July 22, 2024 • 42 mins
What if your deepest pain could become your greatest source of strength? Join Erin Anderson as she welcomes Heather Nilsen to discuss healing from betrayal trauma and how recognizing our divine identity can transform our lives. Heather shares exciting details about the upcoming Divine Daughter event in Layton, Utah, on August 3rd, 2024, a one-day retreat aimed at helping Christian women reconnect with their inherent worth. Together, Erin and Heather explore the event’s inspiration and the critical need for women to fill their spiritual buckets amidst their busy lives.
How does understanding our divine identity intersect with business success? In this insightful conversation, we delve into the transformative power of embracing our inherent worth and how this realization can lead to profound personal and professional growth. Erin and Heather share personal experiences of overcoming feelings of unworthiness, emphasizing that true humility stems from acknowledging our divine creation. By internalizing the belief that we are children of God, we can significantly impact our actions, creations, and ultimately, our success.
Finally, we explore the emotional aftermath of betrayal and the pivotal choices we face in its wake. Erin and Heather discuss the critical decision to either wallow in negative emotions or use them as catalysts for personal growth. Through personal anecdotes, they highlight the importance of moving beyond a victim mentality to a place of empowerment and resilience. To stay connected and access a wealth of supportive resources, Erin invites you to join her free Facebook group, "The Other Side of the Struggle Healing from Betrayal Trauma," and follow her on Instagram for ongoing encouragement and community support.
If you would like to book a free coaching call click on this link to schedule a time:
https://calendly.com/stephaniewheeldonbetrayaltraumacoaching/privateclient
Get your free "Creating and Clarifying Boundaries" PDF here!
https://www.erinandersonthetraumacoach.com/ClarifyandCreateBoundaries
Don't forget! You can come join us at:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theothersideofthestruggle
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hey everyone, it's Erin Anderson with the Erin
Anderson Betrayal TraumaCoaching.
I am super excited that youhave tuned in.
Today.
Let's get talking about how toheal from betrayal trauma.
Welcome to the other side ofthe struggle trauma, how to heal
(00:41):
it and then how to take it anduse it to unlock your mission
and your potential and to use itto live your very best dream
life.
When you're dealing withbetrayal trauma, it can be hard
to know how to heal it, how tostop the pain and to know what
(01:02):
your next steps are to take inyour own life, and these are the
questions that we try to answerhere.
Trauma has the ability to robus of our joy and identity,
which is why it's so miserableto experience.
But with the right tools andwith the right mindset, we can
(01:23):
totally reclaim that joy andeven use this trauma to
strengthen ourselves.
So that way, trauma does notknock us off of our joy again.
Living your dream life shouldbe a non-negotiable, but trauma
tends to try to negotiate thatwith you.
(01:45):
And even though trauma is notsomething that we will
completely ever be free of inour life, the pain is negotiable
.
This is why I created ErinAnderson Betrayal Trauma
Coaching and this podcast isbecause I want my listeners, I
(02:08):
want my clients, to live trulylive free from the prison that
trauma can put you in.
I want you to live on the otherside of the struggle.
(02:41):
Hey everyone, welcome back toanother episode of the Other
Side of the Struggle Guys.
I'm really excited.
I have a really special guestwith me today.
Her name is Heather Nilsen andHeather is actually putting on
the event that's coming upAugust 3rd 2024 in Layton Is
that right?
Layton, utah?
(03:01):
Yeah, it is, and it's going tobe the Divine Daughter event,
where Christian women can cometogether and we can talk to you
guys about, like, how to stepinto your divine self, your
divine life, your divine beauty,like this person you were
actually created to be, which isso cool to actually understand,
(03:26):
and like it's so it lends somepower, and we're going to talk
about that actually today inthis podcast and, if you guys
like it, if you love what youhear today, I totally want you
guys to come and join us for theDivine Daughter event.
So, without further ado,heather, so excited to have you
(03:51):
on and tell us a little bitabout the event that we're doing
.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh, absolutely.
Thank you, erin.
Okay, so the name of the eventis Divine Daughter, you Are
Worthy, and it is just a one-dayretreat.
It's one day because as women,we are busy, we wear so many
different hats, right, and sofor me to go to a three day
event is a major ordeal.
So, yeah, it's like really hard, almost impossible, especially
(04:16):
because I still have some youngkids at home, and so it's one
day.
It's meant to be this day thatwe just come and we just get
filled up and we leave with whatwe need.
Our bucket is full and thefocus is divine daughter, right,
stepping into our divineidentity, and so often we do
wear so many hats that thatdivine daughter hat I mean like
(04:38):
when do we pull that out?
Right, like we're busy beinglike mom, cook, chauffeur.
It's summer, so then we're likeactivities coordinator,
entertainer, like all the things, and so that part of ourselves
can get lost and get buried, andthen, along with that, you are
worthy.
Now there's been a lot aboutworthiness, and the way that
this event even came up is itwas back in March.
(05:01):
I heard a song on the radio youare of worth, and I was.
It really touched me.
I was like, wow, that would bea great topic for an event.
And my brain was like, yeah,but you have an event in April,
so you have to focus on thatevent right now.
So, and so I did.
And then it came up again like,remember, you had that idea and
(05:22):
it was still April.
By then it was March and it wasApril.
I was like, yep, but we're inthe midst of this event.
And then finally, in May, whenthe event was over, I was like,
okay, I get it, I'm finding avenue.
So it took a few divine nudges,which is actually, I mean, I
love that.
That's what we're talking aboutat the event is like being being
in tune with spirits and beingguided, and this is for any
(05:46):
Christian women, all faiths, alldenominations, and it really
has a focus for people that arebusiness owners.
But as long as you know, like ifyou don't have a business but
you feel like, oh my gosh, thisis still a topic I want to come
feel you are welcome.
I mean, you're welcome ifyou're not Christian, but just
know the audience and what we'regoing to be talking about.
But it really is just going tohelp us because, especially as
(06:08):
business owners, that's, that'slike another dozen hats or so,
right as we're doing, likemarketing and sales and course
creation and all these things.
And so how can we yeah, how canwe pull that all together?
And then, really, when we are,we are divinely connected and it
changes who we are, it changeshow we show up, it changes the
ideas we get, as I can attest toand it just changes us from the
(06:32):
inside out, and so that's a lotwhat we're going to be talking
about at this event.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Oh, I love it and you know that's going to be so much
fun because I'll tell you, likeI've been doing coaching for 11
years, right, helping womenthrough betrayal trauma and I
can tell you that when I firstunderstood my divinity, I was
not an entrepreneur, or at leastI didn't think I was.
(06:59):
Honestly, I truly believe nowthat every mother is an
entrepreneur, like you have tohave entrepreneur skills just to
be a mom, like you totally do.
I don't know if you could hearthe Aborigines in the background
just a couple of seconds ago,but, yeah, like you get what I'm
saying, like I do.
But you know, that's the coolthing about this is, once you
(07:22):
start to understand thisdivinity, this mission, this
purpose, like, like this callingthis is, this is an event for
women who have a calling.
Absolutely, that's what I'mhearing, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, absolutely.
And the speakers are amazing,like, our keynote speaker is
Tiffany Peterson.
If you don't know, tiff, youare in for a treat and there is
a VIP option.
So the VIP option you get tohave a private lunch with her
and you'll get a signed copy ofher book, her creation journal.
(07:57):
So I mean that VIP is amazing.
But if you, if that's not inyour budget or whatever, still
just come for the generaladmission.
