June 10, 2025 • 17 mins
Taking care of yourself is vital to both physical and mental health, yet it's often neglected during busy periods. After working 50-hour weeks for a major fundraising event, I share my experience with post-event exhaustion and the importance of intentional recovery.
• The challenges of being an overachiever/perfectionist when planning events
• How intense work periods cause basic self-care and household tasks to be neglected
• The necessity of rest and recovery after high-energy projects
• Learning from my former boss who worked herself to death (really)
• Why we need to "adult ourselves" by setting boundaries around work
• The special importance of self-care for only children and single people
• The reality that no one reaches the end of life wishing they had worked more
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tracy (00:05):
I said one day, you're not going to get to the end of
your life and think to yourselfI didn't work enough right?
And she looked at me like shethought I was crazy.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
(00:27):
brochure on life?
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life, that youdidn't get enough guidance about
major life issues?
So did I.
You don't have to be an onlychild to feel this way.
In my podcast, we'll exploresome of the best ways to better
(00:47):
navigate adulting, while doingso with humor and light.
Welcome everyone to the OnlyChild Diaries podcast.
Today, I'm going to talk to youabout taking care of yourself.
Now, this is something that usonly children really have to
(01:14):
think about, especially if wewere quote unquote poorly
parented.
Unquote.
Taking care of yourself isreally key, right, it's really
important.
It's really vital to our health, our physical health, our
mental health, but sometimes itgets away from us, right.
(01:39):
Taking care of yourselfimportant concept in many ways.
There's many ways to take careof yourself.
Now, I'm reminded of thisbecause if you've been listening
recently, you know that I'vebeen talking about my big work
project, the big special event,the big dinner that I've been
(02:04):
working on.
That took place at the end ofMay and it was a lot of work.
If you've ever done an event forany reason whether it's work or
not you know that working on anevent is a lot of work.
And well for me, because Iconsider my well, let's just put
(02:32):
it this way I do considermyself a perfectionist, or you
could call it being anoverachiever.
Either way, I think there'snegative connotations to both
terms, but I think of myselfmore as an overachiever because
I think that's more of a modernterm.
(02:54):
People used to call it aperfectionist, but either way
you look at it, you coulddescribe me adequately as either
one of those terms.
Anyway, I tell people, any jobworth doing is a job worth doing
(03:15):
well.
So I don't do things half-assright fast.
An event is just a lot of work.
I like to put a lot of myselfinto the events.
I like to do a lot of thedetails.
(03:36):
The organization that I work foris not necessarily flush with
extra staff to rely on, butgranted, I mean we didn't raise
hundreds of thousands of dollarsFrom the standpoint of the
event and the history of eventswith this organization and you
(03:58):
know, so it's relatively there'snot an established history of
events with this organization,even though they have a long
history.
They're not a new organizationbut in terms of events, they
don't have a long establishedhistory of events, and that
(04:20):
makes a difference when you'refundraising.
I mean it just does, because ittakes a while for the base of
donors, the base of sponsors, tobecome established and to grow.
And so that's really what Istarted working on this year,
this month, june the end of Juneactually it's June 24th is
(04:42):
going to be my one yearanniversary with the position,
and I wasn't hired to do events.
I was hired to do grant writing.
But because of my experienceright, because of my history
with events and fundraisingevents specifically I was asked
(05:05):
to take this project on.
So that's where we are.
Okay.
So the last couple of weeks, thelast month or so, I worked a
lot and this job is an hourlyjob, it's not a salaried
position.
So I was looking at mytimesheet and the last two weeks
(05:30):
leading up to the event I putin 50 hours, basically 50 hours
each week, which is a lot.
It's a lot, okay.
Um, I wasn't able to really doanything besides work.
I was able to order us food.
(05:52):
We did eat every day.
The pets ate every day.
I was able to gather pet foodfor the dog and the cat.
Most of the plants on ourproperty are still alive.
There were a few casualties.
I was able to get gas in the car, but things happened during the
(06:19):
last two to three weeks.
The washing machine broke.
I still haven't gotten thatfixed because the house is an
absolute disaster.
