July 1, 2024 • 57 mins
Ever wondered how betrayal could shape your entrepreneurial journey? Join us as we unpack this profound topic . I will open up about my personal struggles and the unexpected ways my faith played a pivotal role in my recovery. I also talk about the notion that formal certifications are a must for success, urging us to lean into divine guidance and self-healing. Listen in as we explore the hidden impacts of betrayal trauma, such as imposter syndrome, and how overcoming these hurdles can lead to remarkable transformations in both business and personal relationships.
Clutter in your workspace or your mind got you stuck? This episode sheds light on the powerful connection between organization and mental clarity. Alongside practical tips for purging physical spaces and limiting beliefs, we discuss the critical role of self-talk and setting boundaries. Real-life examples reveal how unresolved trauma often manifests as disorganization, creating barriers to success. By addressing these underlying issues and standing firm in our integrity, we can create a more balanced and productive life, both at home and in our careers.
Finally, we dive into the importance of boundaries in achieving entrepreneurial success. Discover how our unique gifts and past traumas shape our purpose, and how tools like the human design program can offer profound self-awareness. My story underscores the value of healing from trauma and setting solid boundaries to elevate both professional and personal achievements. Stay tuned for our upcoming segment on human design, where we continue to explore these transformative topics with renewed excitement.
If you would like to book a free coaching call click on this link to schedule a time:
https://calendly.com/stephaniewheeldonbetrayaltraumacoaching/privateclient
Get your free "Creating and Clarifying Boundaries" PDF here!
https://www.erinandersonthetraumacoach.com/ClarifyandCreateBoundaries
Don't forget! You can come join us at:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theothersideofthestruggle
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello there, welcome to this video.
Guess what Entrepreneursexperience betrayal trauma in a
big way.
So I have betrayal trauma coachAaron Anderson here with me
today to give you some prettyamazing tips.
I'm so excited.
They're so good.
It's like, oh my gosh, I neverthought of that before, so
(00:21):
powerful.
So if you think you'reexperiencing imposter syndrome,
just hold on to your hat,because this is going to take
the top off of all of that andhelp you unpack it in ways that
you've never thought of before.
So welcome, erin, I'm so gladyou're here.
What do you have for us today?
Do you want to introduceyourself a little bit and just
(00:42):
where you're coming from?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Yeah, thank you, bronwyn.
I appreciate being on andchatting with you and everyone
else.
So a little bit about me.
You know I'm a betrayal traumacoach and the reason being is
simply because you know I'vedefinitely experienced a lot of
betrayal trauma in my life andyou know who hasn't Right.
But one of the things that makesmy story so incredibly powerful
(01:07):
is the simple fact that, um, itgot between three options.
For me, actually, it wasdivorce, my husband leave my
family behind and never talk tothem again.
Right, and I'm talking like myextended family too, like my mom
, my dad, grandma, grandpa, likeeverybody.
(01:28):
Right, it was, um, stay in therelationships the way they were
and stay in the pain or take myown life right.
So I had a lot of pain that wascausing me to think these
things and I didn't see any wayout of it until you know god oh,
(01:53):
he's so good was like.
You know, there's a better way,there's another option here,
and that was to heal.
You know a lot of people thinkthat they have to wait until
people stop treating them thatway or they stop, they have to
cut off all relationships withthese toxic people before they
(02:14):
can finally heal.
And that's not true, you know,and it wasn't until I started
organizing the relationship Ihad with myself, god's way, that
I started organizing therelationship I had with myself,
god's way, that I started toheal.
And because I started to heal,I also started to change from
the inside out.
And that does affect yourrelationships.
(02:38):
And when I realized that and Ididn't have like therapy doing
that, I didn't like it was all ahundred percent God that took
me out of that dark, dark spaceThen he's like okay, now that
you're healed, go teach it.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I was like me.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Are you sure Like I'm this podunk kid from Emory
County, right Like I grew up inEmory County?
Have you seen Emory County?
Like nothing grows there.
Like are you sure, and that was.
(03:23):
That's been a journey of 11years and it's been amazing to
see, to see the, thetransformations and the changes
that happen.
When you know I help peopleheal their trauma, god's way.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yeah, so you have experienced being an
entrepreneur Mm-hmm, anentrepreneur and you've
experienced the I thinkintensified types of betrayal
that can happen when you fullyengage in this.
(03:56):
You know, I'm a coach now andI'm an entrepreneur and we're
taking this to the masses and Ihave something important to say.
And what have you discovered asa result of that experience?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well, I'll tell you something.
After I healed from thebetrayal trauma of my family,
right, and I started enteringinto, like, the entrepreneur
space, I realized I wasn'tmoving forward as fast as I
would like to, I wasn't standingout as much as I would like to,
(04:39):
I wasn't able to bring in thelike generating the income I
wanted, and it actually camedown to the fear of being
betrayed again.
And this is not something Ithink people, especially in the
entrepreneur space, like they'rethinking about, like creating
and generating and receiving andgiving, and like all these
(05:01):
things.
They're not thinking the wordsI'm afraid of being betrayed,
right, that's.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
That's not in their language at all yeah, they think
they have just impostersyndrome.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Totally.
They think like impostersyndrome, but I guarantee, like
the, the thoughts that arecoming to their mind is like
what if my audience doesn't likeit, right?
Or what if they say somethingmean?
Like it, right?
Or what if they say somethingmean?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
oh yeah, what if they say share it?
Oh, say something mean, right.
Or like make mean videos out ofit, right?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
right or like or like ?
What if my great aunt sallysees this and she realizes I'm
going to be an influencer, anentrepreneur like or or like?
Um?
Another big fear that I hear alot is you know, I'm not
certified.
Right, I have no certifications.
(05:58):
I, I don't have a therapydecree, I don't, I'm not
licensed, I'm not, I'm not, I'mnot, I'm not.
And so they don't think theycan get out in there and do this
.
Guess what guys?
I have zero certifications.
I've been close, I've comeclose to going out and getting
certified Like I.
Tara.
She was shocked when I told herI don't have any certifications
(06:20):
.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Just so you know what we're talking about.
Tara is my business partner andshe was our life coach
certification program and shetakes people through up to two
years.
We work with people for up totwo years to help them get
really really, really good atnot messing people up and
actually being really excellentat yes life coaching.
Right, but there's also thispart of this where God certifies
(06:44):
you.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yes, and that's where I'm at.
If I'm going to say if I'vebeen certified by anybody, it's
him.
And I've come close to actuallygoing in and getting
certifications from differentplaces and he's always pulled me
back.
He's like no, I want you all tomyself, right, and which has
been really funny.
So I don't have anycertifications whatsoever.
(07:05):
But, yeah, when I have myclients come to me, I make
massive, massive shifts andmassive, massive changes.
And the thing is is if I can dothat without, like,
certifications and all of theseother things happening, and I'm
not saying like, don't go outand get certified by Bronwyn or
Tara or you know, come chat withme, I've got a certification
promise.
Yes, there is, there is thingshappening.
(07:26):
And I'm not saying like, don'tgo out and get certified by
Bronwyn or Tara or, you know,come chat with me, I've got a
certification promise.
Yes, there is, there is there,absolutely is.
But I don't want you guys tothink that that's something you
have to do, because the truth ofthe matter is, if those are
things that you guys are saying,that is a fear of being
betrayed, a major fear of beingbetrayed, a major fear of being
(07:47):
betrayed.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah, I also want to insert here too your reason for
going and getting acertification is to level up
your skills, to sharpen yourtools, not to say, okay, now I'm
worthy of helping somebody withtheir thing.
So yeah, this is so important.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yes, and that's like you hit the nail right on the
head, right.
Go level up your skills, yes,but worthiness, like a
certification, isn't going tohave worthiness, nope, you're
already worthy.
Already, already, alreadyworthy Already.
And once you realize that, like, oh my gosh, right, and that is
(08:31):
the basis for your success,right, there is what you believe
about your own personalworthiness.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, yeah, that's it , that's everything Right.
That's it, that's everythingright.
That kind of diffuses the fearonce you're like wait, I am like
.
Nothing can take away myworthiness, nothing.
I'm a child, god, I'm alwaysworthy to experience this life
in the best way and the mostperfect way for me.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes, yes, so I got to tell you, okay, I had a
conversation with a client thismorning who happens to be an
entrepreneur.
She owns a seven figurebusiness, right, and, but her
self-worthiness is so in herface, right, like it's.
(09:21):
It's just something that shestruggles, like she.
She knows that she's listeningto lies and she's believing the
lies, but she can't, shecouldn't seem to convince
herself of anything but the lie,right?
