The OptimalWork Podcast

#259: What’s the best way to prevent distractions? Are prevention techniques — like website blockers — effective? In this episode, we discuss different strategies aimed at behavior change. We argue that the source of the most sustainable behavior change is to build self-mastery through right action. By doing this, you’ll be laying the foundations for new predictions by your brain. Over time, it will come along and be no longer a so...

#258: Reframing is a practice that developed from cognitive behavioral therapy. It means discovering the opportunity present within a challenge. If you face a challenge that causes anxiety, distraction, or burnout, reframing can help you approach it more effectively. But reframing can do more. It will also help you harmonize the different parts of your life so everything is working in the same direction: toward your highest ideals.

...

#257: At the heart of our approach is the practice of a Golden Hour: preparing your mind for a time of work, focusing on one thing, and setting a stop time in advance. Doing a Golden Hour brings the key practices of psychology into your hour of work, so you not only do your best work, but you also practice bringing your highest ideals into your actions, which is the entire goal of OptimalWork. In this episode, we discuss the genesi...

#256: Shame is the emotion we feel when we fear that our failures or weaknesses will become known. This fear can lead us to pursue certain outcomes as defenses — money, success, prestige, etc. — or to shy away from challenges that will expose us. In this episode, we discuss how to experience and accept shame, and why doing so gives us a profound freedom and unlocks the most meaningful forms of growth.

Find more at https://Optim...

#255: When people experience cognitive dissonance — that is, a clash between one’s self-concept and reality — they will tend to favor their self-concept, and can rationalize this bias in a process of self-justification. This process can thwart meaningful personal growth. In this episode, we discuss self-justification, how to identify it and how to overcome it — and a clever way to use it to develop deeper bonds.

Find more at htt...

#254: It’s a widespread belief that when experiencing negative emotions like anger or frustration, it’s helpful to vent them. In fact, this practice is counterproductive. Studies indicate that when people express negative emotions in this way, far from letting them out, they in fact get more of them. This result is confirmed by a consideration of the neuroscience of perception and appraisal. In this episode, we discuss the origin o...

#252: Procrastination is something of a mystery. Its costs — decreased quality of work, fraying of bonds with others, increased negative emotions like stress, even negative health effects — are universally acknowledged. Yet procrastination persists — or, put precisely, people persist in procrastinating. In this episode, we discuss the primary cause of procrastination (a reluctance to experience negative emotions like stress or relu...

#251: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Majeres continue their discussion of Optimal Parenting with another set of questions. They begin with the importance of connection during child meltdowns and the balance between emotional regulation and moral teaching. The final question sparks a long discussion of the importance of rituals in helping parents build family culture and pass on their beliefs and values. The conversation highlights...

#250: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Kevin Majeres field questions about parenting based on the previous episodes in the series. They address common concerns from parents, including how to rectify past mistakes, manage anxiety in children, and foster connections in large families. The conversation emphasizes that it's never too late to improve parenting practices and that modeling change can positively influence children. T...

#249: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Kevin Majeres focus on the essential role of discipline in effective parenting. They discuss the challenges parents face in setting and enforcing limits, and the importance of establishing clear expectations and consistent routines. The conversation highlights how discipline, when rooted in connection and guided by positive reinforcement, helps children develop self-control and responsib...

#248: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Majeres discuss the third quality of Optimal Parenting: consistency. Regular routines, standards, and ideals—applied consistently—foster children's intrinsic motivation and emotional stability. The conversation also highlights the benefits of challenges and discomfort in family life, the role of best practices, and the impact of nutrition, sleep, and screen time on child development....

#247: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the second principle of Optimal Parenting: fostering and conveying confidence in your child’s ability to grow and thrive on challenge. They discuss the importance of skills and ideals, and practical strategies for parents, starting with real-life scenarios. The conversation highlights actionable takeaways for parents to implement in their daily interactions with their c...

#246: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres do a deep dive into the first principle of Optimal Parenting: the power of connection during challenging moments for children. They discuss the dynamics of dynorphin surges and how parents can help children navigate these emotional storms through bonding and validation. The conversation emphasizes the balance between being overly sensitive (enmeshed) and being too detached, advoca...

#245: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the topic of parenting, introducing the three key principles of Optimal Parenting: connection, confidence, and consistency. They begin with some background neuroscience to explain why parents are essential in the first place—offering a contrast to approaches like gentle parenting or the view presented in the recent book The Sovereign Child. Upcoming episodes will dive deep...

#244: This episode continues our discussion of Alfie Kohn’s “Punished by Rewards.” Kohn believes that a person’s motivation (especially a child’s) starts out pure but gets corrupted by rewards and praise. Here we explore the possibility that intrinsic motivation is actually something that develops over time, and thus behavioralist psychology, rather than destroying intrinsic motivation, in fact opens up a path to it.

Find more a...

#243: In this episode, we explore the radical claims made by Alfie Kohn in his 1993 book Punished by Rewards. Kohn, an expert in education and psychology, argues against the use of rewards to incentivize behavior. For Kohn, such incentives cause people to lose intrinsic motivation: for instance, kids get motivated by grades, not learning; employees get motivated by money, not creativity and service.

Find more at https://OptimalWork...

#242: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the nature of addiction. They begin by exploring its development, showing how addiction often starts as a pursuit of pleasure but can evolve into a compulsive behavior that undermines personal ideals and freedom. The conversation focuses on the neuroscience of addiction, highlighting the role of the brain's dorsal striatum in compulsive behaviors. Dr. Majeres explains ...

#241: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the Seven Deadly Sins from a psychological perspective, exploring how these vices can be viewed as habits or addictions that violate personal ideals. They discuss the nature of addiction, the role of cravings, and the importance of understanding the triggers behind addictive behaviors. The conversation emphasizes the significance of mindfulness, acceptance, and practical s...