June 17, 2024 • 44 mins
Ever wondered what life is really like behind the bars of a "fancy" prison? Strap in for a hilarious and revealing episode as Gustavo and I share stories that range from beard debates to the realities of federal incarceration. Along the way, we break down myths about so-called luxurious prisons and offer a firsthand account of the strict rules and harsh conditions that define life in a federal camp. Plus, hear our thoughts on Hunter Biden's recent conviction, and get a sneak peek at an exclusive interview that promises to delve into his state of mind post-verdict.
But that's not all—this episode is packed with laughter and life lessons. We tackle the awkwardness of full physical exams, including a prostate check that left me reflecting on the LGBTQ+ experience. Gustavo shares his struggles with car repairs following an accident, and we both chuckle over listener feedback about our beards. As we navigate these personal anecdotes, we also touch on the more serious topic of drug addiction, morphine's allure, and the role of family responsibilities in shaping our choices.
We wrap up with a lively chat about improving our podcast's audio quality, with some funny moments around squeaky chairs and old microphones. Plus, we give a shout-out to our growing international audience and share some useful tips on using the Nextdoor app for neighborhood pet care. However, things take an unexpected and crude turn when we circle back to Hunter Biden, ensuring that this episode is a rollercoaster of humor, personal stories, and insightful reflections you won't want to miss.
Subscribe to 'The Original Canceled Radio Guys' . Go to https://www.ChrisandCostello.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Thank you, hey everybody, this is Chris hey
this is, gustavo, how you doing.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Chris, have you left any more cars?
It's good we can go.
Thanks, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I haven't driven much since the accident.
I've been saying that my leftarm is sticking to kill me, but
it's getting better.
My car is better.
My car has been fixed, which isgood.
The mechanical damage has beenfixed.
The body damage won't be tillJuly, windshield won't be till
July and by then hopefully we'llbe back the way it used to be,
the way we were.
(01:12):
We were so close together.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I tell you what this smile is brought to you by.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, they cracked my teeth on that, which is good,
so I'm going to do a quickupdate.
It's really funny because wegot an email this week from a
guy who didn't like us talkingabout beards.
I don't know what the hell wesaid that was bad about beards,
but I was just saying I grewmine out, I let it do its
natural color, which has turnedlike white.
Yeah, it was okay.
So I'm trying some salt andpepper.
I like this way better.
If I told you my town's view isto not shave and see what you
(01:46):
got.
Look at you, look at me.
You've got your white whiskerspopping up everywhere.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
It's a little bit, but it's just white.
There are some ginger ones inthere.
What ones, hmm?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Ginger ones, ginger ones, red ones.
Yeah, oh, ginger, I thoughtmaybe some lively ones.
I wonder if ginger was.
Ginger is red Okay.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, yeah, like a redhead, Like a redhead, it must
be a British thing.
I don't know.
What do you think?
Should I keep it?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I think it looks really good.
I think it looks good Okay.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Well, this, of course , is for our listeners who have
video, so your viewers, and forthis, of course, is for our
listeners who have video, soyour viewers and for our
listeners, yes, we both havebeards.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
If you don't have video, just guess and try to
figure it out, okay?
And to the guy who didn't likeus talking about beards, that's
it.
It's just a beard update.
It's harmless, okay.
Look at Kansai.
He looks at least three monthsyounger by having that beard.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I tell you what, if I can do this without screwing
everything up?
I was going to find the actualemail.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh, we'll get to that .
Okay, we've got time for that.
I've got to tell you what didhappen.
I'm due.
It's been a while.
I don't know if you get theseor not, because you had your
thing.
They make you do it every year.
I had to do my big, full, fullphysical yesterday.
This is the kind where you gotto stand there, just start naked
, where the doctor flicks yourballs, you know, yanks in your
(03:11):
wonker, and then he does themost dreadful thing of all to
check your prostate.
You hear the glove snap, ohnothing.
He moves up the finger, up thefinger, goes up the Willy Wonka
Chalk Factory and then turn tothe left, turn to the right,
rotates us around and pulls itout and you know what?
Afterwards we had a cigarettetogether and I think about
(03:32):
taking him to dinner.
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Well, only if he sniffed it, oh God.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
What can you get on that day?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
That's a mere nothing .
Speaker 2 (03:45):
That's just a bad visual.
You know I was facing Ford, hewas behind me, so he may have.
So I don't know, I hope not,but man, I hate that thing.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
It's not a very pleasant feeling, I grant you.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I don't know, I mean just thought it out there, you
okay, yeah, how do the gay guyshandle that.
I'm sorry.
I mean, you know, give me abreak.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Well, that's a whole different thing.
So I understand and I don'treally know.
Oh, you don't, I have never.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You're feeding a little ginger.
That's true Ginger beer.
I don't have an answer for thatI just mean only the closest I
know is like doing that prostateand I'll say this I was with
some women once who thought thatit would be a turn on for a guy
for them to figure out.
You know.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Yeah, it's great until they grow fingernails.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, I get cuts on the inside.
I'm just going.
First time one did that, I wentokay, and the reason for this
is they go.
We're supposed to make you evenmore harder and more enhanced.
I'm going hmm, you know that'snot working.
You can remove it anytime youwant.
(05:05):
She goes.
I'm trying to, but yoursphincter is getting so tight
and my finger is stuck in thereright now.
I'm going.
So she's going relax, relaxyour butt muscles.
I get my finger out.
I'm going.
Okay, she's going.
It's still not relaxed.
I can't get my finger out.
Now she's starting to panic,okay, hey, we're going to meet
(05:28):
my parents in five minutes.
Let me tell you guess what?
She never did that again.
Good, no one's done that untilmy physical yesterday.
It just made me think that Ihave a lot of friends who are
gay, so I have to ask them I go,how does that feel?
I got them.
Well, you pick your friendlyneighborhood gay guy and ask him
(05:50):
if he's into it.
We're doing a Kristen Costellosurvey.
What does that feel like upyour butt?
Well, you're going to lose afriend right there, I think
right.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I think you'd lose respect.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, I don't think I'd go there.
The thing was I was asking I go, I go why You're bugging me to
have one of these things likeonce a year, once every two
years.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Let me ask you this yes, you haven't had a
colonoscopy yet.
You must have done.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Oh heck, yeah, man.
You know, because of my cancerI had a colonoscopy every six
months for five years.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
OK, well, what's the big deal about a finger?
I'm not awake, oh I was awakenever had a colonoscopy they put
you under.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
You're not awake.
You wake up and you're layingdown a pile of shit and they go
okay, clean yourself up, you cango now.
I'm just going look at the messyou left behind, you know you
made it.
Yeah, this is, this is.
This is ass month for me,because it's been five years
since my last colonoscopy Basedon my cancer history.
I had to have anothercolonoscopy in July.
(06:48):
So, once again, I'll start toget loose back there, since
everyone's going up there, okay.
So, I'm not going to be tightanymore.
Can I ask will you stopcrawling up my ass please?
So that'll be my last name fora while.
So don't ask me to turn outgrand, no, it will.
My blood work is great.
(07:09):
They deem me 100 very healthy,and but they just, I told myself
, you guys asking for all thisstuff, you're starting to make
me feel old, you know, and itgets into your, it gets into
your head.
So one guy handles old, who?
Just one of my all-time heroes,rodney Dangerfield.
You two are talking about old.
Let's listen.
This is how you handle oldstuff, right here.
(07:29):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 6 (07:31):
This is it I tell you I can't relax.
My kid drives me nuts.
The other day I told him.
I said you're young, you don'thave it upstairs.
He told me I'm old, I don'thave in bed.
She said again I'm getting old,I'm not a kid anymore.
I know I'm getting old.
In Vegas I played a slotmachine.
Three prunes came up.
(07:53):
I know I'm getting old, I'm atthe age.
Now if I hear someone goes bothways, I figure it's number one
or number two.
I'm not a kid, I'm getting old,johnny, I'm getting a kid.
I'm getting older, johnny, I'mgetting older.
You kidding, I took a vacationwith the Mexico.
I got the walks.
I can't get girls anymore.
You kidding, now, at my age,you become a hooky.
No, you kidding my age.
(08:18):
To me the daily double is prunejuice and an enema.
My last birthday cake.
I couldn't blow out the candles.
The heat drove me back.
I tell you I can't relax.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
My kid drives me nuts .
No one handles old like danger.
I love that one, the referenceto Vegas.
Hey, pulled the slot machineand three prunes came up.
Three crows the Denny Doublewas an enema and some prune
juice.
Hey, hey.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Didn't hear about his doctor, dr Billy Pompah.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, he's great.
I started ranting off the oldstory.
I just said, oh, that's justlike what I went through the
other day at the physical.
We had to play that.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Rest in peace, rodney .
Rest in peace.
Love you, rodney.
You're classic, him and GeorgeCarlin man on the strip back in
the day, that's when we hadentertainment.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
It's amazing what George Carlin turned into.
I don't know if you remember ornot, and maybe you don't.
When he used to appear on theEd Sullivan show, he'd come out
in a suit and tie with slickback hair.
He's doing that thing with thehippie dippy weatherman
(09:32):
Tonight's forecast dark,tomorrow's forecast light.
That's what he used to do.
Then he evolved into thismaster of the language and words
and became a hippie dippyweatherman with the long hair.
It was funny how he started andwhat he became, and you know
what?
Speaker 3 (09:48):
What he says now, or rather what he said then, is
happening now, because you knowhe got into the political thing.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah yeah, if you look at some of his old stuff,
you're going man spot on it.
You know exactly.
I wish he'd have lived longenough to deal with Trump.
That would have been fun tohear what he had to say.
Can you imagine?
Yeah, I'd like to.
Yeah, we've got to think alittle bit of politics, okay?
Oh yeah, Since Hunter Biden hasbeen found guilty and he's now
(10:16):
a felon, so my thought is okay.
The other side, the Trump side,the Trump side, the asshole side
can't keep going.
The justice system is rigged.
It, the other side, the Trumpside, the Trump side, the
asshole side can't keep going.