So if that's the case, onething I want to really also
share with you guys if you'rereally struggling with that fear
of betrayal and wondering ifyou're worthy, with that fear of
(09:47):
betrayal and that wondering ifyou're worthy, worthiness also
means that you understand a verydeep truth about yourself.
Ok, truth always has a physicalcomponent to it.
Every single time you know, forexample, truth is going to feel
(10:09):
very different in your, in yourbody, than what a lie will.
A lie always feels like youjust ate an anvil hole and it's
sitting in your stomach, right,but truth makes you buzz, it
makes you vibrate, it makes yougo, right, it's a whole
different thing.
So truth always has a physicalcomponent to it, right, you can
(10:32):
sit there and say, like, this isa water bottle.
That is true.
That is a physical component,and if you understand God and
you know God and you love God,that is one of your physical
components.
Because he brought, he puts youhere on this earth for a
mission and a purpose.
That's a physical component oftruth, right?
(10:55):
So I want you to think aboutwhat is actually true and what
you know is true, and then takeinto consideration what you're
believing, follow it back toyour core, follow it back to
your foundational truths, and ifit doesn't match up, it has to
(11:17):
be a lie.
And I'll tell you guys likethis is something that was like
a major aha for her.
As I said, think about.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
God saying those exact words to you.
Oh, I have another one that youmight love.
My friend just reached out tome a couple of days ago and
she's like I just watched thistraining and it was like say
everything that you say with.
And it was like say everythingthat you say with, and that's
(11:51):
just how I like it.
On the end Ooh.
So if you start having a hard,time right.
Right, right, I well, I want tocome up with a positive one.
Money falls at my feet, andthat's just how I like it.
Right, right, positive one.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Money falls at my feet and that's just how I like
it right.
Right, I attract clientseffortlessly and easily and I
make massive shifts for them,and this is how I like it right.
That's truth.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Like that is total truth, and once we like go ahead
, go ahead the audience reallyquick, say it.
What's the like, what's thatnumber one self doubt statement
you keep making?
Say it and then put on the end,and that's just how I like it.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
You're right and that's just how I like it, right
.
And then, if you want to ampthat up, one more, like don't
talk about, like what youdeserve, but talk about, and
that's how God thinks of me.
Oh yeah Right, that's going toturn it on its head quick.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You will move through it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
You will change your language.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yes.
And if that doesn't sound good,here's how you shift it.
Okay, truth and lies, they'reexact opposites.
So if you know that's a lie, itfeels like a lie.
What is the exact opposite ofthat statement?
Exact opposite when you say it,the actual truth.
(13:18):
Notice how it vibrates in yourbody.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, you'll feel it.
Even if you can't believe ityet, then go ahead and baby step
yourself there.
But yeah, like that you justknow where you're going right.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
If you can't believe it, let's have a conversation.
I'll get you.
I'll convince you.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
If you want your six figures.
Yes, yeah, so you have a coupleof more tips for us.
What's?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
the next one.
So number two is check out yourspace, right.
Betrayal trauma is legitimatelydisorganization and it will
show up in your physical spaceas chaos and clutter.
Ok, now again you guys,betrayal Trauma Coach here of 11
(14:13):
years, I just barely wentthrough and did my whole house
overhaul, right, because therewere certain things that I
wanted that weren't quite comingto me yet, and one of the
things I realized is I wassaying I don't have time a lot,
right, and I'm like, okay, sowhere's my time leak?
Right, it was totally my home.
I thought, oh, my poor kids,guys, like I'm totally not
(14:37):
perfect, but I thought it was mysix children, okay, that were
constantly making a big mess,and it wasn't, it was the fact
that I actually had stuff forthem to make a mess with.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
So we're talking about thinking in a more
minimalist kind of way.
So that things can be put awayso that things can be organized
Like what things do you not needto hold on to?
This is so symbolic.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
It is.
What things do you?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
actually not need to hold on to.
This is so symbolic it is.
What things do you actually notneed to hold on to?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
It is Because you know what.
Let me tell you something as Istarted de-junking and I started
getting rid of stuff and Istarted cleaning and I started
like making the space exactlywhat I wanted, right, I actually
noticed I thought I'd getreally, really excited, but
actually it was reallyinteresting.
I noticed I felt empty and Iwas like, huh, well, that's kind
(15:31):
of curious.
Yes, right, like there was thatempty space and I was like,
well, what is that about?
And as I got noticing, Irealized that my clutter was
actually a physicalrepresentation of me feeling
like I needed to have chaos inorder to be seen oh, wow now
(15:58):
let's talk about betrayal traumathere.
Right, once I acknowledged thatand I was like no, no, no, no,
no, no, we don't need that, wedon't need the clutter, we don't
need the chaos to be seen.
You know this, right, theorganization is actually a
symbol of you being able toactually balance your time
(16:18):
between your business and yourfamily and not worry about all
these other extra things.
And not worry about all theseother extra things.
Right, as I started doing myself-talk and realizing, oh, you
know what, Actually I'mcreating what I'm really wanting
.
I'm creating what I'm excitedabout.
All of a sudden, that left.
I started purging not only justmy home but also other beliefs
(16:40):
that I had that were attached tothe trauma and to that story
and all those things, right, andall of a sudden, now I'm
excited again about, like,keeping my home organized,
keeping it clean, keepingexactly the way I want to do it
and making things easy.
(17:01):
Now, this is the key here.
Okay, when I talk aboutorganizing your home, you want
what you want to come to youeasily and effortlessly.
If it's not, there's some chaosin front of it, there's some
clutter in front of it, whetherit be in your physical space or
(17:24):
in your mind.
Most likely it's both.
There's some clutter in frontof it, whether it be in your
physical space or in your mindMost likely it's both.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Right Things will come to you effortlessly and
easily after you're going tohave to take some time and get
serious with that your fear ofwhat people are going to say
(18:08):
right, and how people are goingto use what you say um, maybe
against you.
That's a big fear.
How does that create this kindof clutter in your space?
Just the fear of it.
How does it do that?
What do you think it looks likefor most people?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
You know, I think it really comes down to a time leak
.
You know, as I, as I, I don'thave time, I don't have energy.
You know?
Um, another one I hear a lot isI'm working on my business all
the time and it's just notworking.
And, as you know, they startlike, yeah, right, right, but
(18:52):
they think they're working whenthey're actually just facebook
scrolling right and they'reactually not putting that time
and effort in.
So they're avoiding the tasksthat they know they need to do.
And I'm sorry, guys, you'regoing to hear my kids in the
background.
They're so real I am, it is, itis what it is.
(19:13):
I work in a Harry Potter closet.
I'm not even joking.
My office is underneath mystairs.
I can touch each wall, so, andmy kids are behind that door,
right.
So it's totally real.
But it does come down to a timeleak, because you will avoid
(19:34):
the tasks that need to be doneand make all these excuses and
convince yourself that theseexcuses are true and I'm too
busy, or I can't, I can't, Ican't, I can't, I can't.
You know an example of this?
Okay, I know I've.
(19:55):
I've had a couple of clientscome to me and they're like I
really need help with my trauma,right, and one of the things
and they're they want to likebuild a business, they want to
help coach, they want to dothese things right, but one of
the things that is stopping themfrom standing out right is this
trauma.
(20:16):
Now, if you look at their lookbehind them, their spaces are
very, very disorganized, whichis really interesting.
I've always noticed that.
Okay, so their, their officespace is very disorganized.
One thing I hear consistentlyfrom these people is I don't
(20:39):
have time because this person isshowing up negative and
negatively in my life and it'simpacting me and it won't let me
Mm-hmm, it won't let me, myhusband won't let me, my kids
won't let me and I'm just tootired to deal with their stuff.
Right, but this is what I'msaying.
(21:02):
This actually kind of gets us alittle bit into that third
piece that I was going to say.
This is where we get to makesome decisions and those
decisions are going to equalsome boundaries.
So when somebody is sittingthere saying like they can't do
something because they're afraidof how this person is going to
act or how they're going to showup in their life and so they
(21:23):
have to walk on eggshells aroundpeople, right, yeah, the one I
hear so often from really newpeople.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
But they I call new people, people that are still
making $0, but usually they'vebeen at it for like well at it
Okay For like five years and andthey're like I'm like like you
need to be posting like this andthey're like I'm so afraid I'm
gonna annoy people I'm likethey're afraid that people are
(21:53):
gonna come at them right andthey're afraid of that betraying
them.
Abandonment is a right way ofbeing betrayed, right?
Yeah, I mean, and it's real.
So what do you say about this?
It's going to happen.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
You can't control people.
You're just never going to beable to.
It's going to happen.
