September 15, 2025 • 22 mins
It this episode of The Paid Leave Podcast, we take a look at Hispanic Heritage Month, which runs from September 15th through October 15th. During this month it is a celebration of the culture and diversity of the Hispanic population, but it also focuses on mental health and the challenges that Hispanics face.
Evelyn Alejandro joins me to talk about Hispanic Heritage Month, and her parents struggles with mental health. Evelyn was the focus of an article in Mental Health Connecticut's Let's FACE IT Campaign. In the article she discusses her parents' mental health conditions, and how it affected her as a young girl. She talks about losing her mother tragically in a car crash, and how her trauma led to her being told she may be suffering from PTSD. Evelyn discusses the shame and stigma of mental health and says that CT Paid Leave is a resource that can help many Hispanics, who may not know about the program.
To get in touch with Evelyn Please go to her website at: Agape Designs - Holistic Marketing Agency
Contact Evelyn at her email address: agapedesigns860@gmail.com
Or Here at the Central Connecticut Chamber of Commerce at their PYVOT program: PYVOT - Central Connecticut Chambers of Commerce
For more information or to apply for benefits please go to: ctpaidleave.org
https://ctpaidleave.org/s/?language=en_US
https://www.facebook.com/CTPaidLeave
https://www.instagram.com/ctpaidleave/
https://twitter.com/CTPaidLeave
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ct+paid+leave
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nancy Barrow (00:01):
Hello Connecticut, and welcome toThe Paid Leave
Podcast. The title basicallysays it all. I'm Nancy Barrow,
and I will be delving into thisnew state program and how it can
help you and your family. Thispodcast will give you
information you should knowabout Connecticut Paid Leave and
maybe just a little bit more.
Connecticut Paid Leave bringspeace of mind to your home,
(00:22):
family and workplace. Welcome toThe Paid Leave Podcast.
It is Hispanic Heritage Monthfrom September 15 through
October 15, and during thismonth, it's time to celebrate
the culture and diversity of theHispanic population and also
focus on health equity andmental health and the challenges
(00:44):
that Hispanics face. Joining meto talk about this is Evelyn
Alejandro. She has a livedexperience about mental health
in her own family. She is thefounder of Agape Designs LLC, a
Connecticut based marketingagency offering social media
management, website design andadvertising strategy for
entrepreneurs and nonprofits.
And she's also the ExecutiveDirector of the Professional
(01:07):
Young Visionaries of Tomorrowknown as PYVOT. It's a
networking group forprofessionals age 21 to 40. It's
based out of the CentralConnecticut Chambers of
Commerce. PYVOT brings togetheremerging leaders from across the
state for professionaldevelopment, collaboration and
community impact. And welcome toThe Paid Leave podcast Evelyn,
great to have you here.
Evelyn Alejandro (01:28):
Thank you so much for having me. Nancy, it's
a pleasure being here.
Nancy Barrow (01:31):
You're so young,and you've done so much
already. Your ExecutiveDirector, that's amazing!
Evelyn Alejandro (01:37):
Thank you so much. It's an honor to be in
Nancy Barrow (01:39):
Since it's Hispanic Heritage Month, can you
that role.
tell me about your Hispanicbackground and your culture and
and why it's so important to youEvelyn?
Evelyn Alejandro (01:46):
Yes, so I am Puerto Rican and Irish. My dad
is the Puerto Rican side, and mymom was Irish, but many people
that knew her would say she'salso Puerto Rican at heart. And
you asked me to tell you moreabout Hispanic culture. So
Hispanic people are veryresilient people. We no matter
(02:09):
the circumstances, we find joyin our lives, because I think
Nancy Barrow (02:10):
Yeah, the food is always good!
we're just so grateful. We viewlife as a blessing. And in our
culture, it's very important todance and spend time with your
family. Eat good food.
Evelyn Alejandro (02:35):
Yes, cooking is definitely important in our
Yeah, also another foundationfor Puerto Rican culture is we
work very hard in whatever we'redoing professionally. So I got a
really strong work ethic fromboth of my parents. My mom would
work 14 hour days. She was aCNA, and she took care of
(02:56):
people, and she went back toschool and became an LPN. And I
got to see growing up kind ofwhat it's like to grow old and
deal with really bad medicalissues. And then also see my mom
in that role and how it shapedwhat she believed, because you
get a lot of wisdom through thatfield. And then also my father,
(03:19):
he worked in construction. Sothose are also very long days,
culture as well.
building houses, building pools.
And he really enjoyed that asAnd what about your upbringing,
and how did that shape you,well. They both really loved
their work, and they werepassionate about it. And I think
that transfers over into my workpersonally and professionally?
life, because I really work hardat what I do, but I also love
doing it
Nancy Barrow (03:39):
Well. I think having that, that base right,
like it really does set you upfor success. Yeah, right. Tell
me about the importance ofcultural visibility in
leadership and businesses,because I think that's really
important.