The justice system is rigged.
It's biting.
All against me, they're allagainst me, it's all rigged.
Well, how's that for rigged?
His own son is now a convictedfelon.
He made it very clear he'sdoing the right thing.
I'm not going to intervene.
(10:36):
I'm not going to commute asentence.
I'm not going to pardon him.
What he gets, that's just theway it is.
Even though he's a dad, it'sgot to be very hurtful.
The Trump, as you noticed, hasbeen real quiet about this thing
because he's going oh crap, howam I going to use this thing
anymore about it being riggedagainst me now, when all that
happened to him he's not evendone yet he's got another court
(10:58):
date in LA about income taxevasion, which is the one that
could actually really, reallyfor sure, send you to prison.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
That's the one we really need to watch, isn't?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
it.
Have you heard Trump sayanything since the 100th?
That's not a damn thing, right.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Not much A little bit on the internet and a little
bit on my computer.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
What can you say?
It's rigged against him becausewell, hey, asshole, there's
proof that it is not riggedagainst you.
Okay, it's actually going to bemore harmful to him than it
probably is for you, becauseputting an ex-president in jail
is going to be very difficult.
So I'm just such a big fan ofthe home confinement so I don't
think Hunter is going to prisonover this one, but I think if
(11:39):
he's found guilty of the taxevasion, it's kind of hard not
to avoid jail time on that one.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
So we'll see what happens.
He'll go to one of those fancyprisons, but it won't be hard
time, will it?
I?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
mean I'd say go to federal camp, maybe so.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, yeah, I mean no , they'll just stick him in a
camp, like they do with all theCEOs and everybody.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
That's where they Well you know, lest you forget.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I've been to camp it ain't no freaking picnic.
I keep on thinking this okay,all right, been to camp it makes
me sound like.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
oh, we're laying around in the sun all day, we're
playing pickleball and makingcroquet blankets and eating
steak and lobster.
Wrong, oh, it's not.
No, the only thing differentabout camp is there are no
fences.
Ok, so you're trusted if you,if you even think about walking
out the boundary, that of courseyou get on the big slammer and
(12:32):
you have years added on yoursentence.
Why would you do that?
So it's you start to be lockedup certain time.
Every night they lock you in,like at 9 pm.
You sleep in a shitty bunk witha flat mattress.
You know you had to eat thecrappy food, you know, and you
had to work a job while you'rethere.
So tell me what picnic you?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
can't.
Well, I don't think it'd be asbad as being shot in a little
like six-by-six with Bubba.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Well, if you did something to deserve that, hey.
But you know I had my job Iapplied for because I was only
the only person there, I guess,who had a, a current driver's
license, less best have beenthere for so long.
Their license had expired,right.
So I was a driver.
So every morning I'd get up andI would drive, uh, certain
other inmates to the hospital orto you know, using medical
appointments and stuff, and comeback and pick him up a certain
(13:23):
certain time.
Sometimes I would cheat, youhave to go to the hospital.
I would go the opposite way,way from the back to the camp.
I'd push a little bit, drivedown the road a little bit,
going freedom, and then comeback If I got caught going the
wrong way.
It's like, you know, you startto stretch and cheat a little
bit.
But I was the driver.
So that was my job, reallytough job, and I drove that's
(13:43):
what they had not an electriccar, it was an all.
It was a natural gas car.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Oh, yeah, yeah, propane.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah, how safe did I feel driving that damn thing.
You know, one match boom.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Well, same with a gasoline car.
In fact you're probably saferbecause you've got valves and a
much thicker I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
That's the only time I've been around any natural gas
car.
You know what it's like.
You think an electric car isquiet.
That sucker made not a hum.
I mean nothing.
You know Really.
I had to go to the little gasstation there and fill it up and
you just stick that thing.
It's like you're filling upyour tank at home.
It's just quiet until you capit off.
That's about all you hear.
(14:25):
But when you drive it it's justnothing.
It's like am I hitting the gas?
Is anything moving?
And all of a sudden it lurchesahead.
It doesn't go as fast as anelectric car, but I guess they
haven't caught on.
I've never heard or seenanything about them since then.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Well, I mean, all the forklifts are driven by propane
.
Anything that has to go insideand have a motor has propane,
all those things.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
So you haven't liked me.
I had no idea that.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Well, there you go, there you go.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
It's the Costello fact of the day.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Well, propane it is, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Forklifts on propane indoors are driven by natural
gas.
I had no idea.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
That's right.
Anything that is not electric,it's going to be propane.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I thought they were electric.
It makes sense.
You can't have carbon monoxidecrap going on on the inside
there.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I'll tell you what, and now we're going to stop for
a brief moment.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Unless you're sniffing it.
Go back to Hunter Biden.
He's guilty.
He's a felon.
I was shocked over his wife.
I'm going god damn it.
Well, look what money will buy.
I mean, he's a.
He's an online sex pervert.
He's a drug addict for years.
He's making millions living offdad's name.
Not saying he's doing anyillegal in that sense, we just
(15:37):
just mention the name.
I'll give him a job.
Thanks, we got biden workinghere and and look what he gets
for a wife after all that crap.
But you know what?
She was the one who had a lotto do with straightening him out
, so we'll give her credit forthat.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
I would say the judge is going to look at his wife
and look at him, and look at hiswife again and go 10 years.
Honey, what are you doing forthe next 10?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
years.
That may happen.
He may go.
You don't deserve that, that'strue.
And he may go.
You don't deserve that, that'strue.
But you know he looked calmwhen he was walking out of the
courthouse after he was found hewas convicted.
He looked a little stressed andwe're lucky that.
You know we have really goodconnections.
So this is the first he hasn'tspoken to anybody.
(16:19):
You know, since he's beenconvicted.
We have him on the line Just acouple minutes.
We're going to give us just acouple minutes where I talk to
Hunter Biden and just verysimply, hunter, I appreciate you
being here, man, but the bigquestion is when you get that
guilty verdict and you knew youwere a convicted felon and you
may be looking at prison time Imean, how did you handle it?
Are you okay?
You all right?
Speaker 4 (16:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Thank you.
Does that mean?
Oh shit, he's relaxing manRight about how clean he was.
Hey put down the pipe on her.
Come on, all right man, oh shit.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Sniff this man, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Back into it.
What about this gorgeous wifeyou have?
I mean, you want the drugs oryou want the wife.
What's it going to be?
I don't know until the you in aminute man.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
How about the wife and the drugs man?
It's going to be the drugs.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Can't have both.
Dude, Can't have both.
Oh yeah, Does it stress you outabout the fact that you may go
to prison?
You okay with that.
Nothing to it.
Who's daddy what?
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
You know if I lost him.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I'd still be smoking shit too, I think we lost him
here somewhere.
Well, I'm sure he passed out.
I think we lost him heresomewhere.
I'm sure he passed out.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I think there might be a small possibility of that
happening.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Ladies and gentlemen, another Christian Castello
Excuse me, I said Hunter Biden,let's hear it for him Soon to be
inmate number 894 and 654.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Oh, I know we got him back to you just for man.
He's still hitting that pipe.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Oh Jesus, put it down , dude.
Why'd you just wipe that?
Anyway, he's supposed to betaken care of.
He's in there just toking up inthe bathroom, probably.
Thanks for the time.
Okay, happy tripping.
Hopefully you'll come down byMonday over the weekend.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Actually, I think, I think we'll just get rid of him.
That way, I think we'll get thebest out of him out of that.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Good luck, buddy.
One thing I say to you rememberyour friends, Share with your
friends.
Come on, don't be so damngreedy with the drugs.
Costello loves that good soap.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I do, I do.
Yeah, I particularly likemorphine.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Funny you should mention that.
Yeah, funny that I got quite asense of that.
Funny you should mention that.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
What I can remember, they'd ask me what do you want?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
They'd say morphine on their nose, that's what they
say.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Do you want some extra Tylenol, this, that and
the other morphine?
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Morphine.
I take the Tylenol ExtraStrength Morphine.
Yes, boys and girls, it's notover the counter and this is
what you get when you've hadcancer and stuff.
Sometimes they give you this incase you ever need it Like
every damn day.
No, I'm just kidding.
I haven't taken one in probablysix years.
But I did take one this week,slept like a bacon rock man.
(19:39):
I passed out and I justremember the last thing, my last
thought.
I woke up the next morning Iwas in the same position with
the same thought about eighthours later.
Wow, cool, a little bit ofdrool, not too much, but not too
bad.
It was like that was one of thebest damn sleeps I've had in a
long time.
That was great.
Not that we're advocatingtaking drugs.
No, we're doing it.
(19:59):
Don't get the wrong idea.
We're not doing that because wehad Hunter Biden on drug addict
.
Don't think I'm a morphine nut.
I'm actually just doing afamily.
I'm mailing this in to Costello.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
The question is why would they make it illegal
illegal?
I know it's horribly addictive.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Morphine.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
What's wrong with being horribly addicted to
something that makes you sleep?
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Well, morphine is not only addictive, it's just by
prescription.
Okay, if you're in the hospital, of course it's going to be
through an IV drip which is muchstronger.
That's when you get the littlebutton and you push that and go.
Anytime you have any pain, pushthat and release some more
morphine and you're sittingthere going clicky, clicky,
clicky, clicky.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
It's like what Stop Open it?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
up, Click, click click you can get a prescription
that's like a very mild fivemilligrams.
This one is 15 milligrams, nowonder.
I went something like thatClicky, clicky, clicky, clicky
the next day I had no arm painfrom my car wreck.
I was all rested and slept well.
It was really good.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Well, you know what that's not so cheap.
As you know, I had a car wreckalso many, many months ago.
Your car was total.
Yes, my car was total.
Sadly, oh terribly.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Very sad.
I love that car A two-seatshitm sad.
I love that car A two-seatshitmobile.
I love that car.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Yeah, I know, but there's one for sale if you got
21 grand, something like that.
Anyway, that's not just aconvenient number, that's
actually what they're asking for.