The people that you think youcan trust the most I've had this
happen to me in business, mybusiness, best friends,
seriously the people that Ithought I could count on the
most, the people that everybodyelse like wouldn't ever believe
would would be that way towardme, are the ones that turned on
(22:27):
me when I stood in my integrity.
I stood in my power and I didn'tlike waffle and as soon as I
wasn't doing it the way theywanted me to, they, they totally
bad mouth me behind my back.
Right, there's no loyalty right, that feels so bad.
It yeah so, and I'm not theonly one who's experienced it
(22:51):
it's kind of a normal thing inbusiness, because people go in
and out of feeling competitiveand being scared that there's
competition and if you're doingwell, then they must not be here
.
If the spotlight's on you toomuch, it's not on them, or
whatever.
Right, then I mean, what do yousay to people who are
experiencing something like that?
Speaker 2 (23:11):
well, number one.
Uh, you know, I've been workingin the betrayal trauma field,
like I said, for 11 years.
Okay, and I will say, without adoubt, the people that I have
seen have the most betrayaltrauma are entrepreneurs for
sure right, yeah, yeah,absolutely.
(23:32):
And they don't realize it.
They really don't realize itbecause it's just not their
mindset, but it is absolutelythe truth.
Again, they're afraid of beingbetrayed by their audience.
They're afraid of beingbetrayed by their colleagues.
They're afraid of beingbetrayed by their family, their
friends, like their loved ones.
They're afraid of beingbetrayed.
(23:53):
Unfortunately, that's just anumber in the story.
That's something that you'regoing to have to deal with,
because here's the deal Ifyou're stepping into the
entrepreneur space, that alsomeans you're stepping into
lasting, massive growth, right,if you want to grow your
business and if you want to growyour income and if you want to
(24:13):
grow those dollars, that meansyou're going to have to up-level
, you're going to have to change, you're going to have to grow,
and that means thatrelationships are going to have
to do one of two things they'regoing to have to up, level and
grow with you.
So, when you get uncomfortable,they have to get uncomfortable
or they snap and leave you.
(24:35):
So if you think about it likethis, you've seen, like, you
know, like a cup and it's gotlike strings attached to it, and
then there's like likesomething on the end of the
string.
Right, I want you guys want youto imagine like you, is this
cup right?
This is you and you've got astring attached to every single
(24:55):
one of your relationships.
What happens when you pick thatcup up?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
it pulls on them it pulls on them.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
What if happens?
If, right, and if what happensif you move the cup?
Same thing, right, it doesn'tmatter, right?
Sometimes?
Now, what happens if you takeone of those relationships or
one of the things that's at theend of the string and you anchor
it to something like a rock orcement or something really,
(25:23):
really heavy?
Right, it's going gonna snapthe string off of the cup, right
?
yeah, and I think we need toaccept it yes it just has to be
okay yes and you can accept it,because guess what?
That's opening up space for anew relationship that actually
(25:45):
will move with you on the samefrequency with you.
Yes, it's magic.
Yes, because you take a look atyou and me too.
Like you, offer a certificationprogram, I offer a
certification program, too right, with my business coach and my
uh partner, goshla chadwick.
But yet here we are, we'recollaborating we're different,
(26:06):
we do different things.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
There's no competition.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It doesn't no yeah, no, and we totally love each
other, right?
We're able to be real with eachother, we're able to help each
other out still, and we're ableto be in each other's with
respect and love for each other.
When you allow for the loss,you also allow for the loss.
You also allow for the gain,and this is what a lot of
(26:35):
entrepreneurs aren'tunderstanding, especially when
they're talking about I'm notgetting enough money coming in,
I'm not creating enough, I'm notdoing enough, I'm not bringing
in what I want.
Right?
You have to allow for loss inorder to allow for gain.
It has to happen, right?
(26:58):
This is why organizing yourspace works.
You have to allow for loss inorder to allow for gain.
This is why you know facing thefear and actually getting in
and doing the work works.
You have to allow for the lossin order to allow for the gain
(27:19):
yeah, I want to bring this backto our family relationships.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
And then I'd love to hear your gold, your, your
thread of gold analogy thateverybody is, you know everybody
is.
My life has been such that whenI had my lower frequency
friends, the ones that abandonedme or you know, they didn't
just abandon me, they bad, theyback bit me you know, as if I
(27:47):
had done something wrong becauseI was making them uncomfortable
, because I was growing and Iwasn't going backwards.
And that's been happening for Idon't know how many years of
this journey, seven years of myentrepreneurial journey.
(28:09):
I've run into that because whenI finally just stepped in and
just ran forward, some peopleare like wait, wait, wait, I
can't do that with you and soI'm bad, so I need to have a
meltdown and think you're badRight, it's their story.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
You're just making them face their story and they
don't like it, right?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yeah, but I have noticed that it was those very
people that were sowing seeds ofdiscontent in my marriage and
what they would say to me wouldmake my marriage harder and
because of my mindset around it.
Right, when I finally cut tieswith everybody that you know, I
(28:49):
don't even know if I havesomebody in my life.
Still that's like that anymore.
I cut ties, my marriageimproved Like massively.
I'm like, oh wow, because Ifeel way more confident and my
husband likes that Magic.
Go figure, I'm stepping oneggshells Right.
(29:10):
So if you're experiencingsomething like that, you know,
consider.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Yeah, totally, totally.
Well, you know, I want to saysomething to this.
Okay, because I love patterningmy life and helping my clients
pattern their lives after thatof the savior and god, right,
because that's, that's likeultimately, the ultimate goal.
Right, if god will give desiresto the point that he allows a
(29:42):
third of the host of heaven toleave, okay, I'm going to say
that again, he allows them toleave.
He didn't beg him to stay, hedidn't kick him out.
Actually, they chose to leave.
We were all coming here anyway.
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, and hedoes allow for people's desires
(30:03):
, and then he also allows theuniverse to come in and give
consequences.
We can do the same thing.
Okay, I have somebody dear to me, very dear to me, somebody I
love almost as much as I love myown life, who I had to do this
(30:32):
with, okay, and still have to dothis with, because they were
showing up in a very, very toxicway, very toxic way, had
beliefs about absolutely likewhere did you get that?
Like, how did you connect that?
What right?
Um was using incrediblyhorrible language to me, and
(30:58):
anytime I would try to be honestwith them and be like hey, you
know what?
This is not okay.
You can't do this, you can'tspeak to me this way.
It's not okay, and I would setboundaries with them.
They chose out of therelationship, they chose to not
speak to me, they chose to nevertalk to me again, and this is
(31:21):
an irreplaceable relationship.
Actually, because I'mrespectful Of his desire and
because I love him Beyondmeasure, I lovingly and
respectfully let him go.
(31:42):
And the thing is, guys, yeah, ithurt and it still hurts to this
day, right, but my joys are somuch bigger than my pain.
Let me say that Because Irealized this one thing I still
love this person deeply.
That brings me joy.
(32:04):
I'm proud of myself forstanding in my truth.
That brings me joy.
I'm proud of myself for gettingin and creating something
amazing.
That brings me joy.
And so I'm constantly alsoputting daily drops of joy in my
emotional bank account.
And so when I have majorwithdrawals like this and
(32:29):
sometimes it's going to be amonthly withdrawal, okay, a
monthly bill, let's just thinkof it that way, no-transcript,
(33:03):
and I'll tell you somethingyou'll know.
Like I gotta tell you.
You know you're going to dosomething right when somebody
comes to you and attacks you.
I'm not even joking.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
I used to hate saying well, that's the measure of my
success, you know, but there issomething to be said for it.
It like examine yourself, yeah,but don't make the mistake I
did and take it too far and sayyou know, if they're, if they're
feeling like that, it must be areflection of how I'm being.
It's not true not true, right?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
no, no, as a matter of fact.
What if you thought about itthis way?
The adversary wants to stop youfrom fulfilling your mission
and purpose.
Therefore, he's gonna throw themobs at you.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
He will believe what they're saying yes they believe
it, and so you just gotta lovethem and just be like okay yes,
I'm not on my inner circleanymore no you get to go.
I'll hug you if I see you.
I love you, yeah, but you'renot my, my people and it's okay.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, it's okay.
I want my people.
It is tough, it is tough, butif you allow someone to silence
you because they don't agreewith you, then you stop being
(34:25):
the messenger you were meant tobe.
It happens.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
What's this golden, beautiful thread?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Right, I want to say one more thing.
Okay, you get to choose what tobelieve.
You can choose what they say oryou can choose the truth.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
And you know yourself , you know yourself.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
You do?
Yep, you do.
Okay.
So the vein of gold?
Okay, yes, and this is juicy,yummy stuff.