I have to take my car in tohave the tires rotated and
probably get an oil change, andthe service light's been on for,
I think, probably close to sixweeks, close to six weeks.
(06:49):
I take very good care of my carand I've never let it go that
long, but I just don't have thetime, haven't had the time.
So I took Thursday and Fridayoff last week and I did get my
husband to the ear doctorbecause he finally complained
that he couldn't hear anything,which to me wasn't a surprise
because I kept having to yell athim, but I know not to say
(07:12):
anything like do you need to goto the ear doctor and get the
wax cleaned out of your earsBecause he'll get mad.
So I just waited until hefinally complained.
And anyway, we went, found agreat new doctor doctor's office
to do that.
I got the dog to the vet to gether nails trimmed.
(07:37):
And what else did I do?
Oh, picked up, and I picked upsome prescriptions that had been
lingering for a while, got gasin the car.
We went to one of our favoriterestaurants on Saturday, which
was fun and I rested.
(07:59):
Here's the thing about takingcare of yourself and what I've
learned over the years withevents.
Now, my last job I did the galadinner.
I took care of the.
You know, I planned and led thegala dinner for 23, 24 years, I
(08:19):
don't remember and this was adinner where we raised, you know
, three, four, $500,000, right,we had maybe 300 people, maybe
400 people come big.
I mean, it's a sizable event,right.
And I remember afterwards Iwould just be dead tired.
(08:45):
And this is starting like 25years ago, right, when I was a
lot younger.
Yes, I'll say it, I was a lotyounger.
And so afterwards I you know, Istill have the adrenaline going
, but I would just need to.
(09:05):
I learned, I would just need tostop, I would need to tell
myself to stop and I would needto give into it and I would need
to rest, I would need to sleep,I would need to just slow
myself down.
And that was the hardest part,because working on events, you
(09:30):
get really caught up in theenergy of it.
I love the energy, I love thepace, I love the excitement of
it, but it really wears you outand afterwards you really need
to slow yourself down and youneed to rest, because I remember
(09:50):
there were many years that Ididn't rest and I would be super
grumpy and I would be justreally out of sorts with
everyone.
And it was funny because myformer boss never rested.
She was so dedicated to her job.
Now, remember, she died.
(10:12):
She died of a heart attack andI think it's because she worked
herself to death, but I can'tprove that.
But she never rested and so, ofcourse, she didn't work as hard
as I did on the event either.
She did, she did help out, shedid do things, but she, she
(10:35):
would never take time off.
And afterwards she, she neverunderstood why I needed a day or
two off.
I needed to rest, I needed to,you needed to sleep so that I
wouldn't be grumpy and I wouldbe like, come on, give me a
break.
So this time was no different.
I was really caught up in theenergy of it all and I really
(10:59):
realized that I really do enjoyit.
But there's that drop offafterwards.
There's that you know, theadrenaline push and then, and
then the event, and then it'sover, and then you don't have
that.
Well, you couldn't run yourbody like that forever, right,
(11:20):
but the event is over and youdon't have that frenetic pace
anymore.
And then it's like what do I donow, right?
Well, so I've spent a lot oftime sleeping.
I've spent a lot of time, justyou know, binge watching shows
(11:41):
on Netflix or whatever.
I've tried.
I've tried to be out in thegarden and work in my yard and
revisit, pulling weeds or doingthings being out in nature, feel
the air again, because I satwith my laptop so much.
(12:02):
I sat with my laptop so much.
I sat with my laptop a lot it'smy best friend and sent a lot
of emails.
What I keep having to remindmyself is that I need to stop
and I need to rest and I need totake care of myself.
(12:26):
And this is a hard lessonsometimes, right, because nobody
.
You know I'm 60, I'll say it,I'm 63.
And no one's going to tell meto rest.
I mean, maybe my husband will,but nobody's going to say okay,
tracy, this is the time when yourest, this is the time when you
(12:50):
sleep.
You look exhausted, but it'simportant, it's the work-life
balance, and the time to work 50hours a week is gone, it's over
with for now and it's time togo back to my 30 hours a week.
(13:12):
So that's something I reallymissed doing things around the
house and taking care of myhouse and just spending time
with my dog or spending timewith my cat, or spending time
out in the front yard.
