September 9, 2025 • 51 mins
The choice to drive drunk can destroy lives in an instant. On September 7, 2017, my husband Bill and I were enjoying a vacation in Las Vegas when a drunk driver slammed into our rental car at approximately 80 miles per hour. The impact was so violent that I genuinely believed I wouldn't survive. Our world transformed in that moment—from carefree vacation to a 20-month nightmare of physical recovery, emotional trauma, and an exhausting fight for justice.
This is my annual re-release of my story about the crash and subsequent events, including the dramatic courtroom scene.
What makes this story particularly devastating is what we discovered months later. The driver who hit us had a blood alcohol level of 0.25%, more than three times the legal limit. Even more shocking, just two months after our crash, she received another DUI—this time with her baby in the car and a blood alcohol level of 0.49%, just below what medical professionals consider potentially fatal. These weren't mistakes; they were catastrophic choices that endangered countless lives.
The aftermath tested us in ways we never imagined. Bill required a second neck fusion surgery when we discovered the crash had shifted a vertebra that was "literally hanging by a thread." Had it given way, he would have been paralyzed. Meanwhile, I developed PTSD symptoms while driving—panic attacks triggered by screeching brakes or tailgating vehicles. The legal system offered little comfort, requiring relentless advocacy just to be heard. When we finally reached the sentencing hearing after nearly two years, both Bill and I delivered emotional victim impact statements before the driver received a 12-48 month sentence.
Every year since that day, I've shared our story publicly because I believe it matters. With over 12,000 people dying from alcohol-impaired driving crashes in the US in 2023 alone, these aren't just statistics—they represent real lives forever altered or ended. If retelling our experience prevents even one person from making the deadly choice to drive impaired, then reliving this trauma is worth it. Remember our story the next time you're faced with the decision to drive after drinking. Every day truly is a gift, especially when you've come so close to losing everything.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tracy (00:02):
September 7th 2017 is a day that I just will never
forget.
It's the day my husband and Iwe were on vacation in Las Vegas
were rear-ended by a drunkdriver.
Every year since I started theOnly Child Diaries podcast, I've
(00:24):
talked about this crash withyou, and this year I'm
re-releasing the episode again.
To me, drunk driving issomething that should never
happen, and what I've seen isthat drunk driving can
drastically change lives.
(00:44):
What I've seen is that drunkdriving can drastically change
lives, not for the better.
This episode chronicles ourstory not only of the crash
itself and the subsequent ERvisit that we had, but also the
tenacity that I showed in tryingto find justice for what we
(01:06):
experienced.
Drunk driving is something thatI'm just not okay with, and
re-releasing this episode everyyear helps at least one person
not to drive drunk.
Then I've done my job.
This was a tough episode for meto record.
(01:28):
I hope you'll listen andremember our story should the
opportunity ever arise thatyou're put in a position to
drive after drinking.
In the United States, 12,429people died in alcohol-impaired
driving crashes in 2023,according to the National
(01:51):
Highway Traffic SafetyAdministration.
I couldn't find any statisticsfrom 2024, and obviously we're
still in 2025.
I know that this subject isn'tparticularly fun to listen to,
but I think that our story isimportant, it's important to
remember, it's important tolisten to.
(02:13):
Our story is dramatic thecourtroom saga, the aftermath,
everything that we had to dealwith had to deal with, and my
tenacity with the publicdefender's office and everything
that I had to deal with alsodetails the love that I have for
(02:33):
my husband and the aftermaththat he had to face.
I hope you'll listen.
Thank you for caring and staysafe.
Thank you for caring and staysafe.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast, september 2017.
(02:58):
Bill and I were vacationing inLas Vegas for a week.
Thursday, the 7th, is a day Iwill never forget.
We had been having a great timeand it was really wonderful.
We were finally able to getaway.
Bill's doctor had given theokay for us to travel six months
(03:19):
after his very painful neckfusion surgery, and so we drove
to Las Vegas, which is where wegot married, one of our favorite
destinations.
I remember we asked the doctorif there was anything we
shouldn't do and he said don'tever get rear-ended, it would be
(03:39):
really bad for his neck.
I've learned that when peoplesay things like this, you need
to watch out.
Maybe it's like the universe iscoming for you.
Is it a premonition?
I don't know.
It was one of our best daysever.
My husband even got his firstroyal flush in video poker, and
(04:01):
then we decided to go to theoutlet Mall by Mandalay Bay.
We found some really greatthings.
I'm not into designer stuffvery much, but I bought my first
Kate Spade bag, a tote bag withcats on it.
We were just having such agreat time being together and
not having any worries.
(04:21):
We loaded up our rental car tohead back to our hotel for
dinner With Bill.
I was always very concernedabout his neck and what the
doctor had said, and so I wasalways really careful about
driving Just driving.
In general, I'm always careful.
I was always scanning therearview mirror and looking side
(04:42):
to side, especially on thehighway route from Los Angeles.
That day it was just startingto get dark.
I remember coming out of thedriveway of the outlet mall onto
Las Vegas Boulevard and notseeing anyone to my left for
quite a distance.
I turned right from thedriveway and was slowly rolling
towards the red light ahead atWarm Springs Road and bam, I
(05:07):
felt such a force from behind Ihad never felt in any other
crash.
I never heard any brakesscreeching, I just felt the
impact.
There was so much force behindthe impact that our car just
kept moving forward and forwardso very quickly.
We were driving a rented 2016Nissan Altima and the airbags
(05:32):
deployed, but also the windowsrolled down automatically and
the front seats reclined.
These are both safety features.
I learned later, but between theincredible forward motion,
seats going back and the airbagsin my face, it was an
incredibly disorientingexperience.
I rode horses for 25 years andI've fallen off galloping horses
(05:57):
.
I've been in jewelry storerobberies with people firing
their guns, but this was by farone of the most terrifying
events of my life.
I had no control over where mybody was going.
Luckily, we both had ourseatbelts fastened, but during
the time of our car flyingforward and it hit at least one
(06:20):
car in front of us too and wegot hit on the side again I
remember thinking to myself mybody is being flung around like
a ragdoll.
I don't know when this is goingto stop, but I don't think I'm
going to be alive when it doesstop.
I honestly thought I would justbe dead.
(06:42):
And then it stopped andeverything was quiet for a few
seconds, I think I blacked out alittle during the crash because
I felt like our car rolled over.
It didn't.
People started running towardsour car and the other cars.
I asked Bill if he was okay andhe asked if I was okay.
(07:02):
If he was okay and he asked ifI was okay, we were both
conscious.
That was a good thing.
A man came up to the car windowand asked if there was anything
he could do and I wanted to saycan you take back the last five
minutes?
Instead, I started yelling call911.
(07:23):
Then we heard the sirens, andthe fire department and the
police were there to help assessmy husband and put him in an
ambulance.
The words of his doctor sayingdon't ever get rear-ended kept
playing over and over in my head.
There were people to help Billout of the car and me too.
The EMTs put cervical collarson both of us, which now I know
(07:47):
are extremely uncomfortable, andwe were off to University
Medical Center, or UMC as localpeople call it.
We had to leave all of ourbelongings in the car, all of
our lovely purchases.
The firemen said they wouldtake care of it.
They said don't worry, being inan accident like this, you are
(08:10):
thinking about the support offriends and family.
Your mind instantly goes towanting to be supported and
nurtured by those you know.
But we were 300 miles away frommost everyone we knew.
My thoughts immediately went tomy friend, betty, and her
husband, who live in Las Vegas.
(08:31):
I had met Betty at theblackjack table on one of our
visits and we had instantlybonded over the bad hands we
were getting.
I love to play blackjack and Ican sit for hours and stay
mostly, even if not win a little.
I love talking to people fromdifferent places.
(08:52):
Betty and I had connected onFacebook and kept in touch.
I messaged Betty in theambulance and told her what had
happened.
They put Bill on a gurney, butI was sitting up.
I was still in shock andincredibly worried about Bill.
In no time at all, it seemed,she responded that they would be
(09:18):
at the hospital.
I found out later they had beenat dinner and picked up and
left their party.
Those are true friends, goodpeople.
Those are true friends, goodpeople.
The hospital staff ended upputting me on one side of the ER
and Bill on the other.
I couldn't see him and I didn'tknow how he was doing, but they
let Betty into the back and shewas able to go back and forth
between us.
(09:38):
Her husband, rick, stayed outin the waiting room.
I was placed across from a manwho had fallen off his
motorcycle and injured his armpretty bad.
This is where not beingsqueamish from the sight of
blood anymore came in handy.
It was pretty messy in there.
The UMC staff was incredible.
(10:01):
They were kind, they wereprofessional, they were
efficient.
Much later a police officer whohad been at the crash site came
to see us.
He returned my driver's licenseand asked some questions.
Betty stood next to me while hetold us that he thought, from
(10:21):
the looks of our car, that thedriver was going about 80 miles
per hour when we were hit.
I think I've heard that our cartraveled about 75 feet after
impact.
It felt like so much more.
