June 7, 2024 • 48 mins
Is Donald Trump really just a mischievous child trapped in an adult's body? Join us for a hilarious episode filled with wild stories and sharp satire as we kick off with Chris's terrifying hydroplaning incident on a Utah highway. From near-death experiences to beard grooming disasters and even a muscle tear that derailed his summer plans, Chris takes us on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. But don't worry, we lighten the mood with some laugh-out-loud moments about Chris's grooming mishaps and a brief but entertaining mention of Lizzo.
Next, we're hitting a nostalgic note as we reminisce about the good old days when concert tickets didn't require you to sell a kidney! We'll compare the affordable prices of legendary bands like the Rolling Stones to today's astronomical fees for stars like Olivia Rodrigo. Get ready for a candid take on Lizzo's appearance at the White House, her public persona, and the controversies she's stirred. It's not just about the tunes; it's about the culture and the costs that come with it.
Finally, we dive into the absurd world of political satire. Imagine Donald Trump as a bratty child in our skit "Little Donnie Trump," where he blames "little Joey Biden" for all his mischief. We'll laugh and critique the Trump family's legal troubles and explore speculative political scenarios with our signature blend of humor and insight. From Joe Biden's international blunders to amusing cardiac rehab stories and plans for a radio station, this episode is packed with wit, humor, and candid reflections that you won't want to miss.
Subscribe to 'The Original Canceled Radio Guys' . Go to https://www.ChrisandCostello.com
Email ChrisandCostello@Yahoo.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Trump, trump, trump, diddly-dee, trump, trump, Trump,
trump.
It's all about Trump, diddle,whittle, piddle, dee-dee.
Chris and Costello go overboardand are now serving four years
with House Arreset, plus lots ofother bits like how Chris
nearly died on the highway.
Again, lizzo makes a very briefappearance with her bananas, so
(00:21):
enjoy the original cancelledRadio Guys feature film Trump
and Chris and Costello Do enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hey, how's it going?
This is Chris.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yeah, this is Costello.
Not bad there, but I noticeyou're bandaged.
What did you do this time?
I've got a wounded wing, awounded wing.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Just give you a fair warning If it's raining, don't
drive through Utah.
No, if I get wet.
Crappy bits of the roads there.
But you know it's just, theseare MSJ highways, right?
So if there's rain, you knowit's gonna drain, to mostly a
degree.
There might be a puddle here, asmall puddle, not a friggin
(01:15):
Lake Erie in the middle of theinterstate on I-70.
If you hit that I think I'mgonna like splash the water up
and slow my car down and allthat crap.
No, you hit that and I start ahydro.
I'm doing 75 miles an hour, man, and this thing's fish-tating
like crazy.
I'm going, I'm going, yeah, youdo.
You don't hit the brake, youtry to just turn into it, get
(01:35):
control of it.
I'm going, come on, baby.
Next thing, you know it spins.
I'm going, I'm dangling, andthen it spins me and dumps me in
the freaking ditch in themedium, in the middle, and it
lands hard like that and itstarts spinning in the mud.
Now I can see dirt and mudflying up everywhere.
You know I'm going.
When is this freaking car goingto come to a stop?
(01:57):
I finally stopped and I was inthis covered mud and I kind of
limped up to a service road andthere's nobody around, just me
In mud, and I kind of limped upto a service road and there's
nobody around, just me, themiddle of the street, probably
about 8,000 feet up, and I getout and look at this covered mud
and the bumper's broken.
There's big grass and sticksand mud sticking out of the back
.
The wheel's bent on the backright tire.
I'm going.
That one's screwed.
(02:17):
You know the undercarriage isall screwed up.
So I get up, I'm going.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
I, I get up, I'm going.
Man, I'm sober.
The thing is I just rememberone thing I'm trying to gain
control of the car right.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
You push hard to stir , you're trying hard to work it.
Right, I heard a pop.
You know, I guess I've neverheard a pop in my body before,
right, I guess.
If you hear a pop, that's itand you think, okay, broke the
bone.
Because it was my left arm,which I broke in four different
places when I was a kid.
I thought, oh, maybe it's justfragile.
I popped the bone or I, youknow, I ripped the tendon.
(03:06):
Yeah, I didn't know.
I did like a mother.
Yes, I let it go and when I gothome two days later started to
swell up like an elephant, youknow.
And they tell me I tore amuscle.
I tore a muscle apart.
(03:32):
It's just the weirdest feeling.
That pop is either bone, tendonor muscle, and muscle is the
best way to go.
Apparently, you know, it didn'trequire surgery, just some
physical therapy, and it's goingto be like this for two months,
which means my summer golf touris screwed because I can't play
(03:52):
golf with a left arm.
It won't do crap, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
You have to check out fishing.
That's it.
You can do that.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I can do that.
I feel like I have to dip shit.
I've never had my car.
I'm a really good driver.
I never do that.
I feel like that's a dipshit.
I've never had you know, neverhad my car.
I'm a really good driver.
I never had that.
I like driving fast.
I like I was kind of excitingactually.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Well, you can always tell the professionals from the
amateurs, can't you?
You know how.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I didn't, I didn't kill myself, I didn't
hurt anybody else.
My car's not my car's repaired,already ready to go.
Go back to.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Utah.
You can tell the professionals,because they're the ones that
go Whee.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well, it was kind of fun, I must admit.
See, as long as you know inyour head like you're going to
be okay, it's kind of going.
Okay, I'm spinning, I'm going,if I spin to the right, I'm
going.
Okay, I'm spinning, I'm goingif I spin to the right.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
I'm 8,000 feet square straight up.
What's?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
to the right.
There he said spin me to theleft.
I'm going to go in the medium,ditch in the middle.
So luckily that's where it tookme, Instead of over there.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Good old Utah, Nothing like that place.
I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I think they do that.
The Mormons do that on purpose,just for those Christian people
like me who drive through willget a wreck and just wipe them
out.
You're a non-Mormon, You're anon-white guy.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You're a funny-looking guy.
See, I noticed you I amCaucasian, they go.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You don't look Caucasian, I'm tan, it's June,
okay.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
No, no.
Well, at least See that.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I quit coloring my beard.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I thought you just shaved it.
Okay, well done.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
No, it's just white yeah that's what you need.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
A bit of salt and pepper, like you know.
You were saying what pepper?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
It's all freaking salt Shit.
You know you were saying umwhat pepper?
It's all freaking salt shit.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
we can pepper you know I I would have had a red
beard which is kind of weird wayback when, but obviously then
it came out dark and later Ihaven't seen you grow anything.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
You should let.
You should let it grow.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Let's see what it looks like I did a couple, uh,
couple years ago.
How was it?
I couldn't stand it, I couldn'tstand it, I couldn't stand it.
Why, I don't know.
It just didn't feel clean.
And I'm always doing this.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Once again, this is a sign of like I'm thinking.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Well, yeah, I'm smart .
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I'm thinking, I'm philosophizing, I'm thinking of
something important Not really.
That'll leave the cat in thewashing machine, not really.
Then I'll leave the cat in thewashing machine Shit, let me get
him out.
It's a good idea.
You can do shaving, though.
I mean there's a break fromshaving in this anyway right.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Well, I shave probably every other day and I
do it in the shower.
I haven't used a mirror inyears because I don't like
mirrors.
I just don't.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
That's just the way it scares you.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, yes there's not , I'll get married one day and
just go.
Good, that's how it's me.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
That's why I don't like videos either.
It's not vanity, it's justsanity.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You just don't like video, that's for sure.
So I mean, I grew this so Icould give myself a break from
shaving.
Then I wind up having to colorthis twice a week because the
gray came out so fast.
I'm going.
I got to have a break somewhereso I quit coloring.
You know, it's like you wait,I'll let it grow a little bit
longer.
It's like I trimmed it thismorning.
I was looking pretty ho-ho-hoey.
(07:16):
You know it was like dang, Ican't get a break.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
No, I think it looks better not being darkened,
because I mean it's kind ofobvious when you've got no grey
at all.
What's obvious over 35?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I don't know, I've seen, maybe so.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
I've got to give in sometime.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I did a week ago.
I did the Botox thing up here,can you see it?
I pulled a bit too much up herefor, and for a couple of days I
got droop eye.
You know I'm walking around.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
You see that he had a stroke.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
It's one of the two, yeah many stroke yeah, so it was
like that it's for a couple ofdays it saddles, but it's like
you notice here, take a lookhere, gus, see between here.
See any wrinkles up there.
Yeah, look how smooth that is.
Huh, nope, take that out, baby.
Look how smooth that is.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
See, I got one that goes straight down there like
that.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Boink.
No, my daughter's got that.
She got like a big straightvein that goes in.
But yeah, this has smooth muchbetter that way it is the
cheapest alternative, that's forsure.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, yeah, and it was Trader Joe's.
So I'm actually recycling,which makes me feel better, you
know.
So, of course, now I understand.
I'll just click the lead onthis because I think it's time
we should Jennifer Lopez man,tell me about.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
We should do a survey real quick who feels sorry and
who feels bad for Jennifer Lopez?
You know why.
You know why?
Because she's so driven I stillhave to be relevant, I still
have to be in news all the time.
It's got to be me, me, me.
Everyone's sick of her.
You know, you're over 50.
(09:06):
You still look good for yourage and stuff.
Be happy, you got money, yougot your boyfriend back, you
remarried.
Then you know, I mean, justenjoy, just pick your project
sparingly and do it that wayinstead of like in your face,
your face, every day.
So she put about 20 milliondollars in her own money in a
stupid project.
(09:26):
This is me now.
This is me then.
This is me with ben.
This is this.
This is the concert.
This is me.
Live well, all the concerts arecanceled.
All her her albums a flop.
Her documentaries a flop.
Her movies a flop.
Her husband's pissed because hewrote these letters love
letters to her and he kept themin like a binder.
(09:48):
They called it the Ben and JenBible.
It was just him.
He gave to her.
She took that book of lettersdown to the producer of her
documentary and let him readthem and then they started
putting them into the show.
He was like freaking mortifiedthat she would do that.
I would be too.
Poor Vinette, that's such apersonal thing.
(10:11):
It's like what the hell's wrongwith this woman?
These are trying.
They're living separately forthe moment.
They're going to break.
They're going to try to make itwork.
She's canceled a tour she saidto be with friends and family.
You're damn right.