It's going to be so good.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes, yes, and we do have a really good lineup of
speakers and a lot of them haveactually been on this podcast.
Like there's Seidel Schultz,kelly K Walker, she both of them
have been on this podcast and,like like some really, really
amazing speakers and a lot ofamazing women in general who
have taken that calling and madeit into something more.
(08:30):
So it's going to be reallyawesome to awaken and bring that
new you out, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah.
So let's talk a little bitabout you, because you're one of
the speakers.
I'm so excited to have you.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
So, because this is faith based, talk a little bit
about how you integrate yourfaith in with your business
practices a latter-day saint,right, and I will say that my
general people are Christian,right, they're not just
(09:08):
latter-day saints, but they'reChristian in general, and so
they have this deep faith andthis deep belief in Christ.
And when you understand thatdeep faith and that deep belief
in Christ, there are two maincomponents that happen you are a
truth seeker, a seeker of alltruth.
You are a truth seeker, aseeker of all truth, and you are
(09:28):
deeply respectful, which isreally interesting, and these
are two keys that actuallyfacilitate healing as well.
See, you know, because you guyshave, like, you guys have heard
me talk about, um, my betrayaland my traumas and and the
things that have hurt me, rightin the past, and I'll tell you
(09:50):
now, I'm still not immune tobetrayal and trauma.
I'm not, but I have a lot oftools in my belt, but the two
key tools that I pull out almostevery single time that I've had
a new betrayal or a new traumais that truth, what is true in
this situation?
And second, how can I be deeplyrespectful for myself and for
(10:13):
everyone else?
Right, because really, if youtalk about faith, faith
incorporates those two elementsalmost exactly.
We faith is an action, right,we take action based upon the
things that we know to be true,and we take action based out of
(10:35):
self-respect.
So you know, talking about my,my like, my message, my, my
being like everything, I'velearned everything I do.
It is due to those two elementsright there.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I love that.
I love being a seeker of truth,because I I always consider
myself a lifelong learner and Ihadn't actually made that jump
from like a lifelong learner totruth seeker.
But you're absolutely right,and so I'm so glad you brought
that up, because that was likean aha moment for me, like, oh
yeah, I'm not just seekinglearning, I'm seeking truth.
(11:14):
So love, love that, so so much.
And you've already kind oftouched on this.
But do you want to talk moreabout how embracing your divine
identity and your innate worthhas helped you in your business?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
like it sounds like it's all you talk about, like
you gotta get it in here so youcan show up yes, well, and you
know, okay, I love this topic somuch because here's the deal.
Okay, healing is all aboutgospel, it's all about divinity,
right, like christ's wholepurpose, his whole being, his
(11:49):
whole thing was about healing,right, yeah, that's what he did,
but it's because they saw atransformation in themselves.
They went back back to theirroots, they went back to who
they were divinely.
Okay.
(12:10):
Now let me tell you something.
When I decided to heal, thefirst thing that God showed me
was, like, the differentrelationships, and if you guys
want to know more about that,you know there's the relational
tears episode.
That's a few episodes down, soyou might have to dig for it,
but it's there if you want tolearn more about the relational
(12:32):
tears.
But it was a little while laterthat I had these like feelings
of do I deserve this?
Had these like feelings of do Ideserve this?
Right, like, like, do I reallydeserve this?
And like this feeling of like,who am I?
I'm just this little potent kidfrom Emory County, right, like,
(12:54):
and those of you that knowEmory County, like a tumbleweed
is probably going to be yourbest friend over there, because
that's like all that's there,right, and like, nothing against
people listening from EmoryCounty.
I love you, but you guys knowwhat I mean.
Like we didn't get a stoplightuntil maybe like five years ago.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I understand.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
We still don't have a stoplight in my county, so it's
like, like little tiny thingsso it's like, like little, tiny
things, and it's like when you,when you come from a little tiny
community, sometimes you tendto think of yourself as little
and tiny and that's not true,like it's absolutely not true.
God created us to be divine andif you think about this, god is
(13:42):
divine.
He put that inside of us, sothere's something really big
there and it wasn't.
I didn't feel that major shiftin myself until I started
understanding myself that way heshowed me and it was the most
(14:03):
humble experience.
Like like people are afraidthat if they believe in
themselves to that degree wherethey are in awe of what they
created, if they're in awe ofwho they are, if they're in awe
of themselves, then all of asudden, man, maybe I'm prideful,
right, but the truth of thematter is is when you feel those
(14:25):
things, that is actually thedefinition of humility.
I've never been more humbled inmy entire life as I am when God
gives me these little bits andsnippets of who I was actually
divinely created to be and heshows me how pleased and how
proud he is of me.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Well, I love that you brought that up, because what,
what like the thing is.
I've heard that for years, youknow decades.
I'm a child of God.
I'm a daughter of God, but itwas all cerebral.
It needs to move from our headinto our heart, and that's what
this event is about, becausewhen it moves from your head to
your heart and that's what thisevent is about because when it
moves from your head to yourheart.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
That's the big difference.
Yes, and it's so true and it'snot prideful at all, like
actually accepting the fact thatyou are a child of god.
Therefore you have inside ofyou godly characteristics,
because, hello, who who outthere does not have
characteristics of their parents?
Even even adopted childrenstill have characteristics of
(15:30):
birth parents and adoptedparents.
We, just we do, we tend to.
Yeah, right, if that's the case, and you have, like, this
vision of who god is and he'sthis grand, your being, well,
what does that make you?
And if he is this great creator, what does that make you?
(15:55):
Right, yeah, maybe, maybe notat his scale yet, and I I'm not
there.
I'm still walking around theplanet on a skin suit, like I'm
just saying yeah, but likesimply creating what I have
created has brought me closer tothat vision that God has given
(16:19):
me, and it's something youcannot deny.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, vision that God has given me and it's something
you cannot deny.
Yeah, yeah, and so I reallywant to invite people that are
are struggling with that.
This is the exact event youneed to attend, because if
you're feeling disconnected,that's why you need to be here.
If you're already feelingconnected, wonderful, just come
and be filled up.
But if you're like sitting here, going, I hear the words but
(16:44):
they're not touching me, thisevent is for you.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yes.
Well, let me tell you somethingelse that's really interesting.
Okay, I'll make a.
I'm totally going to make a bigannouncement here by telling
this, but I'm putting together abook myself, right?
Yes, and it's.
It's all about my pillars, theseven pillars of living an
unashamed life.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
That's what it's going to be called right, and
I'm going to explain the pillarsof depth it's going to be
awesome.
So am I the first one who knowsthis?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
No, there's a few people, but I haven't actually
made an announcement that I'mdoing it yet, but it's a big
announcement, it's getting outthere there, but I'll tell you
that after my book is out, it'sbeen a bit of a paper bag moment
.
These are what I call the paperbag moments, where you're like,
oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh mygosh, what am I doing?
(17:35):
And it's a whole lot like godis in a a stingray corvette,
driving like 150 000 miles anhour right, and your face is
like your cheeks are hitting theback of the car right, like
it's like one of those momentslike, oh my gosh, is this really
(17:55):
happening?
Right, but here's the deal.
It comes back to this you're adivine creator.
Once you start creating and youstart creating this beauty,
more creation comes from you,and more creation comes from you
and it becomes bigger and moreexact and more beautiful.
And I'm going through it again,guys, it's like, holy cow, am I
(18:21):
really going to be able tohandle this?