It was just a lot to take inall.
At the same time we asked himsome questions too, like was the
(10:43):
driver who hit us drunk?
I guess he couldn't really say,because all he answered was
there was something going onthere.
Betty kept updating me thatBill was doing okay and that he
was worried about me and that heloved me, and I kept telling
her to return the message backto him.
(11:06):
For the time being, we bothchecked out and were released
after having every imaginabletest known to mankind, or at
least known to an ER.
Our friends drove us back tothe hotel.
It was about 2 am, but therewas no way we could sleep.
I kept crying and if I startedto doze off, I jolted myself
awake, screaming.
We ended up having to stay anadditional two days because I
(11:29):
was still so dizzy from thecrash.
I just wanted to rest.
The ER doctors told us not todrive for several days.
Anyhow, when we went to theHertz holding yard, where they
had towed what was left of therental car, we had to retrieve
our belongings.
Well, we first found the carand we were able to see it in
(11:53):
the light of day.
Wow, it was amazing to see it.
Then we finally found asecurity guard who didn't know
how it all worked.
He directed us over to the mainrental yard and let's say this
was a huge compound.
It was part of the airport.
Finally, we were told by asupervisor, in a very rude
manner, that all of ourbelongings must have been stolen
and they weren't responsible.
It was all very upsetting.
(12:15):
We had at least $500 worth ofpurchases in that car.
We did, in the end, geteverything back.
The staff that was there whenthe car came in had secured
everything in their offices, butit was just one more traumatic
thing we didn't need to gothrough.
Our nerves were raw.
We filled out a short formdetailing what happened.
(12:37):
I had also called the night ofthe crash and told them what
happened to their car.
Then the representative at therental car counter ended up
giving me another rental car andsaid thank you for choosing
Hertz.
It was like he was on autopilotand wasn't taking into
consideration what had happenedto the last car they gave us.
(12:58):
We had to laugh at that.
I felt like saying, well, I'lltry to bring this one back in
one piece.
Laugh at that.
I felt like saying, well, I'lltry to bring this one back in
one piece.
No matter what happens to you,there's always room for laughter
.
We also went back to the sceneof the crash and we looked at
the place where we had ended up.
(13:19):
It was pretty easy to find,because there was a pile of sand
where the cars had depositedall their internal fluids, shall
we say and we were able to seethe spacing from the driveway to
the intersection and it wasgood to see the space.
(13:42):
It was also hard to see thespace again and it was good to
have perspective, in the lightof day, on what had happened For
months after the crash.
Driving, especially on thefreeway, was very stressful for
me.
Any screech of brakes orsomeone tailgating me too
(14:02):
closely sent my blood pressureskyrocketing and my heart racing
.
I would often burst into tears.
I ended up finding a therapistto try to work through my PTSD,
which helped a little, but hewas not the best therapist in my
opinion.
He would often get my namewrong in our sessions, calling
(14:23):
me Stacy and forgetting some ofthe main points of my story.
It was frustrating, to say theleast.
Anyway, I don't get upsetanymore hearing screeching
brakes, but when people followme too closely I still get
nervous.
There was a lot of business thathad to be taken care of around
the crash Talking to theinsurance company, getting us
(14:47):
both to our doctors to make surewe were okay and just
discussing it.
In general.
I'll say that talking about thecrash for a long time would
result in me crying.
It was just too much to dealwith.
I had the usual stiffness andpain associated with a crash.
We checked in with Bill'sspinal surgeon and he said that
everything looked okay but thatsometimes injuries showed up
(15:11):
down the road.
He wanted Bill to rest for awhile before returning to
physical therapy to getrechecked in a few months.
The driver's insurance ended uppaying for the rental car.
So did they acceptresponsibility?
Did my insurance have thepolice report?
Was there a blood alcohol testtaken and what were the results?
(15:33):
It became increasinglyfrustrating because I couldn't
get a copy of the police reportthrough my insurance company.
At one point the adjuster saidthat the report didn't really
matter.
My mind was blown.
Didn't matter?
Bill and I ended up going backto Las Vegas and stood in line
(15:55):
to order a copy of the reportourselves, only to be told that
any information about any bloodalcohol test was private
information under HIPAA.
Mind blown again Then.
Bill wanted to go back to work.
He was feeling pretty good buthe needed a doctor's approval.
(16:16):
It was now early December.
We would always go to everycheckup and they would take an
x-ray first.
I remember the doctor came inwith his assistant and just kind
of looked at us.
He told us that one vertebraehad shifted in Bill's neck, most
likely from the accident andthat Bill would need another
neck fusion surgery.
(16:37):
The disappointment that I feltalone, but then watching my
husband get the news, wasdevastating, knowing what he had
gone through the first time.
Well, it was more than I couldbear to think of us going
through it a second time.
And all because someone made abad choice that night, had way
(16:57):
too much to drink and got behindthe wheel of a car the range of
negative emotions indescribable.
In the meantime, I started doingsome research.
We received a letter from thestate of Nevada saying that we
might be called as witnesses inthe state's case against this
person.
(17:17):
She had pled not guilty to amisdemeanor DUI.
I started reading more aboutthe laws in Nevada.
I learned that if she was foundguilty of the misdemeanor, it
would only be on her record fora year, but if a serious injury
had occurred as a result of acrash, but especially a DUI, the
(17:38):
charge could be upgraded to afelony.
That would be on her record forseven years.
We had received a letter fromthe Victim's Assistance Division
and so I called the number forour advocate.
The letter said to call if youhave questions.
I heard a recording that toldme our advocate was busy.
(17:58):
It said to leave a message andjust wait, don't call again.
He would get back to us when hecould.
So I left a message, but Ididn't have much faith.
Bill had the surgery about amonth later.
I remember he really didn'teven go out in the car with me
if he didn't absolutely have to.
It was a good thing, becauseafter the surgery the surgeon
(18:22):
told me that the vertebrae wasliterally hanging by a thread
and was so close to giving out.
Bill would have been paralyzed.
When I experience a moment likethat, I'm, of course, shocked,
maybe a little saddened that iteven had to come to this, but
also amazed and incrediblygrateful that nothing worse
(18:44):
happened.
Of course we wished it nevercame to that.
I will say that there are a lotof car accidents in Las Vegas
and a lot of DUIs.
All you have to do is watchlocal TV stations for any amount
of time or drive around town tosee the attorney billboards and
you start to get the sense thatthis is a big business in town.
(19:06):
Well, I still hadn't heard fromthe victim's advocate and, not
being one to take silence as ananswer, I tried calling the
public defender's office to seewho was handling the case
against the woman who hit us.
It was always Nevada versus thedriver.
They told me to contact myvictim's advocate.
All this business with thestate was completely separate
(19:29):
from our dealings with insuranceand our own attorney.
Our attorney had his own workto do and really didn't seem to
want to get involved with oradvise me about the driver at
all.
I understood it was twocompletely separate fights.
I understood it was twocompletely separate fights.
This was about the time Icontacted MAD, or Mothers
(19:54):
Against Drunk Driving.
If you aren't familiar withthem, they are a non-profit
organization and have chaptersacross the country.
I called the Las Vegas officeand spoke to a lovely woman who
was not only kind but atremendous amount of help.
They unfortunately have a lotof experience with this kind of
thing.
She advised me to contact thesupervisor of the victim's
(20:17):
advocate office.
Why hadn't I thought of that?
Let me just say that this wholething was a lot of work and a
lot of stress.
I felt like I was constantlygoing up against the grain, not
getting a lot of help orpositive feedback, but I knew I
was doing the right thing.
There was something in me thatwas pushing for something I
(20:39):
didn't quite yet understand.
I was driven by the fact thatmy husband and I had suffered
needlessly.
I eventually got through to thesupervisor that Mad suggested
and this finally started to setthings in motion.
I kept having to be assertiveand push, push, push, but once I
(21:00):
had her attention and shelistened to me, she apologized
for letting us down, for thesystem letting us down.
Soon I would be having aconversation with the man who
was going to work on prosecutingthe case.
Wow, I thought success.
Did it have to be this hard?
(21:21):
The first time I spoke to theNevada prosecutor who would be
working on our case was mybirthday, march 22nd.
I mean, the irony is not loston me.
He was kind and took time tolisten.
He asked questions and saidthat he could definitely get the
(21:43):
charge up to a felony.
When I finally got off thephone, yes, I felt emotionally
drained again, but I felt somemeasure of closure was on its
way.
Gosh, was I way off?
Closure was way down the road.
The prosecutor and I had severalconversations over the course
(22:04):
of the case.
He was the one who had finallyfound the drunk driver's blood
alcohol level 0.25%.
That's about three times thelegal limit.
It was July of that year thatwould be 2018, when we were at
one of Bill's physical therapyappointments.
(22:26):
As the team would put Billthrough his paces, I would sit
nearby and cheer him on.
It was a large open room withtables lining both sides of the
room where patients would beworking on their exercises.
I had thought in the back of mymind that our crash was so bad
(22:48):
that the driver would never,ever, drink and drive again.