Okay, and I will say that thisvein of gold puts all of these
fears on its ear and literallyputs them away, because here's
(35:07):
the deal.
The vein of gold is you wereput here for a mission and a
purpose.
God knows your mission andpurpose intimately, probably
better than you do.
He's not going to send you herewith a mission and a purpose
(35:28):
that is very, very, verydetailed and very, very, very
important, without everythingyou need to fulfill it.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Okay, wow, that's so real yes, keep going.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Okay, he's gonna send you here with gifts, okay, so
what I'm talking about arespiritual gifts.
Okay, personally, my intuitionis like out of this world, and I
say that because I and I I knowit probably sounds a little, a
little like, oh okay, erin,let's just brag, but it's true,
(36:08):
it's true like my intuition iscrazy powerful.
The second thing is actually,since I've learned to turn to
God and let him be my, myclarifier, my mentor and my um
authenticator I hear him clearly, right, that's another one of
(36:30):
my gifts.
I hear him so clearly, right, Ibeing able to shift energy.
This is another one of my gifts.
He sent to me with these things, plus many, many more gifts,
for a reason.
Ok, I have a couple of clientswho are building their
businesses.
(36:50):
One of them sees auras.
Another one of them canactually shift energy with her
voice, right, amazing, amazingthings.
Ok, we were sent here withgifts.
We were also sent here withtalents.
Ok, I have a talent forspeaking.
(37:11):
I have a talent for telling thetruth.
I have a talent for recognizingthe truth.
Right, I have a talent fortelling the truth.
I have a talent for recognizingthe truth.
Right, I have a talent fordrawing.
I have a talent for singing.
I have a lot of these talents.
I also have a talent forwriting right.
Talents, gifts and talents.
(37:34):
These will tell you amazing,amazing things about yourself
and what you're meant to do here.
But the third piece and guys, Iam buzzing with all kinds of
excited, yummy energy right nowthe third piece to your mission
and your purpose is your traumas.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
The message is in the mess.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yes.
Had I not experienced betrayalat the hands of some of the
people I love the most, some ofthe people I want to serve more
than anything, some of thepeople I want To live just Crazy
, amazing lives, had I notexperienced this type of
(38:23):
betrayal, had I not experiencedthe desire to die, had I not
experienced all this awful stuff, I would not have the message I
have today.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Right, I wouldn't either-hmm.
Would any of us know?
Speaker 2 (38:47):
right, right, no, but it you're see.
Here's the thing.
This is what I love, okay I?
I think it's amazing, like theperson that came up with the
human design program, like Holycow.
That person was very inspired.
That's pretty cool stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
I love it too, we're about to do an interview of me
reading errands where the sunshines on you, awesomeness.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
So I'm excited for this?
Yes, very excited, um, but andI, oh, oh, oh and I was talking,
I was also going to talk about,like, carol tuttle, right, I
love her for energy types right,I've got all four in my family.
It makes things very yeah, itmakes things interesting, let me
(39:31):
tell you, especially when youhave a one and a three right
next to each other, it's like aholy tornado every single day.
But but, right, here's the deal.
We love this stuff because wewant to meet ourselves.
That's why we love it.
(39:55):
But let me tell you, if you wantto meet yourself, it is with
understanding your gifts andyour talents and realizing that
your gifts and your talents arewhat make you a chip off the old
block, and I'm talking about,they are the things that make
you a child of god, because hehas those exact same gifts and
talents.
They connect you directly tohim, but so does your traumas,
(40:22):
and I've said it many times, hadI not experienced what I
experienced, I'd have no need toconnect to him the way I did
yeah and making I want to saythis for anybody who thinks,
because I I know some of myfollowers and it's going to be
in the comments.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
I'm going to head it off right now.
I'm not saying you need to stayin trauma, no, no, no, not
saying that at all.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
I'm saying watch your trauma, be curious about it,
observe it, because there's amessage in it there's a heal
healing yes, yes, you know, themost amazing financial coaches I
know are the ones that havegone from absolute almost
(41:11):
bankruptcy, possibly evenbankruptcy, to multi-million
dollars.
That's a trauma thread, that'sa thread of gold, right?
Uh, my business coach and youeven, right, you know, yeah,
you've gone through thefinancial, you've gone through
what works in business, right,this is one of the reasons why
(41:34):
people come to you it's becausethat's your thread of gold,
right, I know the things.
Yeah, the most amazing weightloss coaches, they're the ones
that have shed like lots ofpoundage Right and made major
(41:58):
shifts, but they also know whatit's like to be very, very
unhealthy.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Right, there's your thread of gold, that's all.
It's all trauma.
This is why I always tellpeople your ideal client is the
past version of you.
That is why that is why, Ifyou're saying stuff like but I
don't want to deal with peoplewho have that, I will tell you
right now you're still in yourstuff.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Do your healing.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Yes, yes, and if you're really, really ready,
like I said, you know, let'shave a chat, because that's what
we're here to do.
Is we're here to also help youignite your mission and your
purpose, right?
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Yeah, let's tell people how they can get a little
juicy goodness from you.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
So, yes, so let me tell you something, and this
isn't something I was going tohit on it a little bit more but
I didn't get the chance becauseyou know I'm all lit up and
everything like that and goingsomewhere else.
But I love to also teach peopleabout their boundaries, right.
Love to also teach people abouttheir boundaries right, because
your boundaries arelegitimately the organization of
(43:02):
your energy.
Okay, I like that yes, yeah,that is the organization of your
energy, that is theorganization of your truth and
that is the organization of youas a person.
Okay, so when you have reallyreally solid, solid boundaries
and you're not ashamed of yourboundaries, okay, you can
(43:28):
literally blow up this thread ofgold that we've been talking
about into six or seven figures.
Let Let me tell you, guys, thereason why Bronwyn and Tara are
both so amazing in theirbusinesses is because they're
highly boundaried, right?
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Tara is especially awesome at boundaries.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
So much.
Yes, I'm like you're going tobe proud of me.
Good job, right.
Yes, so it's like good job, allright yes, I love tara.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
She's amazing, she's amazing.
So, but that's the thing,people who are very, very
boundaried are the ones that arebringing in those six and seven
figures right.
Another really good one um, Ilove lark dingalley, right.
Here's another person favorite.
I love lark.
She's very boundaried and shebrings in six or seven figures
(44:27):
oh right multi-millionaire.
Oh yeah, right, right.
So, okay, multi-seven.
Okay, my business coach right,she brings in seven figures.
She's highly, she's highlyboundaried.
All of the people I know thatare bringing in six or seven
figures are highly, highlyboundaried because they have
organized themselves.
(44:48):
So what I have for you is aclarifying and creating your
boundaries process in pdf.
This was created as I wassitting back and thinking to
myself, like, what was my ownboundary creation process?
Right, what were the questionsI was asking myself, what was I
doing?
And, honestly, what do I stilldo?
(45:09):
Like, if I want to create somesort of a goal and I want some
reality from this goal, thenthat means that there's also a
boundary process that happens inthe interim right.
Once we understand that ourrealities, our visions, those
(45:30):
things that we want actuallysorry guys, I'm sorry we have-
our boundaries on here.
We're listening, we do Thank,thank you.
I love my kids, but they it is.
It's so real.
I, we do.
But this is where you startcreating those six and seven
(45:52):
figures is actually in yourboundaries, and once you start
creating boundaries with yourrelationships, boundaries within
yourself, this is where youstart opening the doors to
actually creating amazing,amazing things for yourself and
for everyone else.
So that is completely free.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
My boundary pdf nice, okay, so say boundaries, please
in in the comments and Aaronwill reach out to you and get
you that link.
Thank you for being here.
You're welcome.
This has been so juicy.
Now I have something for youtoo.
(46:30):
If you don't already have this.
I have a streamline your salesprocess checklist that includes
now I just gave a facelift, soif you have had this before, you
can go get it again, and it's alittle different.
It includes your four offersthat you need to have in place
in the checklist to be ready toactually market, and in there
(46:53):
I'm talking about getting onstage.
But this goes to any stage.
It goes to a stage like thisone right here, any stage.
If you don't have your stuffready, then you don't show up as
confidently.
This is so important.
So I made you a little checklist.
I gave you exactly what to do.
Just in a nutshell.
You can go do it if you'resmart.
Lark Dean Galley she ravesabout it.
(47:14):
She got this.
Then she just went and did it.
Love it, yes, and there's alsowhat I did to change.
It was I gave you instructionsfor how to go find out the human
design, the part where the sunshines on you.
How are you designed for thesun to shine on you?
How are you designed to shinein this life?
And for me, totally on point, Ididn't.
(47:36):
I'm like I knew that about me,but it's just so fun to see that
Right.