Evelyn Alejandro (03:53):
Yeah. I think that has been more of a topic in
recent years, and more peopleare talking about it and asking
for it, but I do think that it'snot fully in effect in
leadership. A lot of the roomsthat I go into, I'm the
youngest, and there's very fewpeople of color on leadership
(04:15):
boards, and especially inlegislation as well. So
definitely want more people thatare Hispanic and other cultures
to be in leadership roles, toshowcase the actual population
of Connecticut and othercommunities.
Nancy Barrow (04:30):
Well, let's talk about mental health and and what
really brought us together.
Because it was your ownexperience. In an article for
Mental Health Connecticut, andtheir, Let's FACE IT, campaign.
And I read the article andthought to myself, this girl has
such an incredible story and animportant story that really
needed to be told. And that'swhen I got in touch with you,
(04:50):
and I wanted to share your storyin hopes that maybe you reach
like one person who may decideto get some help because of it.
And. And here we are now. So whydon't you tell me about your mom
and dad and their struggles withmental health, and how you dealt
with it as a family and and didyou feel like you had to be a
caregiver at a really young age?
Evelyn Alejandro (05:13):
Yes. So regarding the article for Mental
Health Connecticut, I talkedabout my parents experience with
mental conditions. So my fatherwas schizophrenic and my mother
had bipolar disorder. Andgrowing up, they didn't really
talk about it. They hid it verywell from a lot of people. And I
(05:35):
think that there's a lot ofconnotations that if you have a
mental health condition, you'renot smart, or you're not good
enough, which is not true. Theywere very smart in their fields
and and I think that they justwere afraid of the judgment. So
later on, after they had passed,well, I knew my dad was
(05:56):
schizophrenic, but my mom, Ididn't know she was diagnosed
until after she passed away,because she never talked about
it. And my grandmother actuallytold me that she was diagnosed
as a kid and had been on atreatment plan, and then she
refused, and then she never toldanybody. But I always had a hint
that she was I would say itwhen, whenever we got into
(06:19):
argument. So it was just likeconfirmation for me that my
experience with her mentalcondition was real.
Nancy Barrow (06:26):
That's so interesting. So she wouldn't
talk about it, but you kind ofrecognized that as a kid.
Evelyn Alejandro (06:30):
Yes, I was very close with my mom. She
mostly raised me as a single momwith my sister. And I think when
you mentioned feeling like youhave to be an adult. I did feel
that way as a kid, because I hadto help with my sister. My mom's
working long shifts, and I thinkthat I was definitely mad about
(06:51):
it and resentful about it. Andnow, in hindsight, I can see how
much my mom was doing to takecare of us, and that she needed
that, and I wish I understoodmore when I was a kid, but, you
know, I was a kid, I didn't getit.
Nancy Barrow (07:05):
There is so much stigma around mental health in
the Hispanic community, and youknow, specifically, and why do
you think that is?
Evelyn Alejandro (07:13):
So, I think really, there's stigma and
mental health, and no matteryour ethnicity or background, I
think it's human nature to wantto feel strong, pretend like
everything's okay when it's not.
You don't want to feel likesomething's wrong with you, or
have to admit that. And I thinkin Hispanic culture
(07:33):
specifically, we're taught to bestrong all the time so and I
think we're a very collectivecommunity with our families, and
a lot of the time, I think ourfamilies know when we're
struggling, but I don't thinkthat people do talk about it
enough, like, I think it'ssurface level, like, Oh, I'm
stressed about my job or I'mstressed about my relationship,
(07:57):
But it's not about their mentalhealth, like it's about their
circumstances. Yeah. So I thinkthat definitely has to change,
and I think it's okay to ask forhelp, go to therapy, do a
treatment plan, do what's bestfor you, and that will help the
people around you as well.
Nancy Barrow (08:19):
Yeah. And then at the time, when you were like 14,
your mom died in a car accident.
Tell me about that situation andhow that affected you.
Evelyn Alejandro (08:28):
Yeah, it was a really tough time. So since she
was my primary caregiver, it waslike an up ending for me and my
sister. Me and my sister havedifferent fathers, so when that
had happened, I went with myfather, and my sister had a
custody battle with multiplepeople in our family, and then
some of her dad's side of thefamily, and that was really
(08:52):
rough too to go through that,because I felt like I didn't
have much control over what washappening with my sister, and I
missed her and we wereseparated, and it was also hard
for me to see her at the time,because it reminded me so much
of my mom, right and what wasgoing on. It was really tragic
to lose my mom without beingable to say goodbye. When she
(09:14):
passed away, the police, likenotified us at the door that she
was in the hospital, and so wehad to drive over to the
hospital, which was St Francis,and when we got there, they let
us know that she had passedaway. And I just remember as
immediately when they startedtheir speech in the hallway, and
(09:35):
there was like 30 of us waitingfor news, I just they were like,
unfortunately, and then I justlost it, yeah, I was so upset.
Nancy Barrow (09:45):
And you were so young. Was there, was there any
kind of resources available toyou at that time, like in high
school? Did the guidancecounselors reach out to you and
try to help you through thiswhole situation, or did you have
any tribe to help you?