You better hang out with familyand just try to save things,
(10:31):
couldn't?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yeah, you better hang out with the people you didn't
mention in your little loveletters.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
You know how it goes.
You have your career.
You have a period where you'rereally hot and she's doing a
couple of hot albums, somerom-com movies.
She's the shit.
It lasts for about 10, 15 years.
Then things start to cool andyou take different roles.
Well, she was trying to staythe same as she was during that
period of hotness.
Some people just have troubleletting it go.
(11:02):
Things change.
Brad Pitt's 60 now.
I mean you know he's doing morebehind-the-scenes stuff,
executive producing anddirecting things like that,
instead of like I've got to behere for a little time, just
chill man.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yeah, well that's what it's about man Enjoy life,
and you know it's.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
But yeah, Wouldn't you like to have a break from
Jennifer Lopez?
Isn't it going to be nice notto see her this summer, though I
hope it stays that way.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Wouldn't that be great?
It would be.
It would be.
You know, the ticket I wantedand I dropped the word in my
door.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Harry.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Swift.
Huh, harry Swift.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That that.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Harry Swift.
I do, I do that.
Actually, it was the RollingStones in Vegas, between $70 and
$100 for a ticket.
$70 and $100, yeah, in a smallvenue.
I'm not sure which venue.
It's probably House of Blues orsomething like that.
Well, I can't imagine becauseI've seen them live a couple of
(12:01):
times.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Unless you're like a big, major superstar people so
far for this summer ticket salesnot only for Jennifer Lopez
canceled tour are downeverywhere because they're
charging so much money Like, say, you want to go see Olivia
Rodrigo?
Okay, she's young, she's out ofUtah, she did Drive in the Rain
, obviously you know 22.
But you know her leastexpensive ticket to see Olivia
(12:25):
Rodrigo, who's got maybe two CDsto her name, two or three is
$408.
Speaker 6 (12:34):
I mean, he's freaking nuts.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Who's going to do that?
Well, apparently people are fedup and they're not buying.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
I don't buy it.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Ticket sales.
Unless you're like the Stones,which is like legendary, it's
like you want to go becauseyou're going who's going to drop
dead next?
So I gotta go see him now, youknow you pay for that it's true,
but are you 400 for oliviarodrigo?
No, not yet.
I mean, that's like the priceof eating a taylor swift ticket
and that, that's that's that'sridiculous.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I mean mean, that's stupid.
Do you know what?
Now, this is going back a longtime ago, early 70s.
I went to the London Rock andRoll Show.
It was the second show I'd everbeen to.
In that show they had BoDiddley, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee
(13:23):
Lewis, who's why I really wentto go see him.
So that's those three.
Oh, Bill Haley and his Comets.
He was still alive then, and yousaid you'd go see a 50 show or
something.
Is that what it was?
It was the London Rock and RollShow.
So they had this briefresurgence of all the old rock
and rollers and it was inWembley Stadium and it was
(13:46):
brilliant because Chuck Berryand Little Rich were fighting as
to who should have top billing.
This other guy called ScreamingLord Such who's well, you've
got to go a ways back to findanything by him.
Anyway, he got arrested becausehe has a stripper on stage and
there's actually a bit of himthere.
He turns around and says okay,dear, go ahead, take him off.
So she does, and she getsarrested.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I remember that that's fun stuff.
Let me guess the ticket waswhat?
$10 or something like that, noteven it was a couple of
shillings.
Wow.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Yeah, I know I mean.
Okay, they weren't all top tenartists, but they were just a
few years ago.
I'm trying to remember who elsewas I mean?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
For those who don't know, a couple of shillings in
US dollars is $500.
Oh man, what is a shillingequal to a dollar?
Is a shilling like oh well, 5p.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
5 cents, 10 cents, 10 cents.
What?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
A dime.
You went to see that rock androll show and you paid a dime
for all those people About 75cents Holy crap.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
I know it's incredible Three and six.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Summer tours used to be where artists they didn't
become relevant again, but youhad to see people you remember,
you grew up with and stuff, andthey had fair ticket prices and
they would travel with two orthree other bands of the same
era, you know, and you could gosee your favorite bands, four or
five of them, good hip music,and the tickets were all under
$100, you know, this is just upto last year and a year ago.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
I was going to say they still do that.
You go to some of the smallerareas, particularly around here,
and you'll find these people go.
Oh my God, I remember them.
They're playing Greenville, yougo see them.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
there's only one original member left up there,
yeah exactly.
He was like the flute playerand stuff who the hell is that
guy?
Were left up there.
Yeah, exactly, he was like theflute player.
You know stuff like that.
Who the hell is that guy?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
There was.
They had Bill Haley and hisComets at Bally's for a while.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
The only guy out there was the Comet.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Yeah, and I said, well, who's the exactly, who's
the Comet?
And the drummer stood up.
He said, well, I used to sit inwith them occasionally.
That's, that's about it.
You're not even on my comments.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Like you've got an 80s concert with like four or
five 80s bands.
They're in the 200, 300 levelnow as well too.
They're just going.
Look what everybody else isdoing.
Let's give it a go, Becausethey're playing smaller venues,
like 3,000 people or so.
So they raise their price andpeople just aren't buying.
It's a lot of money, man,People just aren't buying it.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
It's a lot of money.
Man Fluck of Seagulls wasplaying.
I can't remember where that was, but I thought that was
interesting.
They're doing a tour, hey, andyou know who was in the White
House?
Our good friend Lizzo, theoriginal cancelled radio guide.
That's a good thing.
They shouldn't stick it up herass, isn't it?
(16:50):
I mean, you know, up her vagina.
That was coming next.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
Oh was it really, oh, I've been cancelled.
Chris and Costello's podcast,the original cancelled radio
guys, why?
Speaker 3 (17:06):
They had a buffet there or something I'm sure that
they did.
They needed to get rid of thestuff that Trump had left behind
.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
McDonald's hamburgers everywhere, yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I guess she'd been booked before she quit.
It's the presidential honors orsomething.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
We keep getting shit all the time because we made fun
of Lizzo, I think for a shortperiod of time she goes, I'm
going to work on my weight, andthen she goes.
Well, fuck it.
You know, I have a body shamingme and I'm I'm standing up for
people like me.
Well, what we always said wasOK, lizzo, you are a fat pig.
But we did say that I did.
(17:46):
I didn't like her.
I think she's funny, I thinkshe's talented, but the thing is
, it's not body shaming.
I mean, you're stupid, you wantto be that heavy, you're going
to get diabetes, You're going toget heart disease You're going
to die young.
I mean that's stupid.
That ain't body shaming.
That's being stupid.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Well, you don't realize it until you're older,
how quick life goes.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Do what these two people you're looking at are
doing.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
You're looking at two guys on Ozempic.
Oh yeah, yes, indeed, friday'sOzempic Day.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
How long have you been on Ozempic now, costello?
It'll be a month.
You're not at the level yetwhere you start to lose weight,
yet Maybe a little bit.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
I've also.
I'm down to 230-something.
230've lost.
I'm down to 230 something.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
From 230 something right.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Yeah, so I mean I was 245 something before.
Okay, I have lost some weight.
I'm sure that if I exercisemore, I will probably lose even
more.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That just makes it, just enhance, it makes it happen
even faster, you know.
But when you hit month two,when your dosage goes up a
little bit, that's when thingsstart to kind of really drop off
.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, so I have to see the lovely doctor sometime
this week, I think.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Okay, get that weight check.
But if you want to go see agood show this summer, you know,
I would highly recommend.
The group has put out thehottest summer single.
I'm talking about, of course,the Kristen Costello singers
okay.
A summer single?
I'm talking about, of course,the Chris and Costello Singers
okay.
And today we're going tointroduce our brand new song,
(19:18):
the Chris and Costello Singers.
And toward the summer,unconvictable.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
That's what they said .
Who is this about, Chris?
I have no idea Unconvictable.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
We were misled.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
It's not the royal family, is it?
I don't think so.
All his statements weregaslighting us.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Now that his guilt is uniting, us Got me.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Never before has someone been more.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Unelectable More every day.
That's no lie.
I need a cigarette.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Those that we deplore .
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Will fade away.
Been waiting for you Hit thatnote.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
That's why, Donald, it's delectable that someone so
disrespectful has become sounelectable too.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
No, no, I see him Mama.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Would you care for this dance, Mr Bailey?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
I'm going to be you.
Yes, A quick twirl.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oh, and it's over.
Somebody needs a little lessonin how to edit Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
This is a quick little version for our audience.
Ladies and gentlemen, there wego, our latest hit, the Kristen
Costello Singers.
I hope you enjoyed that.
Very good indeed, very tasteful, very well done indeed.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Very goodful, very well done, indeed, very good,
rather.
Yes, yes, yes, I did get thatfucking pen to work eventually,
so that rather helped.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Coming up next will be our follow-up song.
It's the sentencing.
Oh yeah, we can hardly wait.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Well, we'll have to be penning that.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah, we'll have to work on that.
Put his ass in jail, he'll befresh bait.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
He can throw away that key.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
This is too much fun.
I mean the quick question markis.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
That'll be unforgettable.
Have you noticed?
Have you seen pictures of himwhen he was a little boy we're
talking about?
I guess you might have figuredout what we're talking about
Trump, and of course, our Arabfriends know who he is.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
but they're trying to divert the attention because
the Hunter Biden trial startedtoday too.
But you've got to remember theHunter.
Biden trial.
You've got to remember theHunter Biden trial is not
President Biden.
Okay, it's his son.
It's like any kid you do yourbest, you raise him, things
happen, it's not on him.
Of course, we're probably goingto try to make it say look,
(22:37):
he's crooked too, it's his son.
It's not the president, okay,it's a big difference.
All right, looking forward tothe sentencing on July the 11th.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
That'll be a good day , but you, you know, I saw a
picture actually of littleDonnie Trump.
It is an actual picture of him.
And you know, his mouth isround, I guess they realize he's
round for the rest of his life.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
What do you think that is?
What do you think goes in there?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Well, that's like I said, a good little cocksucker.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, it's not Oscar Mayer Sure.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Everything's too small on him.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well, with him it all started as a kid, anyway, Even
as little Donnie.
He was a turd, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yes, yes, and we found this shall we?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
It's another episode of Little Donnie Trump.
This is where it all began as abrat.
Welcome of Little Donnie Trump.