It's gone up by about fivegrand, which is amazing.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
So you found another car like the one you had, and it
was for $21,000?
.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
No, you know what I did?
I bought that SUV.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Did you find one like that for $21,000, though, and
you passed on that yes.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
What list would you like to get?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I'm sending you more morphine, okay, would you please
?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Would you please.
I have gone from.
Hey man, nice, cool car to getthat out of here.
You can't park here.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
That's right.
Hey, Gramps, move that car.
Are you picking up thegrandkids in that thing?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Get out of the way.
That's exactly what's happened.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Well, I thought you went from coolness to like you
know so.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Well, I can always change it, maybe.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I will.
So go back to the old part.
So you're kind of, I would say,semi, but mostly retired, and
you're settling in.
You're pretty freaking bored,aren't you?
And plus you're living in aplace where there isn't a damn
thing to do, unless you go backto school and you go to
University of South Carolina ifyou want to do that, I don't
want to do that.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
No, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Why don't you come out here and spend a month in
Colorado with me?
Why don't you come on out here?
Plenty to do, I'll keep youbusy.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Keep you active.
Listen, I'll tell you whatWe'll go mountain biking We'll
go hiking.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
I'll take you back to golf again.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I know how much you love that.
You know I was thinking aboutthat.
Well, when I have the backsurgery done which was supposed
to be yesterday, but it gotagain I'm eating something.
So the back surgery has beenput up for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Why are you eating during the show?
Speaker 3 (23:11):
It's glucose.
It's what Glucose, glucose,glucose does.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
You're sitting on a blown out whipping cushion, it
is.
You're in the back race.
I'll take you out to play someof these mountain courses.
That's what I'm going to tellyou.
I'm going to take you out tothe Vales.
It's a course out there I likea lot.
It's called Singletree.
It's a lot of fun.
It's called Singletree man.
It's a lot of fun, Just the funof being out there.
I mean, it's just reallygorgeous.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I'd come out there, no problem.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I mean, the problem is, I'll give you a couple of
big fresh buffalo burgers andhave some grilled quail on the
side.
Man, it'd be great.
Oh yes, you need to get yourass out in and hit the road,
okay.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
My ass up and my family.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
You're hitting the worst part of the year in
Columbia, south Carolina, butit's going to get real hot and
real humid.
We're here in Colorado wherethe night still gets down to 58,
60,.
Okay, the high today was awhopping 81,.
Okay, yeah, I know yeah roadtrip it's time for a road trip.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
It may well happen.
I got no problem.
I got out of here in aheartbeat.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Anyway, all good things.
You got to drive that far fromSouth Carolina to Colorado.
Try to remember which.
You're on the right side of theroad instead of the left, I
don't remember by then.
That old British thing comesback to you.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
But I'm telling you, it's road trip time it's such a
road trip.
I just go down, straight down,i-40 and then up to 35 or 25.
I don't remember 25.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
25, it is yeah, yep, then come on down to 25, man,
Hit on energy, be here beforeyou know it.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
You'll be here before you know it.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
You know the interesting thing about it is I
drive completely differently inthis vehicle.
I drive like an old man.
Well yeah, you can't go out andhit the curves and want to gun
it.
You hit the sharp.
You're in a four-door familywagon.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I'll tell you what.
In this four-door Mercedeswagon, my friend, you hit the
floor it's got a bigger enginethan the little one had.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
It's a bigger car.
I hope it has a bigger engine.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
You never make it up a freaking hill, okay, but it
has a two-step turbo, and whatthat means is you can go to
turbo or extra turbo.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Extra turbo when you hit the.
Rockies out there.
You're going to need extraturbo to get up the hill.
That'd be great.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
The beauty of it is since you're mostly retired,
white beard, you can take yourtime coming out here and stop
and see some fun things on theway instead of being such a
freaking hurry.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
That's probably something I should do.
Yes, you can pass throughArkansas and you'll say to
yourself why do people live inthis state?
And then you'll hit Oklahomaand you'll go why do people live
in this state?
And then you hit the Kansas andyou're going holy shit, I'm
turning around.
But after that you'll hitbeautiful Colorado and life is
good.
After that Colorado there'll beUtah.
Mexico.
It's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yeah, no, I've lived there, you know that.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I know, but you didn't live here long enough and
you've been away long, longtime, oh, a very long time, yeah
, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Well, I mean, you know, maybe we should put it to
a vote to our listener.
She's waiting for you, she'sgoing, maybe you like.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Don't feed me.
Road trip Come.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Actually, it would be so bad, because how long does
it take, what a day to get toVegas from there.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
If I drive, I do drive straight through sometimes
.
I'm going to drive straightthrough this weekend.
On Sunday, on Father's Daythat's my Father's Day I'm
driving straight to Vegas.
It'll take me about 10 and ahalf 11 hours Plus.
You know, I gain an hourbecause it's an hour time.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Yes, you do so.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I'll say I get there at 7 pm.
I'll get there actually at 6 pm.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
So that'd be good.
Yeah, well, I mean, I think so.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
So last week I talked to you to grow in a beard.
This week I'm talking you intoroad trip.
You can listen to our podcaston the way out here over and,
over and over.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Well, that'd be a fun thing to do, wouldn't it?
We covered Biden.
Now it's time to cover Trump.
We have a new episode of LittleDonnie Trump why he grew up and
why he's the fucked up personhe is today.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Okay, if we must, if we must Welcome to Little Donnie
Trump.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Now let's join the Trump family in their home in
1951.
Little Donnie, I'd like you tomeet my attorney, Mr Roy Cohn.
Pleased to meet you, Mr Cohn.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
Nice to meet you too, little Donnie.
What a charming blonde youngboy you are.
You can call me Uncle Roy.
Gee thanks, uncle Roy.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Now, little Donnie, I've got some work to do this
afternoon and your Uncle Roy,here, has volunteered to take
you out on his boat.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Have you ever been on a boat ride, little Donnie?
No, but it sounds like lots offun.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Look, roy, I know how you are with young men.
You keep your fucking hands toyourself.
You understand me.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Oh, don't worry, Fred , he's just an adorable little
blonde boy.
What could possibly happen?
Speaker 7 (28:13):
Gee, uncle Roy, this is swell.
Your boat is really great.
But what's the deal with allthese half-naked young guys all
sweaty and dancing and stuff?
Speaker 4 (28:21):
Oh, don't worry about them.
Little Donnie, what say you?
And I go down, I mean go downbelow, to my cabin, so I can
show you some things.
Speaker 7 (28:29):
Okay, Uncle Roy, but why do we need to go down to
your cabin?
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Well, donnie, I wanted to show you my thing.
I mean some things.
Come downstairs with me.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Fred, I'm really worried about little Donnie.
He's alone in his room and Icaught him playing with his
pee-pee.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Oh no, marianne, that's quite disturbing.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
I know Fred.
When he got home this afternoon, he kept talking about how
someone named Uncle Roy hadtaught him some things.
Do you have any idea who he'stalking about?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Uncle Roy Er.
Uh well, no, marianne, I'm notquite sure who that is, but I'll
certainly check into it.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
Well, I certainly hope you will.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Something has clearly happened to Little Donnie and
I'm worried about it, roy, whatthe fuck happened between you
and little Donnie?
Speaker 4 (29:16):
Oh, calm down, Fred.
You left him with me.
What did you think was going tohappen?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Roy, are you telling me you molested little Donnie?
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Fred molest is such an ugly word.
I simply taught him about thebirds and the bees and the
penises.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Roy Cohn, you are a deviant, perverted piece of shit
.
I can't believe you molested myson, oh relax, Fred.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
It's not like it's going to turn him into a
sexually retarded womanizing pigwho tries to fuck everything
that moves and doesn't careabout the consequences.
I'm sure he'll turn out to beperfectly normal.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Goddamn you, Roy Cohn .
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Here's a highlight from next week's episode.
Say little Donnie, would youlike to go on another boat ride?
Hell yes, Uncle Roy.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Fuck, no, roy, little Donnie's not going on any more
boat rides with you.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Be sure to tune in next week for another episode of
Little Donnie Trump.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Little Donnie Trump, there we go.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
That's so true.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I must tell you one thing I learned during this
episode.
As you're moving around, that'sthe squeakiest damn thing
you're sitting on.
We're going to take acollection.
It's the same thing I alwayssit on.
We're going to buy you a cloththing to sit on.
Okay, come on, man.
Look, this is some squeaky asspiece of whooping cushion.
Look at this thing.
I'll tell you what Piece ofbuffalo hide I'm sitting on out
(30:36):
here.
It's nice and soft like that.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
I'll tell you what.
The day you buy a newmicrophone and deck, then maybe.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Well, let me tell you this the reason I haven't
bought a new microphone yet isbecause I was informed by my
part-time employer, which usedto be my business.
The new owner.
They're buying me a whole setup home computer here with
microphone, new screen, thewhole deal.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
okay, right, well make sure it gets your decent
room.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I can excite you or something, right?
No, it sounds great.
The guy has one at the officein Vegas and it's really awesome
.
I talk to him all the time.
Microphone sounds great.
So they're going to send itafter this trip, when I come
back, so I'll have it in aboutthe second week of July.
Can't wait, can't wait, can'twait.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Oh boy me either.
It might be so nice to havenice clean audio, although we
are doing a lot better than wewere that clean audio, although
we are doing a lot better thanwe were.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
That clean audio is not my fault.
It comes to fine.
When we redo our podcast,whatever streaming service we
use, it just falls friggingapart.
Let me ask you we were on,we're trying to get on this
radioco.
Is that who we're trying to geton right?
Yeah, I just had to put thingstogether.
What's the other thing we're onright?
Yeah, I just had to put thingstogether.
So, anyway, so what's the otherthing?
So we're on like is it podcastnews?
(31:57):
No, it's like what's the thingwe're on with those British guys
you met last?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
year.
Oh yeah, Podcast radio.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Podcast radio, so they're still using our stuff
from our show, right?
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Oh, absolutely.