Evelyn Alejandro (10:02):
So I definitely had a tribe. I had
lots of aunts that really caredabout me and showed me love. And
then I moved in with my dad, andat the time, he had relapsed
after my mom passed away, so itwas very tough time for him,
too, and it became very hard, Ithink, at the high school that I
(10:22):
went to when I was with my dad,they didn't really give me the
guidance support that I needed,and then I transferred schools
because I ended up living withmy uncle, and they definitely
took a more hands on approach,and that was really helpful,
like my guidance counselorreally helped me with college
applications, and just likemeeting with me, and then I also
(10:44):
did go to therapy, but I wasn'tready for it yet, so it didn't
really work, because I felt likemy uncle were forcing me, and I
felt like they were I was beingpunished for my mom passing, but
that wasn't what they weretrying to do and that.
Nancy Barrow (11:00):
But that's your perspective. Yes, that's your
perspective. Yeah, yeah,
Evelyn Alejandro (11:05):
Exactly. But I do believe in therapy. I think
that's important. And then Ijust, I really relied on friends
and family, and I definitely hadto deal with not, like, avoiding
my feelings, and that's when Ireally started to heal, when I
just, like, let myself feel.
Nancy Barrow (11:24):
I think when I in the article that I read, you
actually went to college, andthen somebody who was in nursing
program said, Hey, have you everheard of PTSD? Like, you might
be suffering from PTSD.
Evelyn Alejandro (11:38):
I think I never was diagnosed when I form
like when I first went totherapy, because I was so closed
off and I just didn't take itseriously. But it was really
helpful, because she noticed thesigns in me, like mood swings or
impulsiveness or flashbacks thatI would get. So I think it was
(12:00):
important for me to know that,and then then I can take action
towards it if I know what mydiagnosis is.
Nancy Barrow (12:07):
Yeah, right. And from all that trauma, like,
that's a lot of trauma that youdealt with having two parents
with serious health conditions.
You know, both mental healthconditions were pretty serious,
and when you live with your dad,did you notice the schizophrenia
more like, or was he reallycareful about his medication?
Evelyn Alejandro (12:25):
He didn't want to be on medication either. He
definitely was very paranoid alot. And that also made me like
hyper vigilent as well. And Ithink that there was like, I
felt like my dad was two people,because he was also, in one
(12:48):
aspect, a great dad that was agreat conversationalist, that
could read his kids like a book,and he loved dancing, he loved
life. And then the other side ofit was him struggling with
addiction and him strugglingwith paranoia, and that really
was hard to see as a kid, too.
Nancy Barrow (13:08):
Yeah. I mean, I think seeing the addiction end
of it, there's always those coolcomorbidities, like in it
together, right? Like, if youhave a serious mental health
condition, a lot of times like,you will have that addiction
issue, and that is a lot forsomeone to handle again. When
you went to college and you gotthe PTSD, did you start then
getting therapy to really helpwith the PTSD that you were
(13:31):
suffering from?
Evelyn Alejandro (13:32):
I did go to therapy, but I didn't
immediately, but I startedresearching more about PTSD and
how to help myself. Yeah, andthen I did go to therapy, and
that was helpful. I don't rightnow, but I would again. I think
just knowing was helpful,because I could research it on
my own too.
Nancy Barrow (13:51):
Yeah, and find out. Oh, okay, this is what I've
been dealing with. I, you know,a lot of times you stuff it
down, right, because you don'twant to deal with it, but it'll
always resurface somewhere andand I think it was so
interesting reading the articletoo, that you said your faith
really helped you. How did thathelp you?
Evelyn Alejandro (14:08):
I really started to flourish in my faith
when I reached community withfaith. So I did some service
trips to volunteer with otherChristians. And that was really
eye opening for me, because Isaw people that had been through
worse than I did, and I couldsee them still finding peace
with God, and that was reallyhelpful. And also just having a
(14:33):
good community around you thathas the same mindset was really
helpful for me as well, but Ithink my relationship with God,
one on one was the best thingfor me, because I was I've
always felt like no oneunderstood how I felt as a kid.
So with God, I feel like heknows everything, and it lets me
(14:54):
let go of the control of I needto control what's happening in
my life or what happened. Right,and it lets me accept it and
move on and keep going, and toalso find gratitude in
everything.
Nancy Barrow (15:08):
One of the things I love about Connecticut Paid
Leave and working there is wegive up to 12 weeks of income
replacement for mental health ifyour health care provider deems
it a serious health condition,or you are continuing treatment,
and you must take time away fromwork to get treatment like if
(15:29):
you're getting if you're gettingtherapy. It also covers
caregiver leave, so you can takecare of someone with a really
serious health condition, likemaybe your parents with mental
health issues, which may be achronic health condition. All
these things are so importantand really good resources. How
important do you feel programslike Connecticut Paid Leave are
to the Hispanic community atlarge and helping them with, you
know, what is something thatthey don't really like to talk
about?