She would never put anyoneelse's life in danger.
When the prosecutor called methat day, we were talking about
the case and then, towards theend of our conversation, he told
me something that just blew meaway.
He was saying that for mostpeople, when they get their
(23:10):
first DUI, that scares the crapout of them, so they straighten
up and don't drink and driveagain.
But for a small percentage ofoffenders up and don't drink and
drive again.
But for a small percentage ofoffenders the serious alcoholics
they will drink and drive againand get caught.
He said it.
You might even say offhandedlythat she did have a second DUI
(23:33):
about two months after our crashwith a child in her car.
I had walked outside of thephysical therapy office so I
wouldn't bother anyone inside.
When I heard this, I let outsomething like a yelp.
I started to have a panicattack.
I did my best to contain myself.
(23:54):
I felt like a boulder had hitme.
After we hung up, I went backinside and sat down next to my
husband's table.
He was in the middle of theroom doing a floor exercise with
one of the staff.
I started to replay our crashin my mind and this news of the
subsequent DUI, and I startedfeeling like I was going to lose
(24:17):
it.
But I was in a large room fullof people and I didn't want to
freak anyone out, so I grabbed apillow and I cried into that.
Hearing about the second DUImade me relive our whole crash.
It made me feel like it washappening all over again.
(24:39):
It made me feel like it washappening all over again and
that she could easily go on togravely injure or kill someone
else or herself.
It still gets me.
I couldn't stop crying for 20minutes.
(24:59):
I couldn't even breathe.
I was inconsolable.
It was like it had justhappened to us all over again.
When Bill came back to histable, at first he didn't fully
understand what was going on,and when I explained, we were
(25:25):
both so upset Until I wasrecording the episode I didn't
fully realize I was going to getupset.
It still gets to me and I'mpretty sure it will always be a
trigger and I'm pretty sure itwill always be a trigger.
It wasn't until we met in personwith the prosecutor that we
learned the details of thatsecond DUI.
(25:46):
We traveled back to Las Vegasagain for a short vacation and I
asked if we could meet theprosecutor at his office and
speak with him about the case.
Meet the prosecutor at hisoffice and speak with him about
the case.
This seemed like a goodopportunity for all of us to
talk about the accident together, for him to ask us any
(26:09):
questions he might have and forus to all get clear on what
would happen going forward, as Imentioned.
Forward.
As I mentioned, I spoke to hima lot on the phone and shared it
all with Bill, but nothingreally takes the place of a
(26:29):
direct conversation, especiallyin person.
This was the first time we hadthe chance to meet our victim's
advocate in person as well.
He was so kind and so calmabout everything.
He obviously was good at hisjob of being an advocate.
I just think that there are toomany victims and not enough
advocates.
(26:49):
I want to add in here that I'mintentionally not using any
names because I want to preservethe anonymity of everyone
involved.
I'll say this there comes atime in your life when you reach
an age when you realize thatbeing older isn't always being
wiser.
You meet people who are younger, who are exemplary at what they
(27:15):
do, either because of theirdrive, their spirit or their
general life force.
The prosecutor for us was oneof those people obviously young
but so very good at what he does, so very committed to working
(27:35):
in the vehicular section of theLas Vegas District Attorney's
Office.
We were both impressed.
That day we talked for almosttwo hours about our case, about
what happened to us, about thedrunk driver and about what
would happen going forward.
We found out that the drunkdriver's second DUI two months
(27:59):
after our our crash, wasn't theresult of another car crash.
She had been observed at a gasstation around noontime acting
erratically with her baby in theback seat.
Two women, who were customers,had asked her if she was okay
(28:21):
and she replied they're out ofgas, which seemed a little odd
since the women were buying gasas well.
The women called 911 and endedup following her.
She didn't hit anyonemiraculously, although she did
come close to hitting amotorcycle.
(28:43):
The police stopped her and thereport showed that her
breathalyzer read an amazing0.49.
The prosecutor told us that at0.50, you are basically dead
because your body can't absorbany more alcohol.
(29:06):
And this was at lunchtime.
For this offense, she hadimmediately pled guilty to a
misdemeanor DUI and misdemeanorchild endangerment charge.
Our crash didn't show up becauseit hadn't been resolved yet and
(29:27):
because she had pled not guilty.
If our crash had shown up inthe records, her outcome that
day would have been muchdifferent.
Her outcome that day would havebeen much different, much more
severe, but because she had plednot guilty to our crash, it
(29:47):
wasn't showing up.
It fell through the cracks, soto speak.
We talked about our case andhow things might work.
The prosecutor was always veryrespectful, asking what we
wanted to see as the finaloutcome.
Did we want jail time for thedriver?
This was always a very toughquestion for me and for Bill.
(30:11):
We don't see ourselves asjudges or passing judgment on
others.
Judges or passing judgment onothers.
We were just hoping, I think,for the best through the process
and foreclosure.
We wanted to put this allbehind us.
I remember some of our friendshad said yes, she deserves to be
(30:33):
in jail.
But when you were faced withthe direct question at least for
me and Bill it just wasn't soeasy.
The next decision that we neededto make was whether or not to
wait for a jury trial.
Bill's injuries didn't show upright away, as we suspected.
(30:53):
This would be an issue if wewaited for a jury trial.
But there were other factorstoo.
Would the police officer stillbe around in four to five years
Because it would take that longto go to a full jury trial?
Would we want to wait that longfor all this to be settled?
I realized that this was reallyup to my husband and what he
(31:17):
felt comfortable with.
The crash had affected hishealth the most, although, yes,
it had affected both of ourmental health as well.
But I knew that Bill had tofeel very sure that, whatever we
decided, he was comfortablewith.
(31:50):
The other option would beoffering her a plea deal.
The other option would beoffering her a plea deal.
In this way, we would assurethat we, but a felony, would
still be on her record for thefull seven years and if she got
another DUI, it would beimmediate jail time, even if it
was a misdemeanor.
It would be somewhat moreappealing to the drunk driver
(32:14):
and her lawyer because it wouldstill be a lesser charge from
the felony DUI.
If she accepted this, she wouldplead guilty and the sentencing
hearing would be scheduled.
We would both be able to giveour victim's impact statements
in court before the judge beforehe passed sentence.
In the end, that's what Billdecided he felt most comfortable
(32:38):
with, although, let's face it,comfortable really isn't the
correct word here.
There's nothing comfortableabout any of this.
In the meantime, bill's employerasked if he could return to
work.
Bill had been building up hisstrength and he was resting up.
All of a sudden one of theother staff up a quit and his
(33:00):
boss called when we were inPhiladelphia where I was
speaking at a conference, to askif Bill could work that day.
Bill likes to tell the storythat he got some good luck from
throwing a penny on BenFranklin's grave while we were
touring the city.
People say if you toss a pennyon the grave and it lands heads
(33:21):
up, you'll have good luck for ayear.
We were certainly due for somegood luck.
Finally, we got the date of thesentencing, valentine's Day
2019.
Unfortunately, it became clearlyevident to me that I wasn't
going to be able to travel toVegas for the sentencing.
I had started out sick at theend of 2018 with a mild
(33:44):
bronchitis and got my firstround of antibiotics.
Then it turned out I had strepthroat.
Then I got my second round ofantibiotics.
Then, when I finished that, Istill had a bad sore throat and
I got antibiotics round three.
Well, january turned intoFebruary and I still didn't feel
(34:10):
very good.
My energy level was very low.
I was trying to push through,get into the office as much as I
possibly could, which wasn'tvery much.
I really wasn't eating thatgreat.
I had been steadily gainingweight since my dad passed away.
When I still wasn't rebounding.
(34:31):
After yet another week, thedoctor suggested getting blood
work done.
Imagine my surprise when theresults came back that I had
mono, also known as theEpstein-Barr virus.
It all made sense now.
A lot of people made fun of methat I had what was known as the
kissing disease in high school.
(34:53):
Ah, yes, always trying to keepit light.
Ah, yes, always trying to keepit light.
I was staying home, sleeping alot and working from home as I
could, I would try to go out forabout an hour a day to get us
food or do one errand.
I would come back feeling likeI had been out driving and
(35:14):
walking around for 20 hours.
It was like trying to runthrough water.
It was incredibly draining andvery hard to lift my head off
the pillow.
Sometimes there was no way wecould travel to Vegas now for
the sentencing.
I asked if we could get itcontinued, even though there was
(35:34):
nothing I could do.
It was disappointing for sure.
Sometimes your body justdoesn't cooperate with what you
want to accomplish.
Our new date was now Thursday,may 16th 2019, 20 months after
the crash.
It started to become more real.
(35:56):
We were going to drive out theday before and the week or so
before I started to give seriousconsideration to my statement
in court, I wanted to make surethat I said all the right things
, that I covered all the points.
I wanted to have it printed outin front of me and not leave it
(36:16):
to memory.
I started writing it and keptworking on it some every day.
I was kind of OCD about it.
Bill, on the other hand, endedup going pretty much by the seat
of his pants.
