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June 9, 2024 • 14 mins

Today, I'm speaking with Helena, a retail worker and soon-to-be college student and fiction author. Helena came to Canada as a child, but wasn't assessed for autism or schizophrenia until her 20s. She talks about who the biggest bullies were in school and shares some activities that have helped her.

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Check out Helena's Instagram.

Theme music: "Everything Feels New" by Evgeny Bardyuzha.

All episodes written and produced by Kristen Hovet.

Send in your questions or thoughts via audio or video recording for a chance to be featured on the show! Email your audio or video clips to otherautism@gmail.com through WeTransfer.

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The views, opinions, and experiences shared by guests on this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or production team. The content is intended for informational purposes only and should not be taken as medical or professional advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making any decisions related to your health, fitness, or wellness.

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Episode Transcript

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Kristen Hovet (00:00):
Today I'm speaking with Helena, a
late-diagnosed autistic andschizophrenic individual.
I'd like to thank David foryour one-time show of support to
T he Other Autism podcast.
David used the Buy Me a Coffeelink not once but twice to send
in a donation.
Thank you so much, David.
If you'd like to do the same,please check out the link in the

(00:22):
show notes that says Buy Me aCoffee.
I'd also like to thank thepatrons over on Patreon who
sponsor the show and, in return,get some bonus content.
I really appreciate theirongoing support and interest in
the show.
If you're curious to see what'sgoing on over there, head on
over to all one word.

(00:44):
For a few dollars a month, youcan become a patron of The Other
Autism as well.
And with that, please say helloto my guest for today, Helena.

Helena Habtu (00:54):
Hello, my name is Helena, I'm 26 years old and I'm
a late diagnosed autistic andschizophrenic.
I'm going to college to studymassage therapy and I'm
currently writing a book aboutmy autism and my schizophrenia,
but it's more of a fiction book.
My book is about an autisticBlack girl who was experimented

(01:15):
on and has superhuman abilities,and it's a world where humans
and aliens are working togetherand there are some evil groups
that are part of the governmentand there are the good groups,
which are the rebellion.

Kristen Hovet (01:30):
Were you inspired by any particular books or
anything like shows or anythinglike that?

Helena Habtu (01:35):
I was a big fan of Marvel.

Kristen Hovet (01:37):
Do you know when you're going to be finished or
when you're going to put it out?

Helena Habtu (01:41):
I'm going to be putting it out around September.
I just have to finish theediting and stuff.

Kristen Hovet (01:45):
Were you born in Canada?

Helena Habtu (01:47):
I was born in Sudan.

Kristen Hovet (01:48):
So how old were you when you came to Canada?

Helena Habtu (01:51):
I was seven years old.

Kristen Hovet (01:52):
I'd like to talk about, if you're comfortable,
talking more about your autismand schizophrenia diagnosis.
How old were you when you gotthose diagnoses?

Helena Habtu (02:01):
I got diagnosed with autism around 23.
It was supposed to be forschizophrenia but then again
they were just like oh actuallywe think you have autism because
the questions were similar toautistic questions.
I started embracing thatbecause it actually makes sense
about how my life turned out.

Kristen Hovet (02:22):
That must have been challenging growing up
without knowing that aboutyourself.

Helena Habtu (02:26):
Well, since I was a kid, I've been excluded and
bullied by teachers, especiallywith my schizophrenia, like I
didn't know what it was but Ikept on seeing and feeling
things.
Then, like the hallucinationsare bullying me, and sometimes
the hallucinations are based onwhat I went through.
That really triggers me, so Isometimes yell at a locker or

(02:50):
yell at a wall.

Kristen Hovet (02:51):
That's really hard because you expect a
teacher to be the one protectingyou and the one who knows
better.
That's really hard.
I'm sorry you went through that.
What about other kids?

Helena Habtu (03:02):
The other kids they seemed friendly.
But as I grew older it waseasier to manage when I was
really little at first, but as Igrew older it started to get
worse, because I was stillbullied, because I still had
autism.
Well, I still have autism.

Kristen Hovet (03:18):
I'm just curious how your life has changed since
before and after the diagnoses.