Evelyn Alejandro (15:47):
Yeah, I think that that it's a great program
to have for the community. Ithink more of them need to
understand what it is and whatit can do for them. I don't
think many people know that theycan take leave for mental
health, or that they can takeleave for caregiving. I think a
lot of people are caregivers inthe Hispanic community, so that
(16:09):
would be super helpful. When mydad passed away, I was like so
ready to get back to work,because I need to do something
with my hands and keep moving.
Nancy Barrow (16:17):
So when did your dad pass away?
Evelyn Alejandro (16:19):
He passed away in 2023.
Nancy Barrow (16:22):
And when you know, when you go through something
like losing a parent, you knowthere is that grief issue, but
there's also, you know, you mayneed to take time away from work
so you can get some mentalhealth for yourself. And
sometimes it doesn't crop upright away, like PTSD doesn't
crop up right away. So the factthat, you know, you could use
(16:42):
this if you needed to go have,you know, therapy once a week,
you can take that time and getincome replacement for the time
that you need to do that, whichI think is wonderful that that
it's available to people.
Evelyn Alejandro (16:54):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Nancy Barrow (16:55):
Do you think things have changed at all with
the mental health stigma in theHispanic community since your
parents?
Evelyn Alejandro (17:02):
I think overall, as people, we
definitely have talked aboutmental health more, and a lot of
the times it is the surfacelevel of self care. And just
like reaching out to someonewhen you need help, which is
also a great point, but I thinkwe definitely still need to have
(17:23):
deeper conversations when you'rewith your grandparents or your
or your parents like I thinkthat sometimes they hide their
past from their kids becausethey might be embarrassed or it
might be hard for them to talkabout it, but I think the
history of their lives is soimportant to teach the next
generation, and it will helpthem learn from that as well. So
(17:48):
I think if more families hadreal conversation about their
life experience, more peoplewould not feel alone, and they
would understand how widespreadmental health is in their
families.
Nancy Barrow (18:01):
When did you get involved with Mental Health
Connecticut and and are they agood resource for people?
Evelyn Alejandro (18:07):
Yes, Mental Health Connecticut, I got
involved with them about a yearago. I saw them at a Community
Wellness Fair, and they do a lotof great programs throughout the
state. So they provide an artprogram called The Art of Well
Being. So they have free artclasses, playing instruments,
(18:27):
painting, drawing, crafting.
They did paper cranes workshop.
They just did a florist workshopwhere they teach you how to put
together flowers. Amazing. Yeah.
So they have a lot of greatprogramming, and they have a lot
of residential services where,if someone just has left the
hospital, the mental healthhospital, they can go and have
(18:47):
rehabilitation there, withtherapy and the art programs and
being around other people andsocializing. So that's really
great. And they also have a lotof resources on their website to
find therapy and to find help.
So if you go to M, H, C, O, N, N.org, right on the top right
(19:09):
hand corner, they have a FindHelp section, explore resources,
and they do a lot for the peoplein Connecticut. They also have a
Deaf and Hard of Hearing Servicethat they work with people that
are deaf and hard of hearing,who have a mental health
condition, and they have asocial group for them so they
can go out and do things as agroup. They also have a couple
(19:30):
other centers. They have one inWaterbury, the Independence
Center, where they also providefree meals, and they do more art
activities there as well.
Nancy Barrow (19:41):
Yeah, I think it's such a great resource. And, you
know, maybe if those resourceswere available for your parents,
that would have been reallyimportant for them and and a
good, a good tool for them touse.
Evelyn Alejandro (19:52):
Yeah, and they also do a lot of education, so I
think that would have beenhelpful for them as well, just
teaching people about mentalhealth and what like coping
mechanisms, and then they alsodo a lot of advocacy work in
legislation to make sure thatmental health conditions are
treated the same way ininsurance as physical
(20:15):
conditions.
Nancy Barrow (20:15):
What would you like to see happen during
Hispanic Heritage Month, whichis September 15 through October
15.
Evelyn Alejandro (20:25):
I think definitely want to learn more
history. I think a lot of peoplegrowing up didn't get taught
about Hispanic culture orhistory. So I always try to find
new articles or new resources toteach me about Hispanic culture,
and then also finding joy andfinding people getting together
(20:48):
to dance and celebrate ourculture.
Nancy Barrow (20:50):
What message would you like, you know, listeners of
this podcast, to walk away with?
I think that one of yourmessages of hope is, is really
important.
Evelyn Alejandro (21:01):
I would say there's a lot of resources that
Connecticut Paid Leave offersthat many people might not know.
So it's great getting togetherwith you and learning more about
it, and they can find moreresources on your website too.
Nancy Barrow (21:13):
Well, I want to thank my guest, Evelyn
Alejandro, an entrepreneur andbusiness woman and a person
speaking up for mental healthand self care. I really think
this has been really important,and thank you for telling a
really important story today.
And thank you so much for beingon The Paid Leave Podcast.