(13:33):
Or I'm already thinking about,dare I say it, I'm already
thinking about my Halloweendecorations, and there's a lot
of stuff that I still want to doaround the house and I want to
clean up all the mess that I'vemade in the last month or two.
So, anyway, taking care ofyourself is something that you
(13:59):
know.
Sometimes you have to be, youhave to adult yourself, you have
to be adulting and you have totell yourself what you need to
do and sometimes you need tojust be the responsible party
for yourself.
Very important, very importantplan there.
(14:23):
So that's my message to you isremember to take care of
yourself.
I watch people all the time thatI don't think they're taking
care of themselves.
I think they're working toomuch.
I don't think they're takingcare of themselves.
I think they're working toomuch.
(14:43):
I always thought that about mylast boss, and look what
happened to her.
But the thing is that you can'talways tell people right,
people aren't always going tolisten to you.
I remember I told Ruth was hername.
I told Ruth.
I said one day you're not goingto get to the end of your life
(15:04):
and think to yourself I didn'twork enough, right?
And she looked at me like shethought I was crazy.
Was I crazy?
No, was I off the mark?
No, she worked too much.
I mean, I guess she enjoyed it.
(15:24):
That was her choice, right.
But I feel bad that maybe shecould have enjoyed things a
little bit more and worked alittle bit less or a lot less.
You know, life is short.
So ultimately, it's really upto each of us to take care of
(15:53):
ourselves and not just to sleep,not just to rest, but to eat
right, to eat the right foods,to drink enough water, to drink
enough fluids, to eat the rightthings, not the wrong things.
Right, it's up to us to takecare of ourselves, and
(16:13):
especially for only children,especially for single people,
it's so important because we'rethe ones that need to take care
of ourselves.
That's my message for you allthat are listening, and now I'm
going to go out in the yard andwater something to make sure I
don't lose any more plants.
(16:34):
But next week we're going totackle another topic together.
I hope you'll join me.
If you like this episode, pleasefollow the Only Child Diaries
podcast on Apple Podcasts orother platforms you might listen
on and consider rating OnlyChild Diaries and writing a
(16:56):
review.
It helps others to find us.
Please share it with a friendyou think might like it as well.
Visit my Instagram page OnlyChild Diaries or Facebook Only
Child Diaries Podcast.
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallace and these arethe Only Child Diaries.
(17:16):
Thanks for watching.
I said one day, you're not going to get to the end of
your life and think to yourselfI didn't work enough right?
And she looked at me like shethought I was crazy.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
(00:27):
brochure on life?
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life, that youdidn't get enough guidance about
major life issues?
So did I.
You don't have to be an onlychild to feel this way.
In my podcast, we'll exploresome of the best ways to better
(00:47):
navigate adulting, while doingso with humor and light.
Welcome everyone to the OnlyChild Diaries podcast.
Today, I'm going to talk to youabout taking care of yourself.
Now, this is something that usonly children really have to
(01:14):
think about, especially if wewere quote unquote poorly
parented.
Unquote.
Taking care of yourself isreally key, right, it's really
important.
It's really vital to our health, our physical health, our
mental health, but sometimes itgets away from us, right.
(01:39):
Taking care of yourselfimportant concept in many ways.
There's many ways to take careof yourself.
Now, I'm reminded of thisbecause if you've been listening
recently, you know that I'vebeen talking about my big work
project, the big special event,the big dinner that I've been
(02:04):
working on.
That took place at the end ofMay and it was a lot of work.
If you've ever done an event forany reason whether it's work or
not you know that working on anevent is a lot of work.
And well for me, because Iconsider my well, let's just put
(02:32):
it this way I do considermyself a perfectionist, or you
could call it being anoverachiever.
Either way, I think there'snegative connotations to both
terms, but I think of myselfmore as an overachiever because
I think that's more of a modernterm.
(02:54):
People used to call it aperfectionist, but either way
you look at it, you coulddescribe me adequately as either
one of those terms.
Anyway, I tell people, any jobworth doing is a job worth doing
(03:15):
well.
So I don't do things half-assright fast.
An event is just a lot of work.