No-transcript for Vegas thatour guy was on leave and we
(37:04):
would have one of the otherprosecutors handling our case.
I stopped breathing.
I had spent so much time.
We had both spent so much timewith him.
How could someone else justslide in at the last minute and
do a decent job with the case?
I asked if we could talk withthe new prosecutor and a phone
(37:25):
call took place before we got onthe road for Vegas.
We were already so stressed outabout everything.
Well, our fears and ourfrustration melted away.
This substitute actually hadseniority over our guy and it
was like she had been with usthe whole way through the
process.
It turned out that our guy well, his wife had just had a baby,
(37:48):
so I couldn't fault him fortaking time off.
The next day, we dressed in oursomber and serious business
attire and proceeded to the LasVegas courthouse.
After going through security,we found the victim's advocate
reception office and waited forour advocate.
I can't speak for Bill, but Iwas a nervous wreck.
(38:09):
Our advocate appeared and wasso calm, and he talked us
through everything.
When we did arrive at thecourtroom, I briefly caught
sight of who I thought was thedefendant.
We had never seen the driver atthe crash scene.
She was dressed very nicely ina plain navy blue dress.
(38:31):
Our new prosecutor showed up andwe spoke briefly.
One of my questions the daybefore on the phone was had she
had any other DUIs anywhere elsebefore these two in Nevada?
She now reported that a DUI hadshown up a few years back in
another state, but there weren'tany details because of the time
(38:54):
that had lapsed since then.
She and our advocate talked tous about how things would work
and what would happen, and thenthey escorted us into the
courtroom and showed us where tosit, on the opposite side from
the defendant, her attorney andanyone else that was with her.
Now, we've all seen courtroomson TV, right, but what was
(39:17):
before us was very different.
The jury box was filled withinmates, some in navy blue and
some in orange prison jumpsuits.
They all had shackles on theirhands and feet.
All the inmates were men.
On their hands and feet, allthe inmates were men, and I mean
(39:41):
naturally they looked somewhatdejected and very serious.
This was the majority of ouraudience, besides the court
clerks and the court reporter.
We sat through about five to 10cases once the judge appeared,
so we both got a sense of whathe was like.
Then it was our turn.
Our prosecutor stood up alongwith the defendant and her
(40:04):
attorney, and both attorneys hadthe chance to address the judge
.
Then the defendant had a chanceto address the court.
She spoke from the heart andshe talked about how her dad was
an alcoholic and how she feltthis affected her.
She told the court that she hadrelinquished her driver's
license.
(40:24):
She talked about how she hadhoped one day to go into the
legal profession herself.
She turned and spoke directlyto us and apologized for the
crash.
This all was a difficultsituation, but one that we had
been working up to for months.
I remember holding her gaze asshe spoke and looking her in the
(40:49):
eye.
The whole time I tried tomaintain a look not of anger or
judgment, or even acceptance orforgiveness, but just absorbing
the information she wasconveying.
Everyone who knows me knows I'man empath.
I'm a big sap, okay.
(41:11):
I feel things deeply and havesympathy for people and their
issues, no matter what,sometimes too much.
This was rough.
Naturally, at first I startedto feel sorry for her.
I could see the situation fromher side.
I felt as if she had learnedher lesson.
(41:33):
But then I stopped myself and Isaid to myself no, don't go
there.
That's what she's trying tomake you think.
I had to keep in mind all thatwe had experienced, all that we
had been through.
It was my turn to speak.
(41:54):
Bill and I had discussed whichone of us would go first and had
gone back and forth with thisdecision, but in the end, again,
I left it up to him to choose.
It was really more about himhealing from this experience.
Right, I had written and editedmy speech painstakingly.
(42:16):
I had angsted over it and hadfriends read it for clarity and
cohesiveness.
It was several pages long.
The judge oh, he was so patientwith me in allowing me to have
my say.
I did add, speaking directly tothe defendant, that I
(42:38):
appreciated her words, but thefact remained that she put us
all at risk At some pointsduring my speech.
Naturally, I was moved to tears, no surprise.
I tried to ignore the gaze ofthe inmates to my left.
What were they thinking?
(42:59):
I tried to focus on the matterat hand.
Then it was Bill's turn.
I had worked hard to find hisclothing that was courtroom
appropriate, since Bill'swardrobe consists mostly of
t-shirts and hoodies.
Bill's wardrobe consists mostlyof t-shirts and hoodies.
I had gone shopping and foundhim a long-sleeved Ralph Lauren
(43:25):
navy shirt.
Recently I also gifted him witha beautiful navy zip cardigan
sweater that he hadn't worn yet.
It wasn't necessarily his style, but I knew he'd look good in
it.
We paired the two together andhe ended up looking like a kind,
casual, slightly youngerversion of a Marcus Welby.
(43:46):
That day, while he had beenangry through most of this
process over the outcome of thecrash and how could anyone blame
him of the crash and how couldanyone blame him he stood up and
spoke kindly andcompassionately about the crash
itself, his surgery, the painand how he felt about it.
(44:07):
He ended up sounding like aversion of Mr Rogers telling
about the dangers of drivingdrunk.
He showed concern for thedefendant herself and he wrapped
it all up by saying that hefelt it was his responsibility
to be a voice for the people whocould be victims of a drunk
(44:27):
driver or were victims of adrunk driver who didn't survive.
It was a strong message.
I was so proud of him.
Then he returned to his seatbeside me.
In her remarks the defendanthad said she never had a DUI
(44:48):
before these two, but theprosecutor had found that DUI
before she moved to Nevada.
While it wasn't verbalized incourt, it was shared in writing
to the judge.
After Bill's statement, thejudge started to speak, and at
first he seemed to me as if hewould let her go with probation.
(45:12):
I had decided, going into this,that whatever the outcome was,
I was going to be okay with it.
Well then he started to talkabout our crash, but also about
her subsequent DUI with herchild in the car, and he called
(45:32):
that unconscionable.
It was then that I saw thebailiff slowly and very quietly
walk from his post at the backof the courtroom to stand behind
the defendant.
The judge continued to speakand his tone was getting more
serious.
He told the defendant that shewas sentenced to 12 to 48 months
(45:56):
in jail for her crime.
Immediately, there was a loudwail from the other side of the
courtroom.
The bailiff's hands movedforward and took the defendant's
hands behind her back andhandcuffed her.
Her knees started to buckle andshe yelled out no.
As the bailiff led her towardsthe door to the back room, she
(46:19):
looked back to the source of thewailing, but not at us.
Our victim's advocate told usto sit still and we were both
fine with that.
The wailing continued on and onand it sounded like a woman.
I thought her mother, but wewere told later it was her
husband.
It took some time for them tocalm him down and have him exit
(46:42):
from the courtroom and then theydidn't want us to encounter him
in the hallway.
So we stayed put for about 15minutes.
With the buildup to this day andthe emotion we put into the
hearing, the wailing and herreaction, it was a lot to take
in, a lot to process.
When we were finally able toleave the courtroom, we first
(47:05):
had a quick debrief with theprosecutor.
She immediately looked at ourfaces and said you didn't put
her in jail.
The judge did.
Of course we both knew that.
Oh, but it was certainly a goodreminder.
We thanked her for all herefforts on our behalf.
(47:26):
We were both a littleshell-shocked.
Our advocate took us back tothe victim's office waiting room
and we filled out somepaperwork More paperwork,
there's always paperwork.
Bill and I returned to our hoteland changed into more casual
clothing.
We took a nap.
(47:46):
We were exhausted.
Then we got something to eatand went about our day.
The next morning we woke up andwe both just felt stunned.
It was still a lot to process.
I know we both should have beenhappy, but happy wasn't
(48:08):
necessarily the emotion that wefelt.
Of course, it wasn't ourdecision.
I had to keep reminding myselfthat it was the decision we had
been hoping for.
Yes, that she would beprotected from harming herself
and other people, but thatdidn't mean it was, overall, a
(48:29):
pleasant experience.
We could start to put it behindus, though, and that was a good
thing.
It had hung over our heads fora long time, and this was the
beginning of us moving on.
She served 12 months beforegoing on parole for a year.
(48:52):
We knew it would never be thefull 48 months a year.
We knew it would never be thefull 48 months.
We received some smallrestitution payments through the
system, and our attorney wasable to get all of our medical
bills settled and find a littlebit of money for us to keep.
It wasn't a lot, but it wassomething.
We would have gladly given allthe money back if we could have
(49:17):
just not experienced any of it.
I should say that back in 2017,when the mass shooting took
place across from Mandalay Bayin Las Vegas on October 1st not
even a month after our crash wefelt for all the victims and the
(49:38):
staff at UMC University MedicalCenter, where we had gone after
our crash.
The shooting took place soclose to our crash site it was
less than a mile.
It turned out that even one ofmy high school classmates lost
her niece that night.
She had been at the concertwith her sister.
(50:01):
On a subsequent trip to LasVegas, we visited the healing
garden that was created inmemory of the victims.