This is where it all began as abrat.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Welcome to Little Donnie Trump.
Now let's join the Trump familyin their home in 1951.
Speaker 6 (23:42):
Okay, children, today we're going to learn about the
alphabet.
I'm going to teach you all ofthe letters of the uh, you, oh,
god, what?
Speaker 4 (23:51):
does that smell?
Uh, teacher, it wasn't me, itmust've been some other kid.
Well, you're very quick to denyit's you, little Donnie, but
I'm standing right next to youand it smells like you pooped
your pants.
No, teacher, I've never poopedin my pants, like no one ever
didn't poop in their pantsbefore, and everybody knows it.
This their pants before, andeverybody knows it.
This is a hoax, okay littleDonnie, you've lied enough.
Speaker 6 (24:20):
I'm calling your mommy to come get you Fake news,
Fake poop Fred little Donniewas sent home from kindergarten
again today.
Speaker 7 (24:22):
Oh no, what's he done this?
Speaker 6 (24:23):
time dear.
Well, he pooped his pants forone thing, but as bad as it was
and it was really horrific,that's not the worst of it.
He lied and blamed another kidfor doing it.
Speaker 7 (24:32):
What do you mean, dear?
Speaker 6 (24:33):
He told the teacher that his classmate little Joey
Biden, took a shit in littleDonnie's pants to make little
Donnie look bad.
It's such an obvious andridiculous lie that I don't even
know where to start.
Speaker 7 (24:45):
And let me guess he's sticking to his ridiculous
story and refuses to admit hepooped his own pants.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
Yes, fred, this child's ludicrous lies are
driving me to drink.
Speaker 7 (24:54):
Well then, I guess it's time for me and little
Donnie to have a little chat.
Here we go.
Little Donnie, you and I needto talk.
Your mother tells me you gotsent home from kindergarten
again for pooping in your pants.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
Oh, shut the fuck up, dad, I didn't poop in my pants.
Little Joey Biden did it.
This is a witch hunt and afraud and a scam.
Speaker 7 (25:14):
Now, little Donnie, you know that's ridiculous and
nobody believes.
Another kid somehow managed topoop in your pants.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Dad, this is just another hoax.
First there was poopy pantshoax number one.
Now there's poopy pants hoaxnumber two.
I'm telling you, little JoeyBiden pooped in my pants because
he hates little Donnie Trump.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
Well, little Donnie, your story is incredibly stupid
and your relentless denials arehilariously fucked up, but I'm
proud of you, son.
Lying and blaming others, evenin the face of obvious
culpability, is the Trump familyway.
And oh my God, what is thatawful smell?
Speaker 4 (25:49):
That's a dad.
Little Joey Biden just poopedin my pants again.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
Here's a highlight from next week's episode.
Speaker 7 (25:59):
Mrs Trump, we need you to come pick up little
Donnie.
He's pooped his pants again forthe third time this week, and
it's only Tuesday.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
Be sure to tune in next week for another episode of
Little Donnie Trump.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Yeah, don't forget folks, Little Donnie Trump, I
wonder.
Number four will probably be,like you said, conviction,
conviction.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
There you go, ladies and gentlemen.
That's the Chris and CostelloPlayers.
We'll have another episode foryou next week, okay?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Amazing.
Our players are really God.
They're so talented.
They just send me these things.
It's great.
No pun are really God.
They're so talented, they justsend me these things, it's great
.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
No pun intended, but I'm smelling Grammy Award here,
I'm smelling an Emmy.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I'm smelling an.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Oscar, I'm just smelling the shit in his pants.
Is what I'm smelling.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
We could get a lovey.
A lovey which is the InternetAwards.
Now.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I think you leak that a little bit.
A little turd.
Every time, every guilty, all34 of them, guilty, yeah, guilty
, oh, guilty, oh good.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Oh guilty.
I wonder if they, you know ifthey did put him in jail, which
I think is very unlikely now.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
It's very unlikely.
Yeah, yeah, I think it happened.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
But if they put a gag order on him and if they put a
say like a house arrest, I mean,that's the thing I hope they do
a home confinement.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
He can't go out and do one of his stupid-ass rallies
, you know, right, with thethird-grade followers he's got
and Millennium's going to begoing.
I'm going on vacation in Europefor a while until that damn
ankle bracelet comes off, youknow, or until he stops
breathing.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
I have honestly woken up for the last.
What 12 years now wishing everymorning that when I turn on the
news it'll be Trump died lastnight from an overdose of
chicken nuggets.
But you know, I think we mightbe getting.
Well, we're obviously gettingcloser.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
The scary part I think, is that I mean, they're
just naturally they.
They eat like crap.
He's overweight, oh he'sterrible.
I think his dad lived to be inhis 90s or something.
So I mean I'm going God if hefollows in those footsteps, holy
crap.
Yeah, I know, I'm going tomarry this guy, you know.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
But his dad was a felt, relatively healthy-looking
man, whereas Donnie Jr here isLiving off Kentucky Fried
Chicken.
He ain't 230 pounds anymore.
That's damn sure Not even close.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
He never walked.
He's a tall guy, but he's a bigboy, though he's a pig boy.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Pig boy, Come on.
Pig boy, Squeal boy.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I mean they're all 34 of those Guilties.
You can just see the littleshit come out each time he did
guilty.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
I have to say this you know maybe some of our
listeners are going why are yougoing on about Trump and all
that?
You have to realize that thisis a huge mark in history.
You know they haven't exactlybeen letting off fireworks or
anything yet, but one way or theother this will be remembered
in history for maybe 200 years,maybe more, maybe less, I don't
(28:59):
know.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well, you know, we were just kind of going along as
a country pretty good until heran for president and he won for
president.
Yeah, things have changed.
We were short of temper withpeople.
We called people names.
We never did before.
He wasn't there for thetransfer of power.
It's never happened before.
From one outgoing president toa new president, he refused to
(29:20):
go the riots.
I just take these things off ofmy finger.
I'm just going God, all thishistory and tradition we have,
which is nothing like you guysgot in Europe.
But we're trying and it's allscrewed up.
If he wins again, it's going tobe even worse this time.
So it's the revenge tour, youknow yeah yeah, I just wonder
(29:46):
you know I mean it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I mean, and then you know, if they stopped for five
minutes and thought wait aminute, this man has absolutely
no platform to stand on.
We don't even know who his VPis, which he should have.
Oh, I guess that would be atthis next big rally thing that's
coming up, which is on the 11thas well, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I guess it's not going to be called the dog
killer anymore, so I don't knowwho it's going to be.
It really doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Well, yeah, exactly, it doesn't matter.
So for all our listeners wekind of apologize, but consider
this historic.
Okay, because it is.
I mean, nothing's been asstupid as this ever Ever.
I'm surprised.
I mean nothing's been as stupidas this ever ever.
I'm surprised.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I hate to say it, but I'm surprised there's that many
Americans who are that freakingstupid who would vote for a
self-centered, me, me, me, idiot, psychotic guy like that.
It's just scary, you know, Iunderstand.
If you want other thingschanges, just go with the.
Just follow the policies.
Okay, I mean I wish we had ayounger guy than Biden.
(30:55):
That would be great, but it'sjust not the case right now.
You have to look at it nomatter what you want, it's going
to be those two guys and youhave to pick one of those two
guys.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Well, maybe, unless, of course, something does happen
to Trump.
But I mean, this is thestrangest thing.
You've basically got one guystanding for election because I
mean Trump, he shouldn't beeligible, although they say he
might be, or he is right.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
I mean this is Well, he can still run right now.
He hasn't been convicted of afederal crime yet, so he's not
going to get those trials beforeelection day.
So that's a federal crime yet.
So they're not going to getthose trials before Election Day
.
That's a moot point.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Anyway, he's going to have to lose based on what's
happened so far.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
They have a debate, don't forget they actually have
a debate at the end of thismonth.
This is really early for adebate.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
This should be fun, but no, he's a felon now.
Those were felons, yeah he's afelon.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Now, those were felons.
Yeah, he is a felon.
We got songs for felons.
We got so much material comingyour way.
You guys just get used to it.
Okay, we got so much stuffcoming.
I'm looking at our video thinghere on our podcast.
I feel like one of those idiotson the Fox talking thing where
they got all the talking headsthere going, you know.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
So we have this presser from his press
conference today and it was anhour of just stupid bullshit and
we love bullshit, so here we go.
Speaker 8 (32:23):
The judge was a tyrant and you got to see that
with Bob Costello.
A fine man.
I've never seen anything likeit, and you got to see that with
Bob Costello.
A fine man Yep got to be.
I've never seen anything likeit, and neither has anybody that
was in that courthouse where hedemanded that the courthouse be
cleared.
Now the good news is most ofthe people in the courthouse
were the media and anybody thatwas in the media of your affair.
(32:44):
You'll say, wow, that was anger, that was crazed, he was crazed
.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Well, he should know about that, shouldn't he?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
He's sounding tired, older and angry, you know, and
he's making fun of a judge whohasn't sentenced him yet and
anything he says could affecthis sentencing.
So I say to him please keep itup.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Oh, it's too good to be true.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
You couldn't write it .
Call in some more, David.
Let's hear some more.
This is too good.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
It's sheer anger.
It's sheer anger, and so hecontinued.
Speaker 8 (33:22):
And the reason that Bob Costello acted a little bit
upset which I think he has aright to, acted a little bit
upset, which I think he has aright to was that every question
he was being asked was beingobjected to by the other side
and sustained by the judgeSustained, sustained, sustained.
I think he did it many times, Idon't know what the number.
(33:43):
Many times Even I was sittingthere saying and these were
basic questions and I never sawanybody treated that way by a
judge and I've been treated verybadly by two other judges also.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
Two other judges.
Yeah, he's been treated sobadly?
I'm starting to feel sorry forhim.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
You know what?
His biggest problem with thisjudge is?
The judge's first name, Juan.
That's his problem, oh yeah.
Speaker 8 (34:10):
Think about it Yep, yep, yep yep, yep, yep, carry on
, it's all right carry on out ofthe white house crooked joe
biden, the worst president inthe history of our country.
He's the worst president in thehistory of our country the most
incompetent.
He's the dumbest presidentwe've ever had.
Oh yeah, Is he talking abouthimself?
(34:30):
I think so yeah.
Most incompetent president andhe's the most dishonest
president we've ever had.
The judge was a tyrant thereyou go Call him a name again.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Good.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Good.