They got like 10 shows with usso you can go listen to 10 shows
they just pick something out ofthe 10 shows and just keep it.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Have you sent them anything new lately?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Well, it's just because they haven't asked for
anything lately what?
Does that tell you?
I'll give them a yell and seewhat they want.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
It's never a good time, Gus.
They haven't asked for anythingnew in a while.
Hello Got standard faceincentives and stuff.
Man, we get all kinds of niche.
That's been going on.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Well, I assumed that they would let us know if they
wanted more product.
I gave them an awful lot ofstuff, and don't forget, it's in
10-minute blocks.
I gave them hours and hours andhours.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Did you have any idea ?
Yeah, Are we still on where wewere at before that?
You know of no update fromthose guys at all.
Do I know Any update from thoseguys at all about new markets
stuff like guys at all?
No, no, no.
New markets, stuff like thatNothing.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
No, no, I haven't heard nothing.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
We were in Charlotte, Cleveland.
Somebody's got a broadcast inCleveland.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
This one's got to live there too.
Actually, I think we're inSouth Carolina too, yeah, well
like you said, charlotte, andprobably Myrtle, you know so,
yeah, well, like you said, sean,and probably Myrtle Beach all
the Carolinas and themid-Atlantic.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
We've got pretty good , and as far Midwest would be
Cleveland, you know.
So I'll let you go, not westyet, but we're everywhere, man.
So if you don't pick us upthrough them, which is on bits
and pieces through radio, theyalways put us on before the
financial person, which is kindof weird.
We're coming on, you get thepig-scooting thing as we sign
(33:42):
off and the guy's going.
Today's stock market dip.
I'm just going.
That's a bad segue.
Whatever, we came on after thistherapist who's trying to talk
people out of suicide.
Come on.
Hey we're Christian Costello.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
I haven't heard that happen yet.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Yeah, we could be the cause of many a suicide you
have to go to podcastradiouscom.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Yeah, there you go, and there you will find us, the
original cancelled radio guys.
Easy enough.
A lot of people think we'rejust called Chris and Costello.
It will come up that way Eitherway.
Yeah, it comes on the big wideworld web as well.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Either way, and it's like wherever you find your
podcast, listen to your podcast.
You will also find Chris andCostello, the original cancelled
radio guys.
Man, we're everywhere.
We're like fungus, we're likekudzu, we spread everywhere and
every service there is, youcan't help but find us.
We've got this big audience outin Saudi Arabia how Saudi.
(34:45):
And also in Japan and stuff.
It's kind of neat.
We're everywhere.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Yeah, I mean, here's the thing we're like.
Well, we're not poisonous, butwe're, which is no, that's not
good.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
It's a different analogy.
Okay, I'll go with that.
You can smoke us if you want.
Like Boy George said, we'rechurch of the poison mind.
That's where we are.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
There you go, Exactly exactly and guaranteed to get
more exciting and moreentertaining as we go.
Don't talk about beards.
Thank you, Jim.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Jim won't do it anymore, we promise.
I think Castello's lookedreally good.
Have you seen because?
Did you watch the Amy Winehousemovie yet?
No, I haven't seen it yet.
I want to see it.
I think it's called Back inBlack.
I think that was the name ofthe album.
Yeah, so that's the name of the.
That's not documented.
(35:40):
It's kind of like a movie abouther short but really
fascinating life.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
There was a documentary about her that I did
see there was, so is that whatyou were pertaining to?
Speaker 2 (35:51):
No, it's just a movie , man.
It's a new movie.
I was watching the girl who'sdoing it, which is a hard thing
to do.
She's actually doing a prettygood job.
It's really about her life.
I mean, she had such a shortlife, you know, so it covers as
much as they can in like atwo-hour movie.
She died when she was 27.
Yeah, mixed reviews.
You know.
Some people thought it wasgreat, some like, eh, it's not
(36:12):
enough, or you make her look bad.
Well, you know, with her it wasgood and there was some bad.
That's why she's dead, forGod's sake.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Well, bad.
That's why she's dead, forGod's sake.
Well, she's dead because shequit drinking and then had one
more drink, I think, orsomething, and it just blew her
system apart.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah, it was like a cute alcohol poisoning.
She had drugs in her system too, or was it just the alcohol?
Speaker 3 (36:33):
What had happened was that she'd gone to rehab and
she was clean, clean and justthe stress of that on her body
was too much.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I guess.
So the other thing this yearwith George Michael he was
overdosed drugs and alcoholright and he was 27.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Just by the way, george Michael was only 27.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
where did you get that from what?
Just by the way, george MichaelGeorge Michael's older than 27.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Where'd you get that?
From what when?
Speaker 2 (37:09):
did.
I get that from Yahoo.
George Michael had a longcareer.
He's in 47.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
You're right.
No, no, no, no, let's see.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
A lot of famous people died at 27.
Janis Joplin, 27.
Jimi Hendrix 27.
Jim Morrison 27.
Chris Farley 27.
John Belushi I'm not sure hewas right around that age,
though, so probably 27.
Amy.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Whitehouse 27.
Brian Jones from the RollingStones.
Costello, I know I know BrianJones from the Rolling Stones,
costello.
Okay, I know, I know this newlife is really taking a little
time to get going.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
He's here physically but he's brain dead but it'll be
coming back soon.
It'll be coming back.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Oh God, I hope so, man.
This is ridiculous.
You know what will do it what?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
A trip to Colorado?
No trip to Colorado to open andfreshen your mind.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Do you know what I have?
Another I have a couple offriends out there from my radio
days.
That's how long I've known them.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Look at this.
Do you want to deal with thisevery day?
I'll be in your face like thisCalstel.
You're not even looking at me.
Oh, I'm not looking at you.
As you could probably notice,You're looking at melt every day
.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
It wouldn't be bad, actually, because you know?
Speaker 2 (38:23):
No, it'd be fun, we'd have a good time.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
I'm not going to lie.
I mean, I personally am notlazy, but whatever's going on is
like can I get out of bed?
Oh fuck, I can't even tell you.
That's what I mean.
You need a kickstart man.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
You need a booster, you need a reason to to get out.
But I'm your reason and we'llgo see Uncle Joy, the little
Jewish troll who used to live inmy basement, who's now the
little Jewish troll living inhis ex-wife's basement, which
ex-wife, his latest ex-wife orhis ex-wife?
The latest one's not an ex-wifeyet, but soon will be.
(38:58):
This is the one he was marriedto for like 20 plus years or
something.
Right his original ex-wife yeah,and they're getting along
famously.
So he said oh good, see, joey'skind of like you.
He had surgery in January.
The first couple of days hegoes, oh, I feel so much better,
like I'm supposed to.
This is going to be good.
And all of a sudden then he'snot healing so well and things
(39:19):
are slow for him.
So we've got to get everybodytogether and just get everybody
boosted up and just cheered upagain.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
What do we need to do ?
Yeah, well, I mean, I told thepeople at rehab.
I said you know, this reallyisn't working, because you've
got me at rehab at three weeksout of the surgery and I'm here
what now?
Over six months?
I don't think this is reallyyou know either.
Can you kind of do it so that Ican catch up with myself?
Speaker 2 (39:47):
I don't know if it's not working or just the fact
that some of these things taketime and you didn't start right
away.
You let a lot of time passbefore you started you should
have jumped right into that shitman.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
I know I should have done, but the insurance wouldn't
work.
As jump right into that shitman, I know I should have done,
but the insurance wouldn't work.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
As always, morphine, morphine morphine.
Anything else we got to playbefore we got to go Anything
else?
Are we missing anything?
We got it all More Trump shit.
Are we done with that?
I hope.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
I'm trying.
There's something in the backof my mind now, but oh well,
never mind.
Oh well, listen, I'll tell you.
What I would like to do is askpeople.
Please go to our website,christencostellocom, which I'm
going to rebuild it here shortly, by the way.
It's another one of thosethings.
I'll do that tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
You can do it, man.
Just get up a new day and justgo, let's go.
You get up and just go.
What a great day, let's go.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
Oh God, the beautiful day.
See the weather here.
It's been fabulous.
But anyway, please go there andjust subscribe.
You don't have to pay.
For some reason they put $3 onit.
Well, if you can't afford $3,no biggie.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Be part of the campaign.
Last week's campaign was to getCostello to grow a into his car
, his Sammy wagon and head outwest.
West is best Come to.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Colorado.
This is true, I know my kidswill be happy about that.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Let's go, man.
Come on, you don't have to goback to Vegas to work.
You have to go back to Vegas towork for a bit.
You can ride with me and spendout a week there and then come
back with me.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Do that too, yeah yeah, yeah, there you go, yeah,
yeah.
Well, what do I do with thisplace in the meantime?
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Well, rent it out to Pookie next door and he can rent
it to Pookie and bring hisrelatives over to stay there and
watch it for you.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
There'll be nothing left when you get back.
But you know, hey, that's whatinsurance is for and the and the
animals what do I do?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
what do I do with my animals?
You see, when you get to find apet center, man, just go on the
neighbor thing, the neighborapp, and just just say, hey, I'm
going away for a while, I needsomeone to watch my pets.
I'm going for a month.
You can either watch them inyour house.
I think you can tell youthey'll watch them in their
house.
I mean pets finish everywhereto watch them in their house.
I mean pet centers areeverywhere.
That's a good supplementalincome.
A lot of people are doing thatnow, especially out here,
because we're like in a big dogstate, you know.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Yeah, well, that would be typical.
A little cool you got to showthe Nextdoor app.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
You should do that If not all your neighbors are on
it.
You put out a plea of what youwant south on my dog center,
because I got three dogs.
I don't want to leave me.
I want to bring them to yourplace, you know so does anybody
do that?
And I got like five in part.
Yeah, we got two dogs.
We'll take yours on too.
We'll watch them, and they allget along great.
It's easy.
(42:33):
They become friends, and alsoour dogs are doing as well too.
They're great people.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Okay, we'll go you can do it.
I know I'm sure I can do it.
I mean, lord, I'm sure you gotyour homework you got your
homework, dude, to go do it.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
In the meantime, who's gonna?