It's an emotional experience tosee the photos of the victims
and the memories left there byfamily and friends.
(50:28):
I said it before, but sincethese events, the words ring
truer to me than ever before.
Every day is a gift.
Since the crash, I recognizeits anniversary as something
like a gratitude day.
So grateful we survived.
It could have been so muchdifferent.
(50:49):
Every day is a gift.
Well, folks, that's all I'vegot for today.
That's the story of our drunkdriver crash.
Next week we'll visit a lightersubject.
It's time, right.
I hope you'll join me.
If you like this episode.
(51:12):
Please follow the Only ChildDiaries podcast on Apple
Podcasts or other platforms youmight listen on and consider
rating Only Child Diaries andwriting a review.
It helps others to find us.
Please share it with a friendyou think might like it as well.
Visit my Instagram page OnlyChild Diaries or Facebook Only
Child Diaries Podcast.
(51:33):
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallace and these arethe Only Child Diaries.
September 7th 2017 is a day that I just will never
forget.
It's the day my husband and Iwe were on vacation in Las Vegas
were rear-ended by a drunkdriver.
Every year since I started theOnly Child Diaries podcast, I've
(00:24):
talked about this crash withyou, and this year I'm
re-releasing the episode again.
To me, drunk driving issomething that should never
happen, and what I've seen isthat drunk driving can
drastically change lives.
(00:44):
What I've seen is that drunkdriving can drastically change
lives, not for the better.
This episode chronicles ourstory not only of the crash
itself and the subsequent ERvisit that we had, but also the
tenacity that I showed in tryingto find justice for what we
(01:06):
experienced.
Drunk driving is something thatI'm just not okay with, and
re-releasing this episode everyyear helps at least one person
not to drive drunk.
Then I've done my job.
This was a tough episode for meto record.
(01:28):
I hope you'll listen andremember our story should the
opportunity ever arise thatyou're put in a position to
drive after drinking.
In the United States, 12,429people died in alcohol-impaired
driving crashes in 2023,according to the National
(01:51):
Highway Traffic SafetyAdministration.
I couldn't find any statisticsfrom 2024, and obviously we're
still in 2025.
I know that this subject isn'tparticularly fun to listen to,
but I think that our story isimportant, it's important to
remember, it's important tolisten to.
(02:13):
Our story is dramatic thecourtroom saga, the aftermath,
everything that we had to dealwith had to deal with, and my
tenacity with the publicdefender's office and everything
that I had to deal with alsodetails the love that I have for
(02:33):
my husband and the aftermaththat he had to face.
I hope you'll listen.
Thank you for caring and staysafe.
Thank you for caring and staysafe.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast, september 2017.
(02:58):
Bill and I were vacationing inLas Vegas for a week.
Thursday, the 7th, is a day Iwill never forget.
We had been having a great timeand it was really wonderful.
We were finally able to getaway.
Bill's doctor had given theokay for us to travel six months
(03:19):
after his very painful neckfusion surgery, and so we drove
to Las Vegas, which is where wegot married, one of our favorite
destinations.
I remember we asked the doctorif there was anything we
shouldn't do and he said don'tever get rear-ended, it would be
(03:39):
really bad for his neck.
I've learned that when peoplesay things like this, you need
to watch out.
Maybe it's like the universe iscoming for you.
Is it a premonition?
I don't know.
It was one of our best daysever.
My husband even got his firstroyal flush in video poker, and
(04:01):
then we decided to go to theoutlet Mall by Mandalay Bay.
We found some really greatthings.
I'm not into designer stuffvery much, but I bought my first
Kate Spade bag, a tote bag withcats on it.
We were just having such agreat time being together and
not having any worries.
(04:21):
We loaded up our rental car tohead back to our hotel for
dinner With Bill.
I was always very concernedabout his neck and what the
doctor had said, and so I wasalways really careful about
driving Just driving.
In general, I'm always careful.
I was always scanning therearview mirror and looking side
(04:42):
to side, especially on thehighway route from Los Angeles.
That day it was just startingto get dark.
I remember coming out of thedriveway of the outlet mall onto
Las Vegas Boulevard and notseeing anyone to my left for
quite a distance.
I turned right from thedriveway and was slowly rolling
towards the red light ahead atWarm Springs Road and bam, I
(05:07):
felt such a force from behind Ihad never felt in any other
crash.
I never heard any brakesscreeching, I just felt the
impact.
There was so much force behindthe impact that our car just
kept moving forward and forwardso very quickly.
We were driving a rented 2016Nissan Altima and the airbags
(05:32):
deployed, but also the windowsrolled down automatically and
the front seats reclined.
These are both safety features.
I learned later, but between theincredible forward motion,
seats going back and the airbagsin my face, it was an
incredibly disorientingexperience.
I rode horses for 25 years andI've fallen off galloping horses
(05:57):
.
I've been in jewelry storerobberies with people firing
their guns, but this was by farone of the most terrifying
events of my life.
I had no control over where mybody was going.
Luckily, we both had ourseatbelts fastened, but during
the time of our car flyingforward and it hit at least one
(06:20):
car in front of us too and wegot hit on the side again I
remember thinking to myself mybody is being flung around like
a ragdoll.
I don't know when this is goingto stop, but I don't think I'm
going to be alive when it doesstop.
I honestly thought I would justbe dead.
(06:42):
And then it stopped andeverything was quiet for a few
seconds, I think I blacked out alittle during the crash because
I felt like our car rolled over.
It didn't.
People started running towardsour car and the other cars.
I asked Bill if he was okay andhe asked if I was okay.
(07:02):
If he was okay and he asked ifI was okay, we were both
conscious.
That was a good thing.
A man came up to the car windowand asked if there was anything
he could do and I wanted to saycan you take back the last five
minutes?
Instead, I started yelling call911.
(07:23):
Then we heard the sirens, andthe fire department and the
police were there to help assessmy husband and put him in an
ambulance.
The words of his doctor sayingdon't ever get rear-ended kept
playing over and over in my head.
There were people to help Billout of the car and me too.
The EMTs put cervical collarson both of us, which now I know
(07:47):
are extremely uncomfortable, andwe were off to University
Medical Center, or UMC as localpeople call it.
We had to leave all of ourbelongings in the car, all of
our lovely purchases.
The firemen said they wouldtake care of it.
They said don't worry, being inan accident like this, you are
(08:10):
thinking about the support offriends and family.
Your mind instantly goes towanting to be supported and
nurtured by those you know.
But we were 300 miles away frommost everyone we knew.
My thoughts immediately went tomy friend, betty, and her
husband, who live in Las Vegas.
(08:31):
I had met Betty at theblackjack table on one of our
visits and we had instantlybonded over the bad hands we
were getting.
I love to play blackjack and Ican sit for hours and stay
mostly, even if not win a little.
I love talking to people fromdifferent places.
(08:52):
Betty and I had connected onFacebook and kept in touch.
I messaged Betty in theambulance and told her what had
happened.
They put Bill on a gurney, butI was sitting up.
I was still in shock andincredibly worried about Bill.
In no time at all, it seemed,she responded that they would be
(09:18):
at the hospital.
I found out later they had beenat dinner and picked up and
left their party.
Those are true friends, goodpeople.
Those are true friends, goodpeople.
The hospital staff ended upputting me on one side of the ER
and Bill on the other.
I couldn't see him and I didn'tknow how he was doing, but they
let Betty into the back and shewas able to go back and forth
between us.
(09:38):
Her husband, rick, stayed outin the waiting room.
I was placed across from a manwho had fallen off his
motorcycle and injured his armpretty bad.
This is where not beingsqueamish from the sight of
blood anymore came in handy.
It was pretty messy in there.
The UMC staff was incredible.
(10:01):
They were kind, they wereprofessional, they were
efficient.
Much later a police officer whohad been at the crash site came
to see us.
He returned my driver's licenseand asked some questions.
Betty stood next to me while hetold us that he thought, from
(10:21):
the looks of our car, that thedriver was going about 80 miles
per hour when we were hit.
I think I've heard that our cartraveled about 75 feet after
impact.
It felt like so much more.
It was just a lot to take inall.
At the same time we asked himsome questions too, like was the
(10:43):
driver who hit us drunk?
I guess he couldn't really say,because all he answered was
there was something going onthere.
Betty kept updating me thatBill was doing okay and that he
was worried about me and that heloved me, and I kept telling
her to return the message backto him.
(11:06):
For the time being, we bothchecked out and were released
after having every imaginabletest known to mankind, or at
least known to an ER.
Our friends drove us back tothe hotel.
It was about 2 am, but therewas no way we could sleep.
I kept crying and if I startedto doze off, I jolted myself
awake, screaming.
We ended up having to stay anadditional two days because I
(11:29):
was still so dizzy from thecrash.
I just wanted to rest.
The ER doctors told us not todrive for several days.
Anyhow, when we went to theHertz holding yard, where they
had towed what was left of therental car, we had to retrieve
our belongings.
Well, we first found the carand we were able to see it in
(11:53):
the light of day.