So here's the thing.
Right, here's the thing.
There's a thing calledmirroring, which is a little
hard to say, but it's true, it'sa psychiatrist's term.
The people who do these thingsthen just turn around and stick
it on the other person, and Ihad an ex who did that and said
(35:02):
wait a minute.
These are all the things I saidto you.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I think he's forgetting as well too.
Like this is like Americandemocracy you sit there calling
out the judge, this all theseguilty birds came from a jury, a
jury selected by both sides inpartial jury.
So it's not the judge, it's notthe Democrats, it's a jury.
That's what it's all about.
(35:33):
And they found you guilty.
When he's going do you?
How you do this to me?
Oh so you're.
You don't you break the law,but you're not supposed to get
in trouble for it while the restof us do so.
That's a.
He's shocked.
It happened to him.
What a freaking idiot.
Speaker 8 (35:41):
Okay, go ahead he comes in and he approves it and
he gets three and a half million, meaning three and a half
million is paid to the familyhis family from the mayor of
Moscow's wife.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
I don't know what he's talking about.
What are you talking about?
Speaker 8 (35:58):
He wants to talk about it.
Trump's a very big danger toour country, you are.
The only way they think theycan win this election is by
doing exactly what they're doingright now win it in the courts,
because they can't win it atthe ballot box.
Dead, he comes in and heapproves it.
Oh sorry.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
It's actually.
Speaker 8 (36:21):
I don't know.
It's something where I'm wiredin such a way that a lot of
people would have gone away along time ago.
They would have gone away afterimpeachment hoax number one.
That was a total hoax.
Great support from theRepublican Party, though.
Then you had impeachment hoaxnumber two, and then they formed
the committee.
How about they form thecommittee of thugs, the J6
(36:42):
committee of thugs, the J6committee of thugs?
Speaker 3 (36:47):
Okay, I can't.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
I can't take much more.
People go to rallies and hespews the same shit and they sit
there and cheer this crap on herambles.
He makes no sense.
If it's against him's evil,it's bad.
You know well.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Like I said, meet him good everybody else evil, you
know, and even though I've doneit, you did it before me, so
that makes it worse.
Because you really did it,although you said you didn't
because you didn't.
And because you did it meansthat means that I did.
But I'm not going to tell youthat, because if I tell you that
, that'll mean that I did do it,but I didn't.
(37:24):
Honestly I didn't, it wasn't me.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
You should be happy.
You're making absolutely nofrigging sense, just like him.
I don't know what the fuckyou're saying.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Well, here's the crux .
It was somebody else, it wasJoe Biden.
That's right.
It was Joe Biden and his wifewho did all these things,
because all the Republicanpeople, they're all behind me,
they all love me.
That's a good point.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
He goes that Biden was the mastermind behind all
this.
On one end of the scale, hegoes he's a senile old fool
who's dumb and can't do anything, but on the other hand, he's
smart enough to come up withthis whole big scheme to put
your ass in jail.
You know you contradictyourself.
I mean, you just back rightinto it, buddy, you back right
(38:10):
into that one.
So yeah, it's all crooked.
Joe Biden came up with thiswhole thing.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Oh, yeah, yeah, he made it.
Let's also cast the time back alittle bit further and I need
to do a little bit of researchon this before I get into it.
But do you remember the manytrips he made abroad and the
faux pas that he made, otherthan stealing from Buckingham
Palace?
I think it was?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, stealingstuff from there?
(38:37):
He had to return it, alsotouching the Queen.
God rest their soul.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
You don't do that, I mean, I think that was the one
time the queen actually shit herpants.
It was going to be hey, judgeEw.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
If one must.
If one must, I mean, that waswhen it was still semi-lucent,
at least, but oh my.
And then, of course, they hadthe flying Trump out there,
which we saw.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
That was the funniest damn thing I've ever seen.
I love that.
Whoever came up with that wasgreat.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
And then he goes to North Korea North Korea, not
South Korea.
North Korea has a privateconversation with King Jong-un,
which is I can't remember whichone it is, but the one who's I
mean he locks the doors, doesn'teven have a guy from the Secret
Service or the Foreign Officethere, nobody.
(39:36):
And who knows what he promised.
I think he was trying to buybeachfront property personally.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
I think if Kim Jong-un had any balls about him,
he could have wiped him outright then.
All of a sudden, north Koreawould have been America's
favorite allied country.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Yes, yeah, they missed that opportunity.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
We'd have had a parade down Fifth Avenue in New
York.
Kim Jong-un, our hero.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Well, you know, putin could have done the same thing.
When they had their little Tateart set, they were buddies and
whisper, whisper.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
This guy's too much fun.
We're going to have fun withthis puppet.
Let him run, let him go, givehim all the milk he wants, let
him up in the room.
There at Red Square they getthat golden showers going, you
know.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
I'll just ring my depends out over you, okay.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
This is going to be our next Kristen Costello singer
song the golden showers.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Golden showers for little Donnie.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Lyrics are dancing in my head already.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
Oh, good, do write them down.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Do you want to play more of this nonsense, or have
you heard enough?
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Oh, I really have had enough.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
I think we all have Screw that stuff Before we wrap
up the show.
I forgot to ask you, costello.
So what's new in your life?
So I had a car accident, scaredthe shit out of me At the time.
Halfway through I started going.
I'm kind of having fun withthis.
I'm just kind of like it's kindof funny.
I was spinning around so fast Iwasn't quite sure if I was
(41:12):
going to wind up pointing at atruck.
I'm going to be going over theditch, I'm going to drop 8,000
feet, but it was exhilarating.
I didn't shit my pants.
I didn't do that either.
I exhilarating, you know.
So I didn't shit my pants anddo that either.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
So I enjoyed it Well, that's a good thing.
I'm glad to hear that.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
And my car survived.
So what's new with?
Speaker 3 (41:25):
you.
So what's new?
Well, you know what a crazydizzy life I have been having
for a while.
Let me see Rehab.
That's a blast.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Oh, that's so much fun.
You have to explain that whenyou have rehab, you can do rehab
as many things.
You can be in rehab because youhave an alcohol addiction
problem.
You can be in rehab becauseyou're a sex addict.
You can be in rehab because youhave a thing for goats.
I mean, it's just like.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
My rehab is cardiac rehab.
Ah, for the old heart and allthe bits around it.
When you go to cardiac rehab,what is it?
Speaker 2 (42:06):
that you do?
What do you do?
What do they make you do?
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Not much.
I sit on these machines forfive minutes.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
You do cardio machines, that's it.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
A cardio machine is one of those things you sit on
and it's like a bicycle.
You don't go anywhere, you justyou know.
And then there's another onethat you use your arms and your
legs, then there's another onethat you use just your legs in a
slightly different manner.
So that's three machines, andthen you're supposed to walk
(42:38):
around the room for five minutes.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
I hope your insurance is paying for that.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
Oh hell, yeah, they better be, because I sure as
hell wouldn't pay for this.
I'd sleep with you, bullshit.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
It probably would have made sense more if you'd
done the rehab after the surgery, because then you've got to
build things back up.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
Oh yeah.
No, I'm way past that I mightjust say.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
You're a little bit late to the party.
You're behind.
You're like held back a grade,you know.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Yeah, at least that was the insurance people.
Oh well, you know, hey, I getout of the house, I get to watch
the old folks with their oxygentanks walk around the room.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Oh, so you meet some hot babes at rehab.
Oh yeah.
Well, the nurses are cute.
I always like the ones thatwalk around with the oxygen
tanks.
They got the tank they'repulling in the right hand by
holding a cigarette in the lefthand.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
Yeah, that used to be in Vegas.
That was at Sunrise Hospitalalways.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I see it all the time .
I'm just going.
Let me just take it a littlebit closer.
Do us all a favor.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Just go up in flames.
You know, up there you go, wellthat.
And then you have to go in andhave a little talk and about.
Actually today was quiteinteresting, but, um, there's
nothing that I really didn'tknow before, and not that I know
everything, but after a certainpoint you kind of get to know
stuff and um, and that's it, andit goes on ten weeks.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
I'm happy that you now know stuff.
That's important.
I know stuff.
I know stuff.
I'll be spending the week herein Colorado doing a couple of
things and off to have thecancer survivors party I go to
every year.
It's this weekend.
I'm in Vail Looking forward tothat, and then from there I'll
head back to Vegas for a coupleof weeks.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Of work, whatever.
Actually back to Vegas for acouple weeks Of work, whatever.
You know what.
The gray beard looks prettygood, Matt, now that the lines
have changed.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
I'm trying to get used to it.
If I wasn't tan, I think Iwould look pretty Weird.
That's what I would look like.
I heard the good word, yeah.
I guess I could Come on let itgrow, costello, let's do it,
let's do no shaming.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
That's like three weeks for me.
That's about three weeks growthfor me.
Let it go.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Let's see what you get.
All right.
All right, we will, we will.
Let's check it out, let it grow.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
We need to give people a reason to listen to
this podcast.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
I know we've done the Trump thing.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
I just think the more we cover, our faces up, the
higher chance we have of gettingmore views on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Look at this guy, Jesus, they're probably going.
Kristen Costello, the originalcanceled ugly radio guys, and so
well you know.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
You know, perhaps next week we could do our own
personal top fives, like we weresupposed to do for this week.
But hey, who knew, Trump wasgoing to take over everything.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Well, it's out of our system, at least for this week,
so we'll do that stuff nextweek.
So next week we'll be back tooriginal programming, okay, oh
whoa, hey, beautiful downtownBurbank, that's right original
programming with KristenCostello next week.
I did enjoy the KristenCostello singers and the Kristen
Costello players.
That's true, very good.
(45:44):
The only boring part of theshow was playing the actual
Trump press conference from theTrump Tower.
That sucked, yeah, because itwas actually done by him.
We should have had the KristenCostello players do the press
conference our way.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
Well, you know what?
Speaker 5 (46:03):
What.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Well, you know what, what we can edit here?
You, having said that, nowgives me the right to get the
edit tool out.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Oh my God, he's going to whip out the edit tool.
Last time we did that, he hadto spend six months in the city
jail.
That's right.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
Yes, yes, indeed.
Well, I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Hey want to see my edit tool.
Here it is.
I got your edit tool rightthere, that's it.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
You squeal at the pain.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Hey, spank my tool.