I like to put a lot of myselfinto the events.
I like to do a lot of thedetails.
(03:36):
The organization that I work foris not necessarily flush with
extra staff to rely on, butgranted, I mean we didn't raise
hundreds of thousands of dollarsFrom the standpoint of the
event and the history of eventswith this organization and you
(03:58):
know, so it's relatively there'snot an established history of
events with this organization,even though they have a long
history.
They're not a new organizationbut in terms of events, they
don't have a long establishedhistory of events, and that
(04:20):
makes a difference when you'refundraising.
I mean it just does, because ittakes a while for the base of
donors, the base of sponsors, tobecome established and to grow.
And so that's really what Istarted working on this year,
this month, june the end of Juneactually it's June 24th is
(04:42):
going to be my one yearanniversary with the position,
and I wasn't hired to do events.
I was hired to do grant writing.
But because of my experienceright, because of my history
with events and fundraisingevents specifically I was asked
(05:05):
to take this project on.
So that's where we are.
Okay.
So the last couple of weeks, thelast month or so, I worked a
lot and this job is an hourlyjob, it's not a salaried
position.
So I was looking at mytimesheet and the last two weeks
(05:30):
leading up to the event I putin 50 hours, basically 50 hours
each week, which is a lot.
It's a lot, okay.
Um, I wasn't able to really doanything besides work.
I was able to order us food.
(05:52):
We did eat every day.
The pets ate every day.
I was able to gather pet foodfor the dog and the cat.
Most of the plants on ourproperty are still alive.
There were a few casualties.
I was able to get gas in the car, but things happened during the
(06:19):
last two to three weeks.
The washing machine broke.
I still haven't gotten thatfixed because the house is an
absolute disaster.
I have to take my car in tohave the tires rotated and
probably get an oil change, andthe service light's been on for,
I think, probably close to sixweeks, close to six weeks.
(06:49):
I take very good care of my carand I've never let it go that
long, but I just don't have thetime, haven't had the time.
So I took Thursday and Fridayoff last week and I did get my
husband to the ear doctorbecause he finally complained
that he couldn't hear anything,which to me wasn't a surprise
because I kept having to yell athim, but I know not to say
(07:12):
anything like do you need to goto the ear doctor and get the
wax cleaned out of your earsBecause he'll get mad.
So I just waited until hefinally complained.
And anyway, we went, found agreat new doctor doctor's office
to do that.
I got the dog to the vet to gether nails trimmed.
(07:37):
And what else did I do?
Oh, picked up, and I picked upsome prescriptions that had been
lingering for a while, got gasin the car.
We went to one of our favoriterestaurants on Saturday, which
was fun and I rested.
(07:59):
Here's the thing about takingcare of yourself and what I've
learned over the years withevents.
Now, my last job I did the galadinner.
I took care of the.
You know, I planned and led thegala dinner for 23, 24 years, I
(08:19):
don't remember and this was adinner where we raised, you know
, three, four, $500,000, right,we had maybe 300 people, maybe
400 people come big.
I mean, it's a sizable event,right.
And I remember afterwards Iwould just be dead tired.
(08:45):
And this is starting like 25years ago, right, when I was a
lot younger.
Yes, I'll say it, I was a lotyounger.
And so afterwards I you know, Istill have the adrenaline going
, but I would just need to.
(09:05):
I learned, I would just need tostop, I would need to tell
myself to stop and I would needto give into it and I would need
to rest, I would need to sleep,I would need to just slow
myself down.
And that was the hardest part,because working on events, you
(09:30):
get really caught up in theenergy of it.
I love the energy, I love thepace, I love the excitement of
it, but it really wears you outand afterwards you really need
to slow yourself down and youneed to rest, because I remember
(09:50):
there were many years that Ididn't rest and I would be super
grumpy and I would be justreally out of sorts with
everyone.
And it was funny because myformer boss never rested.
She was so dedicated to her job.
Now, remember, she died.
(10:12):
She died of a heart attack andI think it's because she worked
herself to death, but I can'tprove that.
But she never rested and so, ofcourse, she didn't work as hard
as I did on the event either.
She did, she did help out, shedid do things, but she, she
(10:35):
would never take time off.