Helena Habtu (03:29):
Well, I feel more seen and I feel like I can be
more like myself and get to knowmyself a little bit better and
have more self- compassion.
In my personal experience it'sreally hard, but especially in
making friends and I do havecommunication issues.
I struggle with social cues andI tend to say inappropriate
things at the wrong times, whichcan make people take me the

(03:50):
wrong way.
With my schizophrenia diagnosis, I can see, feel, and hear
things that aren't there.
It's really hard to tell what'sreal and what isn't, and I do
take schizophrenia pills andthat helps me a little bit.

Kristen Hovet (04:06):
What did your family members say when you were
going through the assessmentprocess, or were they helpful
and supportive?
What was that process like?

Helena Habtu (04:14):
To be honest, it was a little frustrating because
my parents are immigrants.
They're having a hard timeunderstanding where I'm coming
from, and I did try to explainto my mom, but all she said was
just pray about it and it wiwe'll go away.
But I know that's not how itworks.

Kristen Hovet (04:32):
Has it been better, though, since you have
that diagnosis?

Helena Habtu (04:36):
It's better for me , but I do have my siblings that
do help me be more in controlof myself.

Kristen Hovet (04:42):
Do you have a message for adults who are in
the process, or contemplatingthe process, of going through
the assessments for eitherautism or schizophrenia?

Helena Habtu (04:51):
It can be a little bit scary, but once you do that
, you'll have a goodunderstanding about yourself
later on.
Just know that you're not theonly one going through this.
I've went through it, so youcan do it, too.

Kristen Hovet (05:07):
What are your hobbies or special interests?

Helena Habtu (05:10):
My special interests are superheroes,
aliens, and superpowers, andthat's what I've been writing
about.
I like writing, too, because ithelps me process my thoughts,
and it's easier for me tocommunicate through writing,
because sometimes my speech canbe a little bit disorganized and
sometimes it takes time toprocess what I want to say to
people, and people sometimeshave a hard time understanding

(05:32):
that.

Kristen Hovet (05:33):
What are autistic traits that you love the most
in yourself?

Helena Habtu (05:41):
I love how I can be very creative because even at
work I can design certainthings.
I work at Crocs, so a lot ofthe times the assistant manager
asks me to design the Crocsshoes with the charms.

Kristen Hovet (05:54):
And what about for schizophrenia?
What are your traits there thatyou love the most?

Helena Habtu (05:59):
Sometimes I see certain creatures and I like how
I'm able to, like, feel them.
It helps me be more relaxed andnot bored.

Kristen Hovet (06:13):
What are things that you do in the day to kind
of keep yourself grounded?

Helena Habtu (06:19):
I mostly write and play video games.
I like Kingdom Hearts.
Kingdom Hearts is my fanatic.

Kristen Hovet (06:26):
What are some other pointers or tips you can
think of?

Helena Habtu (06:31):
It is really hard to have certain people who just
don't understand you, but it'sbest to surround yourself with
people who do understand you andwant to understand you, so that
way you feel like you're notalone.
I'd say, write down yourthoughts, because that's what
helps me, as I'm autistic andschizophrenic.

(06:52):
If you can, try to find acommunity and there is this app
called Meetup that helps youfind friends, so if you're
feeling lonely, maybe you canmeet up with other people and
get to know other people.

Kristen Hovet (07:08):
I know some people have sensory challenges.
Do you have those as well?

Helena Habtu (07:12):
I'm a very picky eater and it depends on the
texture.
I love very soft textures orcrispy textures, and it's really
hard for me to eat healthybecause of my texture issues.

Kristen Hovet (07:24):
Have you been able to figure out any tricks
there for eating healthy?

Helena Habtu (07:28):
I mostly just figure it out online.
I'm trying to make iron-filledmashed potatoes because I got
this metal lucky iron leaf fromAmazon and I heard that it helps
with your iron and I haveanemia and it's hard for me to
eat healthy.

Kristen Hovet (07:46):
What are some ways or how do you balance your
personal and work life?

Helena Habtu (07:50):
So I balance it by, well, I rest a lot because I
do have burnout from alwaysmasking my autism and I do my
very best to do it, but it'sjust really tough.