Go on hit it, Spank that tool.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
Hey, listen, folks who are still actually at this
end of the podcast, which ispretty amazing don't forget to
subscribe.
You don't have to pay, Justsubscribe so we know you're
there.
Okay, We'd appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Appreciate that.
Yeah, we would.
We're worldwide folks, chrisand Kat's Social worldwide.
Wherever you get your podcastsat, you will find us.
Okay, we'll be the onesscreaming yes.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
Soon we will have our very own radio station, station
Trump.
No, it won't be that, that'sfor sure.
The original canceled radio,there you go.
We could save an awful lot onprinting, definitely so.
So what's the word to finish itoff there?
Bailey, you know I.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Gigolo.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
Gigolo J-Lo, oh, j-lo , oh.
Okay, bye, j-lo.
Trump, trump, trump, diddly-dee, trump, trump, Trump,
trump.
It's all about Trump, diddle,whittle, piddle, dee-dee.
Chris and Costello go overboardand are now serving four years
with House Arreset, plus lots ofother bits like how Chris
nearly died on the highway.
Again, lizzo makes a very briefappearance with her bananas, so
(00:21):
enjoy the original cancelledRadio Guys feature film Trump
and Chris and Costello Do enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hey, how's it going?
This is Chris.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yeah, this is Costello.
Not bad there, but I noticeyou're bandaged.
What did you do this time?
I've got a wounded wing, awounded wing.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Just give you a fair warning If it's raining, don't
drive through Utah.
No, if I get wet.
Crappy bits of the roads there.
But you know it's just, theseare MSJ highways, right?
So if there's rain, you knowit's gonna drain, to mostly a
degree.
There might be a puddle here, asmall puddle, not a friggin
(01:15):
Lake Erie in the middle of theinterstate on I-70.
If you hit that I think I'mgonna like splash the water up
and slow my car down and allthat crap.
No, you hit that and I start ahydro.
I'm doing 75 miles an hour, man, and this thing's fish-tating
like crazy.
I'm going, I'm going, yeah, youdo.
You don't hit the brake, youtry to just turn into it, get
(01:35):
control of it.
I'm going, come on, baby.
Next thing, you know it spins.
I'm going, I'm dangling, andthen it spins me and dumps me in
the freaking ditch in themedium, in the middle, and it
lands hard like that and itstarts spinning in the mud.
Now I can see dirt and mudflying up everywhere.
You know I'm going.
When is this freaking car goingto come to a stop?
(01:57):
I finally stopped and I was inthis covered mud and I kind of
limped up to a service road andthere's nobody around, just me
In mud, and I kind of limped upto a service road and there's
nobody around, just me, themiddle of the street, probably
about 8,000 feet up, and I getout and look at this covered mud
and the bumper's broken.
There's big grass and sticksand mud sticking out of the back
.
The wheel's bent on the backright tire.
I'm going.
That one's screwed.
(02:17):
You know the undercarriage isall screwed up.
So I get up, I'm going.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
I, I get up, I'm going.
Man, I'm sober.
The thing is I just rememberone thing I'm trying to gain
control of the car right.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
You push hard to stir , you're trying hard to work it.
Right, I heard a pop.
You know, I guess I've neverheard a pop in my body before,
right, I guess.
If you hear a pop, that's itand you think, okay, broke the
bone.
Because it was my left arm,which I broke in four different
places when I was a kid.
I thought, oh, maybe it's justfragile.
I popped the bone or I, youknow, I ripped the tendon.
(03:06):
Yeah, I didn't know.
I did like a mother.
Yes, I let it go and when I gothome two days later started to
swell up like an elephant, youknow.
And they tell me I tore amuscle.
I tore a muscle apart.
(03:32):
It's just the weirdest feeling.
That pop is either bone, tendonor muscle, and muscle is the
best way to go.
Apparently, you know, it didn'trequire surgery, just some
physical therapy, and it's goingto be like this for two months,
which means my summer golf touris screwed because I can't play
(03:52):
golf with a left arm.
It won't do crap, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
You have to check out fishing.
That's it.
You can do that.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I can do that.
I feel like I have to dip shit.
I've never had my car.
I'm a really good driver.
I never do that.
I feel like that's a dipshit.
I've never had you know, neverhad my car.
I'm a really good driver.
I never had that.
I like driving fast.
I like I was kind of excitingactually.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Well, you can always tell the professionals from the
amateurs, can't you?
You know how.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I didn't, I didn't kill myself, I didn't
hurt anybody else.
My car's not my car's repaired,already ready to go.
Go back to.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Utah.
You can tell the professionals,because they're the ones that
go Whee.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well, it was kind of fun, I must admit.
See, as long as you know inyour head like you're going to
be okay, it's kind of going.
Okay, I'm spinning, I'm going,if I spin to the right, I'm
going.
Okay, I'm spinning, I'm goingif I spin to the right.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
I'm 8,000 feet square straight up.
What's?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
to the right.
There he said spin me to theleft.
I'm going to go in the medium,ditch in the middle.
So luckily that's where it tookme, Instead of over there.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Good old Utah, Nothing like that place.
I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I think they do that.
The Mormons do that on purpose,just for those Christian people
like me who drive through willget a wreck and just wipe them
out.
You're a non-Mormon, You're anon-white guy.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You're a funny-looking guy.
See, I noticed you I amCaucasian, they go.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You don't look Caucasian, I'm tan, it's June,
okay.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
No, no.
Well, at least See that.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I quit coloring my beard.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I thought you just shaved it.
Okay, well done.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
No, it's just white yeah that's what you need.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
A bit of salt and pepper, like you know.
You were saying what pepper?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
It's all freaking salt Shit.
You know you were saying umwhat pepper?
It's all freaking salt shit.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
we can pepper you know I I would have had a red
beard which is kind of weird wayback when, but obviously then
it came out dark and later Ihaven't seen you grow anything.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
You should let.
You should let it grow.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Let's see what it looks like I did a couple, uh,
couple years ago.
How was it?
I couldn't stand it, I couldn'tstand it, I couldn't stand it.
Why, I don't know.
It just didn't feel clean.
And I'm always doing this.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Once again, this is a sign of like I'm thinking.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Well, yeah, I'm smart .
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I'm thinking, I'm philosophizing, I'm thinking of
something important Not really.
That'll leave the cat in thewashing machine, not really.
Then I'll leave the cat in thewashing machine Shit, let me get
him out.
It's a good idea.
You can do shaving, though.
I mean there's a break fromshaving in this anyway right.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Well, I shave probably every other day and I
do it in the shower.
I haven't used a mirror inyears because I don't like
mirrors.
I just don't.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
That's just the way it scares you.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, yes there's not , I'll get married one day and
just go.
Good, that's how it's me.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
That's why I don't like videos either.
It's not vanity, it's justsanity.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You just don't like video, that's for sure.
So I mean, I grew this so Icould give myself a break from
shaving.
Then I wind up having to colorthis twice a week because the
gray came out so fast.
I'm going.
I got to have a break somewhereso I quit coloring.
You know, it's like you wait,I'll let it grow a little bit
longer.
It's like I trimmed it thismorning.
I was looking pretty ho-ho-hoey.
(07:16):
You know it was like dang, Ican't get a break.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
No, I think it looks better not being darkened,
because I mean it's kind ofobvious when you've got no grey
at all.
What's obvious over 35?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I don't know, I've seen, maybe so.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
I've got to give in sometime.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I did a week ago.
I did the Botox thing up here,can you see it?
I pulled a bit too much up herefor, and for a couple of days I
got droop eye.
You know I'm walking around.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
You see that he had a stroke.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
It's one of the two, yeah many stroke yeah, so it was
like that it's for a couple ofdays it saddles, but it's like
you notice here, take a lookhere, gus, see between here.
See any wrinkles up there.
Yeah, look how smooth that is.
Huh, nope, take that out, baby.
Look how smooth that is.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
See, I got one that goes straight down there like
that.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Boink.
No, my daughter's got that.
She got like a big straightvein that goes in.
But yeah, this has smooth muchbetter that way it is the
cheapest alternative, that's forsure.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, yeah, and it was Trader Joe's.
So I'm actually recycling,which makes me feel better, you
know.
So, of course, now I understand.
I'll just click the lead onthis because I think it's time
we should Jennifer Lopez man,tell me about.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
We should do a survey real quick who feels sorry and
who feels bad for Jennifer Lopez?
You know why.
You know why?
Because she's so driven I stillhave to be relevant, I still
have to be in news all the time.
It's got to be me, me, me.
Everyone's sick of her.
You know, you're over 50.
(09:06):
You still look good for yourage and stuff.
Be happy, you got money, yougot your boyfriend back, you
remarried.
Then you know, I mean, justenjoy, just pick your project
sparingly and do it that wayinstead of like in your face,
your face, every day.
So she put about 20 milliondollars in her own money in a
stupid project.
(09:26):
This is me now.
This is me then.
This is me with ben.
This is this.
This is the concert.
This is me.
Live well, all the concerts arecanceled.
All her her albums a flop.
Her documentaries a flop.
Her movies a flop.
Her husband's pissed because hewrote these letters love
letters to her and he kept themin like a binder.
(09:48):
They called it the Ben and JenBible.
It was just him.
He gave to her.
She took that book of lettersdown to the producer of her
documentary and let him readthem and then they started
putting them into the show.
He was like freaking mortifiedthat she would do that.
I would be too.
Poor Vinette, that's such apersonal thing.
(10:11):
It's like what the hell's wrongwith this woman?
These are trying.
They're living separately forthe moment.
They're going to break.
They're going to try to make itwork.
She's canceled a tour she saidto be with friends and family.
You're damn right.
You better hang out with familyand just try to save things,
(10:31):
couldn't?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yeah, you better hang out with the people you didn't
mention in your little loveletters.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
You know how it goes.
You have your career.
You have a period where you'rereally hot and she's doing a
couple of hot albums, somerom-com movies.
She's the shit.
It lasts for about 10, 15 years.
Then things start to cool andyou take different roles.
Well, she was trying to staythe same as she was during that
period of hotness.
Some people just have troubleletting it go.
(11:02):
Things change.
Brad Pitt's 60 now.
I mean you know he's doing morebehind-the-scenes stuff,
executive producing anddirecting things like that,
instead of like I've got to behere for a little time, just
chill man.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yeah, well that's what it's about man Enjoy life,
and you know it's.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
But yeah, Wouldn't you like to have a break from
Jennifer Lopez?