Who's gonna bend over this weekbecause he's had a relapse.
He's back on drugs.
It's hunter biden to squeal him.
Hunter, bend over and take itlike a biden.
Oh okay, man do buddy, oh, nowcome on.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
You can do better than that, okay, oh yeah, come
on buddy, come on wheel boy.
Speaker 6 (43:06):
Wheel, wheel Wheel louder, yeah, louder, yeah, you
go Louder.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yeah, does it hurt?
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, oh yeah.
You need some work Louder Doesit hurt.
Get down there, boy, get downthere.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Get down there.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
Took care of him.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
That we did, and that takes care of today's show,
we'll leave you with today'sparting word is prison.
Thank you, hey everybody, this is Chris hey
this is, gustavo, how you doing.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Chris, have you left any more cars?
It's good we can go.
Thanks, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I haven't driven much since the accident.
I've been saying that my leftarm is sticking to kill me, but
it's getting better.
My car is better.
My car has been fixed, which isgood.
The mechanical damage has beenfixed.
The body damage won't be tillJuly, windshield won't be till
July and by then hopefully we'llbe back the way it used to be,
the way we were.
(01:12):
We were so close together.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I tell you what this smile is brought to you by.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, they cracked my teeth on that, which is good,
so I'm going to do a quickupdate.
It's really funny because wegot an email this week from a
guy who didn't like us talkingabout beards.
I don't know what the hell wesaid that was bad about beards,
but I was just saying I grewmine out, I let it do its
natural color, which has turnedlike white.
Yeah, it was okay.
So I'm trying some salt andpepper.
I like this way better.
If I told you my town's view isto not shave and see what you
(01:46):
got.
Look at you, look at me.
You've got your white whiskerspopping up everywhere.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
It's a little bit, but it's just white.
There are some ginger ones inthere.
What ones, hmm?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Ginger ones, ginger ones, red ones.
Yeah, oh, ginger, I thoughtmaybe some lively ones.
I wonder if ginger was.
Ginger is red Okay.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, yeah, like a redhead, Like a redhead, it must
be a British thing.
I don't know.
What do you think?
Should I keep it?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I think it looks really good.
I think it looks good Okay.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Well, this, of course , is for our listeners who have
video, so your viewers, and forthis, of course, is for our
listeners who have video, soyour viewers and for our
listeners, yes, we both havebeards.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
If you don't have video, just guess and try to
figure it out, okay?
And to the guy who didn't likeus talking about beards, that's
it.
It's just a beard update.
It's harmless, okay.
Look at Kansai.
He looks at least three monthsyounger by having that beard.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I tell you what, if I can do this without screwing
everything up?
I was going to find the actualemail.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh, we'll get to that .
Okay, we've got time for that.
I've got to tell you what didhappen.
I'm due.
It's been a while.
I don't know if you get theseor not, because you had your
thing.
They make you do it every year.
I had to do my big, full, fullphysical yesterday.
This is the kind where you gotto stand there, just start naked
, where the doctor flicks yourballs, you know, yanks in your
(03:11):
wonker, and then he does themost dreadful thing of all to
check your prostate.
You hear the glove snap, ohnothing.
He moves up the finger, up thefinger, goes up the Willy Wonka
Chalk Factory and then turn tothe left, turn to the right,
rotates us around and pulls itout and you know what?
Afterwards we had a cigarettetogether and I think about
(03:32):
taking him to dinner.
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Well, only if he sniffed it, oh God.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
What can you get on that day?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
That's a mere nothing .
Speaker 2 (03:45):
That's just a bad visual.
You know I was facing Ford, hewas behind me, so he may have.
So I don't know, I hope not,but man, I hate that thing.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
It's not a very pleasant feeling, I grant you.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I don't know, I mean just thought it out there, you
okay, yeah, how do the gay guyshandle that.
I'm sorry.
I mean, you know, give me abreak.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Well, that's a whole different thing.
So I understand and I don'treally know.
Oh, you don't, I have never.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You're feeding a little ginger.
That's true Ginger beer.
I don't have an answer for thatI just mean only the closest I
know is like doing that prostateand I'll say this I was with
some women once who thought thatit would be a turn on for a guy
for them to figure out.
You know.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Yeah, it's great until they grow fingernails.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, I get cuts on the inside.
I'm just going.
First time one did that, I wentokay, and the reason for this
is they go.
We're supposed to make you evenmore harder and more enhanced.
I'm going hmm, you know that'snot working.
You can remove it anytime youwant.
(05:05):
She goes.
I'm trying to, but yoursphincter is getting so tight
and my finger is stuck in thereright now.
I'm going.
So she's going relax, relaxyour butt muscles.
I get my finger out.
I'm going.
Okay, she's going.
It's still not relaxed.
I can't get my finger out.
Now she's starting to panic,okay, hey, we're going to meet
(05:28):
my parents in five minutes.
Let me tell you guess what?
She never did that again.
Good, no one's done that untilmy physical yesterday.
It just made me think that Ihave a lot of friends who are
gay, so I have to ask them I go,how does that feel?
I got them.
Well, you pick your friendlyneighborhood gay guy and ask him
(05:50):
if he's into it.
We're doing a Kristen Costellosurvey.
What does that feel like upyour butt?
Well, you're going to lose afriend right there, I think
right.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I think you'd lose respect.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, I don't think I'd go there.
The thing was I was asking I go, I go why You're bugging me to
have one of these things likeonce a year, once every two
years.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Let me ask you this yes, you haven't had a
colonoscopy yet.
You must have done.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Oh heck, yeah, man.
You know, because of my cancerI had a colonoscopy every six
months for five years.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
OK, well, what's the big deal about a finger?
I'm not awake, oh I was awakenever had a colonoscopy they put
you under.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
You're not awake.
You wake up and you're layingdown a pile of shit and they go
okay, clean yourself up, you cango now.
I'm just going look at the messyou left behind, you know you
made it.
Yeah, this is, this is.
This is ass month for me,because it's been five years
since my last colonoscopy Basedon my cancer history.
I had to have anothercolonoscopy in July.
(06:48):
So, once again, I'll start toget loose back there, since
everyone's going up there, okay.
So, I'm not going to be tightanymore.
Can I ask will you stopcrawling up my ass please?
So that'll be my last name fora while.
So don't ask me to turn outgrand, no, it will.
My blood work is great.
(07:09):
They deem me 100 very healthy,and but they just, I told myself
, you guys asking for all thisstuff, you're starting to make
me feel old, you know, and itgets into your, it gets into
your head.
So one guy handles old, who?
Just one of my all-time heroes,rodney Dangerfield.
You two are talking about old.
Let's listen.
This is how you handle oldstuff, right here.
(07:29):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 6 (07:31):
This is it I tell you I can't relax.
My kid drives me nuts.
The other day I told him.
I said you're young, you don'thave it upstairs.
He told me I'm old, I don'thave in bed.
She said again I'm getting old,I'm not a kid anymore.
I know I'm getting old.
In Vegas I played a slotmachine.
Three prunes came up.
(07:53):
I know I'm getting old, I'm atthe age.
Now if I hear someone goes bothways, I figure it's number one
or number two.
I'm not a kid, I'm getting old,johnny, I'm getting a kid.
I'm getting older, johnny, I'mgetting older.
You kidding, I took a vacationwith the Mexico.
I got the walks.
I can't get girls anymore.
You kidding, now, at my age,you become a hooky.
No, you kidding my age.
(08:18):
To me the daily double is prunejuice and an enema.
My last birthday cake.
I couldn't blow out the candles.
The heat drove me back.
I tell you I can't relax.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
My kid drives me nuts .
No one handles old like danger.
I love that one, the referenceto Vegas.
Hey, pulled the slot machineand three prunes came up.
Three crows the Denny Doublewas an enema and some prune
juice.
Hey, hey.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Didn't hear about his doctor, dr Billy Pompah.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, he's great.
I started ranting off the oldstory.
I just said, oh, that's justlike what I went through the
other day at the physical.
We had to play that.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Rest in peace, rodney .
Rest in peace.
Love you, rodney.
You're classic, him and GeorgeCarlin man on the strip back in
the day, that's when we hadentertainment.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
It's amazing what George Carlin turned into.
I don't know if you remember ornot, and maybe you don't.
When he used to appear on theEd Sullivan show, he'd come out
in a suit and tie with slickback hair.
He's doing that thing with thehippie dippy weatherman
(09:32):
Tonight's forecast dark,tomorrow's forecast light.
That's what he used to do.
Then he evolved into thismaster of the language and words
and became a hippie dippyweatherman with the long hair.
It was funny how he started andwhat he became, and you know
what?
Speaker 3 (09:48):
What he says now, or rather what he said then, is
happening now, because you knowhe got into the political thing.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah yeah, if you look at some of his old stuff,
you're going man spot on it.
You know exactly.
I wish he'd have lived longenough to deal with Trump.
That would have been fun tohear what he had to say.
Can you imagine?
Yeah, I'd like to.
Yeah, we've got to think alittle bit of politics, okay?
Oh yeah, Since Hunter Biden hasbeen found guilty and he's now
(10:16):
a felon, so my thought is okay.
The other side, the Trump side,the Trump side, the asshole side
can't keep going.
The justice system is rigged.
It, the other side, the Trumpside, the Trump side, the
asshole side can't keep going.
The justice system is rigged.
It's biting.
All against me, they're allagainst me, it's all rigged.
Well, how's that for rigged?
His own son is now a convictedfelon.
He made it very clear he'sdoing the right thing.
I'm not going to intervene.
(10:36):
I'm not going to commute asentence.
I'm not going to pardon him.
What he gets, that's just theway it is.
Even though he's a dad, it'sgot to be very hurtful.
The Trump, as you noticed, hasbeen real quiet about this thing
because he's going oh crap, howam I going to use this thing
anymore about it being riggedagainst me now, when all that
happened to him he's not evendone yet he's got another court
(10:58):
date in LA about income taxevasion, which is the one that
could actually really, reallyfor sure, send you to prison.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
That's the one we really need to watch, isn't?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
it.
