settingyourself up for well in any
situation, whether it bepersonal or professional, with
your family, with your friends,people you don't know work
environments, school, whateverDoing what you need to do so
(17:47):
that you don't have any regretsand I think you know what I'm
talking about.
If you sit and think about itfor a while, you know what you
need to have in your mind tomake sure that you don't have
any regrets going forward Afteryou walk away.
That you've done everythingthat you can do, that you've
(18:11):
communicated everything that youcan communicate, that you've
put yourself out there in a waythat's positive, in a way that
is justifiable, if you will,that you've offered yourself,
you've offered your talents,you've offered your heart, and
(18:36):
if those things aren't accepted,then you shouldn't have any
regrets and you also shouldn'tnecessarily be sad about it.
So there you have it.
That's my dialogue on insightsand no regrets for today, the
(19:01):
beginning of February 2025, herewe are heading towards who
knows what, spring.
Let's think about spring.
I'm ready for spring, I'm readyto get rid of the cold weather.
But, folks, that is all I'vegot for today.
(19:22):
Next week, we'll tackle anothertopic together.
I hope you'll join me platformsyou might listen on and
consider rating Only ChildDiaries and writing a review.
It helps others to find us.
(19:49):
Please share it with a friendyou think might like it as well.
Visit my Instagram page OnlyChild Diaries or Facebook Only
Child Diaries Podcast.
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallaceace and theseare the only child diaries.
You've offered your talents, you've offered your
heart, and if those thingsaren't accepted, then you
shouldn't have any regrets.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life, that youdidn't get enough guidance about
(00:23):
major life issues?
So did I.
You don't have to be an onlychild to feel this way.
In my podcast, we'll exploresome of the best ways to better
navigate adulting, while doingso with humor and light.
Welcome everyone to the OnlyChild Diaries podcast.
(00:52):
Today, I'm going to talk aboutinsight, having insight, getting
insight, stuff like that.
Do you have insight intosituations around you?
Do you want to have moreinsight?
Is it something that you eventhink about?
(01:13):
In general, I would say that Ifeel like I have pretty good
insight into situations that I'minvolved with, people that I'm
involved with, but recently arelationship, shall I say, with
(01:38):
a group of people ended and, onreflecting back on it over the
last year, I realized that Ifelt like I didn't have insight
or as much insight as I shouldhave had, and I learned a lot in
the process.
Let me explain.
(02:02):
If you're a regular listener,you might have heard the episode
where I talked about a jobinterview process, really,
because it wasn't just oneinterview.
I had interviewed for this onejob for about two months and
subsequently I was turned downfor the job.
And subsequently I was turneddown for the job.
(02:24):
I was one of three candidatesand I felt as confident as I
could possibly have felt that Iwas going to get the job.
And when I didn't get it I waspretty sad.
I felt like it was the wrongdecision.
(02:51):
But then, about three monthslater, after the passing of our
horse, dallas, I heard back fromthe main woman that I had been
dealing with, who shared with methat the candidate that they
had hired had left.
And was I still interested Now?
(03:12):
Initially I was a littlehesitant because I wanted to
know why this person had left.
Right, what was wrong?
And I asked that question and Iwas told that, given this job
was part-time, he had wanted to.
(03:34):
Well, he realized that heneeded a full-time job to
support himself and his family,which at the time I accepted
that answer.
But looking back on it later, Iquestioned it because he knew
going in that it was part-timeand there's no way that he could
(03:57):
have supported a family on thatone job right.
Maybe he had other part-timejobs or another part-time job
and maybe something happenedwith that.
So I guess I didn't give it toomuch thought right away.
I started the job and thingswere going along pretty well,
(04:20):
but then I started to realizethat, yes, but then I started to
realize that, yes, there weresome issues with the job I was
working remotely in.
Another state of working inoffices is that you can still
(04:44):
have conflicts right, workingremotely, you can still have
personality issues even I mean,not that that was what it was
necessarily but you can stillhave disagreements over job
responsibilities and job dutiesand how things are done.
(05:04):
Well, I came into this job withliterally three decades of
experience in fundraising.
My advice and my thoughts andideas weren't always taken
seriously, and that was a littletroubling, because the people
(05:29):
that I was dealing withinitially especially one person
who was my boss didn't haveanywhere close to the experience
that I had.
Okay, but fine, that's fine.
Part of my job as a fundraiseris to explain and educate on how
(05:55):
things work in fundraising,because it's not always
necessarily an intuitive process.
An intuitive process, it's justnot.
People feel uneasy about asking, especially for money, but just
(06:16):
asking for things in general.
I get it.
I mean, come on, what are thetop three fears in life?
Public speaking, death andasking for money.
So it's right up there, anyway,okay.
So time went on and you knowit's only part-time anyway,
right.
Time went on and then in thesummer there was really a
(06:39):
catastrophic event and a lot ofthings changed within the
organization in a very shorttime and almost everyone
resigned in that short period oftime.
Now I well, looking back on it,I should have resigned as well,
(07:03):
I think, but I decided to staymostly because I thought I could
be helpful.
I didn't have a lot of historywith the organization, but I had
some history and I thought thatthat could be useful to the
people that came in after me.
(07:23):
Nobody really had that historyor that information that I had,
and after going through theperiod of time in my last job
where my boss died suddenly, Irealized that there would be a
lot of questions and it wasgoing to be a rocky period.
(07:45):
I thought I could stay and helpin some way.
I think that I did.
But at the same time thingswere going to change and change
is okay.
I'm okay with change.
Sometimes things have to changeto survive.
(08:08):
Things have to change topersevere.
That's very true.
Not everybody's comfortablewith change and of course it
depends on the type of change.