Isn't it going to be nice notto see her this summer, though I
hope it stays that way.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Wouldn't that be great?
It would be.
It would be.
You know, the ticket I wantedand I dropped the word in my
door.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Harry.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Swift.
Huh, harry Swift.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That that.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Harry Swift.
I do, I do that.
Actually, it was the RollingStones in Vegas, between $70 and
$100 for a ticket.
$70 and $100, yeah, in a smallvenue.
I'm not sure which venue.
It's probably House of Blues orsomething like that.
Well, I can't imagine becauseI've seen them live a couple of
(12:01):
times.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Unless you're like a big, major superstar people so
far for this summer ticket salesnot only for Jennifer Lopez
canceled tour are downeverywhere because they're
charging so much money Like, say, you want to go see Olivia
Rodrigo?
Okay, she's young, she's out ofUtah, she did Drive in the Rain
, obviously you know 22.
But you know her leastexpensive ticket to see Olivia
(12:25):
Rodrigo, who's got maybe two CDsto her name, two or three is
$408.
Speaker 6 (12:34):
I mean, he's freaking nuts.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Who's going to do that?
Well, apparently people are fedup and they're not buying.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
I don't buy it.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Ticket sales.
Unless you're like the Stones,which is like legendary, it's
like you want to go becauseyou're going who's going to drop
dead next?
So I gotta go see him now, youknow you pay for that it's true,
but are you 400 for oliviarodrigo?
No, not yet.
I mean, that's like the priceof eating a taylor swift ticket
and that, that's that's that'sridiculous.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I mean mean, that's stupid.
Do you know what?
Now, this is going back a longtime ago, early 70s.
I went to the London Rock andRoll Show.
It was the second show I'd everbeen to.
In that show they had BoDiddley, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee
(13:23):
Lewis, who's why I really wentto go see him.
So that's those three.
Oh, Bill Haley and his Comets.
He was still alive then, and yousaid you'd go see a 50 show or
something.
Is that what it was?
It was the London Rock and RollShow.
So they had this briefresurgence of all the old rock
and rollers and it was inWembley Stadium and it was
(13:46):
brilliant because Chuck Berryand Little Rich were fighting as
to who should have top billing.
This other guy called ScreamingLord Such who's well, you've
got to go a ways back to findanything by him.
Anyway, he got arrested becausehe has a stripper on stage and
there's actually a bit of himthere.
He turns around and says okay,dear, go ahead, take him off.
So she does, and she getsarrested.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I remember that that's fun stuff.
Let me guess the ticket waswhat?
$10 or something like that, noteven it was a couple of
shillings.
Wow.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Yeah, I know I mean.
Okay, they weren't all top tenartists, but they were just a
few years ago.
I'm trying to remember who elsewas I mean?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
For those who don't know, a couple of shillings in
US dollars is $500.
Oh man, what is a shillingequal to a dollar?
Is a shilling like oh well, 5p.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
5 cents, 10 cents, 10 cents.
What?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
A dime.
You went to see that rock androll show and you paid a dime
for all those people About 75cents Holy crap.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
I know it's incredible Three and six.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Summer tours used to be where artists they didn't
become relevant again, but youhad to see people you remember,
you grew up with and stuff, andthey had fair ticket prices and
they would travel with two orthree other bands of the same
era, you know, and you could gosee your favorite bands, four or
five of them, good hip music,and the tickets were all under
$100, you know, this is just upto last year and a year ago.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
I was going to say they still do that.
You go to some of the smallerareas, particularly around here,
and you'll find these people go.
Oh my God, I remember them.
They're playing Greenville, yougo see them.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
there's only one original member left up there,
yeah exactly.
He was like the flute playerand stuff who the hell is that
guy?
Were left up there.
Yeah, exactly, he was like theflute player.
You know stuff like that.
Who the hell is that guy?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
There was.
They had Bill Haley and hisComets at Bally's for a while.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
The only guy out there was the Comet.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Yeah, and I said, well, who's the exactly, who's
the Comet?
And the drummer stood up.
He said, well, I used to sit inwith them occasionally.
That's, that's about it.
You're not even on my comments.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Like you've got an 80s concert with like four or
five 80s bands.
They're in the 200, 300 levelnow as well too.
They're just going.
Look what everybody else isdoing.
Let's give it a go, Becausethey're playing smaller venues,
like 3,000 people or so.
So they raise their price andpeople just aren't buying.
It's a lot of money, man,People just aren't buying it.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
It's a lot of money.
Man Fluck of Seagulls wasplaying.
I can't remember where that was, but I thought that was
interesting.
They're doing a tour, hey, andyou know who was in the White
House?
Our good friend Lizzo, theoriginal cancelled radio guide.
That's a good thing.
They shouldn't stick it up herass, isn't it?
(16:50):
I mean, you know, up her vagina.
That was coming next.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
Oh was it really, oh, I've been cancelled.
Chris and Costello's podcast,the original cancelled radio
guys, why?
Speaker 3 (17:06):
They had a buffet there or something I'm sure that
they did.
They needed to get rid of thestuff that Trump had left behind
.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
McDonald's hamburgers everywhere, yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I guess she'd been booked before she quit.
It's the presidential honors orsomething.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
We keep getting shit all the time because we made fun
of Lizzo, I think for a shortperiod of time she goes, I'm
going to work on my weight, andthen she goes.
Well, fuck it.
You know, I have a body shamingme and I'm I'm standing up for
people like me.
Well, what we always said wasOK, lizzo, you are a fat pig.
But we did say that I did.
(17:46):
I didn't like her.
I think she's funny, I thinkshe's talented, but the thing is
, it's not body shaming.
I mean, you're stupid, you wantto be that heavy, you're going
to get diabetes, You're going toget heart disease You're going
to die young.
I mean that's stupid.
That ain't body shaming.
That's being stupid.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Well, you don't realize it until you're older,
how quick life goes.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Do what these two people you're looking at are
doing.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
You're looking at two guys on Ozempic.
Oh yeah, yes, indeed, friday'sOzempic Day.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
How long have you been on Ozempic now, costello?
It'll be a month.
You're not at the level yetwhere you start to lose weight,
yet Maybe a little bit.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
I've also.
I'm down to 230-something.
230've lost.
I'm down to 230 something.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
From 230 something right.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Yeah, so I mean I was 245 something before.
Okay, I have lost some weight.
I'm sure that if I exercisemore, I will probably lose even
more.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That just makes it, just enhance, it makes it happen
even faster, you know.
But when you hit month two,when your dosage goes up a
little bit, that's when thingsstart to kind of really drop off
.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, so I have to see the lovely doctor sometime
this week, I think.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Okay, get that weight check.
But if you want to go see agood show this summer, you know,
I would highly recommend.
The group has put out thehottest summer single.
I'm talking about, of course,the Kristen Costello singers
okay.
A summer single?
I'm talking about, of course,the Chris and Costello Singers
okay.
And today we're going tointroduce our brand new song,
(19:18):
the Chris and Costello Singers.
And toward the summer,unconvictable.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
That's what they said .
Who is this about, Chris?
I have no idea Unconvictable.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
We were misled.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
It's not the royal family, is it?
I don't think so.
All his statements weregaslighting us.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Now that his guilt is uniting, us Got me.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Never before has someone been more.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Unelectable More every day.
That's no lie.
I need a cigarette.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Those that we deplore .
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Will fade away.
Been waiting for you Hit thatnote.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
That's why, Donald, it's delectable that someone so
disrespectful has become sounelectable too.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
No, no, I see him Mama.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Would you care for this dance, Mr Bailey?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
I'm going to be you.
Yes, A quick twirl.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oh, and it's over.
Somebody needs a little lessonin how to edit Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
This is a quick little version for our audience.
Ladies and gentlemen, there wego, our latest hit, the Kristen
Costello Singers.
I hope you enjoyed that.
Very good indeed, very tasteful, very well done indeed.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Very goodful, very well done, indeed, very good,
rather.
Yes, yes, yes, I did get thatfucking pen to work eventually,
so that rather helped.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Coming up next will be our follow-up song.
It's the sentencing.
Oh yeah, we can hardly wait.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Well, we'll have to be penning that.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah, we'll have to work on that.
Put his ass in jail, he'll befresh bait.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
He can throw away that key.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
This is too much fun.
I mean the quick question markis.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
That'll be unforgettable.
Have you noticed?
Have you seen pictures of himwhen he was a little boy we're
talking about?
I guess you might have figuredout what we're talking about
Trump, and of course, our Arabfriends know who he is.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
but they're trying to divert the attention because
the Hunter Biden trial startedtoday too.
But you've got to remember theHunter.
Biden trial.
You've got to remember theHunter Biden trial is not
President Biden.
Okay, it's his son.
It's like any kid you do yourbest, you raise him, things
happen, it's not on him.
Of course, we're probably goingto try to make it say look,
(22:37):
he's crooked too, it's his son.
It's not the president, okay,it's a big difference.
All right, looking forward tothe sentencing on July the 11th.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
That'll be a good day , but you, you know, I saw a
picture actually of littleDonnie Trump.
It is an actual picture of him.
And you know, his mouth isround, I guess they realize he's
round for the rest of his life.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
What do you think that is?
What do you think goes in there?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Well, that's like I said, a good little cocksucker.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, it's not Oscar Mayer Sure.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Everything's too small on him.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well, with him it all started as a kid, anyway, Even
as little Donnie.
He was a turd, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yes, yes, and we found this shall we?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
It's another episode of Little Donnie Trump.
This is where it all began as abrat.
Welcome of Little Donnie Trump.
This is where it all began as abrat.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Welcome to Little Donnie Trump.
Now let's join the Trump familyin their home in 1951.
Speaker 6 (23:42):
Okay, children, today we're going to learn about the
alphabet.
I'm going to teach you all ofthe letters of the uh, you, oh,
god, what?
Speaker 4 (23:51):
does that smell?
Uh, teacher, it wasn't me, itmust've been some other kid.
Well, you're very quick to denyit's you, little Donnie, but
I'm standing right next to youand it smells like you pooped
your pants.
No, teacher, I've never poopedin my pants, like no one ever
didn't poop in their pantsbefore, and everybody knows it.
This their pants before, andeverybody knows it.
This is a hoax, okay littleDonnie, you've lied enough.
