The Brochure on the Burden of Stuff

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Have you ever wondered what will happen to all your possessions when you're gone? After the recent loss of a friend, I found myself contemplating the mountain of stuff we accumulate throughout our lives and the burden it places on those left behind to sort through it all.

In this week's personal exploration, I introduce the concept of "Swedish Death Cleaning" – a practice with an unfortunate name but a compassionate purpose. While initially skeptical (and questioning the PR choices behind the name), I've come to appreciate the thoughtfulness behind gradually decluttering your possessions while you're still alive. Having experienced the challenges of sorting through my parents' belongings after their passing, I understand firsthand how overwhelming this process can be during a time of grief.

The conversation takes a particularly poignant turn as I reflect on my position as an only child without children. Who will handle my estate? Who will be burdened with deciding what happens to my collection of Snoopy Christmas ornaments, books, and other treasured possessions? This unique perspective highlights why mindful consumption matters – not just for our current living space, but for those who will eventually handle our affairs. 

Between my adventures with a new Roomba (which seems determined to create more chaos than cleanliness) and contemplating mortality, this episode offers both light moments and deeper reflections on life, legacy, and the stuff we leave behind.

Follow the Only Child Diaries podcast on your favorite platform and join our community on Instagram and Facebook. Your reviews help others find us, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you're handling your own "stuff" dilemmas. How would you approach Swedish Death Cleaning? Who would you trust with your possessions? Let's continue this conversation together.

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Episode Transcript

Tracy (00:00):
My first reaction when I heard this term and it was just
this past week, I think my firstreaction was whoever came up
with this name needs to do alittle bit better PR on it and
they need to come up with abetter name.
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.

(00:22):
I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life?
Welcome to the Only ChildDiaries podcast.
I'm your host, tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life, that youdidn't get enough guidance about
major life issues?
So did I.
You don't have to be an onlychild to feel this way.
In my podcast, we'll exploresome of the best ways to better

(00:44):
navigate adulting, while doingso with humor and light.
Welcome everyone to the OnlyChild Diaries podcast.

(01:10):
Today, I'm going to talk aboutstuff, literally stuff.
Do you have a lot of stuff?
Because I feel like I have alot of stuff.
This is kind of an ongoingdiscussion in my head or ongoing
theme in my thoughts rathermaybe that's the right word, I
don't know With the recentpassing of my friend Neliya, or
my friend's mother, however youwant to look at it, but she was

(01:33):
my friend, even thoughoriginally she was my friend's
mother.
To me that was three weeks agothat she passed.
Certain challenges have come tolight, and one of those
challenges is what to do withall of her stuff.
Now, I can relate to this, ascan anyone who's lost a parent

(01:59):
or parents, or anyone reallythat has left a household behind
.
And that is that.
What do you do with all thestuff?
Because no matter who you are,you leave your stuff right.
So the challenge is, especiallyif you are going to sell the

(02:21):
house or the property where theperson lived, what are you going
to do with all the stuff?
Right?
Some of it might be valuable,some of it might be art, or
maybe it's sentimental, and, inlight of the recent loss that

(02:44):
you've suffered, going throughthe stuff is challenging.
I originally thought that thiswas something that I was
suffering with because I lost myparents.
Right, I lost my dad and then,several years later, I lost my

(03:06):
mom, but they both lost theirparents Previously.
My mom was 90 something, my dadwas 86.
So they did lose their parentsbefore that.
And we have in the house, wehave, some of my grandparents
possessions not very many, butwe do have one or two pieces of

(03:27):
their furniture and some itemsthat were theirs.
When she passed her daughters,bill's sisters went through her

(03:52):
possessions and divvied up whatwas left her clothing, some of
her memorabilia and sent us someof the things that she had,
also the saddle that I hadgifted her that she was using
when she took up riding.
I had a saddle that I wasn'tusing anymore, and so we sent it

(04:13):
over to her, over to Florida.
Mailing a saddle is no easyfeat, so they sent it back.
So we have several boxes ofEllie's things and what to do
with that.
Right, it's not something thatyou necessarily want to get rid
of, but it's not something thatyou're necessarily also going to

(04:34):
use.
So that's the challenge, right?
Okay, in the process of helpingmy friend deal with the loss of
her mother, this concept hasbecome known to me and it's
called and maybe you've heardabout it, but it's called

(04:56):
Swedish death cleaning.
That's right, swedish deathcleaning.
And what it really means isthat, while you're still alive,
you should go through yourthings and try to pare down what
you have so that when youexpire, you're leaving less of a

(05:18):
footprint and less of a burdento those who are going to take
care of what's left behind rightNow.
My first reaction when I heardthis term and it was just this
past week, I think my firstreaction was whoever came up

(05:42):
with this name needs to do alittle bit better PR on it and
they need to come up with abetter name.
Because death cleaning I mean,I get it.
It's kind of a good descriptionof the process, like you're
cleaning well, you're cleaningfor your death.

(06:02):
No, you're cleaning for yourpost-death Well, no, that
doesn't seem right either, butit's okay.
So maybe it's a translationissue, I'm not sure, but Swedish
, death cleaning.
I think they could have come upwith something better.