So again, we're going to be ohyeah, say I want six figures in
the comments and I will send youthat checklist so you can go
and work on those things foryourself.
But I'm about to do we're aboutto end this interview and start
another one.
I'm about to do.
(47:57):
We're about to end thisinterview and start another one.
I'm going to tell Erin her partof her, her human design, where
the sun is designed to shine onher.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Make sure you watch my feed so that you see that
I'll be tagged in that one.
So that, yeah, so you can watchthat one too.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
All right Erin.
Thank you for coming namasteand thanks everybody for loving
on my kids too, right they'revery.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
They sound like they're having a lot of fun oh
yeah and like they're superactive, and I hear that three in
there I'm sure that's who I washearing yeah, I have two threes
.
All right, we'll see you in thenext video.
Thanks for watching.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
We'll see you thanks, bye guys.
Hello there, welcome to this video.
Guess what Entrepreneursexperience betrayal trauma in a
big way.
So I have betrayal trauma coachAaron Anderson here with me
today to give you some prettyamazing tips.
I'm so excited.
They're so good.
It's like, oh my gosh, I neverthought of that before, so
(00:21):
powerful.
So if you think you'reexperiencing imposter syndrome,
just hold on to your hat,because this is going to take
the top off of all of that andhelp you unpack it in ways that
you've never thought of before.
So welcome, erin, I'm so gladyou're here.
What do you have for us today?
Do you want to introduceyourself a little bit and just
(00:42):
where you're coming from?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Yeah, thank you, bronwyn.
I appreciate being on andchatting with you and everyone
else.
So a little bit about me.
You know I'm a betrayal traumacoach and the reason being is
simply because you know I'vedefinitely experienced a lot of
betrayal trauma in my life andyou know who hasn't Right.
But one of the things that makesmy story so incredibly powerful
(01:07):
is the simple fact that, um, itgot between three options.
For me, actually, it wasdivorce, my husband leave my
family behind and never talk tothem again.
Right, and I'm talking like myextended family too, like my mom
, my dad, grandma, grandpa, likeeverybody.
(01:28):
Right, it was, um, stay in therelationships the way they were
and stay in the pain or take myown life right.
So I had a lot of pain that wascausing me to think these
things and I didn't see any wayout of it until you know god oh,
(01:53):
he's so good was like.
You know, there's a better way,there's another option here,
and that was to heal.
You know a lot of people thinkthat they have to wait until
people stop treating them thatway or they stop, they have to
cut off all relationships withthese toxic people before they
(02:14):
can finally heal.
And that's not true, you know,and it wasn't until I started
organizing the relationship Ihad with myself, god's way, that
I started organizing therelationship I had with myself,
god's way, that I started toheal.
And because I started to heal,I also started to change from
the inside out.
And that does affect yourrelationships.
(02:38):
And when I realized that and Ididn't have like therapy doing
that, I didn't like it was all ahundred percent God that took
me out of that dark, dark spaceThen he's like okay, now that
you're healed, go teach it.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I was like me.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Are you sure Like I'm this podunk kid from Emory
County, right Like I grew up inEmory County?
Have you seen Emory County?
Like nothing grows there.
Like are you sure, and that was.
(03:23):
That's been a journey of 11years and it's been amazing to
see, to see the, thetransformations and the changes
that happen.
When you know I help peopleheal their trauma, god's way.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yeah, so you have experienced being an
entrepreneur Mm-hmm, anentrepreneur and you've
experienced the I thinkintensified types of betrayal
that can happen when you fullyengage in this.
(03:56):
You know, I'm a coach now andI'm an entrepreneur and we're
taking this to the masses and Ihave something important to say.
And what have you discovered asa result of that experience?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well, I'll tell you something.
After I healed from thebetrayal trauma of my family,
right, and I started enteringinto, like, the entrepreneur
space, I realized I wasn'tmoving forward as fast as I
would like to, I wasn't standingout as much as I would like to,
(04:39):
I wasn't able to bring in thelike generating the income I
wanted, and it actually camedown to the fear of being
betrayed again.
And this is not something Ithink people, especially in the
entrepreneur space, like they'rethinking about, like creating
and generating and receiving andgiving, and like all these
(05:01):
things.
They're not thinking the wordsI'm afraid of being betrayed,
right, that's.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
That's not in their language at all yeah, they think
they have just impostersyndrome.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Totally.
They think like impostersyndrome, but I guarantee, like
the, the thoughts that arecoming to their mind is like
what if my audience doesn't likeit, right?
Or what if they say somethingmean?
Like it, right?
Or what if they say somethingmean?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
oh yeah, what if they say share it?
Oh, say something mean, right.
Or like make mean videos out ofit, right?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
right or like or like ?
What if my great aunt sallysees this and she realizes I'm
going to be an influencer, anentrepreneur like or or like?
Um?
Another big fear that I hear alot is you know, I'm not
certified.
Right, I have no certifications.
(05:58):
I, I don't have a therapydecree, I don't, I'm not
licensed, I'm not, I'm not, I'mnot, I'm not.
And so they don't think theycan get out in there and do this
.
Guess what guys?
I have zero certifications.
I've been close, I've comeclose to going out and getting
certified Like I.
Tara.
She was shocked when I told herI don't have any certifications
(06:20):
.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Just so you know what we're talking about.
Tara is my business partner andshe was our life coach
certification program and shetakes people through up to two
years.
We work with people for up totwo years to help them get
really really, really good atnot messing people up and
actually being really excellentat yes life coaching.
Right, but there's also thispart of this where God certifies
(06:44):
you.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yes, and that's where I'm at.
If I'm going to say if I'vebeen certified by anybody, it's
him.
And I've come close to actuallygoing in and getting
certifications from differentplaces and he's always pulled me
back.
He's like no, I want you all tomyself, right, and which has
been really funny.
So I don't have anycertifications whatsoever.
(07:05):
But, yeah, when I have myclients come to me, I make
massive, massive shifts andmassive, massive changes.
And the thing is is if I can dothat without, like,
certifications and all of theseother things happening, and I'm
not saying like, don't go outand get certified by Bronwyn or
Tara or you know, come chat withme, I've got a certification
promise.
Yes, there is, there is thingshappening.
(07:26):
And I'm not saying like, don'tgo out and get certified by
Bronwyn or Tara or, you know,come chat with me, I've got a
certification promise.
Yes, there is, there is there,absolutely is.
But I don't want you guys tothink that that's something you
have to do, because the truth ofthe matter is, if those are
things that you guys are saying,that is a fear of being
betrayed, a major fear of beingbetrayed, a major fear of being
(07:47):
betrayed.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah, I also want to insert here too your reason for
going and getting acertification is to level up
your skills, to sharpen yourtools, not to say, okay, now I'm
worthy of helping somebody withtheir thing.
So yeah, this is so important.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yes, and that's like you hit the nail right on the
head, right.
Go level up your skills, yes,but worthiness, like a
certification, isn't going tohave worthiness, nope, you're
already worthy.
Already, already, alreadyworthy Already.
And once you realize that, like, oh my gosh, right, and that is
(08:31):
the basis for your success,right, there is what you believe
about your own personalworthiness.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, yeah, that's it , that's everything Right.
That's it, that's everythingright.
That kind of diffuses the fearonce you're like wait, I am like
.
Nothing can take away myworthiness, nothing.
I'm a child, god, I'm alwaysworthy to experience this life
in the best way and the mostperfect way for me.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes, yes, so I got to tell you, okay, I had a
conversation with a client thismorning who happens to be an
entrepreneur.
She owns a seven figurebusiness, right, and, but her
self-worthiness is so in herface, right, like it's.
(09:21):
It's just something that shestruggles, like she.
She knows that she's listeningto lies and she's believing the
lies, but she can't, shecouldn't seem to convince
herself of anything but the lie,right?
So if that's the case, onething I want to really also
share with you guys if you'rereally struggling with that fear
of betrayal and wondering ifyou're worthy, with that fear of
(09:47):
betrayal and that wondering ifyou're worthy, worthiness also
means that you understand a verydeep truth about yourself.
Ok, truth always has a physicalcomponent to it.
Every single time you know, forexample, truth is going to feel
(10:09):
very different in your, in yourbody, than what a lie will.
A lie always feels like youjust ate an anvil hole and it's
sitting in your stomach, right,but truth makes you buzz, it
makes you vibrate, it makes yougo, right, it's a whole
different thing.
So truth always has a physicalcomponent to it, right, you can
(10:32):
sit there and say, like, this isa water bottle.
That is true.
That is a physical component,and if you understand God and
you know God and you love God,that is one of your physical
components.
Because he brought, he puts youhere on this earth for a
mission and a purpose.