But God is reminding me.
Remember when I called you tobe a coach?
You have the same kind ofexperience, right, and now you
lean into it.
You've been doing it for awhile.
We're stepping in to more right, and this is the beauty of
(18:42):
divinity.
Like it seems scary, and thisis why actually a lot of people,
I think, don't step into it isbecause it seems so vast, it
seems so big and it sometimesseems bigger than what we are.
But even if you've beenbuilding a business, even if
you're just starting, the truthof the matter is there is a next
(19:05):
version of yourself, and that'swhat we get to experience in
this particular event.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, what you were saying reminded me of that quote
.
I don't have it in front of me,but it's Marianne Williamson.
Like people are not afraid of,do you know what?
Quote?
I'm talking about yeah, it'swhat about basically like if you
could like see how big you know, basically stop living small, I
mean, that was kind of thebasis.
(19:35):
But oh, that's such a goodquote.
I wish I had it because it wasso long.
With what you were just saying,it's all good.
It's all good.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
There's so many really good ones out there and
like another one, another bookyou were just saying it's all
good, it's all good, there's somany really good ones out there
and like another one, anotherbook, um, it's that.
It's that like where you raisethe ceiling, like the glass
ceiling or something, or the bigleap, oh, the big leap love
that book right.
Yeah, that's a good book too,where you're raising your
ceiling right, and we get to dothat as we see ourselves as
(19:59):
divine yeah, well, if anyone, ifanyone, has read Jamie Kern
Lima's book Worthy that justcame out a few months ago.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
She says your self-worth is your ceiling.
And so, yeah, as we recognizeour worth and we're like, is my
worth here?
I mean our worth is way up here, but like, where are we living?
But if our self-worth is ourceiling, we got to feel it.
(20:28):
We got to feel it all the wayinto our heart so we can raise
it.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
And then our you know our- finances and our
relationships and everythinggoes up when we know who we are
and we value ourselves Seriouslyseriously.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It really does.
It really does, yeah, okay.
So I want to ask you one morequestion, okay, without giving
away too much, because we wantpeople actually come and listen
to you, but give them a littletidbit.
Let me see if I got the titleright Finding your Thread of
Gold in your Betrayal Trauma?
Yes, is that your title?
Tell us just a few tidbits sowe know we can come and get some
really good value from that.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Well, let me first say there is not a single person
walking around this planet thathas not experienced betrayal.
Right?
God, like our sweet, wonderfulsavior, has experienced betrayal
.
God himself has experiencedbetrayal.
That's why we have a Luciferright, like every single person
(21:17):
on this planet has experiencedbetrayal.
What you do with it matters.
That's the key ingredient andthat's what a lot of what I'm
going to be talking about,because you can do one of two
things.
You can sit there and wallow init and say why me, right, and
I'm not saying that's a badthing, because I know every
(21:40):
single person that hasexperienced betrayal.
There's feelings of anger,shame, guilt, right, like all of
these things that come alongwith that betrayal.
And when you're still grapplingwith those, you can get very,
very angry when somebody saysit's what you choose to do with
it, right can get really angry.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I remember I was actually but, but.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
But I actually remember I was at an event with
tiffany peterson I think it waselevates event.
I can't remember, it was awhile ago, it was a while ago.
But she had a speaker on thestage and I was still kind of
deeply in my betrayal at thistime.
And speaker said for things tochange, I must change.
(22:29):
For things to get better, Imust get better.
Right, I wanted to huck atomato at him.
I was so mad.
I was like how dare you?
You do not know who I am, youdo not know what I've been
through.
Blah, blahah, blah, blah, blah,blah.
And this is what's really key ispeople don't understand that
everybody else in the room hasexperienced betrayal.
(22:51):
You think it's you, and onlyyou, that has experienced what
you've experienced.
I've talked to people who havehad some really grotesque
betrayals, to the point ofsatanic ritual abuse.
Right, yeah, pretty, prettygrotesque, pretty horrible
(23:12):
things that have happened.
Right, but in every single case, it's what they chose to do
with it that makes thedifference.
Right, and this is what I'mtalking about when it comes to
you know your betrayal, becauseyou know, looking at my own
(23:35):
personal experience and lookingat the experiences of my clients
, understanding that there'sactually a thread of gold in
there.
Okay, like you might see all ofthe rock, you might see all of
the coal dust you might.
You might feel like you'recompletely underground, digging
(23:57):
for gold, trying to find meaning, trying to find purpose, trying
to find all these things, andyou're like running from
dynamite and rocks literallyjust being thrown in your
direction and you're like Idon't know if I'm going to
survive and maybe you even feellike the whole mine has caved in
on you and you're running outof air.
Right, there's still a threadof gold.
(24:22):
There's still a thread of goldin this and there's four
components that come from traumathat, if you understand them
because that's what happens whenyou have that great, huge
explosion what's underneath isactually some thread of truth.
(24:42):
Now, it doesn't mean like thetruth is that you're a horrible
person or that you're notdeserving or anything like that.
That's what we tend to hear,that's what we tend to think
after betrayal, but it's nottrue.
The threat of gold is value,and if it's not making you feel
valuable, then it's a lie.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yeah, so I'm going to be talking about those four
components.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Oh, I can't wait to hear that to be so good.
So we did not pre-plan this, soI'm throwing this at you.
How do you help people that arestuck in victimhood?
Like you know, there's peoplethat the things to change you
have to change and they are justlike are you kidding me?
Look at what I've been through.
How do we help people realizethat there is a better way, or
(25:33):
that they cannot have to?
They don't have to be a victim,because I think a lot of times
with betrayal, they're used toplaying the victim role.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, and again, like it'sunderstandable right, yeah, yeah
, sometimes they've been throughsome really horrific, horrific
things.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yes, and I have a good friend, like I said that I,
I, when she told me her story,I was like, uh right, like holy,
that it's, it's quite.
It is by far the worst story ofbetrayal I've ever heard and
because it's so bad, I don'tshare it here because it would
(26:10):
literally it's that bad.
But I can say this You'retalking about my second pillar,
right?
Every one of the pillars.
Actually, yeah, every one ofthe pillars has an adversary
right.
Every truth has a lie.
Pillars has an adversary Right.
Every truth has a lie,everything has an opposite.
(26:31):
And if we understand thatconcept, that in and of itself
is a big freedom buster frombetrayal.
Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
So everyone needs to come and hear pillar two.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Well, I may talk about pillar two.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I'm probably not.
I can't do like.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
We can't do all of them.
I get it.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
No in 20 minutes.
No no no, no, it takes a lotlonger than that, but Pillar,
the adversary number two, is thevictim.
Right when we're sitting therefeeling like why me, why did
this happen to me?
Poor, poor me, all of thesethings?
Right, it's not that we want toget rid of that, it's that we
(27:14):
need to actually listen, right?
Do we like what we're hearing?
And if we're uncomfortable withthat, the opposite is, um, the
bounce back.
Or basically what we're talkingabout?
Understanding your divinity.
Ok, because a person who trulyunderstands their divinity does
(27:38):
not understand themselves as avictim.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Oh, I love that this is all coming together
beautifully.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yes, and it's true, right.
It's people who trulyunderstand who they are and see
themselves clearly put on thegod goggles and actually see
themselves the way god sees them.