Have you heard Trump sayanything since the 100th?
That's not a damn thing, right.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Not much A little bit on the internet and a little
bit on my computer.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
What can you say?
It's rigged against him becausewell, hey, asshole, there's
proof that it is not riggedagainst you.
Okay, it's actually going to bemore harmful to him than it
probably is for you, becauseputting an ex-president in jail
is going to be very difficult.
So I'm just such a big fan ofthe home confinement so I don't
think Hunter is going to prisonover this one, but I think if
(11:39):
he's found guilty of the taxevasion, it's kind of hard not
to avoid jail time on that one.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
So we'll see what happens.
He'll go to one of those fancyprisons, but it won't be hard
time, will it?
I?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
mean I'd say go to federal camp, maybe so.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, yeah, I mean no , they'll just stick him in a
camp, like they do with all theCEOs and everybody.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
That's where they Well you know, lest you forget.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I've been to camp it ain't no freaking picnic.
I keep on thinking this okay,all right, been to camp it makes
me sound like.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
oh, we're laying around in the sun all day, we're
playing pickleball and makingcroquet blankets and eating
steak and lobster.
Wrong, oh, it's not.
No, the only thing differentabout camp is there are no
fences.
Ok, so you're trusted if you,if you even think about walking
out the boundary, that of courseyou get on the big slammer and
(12:32):
you have years added on yoursentence.
Why would you do that?
So it's you start to be lockedup certain time.
Every night they lock you in,like at 9 pm.
You sleep in a shitty bunk witha flat mattress.
You know you had to eat thecrappy food, you know, and you
had to work a job while you'rethere.
So tell me what picnic you?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
can't.
Well, I don't think it'd be asbad as being shot in a little
like six-by-six with Bubba.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Well, if you did something to deserve that, hey.
But you know I had my job Iapplied for because I was only
the only person there, I guess,who had a, a current driver's
license, less best have beenthere for so long.
Their license had expired,right.
So I was a driver.
So every morning I'd get up andI would drive, uh, certain
other inmates to the hospital orto you know, using medical
appointments and stuff, and comeback and pick him up a certain
(13:23):
certain time.
Sometimes I would cheat, youhave to go to the hospital.
I would go the opposite way,way from the back to the camp.
I'd push a little bit, drivedown the road a little bit,
going freedom, and then comeback If I got caught going the
wrong way.
It's like, you know, you startto stretch and cheat a little
bit.
But I was the driver.
So that was my job, reallytough job, and I drove that's
(13:43):
what they had not an electriccar, it was an all.
It was a natural gas car.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Oh, yeah, yeah, propane.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah, how safe did I feel driving that damn thing.
You know, one match boom.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Well, same with a gasoline car.
In fact you're probably saferbecause you've got valves and a
much thicker I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
That's the only time I've been around any natural gas
car.
You know what it's like.
You think an electric car isquiet.
That sucker made not a hum.
I mean nothing.
You know Really.
I had to go to the little gasstation there and fill it up and
you just stick that thing.
It's like you're filling upyour tank at home.
It's just quiet until you capit off.
That's about all you hear.
(14:25):
But when you drive it it's justnothing.
It's like am I hitting the gas?
Is anything moving?
And all of a sudden it lurchesahead.
It doesn't go as fast as anelectric car, but I guess they
haven't caught on.
I've never heard or seenanything about them since then.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Well, I mean, all the forklifts are driven by propane
.
Anything that has to go insideand have a motor has propane,
all those things.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
So you haven't liked me.
I had no idea that.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Well, there you go, there you go.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
It's the Costello fact of the day.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Well, propane it is, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Forklifts on propane indoors are driven by natural
gas.
I had no idea.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
That's right.
Anything that is not electric,it's going to be propane.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I thought they were electric.
It makes sense.
You can't have carbon monoxidecrap going on on the inside
there.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I'll tell you what, and now we're going to stop for
a brief moment.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Unless you're sniffing it.
Go back to Hunter Biden.
He's guilty.
He's a felon.
I was shocked over his wife.
I'm going god damn it.
Well, look what money will buy.
I mean, he's a.
He's an online sex pervert.
He's a drug addict for years.
He's making millions living offdad's name.
Not saying he's doing anyillegal in that sense, we just
(15:37):
just mention the name.
I'll give him a job.
Thanks, we got biden workinghere and and look what he gets
for a wife after all that crap.
But you know what?
She was the one who had a lotto do with straightening him out
, so we'll give her credit forthat.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
I would say the judge is going to look at his wife
and look at him, and look at hiswife again and go 10 years.
Honey, what are you doing forthe next 10?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
years.
That may happen.
He may go.
You don't deserve that, that'strue.
And he may go.
You don't deserve that, that'strue.
But you know he looked calmwhen he was walking out of the
courthouse after he was found hewas convicted.
He looked a little stressed andwe're lucky that.
You know we have really goodconnections.
So this is the first he hasn'tspoken to anybody.
(16:19):
You know, since he's beenconvicted.
We have him on the line Just acouple minutes.
We're going to give us just acouple minutes where I talk to
Hunter Biden and just verysimply, hunter, I appreciate you
being here, man, but the bigquestion is when you get that
guilty verdict and you knew youwere a convicted felon and you
may be looking at prison time Imean, how did you handle it?
Are you okay?
You all right?
Speaker 4 (16:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Thank you.
Does that mean?
Oh shit, he's relaxing manRight about how clean he was.
Hey put down the pipe on her.
Come on, all right man, oh shit.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Sniff this man, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Back into it.
What about this gorgeous wifeyou have?
I mean, you want the drugs oryou want the wife.
What's it going to be?
I don't know until the you in aminute man.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
How about the wife and the drugs man?
It's going to be the drugs.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Can't have both.
Dude, Can't have both.
Oh yeah, Does it stress you outabout the fact that you may go
to prison?
You okay with that.
Nothing to it.
Who's daddy what?
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
You know if I lost him.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I'd still be smoking shit too, I think we lost him
here somewhere.
Well, I'm sure he passed out.
I think we lost him heresomewhere.
I'm sure he passed out.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I think there might be a small possibility of that
happening.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Ladies and gentlemen, another Christian Castello
Excuse me, I said Hunter Biden,let's hear it for him Soon to be
inmate number 894 and 654.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Oh, I know we got him back to you just for man.
He's still hitting that pipe.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Oh Jesus, put it down , dude.
Why'd you just wipe that?
Anyway, he's supposed to betaken care of.
He's in there just toking up inthe bathroom, probably.
Thanks for the time.
Okay, happy tripping.
Hopefully you'll come down byMonday over the weekend.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Actually, I think, I think we'll just get rid of him.
That way, I think we'll get thebest out of him out of that.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Good luck, buddy.
One thing I say to you rememberyour friends, Share with your
friends.
Come on, don't be so damngreedy with the drugs.
Costello loves that good soap.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I do, I do.
Yeah, I particularly likemorphine.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Funny you should mention that.
Yeah, funny that I got quite asense of that.
Funny you should mention that.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
What I can remember, they'd ask me what do you want?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
They'd say morphine on their nose, that's what they
say.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Do you want some extra Tylenol, this, that and
the other morphine?
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Morphine.
I take the Tylenol ExtraStrength Morphine.
Yes, boys and girls, it's notover the counter and this is
what you get when you've hadcancer and stuff.
Sometimes they give you this incase you ever need it Like
every damn day.
No, I'm just kidding.
I haven't taken one in probablysix years.
But I did take one this week,slept like a bacon rock man.
(19:39):
I passed out and I justremember the last thing, my last
thought.
I woke up the next morning Iwas in the same position with
the same thought about eighthours later.
Wow, cool, a little bit ofdrool, not too much, but not too
bad.
It was like that was one of thebest damn sleeps I've had in a
long time.
That was great.
Not that we're advocatingtaking drugs.
No, we're doing it.
(19:59):
Don't get the wrong idea.
We're not doing that because wehad Hunter Biden on drug addict
.
Don't think I'm a morphine nut.
I'm actually just doing afamily.
I'm mailing this in to Costello.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
The question is why would they make it illegal
illegal?
I know it's horribly addictive.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Morphine.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
What's wrong with being horribly addicted to
something that makes you sleep?
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Well, morphine is not only addictive, it's just by
prescription.
Okay, if you're in the hospital, of course it's going to be
through an IV drip which is muchstronger.
That's when you get the littlebutton and you push that and go.
Anytime you have any pain, pushthat and release some more
morphine and you're sittingthere going clicky, clicky,
clicky, clicky.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
It's like what Stop Open it?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
up, Click, click click you can get a prescription
that's like a very mild fivemilligrams.
This one is 15 milligrams, nowonder.
I went something like thatClicky, clicky, clicky, clicky
the next day I had no arm painfrom my car wreck.
I was all rested and slept well.
It was really good.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Well, you know what that's not so cheap.
As you know, I had a car wreckalso many, many months ago.
Your car was total.
Yes, my car was total.
Sadly, oh terribly.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Very sad.
I love that car A two-seatshitm sad.
I love that car A two-seatshitmobile.
I love that car.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Yeah, I know, but there's one for sale if you got
21 grand, something like that.
Anyway, that's not just aconvenient number, that's
actually what they're asking for.
It's gone up by about fivegrand, which is amazing.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
So you found another car like the one you had, and it
was for $21,000?
.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
No, you know what I did?
I bought that SUV.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Did you find one like that for $21,000, though, and
you passed on that yes.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
What list would you like to get?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I'm sending you more morphine, okay, would you please
?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Would you please.
I have gone from.
Hey man, nice, cool car to getthat out of here.
You can't park here.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
That's right.
Hey, Gramps, move that car.
Are you picking up thegrandkids in that thing?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Get out of the way.
That's exactly what's happened.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Well, I thought you went from coolness to like you
know so.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Well, I can always change it, maybe.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I will.
So go back to the old part.
So you're kind of, I would say,semi, but mostly retired, and
you're settling in.