That's a physical component oftruth, right?
(10:55):
So I want you to think aboutwhat is actually true and what
you know is true, and then takeinto consideration what you're
believing, follow it back toyour core, follow it back to
your foundational truths, and ifit doesn't match up, it has to
(11:17):
be a lie.
And I'll tell you guys likethis is something that was like
a major aha for her.
As I said, think about.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
God saying those exact words to you.
Oh, I have another one that youmight love.
My friend just reached out tome a couple of days ago and
she's like I just watched thistraining and it was like say
everything that you say with.
And it was like say everythingthat you say with, and that's
(11:51):
just how I like it.
On the end Ooh.
So if you start having a hard,time right.
Right, right, I well, I want tocome up with a positive one.
Money falls at my feet, andthat's just how I like it.
Right, right, positive one.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Money falls at my feet and that's just how I like
it right.
Right, I attract clientseffortlessly and easily and I
make massive shifts for them,and this is how I like it right.
That's truth.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Like that is total truth, and once we like go ahead
, go ahead the audience reallyquick, say it.
What's the like, what's thatnumber one self doubt statement
you keep making?
Say it and then put on the end,and that's just how I like it.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
You're right and that's just how I like it, right
.
And then, if you want to ampthat up, one more, like don't
talk about, like what youdeserve, but talk about, and
that's how God thinks of me.
Oh yeah Right, that's going toturn it on its head quick.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You will move through it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
You will change your language.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yes.
And if that doesn't sound good,here's how you shift it.
Okay, truth and lies, they'reexact opposites.
So if you know that's a lie, itfeels like a lie.
What is the exact opposite ofthat statement?
Exact opposite when you say it,the actual truth.
(13:18):
Notice how it vibrates in yourbody.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, you'll feel it.
Even if you can't believe ityet, then go ahead and baby step
yourself there.
But yeah, like that you justknow where you're going right.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
If you can't believe it, let's have a conversation.
I'll get you.
I'll convince you.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
If you want your six figures.
Yes, yeah, so you have a coupleof more tips for us.
What's?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
the next one.
So number two is check out yourspace, right.
Betrayal trauma is legitimatelydisorganization and it will
show up in your physical spaceas chaos and clutter.
Ok, now again you guys,betrayal Trauma Coach here of 11
(14:13):
years, I just barely wentthrough and did my whole house
overhaul, right, because therewere certain things that I
wanted that weren't quite comingto me yet, and one of the
things I realized is I wassaying I don't have time a lot,
right, and I'm like, okay, sowhere's my time leak?
Right, it was totally my home.
I thought, oh, my poor kids,guys, like I'm totally not
(14:37):
perfect, but I thought it was mysix children, okay, that were
constantly making a big mess,and it wasn't, it was the fact
that I actually had stuff forthem to make a mess with.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
So we're talking about thinking in a more
minimalist kind of way.
So that things can be put awayso that things can be organized
Like what things do you not needto hold on to?
This is so symbolic.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
It is.
What things do you?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
actually not need to hold on to.
This is so symbolic it is.
What things do you actually notneed to hold on to?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
It is Because you know what.
Let me tell you something as Istarted de-junking and I started
getting rid of stuff and Istarted cleaning and I started
like making the space exactlywhat I wanted, right, I actually
noticed I thought I'd getreally, really excited, but
actually it was reallyinteresting.
I noticed I felt empty and Iwas like, huh, well, that's kind
(15:31):
of curious.
Yes, right, like there was thatempty space and I was like,
well, what is that about?
And as I got noticing, Irealized that my clutter was
actually a physicalrepresentation of me feeling
like I needed to have chaos inorder to be seen oh, wow now
(15:58):
let's talk about betrayal traumathere.
Right, once I acknowledged thatand I was like no, no, no, no,
no, no, we don't need that, wedon't need the clutter, we don't
need the chaos to be seen.
You know this, right, theorganization is actually a
symbol of you being able toactually balance your time
(16:18):
between your business and yourfamily and not worry about all
these other extra things.
And not worry about all theseother extra things.
Right, as I started doing myself-talk and realizing, oh, you
know what, Actually I'mcreating what I'm really wanting
.
I'm creating what I'm excitedabout.
All of a sudden, that left.
I started purging not only justmy home but also other beliefs
(16:40):
that I had that were attached tothe trauma and to that story
and all those things, right, andall of a sudden, now I'm
excited again about, like,keeping my home organized,
keeping it clean, keepingexactly the way I want to do it
and making things easy.
(17:01):
Now, this is the key here.
Okay, when I talk aboutorganizing your home, you want
what you want to come to youeasily and effortlessly.
If it's not, there's some chaosin front of it, there's some
clutter in front of it, whetherit be in your physical space or
(17:24):
in your mind.
Most likely it's both.
There's some clutter in frontof it, whether it be in your
physical space or in your mindMost likely it's both.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Right Things will come to you effortlessly and
easily after you're going tohave to take some time and get
serious with that your fear ofwhat people are going to say
(18:08):
right, and how people are goingto use what you say um, maybe
against you.
That's a big fear.
How does that create this kindof clutter in your space?
Just the fear of it.
How does it do that?
What do you think it looks likefor most people?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
You know, I think it really comes down to a time leak
.
You know, as I, as I, I don'thave time, I don't have energy.
You know?
Um, another one I hear a lot isI'm working on my business all
the time and it's just notworking.
And, as you know, they startlike, yeah, right, right, but
(18:52):
they think they're working whenthey're actually just facebook
scrolling right and they'reactually not putting that time
and effort in.
So they're avoiding the tasksthat they know they need to do.
And I'm sorry, guys, you'regoing to hear my kids in the
background.
They're so real I am, it is, itis what it is.
(19:13):
I work in a Harry Potter closet.
I'm not even joking.
My office is underneath mystairs.
I can touch each wall, so, andmy kids are behind that door,
right.
So it's totally real.
But it does come down to a timeleak, because you will avoid
(19:34):
the tasks that need to be doneand make all these excuses and
convince yourself that theseexcuses are true and I'm too
busy, or I can't, I can't, Ican't, I can't, I can't.
You know an example of this?
Okay, I know I've.
(19:55):
I've had a couple of clientscome to me and they're like I
really need help with my trauma,right, and one of the things
and they're they want to likebuild a business, they want to
help coach, they want to dothese things right, but one of
the things that is stopping themfrom standing out right is this
trauma.
(20:16):
Now, if you look at their lookbehind them, their spaces are
very, very disorganized, whichis really interesting.
I've always noticed that.
Okay, so their, their officespace is very disorganized.
One thing I hear consistentlyfrom these people is I don't
(20:39):
have time because this person isshowing up negative and
negatively in my life and it'simpacting me and it won't let me
Mm-hmm, it won't let me, myhusband won't let me, my kids
won't let me and I'm just tootired to deal with their stuff.
Right, but this is what I'msaying.
(21:02):
This actually kind of gets us alittle bit into that third
piece that I was going to say.
This is where we get to makesome decisions and those
decisions are going to equalsome boundaries.
So when somebody is sittingthere saying like they can't do
something because they're afraidof how this person is going to
act or how they're going to showup in their life and so they
(21:23):
have to walk on eggshells aroundpeople, right, yeah, the one I
hear so often from really newpeople.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
But they I call new people, people that are still
making $0, but usually they'vebeen at it for like well at it
Okay For like five years and andthey're like I'm like like you
need to be posting like this andthey're like I'm so afraid I'm
gonna annoy people I'm likethey're afraid that people are
(21:53):
gonna come at them right andthey're afraid of that betraying
them.
Abandonment is a right way ofbeing betrayed, right?
Yeah, I mean, and it's real.
So what do you say about this?
It's going to happen.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
You can't control people.
You're just never going to beable to.
It's going to happen.
The people that you think youcan trust the most I've had this
happen to me in business, mybusiness, best friends,
seriously the people that Ithought I could count on the
most, the people that everybodyelse like wouldn't ever believe
would would be that way towardme, are the ones that turned on
(22:27):
me when I stood in my integrity.
I stood in my power and I didn'tlike waffle and as soon as I
wasn't doing it the way theywanted me to, they, they totally
bad mouth me behind my back.
Right, there's no loyalty right, that feels so bad.
It yeah so, and I'm not theonly one who's experienced it
(22:51):
it's kind of a normal thing inbusiness, because people go in
and out of feeling competitiveand being scared that there's
competition and if you're doingwell, then they must not be here
.
If the spotlight's on you toomuch, it's not on them, or
whatever.
Right, then I mean, what do yousay to people who are
experiencing something like that?
Speaker 2 (23:11):
well, number one.