They do not see themselves as avictim, and the reason why is
because and I say this with love, guys, just just let you know
(28:09):
but the person who sawthemselves as the victim first
was the one who fell from heaven, and he refuses to see himself
as anything else, that'sinteresting because, as you were
saying, I was gonna be like,yeah, christ doesn't see himself
as a victim, he's the.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Was gonna be like, yeah, christ doesn't see himself
as a victim, he's the savior,right.
But like if you look ateverything he went through, yeah
, someone might be like, oh wow,yeah, that was, that was
horrible yeah, that was prettyrough what he went through and
he understands betrayal likethis is a story we use a lot in
my coaching.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Right, but he never lost sight of who he was and his
divinity.
And that's the key.
Now we do, that's what makes usimperfect, Right, but when God
says be therefore perfect, he'snot saying never make a mistake.
He's saying remember who youare.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Oh, I love that too.
That's so good, well, and Ilove that you're going to be
talking about healing, right,like this whole thing is healing
and the thing is, as we heal,something could happen to us and
instead we recognize this barbthat someone tried to shoot at
us.
It doesn't hit us, we recognizethey are hurting and so all of
(29:28):
a sudden you're like likebecause this happened recently
to me and so, um, oh, it wasokay, I was fine because I knew
what it was.
It wasn't, it wasn't me, it wasa demonstration of their pain
and where they were at.
But that sets the question like, how do you help people get out
of victimhood?
So, yeah, we have to help themfeel their divinity and know
their worth.
So here here we go, right backto the beginning.
(29:51):
Yeah, I love it, it's true,it's true.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
And I will say that once you understand that you
can't go back either.
Yeah, can you get mad at people?
Yeah, can you be like,seriously, guys, seriously?
Yeah, can you want to shakepeople and be like will you
please wake up?
Yes, but the truth of thematter is is the only person you
(30:21):
can actually get through thedoor to heaven is you?
Yeah, that's the only person.
I love my kids.
I've got six of them.
I don't know if you can hearthem in the background, but,
like I said, aborigines right,they're cute.
They're cute littlecurly-headed, brown-eyed,
blue-eyed, blonde-haired, likeall kinds of mixtures in there
knocking at my door.
(30:41):
Mom, I need you right now, eventhough I'm in the middle of a
podcast kind of a thing.
Right, total aborigines.
But I can't even get themthrough the door of heaven.
I can show them the way I onlyby me living it I love it this
is the piece that we've got tounderstand, and you can't do
(31:05):
that.
if you're stuck in victim mode,somebody can completely
victimize you, but that doesn'tmean you have to victimize
yourself.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Absolutely and, like I said, because I was in a good
place when someone threw thesebarbs at me, it didn't hurt,
like there was a family memberthat said something to me was
like, oh, it's OK, it didn'tbother me, like it truly didn't
bother me, it just meant theyare really hurting.
And I was like man, how can Ihelp them?
How can I help them Becausethey're hurting so much?
And you know we've heard thathurt people, hurt people.
(31:39):
Anyway, we've kind of gone offtrack a little bit but this has
been beautiful.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
So could, um, so could we go ahead and share the
link?
Or how do you typically sharethings with your podcast?
We can talk about that.
Yes, tell me, tell, telleverybody the link.
How do they get tickets to this?
And, um, I'm curious to somepeople, like I have.
I have an audience literallythat is global.
I have people from all over theworld that might not be able to
fly in to.
Utah, so are we opening up it'sgetting close.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
It's getting really close.
So go to mydivinejoycom andyou'll hear all.
You'll hear more about it.
Oh, what's?
Oh, can you hear me again?
My headset is acting up, okay,so mydivinejoycom get more info.
There at the very bottom it hasa place to sign up in person
and, like I said, it's in Layton, utah, so just North of Salt
(32:31):
Lake a little bit.
However, we are creating anonline wait list and we are
getting close to be able toopening that.
So people just go and they'll.
As soon as I we get it built,we can get it out to people.
But again, we being in personis special.
If you are close by, come alsocheck out the VIP option.
The VIP option I can just like.
(32:52):
If I was going, I would want tohave the VIP option.
Yes, I would too.
I would too, and it's only $100extra and what you get is
fabulous.
It's so worth it and you areworth it, right.
You are worthy of VIP.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Yes, you are, you are worth it.
Right, you are worthy of VIP.
Yes, you are, you are, youabsolutely are, you absolutely
are.
And I will say, being in personis a is a completely different
experience, because not only areyou feeding off you know the
energy of the presenters butyou're feeding off the energy of
the room and so you get like alot more being there in person,
(33:28):
but we also understand that noteverybody can be there.
You know, absolutely Like youknow a person in France, yeah, I
wouldn't, I wouldn't mind ifyou want to come, but just just
just plan a few extra days, ohand I want to say that right now
.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
So, if they listen, soon we have a coupon code.
You can save $30 with the wordmiracle, ooh.
So, yes, miracle, save $30 andgo grab your ticket now.
We really could sell out, rightLike it's a large event, but it
could sell out.
So the sooner you get yourticket, the better, and the VIP
is even more limited.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
So if you want that.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
VIP snag, that soon.
Vip is even more limited.
So if you want that VIP snag,that suit and the miracle, the
$30 is for the VIP or thegeneral admission.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Is that capitalized or non-cap?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
You know, I think any of them will work.
Honestly, I think when I typeit in, it makes it cap.
So it just.
If you do all caps, that'sgreat, but I think it should
work.
Maybe it is all caps, I don'tknow.
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I should ask my tech people Try it both ways, just in
case.
So you definitely get thatdiscount, because 30 bucks off
that's a good deal.
Yes, yeah, it's going to help alot.
Okay, for sure, awesome, yeah,come attend.
We've got some amazing, amazingspeakers and it is seriously
going to fill your bucket andhelp you so much.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, I'll just throw a little bit out.
Like we've mentioned Tiffany,we've mentioned Seidel and Kelly
K Walker.
Of course, you, me, someone,everyone who loves you is also
gonna love Cherie Pack.
She's flying in from Michigan.
We have Marlena Hollis flyingin from Tennessee.
She's a pastor and she is ago-getter.
I'm so excited to meet her inperson.
We also have Cindy Bayless andChristy Corliss.
(35:16):
Who am I missing?
Cause I've stopped counting.
I know I know.
Oh, we have Melissa Price.
Did I get everyone?
Now I feel like I might bemissing someone.
I don't know.
Anyway, it's a really greatlineup.
So if you know even a few ofthose names, you're like wow,
this is an amazing group ofwomen.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Yes, it really is, and I get to work personally
with a lot of them, so, yeah,it's fun.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
All right, thank you, erin.
I so appreciate you having meon and look forward to seeing
you in just a couple weeks.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yes, and for anybody listening, like I said, come
join us, you guys.
This is so worth it.
It's totally affordable too,which is amazing.
So go grab your ticket, go snagit, miracle, divinejoycom, and
I'll see you guys there, it'sMyDivineJoycom.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Oh, mydivinejoy, thank you for fixing that.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yes, so, mydiv, my divine joy, oh, my divine joy.
Thank you for fixing that.
Yeah, so my divine joycommiracle for $30 off.
Come see us, absolutely, like Itotally want to see you.
Come give me a big hug.
Okay, all right, you guys.
Thank you, eric, y'all.
Thank you so much, heather.
It was such a amazing, amazingpodcast and until next week, you
(36:28):
guys, I'll see you on the otherside, bye, bye.
Okay, so I've got a questionfor you.
Have you joined my freeFacebook group or Instagram page
(36:49):
yet?