You're pretty freaking bored,aren't you?
And plus you're living in aplace where there isn't a damn
thing to do, unless you go backto school and you go to
University of South Carolina ifyou want to do that, I don't
want to do that.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
No, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Why don't you come out here and spend a month in
Colorado with me?
Why don't you come on out here?
Plenty to do, I'll keep youbusy.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Keep you active.
Listen, I'll tell you whatWe'll go mountain biking We'll
go hiking.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
I'll take you back to golf again.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I know how much you love that.
You know I was thinking aboutthat.
Well, when I have the backsurgery done which was supposed
to be yesterday, but it gotagain I'm eating something.
So the back surgery has beenput up for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Why are you eating during the show?
Speaker 3 (23:11):
It's glucose.
It's what Glucose, glucose,glucose does.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
You're sitting on a blown out whipping cushion, it
is.
You're in the back race.
I'll take you out to play someof these mountain courses.
That's what I'm going to tellyou.
I'm going to take you out tothe Vales.
It's a course out there I likea lot.
It's called Singletree.
It's a lot of fun.
It's called Singletree man.
It's a lot of fun, Just the funof being out there.
I mean, it's just reallygorgeous.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I'd come out there, no problem.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I mean, the problem is, I'll give you a couple of
big fresh buffalo burgers andhave some grilled quail on the
side.
Man, it'd be great.
Oh yes, you need to get yourass out in and hit the road,
okay.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
My ass up and my family.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
You're hitting the worst part of the year in
Columbia, south Carolina, butit's going to get real hot and
real humid.
We're here in Colorado wherethe night still gets down to 58,
60,.
Okay, the high today was awhopping 81,.
Okay, yeah, I know yeah roadtrip it's time for a road trip.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
It may well happen.
I got no problem.
I got out of here in aheartbeat.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Anyway, all good things.
You got to drive that far fromSouth Carolina to Colorado.
Try to remember which.
You're on the right side of theroad instead of the left, I
don't remember by then.
That old British thing comesback to you.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
But I'm telling you, it's road trip time it's such a
road trip.
I just go down, straight down,i-40 and then up to 35 or 25.
I don't remember 25.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
25, it is yeah, yep, then come on down to 25, man,
Hit on energy, be here beforeyou know it.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
You'll be here before you know it.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
You know the interesting thing about it is I
drive completely differently inthis vehicle.
I drive like an old man.
Well yeah, you can't go out andhit the curves and want to gun
it.
You hit the sharp.
You're in a four-door familywagon.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I'll tell you what.
In this four-door Mercedeswagon, my friend, you hit the
floor it's got a bigger enginethan the little one had.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
It's a bigger car.
I hope it has a bigger engine.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
You never make it up a freaking hill, okay, but it
has a two-step turbo, and whatthat means is you can go to
turbo or extra turbo.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Extra turbo when you hit the.
Rockies out there.
You're going to need extraturbo to get up the hill.
That'd be great.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
The beauty of it is since you're mostly retired,
white beard, you can take yourtime coming out here and stop
and see some fun things on theway instead of being such a
freaking hurry.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
That's probably something I should do.
Yes, you can pass throughArkansas and you'll say to
yourself why do people live inthis state?
And then you'll hit Oklahomaand you'll go why do people live
in this state?
And then you hit the Kansas andyou're going holy shit, I'm
turning around.
But after that you'll hitbeautiful Colorado and life is
good.
After that Colorado there'll beUtah.
Mexico.
It's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yeah, no, I've lived there, you know that.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I know, but you didn't live here long enough and
you've been away long, longtime, oh, a very long time, yeah
, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Well, I mean, you know, maybe we should put it to
a vote to our listener.
She's waiting for you, she'sgoing, maybe you like.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Don't feed me.
Road trip Come.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Actually, it would be so bad, because how long does
it take, what a day to get toVegas from there.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
If I drive, I do drive straight through sometimes
.
I'm going to drive straightthrough this weekend.
On Sunday, on Father's Daythat's my Father's Day I'm
driving straight to Vegas.
It'll take me about 10 and ahalf 11 hours Plus.
You know, I gain an hourbecause it's an hour time.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Yes, you do so.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I'll say I get there at 7 pm.
I'll get there actually at 6 pm.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
So that'd be good.
Yeah, well, I mean, I think so.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
So last week I talked to you to grow in a beard.
This week I'm talking you intoroad trip.
You can listen to our podcaston the way out here over and,
over and over.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Well, that'd be a fun thing to do, wouldn't it?
We covered Biden.
Now it's time to cover Trump.
We have a new episode of LittleDonnie Trump why he grew up and
why he's the fucked up personhe is today.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Okay, if we must, if we must Welcome to Little Donnie
Trump.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Now let's join the Trump family in their home in
1951.
Little Donnie, I'd like you tomeet my attorney, Mr Roy Cohn.
Pleased to meet you, Mr Cohn.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
Nice to meet you too, little Donnie.
What a charming blonde youngboy you are.
You can call me Uncle Roy.
Gee thanks, uncle Roy.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Now, little Donnie, I've got some work to do this
afternoon and your Uncle Roy,here, has volunteered to take
you out on his boat.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Have you ever been on a boat ride, little Donnie?
No, but it sounds like lots offun.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Look, roy, I know how you are with young men.
You keep your fucking hands toyourself.
You understand me.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Oh, don't worry, Fred , he's just an adorable little
blonde boy.
What could possibly happen?
Speaker 7 (28:13):
Gee, uncle Roy, this is swell.
Your boat is really great.
But what's the deal with allthese half-naked young guys all
sweaty and dancing and stuff?
Speaker 4 (28:21):
Oh, don't worry about them.
Little Donnie, what say you?
And I go down, I mean go downbelow, to my cabin, so I can
show you some things.
Speaker 7 (28:29):
Okay, Uncle Roy, but why do we need to go down to
your cabin?
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Well, donnie, I wanted to show you my thing.
I mean some things.
Come downstairs with me.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Fred, I'm really worried about little Donnie.
He's alone in his room and Icaught him playing with his
pee-pee.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Oh no, marianne, that's quite disturbing.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
I know Fred.
When he got home this afternoon, he kept talking about how
someone named Uncle Roy hadtaught him some things.
Do you have any idea who he'stalking about?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Uncle Roy Er.
Uh well, no, marianne, I'm notquite sure who that is, but I'll
certainly check into it.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
Well, I certainly hope you will.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Something has clearly happened to Little Donnie and
I'm worried about it, roy, whatthe fuck happened between you
and little Donnie?
Speaker 4 (29:16):
Oh, calm down, Fred.
You left him with me.
What did you think was going tohappen?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Roy, are you telling me you molested little Donnie?
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Fred molest is such an ugly word.
I simply taught him about thebirds and the bees and the
penises.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Roy Cohn, you are a deviant, perverted piece of shit
.
I can't believe you molested myson, oh relax, Fred.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
It's not like it's going to turn him into a
sexually retarded womanizing pigwho tries to fuck everything
that moves and doesn't careabout the consequences.
I'm sure he'll turn out to beperfectly normal.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Goddamn you, Roy Cohn .
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Here's a highlight from next week's episode.
Say little Donnie, would youlike to go on another boat ride?
Hell yes, Uncle Roy.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Fuck, no, roy, little Donnie's not going on any more
boat rides with you.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Be sure to tune in next week for another episode of
Little Donnie Trump.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Little Donnie Trump, there we go.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
That's so true.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I must tell you one thing I learned during this
episode.
As you're moving around, that'sthe squeakiest damn thing
you're sitting on.
We're going to take acollection.
It's the same thing I alwayssit on.
We're going to buy you a cloththing to sit on.
Okay, come on, man.
Look, this is some squeaky asspiece of whooping cushion.
Look at this thing.
I'll tell you what Piece ofbuffalo hide I'm sitting on out
(30:36):
here.
It's nice and soft like that.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
I'll tell you what.
The day you buy a newmicrophone and deck, then maybe.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Well, let me tell you this the reason I haven't
bought a new microphone yet isbecause I was informed by my
part-time employer, which usedto be my business.
The new owner.
They're buying me a whole setup home computer here with
microphone, new screen, thewhole deal.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
okay, right, well make sure it gets your decent
room.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I can excite you or something, right?
No, it sounds great.
The guy has one at the officein Vegas and it's really awesome
.
I talk to him all the time.
Microphone sounds great.
So they're going to send itafter this trip, when I come
back, so I'll have it in aboutthe second week of July.
Can't wait, can't wait, can'twait.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Oh boy me either.
It might be so nice to havenice clean audio, although we
are doing a lot better than wewere that clean audio, although
we are doing a lot better thanwe were.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
That clean audio is not my fault.
It comes to fine.
When we redo our podcast,whatever streaming service we
use, it just falls friggingapart.
Let me ask you we were on,we're trying to get on this
radioco.
Is that who we're trying to geton right?
Yeah, I just had to put thingstogether.
What's the other thing we're onright?
Yeah, I just had to put thingstogether.
So, anyway, so what's the otherthing?
So we're on like is it podcastnews?
(31:57):
No, it's like what's the thingwe're on with those British guys
you met last?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
year.
Oh yeah, Podcast radio.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Podcast radio, so they're still using our stuff
from our show, right?
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Oh, absolutely.
They got like 10 shows with usso you can go listen to 10 shows
they just pick something out ofthe 10 shows and just keep it.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Have you sent them anything new lately?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Well, it's just because they haven't asked for
anything lately what?
Does that tell you?
I'll give them a yell and seewhat they want.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
It's never a good time, Gus.
They haven't asked for anythingnew in a while.
Hello Got standard faceincentives and stuff.
Man, we get all kinds of niche.
That's been going on.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Well, I assumed that they would let us know if they
wanted more product.
I gave them an awful lot ofstuff, and don't forget, it's in
10-minute blocks.
I gave them hours and hours andhours.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Did you have any idea ?
Yeah, Are we still on where wewere at before that?
You know of no update fromthose guys at all.