Wow, it was amazing to see it.
Then we finally found asecurity guard who didn't know
how it all worked.
He directed us over to the mainrental yard and let's say this
was a huge compound.
It was part of the airport.
Finally, we were told by asupervisor, in a very rude
manner, that all of ourbelongings must have been stolen
and they weren't responsible.
It was all very upsetting.
(12:15):
We had at least $500 worth ofpurchases in that car.
We did, in the end, geteverything back.
The staff that was there whenthe car came in had secured
everything in their offices, butit was just one more traumatic
thing we didn't need to gothrough.
Our nerves were raw.
We filled out a short formdetailing what happened.
(12:37):
I had also called the night ofthe crash and told them what
happened to their car.
Then the representative at therental car counter ended up
giving me another rental car andsaid thank you for choosing
Hertz.
It was like he was on autopilotand wasn't taking into
consideration what had happenedto the last car they gave us.
(12:58):
We had to laugh at that.
I felt like saying, well, I'lltry to bring this one back in
one piece.
Laugh at that.
I felt like saying, well, I'lltry to bring this one back in
one piece.
No matter what happens to you,there's always room for laughter
.
We also went back to the sceneof the crash and we looked at
the place where we had ended up.
(13:19):
It was pretty easy to find,because there was a pile of sand
where the cars had depositedall their internal fluids, shall
we say and we were able to seethe spacing from the driveway to
the intersection and it wasgood to see the space.
(13:42):
It was also hard to see thespace again and it was good to
have perspective, in the lightof day, on what had happened For
months after the crash.
Driving, especially on thefreeway, was very stressful for
me.
Any screech of brakes orsomeone tailgating me too
(14:02):
closely sent my blood pressureskyrocketing and my heart racing
.
I would often burst into tears.
I ended up finding a therapistto try to work through my PTSD,
which helped a little, but hewas not the best therapist in my
opinion.
He would often get my namewrong in our sessions, calling
(14:23):
me Stacy and forgetting some ofthe main points of my story.
It was frustrating, to say theleast.
Anyway, I don't get upsetanymore hearing screeching
brakes, but when people followme too closely I still get
nervous.
There was a lot of business thathad to be taken care of around
the crash Talking to theinsurance company, getting us
(14:47):
both to our doctors to make surewe were okay and just
discussing it.
In general.
I'll say that talking about thecrash for a long time would
result in me crying.
It was just too much to dealwith.
I had the usual stiffness andpain associated with a crash.
We checked in with Bill'sspinal surgeon and he said that
everything looked okay but thatsometimes injuries showed up
(15:11):
down the road.
He wanted Bill to rest for awhile before returning to
physical therapy to getrechecked in a few months.
The driver's insurance ended uppaying for the rental car.
So did they acceptresponsibility?
Did my insurance have thepolice report?
Was there a blood alcohol testtaken and what were the results?
(15:33):
It became increasinglyfrustrating because I couldn't
get a copy of the police reportthrough my insurance company.
At one point the adjuster saidthat the report didn't really
matter.
My mind was blown.
Didn't matter?
Bill and I ended up going backto Las Vegas and stood in line
(15:55):
to order a copy of the reportourselves, only to be told that
any information about any bloodalcohol test was private
information under HIPAA.
Mind blown again Then.
Bill wanted to go back to work.
He was feeling pretty good buthe needed a doctor's approval.
(16:16):
It was now early December.
We would always go to everycheckup and they would take an
x-ray first.
I remember the doctor came inwith his assistant and just kind
of looked at us.
He told us that one vertebraehad shifted in Bill's neck, most
likely from the accident andthat Bill would need another
neck fusion surgery.
(16:37):
The disappointment that I feltalone, but then watching my
husband get the news, wasdevastating, knowing what he had
gone through the first time.
Well, it was more than I couldbear to think of us going
through it a second time.
And all because someone made abad choice that night, had way
(16:57):
too much to drink and got behindthe wheel of a car the range of
negative emotions indescribable.
In the meantime, I started doingsome research.
We received a letter from thestate of Nevada saying that we
might be called as witnesses inthe state's case against this
person.
(17:17):
She had pled not guilty to amisdemeanor DUI.
I started reading more aboutthe laws in Nevada.
I learned that if she was foundguilty of the misdemeanor, it
would only be on her record fora year, but if a serious injury
had occurred as a result of acrash, but especially a DUI, the
(17:38):
charge could be upgraded to afelony.
That would be on her record forseven years.
We had received a letter fromthe Victim's Assistance Division
and so I called the number forour advocate.
The letter said to call if youhave questions.
I heard a recording that toldme our advocate was busy.
(17:58):
It said to leave a message andjust wait, don't call again.
He would get back to us when hecould.
So I left a message, but Ididn't have much faith.
Bill had the surgery about amonth later.
I remember he really didn'teven go out in the car with me
if he didn't absolutely have to.
It was a good thing, becauseafter the surgery the surgeon
(18:22):
told me that the vertebrae wasliterally hanging by a thread
and was so close to giving out.
Bill would have been paralyzed.
When I experience a moment likethat, I'm, of course, shocked,
maybe a little saddened that iteven had to come to this, but
also amazed and incrediblygrateful that nothing worse
(18:44):
happened.
Of course we wished it nevercame to that.
I will say that there are a lotof car accidents in Las Vegas
and a lot of DUIs.
All you have to do is watchlocal TV stations for any amount
of time or drive around town tosee the attorney billboards and
you start to get the sense thatthis is a big business in town.
(19:06):
Well, I still hadn't heard fromthe victim's advocate and, not
being one to take silence as ananswer, I tried calling the
public defender's office to seewho was handling the case
against the woman who hit us.
It was always Nevada versus thedriver.
They told me to contact myvictim's advocate.
All this business with thestate was completely separate
(19:29):
from our dealings with insuranceand our own attorney.
Our attorney had his own workto do and really didn't seem to
want to get involved with oradvise me about the driver at
all.
I understood it was twocompletely separate fights.
I understood it was twocompletely separate fights.
This was about the time Icontacted MAD, or Mothers
(19:54):
Against Drunk Driving.
If you aren't familiar withthem, they are a non-profit
organization and have chaptersacross the country.
I called the Las Vegas officeand spoke to a lovely woman who
was not only kind but atremendous amount of help.
They unfortunately have a lotof experience with this kind of
thing.
She advised me to contact thesupervisor of the victim's
(20:17):
advocate office.
Why hadn't I thought of that?
Let me just say that this wholething was a lot of work and a
lot of stress.
I felt like I was constantlygoing up against the grain, not
getting a lot of help orpositive feedback, but I knew I
was doing the right thing.
There was something in me thatwas pushing for something I
(20:39):
didn't quite yet understand.
I was driven by the fact thatmy husband and I had suffered
needlessly.
I eventually got through to thesupervisor that Mad suggested
and this finally started to setthings in motion.
I kept having to be assertiveand push, push, push, but once I
(21:00):
had her attention and shelistened to me, she apologized
for letting us down, for thesystem letting us down.
Soon I would be having aconversation with the man who
was going to work on prosecutingthe case.
Wow, I thought success.
Did it have to be this hard?
(21:21):
The first time I spoke to theNevada prosecutor who would be
working on our case was mybirthday, march 22nd.
I mean, the irony is not loston me.
He was kind and took time tolisten.
He asked questions and saidthat he could definitely get the
(21:43):
charge up to a felony.
When I finally got off thephone, yes, I felt emotionally
drained again, but I felt somemeasure of closure was on its
way.
Gosh, was I way off?
Closure was way down the road.
The prosecutor and I had severalconversations over the course
(22:04):
of the case.
He was the one who had finallyfound the drunk driver's blood
alcohol level 0.25%.
That's about three times thelegal limit.
It was July of that year thatwould be 2018, when we were at
one of Bill's physical therapyappointments.
(22:26):
As the team would put Billthrough his paces, I would sit
nearby and cheer him on.
It was a large open room withtables lining both sides of the
room where patients would beworking on their exercises.
I had thought in the back of mymind that our crash was so bad
(22:48):
that the driver would never,ever, drink and drive again.
She would never put anyoneelse's life in danger.
When the prosecutor called methat day, we were talking about
the case and then, towards theend of our conversation, he told
me something that just blew meaway.
He was saying that for mostpeople, when they get their
(23:10):
first DUI, that scares the crapout of them, so they straighten
up and don't drink and driveagain.
But for a small percentage ofoffenders up and don't drink and
drive again.
But for a small percentage ofoffenders the serious alcoholics
they will drink and drive againand get caught.
He said it.
You might even say offhandedlythat she did have a second DUI
(23:33):
about two months after our crashwith a child in her car.
I had walked outside of thephysical therapy office so I
wouldn't bother anyone inside.
When I heard this, I let outsomething like a yelp.
I started to have a panicattack.
I did my best to contain myself.
(23:54):
I felt like a boulder had hitme.
After we hung up, I went backinside and sat down next to my
husband's table.