Uh, you know, I've been workingin the betrayal trauma field,
like I said, for 11 years.
Okay, and I will say, without adoubt, the people that I have
seen have the most betrayaltrauma are entrepreneurs for
sure right, yeah, yeah,absolutely.
(23:32):
And they don't realize it.
They really don't realize itbecause it's just not their
mindset, but it is absolutelythe truth.
Again, they're afraid of beingbetrayed by their audience.
They're afraid of beingbetrayed by their colleagues.
They're afraid of beingbetrayed by their family, their
friends, like their loved ones.
They're afraid of beingbetrayed.
(23:53):
Unfortunately, that's just anumber in the story.
That's something that you'regoing to have to deal with,
because here's the deal Ifyou're stepping into the
entrepreneur space, that alsomeans you're stepping into
lasting, massive growth, right,if you want to grow your
business and if you want to growyour income and if you want to
(24:13):
grow those dollars, that meansyou're going to have to up-level
, you're going to have to change, you're going to have to grow,
and that means thatrelationships are going to have
to do one of two things they'regoing to have to up, level and
grow with you.
So, when you get uncomfortable,they have to get uncomfortable
or they snap and leave you.
(24:35):
So if you think about it likethis, you've seen, like, you
know, like a cup and it's gotlike strings attached to it, and
then there's like likesomething on the end of the
string.
Right, I want you guys want youto imagine like you, is this
cup right?
This is you and you've got astring attached to every single
(24:55):
one of your relationships.
What happens when you pick thatcup up?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
it pulls on them it pulls on them.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
What if happens?
If, right, and if what happensif you move the cup?
Same thing, right, it doesn'tmatter, right?
Sometimes?
Now, what happens if you takeone of those relationships or
one of the things that's at theend of the string and you anchor
it to something like a rock orcement or something really,
(25:23):
really heavy?
Right, it's going gonna snapthe string off of the cup, right
?
yeah, and I think we need toaccept it yes it just has to be
okay yes and you can accept it,because guess what?
That's opening up space for anew relationship that actually
(25:45):
will move with you on the samefrequency with you.
Yes, it's magic.
Yes, because you take a look atyou and me too.
Like you, offer a certificationprogram, I offer a
certification program, too right, with my business coach and my
uh partner, goshla chadwick.
But yet here we are, we'recollaborating we're different,
(26:06):
we do different things.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
There's no competition.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It doesn't no yeah, no, and we totally love each
other, right?
We're able to be real with eachother, we're able to help each
other out still, and we're ableto be in each other's with
respect and love for each other.
When you allow for the loss,you also allow for the loss.
You also allow for the gain,and this is what a lot of
(26:35):
entrepreneurs aren'tunderstanding, especially when
they're talking about I'm notgetting enough money coming in,
I'm not creating enough, I'm notdoing enough, I'm not bringing
in what I want.
Right?
You have to allow for loss inorder to allow for gain.
It has to happen, right?
(26:58):
This is why organizing yourspace works.
You have to allow for loss inorder to allow for gain.
This is why you know facing thefear and actually getting in
and doing the work works.
You have to allow for the lossin order to allow for the gain
(27:19):
yeah, I want to bring this backto our family relationships.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
And then I'd love to hear your gold, your, your
thread of gold analogy thateverybody is, you know everybody
is.
My life has been such that whenI had my lower frequency
friends, the ones that abandonedme or you know, they didn't
just abandon me, they bad, theyback bit me you know, as if I
(27:47):
had done something wrong becauseI was making them uncomfortable
, because I was growing and Iwasn't going backwards.
And that's been happening for Idon't know how many years of
this journey, seven years of myentrepreneurial journey.
(28:09):
I've run into that because whenI finally just stepped in and
just ran forward, some peopleare like wait, wait, wait, I
can't do that with you and soI'm bad, so I need to have a
meltdown and think you're badRight, it's their story.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
You're just making them face their story and they
don't like it, right?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yeah, but I have noticed that it was those very
people that were sowing seeds ofdiscontent in my marriage and
what they would say to me wouldmake my marriage harder and
because of my mindset around it.
Right, when I finally cut tieswith everybody that you know, I
(28:49):
don't even know if I havesomebody in my life.
Still that's like that anymore.
I cut ties, my marriageimproved Like massively.
I'm like, oh wow, because Ifeel way more confident and my
husband likes that Magic.
Go figure, I'm stepping oneggshells Right.
(29:10):
So if you're experiencingsomething like that, you know,
consider.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Yeah, totally, totally.
Well, you know, I want to saysomething to this.
Okay, because I love patterningmy life and helping my clients
pattern their lives after thatof the savior and god, right,
because that's, that's likeultimately, the ultimate goal.
Right, if god will give desiresto the point that he allows a
(29:42):
third of the host of heaven toleave, okay, I'm going to say
that again, he allows them toleave.
He didn't beg him to stay, hedidn't kick him out.
Actually, they chose to leave.
We were all coming here anyway.
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, and hedoes allow for people's desires
(30:03):
, and then he also allows theuniverse to come in and give
consequences.
We can do the same thing.
Okay, I have somebody dear to me, very dear to me, somebody I
love almost as much as I love myown life, who I had to do this
(30:32):
with, okay, and still have to dothis with, because they were
showing up in a very, very toxicway, very toxic way, had
beliefs about absolutely likewhere did you get that?
Like, how did you connect that?
What right?
Um was using incrediblyhorrible language to me, and
(30:58):
anytime I would try to be honestwith them and be like hey, you
know what?
This is not okay.
You can't do this, you can'tspeak to me this way.
It's not okay, and I would setboundaries with them.
They chose out of therelationship, they chose to not
speak to me, they chose to nevertalk to me again, and this is
(31:21):
an irreplaceable relationship.
Actually, because I'mrespectful Of his desire and
because I love him Beyondmeasure, I lovingly and
respectfully let him go.
(31:42):
And the thing is, guys, yeah, ithurt and it still hurts to this
day, right, but my joys are somuch bigger than my pain.
Let me say that Because Irealized this one thing I still
love this person deeply.
That brings me joy.
(32:04):
I'm proud of myself forstanding in my truth.
That brings me joy.
I'm proud of myself for gettingin and creating something
amazing.
That brings me joy.
And so I'm constantly alsoputting daily drops of joy in my
emotional bank account.
And so when I have majorwithdrawals like this and
(32:29):
sometimes it's going to be amonthly withdrawal, okay, a
monthly bill, let's just thinkof it that way, no-transcript,
(33:03):
and I'll tell you somethingyou'll know.
Like I gotta tell you.
You know you're going to dosomething right when somebody
comes to you and attacks you.
I'm not even joking.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
I used to hate saying well, that's the measure of my
success, you know, but there issomething to be said for it.
It like examine yourself, yeah,but don't make the mistake I
did and take it too far and sayyou know, if they're, if they're
feeling like that, it must be areflection of how I'm being.
It's not true not true, right?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
no, no, as a matter of fact.
What if you thought about itthis way?
The adversary wants to stop youfrom fulfilling your mission
and purpose.
Therefore, he's gonna throw themobs at you.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
He will believe what they're saying yes they believe
it, and so you just gotta lovethem and just be like okay yes,
I'm not on my inner circleanymore no you get to go.
I'll hug you if I see you.
I love you, yeah, but you'renot my, my people and it's okay.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, it's okay.
I want my people.
It is tough, it is tough, butif you allow someone to silence
you because they don't agreewith you, then you stop being
(34:25):
the messenger you were meant tobe.
It happens.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
What's this golden, beautiful thread?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Right, I want to say one more thing.
Okay, you get to choose what tobelieve.
You can choose what they say oryou can choose the truth.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
And you know yourself , you know yourself.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
You do?
Yep, you do.
Okay.
So the vein of gold?
Okay, yes, and this is juicy,yummy stuff.
Okay, and I will say that thisvein of gold puts all of these
fears on its ear and literallyputs them away, because here's
(35:07):
the deal.
The vein of gold is you wereput here for a mission and a
purpose.
God knows your mission andpurpose intimately, probably
better than you do.
He's not going to send you herewith a mission and a purpose
(35:28):
that is very, very, verydetailed and very, very, very
important, without everythingyou need to fulfill it.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Okay, wow, that's so real yes, keep going.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Okay, he's gonna send you here with gifts, okay, so
what I'm talking about arespiritual gifts.
Okay, personally, my intuitionis like out of this world, and I
say that because I and I I knowit probably sounds a little, a
little like, oh okay, erin,let's just brag, but it's true,
(36:08):
it's true like my intuition iscrazy powerful.
The second thing is actually,since I've learned to turn to
God and let him be my, myclarifier, my mentor and my um
authenticator I hear him clearly, right, that's another one of
(36:30):
my gifts.