Do I know Any update from thoseguys at all about new markets
stuff like guys at all?
No, no, no.
New markets, stuff like thatNothing.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
No, no, I haven't heard nothing.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
We were in Charlotte, Cleveland.
Somebody's got a broadcast inCleveland.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
This one's got to live there too.
Actually, I think we're inSouth Carolina too, yeah, well
like you said, charlotte, andprobably Myrtle, you know so,
yeah, well, like you said, sean,and probably Myrtle Beach all
the Carolinas and themid-Atlantic.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
We've got pretty good , and as far Midwest would be
Cleveland, you know.
So I'll let you go, not westyet, but we're everywhere, man.
So if you don't pick us upthrough them, which is on bits
and pieces through radio, theyalways put us on before the
financial person, which is kindof weird.
We're coming on, you get thepig-scooting thing as we sign
(33:42):
off and the guy's going.
Today's stock market dip.
I'm just going.
That's a bad segue.
Whatever, we came on after thistherapist who's trying to talk
people out of suicide.
Come on.
Hey we're Christian Costello.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
I haven't heard that happen yet.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Yeah, we could be the cause of many a suicide you
have to go to podcastradiouscom.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Yeah, there you go, and there you will find us, the
original cancelled radio guys.
Easy enough.
A lot of people think we'rejust called Chris and Costello.
It will come up that way Eitherway.
Yeah, it comes on the big wideworld web as well.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Either way, and it's like wherever you find your
podcast, listen to your podcast.
You will also find Chris andCostello, the original cancelled
radio guys.
Man, we're everywhere.
We're like fungus, we're likekudzu, we spread everywhere and
every service there is, youcan't help but find us.
We've got this big audience outin Saudi Arabia how Saudi.
(34:45):
And also in Japan and stuff.
It's kind of neat.
We're everywhere.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Yeah, I mean, here's the thing we're like.
Well, we're not poisonous, butwe're, which is no, that's not
good.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
It's a different analogy.
Okay, I'll go with that.
You can smoke us if you want.
Like Boy George said, we'rechurch of the poison mind.
That's where we are.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
There you go, Exactly exactly and guaranteed to get
more exciting and moreentertaining as we go.
Don't talk about beards.
Thank you, Jim.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Jim won't do it anymore, we promise.
I think Castello's lookedreally good.
Have you seen because?
Did you watch the Amy Winehousemovie yet?
No, I haven't seen it yet.
I want to see it.
I think it's called Back inBlack.
I think that was the name ofthe album.
Yeah, so that's the name of the.
That's not documented.
(35:40):
It's kind of like a movie abouther short but really
fascinating life.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
There was a documentary about her that I did
see there was, so is that whatyou were pertaining to?
Speaker 2 (35:51):
No, it's just a movie , man.
It's a new movie.
I was watching the girl who'sdoing it, which is a hard thing
to do.
She's actually doing a prettygood job.
It's really about her life.
I mean, she had such a shortlife, you know, so it covers as
much as they can in like atwo-hour movie.
She died when she was 27.
Yeah, mixed reviews.
You know.
Some people thought it wasgreat, some like, eh, it's not
(36:12):
enough, or you make her look bad.
Well, you know, with her it wasgood and there was some bad.
That's why she's dead, forGod's sake.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Well, bad.
That's why she's dead, forGod's sake.
Well, she's dead because shequit drinking and then had one
more drink, I think, orsomething, and it just blew her
system apart.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah, it was like a cute alcohol poisoning.
She had drugs in her system too, or was it just the alcohol?
Speaker 3 (36:33):
What had happened was that she'd gone to rehab and
she was clean, clean and justthe stress of that on her body
was too much.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I guess.
So the other thing this yearwith George Michael he was
overdosed drugs and alcoholright and he was 27.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Just by the way, george Michael was only 27.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
where did you get that from what?
Just by the way, george MichaelGeorge Michael's older than 27.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Where'd you get that?
From what when?
Speaker 2 (37:09):
did.
I get that from Yahoo.
George Michael had a longcareer.
He's in 47.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
You're right.
No, no, no, no, let's see.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
A lot of famous people died at 27.
Janis Joplin, 27.
Jimi Hendrix 27.
Jim Morrison 27.
Chris Farley 27.
John Belushi I'm not sure hewas right around that age,
though, so probably 27.
Amy.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Whitehouse 27.
Brian Jones from the RollingStones.
Costello, I know I know BrianJones from the Rolling Stones,
costello.
Okay, I know, I know this newlife is really taking a little
time to get going.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
He's here physically but he's brain dead but it'll be
coming back soon.
It'll be coming back.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Oh God, I hope so, man.
This is ridiculous.
You know what will do it what?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
A trip to Colorado?
No trip to Colorado to open andfreshen your mind.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Do you know what I have?
Another I have a couple offriends out there from my radio
days.
That's how long I've known them.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Look at this.
Do you want to deal with thisevery day?
I'll be in your face like thisCalstel.
You're not even looking at me.
Oh, I'm not looking at you.
As you could probably notice,You're looking at melt every day
.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
It wouldn't be bad, actually, because you know?
Speaker 2 (38:23):
No, it'd be fun, we'd have a good time.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
I'm not going to lie.
I mean, I personally am notlazy, but whatever's going on is
like can I get out of bed?
Oh fuck, I can't even tell you.
That's what I mean.
You need a kickstart man.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
You need a booster, you need a reason to to get out.
But I'm your reason and we'llgo see Uncle Joy, the little
Jewish troll who used to live inmy basement, who's now the
little Jewish troll living inhis ex-wife's basement, which
ex-wife, his latest ex-wife orhis ex-wife?
The latest one's not an ex-wifeyet, but soon will be.
(38:58):
This is the one he was marriedto for like 20 plus years or
something.
Right his original ex-wife yeah,and they're getting along
famously.
So he said oh good, see, joey'skind of like you.
He had surgery in January.
The first couple of days hegoes, oh, I feel so much better,
like I'm supposed to.
This is going to be good.
And all of a sudden then he'snot healing so well and things
(39:19):
are slow for him.
So we've got to get everybodytogether and just get everybody
boosted up and just cheered upagain.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
What do we need to do ?
Yeah, well, I mean, I told thepeople at rehab.
I said you know, this reallyisn't working, because you've
got me at rehab at three weeksout of the surgery and I'm here
what now?
Over six months?
I don't think this is reallyyou know either.
Can you kind of do it so that Ican catch up with myself?
Speaker 2 (39:47):
I don't know if it's not working or just the fact
that some of these things taketime and you didn't start right
away.
You let a lot of time passbefore you started you should
have jumped right into that shitman.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
I know I should have done, but the insurance wouldn't
work.
As jump right into that shitman, I know I should have done,
but the insurance wouldn't work.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
As always, morphine, morphine morphine.
Anything else we got to playbefore we got to go Anything
else?
Are we missing anything?
We got it all More Trump shit.
Are we done with that?
I hope.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
I'm trying.
There's something in the backof my mind now, but oh well,
never mind.
Oh well, listen, I'll tell you.
What I would like to do is askpeople.
Please go to our website,christencostellocom, which I'm
going to rebuild it here shortly, by the way.
It's another one of thosethings.
I'll do that tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
You can do it, man.
Just get up a new day and justgo, let's go.
You get up and just go.
What a great day, let's go.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
Oh God, the beautiful day.
See the weather here.
It's been fabulous.
But anyway, please go there andjust subscribe.
You don't have to pay.
For some reason they put $3 onit.
Well, if you can't afford $3,no biggie.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Be part of the campaign.
Last week's campaign was to getCostello to grow a into his car
, his Sammy wagon and head outwest.
West is best Come to.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Colorado.
This is true, I know my kidswill be happy about that.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Let's go, man.
Come on, you don't have to goback to Vegas to work.
You have to go back to Vegas towork for a bit.
You can ride with me and spendout a week there and then come
back with me.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Do that too, yeah yeah, yeah, there you go, yeah,
yeah.
Well, what do I do with thisplace in the meantime?
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Well, rent it out to Pookie next door and he can rent
it to Pookie and bring hisrelatives over to stay there and
watch it for you.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
There'll be nothing left when you get back.
But you know, hey, that's whatinsurance is for and the and the
animals what do I do?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
what do I do with my animals?
You see, when you get to find apet center, man, just go on the
neighbor thing, the neighborapp, and just just say, hey, I'm
going away for a while, I needsomeone to watch my pets.
I'm going for a month.
You can either watch them inyour house.
I think you can tell youthey'll watch them in their
house.
I mean pets finish everywhereto watch them in their house.
I mean pet centers areeverywhere.
That's a good supplementalincome.
A lot of people are doing thatnow, especially out here,
because we're like in a big dogstate, you know.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Yeah, well, that would be typical.
A little cool you got to showthe Nextdoor app.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
You should do that If not all your neighbors are on
it.
You put out a plea of what youwant south on my dog center,
because I got three dogs.
I don't want to leave me.
I want to bring them to yourplace, you know so does anybody
do that?
And I got like five in part.
Yeah, we got two dogs.
We'll take yours on too.
We'll watch them, and they allget along great.
It's easy.
(42:33):
They become friends, and alsoour dogs are doing as well too.
They're great people.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Okay, we'll go you can do it.
I know I'm sure I can do it.
I mean, lord, I'm sure you gotyour homework you got your
homework, dude, to go do it.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
In the meantime, who's gonna?
Who's gonna bend over this weekbecause he's had a relapse.
He's back on drugs.
It's hunter biden to squeal him.
Hunter, bend over and take itlike a biden.
Oh okay, man do buddy, oh, nowcome on.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
You can do better than that, okay, oh yeah, come
on buddy, come on wheel boy.
Speaker 6 (43:06):
Wheel, wheel Wheel louder, yeah, louder, yeah, you
go Louder.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yeah, does it hurt?
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, oh yeah.
You need some work Louder Doesit hurt.
Get down there, boy, get downthere.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Get down there.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
Took care of him.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
That we did, and that takes care of today's show,
we'll leave you with today'sparting word is prison.
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