Shall we say I've learned a lot,or I've learned some, about the
(08:41):
first period of time that Iworked there, about some of the
backstory, and I realized that,well, I guess there was no way
that I could have known some ofthe history, but I could have
asked more questions andpossibly I could have read
(09:06):
between the lines better.
Maybe if I had asked morequestions up front and really
drilled down into the answers, Iwould have known that there
were some fairly large issuesthat might have caused some
problems down the road and maybethe job that I thought was so
(09:33):
good really wasn't Now.
I've been doing a lot ofthinking about this recently
because my time with thisorganization has now come to an
end.
It's really a mutual decision.
I've gone on with otheropportunities that are taking a
(09:56):
lot of my time and with thisposition that I just left, they
just don't have the resources topay me for the work that needs
to be done to fundraise to keepthe agency going, and that's
(10:18):
okay.
I'm okay with that.
It's really a better situationfor everybody.
But, like I said, I've beenthinking a lot about this and I
question myself was I beingnaive?
I mean, was that even apossibility?
(10:42):
I've lived a lot of years onthis earth and I don't think I'm
that naive anymore.
I'm not jaded either.
I think I'm realistic aboutthings and I do try to see and
read between the lines.
But I feel like I missed somethings.
(11:10):
I think it's important sometimesto dig a little deeper, people
(11:39):
and really stretching past wheremost people would, to really
understand and dig deep into thesituation, right To understand,
and that takes a lot of energy,takes a lot of energy.
I mean a lot, let's face it,and sometimes you're rewarded
for that and sometimes you'renot.
Sometimes you're just spinningyour wheels.
I mean there comes a time whenyou have to realize that maybe
(12:03):
your good ideas aren't going tobe listened to, maybe your good
ideas are falling on, as mymother would have said, deaf
ears, maybe the people involvedaren't ready to listen to you,
maybe the people involved feellike they have the answers
(12:26):
already and the answer's forthem and you know what.
That's okay.
That's okay.
That's okay.
I don't always have to be theone with the right answer and I
don't have to always be the oneto solve the problem.
I get that Especially as I'vegotten older.
(12:47):
I mean, when I was younger, Iwas more, shall we say, on fire.
Right In my 30s I didn't reallyknow what I was doing.
I mean, I look back on it nowyeah, I knew more than I did in
my 20s.
Sure, in my 40s I reallystarted to come into my own, I
(13:11):
really understood a lot moreabout how things worked and I
understood more about my lifeand I had more confidence.
And my 50s the same.
But now that I'm in my gulp 60s,I feel like, you know, I can
(13:34):
tell somebody something, I canprovide my observations, but if
people don't want to listen tomy advice or my insights my
insights then it's time for meto move on.
Then it's time for me to moveon and it's time for me to use
my energy and thinking power ina more productive way, right?
(14:01):
But yeah, I really have thoughtabout the question of was I
naive in this situation?
Did I put too much trust inthis group of people?
Did I not ask enough questions?
(14:24):
I like to think it was just anunfortunate series of events.
Sometimes, when things happenin this world.
They play out in a way that youcouldn't really have predicted.
But once things start in motion, one thing happens after
(14:46):
another and you get to a placewhere you could never have
guessed that that was going tobe the end result.
Looking back on it, I think Iknow what the pivotal moment was
and what the pivotal decisionwas that really caused a major
(15:15):
breakdown in the organization.
But I'm not really sure and inthe end I guess it doesn't
really matter, because I'vemoved.
Learned in this is well, nomatter how old you are, you
(15:54):
never stop learning from yoursituations.
You never stop learning fromyour experiences, and it's a
good thing to reflect on thingsthat have happened to you.
I try not to reflect too much.
I mean, I'm not going to obsessover this, it's over.
(16:16):
My husband asked me after I hadthe last scheduled Zoom call.
He said well, was itbittersweet?
And I said no, not really.
It's just time to move on.
I do tend to get emotionalabout endings, but that wasn't
(16:38):
the case this time, so I know itwas the right decision.
Am I sad or upset with myselffor staying on after the big
event that happened?
No, I'm not, because I didlearn, and I did have good
(17:01):
intentions.
I wish that I could haveprovided more assistance to the
organization, but that justwasn't the way it worked out, so
I don't have any regrets.
I think that's a reallyimportant thing to mention is
(17:22):
not having regrets, settingyourself up for well in any
situation, whether it bepersonal or professional, with
your family, with your friends,people you don't know work
environments, school, whateverDoing what you need to do so
(17:47):
that you don't have any regretsand I think you know what I'm
talking about.
If you sit and think about itfor a while, you know what you
need to have in your mind tomake sure that you don't have
any regrets going forward Afteryou walk away.
That you've done everythingthat you can do, that you've
(18:11):
communicated everything that youcan communicate, that you've
put yourself out there in a waythat's positive, in a way that
is justifiable, if you will,that you've offered yourself,
you've offered your talents,you've offered your heart, and
(18:36):
if those things aren't accepted,then you shouldn't have any
regrets and you also shouldn'tnecessarily be sad about it.
So there you have it.
That's my dialogue on insightsand no regrets for today, the
(19:01):
beginning of February 2025, herewe are heading towards who
knows what, spring.
Let's think about spring.
I'm ready for spring, I'm readyto get rid of the cold weather.
But, folks, that is all I'vegot for today.
(19:22):
Next week, we'll tackle anothertopic together.
I hope you'll join me platformsyou might listen on and
consider rating Only ChildDiaries and writing a review.
It helps others to find us.
(19:49):
Please share it with a friendyou think might like it as well.
Visit my Instagram page OnlyChild Diaries or Facebook Only
Child Diaries Podcast.
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallaceace and theseare the only child diaries.
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