Evelyn Alejandro (21:28):
Thank you so much for having me here and
inviting me to chat with youtoday.
Nancy Barrow (21:32):
Well, you're keeping it the memory of your
parents alive, which I think isso super important for you and
and I hope for continued healingfor you. And you know you can
always count on Connecticut PaidLeave to help if, if you need us
there.
Thank you so much. Nancy.
For more information or to applyfor benefits, please go to
ctpaidleave.org. This has beenanother edition of The Paid
(21:55):
Leave Podcast. Please like andsubscribe so you'll be notified
about new podcasts that becomeavailable. Connecticut Paid
Leave is a public act with apersonal purpose. I'm Nancy
Barrow, and thanks forlistening.
Hello Connecticut, and welcome toThe Paid Leave
Podcast. The title basicallysays it all. I'm Nancy Barrow,
and I will be delving into thisnew state program and how it can
help you and your family. Thispodcast will give you
information you should knowabout Connecticut Paid Leave and
maybe just a little bit more.
Connecticut Paid Leave bringspeace of mind to your home,
(00:22):
family and workplace. Welcome toThe Paid Leave Podcast.
It is Hispanic Heritage Monthfrom September 15 through
October 15, and during thismonth, it's time to celebrate
the culture and diversity of theHispanic population and also
focus on health equity andmental health and the challenges
(00:44):
that Hispanics face. Joining meto talk about this is Evelyn
Alejandro. She has a livedexperience about mental health
in her own family. She is thefounder of Agape Designs LLC, a
Connecticut based marketingagency offering social media
management, website design andadvertising strategy for
entrepreneurs and nonprofits.
And she's also the ExecutiveDirector of the Professional
(01:07):
Young Visionaries of Tomorrowknown as PYVOT. It's a
networking group forprofessionals age 21 to 40. It's
based out of the CentralConnecticut Chambers of
Commerce. PYVOT brings togetheremerging leaders from across the
state for professionaldevelopment, collaboration and
community impact. And welcome toThe Paid Leave podcast Evelyn,
great to have you here.
Evelyn Alejandro (01:28):
Thank you so much for having me. Nancy, it's
a pleasure being here.
Nancy Barrow (01:31):
You're so young,and you've done so much
already. Your ExecutiveDirector, that's amazing!
Evelyn Alejandro (01:37):
Thank you so much. It's an honor to be in
Nancy Barrow (01:39):
Since it's Hispanic Heritage Month, can you
that role.
tell me about your Hispanicbackground and your culture and
and why it's so important to youEvelyn?
Evelyn Alejandro (01:46):
Yes, so I am Puerto Rican and Irish. My dad
is the Puerto Rican side, and mymom was Irish, but many people
that knew her would say she'salso Puerto Rican at heart. And
you asked me to tell you moreabout Hispanic culture. So
Hispanic people are veryresilient people. We no matter
(02:09):
the circumstances, we find joyin our lives, because I think
Nancy Barrow (02:10):
Yeah, the food is always good!
we're just so grateful. We viewlife as a blessing. And in our
culture, it's very important todance and spend time with your
family. Eat good food.
Evelyn Alejandro (02:35):
Yes, cooking is definitely important in our
Yeah, also another foundationfor Puerto Rican culture is we
work very hard in whatever we'redoing professionally. So I got a
really strong work ethic fromboth of my parents. My mom would
work 14 hour days. She was aCNA, and she took care of
(02:56):
people, and she went back toschool and became an LPN. And I
got to see growing up kind ofwhat it's like to grow old and
deal with really bad medicalissues. And then also see my mom
in that role and how it shapedwhat she believed, because you
get a lot of wisdom through thatfield. And then also my father,
(03:19):
he worked in construction. Sothose are also very long days,
culture as well.
building houses, building pools.
And he really enjoyed that asAnd what about your upbringing,
and how did that shape you,well. They both really loved
their work, and they werepassionate about it. And I think
that transfers over into my workpersonally and professionally?
life, because I really work hardat what I do, but I also love
doing it
Nancy Barrow (03:39):
Well. I think having that, that base right,
like it really does set you upfor success. Yeah, right. Tell
me about the importance ofcultural visibility in
leadership and businesses,because I think that's really
important.
Evelyn Alejandro (03:53):
Yeah. I think that has been more of a topic in
recent years, and more peopleare talking about it and asking
for it, but I do think that it'snot fully in effect in
leadership. A lot of the roomsthat I go into, I'm the
youngest, and there's very fewpeople of color on leadership
(04:15):
boards, and especially inlegislation as well. So
definitely want more people thatare Hispanic and other cultures
to be in leadership roles, toshowcase the actual population
of Connecticut and othercommunities.
Nancy Barrow (04:30):
Well, let's talk about mental health and and what
really brought us together.
Because it was your ownexperience. In an article for
Mental Health Connecticut, andtheir, Let's FACE IT, campaign.
