The OptimalWork Podcast

#266: Overcoming anxiety occurs in three successive stages. In this first installment of a three episode series, we discuss stage one: confronting the trigger of anxiety head-on, embracing the fear. Over time, the trigger will habituate; as you challenge yourself, the fear you experience will gradually diminish. You can then develop a sense of daring, which is the beginning of the second stage, the topic of next week’s episode.

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#265: When a child does something wrong, your first instinct may be justice: to punish them. In this episode, we discuss “No-Drama Discipline,” by Daniel Siegal and Tina Bryson, exploring how to discipline children in a way that builds your bond with them and promotes their moral development. By connecting with your child, helping him or her gain insight into what went wrong, and look for ways to repair and reintegrate, discipline ...

#264: Difficult situations can feel intolerable. That intolerable feeling is produced by dynorphins and it makes us want to give up and abandon the difficulty we’re facing, whether it’s exercise, a difficult task, time in the sauna, or some small annoyance. But the more we embrace the dynorphin effect — the intolerable feeling — the more we develop a kind of inner strength. And, paradoxically, we end up unleashing a subsequent wave...

#262: Mindfulness lies at the heart of OptimalWork’s approach. Living your highest ideals means being fully present, fully engaged with reality. Cultivating this habit is the work of mindfulness. But mindfulness rests on a set of apparent contradictions. Foremost among them is this: while mindfulness involves accepting reality as it is, it is often used as a way of achieving personal or behavioral change. In this episode, we discus...

#261: The two fundamental ways you can relate to challenge are approach and avoidance. Typically, approach leads to a virtuous cycle: the challenge gets easier and more enjoyable over time as you grow in mastery. Avoidance, on the other hand, often leads to a vicious cycle of increasing difficulty and pain. In this episode we further break down approach into three levels — tolerating, accepting, and loving the challenge — to show h...

#259: What’s the best way to prevent distractions? Are prevention techniques — like website blockers — effective? In this episode, we discuss different strategies aimed at behavior change. We argue that the source of the most sustainable behavior change is to build self-mastery through right action. By doing this, you’ll be laying the foundations for new predictions by your brain. Over time, it will come along and be no longer a so...

#258: Reframing is a practice that developed from cognitive behavioral therapy. It means discovering the opportunity present within a challenge. If you face a challenge that causes anxiety, distraction, or burnout, reframing can help you approach it more effectively. But reframing can do more. It will also help you harmonize the different parts of your life so everything is working in the same direction: toward your highest ideals.

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#257: At the heart of our approach is the practice of a Golden Hour: preparing your mind for a time of work, focusing on one thing, and setting a stop time in advance. Doing a Golden Hour brings the key practices of psychology into your hour of work, so you not only do your best work, but you also practice bringing your highest ideals into your actions, which is the entire goal of OptimalWork. In this episode, we discuss the genesi...

#256: Shame is the emotion we feel when we fear that our failures or weaknesses will become known. This fear can lead us to pursue certain outcomes as defenses — money, success, prestige, etc. — or to shy away from challenges that will expose us. In this episode, we discuss how to experience and accept shame, and why doing so gives us a profound freedom and unlocks the most meaningful forms of growth.

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#255: When people experience cognitive dissonance — that is, a clash between one’s self-concept and reality — they will tend to favor their self-concept, and can rationalize this bias in a process of self-justification. This process can thwart meaningful personal growth. In this episode, we discuss self-justification, how to identify it and how to overcome it — and a clever way to use it to develop deeper bonds.

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#254: It’s a widespread belief that when experiencing negative emotions like anger or frustration, it’s helpful to vent them. In fact, this practice is counterproductive. Studies indicate that when people express negative emotions in this way, far from letting them out, they in fact get more of them. This result is confirmed by a consideration of the neuroscience of perception and appraisal. In this episode, we discuss the origin o...

#252: Procrastination is something of a mystery. Its costs — decreased quality of work, fraying of bonds with others, increased negative emotions like stress, even negative health effects — are universally acknowledged. Yet procrastination persists — or, put precisely, people persist in procrastinating. In this episode, we discuss the primary cause of procrastination (a reluctance to experience negative emotions like stress or relu...

#251: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Majeres continue their discussion of Optimal Parenting with another set of questions. They begin with the importance of connection during child meltdowns and the balance between emotional regulation and moral teaching. The final question sparks a long discussion of the importance of rituals in helping parents build family culture and pass on their beliefs and values. The conversation highlights...

#250: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Kevin Majeres field questions about parenting based on the previous episodes in the series. They address common concerns from parents, including how to rectify past mistakes, manage anxiety in children, and foster connections in large families. The conversation emphasizes that it's never too late to improve parenting practices and that modeling change can positively influence children. T...

#249: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Kevin Majeres focus on the essential role of discipline in effective parenting. They discuss the challenges parents face in setting and enforcing limits, and the importance of establishing clear expectations and consistent routines. The conversation highlights how discipline, when rooted in connection and guided by positive reinforcement, helps children develop self-control and responsib...

#248: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Majeres discuss the third quality of Optimal Parenting: consistency. Regular routines, standards, and ideals—applied consistently—foster children's intrinsic motivation and emotional stability. The conversation also highlights the benefits of challenges and discomfort in family life, the role of best practices, and the impact of nutrition, sleep, and screen time on child development....