Speaker 6 (24:20):
I'm calling your mommy to come get you Fake news,
Fake poop Fred little Donniewas sent home from kindergarten
again today.
Speaker 7 (24:22):
Oh no, what's he done this?
Speaker 6 (24:23):
time dear.
Well, he pooped his pants forone thing, but as bad as it was
and it was really horrific,that's not the worst of it.
He lied and blamed another kidfor doing it.
Speaker 7 (24:32):
What do you mean, dear?
Speaker 6 (24:33):
He told the teacher that his classmate little Joey
Biden, took a shit in littleDonnie's pants to make little
Donnie look bad.
It's such an obvious andridiculous lie that I don't even
know where to start.
Speaker 7 (24:45):
And let me guess he's sticking to his ridiculous
story and refuses to admit hepooped his own pants.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
Yes, fred, this child's ludicrous lies are
driving me to drink.
Speaker 7 (24:54):
Well then, I guess it's time for me and little
Donnie to have a little chat.
Here we go.
Little Donnie, you and I needto talk.
Your mother tells me you gotsent home from kindergarten
again for pooping in your pants.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
Oh, shut the fuck up, dad, I didn't poop in my pants.
Little Joey Biden did it.
This is a witch hunt and afraud and a scam.
Speaker 7 (25:14):
Now, little Donnie, you know that's ridiculous and
nobody believes.
Another kid somehow managed topoop in your pants.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Dad, this is just another hoax.
First there was poopy pantshoax number one.
Now there's poopy pants hoaxnumber two.
I'm telling you, little JoeyBiden pooped in my pants because
he hates little Donnie Trump.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
Well, little Donnie, your story is incredibly stupid
and your relentless denials arehilariously fucked up, but I'm
proud of you, son.
Lying and blaming others, evenin the face of obvious
culpability, is the Trump familyway.
And oh my God, what is thatawful smell?
Speaker 4 (25:49):
That's a dad.
Little Joey Biden just poopedin my pants again.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
Here's a highlight from next week's episode.
Speaker 7 (25:59):
Mrs Trump, we need you to come pick up little
Donnie.
He's pooped his pants again forthe third time this week, and
it's only Tuesday.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
Be sure to tune in next week for another episode of
Little Donnie Trump.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Yeah, don't forget folks, Little Donnie Trump, I
wonder.
Number four will probably be,like you said, conviction,
conviction.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
There you go, ladies and gentlemen.
That's the Chris and CostelloPlayers.
We'll have another episode foryou next week, okay?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Amazing.
Our players are really God.
They're so talented.
They just send me these things.
It's great.
No pun are really God.
They're so talented, they justsend me these things, it's great
.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
No pun intended, but I'm smelling Grammy Award here,
I'm smelling an Emmy.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I'm smelling an.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Oscar, I'm just smelling the shit in his pants.
Is what I'm smelling.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
We could get a lovey.
A lovey which is the InternetAwards.
Now.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I think you leak that a little bit.
A little turd.
Every time, every guilty, all34 of them, guilty, yeah, guilty
, oh, guilty, oh good.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Oh guilty.
I wonder if they, you know ifthey did put him in jail, which
I think is very unlikely now.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
It's very unlikely.
Yeah, yeah, I think it happened.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
But if they put a gag order on him and if they put a
say like a house arrest, I mean,that's the thing I hope they do
a home confinement.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
He can't go out and do one of his stupid-ass rallies
, you know, right, with thethird-grade followers he's got
and Millennium's going to begoing.
I'm going on vacation in Europefor a while until that damn
ankle bracelet comes off, youknow, or until he stops
breathing.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
I have honestly woken up for the last.
What 12 years now wishing everymorning that when I turn on the
news it'll be Trump died lastnight from an overdose of
chicken nuggets.
But you know, I think we mightbe getting.
Well, we're obviously gettingcloser.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
The scary part I think, is that I mean, they're
just naturally they.
They eat like crap.
He's overweight, oh he'sterrible.
I think his dad lived to be inhis 90s or something.
So I mean I'm going God if hefollows in those footsteps, holy
crap.
Yeah, I know, I'm going tomarry this guy, you know.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
But his dad was a felt, relatively healthy-looking
man, whereas Donnie Jr here isLiving off Kentucky Fried
Chicken.
He ain't 230 pounds anymore.
That's damn sure Not even close.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
He never walked.
He's a tall guy, but he's a bigboy, though he's a pig boy.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Pig boy, Come on.
Pig boy, Squeal boy.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I mean they're all 34 of those Guilties.
You can just see the littleshit come out each time he did
guilty.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
I have to say this you know maybe some of our
listeners are going why are yougoing on about Trump and all
that?
You have to realize that thisis a huge mark in history.
You know they haven't exactlybeen letting off fireworks or
anything yet, but one way or theother this will be remembered
in history for maybe 200 years,maybe more, maybe less, I don't
(28:59):
know.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well, you know, we were just kind of going along as
a country pretty good until heran for president and he won for
president.
Yeah, things have changed.
We were short of temper withpeople.
We called people names.
We never did before.
He wasn't there for thetransfer of power.
It's never happened before.
From one outgoing president toa new president, he refused to
(29:20):
go the riots.
I just take these things off ofmy finger.
I'm just going God, all thishistory and tradition we have,
which is nothing like you guysgot in Europe.
But we're trying and it's allscrewed up.
If he wins again, it's going tobe even worse this time.
So it's the revenge tour, youknow yeah yeah, I just wonder
(29:46):
you know I mean it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I mean, and then you know, if they stopped for five
minutes and thought wait aminute, this man has absolutely
no platform to stand on.
We don't even know who his VPis, which he should have.
Oh, I guess that would be atthis next big rally thing that's
coming up, which is on the 11thas well, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I guess it's not going to be called the dog
killer anymore, so I don't knowwho it's going to be.
It really doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Well, yeah, exactly, it doesn't matter.
So for all our listeners wekind of apologize, but consider
this historic.
Okay, because it is.
I mean, nothing's been asstupid as this ever Ever.
I'm surprised.
I mean nothing's been as stupidas this ever ever.
I'm surprised.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I hate to say it, but I'm surprised there's that many
Americans who are that freakingstupid who would vote for a
self-centered, me, me, me, idiot, psychotic guy like that.
It's just scary, you know, Iunderstand.
If you want other thingschanges, just go with the.
Just follow the policies.
Okay, I mean I wish we had ayounger guy than Biden.
(30:55):
That would be great, but it'sjust not the case right now.
You have to look at it nomatter what you want, it's going
to be those two guys and youhave to pick one of those two
guys.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Well, maybe, unless, of course, something does happen
to Trump.
But I mean, this is thestrangest thing.
You've basically got one guystanding for election because I
mean Trump, he shouldn't beeligible, although they say he
might be, or he is right.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
I mean this is Well, he can still run right now.
He hasn't been convicted of afederal crime yet, so he's not
going to get those trials beforeelection day.
So that's a federal crime yet.
So they're not going to getthose trials before Election Day
.
That's a moot point.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Anyway, he's going to have to lose based on what's
happened so far.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
They have a debate, don't forget they actually have
a debate at the end of thismonth.
This is really early for adebate.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
This should be fun, but no, he's a felon now.
Those were felons, yeah he's afelon.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Now, those were felons.
Yeah, he is a felon.
We got songs for felons.
We got so much material comingyour way.
You guys just get used to it.
Okay, we got so much stuffcoming.
I'm looking at our video thinghere on our podcast.
I feel like one of those idiotson the Fox talking thing where
they got all the talking headsthere going, you know.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
So we have this presser from his press
conference today and it was anhour of just stupid bullshit and
we love bullshit, so here we go.
Speaker 8 (32:23):
The judge was a tyrant and you got to see that
with Bob Costello.
A fine man.
I've never seen anything likeit, and you got to see that with
Bob Costello.
A fine man Yep got to be.
I've never seen anything likeit, and neither has anybody that
was in that courthouse where hedemanded that the courthouse be
cleared.
Now the good news is most ofthe people in the courthouse
were the media and anybody thatwas in the media of your affair.
(32:44):
You'll say, wow, that was anger, that was crazed, he was crazed
.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Well, he should know about that, shouldn't he?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
He's sounding tired, older and angry, you know, and
he's making fun of a judge whohasn't sentenced him yet and
anything he says could affecthis sentencing.
So I say to him please keep itup.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Oh, it's too good to be true.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
You couldn't write it .
Call in some more, David.
Let's hear some more.
This is too good.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
It's sheer anger.
It's sheer anger, and so hecontinued.
Speaker 8 (33:22):
And the reason that Bob Costello acted a little bit
upset which I think he has aright to, acted a little bit
upset, which I think he has aright to was that every question
he was being asked was beingobjected to by the other side
and sustained by the judgeSustained, sustained, sustained.
I think he did it many times, Idon't know what the number.
(33:43):
Many times Even I was sittingthere saying and these were
basic questions and I never sawanybody treated that way by a
judge and I've been treated verybadly by two other judges also.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
Two other judges.
Yeah, he's been treated sobadly?
I'm starting to feel sorry forhim.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
You know what?
His biggest problem with thisjudge is?
The judge's first name, Juan.
That's his problem, oh yeah.
Speaker 8 (34:10):
Think about it Yep, yep, yep yep, yep, yep, carry on
, it's all right carry on out ofthe white house crooked joe
biden, the worst president inthe history of our country.
He's the worst president in thehistory of our country the most
incompetent.
He's the dumbest presidentwe've ever had.
Oh yeah, Is he talking abouthimself?
(34:30):
I think so yeah.
Most incompetent president andhe's the most dishonest
president we've ever had.
The judge was a tyrant thereyou go Call him a name again.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Good.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Good.
So here's the thing.
Right, here's the thing.
There's a thing calledmirroring, which is a little
hard to say, but it's true, it'sa psychiatrist's term.
The people who do these thingsthen just turn around and stick
it on the other person, and Ihad an ex who did that and said
(35:02):
wait a minute.
These are all the things I saidto you.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I think he's forgetting as well too.
Like this is like Americandemocracy you sit there calling
out the judge, this all theseguilty birds came from a jury, a
jury selected by both sides inpartial jury.
So it's not the judge, it's notthe Democrats, it's a jury.
That's what it's all about.
(35:33):
And they found you guilty.
When he's going do you?
How you do this to me?
Oh so you're.
You don't you break the law,but you're not supposed to get
in trouble for it while the restof us do so.