(06:23):
I'm not sure what that would be, but yeah, I wouldn't be all
for that.
Now, the concept isn't new.
I have some friends who aremaybe about my age, maybe
they're a little older, maybethey're a little younger, who
have, you know, actively triedto lighten their load in this

(06:48):
regard, knowing that somedaythey will pass and they don't
want to be a burden or they wantto lessen the burden of their
children or whoever is going tosettle their estate.
Right, and I get that, I reallydo.

(07:08):
I really get that.
As I look around at my stuff,our stuff.
You start to really wonder didI really need that Snoopy
Christmas ornament?
I mean, yeah, I really enjoySnoopy and it gives me a lot of

(07:29):
pleasure, but did I really needanother Snoopy Christmas
ornament?
Or the books or the clothes orshoes?
Well, I go through shoes.
A lot I go through.
Yeah, I go through shoes.
So, yeah, swedish deathcleaning.

(07:54):
Look it up, it's a thing, it'sa thing.
Anyway, these are some of thechallenges, especially if you're
an only child, or especially ifyou're an only child who
doesn't have children, like me.
Who's going to take care of mystuff?
I still haven't quite figuredthis part out.

(08:17):
I haven't picked anyone.
Ooh, lucky them, right.
And not having children.
It's kind of a challengingprocess to come up with someone,
to name someone as my executor.
I don't know who would be thebest person who would want to do

(08:42):
it.
It's a burden, it is, it's aburden.
So it does take some thought.
Not that I haven't thoughtabout it for the last five years
or so, since my mom died and Iwas her executor, and then you
pass the baton to someone else,right?
Not that I couldn't have diedbefore she did Luckily I didn't,

(09:04):
but anyway, that's where thatis so Swedish death cleaning.
I don't know they don't have apackage for that at Ikea, the
Swedish death cleaning kit,swedish death cleaning kit.

(09:28):
Anyway, I digress, but it'ssomething that's been on my mind
this week, so I feel like Ishould go clean.
I did get a Roomba, which is oneof those.
They call it a robot, it's avacuum that goes along the floor
.
Call it a robot, it's a vacuumthat goes along the floor.
And we, we tried it out.

(09:48):
I tried it out the other daybecause this week I had to take
Bubby, our cat, to the ER.
He wasn't feeling good when, uh, one day and I had to take him.
So he he's been kind ofconvalescing, he's been getting
special treatment and I got theRoomba, I think, the same day,
no, the next day, and I didn'twant to freak him out with this

(10:11):
thing that moved on its own,made a little bit of noise.
I tried it the other day.
He was actually fascinated byit.
He was like, wow, what's itdoing?
Where's it going?
But it's a little bit morechallenging than I thought it
was going to be, because youhave to it, doesn't?
You don't just, you know, putit on the ground and say go and

(10:36):
it cleans, at first it has tomap out the rooms At first.
It has to map out the rooms,map out the house.
So it kind of goes around and Iguess while it's going it does
move that brush underneath so itwas sucking.
There was like an errant napkinthat was under his water bowl

(10:58):
that it's tried to suck up, andthen it got stuck and then it
knocked over the water and youknow.
So lesson learned when it saysmove the things in anticipation
of the robot mapping the roomright.
But um, it did.
It did kind of vacuum up somethings, which I could kind of

(11:22):
see down the line that this wasgoing to be a good thing,
because I have a cordless stickvacuum.
We have hardwood floors andstuff has gotten stuck in it and
it doesn't really vacuumanymore.
I also got a steam mop becausemy little bubby's asthmatic and

(11:46):
I try to clean the floors, topick up the pollen and whatnot.
But this thing.
And then it'll talk to you andit'll say returning to home,
this thing.
And then it'll talk to you andit'll say returning to home, oh,
returning to base.
But then it doesn't return tobase.

(12:11):
So I'm sure it's user error,that's me, but we're trying to
work out a few kinks.
But I think if I can get it tothe point where it just goes and
cleans on its own, that's areally good thing, because I
feel like pet hair, dust, pollenfrom the outside, things from
the outside.
I need help and it could be agood thing.

(12:37):
We'll see.
Oh, and then it goes back tothe base and then it
automatically supposedly itautomatically takes what it
picked up and it transfers itinto the base, into a bag, I
mean.
So the idea is pretty nifty.
We'll see if we'll see if thisworks.
I still haven't gotten rid ofthe box because I don't.

(12:58):
I guess I don't fully trustthat this is going to work, but
and it would be one more thingthat someone would have to get
rid of after I pass away.
But anyway, that's, I digress.
I'm going to go try to finishmapping out the house.
I might split it into sections,because you could do that, and

(13:23):
it also mops, but I think fornow that's too complicated for
me, so I'll let you know.
Next week we're going to tackleanother topic together.
I hope you'll join me.
If you like this episode,please follow the Only Child

(13:44):
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might listen on and considerrating Only Child Diaries and
writing a review.
It helps others to find us.
Please share it with a friendyou think might like it as well.
Visit my Instagram page OnlyChild Diaries or Facebook Only

(14:06):
Child Diaries Podcast.
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallace and these arethe Only Child Diaries.