And I read the article andthought to myself, this girl has
such an incredible story and animportant story that really
needed to be told. And that'swhen I got in touch with you,
(04:50):
and I wanted to share your storyin hopes that maybe you reach
like one person who may decideto get some help because of it.
And. And here we are now. So whydon't you tell me about your mom
and dad and their struggles withmental health, and how you dealt
with it as a family and and didyou feel like you had to be a
caregiver at a really young age?
Evelyn Alejandro (05:13):
Yes. So regarding the article for Mental
Health Connecticut, I talkedabout my parents experience with
mental conditions. So my fatherwas schizophrenic and my mother
had bipolar disorder. Andgrowing up, they didn't really
talk about it. They hid it verywell from a lot of people. And I
(05:35):
think that there's a lot ofconnotations that if you have a
mental health condition, you'renot smart, or you're not good
enough, which is not true. Theywere very smart in their fields
and and I think that they justwere afraid of the judgment. So
later on, after they had passed,well, I knew my dad was
(05:56):
schizophrenic, but my mom, Ididn't know she was diagnosed
until after she passed away,because she never talked about
it. And my grandmother actuallytold me that she was diagnosed
as a kid and had been on atreatment plan, and then she
refused, and then she never toldanybody. But I always had a hint
that she was I would say itwhen, whenever we got into
(06:19):
argument. So it was just likeconfirmation for me that my
experience with her mentalcondition was real.
Nancy Barrow (06:26):
That's so interesting. So she wouldn't
talk about it, but you kind ofrecognized that as a kid.
Evelyn Alejandro (06:30):
Yes, I was very close with my mom. She
mostly raised me as a single momwith my sister. And I think when
you mentioned feeling like youhave to be an adult. I did feel
that way as a kid, because I hadto help with my sister. My mom's
working long shifts, and I thinkthat I was definitely mad about
(06:51):
it and resentful about it. Andnow, in hindsight, I can see how
much my mom was doing to takecare of us, and that she needed
that, and I wish I understoodmore when I was a kid, but, you
know, I was a kid, I didn't getit.
Nancy Barrow (07:05):
There is so much stigma around mental health in
the Hispanic community, and youknow, specifically, and why do
you think that is?
Evelyn Alejandro (07:13):
So, I think really, there's stigma and
mental health, and no matteryour ethnicity or background, I
think it's human nature to wantto feel strong, pretend like
everything's okay when it's not.
You don't want to feel likesomething's wrong with you, or
have to admit that. And I thinkin Hispanic culture
(07:33):
specifically, we're taught to bestrong all the time so and I
think we're a very collectivecommunity with our families, and
a lot of the time, I think ourfamilies know when we're
struggling, but I don't thinkthat people do talk about it
enough, like, I think it'ssurface level, like, Oh, I'm
stressed about my job or I'mstressed about my relationship,
(07:57):
But it's not about their mentalhealth, like it's about their
circumstances. Yeah. So I thinkthat definitely has to change,
and I think it's okay to ask forhelp, go to therapy, do a
treatment plan, do what's bestfor you, and that will help the
people around you as well.
Nancy Barrow (08:19):
Yeah. And then at the time, when you were like 14,
your mom died in a car accident.
Tell me about that situation andhow that affected you.
Evelyn Alejandro (08:28):
Yeah, it was a really tough time. So since she
was my primary caregiver, it waslike an up ending for me and my
sister. Me and my sister havedifferent fathers, so when that
had happened, I went with myfather, and my sister had a
custody battle with multiplepeople in our family, and then
some of her dad's side of thefamily, and that was really
(08:52):
rough too to go through that,because I felt like I didn't
have much control over what washappening with my sister, and I
missed her and we wereseparated, and it was also hard
for me to see her at the time,because it reminded me so much
of my mom, right and what wasgoing on. It was really tragic
to lose my mom without beingable to say goodbye. When she
(09:14):
passed away, the police, likenotified us at the door that she
was in the hospital, and so wehad to drive over to the
hospital, which was St Francis,and when we got there, they let
us know that she had passedaway. And I just remember as
immediately when they startedtheir speech in the hallway, and
(09:35):
there was like 30 of us waitingfor news, I just they were like,
unfortunately, and then I justlost it, yeah, I was so upset.
Nancy Barrow (09:45):
And you were so young. Was there, was there any
kind of resources available toyou at that time, like in high
school? Did the guidancecounselors reach out to you and
try to help you through thiswhole situation, or did you have
any tribe to help you?
Evelyn Alejandro (10:02):
So I definitely had a tribe. I had
lots of aunts that really caredabout me and showed me love. And
then I moved in with my dad, andat the time, he had relapsed
after my mom passed away, so itwas very tough time for him,
too, and it became very hard, Ithink, at the high school that I
(10:22):
went to when I was with my dad,they didn't really give me the
guidance support that I needed,and then I transferred schools
because I ended up living withmy uncle, and they definitely
took a more hands on approach,and that was really helpful,
like my guidance counselorreally helped me with college
applications, and just likemeeting with me, and then I also
(10:44):
did go to therapy, but I wasn'tready for it yet, so it didn't
really work, because I felt likemy uncle were forcing me, and I
felt like they were I was beingpunished for my mom passing, but
that wasn't what they weretrying to do and that.