If you haven't, go and do thatand this is the reason why I
always post my freebies, updatedinformation and all kinds of
goodies for my community in thatpage.
I'm also really active.
I post videos, I answerquestions.
(37:09):
So if you guys really reallywant to get in and interact with
me, go like me on Facebook, gojoin my group.
The Other Side of the StruggleHealing from Betrayal Trauma.
Come find me on Instagram, erinAnderson, betrayal Trauma Coach
and come follow me, because Ialways have something good there
(37:30):
just for you, my audience, andI love connecting with you there
.
I also post anytime that I havegroups going on.
I talk sometimes about myprograms.
So if you guys are interestedin working with me or even just
following me and getting as muchfree content as you possibly
(37:53):
can, go, hang out in my group,go connect with the ladies that
are there.
Um, also come and join immuneand unashamed uh, for those
married couples that arefollowing me, because in that
group, me and my businesspartner kyson kid are also
talking and offering some greatcontent.
Hey everyone, it's Erin Anderson with the Erin
Anderson Betrayal TraumaCoaching.
I am super excited that youhave tuned in.
Today.
Let's get talking about how toheal from betrayal trauma.
Welcome to the other side ofthe struggle trauma, how to heal
(00:41):
it and then how to take it anduse it to unlock your mission
and your potential and to use itto live your very best dream
life.
When you're dealing withbetrayal trauma, it can be hard
to know how to heal it, how tostop the pain and to know what
(01:02):
your next steps are to take inyour own life, and these are the
questions that we try to answerhere.
Trauma has the ability to robus of our joy and identity,
which is why it's so miserableto experience.
But with the right tools andwith the right mindset, we can
(01:23):
totally reclaim that joy andeven use this trauma to
strengthen ourselves.
So that way, trauma does notknock us off of our joy again.
Living your dream life shouldbe a non-negotiable, but trauma
tends to try to negotiate thatwith you.
(01:45):
And even though trauma is notsomething that we will
completely ever be free of inour life, the pain is negotiable
.
This is why I created ErinAnderson Betrayal Trauma
Coaching and this podcast isbecause I want my listeners, I
(02:08):
want my clients, to live trulylive free from the prison that
trauma can put you in.
I want you to live on the otherside of the struggle.
(02:41):
Hey everyone, welcome back toanother episode of the Other
Side of the Struggle Guys.
I'm really excited.
I have a really special guestwith me today.
Her name is Heather Nilsen andHeather is actually putting on
the event that's coming upAugust 3rd 2024 in Layton Is
that right?
Layton, utah?
(03:01):
Yeah, it is, and it's going tobe the Divine Daughter event,
where Christian women can cometogether and we can talk to you
guys about, like, how to stepinto your divine self, your
divine life, your divine beauty,like this person you were
actually created to be, which isso cool to actually understand,
(03:26):
and like it's so it lends somepower, and we're going to talk
about that actually today inthis podcast and, if you guys
like it, if you love what youhear today, I totally want you
guys to come and join us for theDivine Daughter event.
So, without further ado,heather, so excited to have you
(03:51):
on and tell us a little bitabout the event that we're doing
.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh, absolutely.
Thank you, erin.
Okay, so the name of the eventis Divine Daughter, you Are
Worthy, and it is just a one-dayretreat.
It's one day because as women,we are busy, we wear so many
different hats, right, and sofor me to go to a three day
event is a major ordeal.
So, yeah, it's like really hard, almost impossible, especially
(04:16):
because I still have some youngkids at home, and so it's one
day.
It's meant to be this day thatwe just come and we just get
filled up and we leave with whatwe need.
Our bucket is full and thefocus is divine daughter, right,
stepping into our divineidentity, and so often we do
wear so many hats that thatdivine daughter hat I mean like
(04:38):
when do we pull that out?
Right, like we're busy beinglike mom, cook, chauffeur.
It's summer, so then we're likeactivities coordinator,
entertainer, like all the things, and so that part of ourselves
can get lost and get buried, andthen, along with that, you are
worthy.
Now there's been a lot aboutworthiness, and the way that
this event even came up is itwas back in March.
(05:01):
I heard a song on the radio youare of worth, and I was.
It really touched me.
I was like, wow, that would bea great topic for an event.
And my brain was like, yeah,but you have an event in April,
so you have to focus on thatevent right now.
So, and so I did.
And then it came up again like,remember, you had that idea and
(05:22):
it was still April.
By then it was March and it wasApril.
I was like, yep, but we're inthe midst of this event.
And then finally, in May, whenthe event was over, I was like,
okay, I get it, I'm finding avenue.
So it took a few divine nudges,which is actually, I mean, I
love that.
That's what we're talking aboutat the event is like being being
in tune with spirits and beingguided, and this is for any
(05:46):
Christian women, all faiths, alldenominations, and it really
has a focus for people that arebusiness owners.
But as long as you know, like ifyou don't have a business but
you feel like, oh my gosh, thisis still a topic I want to come
feel you are welcome.
I mean, you're welcome ifyou're not Christian, but just
know the audience and what we'regoing to be talking about.
But it really is just going tohelp us because, especially as
(06:08):
business owners, that's, that'slike another dozen hats or so,
right as we're doing, likemarketing and sales and course
creation and all these things.
And so how can we yeah, how canwe pull that all together?
And then, really, when we are,we are divinely connected and it
changes who we are, it changeshow we show up, it changes the
ideas we get, as I can attest toand it just changes us from the
(06:32):
inside out, and so that's a lotwhat we're going to be talking
about at this event.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Oh, I love it and you know that's going to be so much
fun because I'll tell you, likeI've been doing coaching for 11
years, right, helping womenthrough betrayal trauma and I
can tell you that when I firstunderstood my divinity, I was
not an entrepreneur, or at leastI didn't think I was.
(06:59):
Honestly, I truly believe nowthat every mother is an
entrepreneur, like you have tohave entrepreneur skills just to
be a mom, like you totally do.
I don't know if you could hearthe Aborigines in the background
just a couple of seconds ago,but, yeah, like you get what I'm
saying, like I do.
But you know, that's the coolthing about this is, once you
(07:22):
start to understand thisdivinity, this mission, this
purpose, like, like this callingthis is, this is an event for
women who have a calling.
Absolutely, that's what I'mhearing, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, absolutely.
And the speakers are amazing,like, our keynote speaker is
Tiffany Peterson.
If you don't know, tiff, youare in for a treat and there is
a VIP option.
So the VIP option you get tohave a private lunch with her
and you'll get a signed copy ofher book, her creation journal.
(07:57):
So I mean that VIP is amazing.
But if you, if that's not inyour budget or whatever, still
just come for the generaladmission.
It's going to be so good.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes, yes, and we do have a really good lineup of
speakers and a lot of them haveactually been on this podcast.
Like there's Seidel Schultz,kelly K Walker, she both of them
have been on this podcast and,like like some really, really
amazing speakers and a lot ofamazing women in general who
have taken that calling and madeit into something more.
(08:30):
So it's going to be reallyawesome to awaken and bring that
new you out, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah.
So let's talk a little bitabout you, because you're one of
the speakers.
I'm so excited to have you.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
So, because this is faith based, talk a little bit
about how you integrate yourfaith in with your business
practices a latter-day saint,right, and I will say that my
general people are Christian,right, they're not just
(09:08):
latter-day saints, but they'reChristian in general, and so
they have this deep faith andthis deep belief in Christ.
And when you understand thatdeep faith and that deep belief
in Christ, there are two maincomponents that happen you are a
truth seeker, a seeker of alltruth.