I hear him so clearly, right, Ibeing able to shift energy.
This is another one of my gifts.
He sent to me with these things, plus many, many more gifts,
for a reason.
Ok, I have a couple of clientswho are building their
businesses.
(36:50):
One of them sees auras.
Another one of them canactually shift energy with her
voice, right, amazing, amazingthings.
Ok, we were sent here withgifts.
We were also sent here withtalents.
Ok, I have a talent forspeaking.
(37:11):
I have a talent for telling thetruth.
I have a talent for recognizingthe truth.
Right, I have a talent fortelling the truth.
I have a talent for recognizingthe truth.
Right, I have a talent fordrawing.
I have a talent for singing.
I have a lot of these talents.
I also have a talent forwriting right.
Talents, gifts and talents.
(37:34):
These will tell you amazing,amazing things about yourself
and what you're meant to do here.
But the third piece and guys, Iam buzzing with all kinds of
excited, yummy energy right nowthe third piece to your mission
and your purpose is your traumas.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
The message is in the mess.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yes.
Had I not experienced betrayalat the hands of some of the
people I love the most, some ofthe people I want to serve more
than anything, some of thepeople I want To live just Crazy
, amazing lives, had I notexperienced this type of
(38:23):
betrayal, had I not experiencedthe desire to die, had I not
experienced all this awful stuff, I would not have the message I
have today.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Right, I wouldn't either-hmm.
Would any of us know?
Speaker 2 (38:47):
right, right, no, but it you're see.
Here's the thing.
This is what I love, okay I?
I think it's amazing, like theperson that came up with the
human design program, like Holycow.
That person was very inspired.
That's pretty cool stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
I love it too, we're about to do an interview of me
reading errands where the sunshines on you, awesomeness.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
So I'm excited for this?
Yes, very excited, um, but andI, oh, oh, oh and I was talking,
I was also going to talk about,like, carol tuttle, right, I
love her for energy types right,I've got all four in my family.
It makes things very yeah, itmakes things interesting, let me
(39:31):
tell you, especially when youhave a one and a three right
next to each other, it's like aholy tornado every single day.
But but, right, here's the deal.
We love this stuff because wewant to meet ourselves.
That's why we love it.
(39:55):
But let me tell you, if you wantto meet yourself, it is with
understanding your gifts andyour talents and realizing that
your gifts and your talents arewhat make you a chip off the old
block, and I'm talking about,they are the things that make
you a child of god, because hehas those exact same gifts and
talents.
They connect you directly tohim, but so does your traumas,
(40:22):
and I've said it many times, hadI not experienced what I
experienced, I'd have no need toconnect to him the way I did
yeah and making I want to saythis for anybody who thinks,
because I I know some of myfollowers and it's going to be
in the comments.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
I'm going to head it off right now.
I'm not saying you need to stayin trauma, no, no, no, not
saying that at all.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
I'm saying watch your trauma, be curious about it,
observe it, because there's amessage in it there's a heal
healing yes, yes, you know, themost amazing financial coaches I
know are the ones that havegone from absolute almost
(41:11):
bankruptcy, possibly evenbankruptcy, to multi-million
dollars.
That's a trauma thread, that'sa thread of gold, right?
Uh, my business coach and youeven, right, you know, yeah,
you've gone through thefinancial, you've gone through
what works in business, right,this is one of the reasons why
(41:34):
people come to you it's becausethat's your thread of gold,
right, I know the things.
Yeah, the most amazing weightloss coaches, they're the ones
that have shed like lots ofpoundage Right and made major
(41:58):
shifts, but they also know whatit's like to be very, very
unhealthy.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Right, there's your thread of gold, that's all.
It's all trauma.
This is why I always tellpeople your ideal client is the
past version of you.
That is why that is why, Ifyou're saying stuff like but I
don't want to deal with peoplewho have that, I will tell you
right now you're still in yourstuff.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Do your healing.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Yes, yes, and if you're really, really ready,
like I said, you know, let'shave a chat, because that's what
we're here to do.
Is we're here to also help youignite your mission and your
purpose, right?
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Yeah, let's tell people how they can get a little
juicy goodness from you.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
So, yes, so let me tell you something, and this
isn't something I was going tohit on it a little bit more but
I didn't get the chance becauseyou know I'm all lit up and
everything like that and goingsomewhere else.
But I love to also teach peopleabout their boundaries, right.
Love to also teach people abouttheir boundaries right, because
your boundaries arelegitimately the organization of
(43:02):
your energy.
Okay, I like that yes, yeah,that is the organization of your
energy, that is theorganization of your truth and
that is the organization of youas a person.
Okay, so when you have reallyreally solid, solid boundaries
and you're not ashamed of yourboundaries, okay, you can
(43:28):
literally blow up this thread ofgold that we've been talking
about into six or seven figures.
Let Let me tell you, guys, thereason why Bronwyn and Tara are
both so amazing in theirbusinesses is because they're
highly boundaried, right?
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Tara is especially awesome at boundaries.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
So much.
Yes, I'm like you're going tobe proud of me.
Good job, right.
Yes, so it's like good job, allright yes, I love tara.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
She's amazing, she's amazing.
So, but that's the thing,people who are very, very
boundaried are the ones that arebringing in those six and seven
figures right.
Another really good one um, Ilove lark dingalley, right.
Here's another person favorite.
I love lark.
She's very boundaried and shebrings in six or seven figures
(44:27):
oh right multi-millionaire.
Oh yeah, right, right.
So, okay, multi-seven.
Okay, my business coach right,she brings in seven figures.
She's highly, she's highlyboundaried.
All of the people I know thatare bringing in six or seven
figures are highly, highlyboundaried because they have
organized themselves.
(44:48):
So what I have for you is aclarifying and creating your
boundaries process in pdf.
This was created as I wassitting back and thinking to
myself, like, what was my ownboundary creation process?
Right, what were the questionsI was asking myself, what was I
doing?
And, honestly, what do I stilldo?
(45:09):
Like, if I want to create somesort of a goal and I want some
reality from this goal, thenthat means that there's also a
boundary process that happens inthe interim right.
Once we understand that ourrealities, our visions, those
(45:30):
things that we want actuallysorry guys, I'm sorry we have-
our boundaries on here.
We're listening, we do Thank,thank you.
I love my kids, but they it is.
It's so real.
I, we do.
But this is where you startcreating those six and seven
(45:52):
figures is actually in yourboundaries, and once you start
creating boundaries with yourrelationships, boundaries within
yourself, this is where youstart opening the doors to
actually creating amazing,amazing things for yourself and
for everyone else.
So that is completely free.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
My boundary pdf nice, okay, so say boundaries, please
in in the comments and Aaronwill reach out to you and get
you that link.
Thank you for being here.
You're welcome.
This has been so juicy.
Now I have something for youtoo.
(46:30):
If you don't already have this.
I have a streamline your salesprocess checklist that includes
now I just gave a facelift, soif you have had this before, you
can go get it again, and it's alittle different.
It includes your four offersthat you need to have in place
in the checklist to be ready toactually market, and in there
(46:53):
I'm talking about getting onstage.
But this goes to any stage.
It goes to a stage like thisone right here, any stage.
If you don't have your stuffready, then you don't show up as
confidently.
This is so important.
So I made you a little checklist.
I gave you exactly what to do.
Just in a nutshell.
You can go do it if you'resmart.
Lark Dean Galley she ravesabout it.
(47:14):
She got this.
Then she just went and did it.
Love it, yes, and there's alsowhat I did to change.
It was I gave you instructionsfor how to go find out the human
design, the part where the sunshines on you.
How are you designed for thesun to shine on you?
How are you designed to shinein this life?
And for me, totally on point, Ididn't.
(47:36):
I'm like I knew that about me,but it's just so fun to see that
Right.
So again, we're going to be ohyeah, say I want six figures in
the comments and I will send youthat checklist so you can go
and work on those things foryourself.
But I'm about to do we're aboutto end this interview and start
another one.
I'm about to do.
(47:57):
We're about to end thisinterview and start another one.
I'm going to tell Erin her partof her, her human design, where
the sun is designed to shine onher.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Make sure you watch my feed so that you see that
I'll be tagged in that one.
So that, yeah, so you can watchthat one too.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
All right Erin.
Thank you for coming namasteand thanks everybody for loving
on my kids too, right they'revery.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
They sound like they're having a lot of fun oh
yeah and like they're superactive, and I hear that three in
there I'm sure that's who I washearing yeah, I have two threes
.
All right, we'll see you in thenext video.
Thanks for watching.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
We'll see you thanks, bye guys.
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