Nancy Barrow (11:00):
But that's your perspective. Yes, that's your
perspective. Yeah, yeah,
Evelyn Alejandro (11:05):
Exactly. But I do believe in therapy. I think
that's important. And then Ijust, I really relied on friends
and family, and I definitely hadto deal with not, like, avoiding
my feelings, and that's when Ireally started to heal, when I
just, like, let myself feel.
Nancy Barrow (11:24):
I think when I in the article that I read, you
actually went to college, andthen somebody who was in nursing
program said, Hey, have you everheard of PTSD? Like, you might
be suffering from PTSD.
Evelyn Alejandro (11:38):
I think I never was diagnosed when I form
like when I first went totherapy, because I was so closed
off and I just didn't take itseriously. But it was really
helpful, because she noticed thesigns in me, like mood swings or
impulsiveness or flashbacks thatI would get. So I think it was
(12:00):
important for me to know that,and then then I can take action
towards it if I know what mydiagnosis is.
Nancy Barrow (12:07):
Yeah, right. And from all that trauma, like,
that's a lot of trauma that youdealt with having two parents
with serious health conditions.
You know, both mental healthconditions were pretty serious,
and when you live with your dad,did you notice the schizophrenia
more like, or was he reallycareful about his medication?
Evelyn Alejandro (12:25):
He didn't want to be on medication either. He
definitely was very paranoid alot. And that also made me like
hyper vigilent as well. And Ithink that there was like, I
felt like my dad was two people,because he was also, in one
(12:48):
aspect, a great dad that was agreat conversationalist, that
could read his kids like a book,and he loved dancing, he loved
life. And then the other side ofit was him struggling with
addiction and him strugglingwith paranoia, and that really
was hard to see as a kid, too.
Nancy Barrow (13:08):
Yeah. I mean, I think seeing the addiction end
of it, there's always those coolcomorbidities, like in it
together, right? Like, if youhave a serious mental health
condition, a lot of times like,you will have that addiction
issue, and that is a lot forsomeone to handle again. When
you went to college and you gotthe PTSD, did you start then
getting therapy to really helpwith the PTSD that you were
(13:31):
suffering from?
Evelyn Alejandro (13:32):
I did go to therapy, but I didn't
immediately, but I startedresearching more about PTSD and
how to help myself. Yeah, andthen I did go to therapy, and
that was helpful. I don't rightnow, but I would again. I think
just knowing was helpful,because I could research it on
my own too.
Nancy Barrow (13:51):
Yeah, and find out. Oh, okay, this is what I've
been dealing with. I, you know,a lot of times you stuff it
down, right, because you don'twant to deal with it, but it'll
always resurface somewhere andand I think it was so
interesting reading the articletoo, that you said your faith
really helped you. How did thathelp you?
Evelyn Alejandro (14:08):
I really started to flourish in my faith
when I reached community withfaith. So I did some service
trips to volunteer with otherChristians. And that was really
eye opening for me, because Isaw people that had been through
worse than I did, and I couldsee them still finding peace
with God, and that was reallyhelpful. And also just having a
(14:33):
good community around you thathas the same mindset was really
helpful for me as well, but Ithink my relationship with God,
one on one was the best thingfor me, because I was I've
always felt like no oneunderstood how I felt as a kid.
So with God, I feel like heknows everything, and it lets me
(14:54):
let go of the control of I needto control what's happening in
my life or what happened. Right,and it lets me accept it and
move on and keep going, and toalso find gratitude in
everything.
Nancy Barrow (15:08):
One of the things I love about Connecticut Paid
Leave and working there is wegive up to 12 weeks of income
replacement for mental health ifyour health care provider deems
it a serious health condition,or you are continuing treatment,
and you must take time away fromwork to get treatment like if
(15:29):
you're getting if you're gettingtherapy. It also covers
caregiver leave, so you can takecare of someone with a really
serious health condition, likemaybe your parents with mental
health issues, which may be achronic health condition. All
these things are so importantand really good resources. How
important do you feel programslike Connecticut Paid Leave are
to the Hispanic community atlarge and helping them with, you
know, what is something thatthey don't really like to talk
about?
Evelyn Alejandro (15:47):
Yeah, I think that that it's a great program
to have for the community. Ithink more of them need to
understand what it is and whatit can do for them. I don't
think many people know that theycan take leave for mental
health, or that they can takeleave for caregiving. I think a
lot of people are caregivers inthe Hispanic community, so that
(16:09):
would be super helpful. When mydad passed away, I was like so
ready to get back to work,because I need to do something
with my hands and keep moving.
Nancy Barrow (16:17):
So when did your dad pass away?
Evelyn Alejandro (16:19):
He passed away in 2023.