Kristen Hovet (08:05):
Do you consciously try to unmask, or is
that something you haven'treally started doing yet?
I know it's challenging.

Helena Habtu (08:12):
Well, I unmask at home and I do get exhausted from
constant communication frompeople.

Kristen Hovet (08:18):
For you what's the difference between masking
and unmasking?

Helena Habtu (08:21):
Masking is when you take away your " flaws that
people don't want to see, andunmasking is just being yourself
without fearing theconsequences, like sometimes I
do these dances and I like tostim because it helps me relieve
stress, especially when Ilisten to music.
E ven at work, like, I do swaya lot.

Kristen Hovet (08:45):
It's hard because , like, there's this huge drive
in the autistic community tounmask, but then that's not
necessarily safe.
I think it could even be lesssafe for those people of color
and women especially.
So I think there's likearguments to be made for keeping
our mask on sometimes, as hardas that is.

Helena Habtu (09:06):
Yeah, I totally agree with you.

Kristen Hovet (09:08):
What's it been like for you to live with racism
and ableism at the same time?

Helena Habtu (09:15):
It's really hard because there's this other girl
that, I mean, I was friends withher.
We're still friends to this day.
She was considered popularbecause people were more nicer
to her, but when it came to me,it's like I'm just this person
that's just there.
And I was considered bad as akid because it felt like, no

(09:36):
matter what I do, it's just I'mnot good enough for these adults
.

Kristen Hovet (09:40):
What are some things you've done to counter
that, I guess?

Helena Habtu (09:44):
Go to cognitive behavioral therapy, which did
help me a lot, and keepreminding myself that those
perceptions of me were not true,and it's still hard for me to
this day to heal from that, butI'm still trying to heal from it
.
I did certain things thatneurotypicals didn't like,

(10:04):
especially the teachers.
They were really harsh towardsme.

Kristen Hovet (10:09):
Once you're finished school and you have
your degree, w hat would youlike your life to look like at
that point?

Helena Habtu (10:23):
I would like to see myself feeling more
accomplished and helping otherpeople with injuries, because I
have an injury myself from a caraccident about three years ago.

Kristen Hovet (10:29):
Is that what inspired you to get into that
specific degree program?

Helena Habtu (10:33):
Yeah, it did.
Yeah, I'm thinking about livingelsewhere, but considering
there's a financial crisis rightnow, it's kind of hard.

Kristen Hovet (10:43):
Yeah, for sure, for sure.
The picture you sent me, therewas a cat.
It was very cute.
I s that your cat?

Helena Habtu (10:53):
Yeah, it's my cat.
His name is Milo.
The reason why I got a pet wasto help me with my mental
health, and it did really helpbecause whenever I see him like,
I always feel this calmnessthat I have someone there.

Kristen Hovet (11:08):
Does anyone else in your family have a similar
neurodiversity or anything likethat?

Helena Habtu (11:15):
I kind of see it in my dad.
Oh, my sister is gettingdiagnosed with ADHD.

Kristen Hovet (11:22):
I know that often goes in the same families, like
they kind of go together,

Helena Habtu (11:25):
Yeah.

Kristen Hovet (11:26):
Do you have any questions for me?

Helena Habtu (11:28):
Why did you start T the O other A autism?

Kristen Hovet (11:31):
Well, I was late diagnosed, so I was in my late
thirties when I was diagnosed,and I'm already into research
and things like that because I'ma research communication
specialist.
A nd so I wanted to have a wayto, because I found trouble
finding evidence-based content,especially online, and a lot of

(11:54):
the content was very old so itwas very negative.
I t would talk about autisticpeople in negative terms and so
I wanted to help change thatnarrative, because a lot of the
research coming out is byautistic people or there's
autistic people on the researchteams.
I kind of wanted to highlightthat and then also give a

(12:15):
platform to other autisticpeople from different walks of
life and experiencing differentthings.
So I kind of do a mixture oflike more lecture episodes and
then interview episodes.
It's been fun.
I wish, like I also work fulltime, so I wish I had more time
to do this.
It's been good.
A huge thank you to Helena forbeing my guest on T he O ther A

(12:37):
utism podcast.
A nd that's all I have for youtoday.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Until next time, b ye.
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