You are a truth seeker, aseeker of all truth, and you are
(09:28):
deeply respectful, which isreally interesting, and these
are two keys that actuallyfacilitate healing as well.
See, you know, because you guyshave, like, you guys have heard
me talk about, um, my betrayaland my traumas and and the
things that have hurt me, rightin the past, and I'll tell you
(09:50):
now, I'm still not immune tobetrayal and trauma.
I'm not, but I have a lot oftools in my belt, but the two
key tools that I pull out almostevery single time that I've had
a new betrayal or a new traumais that truth, what is true in
this situation?
And second, how can I be deeplyrespectful for myself and for
(10:13):
everyone else?
Right, because really, if youtalk about faith, faith
incorporates those two elementsalmost exactly.
We faith is an action, right,we take action based upon the
things that we know to be true,and we take action based out of
(10:35):
self-respect.
So you know, talking about my,my like, my message, my, my
being like everything, I'velearned everything I do.
It is due to those two elementsright there.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I love that.
I love being a seeker of truth,because I I always consider
myself a lifelong learner and Ihadn't actually made that jump
from like a lifelong learner totruth seeker.
But you're absolutely right,and so I'm so glad you brought
that up, because that was likean aha moment for me, like, oh
yeah, I'm not just seekinglearning, I'm seeking truth.
(11:14):
So love, love that, so so much.
And you've already kind oftouched on this.
But do you want to talk moreabout how embracing your divine
identity and your innate worthhas helped you in your business?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
like it sounds like it's all you talk about, like
you gotta get it in here so youcan show up yes, well, and you
know, okay, I love this topic somuch because here's the deal.
Okay, healing is all aboutgospel, it's all about divinity,
right, like christ's wholepurpose, his whole being, his
(11:49):
whole thing was about healing,right, yeah, that's what he did,
but it's because they saw atransformation in themselves.
They went back back to theirroots, they went back to who
they were divinely.
Okay.
(12:10):
Now let me tell you something.
When I decided to heal, thefirst thing that God showed me
was, like, the differentrelationships, and if you guys
want to know more about that,you know there's the relational
tears episode.
That's a few episodes down, soyou might have to dig for it,
but it's there if you want tolearn more about the relational
(12:32):
tears.
But it was a little while laterthat I had these like feelings
of do I deserve this?
Had these like feelings of do Ideserve this?
Right, like, like, do I reallydeserve this?
And like this feeling of like,who am I?
I'm just this little potent kidfrom Emory County, right, like,
(12:54):
and those of you that knowEmory County, like a tumbleweed
is probably going to be yourbest friend over there, because
that's like all that's there,right, and like, nothing against
people listening from EmoryCounty.
I love you, but you guys knowwhat I mean.
Like we didn't get a stoplightuntil maybe like five years ago.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I understand.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
We still don't have a stoplight in my county, so it's
like, like little tiny thingsso it's like, like little, tiny
things, and it's like when you,when you come from a little tiny
community, sometimes you tendto think of yourself as little
and tiny and that's not true,like it's absolutely not true.
God created us to be divine andif you think about this, god is
(13:42):
divine.
He put that inside of us, sothere's something really big
there and it wasn't.
I didn't feel that major shiftin myself until I started
understanding myself that way heshowed me and it was the most
(14:03):
humble experience.
Like like people are afraidthat if they believe in
themselves to that degree wherethey are in awe of what they
created, if they're in awe ofwho they are, if they're in awe
of themselves, then all of asudden, man, maybe I'm prideful,
right, but the truth of thematter is is when you feel those
(14:25):
things, that is actually thedefinition of humility.
I've never been more humbled inmy entire life as I am when God
gives me these little bits andsnippets of who I was actually
divinely created to be and heshows me how pleased and how
proud he is of me.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Well, I love that you brought that up, because what,
what like the thing is.
I've heard that for years, youknow decades.
I'm a child of God.
I'm a daughter of God, but itwas all cerebral.
It needs to move from our headinto our heart, and that's what
this event is about, becausewhen it moves from your head to
your heart and that's what thisevent is about because when it
moves from your head to yourheart.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
That's the big difference.
Yes, and it's so true and it'snot prideful at all, like
actually accepting the fact thatyou are a child of god.
Therefore you have inside ofyou godly characteristics,
because, hello, who who outthere does not have
characteristics of their parents?
Even even adopted childrenstill have characteristics of
(15:30):
birth parents and adoptedparents.
We, just we do, we tend to.
Yeah, right, if that's the case, and you have, like, this
vision of who god is and he'sthis grand, your being, well,
what does that make you?
And if he is this great creator, what does that make you?
(15:55):
Right, yeah, maybe, maybe notat his scale yet, and I I'm not
there.
I'm still walking around theplanet on a skin suit, like I'm
just saying yeah, but likesimply creating what I have
created has brought me closer tothat vision that God has given
(16:19):
me, and it's something youcannot deny.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, vision that God has given me and it's something
you cannot deny.
Yeah, yeah, and so I reallywant to invite people that are
are struggling with that.
This is the exact event youneed to attend, because if
you're feeling disconnected,that's why you need to be here.
If you're already feelingconnected, wonderful, just come
and be filled up.
But if you're like sitting here, going, I hear the words but
(16:44):
they're not touching me, thisevent is for you.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yes.
Well, let me tell you somethingelse that's really interesting.
Okay, I'll make a.
I'm totally going to make a bigannouncement here by telling
this, but I'm putting together abook myself, right?
Yes, and it's.
It's all about my pillars, theseven pillars of living an
unashamed life.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
That's what it's going to be called right, and
I'm going to explain the pillarsof depth it's going to be
awesome.
So am I the first one who knowsthis?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
No, there's a few people, but I haven't actually
made an announcement that I'mdoing it yet, but it's a big
announcement, it's getting outthere there, but I'll tell you
that after my book is out, it'sbeen a bit of a paper bag moment
.
These are what I call the paperbag moments, where you're like,
oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh mygosh, what am I doing?
(17:35):
And it's a whole lot like godis in a a stingray corvette,
driving like 150 000 miles anhour right, and your face is
like your cheeks are hitting theback of the car right, like
it's like one of those momentslike, oh my gosh, is this really
(17:55):
happening?
Right, but here's the deal.
It comes back to this you're adivine creator.
Once you start creating and youstart creating this beauty,
more creation comes from you,and more creation comes from you
and it becomes bigger and moreexact and more beautiful.
And I'm going through it again,guys, it's like, holy cow, am I
(18:21):
really going to be able tohandle this?
But God is reminding me.
Remember when I called you tobe a coach?
You have the same kind ofexperience, right, and now you
lean into it.
You've been doing it for awhile.
We're stepping in to more right, and this is the beauty of
(18:42):
divinity.
Like it seems scary, and thisis why actually a lot of people,
I think, don't step into it isbecause it seems so vast, it
seems so big and it sometimesseems bigger than what we are.
But even if you've beenbuilding a business, even if
you're just starting, the truthof the matter is there is a next
(19:05):
version of yourself, and that'swhat we get to experience in
this particular event.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, what you were saying reminded me of that quote
.
I don't have it in front of me,but it's Marianne Williamson.
Like people are not afraid of,do you know what?
Quote?
I'm talking about yeah, it'swhat about basically like if you
could like see how big you know, basically stop living small, I
mean, that was kind of thebasis.
(19:35):
But oh, that's such a goodquote.