Nancy Barrow (16:22):
And when you know, when you go through something
like losing a parent, you knowthere is that grief issue, but
there's also, you know, you mayneed to take time away from work
so you can get some mentalhealth for yourself. And
sometimes it doesn't crop upright away, like PTSD doesn't
crop up right away. So the factthat, you know, you could use
(16:42):
this if you needed to go have,you know, therapy once a week,
you can take that time and getincome replacement for the time
that you need to do that, whichI think is wonderful that that
it's available to people.
Evelyn Alejandro (16:54):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Nancy Barrow (16:55):
Do you think things have changed at all with
the mental health stigma in theHispanic community since your
parents?
Evelyn Alejandro (17:02):
I think overall, as people, we
definitely have talked aboutmental health more, and a lot of
the times it is the surfacelevel of self care. And just
like reaching out to someonewhen you need help, which is
also a great point, but I thinkwe definitely still need to have
(17:23):
deeper conversations when you'rewith your grandparents or your
or your parents like I thinkthat sometimes they hide their
past from their kids becausethey might be embarrassed or it
might be hard for them to talkabout it, but I think the
history of their lives is soimportant to teach the next
generation, and it will helpthem learn from that as well. So
(17:48):
I think if more families hadreal conversation about their
life experience, more peoplewould not feel alone, and they
would understand how widespreadmental health is in their
families.
Nancy Barrow (18:01):
When did you get involved with Mental Health
Connecticut and and are they agood resource for people?
Evelyn Alejandro (18:07):
Yes, Mental Health Connecticut, I got
involved with them about a yearago. I saw them at a Community
Wellness Fair, and they do a lotof great programs throughout the
state. So they provide an artprogram called The Art of Well
Being. So they have free artclasses, playing instruments,
(18:27):
painting, drawing, crafting.
They did paper cranes workshop.
They just did a florist workshopwhere they teach you how to put
together flowers. Amazing. Yeah.
So they have a lot of greatprogramming, and they have a lot
of residential services where,if someone just has left the
hospital, the mental healthhospital, they can go and have
(18:47):
rehabilitation there, withtherapy and the art programs and
being around other people andsocializing. So that's really
great. And they also have a lotof resources on their website to
find therapy and to find help.
So if you go to M, H, C, O, N, N.org, right on the top right
(19:09):
hand corner, they have a FindHelp section, explore resources,
and they do a lot for the peoplein Connecticut. They also have a
Deaf and Hard of Hearing Servicethat they work with people that
are deaf and hard of hearing,who have a mental health
condition, and they have asocial group for them so they
can go out and do things as agroup. They also have a couple
(19:30):
other centers. They have one inWaterbury, the Independence
Center, where they also providefree meals, and they do more art
activities there as well.
Nancy Barrow (19:41):
Yeah, I think it's such a great resource. And, you
know, maybe if those resourceswere available for your parents,
that would have been reallyimportant for them and and a
good, a good tool for them touse.
Evelyn Alejandro (19:52):
Yeah, and they also do a lot of education, so I
think that would have beenhelpful for them as well, just
teaching people about mentalhealth and what like coping
mechanisms, and then they alsodo a lot of advocacy work in
legislation to make sure thatmental health conditions are
treated the same way ininsurance as physical
(20:15):
conditions.
Nancy Barrow (20:15):
What would you like to see happen during
Hispanic Heritage Month, whichis September 15 through October
15.
Evelyn Alejandro (20:25):
I think definitely want to learn more
history. I think a lot of peoplegrowing up didn't get taught
about Hispanic culture orhistory. So I always try to find
new articles or new resources toteach me about Hispanic culture,
and then also finding joy andfinding people getting together
(20:48):
to dance and celebrate ourculture.
Nancy Barrow (20:50):
What message would you like, you know, listeners of
this podcast, to walk away with?
I think that one of yourmessages of hope is, is really
important.
Evelyn Alejandro (21:01):
I would say there's a lot of resources that
Connecticut Paid Leave offersthat many people might not know.
So it's great getting togetherwith you and learning more about
it, and they can find moreresources on your website too.
Nancy Barrow (21:13):
Well, I want to thank my guest, Evelyn
Alejandro, an entrepreneur andbusiness woman and a person
speaking up for mental healthand self care. I really think
this has been really important,and thank you for telling a
really important story today.
And thank you so much for beingon The Paid Leave Podcast.
Evelyn Alejandro (21:28):
Thank you so much for having me here and
inviting me to chat with youtoday.
Nancy Barrow (21:32):
Well, you're keeping it the memory of your
parents alive, which I think isso super important for you and
and I hope for continued healingfor you. And you know you can
always count on Connecticut PaidLeave to help if, if you need us
there.
Thank you so much. Nancy.
For more information or to applyfor benefits, please go to
ctpaidleave.org. This has beenanother edition of The Paid
(21:55):
Leave Podcast. Please like andsubscribe so you'll be notified
about new podcasts that becomeavailable. Connecticut Paid
Leave is a public act with apersonal purpose. I'm Nancy
Barrow, and thanks forlistening.
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