He was in the middle of theroom doing a floor exercise with
one of the staff.
I started to replay our crashin my mind and this news of the
subsequent DUI, and I startedfeeling like I was going to lose
(24:17):
it.
But I was in a large room fullof people and I didn't want to
freak anyone out, so I grabbed apillow and I cried into that.
Hearing about the second DUImade me relive our whole crash.
It made me feel like it washappening all over again.
(24:39):
It made me feel like it washappening all over again and
that she could easily go on togravely injure or kill someone
else or herself.
It still gets me.
I couldn't stop crying for 20minutes.
(24:59):
I couldn't even breathe.
I was inconsolable.
It was like it had justhappened to us all over again.
When Bill came back to histable, at first he didn't fully
understand what was going on,and when I explained, we were
(25:25):
both so upset Until I wasrecording the episode I didn't
fully realize I was going to getupset.
It still gets to me and I'mpretty sure it will always be a
trigger and I'm pretty sure itwill always be a trigger.
It wasn't until we met in personwith the prosecutor that we
learned the details of thatsecond DUI.
(25:46):
We traveled back to Las Vegasagain for a short vacation and I
asked if we could meet theprosecutor at his office and
speak with him about the case.
Meet the prosecutor at hisoffice and speak with him about
the case.
This seemed like a goodopportunity for all of us to
talk about the accident together, for him to ask us any
(26:09):
questions he might have and forus to all get clear on what
would happen going forward, as Imentioned.
Forward.
As I mentioned, I spoke to hima lot on the phone and shared it
all with Bill, but nothingreally takes the place of a
(26:29):
direct conversation, especiallyin person.
This was the first time we hadthe chance to meet our victim's
advocate in person as well.
He was so kind and so calmabout everything.
He obviously was good at hisjob of being an advocate.
I just think that there are toomany victims and not enough
advocates.
(26:49):
I want to add in here that I'mintentionally not using any
names because I want to preservethe anonymity of everyone
involved.
I'll say this there comes atime in your life when you reach
an age when you realize thatbeing older isn't always being
wiser.
You meet people who are younger, who are exemplary at what they
(27:15):
do, either because of theirdrive, their spirit or their
general life force.
The prosecutor for us was oneof those people obviously young
but so very good at what he does, so very committed to working
(27:35):
in the vehicular section of theLas Vegas District Attorney's
Office.
We were both impressed.
That day we talked for almosttwo hours about our case, about
what happened to us, about thedrunk driver and about what
would happen going forward.
We found out that the drunkdriver's second DUI two months
(27:59):
after our our crash, wasn't theresult of another car crash.
She had been observed at a gasstation around noontime acting
erratically with her baby in theback seat.
Two women, who were customers,had asked her if she was okay
(28:21):
and she replied they're out ofgas, which seemed a little odd
since the women were buying gasas well.
The women called 911 and endedup following her.
She didn't hit anyonemiraculously, although she did
come close to hitting amotorcycle.
(28:43):
The police stopped her and thereport showed that her
breathalyzer read an amazing0.49.
The prosecutor told us that at0.50, you are basically dead
because your body can't absorbany more alcohol.
(29:06):
And this was at lunchtime.
For this offense, she hadimmediately pled guilty to a
misdemeanor DUI and misdemeanorchild endangerment charge.
Our crash didn't show up becauseit hadn't been resolved yet and
(29:27):
because she had pled not guilty.
If our crash had shown up inthe records, her outcome that
day would have been muchdifferent.
Her outcome that day would havebeen much different, much more
severe, but because she had plednot guilty to our crash, it
(29:47):
wasn't showing up.
It fell through the cracks, soto speak.
We talked about our case andhow things might work.
The prosecutor was always veryrespectful, asking what we
wanted to see as the finaloutcome.
Did we want jail time for thedriver?
This was always a very toughquestion for me and for Bill.
(30:11):
We don't see ourselves asjudges or passing judgment on
others.
Judges or passing judgment onothers.
We were just hoping, I think,for the best through the process
and foreclosure.
We wanted to put this allbehind us.
I remember some of our friendshad said yes, she deserves to be
(30:33):
in jail.
But when you were faced withthe direct question at least for
me and Bill it just wasn't soeasy.
The next decision that we neededto make was whether or not to
wait for a jury trial.
Bill's injuries didn't show upright away, as we suspected.
(30:53):
This would be an issue if wewaited for a jury trial.
But there were other factorstoo.
Would the police officer stillbe around in four to five years
Because it would take that longto go to a full jury trial?
Would we want to wait that longfor all this to be settled?
I realized that this was reallyup to my husband and what he
(31:17):
felt comfortable with.
The crash had affected hishealth the most, although, yes,
it had affected both of ourmental health as well.
But I knew that Bill had tofeel very sure that, whatever we
decided, he was comfortablewith.
(31:50):
The other option would beoffering her a plea deal.
The other option would beoffering her a plea deal.
In this way, we would assurethat we, but a felony, would
still be on her record for thefull seven years and if she got
another DUI, it would beimmediate jail time, even if it
was a misdemeanor.
It would be somewhat moreappealing to the drunk driver
(32:14):
and her lawyer because it wouldstill be a lesser charge from
the felony DUI.
If she accepted this, she wouldplead guilty and the sentencing
hearing would be scheduled.
We would both be able to giveour victim's impact statements
in court before the judge beforehe passed sentence.
In the end, that's what Billdecided he felt most comfortable
(32:38):
with, although, let's face it,comfortable really isn't the
correct word here.
There's nothing comfortableabout any of this.
In the meantime, bill's employerasked if he could return to
work.
Bill had been building up hisstrength and he was resting up.
All of a sudden one of theother staff up a quit and his
(33:00):
boss called when we were inPhiladelphia where I was
speaking at a conference, to askif Bill could work that day.
Bill likes to tell the storythat he got some good luck from
throwing a penny on BenFranklin's grave while we were
touring the city.
People say if you toss a pennyon the grave and it lands heads
(33:21):
up, you'll have good luck for ayear.
We were certainly due for somegood luck.
Finally, we got the date of thesentencing, valentine's Day
2019.
Unfortunately, it became clearlyevident to me that I wasn't
going to be able to travel toVegas for the sentencing.
I had started out sick at theend of 2018 with a mild
(33:44):
bronchitis and got my firstround of antibiotics.
Then it turned out I had strepthroat.
Then I got my second round ofantibiotics.
Then, when I finished that, Istill had a bad sore throat and
I got antibiotics round three.
Well, january turned intoFebruary and I still didn't feel
(34:10):
very good.
My energy level was very low.
I was trying to push through,get into the office as much as I
possibly could, which wasn'tvery much.
I really wasn't eating thatgreat.
I had been steadily gainingweight since my dad passed away.
When I still wasn't rebounding.
(34:31):
After yet another week, thedoctor suggested getting blood
work done.
Imagine my surprise when theresults came back that I had
mono, also known as theEpstein-Barr virus.
It all made sense now.
A lot of people made fun of methat I had what was known as the
kissing disease in high school.
(34:53):
Ah, yes, always trying to keepit light.
Ah, yes, always trying to keepit light.
I was staying home, sleeping alot and working from home as I
could, I would try to go out forabout an hour a day to get us
food or do one errand.
I would come back feeling likeI had been out driving and
(35:14):
walking around for 20 hours.
It was like trying to runthrough water.
It was incredibly draining andvery hard to lift my head off
the pillow.
Sometimes there was no way wecould travel to Vegas now for
the sentencing.
I asked if we could get itcontinued, even though there was
(35:34):
nothing I could do.
It was disappointing for sure.
Sometimes your body justdoesn't cooperate with what you
want to accomplish.
Our new date was now Thursday,may 16th 2019, 20 months after
the crash.
It started to become more real.
(35:56):
We were going to drive out theday before and the week or so
before I started to give seriousconsideration to my statement
in court, I wanted to make surethat I said all the right things
, that I covered all the points.
I wanted to have it printed outin front of me and not leave it
(36:16):
to memory.
I started writing it and keptworking on it some every day.
I was kind of OCD about it.
Bill, on the other hand, endedup going pretty much by the seat
of his pants.
No-transcript for Vegas thatour guy was on leave and we
(37:04):
would have one of the otherprosecutors handling our case.
I stopped breathing.
I had spent so much time.
We had both spent so much timewith him.
How could someone else justslide in at the last minute and
do a decent job with the case?
I asked if we could talk withthe new prosecutor and a phone
(37:25):
call took place before we got onthe road for Vegas.
We were already so stressed outabout everything.
Well, our fears and ourfrustration melted away.
This substitute actually hadseniority over our guy and it
was like she had been with usthe whole way through the
process.
It turned out that our guy well, his wife had just had a baby,
(37:48):
so I couldn't fault him fortaking time off.
The next day, we dressed in oursomber and serious business
attire and proceeded to the LasVegas courthouse.
After going through security,we found the victim's advocate
reception office and waited forour advocate.
I can't speak for Bill, but Iwas a nervous wreck.