That's a.
He's shocked.
It happened to him.
What a freaking idiot.
Speaker 8 (35:41):
Okay, go ahead he comes in and he approves it and
he gets three and a half million, meaning three and a half
million is paid to the familyhis family from the mayor of
Moscow's wife.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
I don't know what he's talking about.
What are you talking about?
Speaker 8 (35:58):
He wants to talk about it.
Trump's a very big danger toour country, you are.
The only way they think theycan win this election is by
doing exactly what they're doingright now win it in the courts,
because they can't win it atthe ballot box.
Dead, he comes in and heapproves it.
Oh sorry.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
It's actually.
Speaker 8 (36:21):
I don't know.
It's something where I'm wiredin such a way that a lot of
people would have gone away along time ago.
They would have gone away afterimpeachment hoax number one.
That was a total hoax.
Great support from theRepublican Party, though.
Then you had impeachment hoaxnumber two, and then they formed
the committee.
How about they form thecommittee of thugs, the J6
(36:42):
committee of thugs, the J6committee of thugs?
Speaker 3 (36:47):
Okay, I can't.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
I can't take much more.
People go to rallies and hespews the same shit and they sit
there and cheer this crap on herambles.
He makes no sense.
If it's against him's evil,it's bad.
You know well.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Like I said, meet him good everybody else evil, you
know, and even though I've doneit, you did it before me, so
that makes it worse.
Because you really did it,although you said you didn't
because you didn't.
And because you did it meansthat means that I did.
But I'm not going to tell youthat, because if I tell you that
, that'll mean that I did do it,but I didn't.
(37:24):
Honestly I didn't, it wasn't me.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
You should be happy.
You're making absolutely nofrigging sense, just like him.
I don't know what the fuckyou're saying.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Well, here's the crux .
It was somebody else, it wasJoe Biden.
That's right.
It was Joe Biden and his wifewho did all these things,
because all the Republicanpeople, they're all behind me,
they all love me.
That's a good point.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
He goes that Biden was the mastermind behind all
this.
On one end of the scale, hegoes he's a senile old fool
who's dumb and can't do anything, but on the other hand, he's
smart enough to come up withthis whole big scheme to put
your ass in jail.
You know you contradictyourself.
I mean, you just back rightinto it, buddy, you back right
(38:10):
into that one.
So yeah, it's all crooked.
Joe Biden came up with thiswhole thing.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Oh, yeah, yeah, he made it.
Let's also cast the time back alittle bit further and I need
to do a little bit of researchon this before I get into it.
But do you remember the manytrips he made abroad and the
faux pas that he made, otherthan stealing from Buckingham
Palace?
I think it was?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, stealingstuff from there?
(38:37):
He had to return it, alsotouching the Queen.
God rest their soul.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
You don't do that, I mean, I think that was the one
time the queen actually shit herpants.
It was going to be hey, judgeEw.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
If one must.
If one must, I mean, that waswhen it was still semi-lucent,
at least, but oh my.
And then, of course, they hadthe flying Trump out there,
which we saw.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
That was the funniest damn thing I've ever seen.
I love that.
Whoever came up with that wasgreat.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
And then he goes to North Korea North Korea, not
South Korea.
North Korea has a privateconversation with King Jong-un,
which is I can't remember whichone it is, but the one who's I
mean he locks the doors, doesn'teven have a guy from the Secret
Service or the Foreign Officethere, nobody.
(39:36):
And who knows what he promised.
I think he was trying to buybeachfront property personally.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
I think if Kim Jong-un had any balls about him,
he could have wiped him outright then.
All of a sudden, north Koreawould have been America's
favorite allied country.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Yes, yeah, they missed that opportunity.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
We'd have had a parade down Fifth Avenue in New
York.
Kim Jong-un, our hero.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Well, you know, putin could have done the same thing.
When they had their little Tateart set, they were buddies and
whisper, whisper.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
This guy's too much fun.
We're going to have fun withthis puppet.
Let him run, let him go, givehim all the milk he wants, let
him up in the room.
There at Red Square they getthat golden showers going, you
know.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
I'll just ring my depends out over you, okay.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
This is going to be our next Kristen Costello singer
song the golden showers.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Golden showers for little Donnie.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Lyrics are dancing in my head already.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
Oh, good, do write them down.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Do you want to play more of this nonsense, or have
you heard enough?
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Oh, I really have had enough.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
I think we all have Screw that stuff Before we wrap
up the show.
I forgot to ask you, costello.
So what's new in your life?
So I had a car accident, scaredthe shit out of me At the time.
Halfway through I started going.
I'm kind of having fun withthis.
I'm just kind of like it's kindof funny.
I was spinning around so fast Iwasn't quite sure if I was
(41:12):
going to wind up pointing at atruck.
I'm going to be going over theditch, I'm going to drop 8,000
feet, but it was exhilarating.
I didn't shit my pants.
I didn't do that either.
I exhilarating, you know.
So I didn't shit my pants anddo that either.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
So I enjoyed it Well, that's a good thing.
I'm glad to hear that.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
And my car survived.
So what's new with?
Speaker 3 (41:25):
you.
So what's new?
Well, you know what a crazydizzy life I have been having
for a while.
Let me see Rehab.
That's a blast.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Oh, that's so much fun.
You have to explain that whenyou have rehab, you can do rehab
as many things.
You can be in rehab because youhave an alcohol addiction
problem.
You can be in rehab becauseyou're a sex addict.
You can be in rehab because youhave a thing for goats.
I mean, it's just like.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
My rehab is cardiac rehab.
Ah, for the old heart and allthe bits around it.
When you go to cardiac rehab,what is it?
Speaker 2 (42:06):
that you do?
What do you do?
What do they make you do?
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Not much.
I sit on these machines forfive minutes.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
You do cardio machines, that's it.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
A cardio machine is one of those things you sit on
and it's like a bicycle.
You don't go anywhere, you justyou know.
And then there's another onethat you use your arms and your
legs, then there's another onethat you use just your legs in a
slightly different manner.
So that's three machines, andthen you're supposed to walk
(42:38):
around the room for five minutes.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
I hope your insurance is paying for that.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
Oh hell, yeah, they better be, because I sure as
hell wouldn't pay for this.
I'd sleep with you, bullshit.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
It probably would have made sense more if you'd
done the rehab after the surgery, because then you've got to
build things back up.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
Oh yeah.
No, I'm way past that I mightjust say.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
You're a little bit late to the party.
You're behind.
You're like held back a grade,you know.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Yeah, at least that was the insurance people.
Oh well, you know, hey, I getout of the house, I get to watch
the old folks with their oxygentanks walk around the room.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Oh, so you meet some hot babes at rehab.
Oh yeah.
Well, the nurses are cute.
I always like the ones thatwalk around with the oxygen
tanks.
They got the tank they'repulling in the right hand by
holding a cigarette in the lefthand.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
Yeah, that used to be in Vegas.
That was at Sunrise Hospitalalways.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I see it all the time .
I'm just going.
Let me just take it a littlebit closer.
Do us all a favor.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Just go up in flames.
You know, up there you go, wellthat.
And then you have to go in andhave a little talk and about.
Actually today was quiteinteresting, but, um, there's
nothing that I really didn'tknow before, and not that I know
everything, but after a certainpoint you kind of get to know
stuff and um, and that's it, andit goes on ten weeks.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
I'm happy that you now know stuff.
That's important.
I know stuff.
I know stuff.
I'll be spending the week herein Colorado doing a couple of
things and off to have thecancer survivors party I go to
every year.
It's this weekend.
I'm in Vail Looking forward tothat, and then from there I'll
head back to Vegas for a coupleof weeks.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Of work, whatever.
Actually back to Vegas for acouple weeks Of work, whatever.
You know what.
The gray beard looks prettygood, Matt, now that the lines
have changed.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
I'm trying to get used to it.
If I wasn't tan, I think Iwould look pretty Weird.
That's what I would look like.
I heard the good word, yeah.
I guess I could Come on let itgrow, costello, let's do it,
let's do no shaming.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
That's like three weeks for me.
That's about three weeks growthfor me.
Let it go.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Let's see what you get.
All right.
All right, we will, we will.
Let's check it out, let it grow.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
We need to give people a reason to listen to
this podcast.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
I know we've done the Trump thing.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
I just think the more we cover, our faces up, the
higher chance we have of gettingmore views on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Look at this guy, Jesus, they're probably going.
Kristen Costello, the originalcanceled ugly radio guys, and so
well you know.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
You know, perhaps next week we could do our own
personal top fives, like we weresupposed to do for this week.
But hey, who knew, Trump wasgoing to take over everything.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Well, it's out of our system, at least for this week,
so we'll do that stuff nextweek.
So next week we'll be back tooriginal programming, okay, oh
whoa, hey, beautiful downtownBurbank, that's right original
programming with KristenCostello next week.
I did enjoy the KristenCostello singers and the Kristen
Costello players.
That's true, very good.
(45:44):
The only boring part of theshow was playing the actual
Trump press conference from theTrump Tower.
That sucked, yeah, because itwas actually done by him.
We should have had the KristenCostello players do the press
conference our way.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
Well, you know what?
Speaker 5 (46:03):
What.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Well, you know what, what we can edit here?
You, having said that, nowgives me the right to get the
edit tool out.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Oh my God, he's going to whip out the edit tool.
Last time we did that, he hadto spend six months in the city
jail.
That's right.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
Yes, yes, indeed.
Well, I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Hey want to see my edit tool.
Here it is.
I got your edit tool rightthere, that's it.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
You squeal at the pain.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Hey, spank my tool.
Go on hit it, Spank that tool.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
Hey, listen, folks who are still actually at this
end of the podcast, which ispretty amazing don't forget to
subscribe.
You don't have to pay, Justsubscribe so we know you're
there.
Okay, We'd appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Appreciate that.
Yeah, we would.
We're worldwide folks, chrisand Kat's Social worldwide.
Wherever you get your podcastsat, you will find us.
Okay, we'll be the onesscreaming yes.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
Soon we will have our very own radio station, station
Trump.
No, it won't be that, that'sfor sure.
The original canceled radio,there you go.
We could save an awful lot onprinting, definitely so.
So what's the word to finish itoff there?
Bailey, you know I.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Gigolo.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
Gigolo J-Lo, oh, j-lo , oh.
Okay, bye, j-lo.
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Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!