And afterwards she, she neverunderstood why I needed a day or
two off.
I needed to rest, I needed to,you needed to sleep so that I
wouldn't be grumpy and I wouldbe like, come on, give me a
break.
So this time was no different.
I was really caught up in theenergy of it all and I really
(10:59):
realized that I really do enjoyit.
But there's that drop offafterwards.
There's that you know, theadrenaline push and then, and
then the event, and then it'sover, and then you don't have
that.
Well, you couldn't run yourbody like that forever, right,
(11:20):
but the event is over and youdon't have that frenetic pace
anymore.
And then it's like what do I donow, right?
Well, so I've spent a lot oftime sleeping.
I've spent a lot of time, justyou know, binge watching shows
(11:41):
on Netflix or whatever.
I've tried.
I've tried to be out in thegarden and work in my yard and
revisit, pulling weeds or doingthings being out in nature, feel
the air again, because I satwith my laptop so much.
(12:02):
I sat with my laptop so much.
I sat with my laptop a lot it'smy best friend and sent a lot
of emails.
What I keep having to remindmyself is that I need to stop
and I need to rest and I need totake care of myself.
(12:26):
And this is a hard lessonsometimes, right, because nobody
.
You know I'm 60, I'll say it,I'm 63.
And no one's going to tell meto rest.
I mean, maybe my husband will,but nobody's going to say okay,
tracy, this is the time when yourest, this is the time when you
(12:50):
sleep.
You look exhausted, but it'simportant, it's the work-life
balance, and the time to work 50hours a week is gone, it's over
with for now and it's time togo back to my 30 hours a week.
(13:12):
So that's something I reallymissed doing things around the
house and taking care of myhouse and just spending time
with my dog or spending timewith my cat, or spending time
out in the front yard.
(13:33):
Or I'm already thinking about,dare I say it, I'm already
thinking about my Halloweendecorations, and there's a lot
of stuff that I still want to doaround the house and I want to
clean up all the mess that I'vemade in the last month or two.
So, anyway, taking care ofyourself is something that you
(13:59):
know.
Sometimes you have to be, youhave to adult yourself, you have
to be adulting and you have totell yourself what you need to
do and sometimes you need tojust be the responsible party
for yourself.
Very important, very importantplan there.
(14:23):
So that's my message to you isremember to take care of
yourself.
I watch people all the time thatI don't think they're taking
care of themselves.
I think they're working toomuch.
I don't think they're takingcare of themselves.
I think they're working toomuch.
(14:43):
I always thought that about mylast boss, and look what
happened to her.
But the thing is that you can'talways tell people right,
people aren't always going tolisten to you.
I remember I told Ruth was hername.
I told Ruth.
I said one day you're not goingto get to the end of your life
(15:04):
and think to yourself I didn'twork enough, right?
And she looked at me like shethought I was crazy.
Was I crazy?
No, was I off the mark?
No, she worked too much.
I mean, I guess she enjoyed it.
(15:24):
That was her choice, right.
But I feel bad that maybe shecould have enjoyed things a
little bit more and worked alittle bit less or a lot less.
You know, life is short.
So ultimately, it's really upto each of us to take care of
(15:53):
ourselves and not just to sleep,not just to rest, but to eat
right, to eat the right foods,to drink enough water, to drink
enough fluids, to eat the rightthings, not the wrong things.
Right, it's up to us to takecare of ourselves, and
(16:13):
especially for only children,especially for single people,
it's so important because we'rethe ones that need to take care
of ourselves.
That's my message for you allthat are listening, and now I'm
going to go out in the yard andwater something to make sure I
don't lose any more plants.
(16:34):
But next week we're going totackle another topic together.
I hope you'll join me.
If you like this episode, pleasefollow the Only Child Diaries
podcast on Apple Podcasts orother platforms you might listen
on and consider rating OnlyChild Diaries and writing a
(16:56):
review.
It helps others to find us.
Please share it with a friendyou think might like it as well.
Visit my Instagram page OnlyChild Diaries or Facebook Only
Child Diaries Podcast.
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallace and these arethe Only Child Diaries.
(17:16):
Thanks for watching.
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