(38:09):
Our advocate appeared and wasso calm, and he talked us
through everything.
When we did arrive at thecourtroom, I briefly caught
sight of who I thought was thedefendant.
We had never seen the driver atthe crash scene.
She was dressed very nicely ina plain navy blue dress.
(38:31):
Our new prosecutor showed up andwe spoke briefly.
One of my questions the daybefore on the phone was had she
had any other DUIs anywhere elsebefore these two in Nevada?
She now reported that a DUI hadshown up a few years back in
another state, but there weren'tany details because of the time
(38:54):
that had lapsed since then.
She and our advocate talked tous about how things would work
and what would happen, and thenthey escorted us into the
courtroom and showed us where tosit, on the opposite side from
the defendant, her attorney andanyone else that was with her.
Now, we've all seen courtroomson TV, right, but what was
(39:17):
before us was very different.
The jury box was filled withinmates, some in navy blue and
some in orange prison jumpsuits.
They all had shackles on theirhands and feet.
All the inmates were men.
On their hands and feet, allthe inmates were men, and I mean
(39:41):
naturally they looked somewhatdejected and very serious.
This was the majority of ouraudience, besides the court
clerks and the court reporter.
We sat through about five to 10cases once the judge appeared,
so we both got a sense of whathe was like.
Then it was our turn.
Our prosecutor stood up alongwith the defendant and her
(40:04):
attorney, and both attorneys hadthe chance to address the judge
.
Then the defendant had a chanceto address the court.
She spoke from the heart andshe talked about how her dad was
an alcoholic and how she feltthis affected her.
She told the court that she hadrelinquished her driver's
license.
(40:24):
She talked about how she hadhoped one day to go into the
legal profession herself.
She turned and spoke directlyto us and apologized for the
crash.
This all was a difficultsituation, but one that we had
been working up to for months.
I remember holding her gaze asshe spoke and looking her in the
(40:49):
eye.
The whole time I tried tomaintain a look not of anger or
judgment, or even acceptance orforgiveness, but just absorbing
the information she wasconveying.
Everyone who knows me knows I'man empath.
I'm a big sap, okay.
(41:11):
I feel things deeply and havesympathy for people and their
issues, no matter what,sometimes too much.
This was rough.
Naturally, at first I startedto feel sorry for her.
I could see the situation fromher side.
I felt as if she had learnedher lesson.
(41:33):
But then I stopped myself and Isaid to myself no, don't go
there.
That's what she's trying tomake you think.
I had to keep in mind all thatwe had experienced, all that we
had been through.
It was my turn to speak.
(41:54):
Bill and I had discussed whichone of us would go first and had
gone back and forth with thisdecision, but in the end, again,
I left it up to him to choose.
It was really more about himhealing from this experience.
Right, I had written and editedmy speech painstakingly.
(42:16):
I had angsted over it and hadfriends read it for clarity and
cohesiveness.
It was several pages long.
The judge oh, he was so patientwith me in allowing me to have
my say.
I did add, speaking directly tothe defendant, that I
(42:38):
appreciated her words, but thefact remained that she put us
all at risk At some pointsduring my speech.
Naturally, I was moved to tears, no surprise.
I tried to ignore the gaze ofthe inmates to my left.
What were they thinking?
(42:59):
I tried to focus on the matterat hand.
Then it was Bill's turn.
I had worked hard to find hisclothing that was courtroom
appropriate, since Bill'swardrobe consists mostly of
t-shirts and hoodies.
Bill's wardrobe consists mostlyof t-shirts and hoodies.
I had gone shopping and foundhim a long-sleeved Ralph Lauren
(43:25):
navy shirt.
Recently I also gifted him witha beautiful navy zip cardigan
sweater that he hadn't worn yet.
It wasn't necessarily his style, but I knew he'd look good in
it.
We paired the two together andhe ended up looking like a kind,
casual, slightly youngerversion of a Marcus Welby.
(43:46):
That day, while he had beenangry through most of this
process over the outcome of thecrash and how could anyone blame
him of the crash and how couldanyone blame him he stood up and
spoke kindly andcompassionately about the crash
itself, his surgery, the painand how he felt about it.
(44:07):
He ended up sounding like aversion of Mr Rogers telling
about the dangers of drivingdrunk.
He showed concern for thedefendant herself and he wrapped
it all up by saying that hefelt it was his responsibility
to be a voice for the people whocould be victims of a drunk
(44:27):
driver or were victims of adrunk driver who didn't survive.
It was a strong message.
I was so proud of him.
Then he returned to his seatbeside me.
In her remarks the defendanthad said she never had a DUI
(44:48):
before these two, but theprosecutor had found that DUI
before she moved to Nevada.
While it wasn't verbalized incourt, it was shared in writing
to the judge.
After Bill's statement, thejudge started to speak, and at
first he seemed to me as if hewould let her go with probation.
(45:12):
I had decided, going into this,that whatever the outcome was,
I was going to be okay with it.
Well then he started to talkabout our crash, but also about
her subsequent DUI with herchild in the car, and he called
(45:32):
that unconscionable.
It was then that I saw thebailiff slowly and very quietly
walk from his post at the backof the courtroom to stand behind
the defendant.
The judge continued to speakand his tone was getting more
serious.
He told the defendant that shewas sentenced to 12 to 48 months
(45:56):
in jail for her crime.
Immediately, there was a loudwail from the other side of the
courtroom.
The bailiff's hands movedforward and took the defendant's
hands behind her back andhandcuffed her.
Her knees started to buckle andshe yelled out no.
As the bailiff led her towardsthe door to the back room, she
(46:19):
looked back to the source of thewailing, but not at us.
Our victim's advocate told usto sit still and we were both
fine with that.
The wailing continued on and onand it sounded like a woman.
I thought her mother, but wewere told later it was her
husband.
It took some time for them tocalm him down and have him exit
(46:42):
from the courtroom and then theydidn't want us to encounter him
in the hallway.
So we stayed put for about 15minutes.
With the buildup to this day andthe emotion we put into the
hearing, the wailing and herreaction, it was a lot to take
in, a lot to process.
When we were finally able toleave the courtroom, we first
(47:05):
had a quick debrief with theprosecutor.
She immediately looked at ourfaces and said you didn't put
her in jail.
The judge did.
Of course we both knew that.
Oh, but it was certainly a goodreminder.
We thanked her for all herefforts on our behalf.
(47:26):
We were both a littleshell-shocked.
Our advocate took us back tothe victim's office waiting room
and we filled out somepaperwork More paperwork,
there's always paperwork.
Bill and I returned to our hoteland changed into more casual
clothing.
We took a nap.
(47:46):
We were exhausted.
Then we got something to eatand went about our day.
The next morning we woke up andwe both just felt stunned.
It was still a lot to process.
I know we both should have beenhappy, but happy wasn't
(48:08):
necessarily the emotion that wefelt.
Of course, it wasn't ourdecision.
I had to keep reminding myselfthat it was the decision we had
been hoping for.
Yes, that she would beprotected from harming herself
and other people, but thatdidn't mean it was, overall, a
(48:29):
pleasant experience.
We could start to put it behindus, though, and that was a good
thing.
It had hung over our heads fora long time, and this was the
beginning of us moving on.
She served 12 months beforegoing on parole for a year.
(48:52):
We knew it would never be thefull 48 months a year.
We knew it would never be thefull 48 months.
We received some smallrestitution payments through the
system, and our attorney wasable to get all of our medical
bills settled and find a littlebit of money for us to keep.
It wasn't a lot, but it wassomething.
We would have gladly given allthe money back if we could have
(49:17):
just not experienced any of it.
I should say that back in 2017,when the mass shooting took
place across from Mandalay Bayin Las Vegas on October 1st not
even a month after our crash wefelt for all the victims and the
(49:38):
staff at UMC University MedicalCenter, where we had gone after
our crash.
The shooting took place soclose to our crash site it was
less than a mile.
It turned out that even one ofmy high school classmates lost
her niece that night.
She had been at the concertwith her sister.
(50:01):
On a subsequent trip to LasVegas, we visited the healing
garden that was created inmemory of the victims.
It's an emotional experience tosee the photos of the victims
and the memories left there byfamily and friends.
(50:28):
I said it before, but sincethese events, the words ring
truer to me than ever before.
Every day is a gift.
Since the crash, I recognizeits anniversary as something
like a gratitude day.
So grateful we survived.
It could have been so muchdifferent.
(50:49):
Every day is a gift.
Well, folks, that's all I'vegot for today.
That's the story of our drunkdriver crash.
Next week we'll visit a lightersubject.
It's time, right.
I hope you'll join me.
If you like this episode.
(51:12):
Please follow the Only ChildDiaries podcast on Apple
Podcasts or other platforms youmight listen on and consider
rating Only Child Diaries andwriting a review.
It helps others to find us.
Please share it with a friendyou think might like it as well.
Visit my Instagram page OnlyChild Diaries or Facebook Only
Child Diaries Podcast.
(51:33):
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallace and these arethe Only Child Diaries.
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