The OptimalWork Podcast

#245: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the topic of parenting, introducing the three key principles of Optimal Parenting: connection, confidence, and consistency. They begin with some background neuroscience to explain why parents are essential in the first place—offering a contrast to approaches like gentle parenting or the view presented in the recent book The Sovereign Child. Upcoming episodes will dive deep...

#244: This episode continues our discussion of Alfie Kohn’s “Punished by Rewards.” Kohn believes that a person’s motivation (especially a child’s) starts out pure but gets corrupted by rewards and praise. Here we explore the possibility that intrinsic motivation is actually something that develops over time, and thus behavioralist psychology, rather than destroying intrinsic motivation, in fact opens up a path to it.

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#243: In this episode, we explore the radical claims made by Alfie Kohn in his 1993 book Punished by Rewards. Kohn, an expert in education and psychology, argues against the use of rewards to incentivize behavior. For Kohn, such incentives cause people to lose intrinsic motivation: for instance, kids get motivated by grades, not learning; employees get motivated by money, not creativity and service.

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#242: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the nature of addiction. They begin by exploring its development, showing how addiction often starts as a pursuit of pleasure but can evolve into a compulsive behavior that undermines personal ideals and freedom. The conversation focuses on the neuroscience of addiction, highlighting the role of the brain's dorsal striatum in compulsive behaviors. Dr. Majeres explains ...

#241: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the Seven Deadly Sins from a psychological perspective, exploring how these vices can be viewed as habits or addictions that violate personal ideals. They discuss the nature of addiction, the role of cravings, and the importance of understanding the triggers behind addictive behaviors. The conversation emphasizes the significance of mindfulness, acceptance, and practical s...

#240: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the concept of dynorphins and their role in personal growth, looking at a variety of cases. They discuss how dynorphins can affect behaviors such as perfectionism, procrastination, and workaholism, emphasizing the importance of embracing pain to foster growth. The conversation also touches on emotional responses, the challenges of insomnia, and the significance of validati...

#239: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the concept of dynorphins and their role in human suffering and growth. They discuss how dynorphins are linked to discomfort and the importance of embracing this discomfort for personal development. The conversation explores the functions of the amygdala in emotional responses, the relationship between dopamine and dynorphins, and the significance of order and intensity...

#238: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the concept of dynorphins and their crucial role in emotional growth and personal development. They discuss the importance of embracing discomfort and unwillingness as pathways to growth, drawing on insights from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The conversation highlights how dynorphins influence our emotional responses and coping mechanisms, and how understanding...

#235: When you experience anything — tiredness, pain, distractions — you’re engaging not just reality, but also your brain’s predictions. This insight has profound consequences for how you should engage challenges like tiredness, and for the types of beliefs you should have about yourself. In this episode, we discuss how to interpret and respond to your experiences and your brain’s predictions.

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#234: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the complexities of generosity, distinguishing between true and false forms. They explore the barriers that prevent individuals from being generous, such as fear of exploitation and loss of personal boundaries. The conversation emphasizes the importance of trust in relationships and how generosity can enhance personal growth and strengthen bonds. They also discuss the need...

#232: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the concept of generosity, exploring its foundational role in personal growth and relationships. They discuss how generosity is intertwined with humility, the importance of serving others, and how it can transform our lives and the lives of those around us. The conversation also touches on the balance between generosity and prudence, the development of generosity as a habi...

#231: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the significance of home life and how it shapes our relationships and personal growth. They explore the concept of a 'thoughtful home' as presented in Dia Boyle's book, emphasizing the importance of attention, care, and challenge within the family dynamic. The conversation covers practical strategies for fostering a nurturing environment, the role of family mea...

#227: Dr. John Gottman identifies four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and, ultimately, contempt. Each of these behaviors points to a deeper issue — a lack of humility. In this episode, we explore a fundamental attitude that can help you heal and strengthen bonds by addressing all four forms of relational breakdown. The key? Approaching challenges with a childlike spirit. This pers...