I wish I had it because it wasso long.
With what you were just saying,it's all good.
It's all good.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
There's so many really good ones out there and
like another one, another bookyou were just saying it's all
good, it's all good, there's somany really good ones out there
and like another one, anotherbook, um, it's that.
It's that like where you raisethe ceiling, like the glass
ceiling or something, or the bigleap, oh, the big leap love
that book right.
Yeah, that's a good book too,where you're raising your
ceiling right, and we get to dothat as we see ourselves as
(19:59):
divine yeah, well, if anyone, ifanyone, has read Jamie Kern
Lima's book Worthy that justcame out a few months ago.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
She says your self-worth is your ceiling.
And so, yeah, as we recognizeour worth and we're like, is my
worth here?
I mean our worth is way up here, but like, where are we living?
But if our self-worth is ourceiling, we got to feel it.
(20:28):
We got to feel it all the wayinto our heart so we can raise
it.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
And then our you know our- finances and our
relationships and everythinggoes up when we know who we are
and we value ourselves Seriouslyseriously.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It really does.
It really does, yeah, okay.
So I want to ask you one morequestion, okay, without giving
away too much, because we wantpeople actually come and listen
to you, but give them a littletidbit.
Let me see if I got the titleright Finding your Thread of
Gold in your Betrayal Trauma?
Yes, is that your title?
Tell us just a few tidbits sowe know we can come and get some
really good value from that.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Well, let me first say there is not a single person
walking around this planet thathas not experienced betrayal.
Right?
God, like our sweet, wonderfulsavior, has experienced betrayal
.
God himself has experiencedbetrayal.
That's why we have a Luciferright, like every single person
(21:17):
on this planet has experiencedbetrayal.
What you do with it matters.
That's the key ingredient andthat's what a lot of what I'm
going to be talking about,because you can do one of two
things.
You can sit there and wallow init and say why me, right, and
I'm not saying that's a badthing, because I know every
(21:40):
single person that hasexperienced betrayal.
There's feelings of anger,shame, guilt, right, like all of
these things that come alongwith that betrayal.
And when you're still grapplingwith those, you can get very,
very angry when somebody saysit's what you choose to do with
it, right can get really angry.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I remember I was actually but, but.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
But I actually remember I was at an event with
tiffany peterson I think it waselevates event.
I can't remember, it was awhile ago, it was a while ago.
But she had a speaker on thestage and I was still kind of
deeply in my betrayal at thistime.
And speaker said for things tochange, I must change.
(22:29):
For things to get better, Imust get better.
Right, I wanted to huck atomato at him.
I was so mad.
I was like how dare you?
You do not know who I am, youdo not know what I've been
through.
Blah, blahah, blah, blah, blah,blah.
And this is what's really key ispeople don't understand that
everybody else in the room hasexperienced betrayal.
(22:51):
You think it's you, and onlyyou, that has experienced what
you've experienced.
I've talked to people who havehad some really grotesque
betrayals, to the point ofsatanic ritual abuse.
Right, yeah, pretty, prettygrotesque, pretty horrible
(23:12):
things that have happened.
Right, but in every single case, it's what they chose to do
with it that makes thedifference.
Right, and this is what I'mtalking about when it comes to
you know your betrayal, becauseyou know, looking at my own
(23:35):
personal experience and lookingat the experiences of my clients
, understanding that there'sactually a thread of gold in
there.
Okay, like you might see all ofthe rock, you might see all of
the coal dust you might.
You might feel like you'recompletely underground, digging
(23:57):
for gold, trying to find meaning, trying to find purpose, trying
to find all these things, andyou're like running from
dynamite and rocks literallyjust being thrown in your
direction and you're like Idon't know if I'm going to
survive and maybe you even feellike the whole mine has caved in
on you and you're running outof air.
Right, there's still a threadof gold.
(24:22):
There's still a thread of goldin this and there's four
components that come from traumathat, if you understand them
because that's what happens whenyou have that great, huge
explosion what's underneath isactually some thread of truth.
(24:42):
Now, it doesn't mean like thetruth is that you're a horrible
person or that you're notdeserving or anything like that.
That's what we tend to hear,that's what we tend to think
after betrayal, but it's nottrue.
The threat of gold is value,and if it's not making you feel
valuable, then it's a lie.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yeah, so I'm going to be talking about those four
components.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Oh, I can't wait to hear that to be so good.
So we did not pre-plan this, soI'm throwing this at you.
How do you help people that arestuck in victimhood?
Like you know, there's peoplethat the things to change you
have to change and they are justlike are you kidding me?
Look at what I've been through.
How do we help people realizethat there is a better way, or
(25:33):
that they cannot have to?
They don't have to be a victim,because I think a lot of times
with betrayal, they're used toplaying the victim role.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, and again, like it'sunderstandable right, yeah, yeah
, sometimes they've been throughsome really horrific, horrific
things.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yes, and I have a good friend, like I said that I,
I, when she told me her story,I was like, uh right, like holy,
that it's, it's quite.
It is by far the worst story ofbetrayal I've ever heard and
because it's so bad, I don'tshare it here because it would
(26:10):
literally it's that bad.
But I can say this You'retalking about my second pillar,
right?
Every one of the pillars.
Actually, yeah, every one ofthe pillars has an adversary
right.
Every truth has a lie.
Pillars has an adversary Right.
Every truth has a lie,everything has an opposite.
(26:31):
And if we understand thatconcept, that in and of itself
is a big freedom buster frombetrayal.
Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
So everyone needs to come and hear pillar two.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Well, I may talk about pillar two.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I'm probably not.
I can't do like.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
We can't do all of them.
I get it.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
No in 20 minutes.
No no no, no, it takes a lotlonger than that, but Pillar,
the adversary number two, is thevictim.
Right when we're sitting therefeeling like why me, why did
this happen to me?
Poor, poor me, all of thesethings?
Right, it's not that we want toget rid of that, it's that we
(27:14):
need to actually listen, right?
Do we like what we're hearing?
And if we're uncomfortable withthat, the opposite is, um, the
bounce back.
Or basically what we're talkingabout?
Understanding your divinity.
Ok, because a person who trulyunderstands their divinity does
(27:38):
not understand themselves as avictim.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Oh, I love that this is all coming together
beautifully.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yes, and it's true, right.
It's people who trulyunderstand who they are and see
themselves clearly put on thegod goggles and actually see
themselves the way god sees them.
They do not see themselves as avictim, and the reason why is
because and I say this with love, guys, just just let you know
(28:09):
but the person who sawthemselves as the victim first
was the one who fell from heaven, and he refuses to see himself
as anything else, that'sinteresting because, as you were
saying, I was gonna be like,yeah, christ doesn't see himself
as a victim, he's the.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Was gonna be like, yeah, christ doesn't see himself
as a victim, he's the savior,right.
But like if you look ateverything he went through, yeah
, someone might be like, oh wow,yeah, that was, that was
horrible yeah, that was prettyrough what he went through and
he understands betrayal likethis is a story we use a lot in
my coaching.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Right, but he never lost sight of who he was and his
divinity.
And that's the key.
Now we do, that's what makes usimperfect, Right, but when God
says be therefore perfect, he'snot saying never make a mistake.
He's saying remember who youare.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Oh, I love that too.
That's so good, well, and Ilove that you're going to be
talking about healing, right,like this whole thing is healing
and the thing is, as we heal,something could happen to us and
instead we recognize this barbthat someone tried to shoot at
us.
It doesn't hit us, we recognizethey are hurting and so all of
(29:28):
a sudden you're like likebecause this happened recently
to me and so, um, oh, it wasokay, I was fine because I knew
what it was.
It wasn't, it wasn't me, it wasa demonstration of their pain
and where they were at.
But that sets the question like, how do you help people get out
of victimhood?
So, yeah, we have to help themfeel their divinity and know
their worth.
So here here we go, right backto the beginning.
(29:51):
Yeah, I love it, it's true,it's true.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
And I will say that once you understand that you
can't go back either.
Yeah, can you get mad at people?
Yeah, can you be like,seriously, guys, seriously?
Yeah, can you want to shakepeople and be like will you
please wake up?
Yes, but the truth of thematter is is the only person you
(30:21):
can actually get through thedoor to heaven is you?
Yeah, that's the only person.
I love my kids.
I've got six of them.
I don't know if you can hearthem in the background, but,
like I said, aborigines right,they're cute.
They're cute littlecurly-headed, brown-eyed,
blue-eyed, blonde-haired, likeall kinds of mixtures in there
knocking at my door.
(30:41):
Mom, I need you right now, eventhough I'm in the middle of a
podcast kind of a thing.
Right, total aborigines.
But I can't even get themthrough the door of heaven.
I can show them the way I onlyby me living it I love it this
is the piece that we've got tounderstand, and you can't do
(31:05):
that.
if you're stuck in victim mode,somebody can completely
victimize you, but that doesn'tmean you have to victimize
yourself.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Absolutely and, like I said, because I was in a good
place when someone threw thesebarbs at me, it didn't hurt,
like there was a family memberthat said something to me was
like, oh, it's OK, it didn'tbother me, like it truly didn't
bother me, it just meant theyare really hurting.
And I was like man, how can Ihelp them?
How can I help them Becausethey're hurting so much?
And you know we've heard thathurt people, hurt people.
(31:39):
Anyway, we've kind of gone offtrack a little bit but this has
been beautiful.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
So could, um, so could we go ahead and share the
link?
Or how do you typically sharethings with your podcast?
We can talk about that.
Yes, tell me, tell, telleverybody the link.
How do they get tickets to this?
And, um, I'm curious to somepeople, like I have.
I have an audience literallythat is global.
I have people from all over theworld that might not be able to
fly in to.
Utah, so are we opening up it'sgetting close.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
It's getting really close.
So go to mydivinejoycom andyou'll hear all.
You'll hear more about it.
Oh, what's?
Oh, can you hear me again?
My headset is acting up, okay,so mydivinejoycom get more info.
There at the very bottom it hasa place to sign up in person
and, like I said, it's in Layton, utah, so just North of Salt
(32:31):
Lake a little bit.
However, we are creating anonline wait list and we are
getting close to be able toopening that.
So people just go and they'll.
As soon as I we get it built,we can get it out to people.
But again, we being in personis special.
If you are close by, come alsocheck out the VIP option.
The VIP option I can just like.
(32:52):
If I was going, I would want tohave the VIP option.
Yes, I would too.
I would too, and it's only $100extra and what you get is
fabulous.
It's so worth it and you areworth it, right.
You are worthy of VIP.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Yes, you are, you are worth it.
Right, you are worthy of VIP.
Yes, you are, you are, youabsolutely are, you absolutely
are.
And I will say, being in personis a is a completely different
experience, because not only areyou feeding off you know the
energy of the presenters butyou're feeding off the energy of
the room and so you get like alot more being there in person,
(33:28):
but we also understand that noteverybody can be there.
You know, absolutely Like youknow a person in France, yeah, I
wouldn't, I wouldn't mind ifyou want to come, but just just
just plan a few extra days, ohand I want to say that right now
.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
So, if they listen, soon we have a coupon code.
You can save $30 with the wordmiracle, ooh.
So, yes, miracle, save $30 andgo grab your ticket now.
We really could sell out, rightLike it's a large event, but it
could sell out.
So the sooner you get yourticket, the better, and the VIP
is even more limited.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
So if you want that.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
VIP snag, that soon.
Vip is even more limited.
So if you want that VIP snag,that suit and the miracle, the
$30 is for the VIP or thegeneral admission.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Is that capitalized or non-cap?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
You know, I think any of them will work.
Honestly, I think when I typeit in, it makes it cap.
So it just.
If you do all caps, that'sgreat, but I think it should
work.
Maybe it is all caps, I don'tknow.
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I should ask my tech people Try it both ways, just in
case.
So you definitely get thatdiscount, because 30 bucks off
that's a good deal.
Yes, yeah, it's going to help alot.
Okay, for sure, awesome, yeah,come attend.
We've got some amazing, amazingspeakers and it is seriously
going to fill your bucket andhelp you so much.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, I'll just throw a little bit out.
Like we've mentioned Tiffany,we've mentioned Seidel and Kelly
K Walker.
Of course, you, me, someone,everyone who loves you is also
gonna love Cherie Pack.
She's flying in from Michigan.
We have Marlena Hollis flyingin from Tennessee.
She's a pastor and she is ago-getter.
I'm so excited to meet her inperson.
We also have Cindy Bayless andChristy Corliss.
(35:16):
Who am I missing?
Cause I've stopped counting.
I know I know.
Oh, we have Melissa Price.
Did I get everyone?
Now I feel like I might bemissing someone.
I don't know.
Anyway, it's a really greatlineup.
So if you know even a few ofthose names, you're like wow,
this is an amazing group ofwomen.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Yes, it really is, and I get to work personally
with a lot of them, so, yeah,it's fun.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
All right, thank you, erin.
I so appreciate you having meon and look forward to seeing
you in just a couple weeks.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yes, and for anybody listening, like I said, come
join us, you guys.
This is so worth it.
It's totally affordable too,which is amazing.
So go grab your ticket, go snagit, miracle, divinejoycom, and
I'll see you guys there, it'sMyDivineJoycom.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Oh, mydivinejoy, thank you for fixing that.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yes, so, mydiv, my divine joy, oh, my divine joy.
Thank you for fixing that.
Yeah, so my divine joycommiracle for $30 off.
Come see us, absolutely, like Itotally want to see you.
Come give me a big hug.
Okay, all right, you guys.
Thank you, eric, y'all.
Thank you so much, heather.
It was such a amazing, amazingpodcast and until next week, you
(36:28):
guys, I'll see you on the otherside, bye, bye.
Okay, so I've got a questionfor you.
Have you joined my freeFacebook group or Instagram page
(36:49):
yet?
If you haven't, go and do thatand this is the reason why I
always post my freebies, updatedinformation and all kinds of
goodies for my community in thatpage.
I'm also really active.
I post videos, I answerquestions.
(37:09):
So if you guys really reallywant to get in and interact with
me, go like me on Facebook, gojoin my group.
The Other Side of the StruggleHealing from Betrayal Trauma.
Come find me on Instagram, erinAnderson, betrayal Trauma Coach
and come follow me, because Ialways have something good there
(37:30):
just for you, my audience, andI love connecting with you there
.
I also post anytime that I havegroups going on.
I talk sometimes about myprograms.
So if you guys are interestedin working with me or even just
following me and getting as muchfree content as you possibly
(37:53):
can, go, hang out in my group,go connect with the ladies that
are there.
Um, also come and join immuneand unashamed uh, for those
married couples that arefollowing me, because in that
group, me and my businesspartner kyson kid are also
talking and offering some greatcontent.
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